Category Archives: Interpersonal Relations

Articles of interpersonal relationships, either created by me, or found in the papers, or other media

The Frontline Workers Interacting with the Customers Often Treated as the Scapegoats, the Service Industries Really Need to Reconsider the Beliefs of “the Customers are Always Right”

The customers aren’t, ALWAYS right, because, we all had, encountered, MORE than, our shares of, unreasonable, customers, right???  Am I right, (everybody, high-five me!!!), off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

In a local grocery store in Minnesota, recently, there was a man in his sixties, who’d wanted to buy the Campbell imported cheeses.  He was at home, staying out of the outbreaks for too long, and, it was a rare occasion that he’d made it out for a shopping trip, he’d gone around the grocery store, didn’t find it, had the store clerks look for it, which the store clerks didn’t find; and he’d, demanded that the clerk go to the warehouse to see if there are any, and, the store clerk checked for the stock on the computer in the storage, none.  Then, the customer raged out of control, started making a huge scene.  This was, the frequent encounters of the employees of the service industries in the past two years in the U.S., the consumers had become, more and more, difficult to handle by the days.

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“I want to see your manager!”…photo from online

The store clerk, Loona told of the experience, that the atmosphere at the grocery shop was anger, confusion, and fear.  She’d believed, that as everybody watched the man go off, people must be thinking, that the outrage the man was acting out on, probably, had, NOTHING to do with the imported cheese.

What’s before us, is, a weird era, with the outbreaks continuing on.  As people are in the shops, on the airplanes, and talking with the customers’ service reps, there were the outbursts of angers from the consumers: “I want to speak with your manager”.

And, these maliciousness made the owners of the business rethink the prime principle of “the customers are always right!” in the service industries.  If those working in the service industries have to play the role of calming therapists to the customers, then, their superiors, managers, became the bodyguards who must, keep the safety and wellbeing of their, workers.  And, every single time, as these “bodyguards” showed up, they should not tell the workers, “you’re fired”, instead, to the customers, “you are on the blacklist, don’t come here again!”

what the modern day consumers got, spoiled into

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and no, this is still, NOT, C-U-T-E!!! Photo from online

But yeah, that’s never going to happen, because, we all want our businesses to be flourishing, don’t we?  And so, even IF the consumers are acting up and out, for unjustified reasons, we can’t do anything about it, we can only, blame those cashers, store clerks, for not calming their customers down, after all, this is an industry where, we are, solely, reliant on our customers happiness, their satisfactions at our shops, to make a living, as for the rights, the wellbeing of those workers hired by our companies, yeah, let them deal with it on their own.

And so, this, is still, how messed up, the values are, and it’s all because, of how the businesses are, spoiling the consumers, rotten, telling them, that they’re, ALWAYS, right, when they’re, not!

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Filed under Abuse, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Messed Up Values, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Spoiled Rotten

The Most Beautiful Encounter on that Trip

The kindness of these strangers, of how they’re, all willing, to do everything they could, to help this woman, find back her misplaced cell phone that she’d left in a restroom, translated…

Upon thumbing across “Traveling is Meeting up with Something Interesting”, I’d recalled of the heartwarming story of the trip my daughter and I took a few years back.  That was a group tour to the middle strips, a one-day trip, we’d come to the Taichung Opera House as scheduled.  The opera house was beautiful, left us all in awe, but we were only allowed half an hour there, then, we’re to, rush to another location for lunch.  After the tour, as we settled ourselves in the tour bus, my daughter who sat in the back, came towards me, in a trembling voice, she’d told me, “mom, I’d left my cell phone on the second floor restrooms of the opera house.”, then, rushed off the tour bus, waited until I’d gotten it, I’d apologized to the tour guide, as well as the rest of the tour group, asked them to wait, so we can find the cell phone that my daughter had left by accident.

