Category Archives: Philosophies of Life

Why Feel Loss, as Life Approaches its Dusk

A second life, the right attitude to take, toward aging here, translated…

Few years before I retired, every year I’d find some time, to travel around the island for a few days with my wife, or, work with the time schedules of the local celebrations, and it’d always, left those, memories so memorable to us.

As I retired, all of us, coworkers, good friends all regained our own freedoms of mind and body back, and, we no longer just, traveled as couples, but, hollered out to those who will join us, and, the group of us would tour everywhere, to hike up the mountains, and, the frequencies turned from once a month to weekly trips.

And, every time we’d gone out with different people, and, we had different habits, and, getting along with each other became, something we all had to, work on.  But thankfully, everybody is’ older, and we can, all learn, to tolerate each other, and find that delicate, balance, which made these trips, good experiences, very memorable.

Some say, the best assets as we entered into our elderly years, is to have friends with whom we can share things with.  Surely, in this aging community, the younger generations aren’t willing, or without the time, to stay close to the elders that they have, and, we, the aging need to have that understanding, to know, that having the company of old friends, so we won’t, lose the center of our lives.

And, looking on the world, there are, too many, disasters, and my friends were all touched by them, we couldn’t, predict, at what moment, these things can, befall onto us, and we’d, learned, that living in the moment is the most important; especially where we are in our lives, we should, take a hold onto, that colorful sunset, before the sun goes down, so we don’t, waste our lives.

Growing old is a process we must all face, but, no need to feel stressed.  The old saying stated it well, “knowing how beautiful the sunset is, no need to fear when the sun sets.”, how to keep life radiant, colorful, fulfilled, it’s all reliant on your selves; gather around with a group of friends, to go outdoors, to immerse yourselves in nature, it’s, not a bad idea!

And so, as life slows itself down, you’re, nearing the sunsets of your lives, and, instead of feeling worried over death, you should take this attitude of having been through everything, and start enjoying your life after retirement, because you never know when your lives are ending, so you should, take advantage, to live out the rest of your aging life better!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Awareness, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Retirement

The Supper He Made

So glad that it’s NOT my day to cook today!!!  Translated…

Looking at the table’s worth of food he’d prepared, I was, moved, became, dumbfounded!  The steamed crab, the pepper shrimps, the pan-seared tofu, the ginseng black-boned chicken…………all of which are, my favorites.

But three months ago before, from when my husband started, cooking the suppers on the weekends, it wasn’t, that wonderful scent of food that made my mouth watered that came out of the kitchen, and, what he’d made then, tasted, exactly like what I would take out to throw as trash, what’s worse was, he would NOT allow anybody, to criticize his, cooking skills.

To fight to my right to NOT cook on the weekends, I’d fought with him, for almost five years, him being, too macho, and no matter what, he just couldn’t accept the fact, that I do NOT want to cook on the weekends.  Back then he’d stated it too clearly, that we can go out to eat every now and then, but not every weekend.

Being raised by the feminist era, I naturally could NOT accept the time that women are allowed to have off from being a wife and/or a mother.  Taking care of the family during the week, I know I’m reasonable, for NOT wanting to make the meals on the weekends.  Should the mothers shoulder everything?

圖/Dofa
illustration from UDN.com

And, we’d disagreed, more and more, and the meals on the weekends became, a war zone, the stresses was, building, I just, wanted to, get away from the warzone, and every time weekend rolled around, I’d, wanted to, not go home for supper, and not wanted my own families to worry, in the end, I can only, wander alone on the streets.  Then, my husband got into a silent treatment war, and I felt, defeated, over my own marriage.

One day, at supper, my child asked me abruptly, what his grandma liked to eat from what I cooked?  I was stumped, then, said, “tell the truth, I’d never cooked anything for your grandmother ever!”

My child was surprised, “What?  Grandma had never had anything you cooked?”

My husband who was already finished, looked at me instantly, then, lowered his head back to his cell phone.

I told my son, “before I wed, I was my mother’s baby girl, she’d never made me cook, told me that cooking was hard and hot, and even as we go home to visit her, she still wouldn’t allow me to cook.”

“So, is that why you cook so much right now, because you love it?”, he continued asking.  “I don’t like to cook, actually, I HATE it!”

