Category Archives: Interpersonal Relations

Articles of interpersonal relationships, either created by me, or found in the papers, or other media

The Courage, to Face up to Being Bullied

How the adults’ attitudes is what helped this girl, dealt effectively, with the bullies that picked on her in school, the importance, of providing a safe environment that a child feels comfort enough, to tell the adults, translated…

In the meetings, my phone vibrated a couple of times, I saw, using my peripheral vision, that it was from my daughter’s school teacher, with an unsettled heart, I’d found me an excuse, rushed off to the restrooms, clicked open the screen, the photo of my daughter’s glasses being, damaged popped up, in the message, her teacher told, that the two boys from the next classroom thought that my daughter was, horseplaying with them, pinned her to the ground, and scratched her glasses.  I was glad that my daughter wasn’t, physically, injured, but I’d, questioned the teacher’s description of the events, I’d thanked her notifying me first, as for how we’re to, handle the matter, I shall wait until I get off work, and go home to my daughter to discuss with her on it.

like this???

查看來源圖片
taking the smaller child’s lunch money! Photo from online

And yet, my daughter’s telling me of what had happened, thrilled me!  She said she was playing in the track field, the two boys came up to her, without any warnings, they’d, pinned down her shoulders, and, as she tried to break away from them, they’d, pushed her face to the pavement together, and they’d not mentioned that they wanted to play with her from the start, they’re not even her friends, one only took the afterschool help classes with her, the other, a complete, stranger.

From what my daughter had, described, I saw NO signs of friendly interactions, nor was this, some, careless, mistake, this is, a conscious, banding together, picking one someone lesser sort of, bullying someone for the kicks of it.  I was really angry and upset now, my emotions went up and down, she is only, in the first grade of the elementary years!  Then?  I’d asked my daughter if she were hurt, and did she cry?  Was she angry, was she, afraid?

She’d shook her head steadily, she said, that although she couldn’t, beat those two boys, but she’d, remembered their appearances, and, as she returned back to class, she’d, checked to see if her glasses are all right.  I patted her head, felt that she was, brave, and smart, and am, deeply, proud of her. I’m glad, that this incident didn’t cause any bad things to stay with her in life, but I’d, felt, deeply—maybe, I wouldn’t want to, believe, that children that young are with, malice, or maybe, I’m, affected by the eastern values of, the desires of, keeping the peace, how many incidents of bullying, actually, got misinterpreted as, horseplay?  Because of a naughty temperament, because of lacking of awareness and not knowing better, because of some, misunderstanding, because of, not being, careful, enough…………we’d, given an assortments of getting off easy for the bullies, like how in Harry Potter, all the characters, dodged the topic, the name of, Voldemort, they’d, dodged the word, “bullies” and “bullying” too.  Not realizing, that the unwillingness, to face up, to what’s happening, bullying, it’s harder, to resolve the incidents of, bullying.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/Dofa
how the child feels isolated and alone being bullied…

As I’d discussed the matter with my daughter, she’d, decided, to forgive the two classmate who’d, picked on her, and I’d, supported her decision.  I’d thanked her teacher, for making her feel safe and secure, for her, to go straight to her, as the incident was, occurring.  And I’m too grateful for her teacher for believing in my daughter, for being, supportive of her, to protect her.  But what I’d, hoped more is, from the school and the family angles, we can all, get the courage to, face up to the bullies, because, only when we’re, willing to face up to the events, then, we will be able to, sort through it, bit by bit, and let it go.

And so, this, is the importance of the attitudes of the adults, when cases of bullying is occurring in a child’s life, the daughter of the writer is being bullied by the boys, and, she’d, told her teacher, and her teacher had, been there, supporting the girl, giving her that safe place to go to, and the child was, intelligent enough, to note the boys’ names, and told the teacher afterwards.

Leave a comment

Filed under Abuse, Bullying, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Physical Bullying, Properties of Life, Values

What’s the BEST Way, to Let Someone Know, that S/he is, Making You, Uncomfortable???

