Category Archives: Bad Examples Parents Set for Children

Infidelities, Most Likely to Happen, Three Years After the Marriage

From research statistics, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Shu-De Technical University Human Sexuality Department manager, Yen-Ching Lin said, that modern day women are financially independent, have a strong sense of themselves, and, once the quality of their marriage drops, they have a higher chance of having affairs; the Graduate Research Department in its 2010 survey of 400 married women in southern Taiwan, the rate of infidelity was 36.5 percent.  Lin believed, that the statistics for the married women in the central and northern parts would be roughly the same as well.

This study showed, that the partners of the affairs who were friends made up about 44.3 percent, the highest, followed by coworkers, friends from online, exes, and, the time when the affairs are most likely to start would be three years after the marriage.

And on top of that, the results of a survey by the Sexology Research Department before Valentine’s Day showed, that the rate of modern day female college students who had already had sex makes up about 43.5 percent, compared to the 27.3 percent from seventeen years ago, there is a clear increase, the primary reason for this being how open the societies had become.  Lin said, that from the researches conducted abroad, the women who had had sex prior to marriage are more than likely to have extramarital affairs after they are married, and, modern day women are expecting higher quality from their marriages, compared to the last generations, and so, they are bound, by the cultures, to stay in a marriage, so, they’re more than likely to find an exit for their own emotions.

On the males’ front, although the sexology department didn’t conduct such researches, however, on a survey over the subjects of one-night-stands, twenty-five percent of surveyed males are accepting to the idea, thirty-three percent of the subjects HAD experiences with one night stands, and men who wanted to try out one night stands, make up sixty percent.

Lin suggested that couples need to work hard, in making their relationships work, just spend more time with one another, showing cares and concerns for each other often, it shouldn’t be that difficult, to keep happy in the marriage.

So, there you have it, from the lips of the researcher, and, this still just shows, how as we advanced in every single way, our behaviors are falling backwards, and, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you would do it, where’s the moral restraints???

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Divorce Rates, Divorces, Downward Spiral, Extramarital Affairs, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, My Thoughts on Various Issues, News Stories, Perspectives, Relationship, Social Issues, Socialization, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

A Piece of Paper, with Three Young Children, Crying, Saved Their Parents, the Young Children Went to the Subprecinct to Look for Grandpa

Parents who made their kids go through HELL here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“Uncle Police, I need to go find grandpa, mom and dad said they’re going to kill; themselves!”, two nights ago, deep into the nights, three young children came, to the Shalun Subprecinct, with suitcases, telling the adults; some two odd hours later, the police found the parents, inside the car, with the exhaust gas fuming up, in the mountainous regions of Shulin District.

The police said, that the parents drove the kids to someplace near the subprecinct, gave them a note, told them to go into the subprecinct; the nine-year-old eldest brother, took his five and three-year old younger siblings, walked into the subprecincted, teary eyed, but, the eldest still maintained his collectedness as an eldest child, the officer on duty, Lin immediately notified the assistant manager of the subprecinct, Dai, the constable, Huang, the patrol officer, Lee, and, everybody came to inquire these three young children, what was wrong.

The nine-year-old eldest child took out a piece of paper, with their grandfather’s name and telephone number printed on it, said, “I heard mom and dad said they’re going to kill themselves”, Dai immediately notified the active office, and asked the patrol officers who are online to help out with the searches, as the grandfather and eldest uncle were contacted, they’d both rushed to the subprecincted, asked, “can you please help find them quick!”

The police investigated, that before the incident, the father of the children had texted the eldest brother, asked him to take care of the three young children, his eldest immediately told him, “whatever it is, we’ll talk at home”, the police set up the GPS tracking systems, to find the location of the couple, at a little past midnight, they were confirmed, to be at the mountainous region of Shulin, they’d immediately notified the local authorities, and the fire department to help with the search.

As the police, the fire department rushed to the area, found the sedan, and found, that the exhaust pipe had been connected to a duct, that led into the car, they’d immediately opened the doors, the father is already out, but his wife is still half-conscious, they’d immediately rushed them to the hospital, and, they’re okay now.

The police found, that the couple three years ago, suspected of avoiding the debts, went southward toward Taichung from Banciao, then, lost contact with the family, and this time they’d driven up north, they’d left their kids alone with the relatives.  The Hsinbei Social Services Department already placed the three young boys, and is now, counseling the family of five, hoped, to return the children to their family of origin, so they can all be together again.