“Then why are you cooking every day?”, my son actually hoped that he could have burgers every day.

“because nobody will cook for me, because I need to watch out for your health!  That’s why I’d, grit my teeth, and no matter how I hated it, I still, cooked every single day!”

his turn to cook!

photo from online

At this time, my husband’s cell phone had, turned black and he’d, failed to notice, because he was too focused, “eavesdropping” on my son and I.  And, this conversation may have, touched some part of him, and, he’d, turned that into the table’s worth of meal three months later, on this, very day.

And so, all it took, was for you, to LET your husband KNOW, that you got tired of having to make every single meal, but, he’d not understood, because you NEVER told him verbally, because you probably thought, that he should, already KNOW it, but he didn’t, NOT until he’d eavesdropped into that conversation you had with your son.

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Filed under Awareness, Choices, Gender Roles, Life, Marriages, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

An Accidental Father

A conversation with one’s own young, on the duties, obligations, responsibilities of parents, from a legal angle here, translated…

“Mommy, what are you reading?”, my younger child came toward my desk, saw that blue-covered, yellowed pages, diary in my hand.

“This was your grandfather’s diary.”  I’d held back my tears, put it up in silence.

“When I was young, grandpa always told me, I’ll take you to Carrefour, RT Mart, bought me all those treats!”, my daughter got nostalgic.

查看來源圖片this???  photo from online

Yeah!  Mommy’s busy working, grandpa and grandma came to mommy’s rescue every time, and I’d needed them to come watch you and your older brother often.

“I loved going to the toy store with papa!”, my older son told, “I saw a limited edition Gundam that’s very expensive, papa didn’t have that much money, but I’d told papa that by tomorrow, it’ll be, gone!  And on that very night, papa went and bought it!”  my son has the potential as a scam artist, and I’m sure, that my father was, more than glad to get, cheated too.

“I don’t think I remember my inside grandpa and grandma at all!”, my younger daughter stated.

“what inside grandpa and grandma?  Your paternal grandparents, my parents!”, her father laughed and straightened her out.

Because they got too old, and, God called them up earlier to be fairies, you were still, too young.

or this…photo from online

So as mommy read through papa’s diary, she got sad.  Especially how today is Father’s Day, I really hope that I can have that meal with my father, to watch T.V. together, to have this, ordinary sort of a bliss again.

My younger daughter hesitated a bit, ran to get a cup of tea, and, served it with great respect to her father.

And her father flipped through the papers, and let out a cool sort of “hmmmmmmmm!”, and I saw that smile, curling up his lips, he was now, gloating!

“there’s only one dad, you must, cherish him!”, my son is now, sucking up too, with a fan, fanning to cool his dad down, maybe, he’d not done well on an exam, and needed to put out his father’s fire before he’d shown the papers for him to sign.

There’s, that mix and match of emotions that’s between parents and children, sometimes, what happened was, more dramatic that the soap, more imaginative than those novels.

Remembered how we’d all gone to see that Japanese film, “My Accidental Father”?  the gynecology nurse envied someone else’s happiness, switched the two newborn infants up.  Six years later, the truth came out, how were these two families supposed to, cope with, this huge accident in their lives?

The two fathers, one was an elite excellent architect; the other, an electrician, who’s, easy going in nature.  Which one would best fit the children to be raised in?

“What if, this actually happened?”, my younger daughter became worried.

The way the movie worked out, it’s, gentle and understanding.  But in reality, the parent-child relationships, were based, off of the laws.  There are the adopted children and the blood-related children in the facets of the law.

“Children should follow the filial piety duties toward their parents.  As Civil Law 1084 stated.”  Dad recited it aloud.

“Second, parents should protect and educate the underage minors”, mommy added.

You want to match memories?  You’d forgotten to hold my hands first time we went out on a date, as we crossed that intersection; on our second date, you’d dozed off, started snoring; and, by the third date………………(deleted millions of characters here!)

Dad who was on his tea started choking on it, started coughing hard, and, escaped into the bathrooms.

“Mommy, there’s a sixteen-year-old daughter who’d sued her father, because he wouldn’t buy her a cell phone”, my older son thumbed through the online news.

