Pride Stood in the Way of Apology

Pride stood in the way of apology, as that, is how it goes usually!

Pride stood in the way of apology, don’t know why, but that HUGE rock just won’t budge, it can’t be moved, at all!

Pride stood in the way of apology, although I knew that I’d done wrong, and, I KNOW, that I should be crawling back to you, but, I’m just not, because of my own pride, and, I can already foresee, what this pride’ll get me: losing you, and yet, I still can’t quite reason with my pride here.

Pride stood in the way of apology, and, there’s NO way ‘round that, as I got too much pride, always had, and, I just won’t be the first one, to raise up that white flag, in this war called L-O-V-E!

Pride stood in the way of apology, and, pride will eventually, RUIN us, and, by then, it would be, too late, to take back our prides, because the love had ended, and pride was, the CULPRIT, in murdering this love of ours…

Pride stood in the way of apology, it’d become this HUGE and impenetrable wall, and, we are on either of its sides, screaming our lungs out at one another, but, neither one of us heard the words coming out of each other’s mouth.

The Father Who’d Called Using the Red Public Phone

Translated…

My father walked in the door, with a bad face, he’d kept that same expression, as my mother cussed him out, “We’re already very poor, and you’d squandered ALL your wages away at the whore house, and the bars?”

“Go, go, go, follow that DEADBEAT, no good father of yours out, see what he’d been doing?”  my mother, who’d working hard as a manual laborer, to keep the household of eight, must also track down her lazy husband, there’s NO way she’ll have anything nice to say, at age nine, I’d stealthily followed behind my father, feeling scared, passed through the dark and ghostly and haunted bamboo forests, my father stopped at the phone booth at the entrance of our village, placed a few coins in, and, the smiles started crawling up his face, that, was a kind of bliss I’d never seen at home.

If I could get on a time machine, I’d love to return to that day, get closer to my father, to see who he was talking to?  What are the difficulties in his life?  Because he’d lacked the money, he’d had to carry the bad name my mother gave to him, and, be disrespected by six of his kids, and getting sculpted, into a bad man, by my mother’s words daily.

And so, this, is a memory from the childhood years, the narrator saw how her parents fought like hell, and it surely must’ve affected her, and, she’d become a spy, by her mother’s orders, to keep an eye for her mother, on her father’s whereabouts.

The Dreams of the Time Machinese Stems from How Time Can’t Go Backwards

On the subject of time machines, which novel, movie, or comics came to mind?  I guess, it would be the H.G.Wells, the British writer’s “Time Machine”, nor would it be the three episode series of “Back to the Future”, but, the cartoon character, the mechanic cat, Doraemon.

Time machine is the first machine that Doraemon introduced to us, Doraemon rode it, to the main character’s bedroom, and, started, the never-ending adventures they share.  It’s also the only equipment that Doraemon didn’t need to take out from his bag of treasures, when he’d wanted to use it, just pull back the drawers.  If Doraemon is a collective of a collection of dreams, then, the Time Machine could be interpreted as the collective dreams.

The reason why this dream came about, stems from how time isn’t reversible.  The one-direction linear passage of time, and the traces that it’d left in us called fate.  We’d wanted to fight it, turn it around, or even, predict it, the fastest, the most straightforward way is change how time works.  From a religious point of view, this, may be why, the Gods won’t allow us to create a time machine yet.  Because with a time machine, humans then, can change their own fates, and, there would be NO boundaries between man and god.

Paved with Gold, Full of Potholes

Welcome, you’d arrived to TEMPTATION LANE!!!

This place is paved with gold, full of potholes, but, you’re too intrigued by those flash and the thrills, you failed, to realize that beneath the gold AND the glory, is actually something you’d wanted NOTHING to do with.

Paved with gold, full of potholes, that, is how sometime life gets, there’s NO doubt ‘bout it!  And, because there are a lot of SUCKERS out there, who still can’t GET a FUCKING clue, well, that, is why, there are, so many who’d fallen, as PREYS!

Paved with gold, full of potholes, that, is what this glorious life is, but, you can’t realize that, until it’s, way too late for you, to SAVE yourselves, and, because you can’t even save yourselves, G-O-D (spelled backwards is still: D-O-G, woof, woof!) won’t be able to save you too, because God help those who help themselves?  Hello, hello, hello?

Paved with gold, full of potholes, you’d fallen, you’d gotten drawn, into, this world, filled with the flashes AND the thrills, and still not realizing, that what you’d longed for, it actually BAD for you, and, just how STUPID can you get!