So, this, is still, a VERY awful example that the parents set for the children, and, thankfully, the oldest son, who was only NINE had the smart mind, to notify the police, because if he hadn’t, can you imagine how he’d be carrying the causes of his parents’ death on his shoulders???

 

 

 

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Growing Up Too Fast, Issues of the Society, Kids Raising Kids, Life, Losing Sight of What's Important, News Stories, Social Issues, Suicides, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Divorce Gets UGLY

Because there’s NO “good” in goodbye, despite what it reads!!!

Divorce gets ugly, because, we’d be play the kids against each other, and, for them, it’s either that I’m on mommy’s side, betraying daddy, or that I’m on daddy’s side, betraying mommy…

Divorce gets ugly, and, we have YET to discuss the TERMS of our alimony agreements, no, this, is only the “pre-planning” stage of things here.  Divorce gets ugly, so, looks like I’ll need my supply of grenades, cannons, guns, uzis, along with an ASSORTMENT of weapons for ASSAULT, and, we still don’t CARE who we end up hurting, we just want to GET each other back.

Divorce gets ugly, as it’s supposed to, and, there’s no, let’s go back to being friends after this, after all, we’d TORN up this love, left one another hurting like hell, and, nobody CAN and WILL EVER forgive, OR forget a betrayal in THAT kind of D-E-P-T-H.

Divorce gets ugly, and, we’re still NOT the only casualties of this god DAMN war we’d started, there are, what are THEIR faces again???  You know, those young ones, that we’d “procreated”?  You know?  What ARE they called again?  Oh yeah, our O-F-F-S-P-R-I-N-G?  Do you not remember T-H-E-M???

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Filed under Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Scapegoating, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

A Seventeen-Year-Old Stole Condoms, the Fourteen-Year-Old Who Was Uninvolved Took the Fall for $3,500N.T.s

An example of a mother’s selfishness, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Chen’s seventeen year old high school son shoplifted condoms from a super convenience store, after the cops came to her, she’d told her son’s middle school classmate to take the fall for her son, but she didn’t pay him the specified amount, and the youngest son’s classmate told his father about how “I’d acted as a thief on someone else’s behalf, and I didn’t get paid enough.”, and that, was how this case busted wide open.

The Hsinbei District Attorney’s Office prosecuted Chen based off of enticing someone else to confess to a crime s/he didn’t commit, and asked for a sentence; her sons’ classmates were turned over to juvenile courts to processes.

The D.A. found out, that Chen knew that her eldest son didn’t have his motorist license, and still gave him her motorcycle to ride; at the beginning of August this year, the son shoplifted a box of condoms into his pant pockets, then, rode off with his young girlfriend.

The store clerk found that something was taken from the shop, reviewed the surveillance and called it in; the police could tell that it was a youth who’d committed the shoplifting, and found the owner of the motorcycle from the license plate, and took the footage to her house, and asked her if her motorcycle had been stolen, or if she knew the thief in the footage.

Chen recognized that it was her eldest right away, but said, that she knew who he was, and after she got to the bottom of the whole story, she’ll have someone go to the subprecinct to explain; back then, the classmate from her younger fourteen-year-old son was over, she’d pulled the boy to the side, told him, that if he was willing to confess to taking the item from the super convenience shop, then, she will give him $3,500N.T.s.

After the middle schooler agreed, he’d gone to the subprecinct immediately, and, no matter what the police asked, he’d answered how Chen told him to, and after he’d taken the fall, he’d gone back to Chen, to claim his prize, but, she’d only paid him $2,000N.T.s; after he’d gone home, he’d complained to his father, “I’d helped out being a thief and gotten ripped off”, his father inquired further, then, pulled his son to the subprecinct to get all of it on record, and told the cops that the man in the footage was not even remotely like his son.

As the court held its session, Chen confessed, claimed that she just didn’t want her son to have a record, said that her eldest wanted to buy condoms but was bashful to do so, that, was why he’d shoplifted it.  And the middle school told of what had happened in court, and, his father started telling Chen off, that she’d only thought about not wanting a record for her own son, but had destroyed someone else’s son.