My daughter and I rushed toward the second-floor restrooms, but, the cell phone she’d placed on the counter was, already, gone.  She’d started crying, in a, close-to-howling voice, “gone!  Gone!  It’s, gone!  Someone took it!”, that was from her hard work in part-timing, saving up the money for, watching her in her sorrows, I’d not wanted to, blame her for her, carelessness, seeing how her heart was breaking, mine was too.  Neither one of us was giving up, so we’d, gone through every stall to look again, and then, we’d gone to the counter, to report that she’d, left her cell phone, hoping that someone had picked it up, and return it back to us.

On the bus, my daughter kept crying, and everybody came to console with her, and given her a ton of advices, for instance, go to the police station to report her cellphone missing, to the telecommunications company, to stop the use, and there were others on the bus who’d told us, to have faith, that the cell phone my daughter lost, will be returned back to her soon, that we shouldn’t, fret over it too hard.  At lunch, my daughter naturally, lost, all her appetite, and, those who sat at the table all consoled with her, and put the foods into her bowl and plate for her, but, the torus of the rest of that afternoon, we were both, troubled, and, just, couldn’t enjoy it.

There were, a total of eight tour buses of the tour we were on, there was a woman who saw how heartbroken my daughter was, she’d gone, bus-by-bus, talked to the tour leaders on the various buses, the drivers, to help see if they can track my daughter’s phone back to her.  As we are, on the ride on the way back home, the guide of our bus picked up the mic, and, delivered the good news: my daughter’s phone was, discovered!  It was someone from another tour bus who’d, found it.  Then suddenly, everybody on our bus started, applauding, my mother who’s sitting on the back patted her chest, kept saying, “So happy!  I’m so very, happy!  Seeing how the young one cried, my heart was wrenching!”, ahhhhhhhh, so, my daughter’s upset for misplacing her cell phone had, impacted everybody’s else’s emotions on the bus too.

There was that unspoken gratitude toward everybody, both my daughter and I started getting red in the eyes, what we’re moved by, wasn’t how the lost cell phone had been found, but also, of how these kind people we’d met, helped comforted her too, that was, the best encounter of this trip.  While, that woman who’d, led the tour of our particular bus, who’d gone bus by bus, to ask if someone from the other buses had picked up my daughter’s lost phone, lives in an alley adjacent to my home, and we’d become, best of friends too.

And so, this, is the kindness from strangers whom you just met on a tour, and, because you are sharing the same tours, that’s why, it’d, made you all connected, to the young woman who’d lost her cell phone, and the rest of the group started, actively asking around, and found the woman’s misplaced phone for her, this also showed, how help can come from strangers whom you only met.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Magical “Hand Outs”

Uh, do you have???  Yep, that’s, exactly what I needed, thanks!  How the friends and those the family know are more than willing, to help out here!  Translated…

“Mommy, can you get me the hat of ‘Agent P’?  I’m supposed to play Terry the platypus in the choir competition at school…………”, my daughter drew out the designs, as she’d asked me.

From her preschool years, on Halloween, the storytelling contests, the carnivals at school, Christmas, whether it be the young magical witch, princess, or duck, black cat, to the wind coat with the Christmas ornaments all over it…………everything she thought up of, I’d, used the spending NO money on it rule, either borrowed the items, or made it myself for her.  The do-it-yourself wasn’t hard at all, the hard was when there are the items we can’t, produce, and had to, rely on the “social network supports” or the “hand-outs community” to get!

There was my daughter’s first or second year in elementary when she was supposed to dress up as a princess to make her appearances, needed a fluffy dress, having just underwent the trials of getting her dressed up for the preschool graduation in that dress, we’d known, that that flower girl dress we’d rented and borrowed would be way too small in size for her, so we’d, called out for help on the social networks, a good friend saw, that she has the article available, and immediately, mailed it to us, saved the day.

illustration from UDN.com

神奇伸手牌。圖/Sonia

Another time, in her third-grade year, she’d entered into the interscholastic storytelling competitions, she was telling the story of the Chinese folktale of “Foolish Son-in-Law” there was a scene where the man saw a duck swimming across the rivers.  “if there’s a duck right here, it would be wonderful!”, she’d stated.  And, I’d, called for hands online, a friend had the rubber ducks on display in his toy shop, which fitted to my daughter’s requirements completely, the “hand-out method” got us out of trouble again.