Two Rapists Out on Parole Escaped, Hsinchu, Taichung, on High Alert

Yeah, and, we’re, NO longer safe here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

It was, extremely rare, but, the sex offender out on parole, De-Yen Lin on the early morning of the 27^th this month had, managed, to destroy the electronic ankle bracelet and took it off himself, got away from his residence, the D.A. already put out an arrest warrant.  The news got out, that a sex offender on parole had broken loose, it’d made the women in Hsinchu and Taichung worry, they’d asked the courts, the D.A. to watch the sex offenders more carefully.

The Taichung D.A.s office manager, Xiao-Wen Chang said, that De-Yen Lin (age 49) twenty years ago, committed robbery and rape multiple times, was sentenced to life in prison, but because he’d shown signs of remorse and behaved well in prison, he’d gotten the chance of parole.  At the start of two years ago, Lin was indicted on charges of theft, and because he was a sex offender, he was forced, to have an electronic anklet on him.

On the early morning of the 27^th, the court appointed officer was watching the monitor, and found that Lin wasn’t at home, the D.A. immediately issued a warrant on his arrest, hoped, that he could turn himself in.

The Facebook Group, “Seeing the North of Hsinchu” two nights ago, posted the note: “a Released Rapist on the Loose, Women be Careful”, said, that the sex offender from northern Hsinchu, Lee severed the electronic anklet and ran off, it’d immediately gotten the online community’s attention, and the article was passed from one member of the online community to the next, and, that, was when the Hsinchu Police Department confirmed the statements.

Guo-Shen Lee (age 43) committed thirty-four cases of robbery back in 1992 in Tainan, and three of these cases involved the rapes of women, and he’d taken items such as Rolex watches from them, and was nicknamed that “Wolf of Rolex”, the following year, he was caught, and, from his first trial to his seventh appeal, the judges all gave him the death penalties, and, on the appeal of his ninth trial, the judge gave him life in prison, four years ago, he’d paroled out, and had the curfews of from nine at night to six the following morning, and he must have on, an electronic tracking anklet at all times.

Two years ago in June, Lee had sex with a hooker, and was sentenced to five months in prison for obstruction of societal values, and, he could not have his parole anymore.  The District Attorney’s Office received the notice of Lee’s parole getting taken away on January 5 this year, the very next day, Lee took off the electronic tracking anklet, and was on the run, on January 16^th, the District Attorney’s Office sent out an arrest warrant for Lee, but they didn’t tell the public that he was a sex offender.

Two nights ago, the Facebook group “Seeing Northern Hsinchu” posted photos of Lee, told the online community to keep an eye out for him, the police subprecinct from northern Hsinchu received so many calls from the public, asking if the source of the news was real.

Why didn’t the police department issue the notices of this sexual predator’s escape?  The police station said, that the arrest warrant issued by the District Attorney’s office is the same as letting the public know; the District Attorney’s Office in Hsinchu said, that if after four, five months from now, Lee is still not yet arrested, then, they would consider posting his name and photograph to the public.

And, by then, guess how many more ladies are gonna get raped and murdered?  Exactly, this, is NOT good way, to deal, how can you ask the public to feel safe and secure, if a sex predator is on the loose?  It’s the justice system’s way of covering up, and, finding ways, to dodge getting blamed for not being careful enough if you ask me!

Rainy Days

From a Chinese blog I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

The days of rain, made me feel like I’m molding up

In the boredom of my days, I’d only had books, to help me pass the time now

Oh, how I hope, I could, graduate sooner………

Don’t force me to do something I don’t want to do

There’s nothing wrong with me, not wanting to talk, not having an opinion on stuff

And, I’d much not wanted to get punished for it

You want me to pretend?  I simply, can’t

Being a good student constantly, it’s become, too tiresome to me now

And, my bad temper still didn’t just start yesterday either

So, this, sounds like a teen, wanting to be left alone, by all of her/his adult counterparts, but, you see, the adults, they just won’t leave you alone, and how is it that I know?  Oh yeah, I was once, a teen too, and this, is just the internal workings of someone who’s juggling life, as well as her studies, and, life, is not at all, easy, for the children in this day and age, so, STOP pushing them already!

Held Her Grudges Toward Her Ex-Boyfriends, She’d Committed Arson

Look how long, a woman can and will hold her grudges, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Wang, believed that she was unjustly dumped by her two former boyfriends, several times, in the depth of the nights, she’d broken the windows of their cars, and had committed arson, set their cars on fire, as a way, of taking revenge on them for dumping her; the victims suspected that Wang was responsible for their cars being set ablaze, they’d installed surveillance cameras, and the cameras captured Wang, dressing up as someone else, and setting their cars on fire.  The police arrested the mildly emotional and physically handicapped woman, she was very emotional, stressed, “I just felt uneven!”, that, was why she’d committed arson, on her former boyfriends’ cars, the D.A. asked the judge to allow for her incarceration based off of public endangerment, the judge allowed.

