Category Archives: Life

The Paradise Called Childhood, Lost…

The paradise called childhood, lost, and no matter how hard you’d tried, you will, NEVER get it back again.  The paradise called childhood, lost, for good, and, it’s, never found again, and, even as you’d, backtracked to what went wrong back then, there’s, still NO way of making up, for the loss of time you were supposed to have been, allotted, through childhood.

The paradise called childhood, lost, forever, and, it’s, never found, because, just like how Alice never dug herself back out, of that Rabbit Hole, after her head was, chopped off by the Queen of Hearts???  (I mean, how can you possibly still DIG your way out of a hole, IF you got your heads chopped off, right???  Think about it for a sec…).

like this abandoned Teddy by the side of the road???  Photo from online…

The paradise called childhood, lost, don’t know when I lost you, childhood, but, you’d been gone for so long now, and, even though, it’s, not at all normal, for a child like me, to live without a proper childhood, I had, forced myself to adapt, to growing up without you in my younger years…

The paradise called childhood, lost, and nobody knows how, it was here, just a short while ago, but, it’s not here now, perhaps, it fell through to the depth of that rabbit hole, and, never dug itself out, like Alice???

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Filed under Broken Promises, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

When You Tripped & Fell

The help from complete strangers, and, it’d made your life better, as well as the ones you’d helped out too, translated…

As you were growing up, when you’d, fallen carelessly, your parents who wanted you to have that smooth ride in life, in a panic, had always reminded you, to get back up on your own.  The parents of that era would always, pass along the wisdoms of life in every day, because the road to your future, you shall, walk by yourselves.

like this???查看來源圖片photo found online

In reality, before the years had given you that “label” of old, if you’d, tripped and fallen flat on your face in public, other than feeling embarrassed, before you feel the pains from your trip and fall, you can only, get back up in a hurry.  Once, I saw a woman, tripping by the tiles that were, uneven by the sidewalks, I’d rushed toward her to see if she needed any assistance, she’d gotten back up in a hurry, and stated, “I’m sorry”, this was, out of embarrassment, seeing how she was okay, I’d helped her pick up the purse that flew out of her hand, she’d told me thank you repeatedly, and left, I couldn’t help but mumbled to myself, “thank heavens she’s not injured!”

And I also, had more than my share of trips and fall, as I’d, begun to age.  Sometimes, I’d, gotten too distracted by all around me, not paid attention to where I was walking, then, tragedy came towad me, and, the best way I’d, handled the matter, to save myself from embarrassment was, to pick up my belongings, and made my escape from where I’d, tripped and fallen.  But, the years took their tolls, as I entered into the bottomhalf of my life, it seemed, that even if I wanted to, I’d, had a hard time.

At this time, I’m, physically weakened, my bodily functions started, not listening to my commands, and, even AS I’d paid attention to where I was going, there were, still, multiple dangers lurking all around me, and, there would be those moments of unexpected falls I had had.  Once, I was wearing a mask, my eyes were blocked from seeing well, plus, the skies didn’t have enough lifht, I couldn’t tell there were the uneven pavements, I’d, tripped and fallen too hard, my body fell, like I was, trying to slide onto a base in a baseball game, it hurt so bad I couldn’t get back up immediately, the young man who was sliding on his cell phone close by, was alerted my the huge crash I’d made, he’d turned his head, looked at me, I’d originally thought he was, going to come over, and give me a hand so I could, stand back up, but instead, he’d, focused his attention back, to his cell phone; being optimistic, I could, only make fun of myself, must be, that I looked, young, that was why he’d, felt he’d not needed to, lend me a helping hand.  And, as I’d, switched my mindside, the pains seemed to, fade away a bit, and, I got up, in one breath.