And, as my daughter got into high school, I can’t believe that this sort of an inquiry surfaced, “Who was the hat of Agent P at home?”, I’d asked around on my classmates’ group, and, immediately, someone from it, raised his hand, many a year ago, as he went abroad, he’d bought a western cowboy’s hat, he’d never worn it, it still had the labels, on, and many years later, it helped us.  As I drove to my classmate’s to retrieve the hat, she’d given me some food to share, and, we reconnected, because I needed to borrow that cowboy’s hat from her, we were so happy that we were then, reconnected.

Every time the items were, returned back to their original owners, my daughter would be so thoughtful, sent the snacks she’d made herself, with a handmade card, thanking the uncles and aunts who’d, helped her out, “the handouts methods” saved the days for us, and, our friendships were, even tighter in the process of borrowing the items too.

And so, this is the embodiment of, “ask, and ye shall, receive!”, and you can imagine, how things are exchanged between the people in this, of how there must be the amicable relationships, interactions that’s already been, established, that when this young person needed the items, all her mother had to do was, ask around, and, voila, someone from the social networks sent the item to the family to use, and the family who’d received the items, showed the same kind of help, of kindness in return, to those who’d, offered to help them out.  That, is how relating to one another should be, give and take!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

More than Twenty-Percent of Children & Adolescents Believe They’d Been Cyberbullied

How social networks became, a new source of, anxiety for these, members of the, younger generations, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

As the outbreaks slowed down, this semester, many school had started holding the classroom sessions, but the masks are still, a needed tool to prevent the spread of the virus across the school campuses.  Now, it’d been two months since the start of the school year, the masks had, blocked off the saliva, and it’d also, blocked off the interactions of children with their own, peers, some of the first year students hadn’t even seen their classmates’ faces, and can only “show their faces” on social media.  But, the children are even more worried over how they are looked upon on social media, and this became, a brand new source of their, anxiety, to even making them the victims of cyberbullying.

The outbreaks not only caused the graduation trips to get canceled, the graduation ceremonies, the first day of school all happened via webcam, that “sense of ritual”, gone, and a lot of the students sighed “there’s no beginning, or an end!”

With the slowing down of the epidemic here, the schools from all around the country started the physical classroom sessions.  But, entering into a brand new semester, in the past, to get to know the classroom classmates, there would be the name tags on the desks, and, by a week at most, everybody knew everybody, and now, all the students’ faces are covered with the masks, and, even though at meal time, they’re allowed to take their masks off, they had to eat with the plastic separators between one another, and, a lot of the students just, left their names on their desks, and even now, the students couldn’t call one another by each other’s right names, to the point of the teachers, miscalling the names of the students too.

A middle school principal told, that there’s no first-year student orientation this year, that there’s no morning school gatherings this semester, the students are “slower to warm up”, and, even as the instructors told the jokes, because they can’t see the facial expressions, the students normally, don’t react, and there’s, just, not enough of that warmth of exchanges that we used to get with each other.

like this??? from online

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And even though, almost all the students had a cell phone each, and the internet broke the barriers of interactions, a lot of the students, before school started, got together on the social media, to meet up as school resumed.  But, the therapist, Tseng told, that the children become, ever the more anxious on if they’re noticed on social media now, and this new trend may become a new source of their, anxieties, affecting the children’s level of self-confidence.

The Children’s Welfare League did a survey and found, that due to the outbreaks, the children and adolescents log online for an average of 42.7 hours per week, almost doubled from last year’s 27.2 hour.  But, more than twenty-percent of children and adolescent believed, that they’d been cyberbullied, with the primary way of bullying being “getting named by someone or attacked by someone for no reasons at all”, and there were only, twenty-two percent who would tell the adults, there are at least, twelve-percent that wouldn’t find help from anyone.  The Department of Education listed cyberbullying as a form of bullying in school last year.