And I still have to apologize, for being, a bit, BLUNT, ‘cuz sometimes, that’s, the ONLY way to GET the point across, for those who just don’t get it, hello, hello, hello???

What’s the BEST way, to let someone know, that s/he is, making you uncomfortable???  Surely, you can, throw them stupid signals around, hoping that s/he picks up on it, but, chances are, the person is way too mother @#$%ING (maxed out!) retarded to pick that up!

But, I can’t, just say to the guy/woman: hey YO!  BACK OFF!  Can I?  That’s just not, socially, “Acceptable” is it?  Nope!

And yet, there’s, NO easy way, but to just, bluntly, state it ALOUD sometimes, so, stop worrying about how you will make the other person feel (I mean, WHO cares!  And, isn’t how YOU feel more important than how the other person feels???)

That’s, just one of the harder things of being human, I suppose, for SOME of you out there, but not for the QUEEN for, the QUEEN, still SPEAKS her M-I-N-D here, out loud too!!!

Just like Murphy had done, I’d, TELL someone, STRAIGHT up, if s/he is, making ME, uncomfortable, and you should too, otherwise, there will, be those who are out, to take advantage, and by then, you got, NOBODY else to blame, ‘cuz, you’d, ENABLED, the other person’s, improper behaviors…

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Choices, Communications, Coping Mechanisms, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, translated, by me, again………

Even in the Jurassic Age,

Bringing a Bouquet of Flowers to a Date is a Must.

illustration by Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com

圖/幾米

Some things, don’t change, the common courtesies, that first impression that you’d made on someone, and this is still all from, socialization.

Leave a comment

Filed under Expectations, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

A Beautiful , Yet Sad Story, Love in the Schooling Years

The love that didn’t get spoken in time, the love that passed on, with the death of that someone you liked in your, schooling years, and what his death had, taught you, translated…

One Day, I’d, Opened up My Closet, and No Matter How Hard I’d, Looked, I Just, Couldn’t, Find Those, Two Shirts, and because They’re of My Personal Collections, I’d, Not Dared Made it Open, Nor Asked Anyone, I can Only, Pull Out All the Clothes, and Prodded with My Hands, Inside that, Emptied, Drawer………………

I Just Want to Grab onto Something, a Strand of What was Left Was, Fine

My first love came to a halt, in an accident, that boy I liked in my second year of middle school, before we had the chance to exchange a single word with one another, vanished, without, a single, trace.

I was only fourteen, had absolutely NO clue of how the universe worked, I looked all around me, and saw, nothing, but the fogs, and so, I’d felt, that strong sense of helplessness, over this world which I’d originally, had a firm grasp over, I’d, wanted to, extend my hand outward, and fish around, for something, anything!

I was, close to the boy’s younger sister, she’d, worked her best, to sort through everything that her older brother had, left behind, in the countryside of Kaohsiung, everybody was living in poverty stricken means, they seem to be worse off than we were, and, what she could give me were, a couple of blurry photographs, two of her older brother’s shirts, and, the textbook that seemed to have never been, flipped through by him.

I’d carried these things as if they were, something, precious, with tentativeness and care, I’d, stashed the photo inside my diary, and, folded his clothes up to tiny, placed them to the depth of my own closet, and, I’d, read through all the pages of his textbooks thoroughly.  Back then, I’d already, read a ton of, novels, and among these, were the romances, and I’d, stubbornly held on to the beliefs of: he liked me, although just like me, he’d, never said aloud, btu he must’ve, stashed that feeling inside his heart, and, written some lines about it.

I can’t know his heart anymore, but, who knows, if he’d, only, written something inside the texts, as he’d drifted into space in class?