圖/Tai Perawith all those eyes watching, and NOBODY lending a helping hand, illustration from UDN.com

After this awful experience, as I met someone who was in a similar predicament, I’d emplored more empathy.  Once as I was rushing to my community college to class, on my way, I saw an elderly man, who was walking along the parking spots for the scooters, not saw the pavements, he’d fallen down hard.  A young woman who was coming towards him from the opposite direction and I were the first “witnesses”, other than exclaiming aoud, we’d rushed over to the elderly, to check if he was, okay.  I squatted down, used my umbrella, to shade the elderly man from the sun,, and picked up the shoe he’d lost to the side, attempted to help him put it back on, but he couldn’t, have enough strengths to, while another man standing to the side just, looked at us, with that cold stare; as the middle aged woman who’d just, parked her bicycle saw, she’d used her experience, and confirmed that the elderly had a fracture on his hips, that he needed to be taken to the hospital immediately; with his pains worsening, the elderly man finally agreed, to allow us to call for help on his behalf.  Back then, I’d, acted as the interim “commander”, had the helpful young lady dial up emergency, then, asked the middle age woman to help notify the elderly man’s families, while I’d tried to calm the man down, and had him recite the phone numbers of his loved ones, and, as he’d become, a bit confused by the numbers, he’d spoken to himself, “that sounded right…”, and thankfully, the number he’d given, was the correct one, and, as I’d used the phones to call up the elderly’s son, I handed the phone to him, so he could tell his son what had happened, so his families won’t mistake the call as a scam, at this time, the ambulace finally rushed over, and, the accident ended well, then, I’d, gotten back up, toward my community college, and, my steps became lighter, because I’d, helped someone in needx.

In the trips and falls we may all have in our lives, if there are someone who was willing to, help us out, give up a helping hand, helping us get back up, it will, give us all a boost, to keep on, moving forward in our lives; and, I’d much rather become the help that someone else needed, because the way of life is twisting and winding, and none of us would know when we will, need a helping hand ourselves, and, if we can all be a part of this cycle of kindness, we might be able to, reduce something tragic from happening all around us.

And so, this, is what you’d gained, from helping someone in need out, you’d, felt that you’d lent the elderly man a helping hand, and in helping out, your empathy was, activated, because you’d hoped that someone would be willing, to help you out when you get into a jam, besides, you’d had a previous bad experience when you’d needed the help, and the person around you, didn’t give a SHIT, and you don’t want anybody to tell helpless like you had that time.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Connections, Cost of Living, Helping Behaviors, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Lawmaker was Accused of Domestic Violence by His Girlfriend, He’d Found Himself an Attorney

A member of the legislation, accused of abuse by her/his partner, from the Front Page Sections, bad news, and the abuser IS a lawmaker too!!!  Translated…

The member of the legislative committee of the Executive Department, Tang was accused by his girlfriend last year for domestic violence, his girlfriend accused, that last May, they started arguing about the matter of pets, Tang bit her arm, and, got physically violent on her, injured her leg, yesterday, they’d trash-talked each other on FB, “Could it be that you’d taken what you saw in the legislative department home?”

The man, Tang and his office didn’t make any statement yesterday, the spokesperson of the Legislative Department, Kolas Yotaka stated, that Tang already hired an attorney for the matter, and everything will go accordingly to the judiciary process.

Based off of understanding, the girlfriend who was bitten by Tang took the injury examinations report she got from the hospital to the police to report the domestic violence she’d endured through with Tang, that last May, the two of them started fighting on matters relating to the dogs, and the fight got worse and worse, they’d started pulling at each other, Tang bit her arms, and pushed her down, she’d injured her foot because of his pushing her.

The girlfriend thought that that was all the fight was, but, Tang lost emotional control suddenly, ran to the lanai acting like he was about to take the leap; the girlfriend saw, took out her cell, started recording, then, as she recorded him, she’d gone up to pull him back down, to prevent him from attempting to commit suicide.

Tang’s girlfriend didn’t press charges immediately, until half a year ago, as the statutory period was almost up, did she go to the local substation to press charges against him; toward the police inquiries, she’d been, more than conservative, and only provided them with the documentations of her foot injuries and being bitten, and told the police what happened simply, and didn’t mention of prior incidents that may, or may not have happened from before.

Three days ago, Tang’s girlfriend stated on FB, “the legislator, Tang has NO say in my interpersonal relations.”; early yesterday morning, she’d posted, the violence came and went, “is this a representation of what’s happening in the legislature right now?”.

In an interview in November of 2016, as the very first cross-gender legislator, Tang said, that he’d been with his partner for over a decade, that they understood one another perfectly, “I feel like my destiny is intertwined with hers”; they live together, shared two dogs, seven cats, a total of nine “companion animals”.

And so, this, is a bad example, if what this woman accused her partner is true, and, the partner is a lawmaker too, and, if a member of the legislature couldn’t even follow the laws, how do we expect our country, run by these, law breaking lawmakers to run well?