Pai, the C.E.O. of Child Welfare League advised students on three things, she’d said, admit and accept, that you just can’t get along with everybody; and, you can use the app or the cell phone systems, to keep track of your own personal usage means of social media, to control the time spent; if you encountered something that’s negative that’s affecting you, then, you need to learn to view yourselves, using an unjudgmental way, to calm yourselves down, so you can, deal with the many challenges that life may bring.

Yeah, that, is another, downside to this outbreak, because everything is online, and, there will be, more cases of cyberbullying too, and, cyberbullying is really hard to prevent, because, you don’t know what you may have said, or posted online, that might get misinterpreted by another.

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Filed under Cyber-Bullying, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Problems of the Teenage Years, Properties of Life, The Teenage Years, Violence in Schools

My Son Cypress

A heart of gold, of kindness, that’s quite, gentle, is what this young lad still have to this, very day, it’s truly, rare!  Translated…

My son turned twenty this year, he’s good looking, tall and handsome, but in his coming of age, the two of us, mother and son, had, more than our shares of, trials.

the heart of gold of this young child…

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sculpture found online

He’d been active, with a very soft heart, and, there were, the interesting things that happened with him from when he was a very young child.  In his first grade year, one time as I’d picked him up from school, halfway home, he’d asked me to park the car, I’d parked by the side, he’d hugged his backpack tight, leapt out, I’d quickly followed behind him.  He held that serious face, with a light frown, told me, “mom, I have, so many, presents for you!”, before I could react, he’d, lifted open his backpack, and, so many grasshoppers came out!  He then flew into a panic, and, tried to grab them all and put them back into his backpack, in the sunset, the sight of a young child, chasing after the grasshoppers, is such a moving scene, I couldn’t help but laughed, and he’d, burst out laughing too.

Once, in a carnival hosted by his school, I’d given him a hundred dollars, he’d happily, mingled into the crowd, and vanished.  A little over two hours later, he’d come back, handed me six hundred dollars, I was shocked and asked him where he got the money from?  He’d told me that he saw someone, selling a huge stack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, for a hundred dollars, after he bought it, everybody wanted some, so he’d only, kept a few, and, given them to his best friends, the rest, he’d sold for ten dollars apiece to others; he’d made some cash, and went back to the man, bought another stack; and started, selling them for twenty dollars apiece to the children passing by.  I was too shocked!  Is this, from the retail thought systems?  Could I have, birthed out, a young Buffett?

There was one more time, we’d gone to Yilan to visit, outside the B&B, there was a pond owned by the place, for the visitors to fish, we’d borrowed the fishing poles, and started our very first fishing try, we’d waited for a long, long time, the rod started moving, and, we both, had fish biting at the same time, as I’d pulled mine up, in his younger sister’s screams, he’d, pulled up his, very first, catch too.  He was ecstatic, as I was trying to unhook my fish, I’d heard his screams of ecstasy turn into wailing, he’d cried out loud, “ouch!  Ouch!  It’s bleeding!”, I’d turned to look at him, he was crying like crazy, and I suddenly understood it, quickly, I’d, unhooked his fish, and, released it back to the pond, then, he’d slowly, calmed back down.  In the night, watching him sleep, I’d thought, how soft this child’s heart must be, reminding us, of that gentleness we’d, already, forgotten that existed.

Into middle school, the heavy course load came down on him, he couldn’t fight it, and found his escape in the cell phone games, and, built up that tall wall to block us all away.  In a heated argument, I grabbed his phone from him, and he’d run out of the house, left, “I’m so unlucky!  Being born into this sort of a family!”  in the middle of the nights, I ran out after him, started crying, he’d heard me calling him, he’d, stopped, turned around, and, it’s still, his soft heart that’s, saved this family, from crumbling down.

After high school, life became more colorful for him, in the school play, he’d gotten that male lead part.  After long rehearsals, finally came the day he was going to perform, I sat in the audience, watched him radiating onstage, I was, so proud of him.

and he’d, grown up..

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into a well-adapted, kind young man…photo from online

Looking back, all the way, he’d stumbled, bumped around, with the big and small injuries, but, he always, wears that smile like the warm sunshine on his face.