“there are the fathers who’d sued their young for parental support, but the judge said the children didn’t need to pay it!”, my younger daughter discovered something as well.

Ahh, the stories mom heard and saw in court, last longer than the Arabian Nights!

There was a middle aged man who got in court and started crying on the stand, it’d made mommy want to lose it too.

“Mommy don’t cry”, my older son handed a tissue to me, “I thought only daddy can get you worked up, can’t imagine someone else had too!”, came my husband’s coughing from the bathroom again!

“what had happened?”, my children both got curious.

That middle aged man’s father left the family when he was a young child, it was his mother who’d raised him all on her own, him and his two other siblings, with only enough money for a rental stay, they kept switching in and out of their residences, forgot to go to the land offices to change their addresses.  The three siblings took out the student loans, and worked part-time, get themselves through school, and finally, this middle aged man had his own family, started raising his own young, finally, he was able to give his mother a good life.

But, the middle aged man’s father suddenly returned, Social Services notified this man to go and claim his own father’s dead body.

“What?”, my daughter covered up her ears, couldn’t dare hear the rest of the story.

His father who’d only shown up as a registered name on his national identification card, finished his final passage of life in a nursing home.  Before this, the Social Services sent multiple notices to his registered address, to let them know that they needed to pay for the owed fees of having his father placed, but they’d, already moved out, and through the searches, the Social Services finally found the three brothers and sister.  Based off of the law, there’s the obligation for care, so the nursing home demanded that they pay for the money for their father’s care.

“But this dad had never been responsible at all toward his own young!”, my older son became confused.

During the time when their father went missing, the family didn’t know to report him missing, while their mother never filed for divorce either, let alone the children never knew they could file a petition to “relieve themselves of caretaking duties toward their father”.

“If the fathers didn’t care for their children when they were young, then he can’t ask them to take care of him when he’s old, is that what this means?”, my son inquired.

“Hmmm, it’s called ‘Without just cause not providing for one’s own children’, Civil Law 1118 section 1.”  Dad finally showed up, replied, “every unfortunate family has a different bad story.”  From before, the former generations said raising the children so they don’t need to worry about their old age, and now it’s, taking of the elderly years, watching out for the young.

“So, do we save the allowance you give us and pay you back when you’re older?”, my daughter asked.

Nope!  Child.  It’s the parents’ responsibilities, AND obligations to raise their young, same for how the children treat their own parents.  This is not a sales or a trade-off, it’s not quid-pro-quo, tit-for-tat, nor trading the younger years, for that permanent meal ticket in old age.

But, we must admit, that in this world, there are, the unfitting parents, also, the bad children too.  If this middle aged man’s father was found of not providing for his children when they were younger in evidence, the law must agree too, at this time, forcing the children to act kind, wouldn’t be just, or right.

“But this sort of cases are post-date.  Meaning, that you must file a formal lawsuit with the courts, and after you’d won the case, then, you will be alleviated from paying for the care.”, dad got serious, answering the inquiries now.

So, the debts accumulated by this middle aged man before he died, for his care, the country believed that it’s paying for him temporarily, that in the end, this middle-aged man will pay for.

“But, what if you don’t have children?”, my younger daughter voiced her worries, she’d not planned to get married, or have any kids.

It’s, the million dollar question of elderly caretaking, and national social security, how the policies should be, set up all right!

Should the only reason for what constitutes as parents and children based only off of blood?  And, the social security, is it an act of kindness, or a responsibilities for all of us, citizens to carry?

“Mom, stop worrying, you’ll get more wrinkles!”, my older son reminded me kindly.

It’d hit dad suddenly, he’d suggested, “Today’s Father’s Day, let’s go offer incense to both your grandfathers, and tell them we’re all very happy together.”

And then?

“Let’s have a gourmet meal, to thank me, as a responsible dad, of course!!!”, dad said, with that, affirmative tone of voice.

And so, this, is a discussion that’s, sparked up by the kids, and the parents are more than willing, to help the children get more educated, with their separate areas of expertise, and through this conversation shared with their young, both the parents and the children benefitted.