The police investigated and found, that Wang had been divorced for several years, a little over a decade ago, started dating a man named Tsai, three years ago after they broke up, she’d met Cheng, last year, she and Cheng broke up too, although, Wang is now, with her third boyfriend, however, she felt that she was abandoned by both of her previous exes, she felt that it was unfair.

This January, in the middle of the nights, Wang was suspected of breaking the windows of Tsai and Cheng’s sedans, and, they’d instinctively believed, that the incidents were related to Wang, but, they’d kept it quiet.  Late one night in March, Wang went to the parking lot across from the community where Tsai lived, set his truck on fire, then, went to Tsai’s resident, and, set the sedan and motorcycle that Tsai parked by the side of the road on fire too, the fire almost burned to the residential areas, the firefighters were able to make it to both spots, to prevent further damages.

Later on, Cheng had installed surveillance cameras where he lived, and at around two in the morning on May 12^th, he’d captured footage of how Wang rode her motorcycle to Cheng’s residence, she’d even gotten dressed up, with a big sombrero on, wearing rain boots, and, she’d managed, to wrap the headlights on her motorcycle up as well.

Wang broken Cheng’s car window, poured gasoline into the car, then, set the fire, but because the fire wasn’t big enough, she’d gone back, to set it ablaze one more time, and, the third time she’d lit it up, the fire got too out of control, she’d gotten burned herself.  Afterwards, Wang went to Tsai’s residence, set a motorcycle and his front doors on fire, the fire got to his living room, gladly, it was put out quickly, before anybody got hurt.

The police found that it was Wang, based off of the surveillance footage, made an arrest yesterday.

Tsai and Cheng refused to talk about their ex further, they’d both stated, “She doesn’t have any money, it’s no use to sue her anyway.”

Because this woman felt unjustly dumped, that, was why she’d taken revenge over her ex-boyfriends, and, maybe, she felt bad about herself, and just, projected her angers onto how the boyfriends had broken up with her, which was what caused her, to commit arson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just the Right Amount of Blessings

The ins and outs of life here, translated…

The five of us sisters, the money for the outings we head out on every week, other than being from our separate wages by the months, we’d welcomed those “donations” too; for instance, the amounts won from the receipts and from the lottos, my youngest sister who oversees the account hoped that we could all put more money in, but, for so many years, she’d not gotten the results she’d wanted to see, and, the God of Fortune just never seemed to want to give us, the sisters, some winnings in money.

The gatherings of us sisters, we’d not allowed people who don’t carry our last names, including our own young.  But, at last week’s gathering, there was, an odd guest, and, we’d welcomed her, unlike we normally wouldn’t.

Reasons being: my second youngest sister got reconnected with her middle school classmate from over forty years ago, the two of them had gone out to catch up and to eat lunch, and split the checks; after the bill was paid, my sister handed the receipt to her classmate, several months later, her classmate called her up in excitement, the receipt had won the prize for $10,000N.T., for matching the last six digits, after the taxes had been deducted, they each received almost $4,000N.T.s.  Her classmate had even taken a photo of the receipt, and texted it to my sister, to prove that she was, telling the truth.

This winning was hard to come by, my second sister was very happy, and donated her share of the winnings, into our community fund.  That day, the sisters went out, and, she’d taken the opportunity, to bring this old classmate who was honest along.  Although, $4,000N.T. is not that much, but, if her friend wanted to take it for herself, she could’ve easily done so, after all, she did, have the winning receipt, and my second younger sister was on the outside of all of it, not knowing, that the blessings were, coming closer.

My second youngest sister told me, that her friend had gotten commends for her honesty from when she was in middle school, and, after so many years, she’d still stayed true to her good values, it’s really rare.

Her classmate felt somewhat embarrassed, as we the sisters all commended her for her honesty, kept stating, that she was merely, doing her part, as a partner, that it’s not necessary, for us, to give her so much commend.  She’d stated, that if it were my second youngest who’d won, she was sure, that she’d done the same too.

“Aren’t you at all, hesitant?” I’d joked with her.  Her classmate said, in a serious manner, “Thankfully, we didn’t win the ten million dollar prize, otherwise, I would’ve had a ton of conflicts!”

So true, this gift from above, the just right about of blessings, not making my youngest sister’s classmate get caught up, in the battle of her own conscience, and, it’d given us a share, everybody’s happy that way.

