The column by Jimi Liao, translated…
I Heard His Cries
I Felt His Despair
I’d Touched His Sorrows
I’d, Closed the Book
He’d, Vanished So Suddenly
Then, Immediately, Came to Me Again
And so, this showed, how the pen IS, mightier than the SWORD, the words touched people, even AFTER they’re done, getting spoken out there, and the influences of words will keep on carrying over…
Finding out why, and, letting go of that feeling of being betrayed, realizing, that what the adults in your life did, was what they thought was, best for you, translated…
Ever since I could recall, I’d lived alone, with my mother in Korea, we’d never spent, a day apart. Later, I’d come to Taiwan to study, to marry, to have children, and settled down in Taipei, with my mother there, by my side. But, shortly after she passed, my former classmates from Korea sent me a weird news: there were, a couple of Koreans who were, desperately, searching for me, and claimed that they were, my relatives.
How’s that possible? Am I, zoomed in, by the international scam artists?
From before when there was only a small circle of Asians we’d associated ourselves with, there’s, that invisible sense of pride from being Chinese, that was, that sense of superiority of being Chinese, not wanting to be with the Koreans, we were, living, on someone else’s land, but felt, that they were, second class citizens. This weird belief, showed the most when someone is arguing with an Asian person, when we only needed to blurt out, “You looked like a Korean!”, it was, the biggest sort of insult to the individual, and, the person you’re arguing with will totally get outraged when you’d called them that.
like this family??? Photo from online…
Growing up in this sort of an atmosphere, I’d only begged to pass the Korean language exams, and, every other course in high school, I’d made straight A’s, only Korean, I’d scored toward the bottom; and, my communication abilities was just enough, for me to use when I go shopping in the marketplaces.
When the Korean who’d come met me to show me he was related to me, he’d provided the adoption papers, and photos of me as a young child, mailed everything to me, and, all of those, “evidences” proved, that I was, a Korean, heads down!
Isn’t it outrageous, thinking that I was, Chinese all along, and then, I turned out to be, Korean? This was, the biggest kind of irony. I refused to admit that I was, Korean, I hated that classmate who’d, exposed me for who I was, and I’d, hated my birthmother, for giving me up for adoption.
After six months’ worth of struggles, my second eldest sister kept making those international calls to care for me, and, repeatedly, sent the presents to my husband and my two children, and my heart finally, started, to disarm itself, and finally agreed to, meet with them.
In the city of Suwon, I’d finally, met my five sisters and my younger brother. All these middle-aged uncles and aunts, as they’d, described of the hardship and trials they’d weathered through in life, I’d not heard a single word of complaint, their persistence, optimism, passion, comparing to my own prejudices, my aloofness, my dissatisfactions, made me so ashamed I wanted to find a hole to hide in.
What right had I, to hold my prejudices against Koreans? And, why can’t I understand, the pains and hardships my mother who’d carried me for ten whole months, and know how trying it must’ve been, for her, to give me up for adoption? Had it been not my birthfather’s death when he was way too young, had it not been my mother being too young, and needed to remarry, had it not been for my second eldest sister crying for one whole weeks at my adopted mother’s home, and got “returned”, and I got sent up for adoption, my fate would’ve been, so totally, different, how could I have gotten to live as an only child, cherished, sent to Taiwan for my college years, to become a teacher, to meet a good man, and marry and have children.
or this??? Photo from online…
And now, both my mothers had passed, but the love they had for me, was enough, to last me, my whole life. Toward my birthmother, other than being grateful, there’s, that extra understanding; for my adoptive mother, other than, being grateful, there’s that sense of, missing her forever!