Here, you still have some really BAD parenting behaviors, the mother, because she didn’t want her son to have a police record, she’d asked someone else to take the fall, for her son’s shoplifting…

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Choices, Early Exposures, Issues of Morality, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, News Stories, Observations, Scapegoating, Spoiling Children, The Teenage Years

A Man Murdered the Woman with Whom He Was Having an Affair with, the Son Helped the Father Dispose of the Body, and His Wife Spoke on His Behalf

A man who not only managed to MURDER his whore, he’d also gotten his wife, and his son involved, and now, they’re both, ACCOMPLICES here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The long-haired Jane Doe found in the mountain regions of Taoyuan, Long Tang Mountain, after over one thousand DNA comparisons, the police finally found out, that the woman was Tseng, yesterday, the police arrested the leader of the PTA of a certain high school, Huang, he’d admitted to strangling his spare to death, along with burying her, his wife and son were also involved in the conspiracy for murder, along with disposing of the body, the family of three were charged on murder, Huang was taken into police custody, and his wife was on a fifty thousand dollar bail.

The police investigated and found, that Tseng was the president of the PTA of a certain elementary school, very beautiful looking, and had met up with Huang (age 43), the president of a certain high school’s PTA; Huang invited Tseng into participating in the Lion’s Order, and even though, both are married, but, because they’d spent a lot of time together, they’d fallen in love, started last June, they started going to functions together, and some of the club members were misled into believing that they were, a couple.

During the time they were together, Tseng had asked Huang to divorce his wife, but Huang refused, and asked to break up with her.  On the early morning of August 2, Tseng got drunk, and went to Huang’s house in a cab, wanted him to choose between her and his own wife.  Tseng got into a verbal altercation with Huang’s seventeen year-old son, and it’d waken up the couple too, and the four of them fought.

After Huang was angered, he’d used a bat, beaten Tseng to unconscious, and he’d stopped his own wife from calling the ambulance, he’d hauled the woman to the car with his son’s help, drove to Longtan County, Gushan District, and he’d strangled her to death, stripped her nude, dumped her body into the grasslands, after he’d driven his own son home, he’d bought a farm tool, and buried her there on his own.

Two months later, a remote control airplane “pilot” lost his toy in the area, went to pick up the airplane that he’d lost in the region, and found the remains of the woman by accident, back then, the police mistook it for the body of Lee, but the police realized that it wasn’t her, because the DNA didn’t match, that it was another murder case.

The Detective Squad, the First Detective Team of Taoyuan, along with the Longtang subprecinct worked together, to match the DNA, but because there was only false teeth and jaws that remained, the police searched and inquired over a thousand dentists, and sorted through the over hundred of the missing population, in the end, they’d found that the mold was a match to Tseng in a dentist’s office in Chungli, Taoyuan, then, they’d used Tseng’s eldest daughter for the DNA comparisons, and the remains were Tseng’s.

The specialist team searched the social life of the deceased, and found that the last telephone number was dialed for a cab to get her to Huang’s place, and that same day, Huang had gone on an outing with his friends of the Lion’s Club, and his group member said, that Huang looked out of it, and had gone to the car to catch up on his sleep, that this was out of place, and so, the police suspected Huang’s involvement.  Two mornings ago, when Huang and his wife was about to go on the airplane to go to Guanxi, China, the police feared that they have the desires to make their escape, they’d taken the family of three back to the precinct for questioning.

Huang admitted to murdering and burying his lover, and Huang’s wife claimed that her husband told her, “I’d buried her,” and the son nodded in agreement too, that he saw how his father strangled the woman to death through the car windows; after the interrogations, the police took the couple to the district attorney’s office, and the son was taken to juvenile court for processing.

So murder became a “family affair” here, didn’t it?  And, it all started when the woman with whom the man was having an affair with wanted to end it, and, he could’ve let her go, but he didn’t, perhaps because he believed that he’d invested so much emotion into the relationship, and now the woman wanted out, and that angered him, and so, he’d murdered his whore, and had his son and his wife help him with the cover up.

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Love Became Murder, Messed Up Values, Murder

Using the Kids to Restrain Your Husband

This, is NOT only a BAD idea, but, it’s also, BAD parenting too!!!

Using the kids to restrain the husband, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!  I mean, it’s an amazing idea, isn’t it?  You would NOT only be able to manipulate your spouses (one at a time!) into staying by your sides, you will also BE able to restrain them, from fucking ALL their whores too.