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Legislature, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Elderly Book Club, Life After Retirement

A group of mutual friends, reading together, sharing their adventures of travels with each other, connecting regularly, establishing that social support during the elderly years, translated…

Awhile ago, due to the outbreak, our “Book & Coffee Book Club” stopped for three whole months, and, every one of us, members started, getting bored, the host, Bi who was responsible for the month of May started the LINE book club meets, and assigned “Long as the River” by the writer, Yin-Tai Long.  And so, those of us who’d bought the book, bought them, those of us who’d, borrowed the volume from the libraries, borrowed them, I was, especially nervous, past eighty, of this book club meet, the gathering online was supposed to start at ten, I sat in front of my desk at 9:30 that day.

Recalling back in May of 2016, we’d, begun this book club on an article from the UDN News, we’d, read a book a month, and shared our thoughts on it, the group of us, ladies had, taken turns, hosting these gatherings, and, split up the costs, but the sponsors were all willing and able to, provide the snacks, the drinks, the fruits, and this is, our book club’s, fifth year.  And, the reason why we’d, operated well is that we don’t, limited ourselves, to reading books only, other than reading, we also, included, the movies to watch together too, and to go to places that we’d read up on, and share our own findings, our thoughts, and our feelings of these journeys.  And every time these meetings were held, everybody got all dressed up, and gotten passionate in our discussions, while in the luncheons or afternoon teas afterwards, we’d, shared with each other, the goings on of our lives, and, in the chit-chat, the bond we’d established became, stronger as ever.

like this???查看來源圖片a small, intimate gathering, of friends who’d shared a hobby: the love of reading…photo from online

And, in over four years, we’d, read over twenty books together, what I remembered the most were Yin-Tai Long’s “Listen”, the director, Zhang’s “Knowing the Artifacts”, the traveling writer, Hsieh’s “Walking Down This Path to My Dreams”, Yen’s “Finding My Self on This Map of the World”, and “Shoe Dog” by Phil Knight.  A world in a book, it’d, allowed my group and I, to see what the writers experienced, and the wisdoms they acquired from their lives’ experiences, ahhhhhhhhhh!  Reading is, such, a wonderful thing.

Movies are also, an amazing thing too, what I remembered the most was “Me Before You”, and “Hidden Figures”.  The former was a romance, but the subject matter was euthanasia, it’d made us all cry; the latter was biographical, on three African American women who’d, made their great contributions to NASA, and we were, all in awe of them.  Because al of us, girlfriends used the public resources, the public digital libraries, the photo exhibits, along with the exhibition of Picasso, we’d not added to our knowledge, we also, stayed, young at heart.  Duan-Duan who’s an owner of a preschool provided us with the space, she was, the pillar of this book club of ours.

The most amazing, were the two girlfriends of our group, sharing their travels with us.  Huei-Huei went on a self-help thirty day trip to Central America, including Iguazu Falls and Easter Island; while Bi went from Western to Eastern U.S. for fifty days she’d trekked through the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Park, Niagara Falls, and New York, and on her way, she’d, visited a pen pal from the States.  As she’d shown us the footages she’d captured of the trip, it felt like we’d, gone to those places ourselves too.

illustration from UDN.com圖/喜花如

Time rolled by, it’d been, four years since the start of this, book club of ours, and we’re still, all here.  And, I hope that we all have, amazing stories to tell, and I hope, that we will, age, slowly too, to do right by the creed of the silvery gray community.  As I got lost in thought, my cell phone sounded off, time to log on, and thus, begin, our, online, book club meet!

And so, this, is how you age gracefully, by finding a group of friends who share the same or at least, similar interest, like for this group, they’d started with the books, and, extended to the movies, and, shared their travel adventures with each other, enriching one another’s lives, adding more color to their lives after the retirement.

 

 

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Connections, Life, Old Age, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization

Helping Someone in Need in Times of the Outbreak

Helping some random stranger in need out, in times of, the “plague” here, teaching a very important lesson to your own young here, translated…

Seeing that man who’d fallen down, with blood covering over his face, I’d, tightened my hands on my twins’ hands, and the hesitation, gone in a, split second, I’d, walked up quickly towards him………

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, the springtime sun shone just right, I’d, decided, to take my kids out to the Youth Parks, to see the turtles, to see how many squirrels we can spot, to throw the Frisbees, to let my children who’d been kept, indoors, in their boredom, to run and to, play a little.  They got tired of running, and we’d, walked to the local shops, planned to find something to eat, at this time, an elderly man not far from where I was, fell down.