And so, it’s this kid’s nature, how soft a heart he has when he was younger, and, he’d, grown up, with his, soft heart still intact, with is, quite rare, because, normally, people lose that heart of gold, as they age, because of what they’d, been through, but this young man, still kept his heart of gold.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Balloons of, Goodwill

Noting and knowing what you wrote, that got printed, touched a reader’s heart, that was, enough for you, as a writer!  Translated…

As a person who works with words, I’d been writing, for decades to date, and, I’d been, submitting my articles to the papers for over a quarter of a century to date.  Like the sediments accumulated in the riverbanks, left behind, the pages of my, drafting papers too, and I’d recalled what a writer once said to me, she didn’t know where her readers are.

It’s also these couple of years, I’d met some new friends on FB, they’d read my book, I can see what they looked like too, knew the goings on of their lives, but, through the responses forwarded to me from the papers by my readers, there were, only, two.  (both were sent to me by the editor of the Family subsection)  One was an email, the other, a handwritten letter, with the postage stamps on the envelope, passing through the back counters of a post office, separated, along with the mail carrier’s sweat, and finally, arrived, at the editor’s office.

What was odd was, included, was a pack of black beans, and Mexican primrose-willow, for my cats.  The woman was Ms. Liu, at a time in her life, she’d read my articles which I’d written on my cats, knew that my cats started urinating blood out, recalled how her own old cat once had kidney disease too, and from someone else, she learned that drinking the water from black beans and Mexican primrose-willow can help that it could heal, and it actually, did, for her cat, and ever since, she’d, tried helping the cat owners she’d come across with such a problem.

In her letter, not only did she introduced the origins, the sources of the herbs, and described in close detail how the items should be cooked, how to keep it, how to feed it to my cat.  The words were so genuine, as I read, I saw her heart of, compassion, leapt onto the pages, alive, and warm.

But unfortunate, I was living in the U.S. then, and got the article printed out on the papers after my cat had died, and so, I’d, not made used of that pack of remedies.  The editor of the subsection of the papers sent a photo of that package of medication to me, asked me how I wanted to reply back?  I’d thought for a night, saw that there was a phone number listed, I’d decided to call to say thanks, and, if the individual refused to take my call for any reason, then, I can only, write my thank-you note to the editor of the paper’s subsection, and have him pass it along.

like, this???

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photo from online

Ring~~~!, the following day, I’d gotten the phone going, then, about to talk to a strange reader, I’d felt, a bit, nervous.  The call was, picked up, “hello!”, it was a woman, with a full-volume of voice, I’d quickly stated my name, and told her why I’d called, and, worried she might thought that I was a scam artist.  And immediately, she’d, believed me, and, I’d, asked her permissions to allow the editor to give the remedies to someone else in need, which she’d, gladly, agreed.  An overseas call, a short conversation, and yet, the balloons of goodwill, started, soaring high, underneath, that sunny sky then.

This time, I’d known since I was younger, that I was going to, be a person who makes a living off of my words, and finally, I’d, become, just that too.  with the blood of a word cooker, word lover inside of my veins.  And although, I’d become stagnant, and caught dead, in the solitude of the literary, but quickly enough I’d discovered, that so long as I can still breathe, my feelings are still, flowing, the words shall, never die in me.  As for the readers, I’d come to believe, that the readers are, quiet, and, maybe, they’re, outside of the realms of the kudos I’d received.  Just as I’m also, a silent, unknown reader, to another’s, work too.

The internet is a brand new world within the world, a poem, an essay, a novel, met and mingled in the vast oceans of various medium, sinking, floating, drowning, dying, or, stand out among the rest.  Whether or not I’m noted, I know, that the only thing staying with me, would be, the words.

Then, I shall, keep on, writing then.  Yeah, the final line of my favorite novel stated it that way: writing, the journey, continues on.