The summers in Kaohsiung, those, never ending, summer days, came together in a bundle, in front of the window, in the sunlight, I’d, flipped through the volumes page by page, Chinese, history, math, geography……………the class of loose students, there was only the difference of the colors of the pages being pure white, and yellow.  The schemata which were, activated in my mind, and for every horizontal stroke of pen, I’d, immediately believed that it was the first stroke of my own last name; and yet, the young boy didn’t even leave a dot of his ballpoint pen.

And so, I can only, return all his textbooks, to the past.

And so, what remained, of my first love, were the two shirts, three photos, a newspaper clipping of how two middle school boys drowned by the oceans, along with that locked diary, crawling with my handwriting ink.

No Blackhole, Nor Boy in Hiding

One day, I’d opened up my closet, and can’t find those two shirts no matter how hard I’d tried, and because they’re, my private stash, I’d not dared, asked anybody, and can only, pull all the clothes out, and, prodded into the drawers now emptied, with my own hands, that maybe, there was, a blackhole inside, that swallowed everything that didn’t belong; or maybe, there’s, that secret tunnel in the back of my wardrobe, that the boy didn’t die, he’s, just, hiding, and, came in the middle of the nights, to pull his own shirt away, wanting to tell the girl: hey, I’m still here, in some corner of this world.

Then, the diary I’d kept at the bottom of my desk drawer, seemed to have moved around, I’d taken it out to look, the locks were cut off, and the photo, the newspaper clippings, all gone, and the smeared pages I’d written down as I cried, were all, torn off, perfectly.

Okay, okay, there was, NO blackhole, no mystery, no boy hidden, the one who’d, wiped it all away was, my mother.

My homeroom instructor must’ve called my parents about this, and in the heat of anger, my mother swept up my room, got rid of everything that she deemed as obstacles in my life, everything I’d, hold too dearly to my mind.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/Emily Chan

For the first few years, the boy was buried in that tiny cemetery in the bamboo forest, in the middle of the fields, then after the bones were collected, the headstone removed, then, the fields, the bamboo forest got turned into a huge, construction site, then, the concrete jungle came atop, there’s no place for me, to remember him then.

Then, what I wrote, it will do, right.  I’d written everything into a novel on BBS, and everybody liked it, it’d reminded the readers of everything in their own, younger, years, I’d even, published it, sold many copies too, but a few years, the book became, out-of-print, and, forgotten, by the, world then.

So, everything with a set form, disappear eventually, no matter how hard you’d tried to hold on, that handful of sand still, slips out.  I’d prodded these past two years, even the parents of the boy had both, passed on, and, those who’d remembered the guy’s smile, got reduced by two more people, will we all, not leave, anything behind, one day, just spreading out palms out?

No, maybe, there’s, something that’s, evolved, and now, I’d not rummaged through my daughter’s closets, drawers, or read her diaries anymore, to not throw away anything she’d, stashed away in secret.

To protect someone’s complete forms of her/his youth, that was, what that boy who’d died too young had, given to me, a life-long, gift.

And so, this lesson from this boy you liked who’d died, taught you a lesson with his death, that love is precious, that you must, take a hold of the love you want to hold onto in the now, otherwise, it will, slip away too quickly, and, you’d also, learned to, NOT read your own teenage daughter’s diary, to let her have her private things, that only she is aware of, because your mother didn’t respect your things!

Leave a comment

Filed under Because of Love, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Loss, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life, The Teenage Years

Karaoke Sing-Off of the Elderly

A common activity, a hobby of sorts, shared by this group of, elderly in the community, translated…

The afternoon sun felt, warmed, I took the white poodle that belonged to the elderly woman downstairs out for a walk at the park.  As I strolled, I’d heard the voices singing.  Taiwanese, Hakka, Japanese, Mandarin.