First, he’d, lost his, foothold, then, fell hard to the ground, he’d, instinctively, tried to get back up, but, didn’t steady himself and, tripped, fell harder.  I’d, screamed loud, as the elderly man, barely, sat back up, as he’d, lifted his head towards me, I saw blood coming from his head, he’d, started, making sounds, that I couldn’t, quite understand.  Some of the passersby instinctively, dodged his way, there were even more people, who’d, just, stood by, and watched the elderly man bleeding, like they were, watching a street performer.

like this???  Photo from online

A father with a child, came up to the elderly man, handed him a tissue, signaled him to press it onto his head to stop the bleeding, I’d, had my children wait for me right where they were, rushed forward, and, dialed emergency, for the, very first time in my life.  On the other end of the line came, a steady and stable voice, other than having me make sure of the elderly man’s consciousness and his willingness, the individual also reminded me, to wear a mask, to protect myself.  I’d, subconsciously, pressed down on the edges of my surgical mask, to make sure that my face is, sealed underneath it, lifted my head toward my twins who were, about two meters away, and I’d be lying, if I say I wasn’t, the least bit, worried.

The ambulance rushed over shortly enough, after the call I’d made, and, in the basic first-aid measures being taken, the paramedics also checked the elder’s glucose and temperature— “he’s feverish!”, these words, made a ripple inside my mind, suddenly, the crowd that gathered had, vanished, I took out the alcohol I had to sanitize myself, and tried to remember if there were, any open wounds on either one of us when we’d interacted?

“Mommy, will the man get better?”, my daughter pulled on my shirt.  “Yes he will, because we both helped him out.”, I’d, squeezed my twins’ hands tightly, told them I was so proud of them.  Life may be fragile and unexpected, but I believe that humans are, innately, good, that we’re all, working, to make this world a better place, I hope that my twin daughters can, remember this very moment, that no matter what the circumstances, we should all, try to, help someone who’s in need out.  This unsettling time is, a test for human nature, and love, is the answer to all of these, trials of, all our lives.

And so, this, is quite, altruistic, because you saw someone in need, and, you’d, not thought twice, because the elderly man had fallen down, and was in need of assistance, and, you’d not allowed, the bystander effect, the diffusion of responsibility, to prevent you from helping the elderly man out, and, you’d, also show by example, to your twin young children, how important it was, to offer someone a helping hand too.

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Filed under Awareness, Helping Behaviors, Interactions Shared with the World, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, White Picket Fence

The Costlessness of Her Concerns

Showing that smallest amount of care and concern, to those around you, it just might, brighten their days, a whole lot, and you made yourselves, a new friend too!  Translated…

Remember when I’d first started working in the office, I felt tried, by the elderly woman who cleaned up the restrooms—she’d always, set foot into the slots the moment everybody stepped outside to check, if we weren’t, careful enough, then she’d, started, nagging at us.  And, because of how she took cleaning up the toilets so seriously, it’d made us, feel stressed when we go, we’d rather, go to an alternative floor for the restrooms, than to, bump into her.  And because, we’re all, very busy at work, that nobody ever stopped, to chat with the elderly woman who cleaned up the toilets, at first, when I’d started working, I’d wanted to, catch up to the fast-paced work environment, I’d, often, said the general greetings to her, then, rushed off too.

Later on, I’d discovered, that the elderly woman, other than keeping to her job, of, keeping the toilets clean, she’d sat down on that one chair outside the toilets, slid on her cell phone, to chase the soaps, or using the video-voice messaging, to talk to her young who doesn’t live close to her, and, on this, fast-paced, floor, she’d become, an odd sort of, a freezeframe.

Several short conversations I’d held with her, I’d become, acquainted with her, she’d treated me like a granddaughter too, shown me care and concerns, even showed me, how to wash my hands completely, before I leave the restrooms, without knowing, that I was, awarded, the champion of hand washing in my preschool years.  And I’d known, that her children and grandchildren had, immigrated to Germany a long time ago, that in her eighties, she lives alone, and there were, hints of, loneliness and loss, in her words.

