Monthly Archives: April 2015

The Day You Became a Stranger to Me…

We’re, going down, this slippery slope, and we both knew, that this, will NOT end well, at A-L-L!!!

The day you became a stranger to me, but how, we were related, a very long time ago, I suppose, and now, I don’t even recognize your face at all, I see you, as a foreigner in my world, a complete stranger…

The day you became a stranger to me, it’d hurt, and this day had, eventually come, for your condition had worsened, to the point, that you can’t even recognize that that’s you, reflected, in that dresser mirror anymore.

The day you became a stranger to me, who are you, what are you doing in my house?  HELP!  INTRUDER!!!  The day you became a stranger to me, that, is the day, I hoped that I could die, but, I’m still here, for some unknown reasons…

The day you became a stranger to me, there’s NO way ‘round it, because with the deteriorations of your mind, you’d stared at that blank wall more and more, and although I’d still come visit you three, four time a week, but, we’re rarely, interacted with one another anymore.

The day you became a stranger to me, I had never seen you before!  Who are you?  And, why do I have a ring, on my ring finger, I’m not married, I’m only ten years old!

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Filed under Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Despair, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Loss, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, White Picket Fence

Working Hard, to Gain Their Fathers’ Approvals

Call it, a bildungsroman if you want to…

Working hard, to gain their fathers’ approvals, and, that was ALL they’d ever wanted, to have their fathers’ proud looks as they’d talked about their children, but, that never came.

Working hard, to gain their fathers’ approvals, they’d done that, and yet, in the very end, they still, didn’t quite, measure up, because their fathers had, set that god DAMN bar too high, because their own fathers too, set those bars too high.

Working hard, to gain their fathers’ approvals, and, as they’d become fathers themselves, they’d become exact COPIES of their own fathers too, making it hard, for their own offspring, to gain their approval.

Working hard, to gain their fathers’ approvals, because as children, we ALL need to see that reflection of pride, in our parents’ eyes, but, that, is something we will NEVER see, reflected, back at us, all we will EVER see is, that hint of disappointment, knowing, that we didn’t do well enough, and, we’re belittled, by our own fathers, just as, they were, belittled by their fathers before them…

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Expectations, Parent-Child Interactions, Vicious Cycle

The Sense of Helplessness that Accompanies Me, in Caring for You

Been feeling it, quite a lot lately, actually, with the progression of your dementia, we’d placed you on meds, took you to a TON of supposedly-helpful classes, and now, they’re kicking you out, because you’d become, disruptive to others, and couldn’t concentrate for a long time…

The sense of helplessness that accompanies me, in caring for you, nobody can and will EVER understand, for I’m one, fighting, this war that I know I can’t EVER win!  But, I keep, fighting on, took you to the doctors, and watched him, wrote out that one MORE prescription slip, for your meds, and, I’d wanted to ask him, is there any way, that I can, slow down the progression, but, the words, got swallowed down, and, it’d tasted bitter, as they, trickled down my throat.

The sense of helplessness that accompanies me, in caring for you, why am I the one, who must handle it all?  When you’d stayed with me, you’d talked of your other kids, as if, I don’t even matter, how, how can you forget me, I am, your caretaker, your other kids are either way too busy, or they don’t want you, only me, I was, the only one who took you in, and this, is how you repay me?

The sense of helplessness that accompanies me, in caring for you, does it ever, go away?  I know I shouldn’t, and I feel, extremely guilty for it, but, why can’t you, just die already?  You’d already, outlived your husband, isn’t that enough???

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Despair, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Vicious Cycle

Waiting for You, at the Finishing Lines

Waiting for you, at the finishing lines, is still NOTHING you would want!  You’d finished running, this long, AND hard marathon called life, and, seen a ton of beautiful, and ugly-as-hell scenes along the way, haven’t you?  And now, you’re just about done…

Waiting for you, at the finishing lines, don’t expect a hero’s welcome, because you ain’t gettin’ none, because you’d done so many things wrong along the way, tripped someone, just to get ahead, elbowed your opponent, to keep her/him from outrunning you, don’t THINK I didn’t notice!