Using the kids to restrain your husbands, it’s an amazing idea, at first, after all, he’d done you wrong, and, how amazing revenge will feel, after you’d managed, to turn your kids against their own father?  Using your kids to restrain your husbands, it may work, for a short while, but eventually, it won’t work, because you can’t keep your eyes, GLUED to your hubbies’ (one at a time!!!) behaviors at all times, can you?  How tiring would THAT be!!!

Using your kids to restrain your husband, that, is what we all should learn how, after all, all those LOSERS care about are their S-P-A-W-N-S, and besides, after we’d popped those kiddies out, our “values” greatly depreciates, don’t it?  And no, all of the above is still NOT my point of view………so, don’t BE M-I-S-T-A-K-E-N there…

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Family Dynamics, Messed Up Values

Used to Not Having Him Around

I got used to not having him around as a child, he was the man how was known as my father, the man who donated a FUCKING (oopsy!!!) T-A-D-P-O-L-E to my MOTHER (the woman who’d carried me inside of her uterus???)…

We’re all used to not having him around, our DEADBEAT fathers, and, I mean, why would we want him around?  ‘Cuz every time when he came back, he’d beaten mama up, and, we’d hid, behind those doors NOT quite closed, and watched, as we muffled up the noises we may be making…

Used to not having him around, that, was the deal with our absentee father, he only sent our mother the money to keep up, the money for food, for the car, for the clothes on our back, and, oh, don’t forget, for our school tuition as well, and, other than providing for us economically, there’s NOTHING that he’d given to us.

Used to not having him around, and, I’d gotten used to having this GHOST of a has-been, and besides, me, myself, I, (that’s still the THREE of “us”), are all doing fine without him………

Used to not having him around, but W-H-Y?  He should’ve been around for you, and, it would be your right now, to DEMAND the time he missed in your life back, so, go after him, claim those lost times, you have the right to, you know that, right???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Carelessness of Adults, Cost of Living, Life, Observations, Trends, Values, Wake Up Calls

Don’t Make Your Kids Choose Sides

A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON, for ALL you parents out there!!!  Translated…

On Mid-Autumn Festival, as the friends and families gathered for a barbeque, in the encouragement of everybody, Coco, who’s in kindergarten worked up his courage and started performing the dirty dancing routine he’d just started learning, his cute looks had everybody worked up.  Coco’s mom was so proud, said, “See, I was right, in insisting that he took up dirty dancing lessons.”  Coco’s dad wasn’t going to let her win, “Had I had my way, and had him taken music lessons, he would’ve done a WHOLE lot better!”  Coco’s mom upped her pitch, “Hey, that’s MY son, I know him best!”  Coco’s dad got mad now, “What you mean, is that I don’t know my own son then?”, a war between the parents was about to start now.

The flames extended from beneath the barbeque racks to between Coco’s parents, and, everybody who was there lowered their heads and kept at their food, some of their friends had chosen to keep quiet, and, Coco’s parents shifted their focus, they turned to their son, asked, “Who do you think is right?”  “Do you love daddy, or mommy more?”, and, ALL of a sudden, everybody shifted their focus of attention to Coco, how’s now, stunned, and NOT knowing how to reply.

In daily life, I’d come across these sort of parents who told their kids to choose sides, and in the end, the child was confused as to how to react.  The parents only wanted proof of their own views, sometimes, they’re merely curious of the child’s reactions, without knowing, that this, may damage the child.  The following three points are what the adults should avoid.

  • Don’t Make the Kids Choose Sides

Avoid questioning the child, “Do you like mommy or daddy better?” or questions such as “is mommy right, or is daddy?”  The child is deeply in love with both parents, but when we’d inquired them who they liked more, it would shake up their values of “loving and respecting both parents equally at the same time”, “picking NO one”, could also destroy the credibility of the parents to the offspring, and, it would make the kids feel so guilty, for not choosing the parent they didn’t choose.

