Category Archives: My Thoughts on Various Issues

My views on issues that occurred here, in my neck of the woods…

Please Let Go, and Trust in Me, Having an Overbearing Mother

The problem here, is still NOT with the daughter, but with the mother, but, does she realize it???  Of course N-O-T, translated…

From awhile ago, on the news, a certain organization had been losing money by the year, the second-generation owner decided to sell of the office building, for cash, the founder, as he was, interviewed, stated, “My heart ached as my son did it, but now, I’d, trusted in his decisions entirely!”

This pair of father and son made me so envious, and at the same time, I’d, felt heartache for them both, because how I’d, wished that my own mother, can trust me like this father had his own son too.

From the views of the world, I guess, I’m, the pride of my parents: made high grades, gone to an all-star institution, and, managed to pass the exams for a public office on my very first try, I’d never needed my parents to worry over my school performances or my work.

Although my mother stated verbally, that I’d, done well for myself, but she’d, never had faith, that I can, handle things on my own, whether it be how I’d spent my money, how to treat others I meet, whether to have children after I married, who should care for my child if s/he was born…………my mother’s criticisms came at me, never-ending, “it’s for your sake”, was her most widely used phrase, and her weapon.

She’d never understood, that what she’d believed to be a show of care and concern, her nagging, was interpreted as how she didn’t trust me enough, I’d tried to tell her, but her response was always, “Those with your last names, can’t take any criticisms from others!”

When I was interning, I’d, lived at home, I’d had a crash on a rainy day, and, as I’d, bent my knees, my injuries started bleeding, but I’d not let my mother know, I’d, bent down, holding the pains in, as I’d helped clean up the house, until my mother rode out to get the groceries, and found the head of the motorcycle dented, that, was when she’d, found out.  I’d gotten into another, serious crash after I was married, and, it’d been years to this very day, I’d still, not told my parents what had happened to me.

Of the two wrecks I got in, I was, very scared, but I knew, that other than feeling anxious over me, and nagging me, my parents couldn’t do anything for me, and they’d, surely, blamed me, for being, too careless too.  And so, no matter how painful, I’d much rather, hide the truth from them.

I’d never doubted the love my mother had for me, but every time, as I’d, wanted to show affection towards her, she’d started, lecturing me, and in the end, she’d added, “Nobody else is going to tell you this, I’m your mother, that was why, for your sake, I’m, telling, you the truth!”  in my mother’s mind, I’ll never be, enough, there are, always things, I can, improve, and, all of my good performances are, matter-of-fact, and yet, the imperfections, are what pricked at her, and she’d needed to, get rid of them.

But, my dearest mother, you know what?  Your daughter may not be perfect, but, she’d always tried very hard, worked hard, can you just, let go, and trust in me?

And, hopefully, this woman’s mother can see this article, and change the way she interacts with her daughter, but, I’m still, NOT holding MY breath, because parents like these, they think what they’re doing, IS for the good of their young, and they just keep on, doing whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they’re doing, using their same old ways, probably because they were, treated as such by their own parents (‘cuz these sorts of SHITS still gets passed down, from one generation to the next, like D.N.A.???) and this daughter is going to, have a very difficult time, getting closer to her mother that’s for sure…

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Filed under Adult Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Enmeshment, Everyone Else's Fault, Family Dynamics, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lessons, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Overbearing Parents, Overinvolvements of Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Psycho Parents, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, translated by me…

The child to the sloth, or, the sloth, to the child…

Let’s take it slow now…………

No matter how quickly the world changes………

Let’s just, take it slow……………

No matter, how worked up others are around us………

We will, continue to, take it slow together………

One day…

Someone will, finally, get us………

Understanding, that slower is faster……

We’re in no rush……………

Slowly, slowly, slower, slower………………

And this, would be how hard you’re all, PUSHING your children, to catch up to your tempos or paces, and by doing that, you’d, deprived your young, of taking their times, to grow UP slow, at their own paces, and, at the same time, you’d, SLAUGHTERED your young children like P-I-G-S, depriving them, of a happy, AND carefree childhood!

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Growing Up Too Fast, Interactions Shared with the World, Kids Raising Kids, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Messed Up Values, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Things Left Behind, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls

Not Free to Love, as We Chose

We have here, uh, an ODD couple!

Not free to love, as we chose, because we’re of the same gender, and, although laws are currently being passed, to okay same-sex marriages all over the places, we’re still, SHUNNED, by the public, like when we’d gone strolling, we held hands, and, people would look at us weird, making us both uneasy.

Not free to love, as we chose, well, you know what, I NEVER chose my sexual preferences, it’s just how I was born, and, there’s NO way, I can change, what’s already, genetically prewired.

Not free to love, as we chose, sure, there are so many countries that are currently passing laws, to okay same-sex marriage, but, would we all be considered, equals?  Of course N-O-T, and, what IF me and my partner are both Catholics, and we wanted to be married, by a Catholic priest, in a Catholic church, oh no, no, I can already see their shocking faces: we’re NOT allowing GAYS or LESBIANS, to marry here, in this HOUSE of G-O-D!