And so, this is through the interactions with your readers, and knowing, how what you wrote gained a response, from that, certain someone else, you KNOW that your writings had, had an affect in someone else’s life, made her/him, response, and it didn’t matter if you’re an acclaimed author, with the books published or not, you’d, become, fulfilled, knowing, that what you wrote had, had an effect, on someone else’s, life.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Writing

My Neighbor’s Son Had Been Drafted to Afghanistan, the Neighbor in the U.S. Asked Me to Ask the Temples to Bless Him…

When the world is, completely, unsettled, you got, NO other options, but become, more superstitious!  From the Neurology Professor’s interaction with her neighbors from the U.S., on evolution, and what drives human, behaviors, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

A neighbor from when I lived in the States suddenly called me up, asked me to go to the temples to ask for blessings for her own son, said that her son is serving in Afghanistan, that she’s on edge all day long, and the news of Biden’s ordering the withdraw of the armed services came, there was a suicide bombing.  She worried that her son may be the last man who died in Afghanistan, in her anxiousness, she’d recalled of the stories of the lunar calendar July’s passing of the spirits, how the spirits are looking for someone to replace them, and begged me, no matter what, to help her, because, begging for blessings, you get it, she wanted her son to return home safely.

As I got off the phones with her, I’d felt, a mixture of emotions, an American mother who’d gone to the U.S. with her own families to immigrate, for the sake of her own child now, found my number, and asked this of me.  Ahhh!  All parents are, alike.

I don’t understand why humans go to war?  The wars bring destruction to civilizations, causing the people to suffer, during the war in Syria, that little boy who’d died on the beach shocked the whole world, too unforgettable.  I’m sure that all of the people, as we thought about, how we may lose someone we love in war, we wouldn’t, go and start a war.  Then, why are there, so many wars currently going on right now?

The professor of Rockefeller University, Donald Pfaff’s sought out the reason of why we’re a warring species from the evolutional neurological, angle, “The Neuroscience of Fair Play” pointed out, that there are the two opposing forces of good and evil at play in our mind, balancing out our behaviors.  There’s this, “golden rule” that we all have, a moral restraint of sorts.  For all man, there’s that sense of fear, the drive to attack.  As there’s enough resources to live, it’s easier for the good side of man to come out, and once the times got bad, in times of famine, the evil side takes us over.

This is an inborn rule, logged into our genetics, he’d given an example of New York subway: an African American while waiting for the trains, saw a white man fall onto the tracks, and immediately leapt down to save him, back then the train is already speeding into station, he couldn’t climb back onto the platform, and can only cover the man over him, that the train sped past them three inches over.  As the press reporter asked him how he could’ve been so brave, to save a complete stranger, he’d told, that he’d not had the time to think, because if he’d thought about the consequences of his own actions, he wouldn’t have leapt onto the tracks then.

This behavior of altruism showed that human nature is kind, that helping to right the wrongs, is wired into our genes.  There was the instance of a fisher, Lin here in Yeliou who saw a student fell into the oceans and drowning, who’d leapt into the oceans to save him, and ended up drowning to death.

These two forces of good and evil, are both, evolved to help us survive, the animals fight to stay alive, for the mating rights, but on the other side of it, being kind to others, we can, increase our chances of survival, to help each other out.  Mostly, the powers of kindness is greater, animals show sympathy too; if a monkey reaches for the raising will cause the monkey in its neighboring cage to get electric shocks, then the monkey would not reach for the raisins, even if it hadn’t eaten anything for twenty-four hours and is hungry.  But in the years of famine, humans would, risk it all.  Three hungry chimps, as they saw a chimp out on its own, would circle the solitary, and the third chimp would attack, killing it, and, the three chimp would share the dead, especially when there’s a female who’s pregnant, and in desperate need of proteins.

So, how to balance out the good and the evil in people, it’s what we need to work on, to maintain the peace in the world.  Casting aside the hormonal effects in our brains, the differences of humans and animals is in education, education can help us surpass the primitive instincts, to elevate the selfishness, and aggression, to diminish the evils of greed.  If the government of Afghanistan can not be so corrupt, to spend the money on building up the hospitals, the schools, to help the people live better, then, the Taliban couldn’t break through it so easily, taking over the country, making the American armed forces, escape in a hurry.