And so, it’s all due to fate, that this had, happened, and, back when you were a child, you may not understand WHY it was, that you were, given up for adoption, and perhaps, you’d carried the resentments toward your birthparents, for giving you up, and your adoptive parents, to keeping the truth from you, but, as you got older, and started your own family, you’d, realized, that given the situations of your past, all those adults did what they thought was, best for you, and, you’d become, grateful, for having everything that you have in life…
Filed under Adoption, Awareness, Because of Love, Childhood, Choices, Connections, Cost of Living, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Perspectives, Socialization, Things Left Behind, Values
A child without Christmas, because s/he is orphaned, without love of anybody, left abandoned, in those drop boxes outside of those age-old churches…
A child without Christmas grows up, experiencing nothing BUT the icy cold weather, the coldness of other people’s stares, because s/he is unloved and unwanted.
here’s someone who probably wouldn’t experience Christmas as something wonderful, photo from online…
A child without Christmas, becomes lost around the holidays, and, everywhere s/he looks, there’s, so much love flowing from others’ lives, and, s/he grew even more resentful of life and fate! A child without Christmas, how, does a child grow up without Christmas? How can a child, NOT know ANY love, and still live to grow up into adulthood? Or, maybe, the child without Christmas, had died, a long, long, long time ago, and, s/he became, another Ghost of Christmases Past?
A child without Christmas, feels the pain, creeping up, as the Christmas season draws near, and, s/he stopped, heading outdoors by mid to late-November, because the “scent” of the season grows stronger, as the year nears end………
how can you possibly think about what you’re getting for X’mas IF you can’t even have your most basic needs filled from day to day? Photo from online…
Kindness from all around, from the Newspapers, translated…
“Do let me help her!”, the special report from the papers this March about how the elementary school age girl, Wei-Han Wang lived with the low-income assistance money from the government that supported her family of four, consisting of her grandparents, and an older brother, how although life was hard, she’d not gotten beaten by it. As the newspaper printed her story, “Grandpa Yeh” came to the school himself, and told the officials he’d wanted to sponsor Wei-Han Wang by the month, and “Grandpa Chen” sent a letter, with cash enclosed, it’d warmed up Wei-Han Wang and her grandmother’s heart.
The news report pointed out, that Wei-Han Wang was only in the fourth grade, and yet, she’d accumulated a whole STACK of awards, from when she was in the first grade, she’d received $2,000N.T. for scholarship for excellent academic performances, which she’d turned into her grandmother, to help the household, and she’d earned scholarship money from a foundation too.
A week after her story was told after March 10th, an eighty-year-old elderly C.E.O., Yeh went to the elementary school to visit, after he’d met the principal, Chen, he’d shown her a newspaper clipping from his wallet, told her, “I want to help her out!”
Grandpa Yeh said, he grew up poor, that he’d started his business from nothing too, that now he has the abilities, and he was very moved by the young girl, Wang’s story, wanted to give her a better life, and so, he’d made the trip to Bitou, and expressed how he’d wanted to help Wei-Han Wang out each and every month.
The principal, Chen was moved, told him, that Wei-Han’s grandmother believed that there are those less fortunate than she, and turned Grandpa Yeh’s offer down, but Grandpa Yeh helped install the wind-resistant windows, he’d also bought the cleaning equipment for the outside walls of the school to help the school, so the kids won’t have to sit through the cold winters in class.
a photo of the young girl in school, courtesy of the UDNpapers.
Several months later, on August 23, the elementary school received a registered mail signed by “Grandpa Chen”, with the newspaper clipping, and $6,000N.T. cash; Grandpa Chen who teaches as a professor at Poli-Sci University said, that he thumbed across the story about Wei-Han in the newspaper, he was very moved by the hardworking mannerism of the young girl, he’d clipped the news off, and placed it in the first page of his notebook, and would read it once every single day.
Awhile ago, he’d passed by the local office of the Department of Education, he’d asked the secretary there for the address of Wei-Han Wang’s school, wanted to send her something, also, to fulfill the wish he’d carried, for so long already.