After the lunch break that day, I brought two drinks back.  And, as I’d, handed one to her, she’d become confused and asked, “Why are you treating me to this?  I’d never, given you, anything!”, I’d smiled and replied, “it’s not necessary!  Grandma works very hard, I hope this drink will, keep you energetic and your spirits up for the rest of the day!” then, I saw that flower, bloomed, radiantly, on her face.

Think on it, the elderly woman, never actually, given anything physical to me, but, that sort of concern and care she’d, shown my daily, was way more precious, than any sort of materials.

And so, this, is how we can learn to, interact with one another more, but we often got trapped up too much in our selves, had all our heads, UP our own, separate asses, to ever realize, that someone else close by is feeling bad, loss, or whatever, and, because we failed, to notice that these individuals we come across from day to day are in need, we missed, the opportunities, to show our cares and concerns, and, lose the chances of, making that, important connection, and that’s, just, very sad, wouldn’t you say???

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Connections, Kindness Shown, Lessons, Life, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Story-Telling, Values

Their Home Got Broken Down by the Winds, Over Hundreds of Volunteers Came to Help with the Rebuilding of Their Homes

Goodwill, of the members of, the community here, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The rundown shack that the resident, Lee in Suao, Yilan couldn’t shelter him, his girlfriend had died, in the cold fronts last year, she was all that he had.  The New Taiwan Volunteer Group, in order, to not let the same things happen again, on the 21st, the volunteers had, built a house for him, so he could have a warm roof over his head.  There were, over hundreds of men and women who showed as volunteers, they’d all rolled up their sleeves, from all around Taiwan, pulled the money to get to the area, and, donated the materials, put up the money needed, for a house to get built out of their own pockets, this home that’s, made and filled with the love was built up, using two weekends, and it’s being, remodeled, and, by next Sunday, Lee could, move into it.

The sixty-four year-old man, Lee “Cheng” lived in poverty stricken means, the walls were falling down in his resistance, the roof leaked, it couldn’t, block out the wind or the rain, or the cold fronts that came.  “Cheng” had a girlfriend whom he’d, lived with, she was originally weakened by illness, and, as the cold fronts hit last November, their rundown shack couldn’t block out the cold weather, his girlfriend’s weakened body and couldn’t withstand the cold, she’d, passed away.

the “home” where Lee was living in

photo courtesy of the New Taiwan Volunteer Group from online

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before “Cheng’s” girlfriend had passed, the volunteer group noticed this case, and immediately wanted to offer assistance, only, that they’d lacked the funding then, and the foundation was, overseeing other worse off families, and couldn’t offer the assistance on time, but they’re, already, raising the funds for the house for “Cheng” back then.  And yet, they were, too late, the rundown shack that “Cheng” resided in broken down, and it was, demolished, he’d, camped out in the cargo container houses close by.

The volunteer group, in order to NOT allow for the tragedies to happen again, in the leadership of the C.E.O., Yo, they’d, raised about $550,000N.T.s, bought the construction materials, shipped it to Suao.  And, all the builders were, volunteers, the volunteers gathered at three in the morn in Taoyaun on the 21st, got on the car, arrived in Suao, and started the building process.  The volunteers first set up the steel structures of the frames of the home, and connected the electricity, made sure that there’s water running, before this Saturday, they’re, going to start the remodeling of the inside of the house, the setting up of the furniture, the appliances, by Sunday next week, they’re, to hand over the keys to the house to “Cheng”, so he could, move in.

“The volunteers helped build up the house, and, they’d, put up the traffic costs, the foods, as well as their own, insurances too!”, Yo told, the volunteers, in helping to build up the house, they’d not received a cent in money, they’d even, had to, pay for their stay, as well as their meals.  The charges for food is $100N.T. a day, the room and board, $200N.T.s a day, the insurances cost $50N.T. per day, the cost of transportation, $100N.T., for this two day one night volunteer work, the volunteers needed to pull $550 N.T. out from their own pockets per person.