  • Try Not to Criticize Your Partner in Front of Your Offspring

    1. Even though parents have faults, but the kids would still believe that they’re the most important people in their lives.  And when we often complained about each other, or criticize our partners, the child may become confused, “Do I need to dislike the person s/he disliked?”  “If I’m closer to the other parent, will it be viewed as a betrayal to this parent now?”  Some of the parents, after complaining about each other, had asked their kids to keep it a secret, wanted the child to still respect the one being criticized, this would confuse the child, and cause her/him to have cognitive dissonance.
  • Try to Avoid the Roles of Good Parent/Bad Parent

This, is another often-seen scenario: let one party play the role of the bad parent who’s strict, and punishes, while the other would put on the nurturing.  This would not only create a distance between the child and the disciplinary parent, it would also cause the one who played the role of the “bad parent” have difficulties expressing the love s/he has toward her/his child.  And still, the warmth from the cares and concerns and teaching is NOT gender oriented, if both parents could exert the gentleness and the strict hand in discipline, it would be a precious and a valuable role model for the children.

“Children are the apples of the parents’ eyes”, that, is a sentence we all know too well, but actually, when the child is growing up, the child also plays the role of the biggest fan, the guardians for the parents as well.  Since when they were younger, the parents would solve problems that they may have, to protect them from being hurt, to provide them with what they needed in life, and to play the role of the accompaniment and the support, and all of this love and endless giving, is going to be important in the children’s lives, some kids at school would get into arguments or fights when their classmates made fun of their parents.

The arguments between a husband and a wife is unavoided, but, do NOT get your child involved into your adult wars.  If your child walks in on your in the midst of a spat, use rationalism, and respectful manners to communicate with each other, so the child will learn, that even though, there are moment of differences of opinions, there is a better way to resolve.  Do remember, don’t get them in the middle to “choose sides”, this, for your young, is the most hurtful thing of all.

Sometimes, we use our kids as weapons to HURT one another, without realizing, that the ones we’re hurting is JUST not each other and ourselves as well, the kids are also getting hurt in the process, and still, there are a TON of parents out there who constantly put their kids under this sort of duress, why IS that???

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Carelessness of Adults, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Social Issues, Socialization, Translated Work, Vicious Cycle

A Bad Role Model

The lesson that a parent learns from her son, what???  It happens, you know that, right???  Translated…

On the weekends, I’d invited the whole family to come on a hiking trip, and we’d gone on the MRT Wen-Hu Line to the place to meet, and, there was something wrong with the systems.

The very next day, the Taipei MRT gave a refund, and so, on Monday morn, I’d ushered everybody to head over to the MRT stations to get it processed.

My child replied, that day, we’d gone to the Jien-Nan stop to meet, that we shouldn’t use the crack in the system and use it as an excuse for getting a refund, that it’s NOT called savings, it’s called taking advantage.  I was so shocked, that I wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide in it, I taught my child, NOT to take advantage of a situation, and yet, here I was, doing exactly that.

As my child was growing up, I’d taught him to save up every penny, to turn the money he’d found on the streets into the police stations, and I’d made donations, to foundations, and, the foundations would give the money to those in need, to help the society out.  And now, my child pointed out my wrong values toward money, I must tell my kids, “I’m sorry, children, I was wrong, mom loves you very much, it’s a good thing that you are with me!”

And so, this adult here, was making a bad role model, and, her son corrected her, and, she realized, that she was merely preaching the right values to her kids, but NOT actually acting in accordance to the values that she’s preaching to them, but after her son pointed it out to her, she is surely to improve.

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Child Development/Education of Children, Communications, Cost of Living, Hindsight, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Self-Images, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Values, Wake Up Calls

The King of Mistakes & the Queen of Forgiveness

We have here, ANOTHER CLASSIC abuser/enabler “relationship”, but, let’s just wait and see, how these two manage, shall we???

The king of mistakes, had made, ONE more (and no, it still won’t BE his last!!!) mistakes, and, he’d crawled BACK, on ALL fours (what does THAT look like???  Woof!  Woof!), to the Queen of Forgiveness, and, that, being HER name, naturally, as you would’ve guessed, she’d forgiven him, of ALL the evils he’d done, and, took him BACK into her arms, her bed, even, her PANTIES.

The king of mistakes, when the HELL is this LOSER gonna learn, from his mistakes?  The answer would be, the first day of N-E-V-E-R, and, never, is still a long, long, L-O-N-G ways away, from the kingdom where the king of mistakes and his queen of forgiveness lives.

The queen of forgiveness, that, is her nature, being forgiving, like ALL mothers are, of their own offspring’s bad deeds, but, she FAILED to realize, that her H-U-S-B-A-N-D, the king, is NOT her son, and yet, she’d still hovered over him, like HIS mama had done.

 

 

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