Waiting for you, at the finishing lines, are the mistakes you’d made, crimes you’d committed, and, that red-faced dude, with the pitchfork, and the horns, a goatee, with that lizard-like tail, ready, to COLLECT, and, you WILL pay up.

Waiting for you, at the finishing lines, are all the dreams you’d ever hard, and, as you run past each and every one of them, you’d recalled how you’d felt, when you first dreamt them all up one by one, you’d wanted stay awhile, but, you couldn’t, your feet are urging you, to move on, and, you’d left your hearts, where those broken dreams were………

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Expectations, Karma, Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling

Two Lost Souls, Joined by One Happily Ever After

Like that UGLY-AS-HELL toad and that DUMB-BLONDE princess???

Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, they were drawn, by the mirage that Crystal Ball they gazed into together, that promised them a bright and happy future together.  Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, you know, it’s kinda like how Cindy thought that she’s free of her working as a maid days, the moment she’d fitted her foot into that glass slipper, without realizing, that the weight GAINED from her unwanted pregnancies, by the spreading of Charming’s TADPOLES, will cause her, to CRACK the heels of those glass slippers.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, and they still don’t live happily ever after until the very end, and that, would be how all those modern day, starry-eyed, dumb BLONDE princesses’ tales end.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, they fell, to the false promises of a happily ever after, and that, was all that it took………



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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Lessons, Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Socialization

Can the Hearts of the Elderly Really be Soothed by Robots?

Yeah, uh, you’ve GOT to be SHITTING me here, right???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The accompaniments of robots with elderly persons who lived alone, or in nursing homes, or to assist the elderly in their daily living, it’s becoming a trend in Europe now.  As the age of elderly comes, in the future, the robots will not only replace manual labor, they will be able to provide for the consoles of the mind and spirits as well, but, this worried the scholars, that the real emotions between humans are slowly, replaced by machines.

In the nursing homes in Holland and Belgium, they’d already had robots who can hold conversations, to accompany elderly who are lonely, to talk, and they can also massage the elderly too; in Denmark, where the elderly population is not used to living with their young, a talking robot became the best company of elderly, like a pet.

There are about five million elderly who lived alone in France currently, and, about thirty-percent had cut themselves off from the rest of the society totally, and, there are similar trends in western, northern European nations too; and so, the robots with the ability to interact became the elderly who lived alone’s “people” to talk to.

A nursing home in France had recently set up a robot to accompany and take care of the elderly, as the media got the news, there are those who are hooraying for how much the technologies are advancing right now, and, there are those who are worried about the robots’ ability to show emotions.

It seems, that human life had become, more, and more reliant on robot, from factories, home, to waiters, etc., etc., etc., a lot of the jobs are replaced by robots now; and now, the robots can also soothe someone’s moods, and to hold conversations too, the scholars in France are worried, that, would these intelligent robots cause people to drift farther, and farther away from one another?

A nursing home in Holland awhile ago had a brand new way, if a foreign student accompanies an elderly for thirty hours a month, they can get free room and board, the younger students could take their spare time away from school, to hold conversations with elderly, to hold birthday parties for them, to teach the eighty-something elderly man to use the internet, to write an e-mail, all of these care and concerns that stemmed from the heart, no robot can replace.

But, with the reduction of birthrate, and people living longer and longer, if there’s not enough members of the younger generations willing to put in the time, then, robots shall become, the best companions.

And so, this, is going to be a BIG problem, especially with the intelligent robot that is described here, plus, the younger generations ALL have their separate lives to live, and, chances are, that they won’t have the time, to spend all of their off hours (away from work) around their aging parents, and so, robots shall be, taking over this world eventually!

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Expectations, Observations, Social Awareness, Socialization, Values, Wake Up Calls

The Riots in Baltimore, “It’s as If There’s an Anarchy”

Unrest in the world here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Entering into a State of Emergency, the Rioters Committed Arsons, Smashed the Cars, Committed Robberies………Fifteen Officers Injured, Five Thousand Militia Men were Stationed

On the 27th, in Baltimore, Maryland, there was a serious riot, several thousand went into mourning for a young African American, Greg, while he’d tried to resist arrest and was shot fatally, by the police, the riot started just a few hours after his funeral, the rioters set the shops on fire, burned the police vehicles, assaulted the police officers, the Governor of Maryland declared it a state of emergency for the state, and a curfew is enforced, and sent out five thousand civilian militants to keep the orders.

Over a hundred of youths got into confrontation with the police on the 27th, there were more who’d taken advantage of the situation, the police were fully equipped as they’d gone to the scene of the riots, and would use pepper sprays from time to time, to threaten the rioting public.  The streets became overflown with broken glasses and trash, the group of rioters gathered in smaller groups, smashed shops, destroyed the patrol vehicles, set the building, and the parked cars by the streets ablaze, there were also those who’d driven to the malls, and took the merchandises without paying, Maryland seemed to have fallen under anarchy.

The New York Times reported, that the African American gangsters from the local areas told them, that as the riots started, the gangsters went to offer assistance to the shops owned by African Americans, to make sure that these shops won’t be attacked.  But, these gangsters had pointed out, which shops were owned by Asians, Middle Easterners, so they can smash the shops, to take out their angers.

The police arrested twenty-seven individuals, and said, that there were fifteen officers who were injured during the process, and, six of them are in critical condition.  On the early morning of the 28th, the militia took over the streets, and, the situation in the city had calmed by a whole lot, and, the city’s employees and volunteers were starting to clean up the streets, but, there were, a lot of the building that fell to arsonists, still smoking.

The Governor, Hogan declared, that there would be a curfew set into effect, from ten o’clock on the 28th, to five o’clock in the morning on the 29th, and it will last a week, and, the underage minors are to follow this curfew indefinitely.

The mayor, Rawlings-Blake said, that the sight of the city being broken had broken her heart.  But, a lot of the residents believed, that the government didn’t act right away, as the riots started happening, causing there to be so much damages.

Gray was arrested on the 12th of April, he was seriously injured, taken to the hospital, on the 19th, he was declared dead, the cause of his death, multiple fractures on his spine.  A lot of the rioters believed, that Gray was tortured to death by the police, and, since the 19th, there are protesters on the streets of Baltimore every single day.

And so, this, is another case of race at war, and, this, is bound to happen, because people finally decided to do something, about the unfair treatment of people of different colored skins, and this, is still just the TIPS of a HUGE iceberg, and, because the citizens felt that there was an injustice that weren’t righted, and so, they’d taken matters into their own hands, after all, the government is NOT doing anything about it.

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Filed under Awareness, Belief in a Just World, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Follow the "Leader", Issues of the Society, Messed Up Values, Racism, Trends, Vicious Cycle, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls

Her Angel in Green Uniform…Delivered the Groceries for Her for Five Years on End

There’s still kindness in the world that we’re living in, despite how many pieces of bad news are out there, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman diagnosed with cerebral palsy, Pan, who lives alone in Sanchong, had met a post office worker, Wang, when she’d dropped off a package awhile ago, and, for the five years since, other than picking up her packages, Wang also delivered rice, vegetables to Pan regularly, when Pan had a stroke, Wang had gone to the hospitals to visit her three times, even helped pay for her fees for the hospital stays, causing Pan to be moved by his kindness.

The fifty-nine year-old Pan dropped off a package five years ago at the post office, the post office didn’t have the handicapped railings, she couldn’t get into the building, and waited outside anxiously, and, Wang happened to pass through, not only did he help her mail her package back then, he’d also promised, “In the future, you don’t need to come to the post office, just call us up, and, we’ll come and pick up your packages.”

Because Wang had interacted with those who are disabled regularly, he’d gotten a few friends to set up a compassion group together, and, everybody from the group would put in donations of one to two thousand dollars a month, to get donated perishable items such as rice, crackers, and they’d taken the time away from work, to deliver the items to the area’s elderly who lived along, single mothers.  And, every year right before the New Year’s, Pan would buy wholesale snacks, and sell them, when he’s busy, working at the post office, he’d asked along his friends and relatives to help him out, to shop together as a group, helped Pan get her sales quota of over twenty thousand dollars a month, Pan wanted to give him some good in return, but he’d insisted on paying her for it, “She’s making a living the hard way, I should not take advantage of her.”

Wang said, that as a mail carrier, he’d trekked all over, and, it’s no trouble at all, for him to go out of his way, to see if someone needed extra help, several of the elderly in the community whom he’d treated like fathers had passed away one by one, and, he’d carried the mails from their homes that could no longer be received, and felt sad about it.  This also made him realized, that he must take advantage of now.

And so, this man had shown care and concern to others, helped a handicapped woman with delivery and receiving of her items, and this stemmed from his empathy, because he saw that there’s a need, therefore, he’d gathered a group of individuals who are willing to help out too, and, they’re doing a ton of good.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Life, News Stories, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling

The Dysfunctions of Families are Shown by the Mirror Sound Kingdom Incident

From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The adolescent, Chang who operated the group “Mirror Sound Kingdom” had enticed two young adolescent girls to run away from home last year, and this year, he’d managed to entice another adolescent girl, Kung to the mountains, and, it took the police ten days to finally find them.  On the surface, it’s a story of how two kids ran away from home, but, the images of two middle-school aged children hovering together, in an off-the-maps rundown shack, it’s truly, heartbreaking.  But why, does the youth, Chang kept finding members of his cohort, to accompany him, to live off, away from civilizations?  And why, was he able to, get them to come along each and every single time?

From Chang’s Facebook accounts, you can tell that he’s excellent in writing, with a good imagination, with the maturity, that most kids his age didn’t have, if he can be led on the right tracks of artistry, he may become famous some day, but, instead, he’d used his characteristics, to capture his preys.  Last year after he was found, the courts returned him back to his parents, without knowing, that he came from a broken up home, and the parents no longer cared for him anymore.  On top of that, when Chang was discovered, he was dressed up as a girl, could it be, that he’s facing difficulties in gender identity, is that why, he needed, to make his own world?  All of these issues, should be taken into the awareness of the schools, as well as the social welfare organizations.

Kung, the adolescent girl came from a strict family, because she’d gotten drawn in to anime and cosplay, her cell phone was confiscated by her parents, she’d become depressed, which was why, she’d turned to the online virtual reality to pour her heart out, that, was how she’d met the adolescent, Chang.  Cell phone had become an important part of teenagers’ lives, the parents should try to console with their teens, instead of just, taking away the privileges, to avoid a harsh and unmanageable confrontation.

Family is the earliest kingdom for a child, and, why would a child abandon it, and run into the mountains, to build up his own world?  This, is a question, worth looking into, by the adults.

And so, this, is the discussion of how because the families out there are malfunctioning, that, is why those troubled young adults are turning to the online world, to find people who can understand what they’re going through, and, it’s also, because of the neglect to pay more attention to what is going on in these teenagers’ minds, that’s caused them to need to find an alternate place they feel belonging to.

Twelve Small White Doves, the Education of Children

The observations of a teacher here, translated…

One of the students, Hua, is a student who’s easily ignored, he would always come and go, like the lone rider, rarely raised his hands to voice his thoughts and opinions in class either.  And, from time to time, I’d heard him, engage in interactions with others, on borrowing erasers from his classmates, and, it took him, ten sentences’ time, to blurt out one complete sentence, turns out, that when he feels nervous, he’d have a stutter, couldn’t get his point across, and, it’d cost him on the interpersonal relationships’ front.  I’d thought about it on my own, that I must help this child out, it’s just, that I just, can’t think of a good way to.

On a certain afternoon, I was accompanying the kids as they had their lunch, all of a sudden, Hua came to my desk, said to me, “Teacher, look so many white doves are strolling on the field”.

“Oh wow, they are, do you know them?”, I’d looked toward the field.

“Sure I do!  They were abandoned by the neighbors living opposite of our building, there are, a dozen of them.”

“How do you know that there are a dozen, and, how do you know, that they were abandoned by your neighbors?”, I asked him, out of curiosity.

“Because they’re all my best friends, and so, I’d named all of them, look at the one with the spots behind the neck, I call it ‘dinky’, and, the one with the damaged leg on the back………”

Hua started talking continually, and told me every characteristic trait of every one of those pigeons, all of a sudden, I’d come to understand why he’d insisted on having a birdhouse built by the school, and he’d even bought the bird feeds out of his own allowances to feed them, turns out, it was because he didn’t want to see his friends, the pigeons, to go hungry, without a home.

I was moved by the compassion of this child, and I’d found one thing too, that once stuttering youth who’d become too isolated, in front of things that he was intrigued by, had become a bird expert.

And so, I’d borrowed a couple of books on bird from the libraries, and told Hua that he has a brand new assignment, hoped that he could finish a report on the twelve small pigeons by the end of the semester, and that I will have him, report to the class on their progress; and, if he has troubles along the way, I and other kids in the class will be more than happy to help him out.

I thought, that Hua would say no, but gladly, he’d took up the assignment that’s outside the curriculum, not specified in the homework assignments.

“Child, thank you so much, for helping me find a way, to help you, and, thank you for not turning down my requests, I hope, that this beautiful beginning can help you see your own potential, to no longer just have bird friends, and gain your more friends who are your peers, in the road to learning, you will no longer be alone, you have us, to accompany you.”

So, all that’s needed here, was to find something that the kid is intrigued by, is interested in, and, allow him, to exercise his mind, and, this teacher was on the verge of giving up on this young child, but gladly, she didn’t, and, the kid had managed, to impress her.

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Filed under Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Issues of the Society, Social Awareness, Socialization

A Game of Chess


Director, based off of the word, the most important role is to direct the performances of the actors and actresses.  On this, I’d become a student of.

Last month, there was a gathering of movie fanatics, where I’d met the director, Chi-Yen Yi.  Because of work, I’d just started working with a young actor who was under his directions from before, he’d asked me what I thought about the actor?  “He’s easy to film.” I’d told him, it’s really hard, to have a good actor like him.

“Easy to film”, is not to be taken as good looking on camera, from the angle of ads on TV, certain models look better from certain angles, and, we’d especially zoomed in on that.  And still, that’s in commercial, but, if we’re shooting a film, then, how can we just shoot one side of the actor or actress’s face?  That would be too weird, too awkward.

What I meant by “easy to film” is that the performance of the actor/actress is very natural, at the time I’m filming them.

Working with this kind of actors or actresses, as the camera started rolling, you wouldn’t want to shut it off again—you couldn’t help, but feel attracted to the performances the actors or actresses are giving, to the point you’d forgotten to yell, “CUT!”  and, when you’re editing, you’d realized, that almost EVERY single segment with her/him in it, is usable.  But you knew, that in order to perform so naturally, so realistic, it is, truly a difficult thing to do, this has to do with the performer’s concentration and imagination.  Of course, other than the talents, getting into one’s role is also a needed preliminary.

But, everybody gets tired from time to time, the performers couldn’t continually perform up to standard all the time, so, the camera crew must also be prepared.

As the actors and actresses walked on set to rehearse, the camera crews zoom in, the art crew made sure the props are all right, the sound department made sure that the quality of the sounds are up to standard………but wait, think of how those endless nights we’d taken to work, those cigarette butts, piling up, sky-high, along with all those vitamin, dietary supplements, what are they for?  For the sake, of capturing the actors’ and actresses’ outstanding performance, and, keep it recorded down, in the hard drives (originally, on the film strips, but now, film strips are rarely used).

This reminded me of chess.

Any game worth remembering are played, with an honorable opponent, so, the two of you can go back and forth, back and forth, continue together, perfectly.  Yes, we’re all, in search of perfection, filming is exactly so, both parties needed to work real hard.  If the actors or actresses didn’t remember the lines, couldn’t get into characters, then, it would be, wasting the filming crews’ time; but, if because of a technicality error, and lost the shot of the actors/actresses’ perfect moment on screen, then, the unprofessionalism is on the filming crew.

He’d easy to film, but, you couldn’t get the best shots of him.

This is all about work ethics, and having the professionalism, and, it is, like a game of chess, because you have to watch everything that’s going on, to make the right moves, this, is even more so in life, isn’t it???

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Filed under Expectations, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Work Ethics