Well, if God really, loved all of HIS children (there’s still SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many ways I can argue that!), then, why are we being given a hard time, in trying to marry who we love?

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Filed under Awareness, Gay Rights, Homosexuality, Hypocrisy, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Prejudices, Properties of Life, Socialization, Soup of the Day, Values

The Teddy Bear at My House

Translated…

My daughter had always wanted a cat for a pet, but, because neither one of us wanted to, she’d let that thought go.  Back in high school, one day, she saw a Rilakkuma, she’d bought it, with glee, it was, about eighty centimeters in height, with light brown coat, a square head, short and fat limbs, very cute, my daughter called it “Bear”, the three of us all loved it so.  The bear would usually stay in my daughter’s room, and accompanied my daughter to dreams at night; during the cold winter nights, my daughter would make sure, that her bear is warm, but when she wakes in the morn, the bear would usually have made its escape out, and would be on its side or with its head into the bed, making my daughter laugh.

At meal time, my daughter would carry the bear to the tables and sat with us, it’d stood, on the long chair, with its two, short arms on the table, like a kid, standing up, to eat at the table.  After meal, my daughter would carry her Teddy bear back into her bedroom, and would from time to time, nag it, out of fun, “Everybody’s finished already, only you, still here, you glutton.”

The rest time before bedtime, we’d all lain on the bed, sharing conversations, naturally, the bear would also, be there too.

The bear is naturally, my daughter’s number one fan when she plays the piano, whenever my daughter would practice, she’d placed the bear close by; and from time to time, she would have me, hold on to the bear, and listen to her play, after she’s done performing, I would pull the bear’s hands together, to give her the applause, and hollered, “Encore!  Encore!”, and my daughter would be filled with glee.  Whenever my daughter felt off, she’d told her sorrows to her bear too, she felt, that the bear had great healing powers.

Whenever it’s sunny, my daughter would put the bear onto the couch in the living room, to give it a sunbath, and, after the bear was warmed, she’d then, carry it back into her bedroom, and stated, “the bear had already gotten the essence of the sun and the moon now, it’d become, an energy bear!”

Sometimes, when my daughter heads off abroad to travel or to perform, she’d lain her bear on her bed, pull the covers over her, told it, “You must behave yourself, and wait, for my return.”

What’s more classic was, when she’d started grad school, and was going to her orientation, she’d brought the bear with her to her dorm; and when she’d called home regularly, she’d told me of how the bear was doing; and, waited until the summer or winter vacations, she’d bring the bear home with her.

Being an only daughter is really lonely, but, with her bear accompanying her, as parents, we feel, better about her not having a sibling.

And so, this, is how FAR someone’s attachment objects can go, this young woman didn’t have ANY siblings, as she’s an only child, and so, she’d found herself an attachment object, in this case, a Teddy bear, to accompany her, now, I’m not saying, that having an attachment object is a bad thing, but, this, is just, going WAY too far here, in MY opinion, that is.

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Filed under Awareness, Family Dynamics, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Self-Images, Socialization, Values

The Power of Psychotherapy

Psychology of the general public here, translated…

Anybody Can Feel Lost at Times

Before my days of serving my army terms on the external islands ended, before those days of no need for worries and just, watching the stars are over, I’d started calculating, what, I will be making a living off of afterwards.  Back then, I’d had two options, one, put myself up, as a manager of the foreign baseball players for the Uni-President Lions (I know I loved watching the game, as for my English skills, well, at least I CAN speak.  And I can also say, that I have the background in psychology too); another was becoming the editor of Money Magazine (before I’d enlisted, I’d followed the markets, and during it, I’d subscribed to the financial magazines by the month, I’d collected ALL the volumes).

For the former, I’d wanted to show off my English skills, I’d not written anything to show the headhunters, just how fluent I am, in the language, and for the latter, they’d called me back and wanted me to go in for an interview.  But, the magazine told me that there wasn’t an opening for editor, but there was an opening, in the sales department.  And, two days after I’d asked them, “What, do I do in the sale department?”, fate sent me a curve ball, turns out, the government had an experiment for two years, and so, I’d become, the very first set of “clinical psychologist”.

Two years flew by, with the experiences of the cases, I’d started having the doubts: do psychotherapy really work?  Unsure of my contributions to the parents and the students (I need to review my results from back then now), I’d actually felt, that I couldn’t do anything to help those who came to me at all, I’d needed to “climb the squares” in the midnight hours, to express my own emotional strains (and, I’d managed, to keep accords of these thoughts and feelings to the point I can get published already!)

Just as the experiments are about to end, a colleague begged me, to drive her over to the General Military Hospital, her nephew went into the service, and, got sent, to the psych ward, and was made, to stay there for an entire month, causing the whole family to worry.

Actually, it’s been a couple of years since my time in the psych ward (not for the hospitalization, but for my internship), it’d been a couple of years since, but, because someone entrusted in me so, I could only, tell her okay.