I’d followed the voices curiously, found that there was a blue pickup parked under the tree at the entrance of the park, with the karaoke machine on it.  And there were, many elderly accompanied by their nurses in wheelchairs there, extending their necks, longing to have a good karaoke session.  They’d started blurting aloud the titles of the songs, and the young owner of the truck made the selections for them, each song costs only, ten-dollars, with everybody taking turns.

like this…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

All the elders were smiling and grinning from ear to ear, with the mic to their lips, and one of them, half way through the song, stated, “oops, forgot the lyrics!”, and one sang for two lines, then, “the key is too high, I can’t get up there!”, an elderly gent ordered a classic Taiwanese tune, “Pillows of Two”, and after a few lines, he’d sighed, “the pillow fell to the floors!”

And, even though, there were, the multitudes of actions, everybody still laughed and got along joyously.  Thinking about how these elders were, immobile, they have only limited place to hang out, the karaoke set up on the truck allowed them to get their voices heard, to get what they feel out, and clearly, this was, worth, more than, any materials.  As for whether or not they were excellent as singers, it wouldn’t, matter.  After all, they are not, professional singers, at their age, willing to open up their mouths to sing, it’s, worth, a lot, isn’t it?

And so, this, is the hobby that’s, shared by this, group of, elderly, and it’s, a very important, socialization forum for them, because these elderly are in wheelchairs, or immobilized, and they’re mostly kept indoors, but, there’s this service provided for them, to hang out together, to sing along together, it’s something wonderful, that the older generations can share.

Leave a comment

Filed under Hobbies/Pasttimes, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Gnocchi

The translation of the comic strips: “What would happen when you get into fight with noodle?

“Fried noodles”?  Nope.  “Fried Noodles”?  Nope.  Noodle in hot water?  Nope.

“It would become…………gnocchi!”

P.S. the Chinese word for gnocchi means getting under each other’s skins.

the comic strip off of UDN.com

Puppy, Rui-Ji, Happy, Chestnut, they’re all, my best friends from the extracurricular back in my high school years, and now, it’d been, over a decade, we are all, split up, some of us, nine-to-fivers, some, taking over family businesses, some head off abroad, but, the group of four, stayed, connected.

No matter what they bump into at work, how stressed out they may be, of their day-to-day, they all need to, rant on in their group, the brothers getting into spats, going out together for drinks, for foods, then, all their worries are, all, away then.

The phrase, “happy to see you” applies perfectly to the four, so, Puppy always stated, that he was going to, use the unfunny jokes that only they understood, to write a song.  They’d not played in a long, long time, don’t know if, they will, reignite that youthful flame, with the cold jokes?

And so, this, is how close the friends you made in your schooling years are to you, you are each other’s emotional support, you guys meet out from time to time, to tell each other the BULLSHITS that happened to you in your separate lives, which works exactly like therapy, and you only needed to, pay for your drinks, and these “therapy sessions” don’t occur in a squarish office, with the lay-down couch and the chair by it!

Leave a comment

Filed under Connections, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Staying TRUE, to, a WHORING M-A-N

I still gotta say, this is, still NOT directed toward anyone who can R-E-A-D, as for those of you who’d, stumbled onto this site of mine, and can’t READ, well, you got NO business being here, so, get the HELL out!!!

What AM I???  A @#$%ING (maxed out!) R-E-T-A-R-D???

And, why on God’s “green earth” (oh wait, god does NOT have sole-proprietorship over ANY of us, here on E-A-R-T-H!) would I do something so stupid like that, huh?  Besides, you were the ones who couldn’t keep your god damn, @#$%ING (maxed out!) DICKS in check, so, what RIGHT have you, to tell me that I’m not keeping my you-know-where intact?