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Bad Behaviors, Cost of Living, Current Events, Excuses, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Life, Messed Up Values, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, On the Wrong Side of the Law, Vicious Cycle, Violence in the Media

Raped, by the Silences…

We are raped, by the silences, because, we’re, afraid to tell anybody what had, happened to us, because, if we tell our truths, the outside world will only, ostracize us more, saying, that it’s our fault, that we shouldn’t have, behaved too provocatively in front of that man, that we were, just, asking for it, therefore, we’d, kept our silences.

what we were…picture found online…查看來源圖片

Raped, by the silences, we were, because, we’re, too afraid to talk, too afraid for our lives, as well as the lives of, those we loved and cared about, and, can’t even begin to imagine the shame they will feel, if our stories, busted out into the open!

Raped, by the silences, there’s, no way this will, ever come to an end, because, those predators are still, lurking, waiting, for their chances to, attack, and even though, we only come out, during the daytime, sometimes, it feels, like nights…

Raped, by the silences, we were, we were all, victims before, but, I’d, managed to, turn myself, into a god DAMN survivor here, I will, NEVER be quieted, be silenced again!!! what we are now…

what we have the potentials of becoming…picture found online

Raped, by the silences, there’s, nothing we can do, to change the past, change what’s already been done to us (and no, we NEVER enjoyed it!!!).  Raped, by the silences, no we don’t, keep our lips sealed, because what was shameful, wasn’t US, it was, what was, done to us!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Basic Human Rights, Being Exposed, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Lessons, Life, Overcoming Obstacles, Rapes, Sexual Assaults, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

What if, the Legalities of Your Marriages, Rests on Someone Like Me?

Uh, this is, what’s, up for “grabs” in the election coming up this weekend!

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone like me, and I just happen, to be a HOMOPHOBE (not that I am or anything like that!!!), and, what IF, the rest of the majority of the population in this country, ARE just like me, haters of homosexuals?  Then, you, who’s a homosexual, would be, totally, SCREWED!!!

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone else, other than the two of you, huh?  If you were, born a certain way, you should NOT be made, to PAY for it, that is, how you were born, it wasn’t, your fault, and yet, this voting session is, penalizing those who are, DIFFERENT, with an alternative, SEXUAL orientation, so, how’s that fair, huh?

I mean, I would HATE it, if someone tells ME who I can, or can not love, or marry!  After all, it’s, MY life, my choice, and NOBODY ELSE should have a say in it.

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone else?  Is that even fair?  And no, I’m still, NOT begging all of you, to vote for or against GAY rights, I’m merely, presenting a “case” here, think about it, if it were you, how would you feel, if someone tells you, who you can or can not fall in love with, huh???

But, I’m still, voting this Saturday, and guess which way I’m voting?  FOR HUMAN rights!  That’s, how I shall, always BE voting!!!

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Filed under Awareness, Basic Human Rights, Choices, Cost of Living, Gay Rights, Lessons, Life, Moral Responsibilities, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Nonconformity, Observations, Perspectives, Soup of the Day

Because You Don’t Want to Die Alone…

Because you don’t want to die alone, seeing how, nobody WANTS to be alone, when they’re, still alive, why would anybody want to die, all alone on her/his own?  Because you don’t want to die alone, you’d started, imposing your imminent death onto someone you knew from long ago, and that person, was the only one, that you’d known, who’d, come to, your beck and call.

And because s/he allows you to control her/him like that, you’d, started taking advantage of the fact of how s/he couldn’t, turn you down or away.  Unbeknownst, you’d, started, using manipulative ways, to control the other person.  Because you don’t want to die alone, but, you know what, EVERYBODY dies alone, nobody (not even G-O-D) can help you through the passage from life TO death!

Because you don’t want to die alone, such, a selfish motive, still, you’d, used it, as a VALID excuse, a form of, rationalization, of how and why people, should treat you kind, because you’re dying, therefore, you DESERVED to be shown, some extra kindness, right???  WRONG!!!

Because you don’t want to die alone, well, when I die, I’d much rather be, alone, on my own, and, someone will find me, a little while, AFTER I’m dead and gone, and follow everything I would’ve, specified, in my will, to handle MY final affairs…

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Bad Behaviors, Codependence, Excuses, Letting Go, Life, On Death & Dying

The Sensible & Rational Sides of a Marathon

A more “scientific approach” to running a marathon here, translated…

I can’t really run, but due to chance, I’d had a ton of friends who are, marathoners.