I’d recalled, how I’d observed how my coworker interacted with her nephew a bit, then, I’d started a conversation with that kid of not yet twenty that neither one of us understood what each other was talking about, then, on the way back, I’d told my coworker a bunch of things that wouldn’t help in the kid’s recovery, the point is merely, for my coworker, to be mentally prepared, that her nephew will become hospitalized.  Without knowing, before I dropped her off, she’d shoved a thousand dollar bill into my hand, told me to keep it (twenty years ago, that was HUGE!).  I was shocked, because I didn’t help them in any way, I’d quickly returned the money to her.  My conscience wouldn’t let me rest if I’d taken her money!  After we’d shoved the money back and forth, my coworker told me, “I just wanted you to know, that you CAN make a living off of doing this!”

Turns out, her family was split on how to deal with her nephew’s illness, one party is for him, taking rest at home, the other believed that hospitalization would suit him best, and because of my analysis, it’d given her the proof she needed, to convince her family members.  But what she failed to realize, was those words before she got off my car, gave the me back then, a boost of encouragement.

Listening, Allowing the People to Feel No So Alone

I did, accept the money from my coworker, but my work is almost done, and I don’t know where I’m to go, so, I’d returned back to my alma mater, to chat with my professor.  Don’t know if it was because my age reached a nine, or whether or not I was unsure of whether I should follow everybody else, go abroad to study, I’d felt so low, and, all the way to see my professor, I’d felt, that the world had turned completely dark.

I’d recalled my professor hearing me out, “I’m close to thirty, and still had yet to amount to something”, he’s flashed a smile at me, said, “I’m past age fifty, and feel that there are a lot of things I can accomplish, and you’re just almost thirty…”, he’d asked me if I’d considered being his teach assistant before I head abroad, and told me that I would have the chances, to being in contact with the elites of the society.

But, these ten minutes of conversation, I’d felt like I still had hopes (what the professor failed to predict was the earthquake that came a month later caused the job description to shift greatly for the next three years).  And there was something unforgettable, as I’d walked out of the department, I’d felt, that the trees had, turned green, the flowers, bloomed beautifully, and the colors, had all returned!

 And that, was the very first time, I’d realized, that talking, is healing.

A lot of the times, I’d have the families of the patients inquire, how do we accompany unstable, depressed, even demented patients?  Actually, there IS no right answer.  Other than making sure, that you are well, then, you can keep on accompanying the person!

And so, this, is a man’s journey, to find his own calling, and he used a ton of psychotherapy techniques, to help his friends, as well as those who’d come to consult him out, which just goes to show, that psychology lends itself to everything still!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Issues of the Society, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Socialization, Story-Telling, The Observer Effect

A Reflection of Inequality

The world right now, it’d shown, a reflection of inequality, as all those police shootings of colored persons get “broadcasted”, causing riots all over the places, what, did we learn, from just standing by, and watching those events, as mere observers?

A reflection of inequality, this, is what the world has entail for us, and, because there are so many varied shades of skin colors, we forget, that we’re all related, sharing this GOD DAMN (and your point being???) planet, and we get caught up, on the differences that we have of one another, and failed to remember, that we’re actually, the SAME.

A reflection of inequality, it’s EVERYWHERE, don’t tell me you don’t see, and, as the next generations of children are born, into this FUCKED (and your point being???) UP world, can we be certain, that, we’re providing them, with a SAFER environment that they will be able to, live in, grow up, be carefree in?

Behind the reflection of inequality, there’s an even MORE pressing issue at hand: why, can’t we tolerate people with a difference of opinion than we?  Why can’t we STOP trying to FIT one another, into those small BOXES of EXPECTATION?  And, don’t ALL of you out there realize, that expectations will only lead to DISAPPOINTMENTS, as I’d already learned, the HARD way already?  And, I’m merely telling you this because?  Oh yeah, I’d wasted TOO much time on figuring things out, and, IF you could take less time, to figure things out for yourselves, wouldn’t you WANT the help too?  I know I would!

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Filed under Awareness, Discriminations, Lessons, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Values

When Falsifying the Ingredients Became “Culture”

Unfortunately, this, had become, a TREND!

When falsifying the ingredients became “culture”, because the world is run by those god DAMN merchants with absolutely NO alternative motive other than making a FEW more EXTRA bucks, and so, that, is why there are so many poisonous foods, expired raw materials being used now.

When falsifying the ingredients became “culture”, there’s NO way to alter it, as this “culture” is already begun, and, until someone DIES from it, nobody’s gonna give a SHIT, because, it didn’t HIT them personally yet, and, even IF someone DIES, it’s still NOT our business, because, it’s not one of our own, who’d died because of it.

When falsifying the ingredients became “culture”, there’s just nothing we can do, to UP the morale, because, the world had, gone to the dogs, oh wait, it’s WORSE, than having the world GONE to the D-O-G-S, because at least, you CAN train your dogs, to SIT, STAY, now, be a good boy, and go FETCH!  But not with people………

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Excuses, Immoral Behaviors, Issues of Morality, Issues of the Society, Life, Messed Up Values, Moral Responsibilities, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Pursuits of Pointless Things, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Issues