The volunteers were assigned to various duties based off of their expertise, some saw the steel pipes, welding, connected the wires, digging up the drainage pipes, as the material shipped couldn’t get to the construction sites, all the volunteers, started lining up, like ants, carried the heavy steel, wooden boards, the iron shack roofs, even the already, welded frames.  Everybody rolled up her/his sleeves, put that work helmet on, and started, working; some of the female volunteers who worked in the office, who’d, never lifted anything heavy, they’d helped, carrying the steels, the roof boards, the eleven-year-old boy, also did his part, helping to make the building project happen.

 

查看來源圖片a project, like this???  Photo from online

And so, this, would be, the collective efforts, the kindness from all around the island, because this man needed a roof over his head, and he couldn’t, buy a property on his own, because he couldn’t make the money, so, this group of volunteer came, to help make him a home from scratch, and in the process of building, everybody took up a role, to make this wonderful house, built with love happen, to give this man, a safe place to stay, a roof, over his head.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, on the calming words of reassurance, offered to a young child, translated by me…

The Cloud Rocked Me in its Arms,

Hummed that Lullaby,

Don’t Worry Little Baby, Fret Not Little Baby

The Clouds are Light, the Wind Gentle, Everything Will be, All Right………

the artwork of Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com圖/幾米

We are all in need, of this sort of a reassurance right now, especially with this whole world currently going crazy, and, the safest place we can find is here, inside our minds, for in our own minds, we are, able to, live on freely, without any worries or fears!

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Filed under Because of Love, Childhood, Creative Writing, Kindness Shown, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Education of Children, Translated Work, Values

Why Had She, Married Me

I wonder, W-H-Y, is that, huh???  Translated…

MERS-CoV had, affected my moods.  But actually, it doesn’t matter where we all go on our family vacation, it’s dangerous all around.  Just like, for my dearly beloved wife and I, being married over twenty years, still very much in love, and this trip to Japan, we’d had, our equal shares of fights with each other.  We’d argued on the bigger matters of, should we wear those masks or not.  Which way to go, what to have for our suppers, just not that, it’s too pricey, and, as she’d gone into the shops, she’d always stated, “I’ll only be a minute!”

And, “how many articles of clothing we should bring for the kids?” this long debated over topic for instance.  My “he’s dressed too warm already, he’s turning eighteen soon”, and I still couldn’t win from, “Then, if he gets a fever and it’ll be your fault if we aren’t allowed on the flights tomorrow then!”  and I can, only use the advantage of how later on that day, as my wife shopped around, sweating all over, as if there are, nine suns shining inside the malls, asking my son in front of her, “Are you, cold?”, this sort of, a prickly language.  And my youngest was compliant, stated, “wow, you’re right dad, it’s, super, duper cold!”, and, his mother rolled her eyes, all the way around her head several times.

There are, still a ton of, repeated events, that occurred, outside of or within, our, awareness.  Like the heating packs.  I’d later discovered, that my child’s mother, took the ten packs that she went to Hokkaido with, when it wasn’t, that cold, packed it all back in, to the luggage to Kyoto again.  She’d, brought it along, like, a security blanket, whether it’s, actually, cold or not.

Just like, how we’d wanted something brand new on these trips, we’d wanted to, connected these streets and shops inside of, our memories, and finally, we’d, trekked through all the specialty stores of Kyoto in, three years, then, at four, we’d, bumped into a shop that’s, about to close for the day, to finally, sit ourselves down, for lunch.  As I sorted through the menu, ordered the foods, I feel my legs’ numbness, go all the way, into my brains.  My youngest son stated, “Mommy, you look like you’re, about, to cry from walking so long.’, a joke or sorts, and, it’d, accidentally, twisted open ALL the faucets available there in Kyoto.  His mother’s tears came overflowing outward.  And, my youngest and I stared at each other, felt like, it must’ve been, something that each other had done, to cause, all of this.

“Before the temple awhile ago, at Kiyomizu Buddhist Temple, I’d called out to you both, to take those masks off for the pictures,” she’d, sniffled and continued, “and, I’d called you two as our two sons…………”, then, she’d, finally, melted down.  Yeah, surely, this was, the very first trip we’d, taken, without, our, eldest son.