In order to experience this, I’d, entered into my very first, smaller scale, but beautiful marathon around the Sun Moon Lagoon, and I’d, signed up for the shortest distance, the “Fun Run”.  The group of us used brisk walking to replace the jogging; but I’d, still needed to train for it.查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online

On that day, I’d gone to train with a group of visually impaired runners to the riverside.  They’d used a rope, with knots tied on both ends, one end on the visually impaired runner, the other on the seeing volunteers, like the three-legged race, they’d moved forward together.  I’d, followed them closely behind, not long thereafter, there’s, this huge distance between me and them, and, before I knew it, they’d, vanished, into the distances.

I’d continued holding my own tempo, with the cold wind blowing across my forehead, sweating down, it’d felt, really, awkward.  There’s, almost no one else by the riverside pass, most of the times, it was, just me, and every now and then, a cyclist would, speed by me, and then, I was left, all alone.  Most of the time, what accompanied me was, this strong sense of, solitude.

And yet, for the visually impaired to run the marathons, wouldn’t it be……I’d, blurted out, “BORING to even think on it!”

“how can you be bored, by ‘thinking’ about it?” in a gathering, the topic of marathon, it’d, sparked up this debate for the two individuals on each end, they’d told me, a ton of imaginations they had of, marathons.

One of the accompanying runners started as an “intern”.  He’d followed a more experienced guide runner to run with the visually impaired.  On the way there, he was, led by the experienced guide, and on the way back, he’d, led.  He’d spoken, with that disbelief in his voice, “The experienced guide told me twenty kilometers’ worth of stories, and the whole path was only, twenty-one kilometers long, oh mine!”  Whatever she’d thought up of, she’d, told me, to her grandmother, to her childhood, to the flowers by the road, the weather, her job………and a turn, before us, there was, this pass, paved with the shades of the trees, and, she’d started, talking about, Mother Nature, what’s meant by “blue skies”, what’s a “green pasture”, what’s a “never-ending ocean”……she was able to, pull out that horizontal pass, and, through it, led the visually impaired runners onto a journey, like the runners aren’t there to run, but instead, to listen to a tale.

I was curious, why did she talk, incessantly?  Turns out, as the visually impaired runner started running, he’d started cramping, and the volunteer chose to tell the tales, to distract him from his own physical discomfort.  If he’d only told of what they’d encountered on the way, it would be, too boring, after all, ordinary people don’t run too fast, and the scenes, are almost, at a standstill; and this experienced accompanying runner, thought of how to get the visually impaired runner, to enjoy the run as he ran blind………so, this, is how fun running a marathon can be!

And yet, not all the visually impaired runners are, blessed enough, to have a companion runner who’s so full of facts to tell.  I’d recalled that many years ago, I’d, gone to chat with a visually impaired runner of an international marathon on this subject, he was very rational, so was his companion runner, he’d, described the marathons he ran as a “battery cell”.

He’d told me, that running a marathon, it’s, a test of how long the battery on you will last, and, you’d needed to, assigned the energies spent on the way effectively.  He’d made the examples, “If your battery is fully charged, the best case scenario is, you’re able to use it, to finish an entire marathon.  Like how it takes a hundred minutes to run a marathon, then, it would be best, if you’d, used one-percent energy per minute that you run!”  You can estimate conservatively, that you’d only needed fifty percent energy to get to the finishing lines; nor can you, overspent, like as you’re half way through, you’d, used up all your energies.  If you’d run faster, how much energy will be spent, if you run slower, how much energy it will, cost you, you’d needed to, recalculate the time needed constantly, add in your physical strengths, and combine it with the speed to which you’re, running with, and use the exact amount of time, to drain up all the energies you may have in you, to just make it, past the finishing lines………

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!  How much, this, represented life itself!

And so, from this, you can see, that running, is no longer just about exercising the body, you need to make the precise calculations, of how much energy it takes you, and, calculate, and factor in all the possible things that can happen on the roads, which is why running a marathon, is sort of an art, and a science!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Helping Behaviors, Inspirational Tales, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Lessons, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values