This, is the truth of friendship, the person could’ve easily taken the money for herself, but she didn’t, because she’s honest in nature, and, because of her honesty, the family now sees her as one of their own.

Last Words

Translated…

Zeng Shen once said, “Before a Man Dies, His Words are Kind”.  In the decades of life, been sucked, into endless moments of guilt, of dirt, and, only in the moment when one is about to pass, one can finally, let it all go, and can finally, say the words of kindness that came from the heart, leaving behind, the last scent of beauty for this world.

And still, it isn’t so in the real world.  The elders wanted their offspring to inherit their “last wills”, and the children always wanted the inheritances instead, and so, the last will will always be debated on.  The children from the rich families would fight each other in court for the inheritances, get the paternity tests, that’s nothing new already.  Emperor Yong-Zhen from the Ching Dynasty, is still being debated on, with NO end to it.

In the detective novels, after the last wills are left, the cases start.  The assortment of the last wills, not only are they filled with mysteries, they’d also make people feel that strong “scent” of death.  The historic “Island to the Gates of Hell”, is probably the weirdest case of all: a soldier who’d returned home after the war, had gotten infected with something serious on his trip back, right before he’d passed, he’d told his comrade, Inugami, “if I couldn’t arrive home, to inherit my great inheritance, all three of my sisters will be murdered.”

But, this was still, a spoken well final words.  More than common were, the deceased was murdered out of the blue, and, before they’d died, they couldn’t mumble their words out, all they could do was, use their final strengths, grabbed onto something, even, using her/his blood, and wrote the illegible writings, to leave the hints as to who’d killed them.  Naturally, under these circumstances, there’s NO way that the person about to die can write legibly, “Mr. Police Man, my husband murdered me!”, and, even IF the deceased was able to write legibly, the handwritten words would have gotten destroyed by the murderer just the same.

“The Words Before Dying”, was like a signal that came out of the blue, the deceased couldn’t use the elaborate schemes to write out the final messages, nor could the person write for that long, the person can only use hints, to try to tell others about her/his murderer’s identity.  By the same token, the detectives must also have an active imagination, to piece together the crime scenes, and, to understand what the deceased was hinting at.

The British master, Charles Dickens also wrote a couple of detective stories, his final work, “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”, was only half way written, then, he’d died, of a stroke, in the end, nobody knows who the killer is (or rather, why the victim had gone missing).  In the end, a lot of writers, critics critiqued this halfway finished work, found an assortment of explanations, of them all, the British writer, Peter Rollins’s “The Case of the Missing Edwin Drood”, even had Sherlock Holmes, to sort out the case.

Every once in awhile, the Japanese writer, Yoshimura Tatsuya, died of stomach cancer in 2012.  The year before, he’d just planned to finish a series of a hundred volumes of “The Mysterious Creatures”, in the end, he was only able to complete three volumes before his death.  On the day he’d died, there was an obituary written by himself on his official website: “Hi everybody, thank you for supporting my work.  It’s really suddenly, that I actually died this time.  And, the identity of QAZ, and the truth of “The Mysterious Creatures”, after I’d had my funeral, there would be a more detailed notice later on.”

Yes, I must remember, that as a detective story writer, telling my readers who the killer is in my final work, is the most important part of my last will.  And, if the onset of death is sudden, then, you MUST “leave a final message before your time”.

And so, this, is the matter of life and death, the last wills, the final words, from a detective novelists’ perspective, and, you don’t know when your time is up, and, there’s NO way of preparing for it before hand, all you can do, is to make sure, that you do everything you’re supposed to every single day, and the rest, there’s NO way you can make sure!

Left You, for Good This Time

Left you, for good this time, and, I’m NEVER, looking BACK again, as in EVER!

Left you, for good this time, and I’d ended this god DAMN vicious cycle of constantly being ABUSED by you, I’d hardened up my heart here.

Left you, for good this time, I will NEVER go soft again, so, no matter how BIG those crocodile tears, rolling down your cheeks are, they won’t have an effect on me again.  Left you, for good this time, and, I’m better off for it too.

Left you, for good this time, I will NEVER go back, to that state of mind, OR state of being, of constantly living in FEAR, allowing you, to control me the way I’d done from before.

Left you, for good this time, and, there’s nothing you can say, OR do, to change my god DAMN mind, I’d done with you!  Left you, for good this time, and here, was how I’d done it: torn off that REARVIEW mirror, turn the radio up, full blast, to DROWN out that sound of goodbye, and, HIT the gas pedal, putting the pedal, TO the metal!