Just like, we needed a place to travel to, to help everybody get past something, through that long underpass shopping strip, to the train station in Osaka, we’d bumped into a kind girl, who’d, helped me wife load up on her bus pass.  As we’d found that the young woman was, also from Taiwan, my dearly beloved wife started, casting aside all of our, itineraries, and started that conversation with that young lady, and found she was here, for a work-vacation.  Then, she’d started, showing her cares and concerns of how the young woman’s mask wasn’t, thick enough, like it was, lined with, only, a thin piece of, gauze or something.  The young woman told her that she’d run all over the pharmacies, but, all the masks were, out.  Then, my dearly beloved wife suddenly, pulled out the medical-grade mask she’d prepared for this trip, a pack of FIVE!, placed it in the young woman’s hand.  After pushing it back repeatedly, this young woman finally, took it, this gift that’s, not bought or sold, along with the kindness, from a complete, stranger.

This made my goosebumps surfaced, and I’d, felt, mildly, proud of my wife too.  She’s, quite compassionate.  Just like, my losers friend told me, that’s why, she’d, married me.

And all of that led to your, final conclusion of, “that’s why she’d, married you!”, it’s because of how kind, how sympathetic, how empathetic your wife is in nature, that she’d, married you, and, you should be, blessed, to find a wife who’s, kindhearted like that too!

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Filed under Awareness, Because of Love, Expectations, Life, Marriages, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Romance, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Values

The Heart Behind Nailing in the Coffin, on Filial Relations

Out of respect, for the family who’d raised her, a final rite of passage here, translated…

One afternoon, the phone rang at my house, on the other end, came the voice of a woman, “Hello, youngest uncle!  Long time no see………” Wow, could it be, again?  The woman seemed to have felt my concerns, she’d immediately added, “Youngest uncle, I’m not a scammer, I’m………”, and the voice, it had, sounded, a whole lot like my niece all right.  “My mother’s in critical condition, since she fell ill, she’d been telling me, that after she passes, to ask you to help her ‘nail her coffin down.’”.

Then the past all came, rushing back to me, my eldest sister was adopted, I don’t have that many memories of her, by the time I was born, she was already, married away, or, maybe, I should say, she’d, eloped.  Back then, she wasn’t getting along with my eldest brother of twenty years senior, she’d fallen in love with a man in the factory she worked in, in those times, the neighbors, our relatives, families, and friend all chatted on and on, my father felt that he’d, lost face, and, claimed that she wasn’t, related to him anymore; and even so, as my eldest sister’s eldest daughter who was at the same age that I am, she’d taken her home to see our parents, and my parents no longer, felt angered anymore.  It’s just, that my eldest sister didn’t marry well, her husband didn’t take care of her family, and, she’d, insisted on not receiving any assistance from our parents, used her cooking skills, started a market food stand, raised her five young up.

The following day, I’d, immediately gone to the hospital to visit my eldest sister, being ill, she’d talked with happiness, on the parents who’d, raised her up, and, regretted how she didn’t, treat them with kindness, and recalled everything she experienced back at our home, in the end, she’d, asked me, to seal her coffin up with a nail symbolically, and naturally, I’d agreed to it.

A week later, my eldest sister passed on, and, in the funeral, my niece started crying, told me, “As you’d gone to see mom that day at the hospital, she was so happy, kept chiming on about how you’d agreed, to help seal up her coffin, how she finally, had a true family of origin…………”

“Sealing the coffins with nails” was originally something that was done for unwed women who’d died, having the male siblings of her own family to check to see if they’d been, abused to death, if there wasn’t sign of foul play, then, the male siblings would then, nail in the nails around the coffin, and this became a sort of a ritual out of courtesy of the deceased woman’s respect toward her own family of origin.  At this very moment, I’d, finally, come to understanding of why my eldest sister requested that I be the one, who’d, helped her complete, this most important ritual of her life that came after her death, this was, her deep love, her remembrances, of our, parents.

And so, this, is a ritual of the family, and the woman was adopted, and, she’d, married badly, and, despite how she’d, gone against her own adoptive parents’ wishes, they’d still, loved her wholeheartedly, and, accepted her back into the family, and, the niece asked the uncle to nail her own mother’s coffin, not just as a way of fulfilling her own mother’s, final wishes, but it was, a sign of respect the woman had for her own family which she was, raised in.

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Filed under Life, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life