So, this is on how evolution drives us to survive, and we’re all, animals, fighting for our survival here, and when there’s enough resources we will show more cares and concerns for others not related to us, but when the resources are reduced, when we can’t even, keep our own stomachs full, we still, need to, feed ourselves, before we have the minds, to care about someone else, that, is what this tells us, but there are, the exceptions too!  That, is what makes us, humans, a complex, species.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Altruism, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

If You Can’t Even, Get Along Well Enough with Your Mother-in-Law, How the HELL Do You Expect to Get Along with Your Daughters-in-Law???

Uh, this is what I call, a STUPID QUESTION, so, SCRATCH that “last statement” on how there are, NO stupid questions as I’d, stated, previously…

If you can’t even, get along well enough with your mother-in-law, and how the HELL do you expect to get along with your daughters-in-law?  You can’t, and, no matter how you say, that you won’t repeat what your @#$%ED up mothers-in-law DID to you when you married those, mother @$#%ERS (still NOT name calling here!), you will still, fall, into, that vicious cycle, even IF you do have, enough, awareness, ‘cuz, it takes, more than awareness, to map out that, brand new course.

And yet, what the @$%# (maxed out) would I know?  I’m still, unmarried, with NO children (not physically!), but heck, I still, know my SHIT ‘round this subject, so, don’t doubt me.

The thing is, we will all, pass down how we were, mistreated, by our own, mothers-in-law to our own, daughters-in-law, because that, is just how humans behave, and, there’s, NO way, of, snapping, OUT of this, vicious cycle, unless, you have, that extra-sensitive perception (not like clairvoyance, I’m afraid…), and is, super, duper aware, of, everything that’s, currently, happening all around you, otherwise, you will, NEVER break out of that, vicious cycle, and I got NO need to worry ‘bout getting STUCK, inside, that “vortex” cuz???  Oh yeah, I got, ZERO plans of getting married (just bring that GUN to my wedding, as I’d stated previously???), got NO need to have this, already DEAD daughter of mine, and yes, I still, endured through, a whole lot of, abuse AND neglect, along with, other forms, versions, of BULLSHIT you can, or can’t, ever, imagine, so, do NOT, question my authority on here, ‘k???

Mommy is in need of her F-I-V-E, so, class is, no longer in session, ‘til next time, my “children”…

Uh, you have GOT to be, shitting me on here and, I do apologize (N-O-T!) for my, condescending, tone of voice…for this one, N-O-T!

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Family Dynamics, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Obstacles in a Relationship, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

A Cycle of Kindness

Because of the kindness, shown by those graduated, older school members to you, making you, more than willing, to give back to your younger schoolmates too now, this is, an amazing, cycle of help, of kindness that keeps, rolling down, translated…

My son stayed in his room a long time, I’d asked him what he was up to?  He’d told me he will be in a webcam meeting in a bit, to train his younger schoolmates on the techniques of interview.  I’d questioned, that it wasn’t him who’s taking the exams, he’d replied, “back then, my older schoolmates had helped me the same way, of course I am going to help my younger schoolmates now too!”  wow, my son is, really, grown up!  This was, very truth, back then, my son wasn’t, too articulate, a geek too, wanted to become noted in the excellent bunches of students from Jien-Guo High School, not an easy thing.  But gladly, his older schoolmates were, more than willing, to coach him, they’d come back to school to rehearse with him every weekend, and finally, it’d helped my son get into his desired major of medicine.

Of them, the most helpful person was the one who’d, connected my son with his older schoolmates, his homeroom instructor, she’d treated her students like they were her own children, and all the students were, more than, grateful toward her, with a call from her, all of her students would drop everything, and came to her aid.

Especially, the year my son graduated, everybody made the higher grades, and, it’s all on how those graduated students’ willingness to put in the time on their weekends, to share with those younger schoolmates the tips of going into the interviews, to how to prepare the information package to bring to the interviews, etc., etc., etc., and on Memorial Day weekend, they’d, trained them from 8:30 in the morn, to five in the afternoon, to allow the younger schoolmates to get the stance they’d needed, when they are in the interviews, and I was, more than, moved by these, older class members’, giving, there were, a total of twelve students who got into the medical department.