The primary reason W-H-Y a lot of women are currently STUCK in this, predicament (you can call it that if you want to!) is because they are, too dumb, and too, BLONDE (the dumb-blonde BIMBOS???), to unable to see, how staying STUCK, should be, their, last resort, and they still, don’t get themselves out, why is that, is absolutely, beyond ME!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, that may be our, only option, IF we live in the, 18th, 19th, 20th centuries, but we are, in the 21st CENTURY here (hello, hello, hello, is this thing~~the P.A, even on???), because we are, without a viable skill, to make a living on our own, therefore, in the olden days, we relied on our losers has-beens, to keep us, and seeing how they are all, the bread winners of the house, they can, WHORE around all the want to but that’s, back then, and this, is N-O-W!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, is something I will NEVER do, in fact, like all you losers out there that EXTRA “appendage” “down there”, I too, prefer, VIRGIN males too, okay, and yes, I will have my two “virgin males” NEUTERED, and I am going to get the two of them both, HOUSEBROKEN, and, they will be, “camping” their butts, on my bed, next to me, giving that they don’t crawl onto my pillow, to find that soft spot (like Murphy’d done???)…and we’ll all get along, just fine, and dandy here…

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Discriminations, Excuses, Getting Even, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Interpersonal Relations, Issues of Morality, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Properties of Life

Keep the Love Flowing

The cycle of kindness, also rolls down continually, from one person, to the next, we need more stories like these, especially at this day and age! Translated…

The rain came pouring down on my exercise walk, I’d rushed into the breakfast shops to hide out, the shop owner’s mother in her seventies ushered me in, and she’d, taken out a yellow raincoat from the closets, for me to put on, her act of kindness had, warmed up my heart.

As the rain slowly dissipat4ed, as I was, about to, return the raincoat, she’d started telling me the funny things that happened to her while she was on a trip to the eastern side of the island. A couple of years ago, she’d gone to Hualien to travel during the New Year’s holidays with her family, and, the trip was a spur of the moment thing, and, she’d only worn the short sleeves and shorts, and, the cold fronts made everybody shiver, and so, they can only, run back into the cars to hide, they’d not gone anywhere.

And, a woman who was standing at the side of the road saw, she’d immediately gone home, brought a ton of clothes for them to choose from, waited until the seven, eight adults and children had, selected the thick coats and smiled and said their thank yous, they’d wanted to ask her address, so they can send the clothe back, but, the woman turned them down. She’d told them, that her kids are all grown and lived elsewhere, that the clothes were just, taking up space in her home. And, every time after that, as the family saw the clothes, they’d always, smiled on it, and, remembered the kindness from the woman, who’d given them the coats to wear.

In order to keep the love flowing, the breakfast shop also gathered some donated clothes for the comers to borrow, other than keeping the shop connected with the local communities, it’s, a way of repaying the woman for her kindness. As I’d heard, I thought, maybe I can write this tale down, or maybe, by chance, that kindhearted woman that the family met in Hualien will see, that her kindness had become, a cycle already.

And so, this, is how some random act of kindness had touched so many lives, and, by passing the kindness to the strangers that came to the breakfast shop, the owner is keeping the kindness that was shown to her and her family flowing, and we need more stories like this in the world we live in right now!

2 Comments

Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Because of Love, Cause & Effect, Connections, Friendships, Inspirational Tales, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Memories Shared, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Stories of Hope, Story-Telling, Teaching by Example, The Education of Children, Translated Work, Trends

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

21 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

A Product of His Enviornmental Interactions

He was, a product of his environmental interactions, there’s NO denying that!  Being a product of his environmental interactions, he’d worked hard, to get along with, to adapt, to everything that’s happening around him, because that, is how he would survive.

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d fallen victim, and, once that had happened, he found himself, STUCK, and, NO matter how hard he’d tussled and rustled, he just, couldn’t, get back out again.  A product of his environmental interactions, during the last parts of his life, he’d come to understand, that if one is to ge4t along well with the world, then, one must make oneself malleable, so one can deal with the changes around oneself…

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d become, and, he’d fallen, to that mindset, and, NO matter how hard he’d tried, he just, couldn’t get out, he’s now, STUCK, for good!

A product of his environmental interactions, there’s no way, for him, to rid himself off that, because NO matter where he goes, he is right there, the consequences of his life, will always, be right there, behind him, ready to, catch him, RIGHT in the A-C-T………

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Theories & Applications, Values