As the Wangs received Grandpa Chen’s money for help, they were very moved, and, Wei-Han told the press happily, that after she’s older, she too, will help others in need as well.
the letter written to the young girl by the elderly man who’d donated to help her and her family out, from UDN.com…
So, this, is how the cycle of kindness gets passed down, because someone saw something that moves him on the news, and, decided to help the person in need, and, the person in need who received the help, was touched, and she’d made a wish too, to help someone else in need when she’s able to, and so, the cycle of kindness is also, rolling here………
We’re all, impacted by this, because they (whoever they may be???) still don’t call it “growing pains” for nothing, do they? Nope!
The debris of childhood, we’re all, feeling the impacts of the destructions, at various stages in our lives, and for some, because they refused to acknowledge, that their childhoods are so FUCKED up (and your point being???), that they needed a lie to live in, and so, they’d made up this HUGE wonderful lie, that they actually had amazing parents who loved them.
The debris of childhood, had you been impacted yet, I had, my life was sent, on that CRASH course, and, I was tossed, from that rollercoaster called my own life, but, I’d held on, refused to let go, and that, was how I was able to survive! The debris of childhood, are you ready, to face it, up front? Can you, handle the truth, that your parents may be like mine: abusive AND neglectful? Because NOBODY can choose her/his family of origin, that, is why all families of origin is a SOURCE of pain for all!
And no, this is still NOT my picture, found it online…
Translated…
The winter’s sun managed to
Dry up the dampened verses taped on my back
And, all those who are behind me
All looked upon my back curiously
But, there was just, one child who’d just
Learned to read
Who’d started, reciting the verses on my back
This just shows how pure children are, because, as an adult, we’d been taught, not to do things, that it would be impolite, but, sometimes, it takes a child, to point out to us, the oddities of what’s happening, like that kid in The Emperor’s New Clothes, that pointed out that the emperor wasn’t wearing anything.
Summers are hitting the children, especially hard here!!! From the Front Page Sections, translated…
The Child Welfare League conducted a research on the cases that social workers followed up on since last December from January 6 to February 27, toward the families whom the social workers had followed for three months. The findings showed, that as the summer vacation started, without the nutritious meals provided by the schools, nearly forty-percent of school age kids didn’t get their lunches every day, and, even if they had lunches daily, thirty-seven percent of the kids didn’t have enough nutrition, twelve percent of the children are eating leftovers every single day.
On top of that, nearly sixty percent of the children needed to help out around the house, thirty-one percent had to work as nannies, to help babysit the younger siblings, twenty-two percent needed to work outside the home, to help make money for the household, to to get one’s own tuition for next semester. Fifty-seven percent of the children don’t have adult supervision at home this summer, twelve percent of the kids didn’t see their parents as they headed off to bed, nearly thirty percent of these children only saw their parents once per week.
“Happy” who is in the fourth grade lost his mother when he was real young, his father was diagnosed with stomach cancer six years ago, the family economics are hounding down on him, every single summer, he’d gone to the fields to work in the scorching sun, and, his tiny arms are filled with wounds from the cuts from the grass, but, to help lessen the load on his cancer-prone father, he’d never made a single complaint; recently, his grandmother had a stroke, toward the summer that’s coming, Happy told, that he just wanted to work harder in the fields, so he could help make more money for his family.
“Sunny”, who’s also in the fourth grade, lived in the distant regions, there are four members of his family, and because there were no pipes in his house, he and his family had to use the underground water for cleaning and drinking, and, if the weather got cold, the family would burn wood, to heat up the water for use. Sunny’s father is ill, the family lived off of the migrated mother’s less than $20,000N.T. pay from the factory, in order to take care of his mildly retarded younger brother, he’d bathed him, fed him, took care of his own younger brother’s daily living, without a word of complaint. When the reporters asked him about his wish for the summer, Sunny said, “It would be wonderful, if my family and I can travel some place for a day!”
These wishes, seemed so simple to us all, but, they are all, distant and hard-to-reach dreams for these kids, because they were born, into difficult situations, and yet, they still all faced the challenges in their separate lives, with a positive attitude, and that, is something we can all take from.