More importantly, these experience of having something offered to them, made these kids know how to give back.  It’s said, that children who are intelligent, were all, selfish, but on my son, and his classmates, I’d, found that, cycle of kindness that, repeated itself.  Because they knew, that they couldn’t get into the universities of their choices, had it not been the older school members’ returning on the weekends to help them prepare, so, they’d, followed in their older school members’ footsteps, returned back every year to help their younger schoolmates, and not only of the same school, my son and his college classmates would also, work together, to help the high school students in the Yunling, Chiayi areas to the highest, the topnotch universities in Taiwan too.

Later I’d asked my son, why did he do this much?  He’d said, that the countryside doesn’t have as much resources as in the cities, if because of their helping out, the kids from the countryside can, have the opportunities to get into the more prestigious universities, wouldn’t that be, amazing?  Hearing this, I’d found, that my son has, grown up, knew to trace to the origins, willing to help others, this would make me happier, than his, making the good grades.

This shows, how the cycle of kindness, can also, snowball, with the previous generations of graduates, coming back to the high school to help the graduating students prepare for their, entrance college interviews, giving them tips, helping them get into the majors of their choices, now, these younger school members, are, paying it forward, because they were, shown the kindness, by the previous generations of graduates, that’s why, they’re now, more than willing, to give back too.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Elders Whom Everybody Likes Being Close to

How these two elderly women are role models for us all, not just in their abilities to stay health, but on the positive attitude they take, toward growing older, and living, their lives, to the fullest…translated…

With the advancements of medicine, becoming an elderly person, is the future for us all, but, it’s a lesson, to learn how, to be, a cute elderly person.

There were two role models, of what elderly persons should be like.  Grandma Wang, I’d met through the volunteer program at school, at age seventy-six, she’s, graceful, and, dressed in a way, that’s, visually, appeasing.  After her move from her old home in Chiayi to Taipei, she’d gone to the local elementary school, to inquire if there’s a need for volunteer, and she’d started working, as a “story grandma”.

Some of the stories that Grandma Wang told the students are from the illustrated books, children’s books, and, some stories, were from her own travels, that she’d, changed the parts to.  With the lessons, Grandma Wang would bring her own homemade props, for instance, on the story of the Pygmalion, she’d started, playing the role of the female lead, handed the flowers one by one to the children, with the rise and falls of her voice, it’d, captured the children’s, attention.  Every time she’d walked down the streets, the children would greet her eagerly, “Grandma Wang!”

She also volunteers as the morning homework helper, four days a week, she’d, tutored two children who needed the extra help time.  Other than volunteering, she’s also, actively involved in the community choir too, doing yoga at the gym, to train her muscles, she’d managed to keep her body fit.

staying active in the elderly years…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

Another Grandma Lee, was an elder I’d met when I volunteered to the home visits, Grandma Lee was with a straight back, and you can’t see that she’s, already, ninety.  Her son lives out of country, her daughter lives in Kaohsiung, and often comes up north to visit her.  Grandma Lee had been volunteering at the hospital for thirty years on end, and recently, she’d, stepped down.  She’d gone to the parks early in the morn every day for tai-chi, and had brunches with her fellow martial artists, and, once a week, she’d gone to volunteer at the local borough’s office, and would arrange her time once a year, to go to the hospitals or the nursing homes with the Tai-Chi instructor to teach everybody some simple moves the residents can do to keep up with their physical wellbeing.

And, these two beautiful elderly women had a couple of things in common: first, they’re very physically healthy, with the regular routines for their workouts.  Secondly, both are involved in volunteer work, the embodiments of happy in helping others.  Thirdly, they’re, actively, interactive with their external social environments, not fallen off the connections with society.  I want to take after them, to become, a warm, an elder whom everybody wants to be close to.

And so, these two elderly women are, amazing role models indeed, they are very active, they kept up with their health, exercised regularly, and, found the time, to give back to the community, which is what probably helped them stay youthful, and they’re, role models for all of us indeed!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Expectations, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization