Right to Bear Arms, Discrimination, Hate: the Law Enforcement Overuse of Firearms Causing Death Increased in Prevalence, a Long Way from the Reforms

How the overflowing availabilities of gun is one problem, and how the police’s overuse of gun power is another, and there are, other factors to consider in this, and until the U.S. tackles every one of these factors, and change the means of training, and how the police forces “equate” colors with threat, there are going to be more, racially related murders by guns in the U.S., that’s not going to change, NOT anytime soon!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Yesterday, the news from Tennessee of the five African American police officers in an arrest, beaten an African American teen to death, this caused the local communities and the African American communities to start protesting.  The American President, Biden stated that he was angered by this and felt heartbroken over what had happened; the former president, Obama stated, that there’s a long ways to go, to reeducate the police forces on how they patrol the streets.

But, a lot of people want to know, how come, there are, the growing number of cases where police in enforcing the law, civilians were being, murdered off?  And, how come, most of the victims of the police brutality, why are they mostly African American males?  For instance, from the March 1991 case where the African American male, Rodney King, was brutally beaten by three LAPD officers, causing the riots in L.A. back in 1992; along with the May, 2020, a middle-aged African American male got choked to death with the police choking his throat in Minnesota by the officers on duty, which started up the “Black Lives Matter” movement all around the U.S.  Clearly, the American police’s overuse of forces causing the African American citizens to get killed still continues on to this very day.  But why?  I sum up the five main causes here: first, the legal ownership of guns: because the American citizens are allowed to legally own arms, the excessive guns in the current situation in the States right now, everybody feared getting shot, so everyone owns a gun (for self-defense), casing the vicious cycle of distrusting one another.  And due to the legal ownerships of guns, there are many shootings, the guns going off in accidents (including school shootings, the six-year-old student shooting a school teacher).  Due to the excess of arms causing the officers on duty to become hypervigilant, which leads to the next cause.

Secondly, the police’s life are at all moment, in danger: because of the excess of weapons, the police’s natural reaction is that they automatically assume that the citizens they came into contact with are, armed.  And, under this mindset, the officers on duty worried over getting shot by the ordinary citizens, which led them to become extremely alert, to stay, alive, to prevent getting killed.  And, behind this state of mind, is relative to these three following factors.

Third, the problems of racism remain unresolved: the racism in the U.S. is still growing more and more serious, no matter if it’s toward African Americans, Asian Americans, they were the racial slurs, and the discriminatory behaviors against these minorities.  And, the African Americans are the least advantageous, which causes the vicious cycle, with the crime rates in the areas of African American residents being higher too than average; or, the officers on duty holding that higher level of alertness toward the minority groups.

Fourth, the hate that comes from being discriminated again.  This hate, with the excessive supplies of firearms, will cause many more lives to get, lost.  For instance, there’s the elderly Asian killing the Asian woman, and how in the outbreaks, the Asians often became targeted, all of this has to do with hate and fear, and racism.  And so, when hate is in place, and the guns are easily owned, there are, the built up of the murders in the society all around the U.S.

Fifth, the training of the officers should emphasize: the difficulties in resolving all of the above issues, or at least, for the time being, or in the, near future too.  But, we can use the police training to help the law enforcement become more aware, to strengthen the means of justice in police enforcing of the law.  Because the American police are local, not of federal matter; it’s hard to say, that this sort of education can get set up on the state of local government levels.  Or maybe, other than the functions of fighting crimes, the police forces needed to go through the continued education, trainings, the awareness seminars, to help reduce these, tragedies.

And so, this summed up why and how come, there are, so many, hate crimes, overuse of force in police in carrying out the laws in the U.S., causing the people to die: the overflowing of GUNS, because it’s our SECOND AMENDMENT right to BEAR arms!

But, if the guns aren’t that easily accessible, then, those shooters can’t get their hands on them, and, there would be, surely, a whole lot deaths caused by guns.

I agree, that police need more training, and, that this is a impossible thing to accomplish, because, as studies (don’t ask me which ones) showed, that colored persons are more easily misperceived as holding up a WEAPON when we’re holding up something harmless, like a pen, as interpreted by the police, because the law enforcement officials had been “groomed” to equate skin colors with danger, and this is rooted down too deep, and it can’t be changed that easily.  So yeah, EXPECT more of us who are, “minorities” to DIE by gunshot here.

When Everything “Nurturing” is Assigned a Female Sex

This is still, S-H-I-T, I mean, who the @#$% (maxed out!) says, that nurture is synonymous with the, female gender characteristics, huh?

And, what OF, those FEMALE heads of companies, the C.E.O.’s of some, Fortune 500s that make ALL the decisions, and tackles the problems of the companies’ operations, assertively, huh?

But, that’s just it, since the start of time (don’t ask how long ago that was, ‘cuz…how the @#$% would I know???), you men put us, women, IN our places, locking us up with those, chastity belts (uh, you’ve got to be shitting me!), keeping us inside them, gilded cages, and you head out of the “hearth” (the WHAT again???), and bring home the bacon, the bread, going out, hunting with them, big-ass, clubs………………

and THIS, would be, MORE like it!

found online…

Which forces the role of the nurturer, onto us, women, because IF we don’t take up that role, then, who’s gonna!  And this is just how sexism continues, even today, and yeah, we women are slowly getting on an equal basis with all of you, mother @#$%ING, sons-of-BITCHES (still not the four-legged “varieties” I’m afraid…), but we’re still, not quite there, at the same level as you losers out there.

And this is still just SHIT, I mean, why the HELL should we women, suffer the consequences, of those who are before us, who are used to living the role of the “fitting wife”, the good mother, the nurturing, type?

I mean, what if (here’s that though!), we want to focus on our job, we are, career-oriented, like you losers, huh?  Then, we’d get TRASH talked, for NOT taking CARE of the “hearth”…

Yeah, you’ve got to be, shitting me here!

Boundaries

The schemata of how we interpret things, which got exacerbated by what was told to us, adding to the stereotypes, which made us get into the flight mode, translated…

I’d stayed in the third largest city of the U.S., Chicago for a time.

Before I set out, the contacts of University of Chicago notified me, that they’d set me up for the international student dorms, that a lot of the shorter stay exchange students or the scholars all live there, that it’s a, “safe” location.

I couldn’t understand what the man meant “safe”, started guessing at it, was it the earthquakes?  The typhoons?  Or, the threats from the Chinese missiles?  And clearly, it was, NONE of these.

The contact also told me, because I had a mediocre length stay, and it was in the middle of the semester, that if it was during the summer vacations, I could find a room to rent from a student who’d gone home, that it would be cheaper, and closer to the school, that it would be, “safer”.

Another matter of safe and safter, the man kept mentioning the word, “safety”, and it’d made me imagined the gun shooting scenes in the American movies, and I couldn’t help but, trembled, and started wondering on the “difference between safe and safer”, and, with my language barrier, I would have to live at a “safer” location, why would I want to risk being just, “safe”? 

Perhaps, my contact noticed my trouble, he’d immediately told me, “don’t worry!  You live on 59^th Street, 59^th north up to 49^th is all safe, just don’t go over 59^th~”

This made me worry even more, south of 59^th is dangerous, doesn’t that means, that I live, on the “borders”?  Then, how can I be certain of how what’s “unsafe”, doesn’t break the boundaries?  Or, is the real boundaries of “unsafe” actually on 60^th or 61^st, 59^th could be, farther away, from what’s, “unsafe” then?  But, what is the measurements, the considerations of this, means of, “safety”?

After a long, long ride, close to twenty hours since I’d landed, I’d finally, arrived at the gates of the international student dormitories, it was a road of at least, eight lanes, a freeway with all the cars rushing by, like a river that you can’t see the other side of.  There’s the widened island in the middle of the road, the green trees grew on that island, and I can’t seem to find a pedestrian’s crossing section.  I’d finally understood, the boundaries of “safety” of the 59^th then.  I’d thought, what weaves to and from, in and out of this, boundary, perhaps, are nothing more than the pigeons, and the, sparrows.

Every day, I’d trekked to and from the international dorm and the school, and on the weekends, I’d gone to Lake Michigan to stroll.  As it was winter, there’s, nothing but snow on the streets.  And, I’d started, bumping across those riding out on their bicycles or the joggers, those who’d brushed shoulders with me, no matter the skin colors, they all, looked, decent, enough, and clearly, the local residents were with, higher levels of, education, with good jobs, and, so this, is a, “good” district.  I’d always, stared dumbfounded across the other side, looking up at the clouds overhead, imagined what the trees covered up, what’s, on the, other side?

One day, a few of my lab mates were driving out.  All the way, we were all chatty, and getting into good conversations, and then, suddenly, after a turn, everybody fell, silent, and, the streets were, sunken, in the, darkness of the rustiness of the steel, and, even if the colors are painted with brighter colors…………as I saw the faces of those who’d been living in Chicago for long, as a newbie, I’d, come to know, and, started, making myself, scarce in the seats.

At this time, the engine started, making the weird noises.  The driver started, sweating now, the passenger next to the driver, with his eyes opened wide, as if mumbling, “why did you have to turn in here”, and questioning, “did you get this car tuned up on time?”, at the same time, alerted to watch the goings on of the window, with one hand, clenching the handlebar over the window tight.

The engine that sounded like it was dying, was totally a contrast to the hearts beating in the car then, I’d felt heated u, but that cold sweat started, rolling down my spine.  Then, a few more blocks, the car, died.  And the three large guys by the side of the road noticed us, and the driver started getting, panicky, there’s no other pedestrians, no other cars anywhere near us.  The large man moved slowly, the driver quickly pressed the central door lock systems, and we had all, started, hyperventilating, and the driver started the keys in the ignition over, over, and over, I’d squinted my eyes to the lines.  “Could it be that he’s here, to offer us help?”, a thought came to me, but I’d not, dared, blurt it aloud……………

It’s moving, it’s moving, the car is, moving, I’d looked through the rearview, saw the large men spreading their arms out, and, shrugging, away.

Then, I kept on wondering, maybe, they were there, to help us out, it’s just, that invisible border of the stereotypes are like the boundary of the 59^th, like that huge gap that none of us can, and were, willing to, cross, to the point that as I’d asked my friends later, if they would, live through it again, will they still have run in a hurry, they’d responded, that they, would.

And so, this is how the stereotypes can get so deep in us, that we get into the mindset of automatically separating people into the categories that we were, socialized to put them in, and that’s just wrong, because if you don’t get to know the individual personally, how can you tell if the person is good, or bad, just based off of their, skin colors?

What We’re Told Not To Talk About – Christine E. Ray — Brave & Reckless

we liked you better when you were a girl with your mouth muzzled shut by strong adult hands seen but not heard on your scabbed bony knees easily rendered docile compliant we liked you better when you were young held the shared secrets close carried the blame our blame as if it were your own […]

What We’re Told Not To Talk About – Christine E. Ray — Brave & Reckless

When a Woman Drives Around in Her New Porsche

When a woman drives around in her new Porsche, people started questioning, if she’d found, a new “sugar daddy”, whereas when a man drives around in his new Porsche, everybody takes it as normal, because he earned his own way, and why is that, huh?

Because the society is still feeding all of us these stereotypes of the gender expectations, like how we women are, incapable, of making the big bucks (take a look to see how many women are C.E.O.s of those Fortune 500s???), and yet, we’re still, forced to, put up, with these sorts of SHITS, of societal expectations of how we aren’t expected to make, more than you do!

and, there’s still, NOTHING wrong with this, picture, is there? Of course N-O-T!

photo from online

When a woman drives around in her new Porsche, everybody automatically get into the mindset of thinking, “wow, lucky her, for finding herself, a sugar daddy to buy what she wanted”, without thinking that hey, maybe the woman has ability and is, more capable than most men she knew, after all, she may well be a C.E.O., of some company that you ain’t, NEVER heard of (because you’re way too stupid???  No offense, but feel free!).

So, STOP ASSuming (b/c the world’s already, full of, @#$%ING, ASSholes!) that if a woman drives around in her brand new Porsche, then it must be a present from the sugar daddy she’s “kept by”.

Besides, WE women, are our own separate “owners”.  We have the SOLE PROPRIETORSHIP, over our own, separate lives here!

The Female Officers Shouldn’t Have Their Hair Tied Up in a Ponytail, Instead, It Should be in a Bun, on Gender Discrimination

If THIS is NOT sexism, I don’t know WHAT would be, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Kaohsiung city’s police department awhile ago, mandated that if the female officers have long hair, then, they MUST braid their hair up in buns, instead of wearing their hair in ponytails, and this caused the entry level officers’ displeasures; the Kaohsiung City Police Department told, that this, is the rule set up by the police department headquarters, that the city was merely, “enforcing the rules”.  Based off of understanding though, other cities elsewhere doesn’t forcefully make the female officers tie their hair up into buns, it’s quite prevalent, that female officers wear their hair in ponytails.

On the Facebook Fan’s page, “Police Suck”, there were female entry level officers who’d disclosed, that the manager’s office of Kaohsiung Police Department, on the 2^nd of this month, issued an “most urgent” notice, stated how the rules of appearances for the police department from twelve years ago had already stated, “Female officers should NOT wear their hair braided, when they’re in uniform, their hair shall NOT exceed shoulder length; and when the hair exceeded shoulder length, the officers MUST wear it up into a bun, and must use black bands to tie up the hair.”, the article also mentioned, that recently, there were female officers who went on calls in their ponytails, and were asked to wear their hair differently.

The female officer who’d disclosed this had said, “saving the hair, losing the head, saving the head, losing the hair”, the rule of having the female officers braid their hair up into buns will cause them a TON of time to get ready, “When you’re out on the field, it’s the speediness that counts, NOT how good you looked.”  “Are we all going to become like those ladies from Tzu-Chih?”; plus, when they rode out on their motorcycles, “how the hell are we supposed to put our helmets on?”

The head inspector from the Kaohsiung police department, Lee said, because there had been sightings of female officers’ ponytail passing shoulder-length, and there were, quite a number of them, that the office was merely, “showing concerns” for the entry level employees, and will take the opinions of the workers into considerations, and report it up to the upper levels, and, to discuss it further.

Lee explained, that when the female officers are out on calls, if there were physical altercations with the bad guys, then, they may get their hair pulled, that there are safety concerns on the issues, but for now, they’re not going to reprimand the female officers who don’t follow the rules of tying their hair up in a bun when they come to work.

Recently, there had been multiple subprecincts that had received “warnings” from the inspector’s offices, and there were uniformed female officers who’d voiced their concerns on the matter, and, all they got was the replies of “it’s the rules!”

The entry level female officer told, that it’s easier, to tie their hair up in ponytails, it’s swift, that she’d never compromised her own safety, or the safety of others, wearing her hair in a ponytail, as she went on calls, “It’s too far-fetched, tying the problems of safety with our ponytails”, plus, wearing the hair in a bun, it takes too much time, and you must use a pin to keep it in place, the hair would mess up easily.  There were angry female officers who’d stated, that does that mean that ALL female officers who wear their hair in ponytails would get subdued by the bad guys?  That this, is thinking using the masculine mindsets to judge the female officers’ way of working.

The entry level female officers believed, that when they went out on calls, and wear their hair up in a bun, it would be uncomfortable, having to put their helmets on; and if the police department decided to enforce the rules, they will all, trim their hair short.

The female officer who’d told about this said, that she hoped, that in not affecting the way that the officers appeared, do give the female officers, the same amount to respect, and the right to decide, “This, is a good time, to remind those higher up officials, our superiors, to think hard, about keeping up with the looks!”

So, if this is NOT sexist, then, I don’t know what is!  I mean, hello, just because the ladies wear their long hair in ponytail, that still doesn’t make their work less efficient, and, I’m sure, that it would matter LESS, if a female officer in a bun manages to catch a bad guy, or if it was, a lady officer in a ponytail, who’d caught a bad guy, and this rule for the police precincts is still jut SEXIST and BULLSHIT if you ask me, but hey, who asked Y-O-U!!!

Another Unarmed Man Got Shot by the Police…

Another Unarmed, Minority Man Got Shot by the Police…

Call it another case like Ferguson if you will, and, this will still, keep repeating itself, until the world E-N-D-S, from MSNNEWS.com, written by E.M. Johnson, edited by: C. Johnston, E. Beech…

Police officers who fatally shot a Mexican farm worker in Washington state after he pelted them with rocks fired 17 shots at the man, striking him five or six times, police said on Wednesday, in an incident that has fueled protests.

Antonio Zambrano-Montes, 35, an unemployed orchard worker from Mexico’s Michoacan state, was killed earlier this month in Pasco, a city of 68,000 residents in Washington state’s agricultural heartland, in a shooting captured on video.

His death sparked protests by demonstrators who accused Pasco police of overly aggressive tactics in dealing with the Hispanic community and who likened the shooting to two high-profile police killings of unarmed black men in Ferguson, Missouri, and in New York City.

Police said that officers responding to a report of a man throwing rocks at passing cars shot Zambrano-Montes after he began pelting them with rocks and ignored commands to surrender. They said a stun gun had also failed to subdue him.

Kennewick Police Sergeant Ken Lattin, a spokesman for a special unit investigating the case, told reporters on Wednesday that all three of the officers involved in the incident had fired their weapons.

“Did he have some sort of injury? Did he have some mental health situations that he was dealing with in the days and hours (before the incident)? Or was he under the influence of drugs? We need to know,” Lattin said.

A video of the incident uploaded to the Internet shows Zambrano-Montes running from officers and then briefly turning and raising his arm before he was killed. Police did not say where on his body was struck, but they did say he was not shot in the back.

Lattin said a rock was found next to Zambrano-Montes’ body. He was not armed with a gun or knife. Two of the officers were struck with rocks and treated at the scene.

Rights groups have urged the U.S. Justice Department to launch an investigation into the incident, which the Mexican government has condemned as a disproportionate use of lethal force. A lawyer for the man’s family has said his constitutional rights were violated.

The three officers involved in the incident, including one who is Hispanic, were placed on administrative leave pending an internal probe.

So, you still think that the world had improved, and changed that much???  Think AGAIN!!!  Because this kind of situation had happened, so many times already, and yet, civilization still NEVER learn, why IS that???  Why must we try to fit one another into those small, cubic boxes of race, gender, nationality, etc., etc., etc.???

Attacks Compel Muslims to Reflect, by: D. D. Kirkpatrick

From The New York Times International Weekly that came with the papers today…

CAIRO—The rush of horrific attacks in the name of Islam is spurring and anguished debate among Muslims here in the heart f the Islamic world about why their religion appears cited so often as a cause for violence and bloodshed.

The majority of scholars and the faithful say Islam is no more inherently violent than other religions.  But some Muslims argue that the contemporary understanding of their religion is infected with justifications for violence, requiring the government and its official clerics to correct the teaching of Islam.

“It is unbelievable that the thought we hold holy pushed the Muslim community to be a source of worry, fear, danger, murder and destruction to all the world,” President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi of Egypt lamented in a recent speech to clerics of the official religious establishment, calling for a “religious revolution.”

Others, thought, insist that the violence—such as the recent massacre of a dozen people at a French newspaper’s offices and the killings of four shoppers at a kosher grocery store in Paris—is caused by alienation and resentment, not theology.  They argue that the authoritarian rulers of Arab states—who have tried for decades to control Muslim teaching and the application of Islamic law—have set off a violent backlash expressed in religious ideas and language.  Promoted by groups like the Islamic State or Al Qaeda, that discourse echoes through Muslim communities as far away as New York or Paris, whose influence and culture still loom over much of the Muslim world.

“Some people who feel crushed or ignored will go toward extremism, and they use religion because that is what they have at hand,” said Said Ferjani, an official of Tunisia’s mainstream Islamist party, Ennahda, speaking about violence in the name of Islam.

Khaled Fahmy, an Egyptian historian, was teaching at New York University on September 11, 2001, after which American sales of the Quran spiked because readers sought religious explanations for the attack on New York.  “We try to explain that they are asking the wrong question,” he said.  Religion, he argued, was “just a veneer” for anger at the dysfunctional Arab states left behind by colonial powers and the “Orientalist” condescension many Arabs still feel from the West.

Only a very small number blame Islam itself.  “What has ISIS done that Muhammad did not do?” an outspoken atheist, Ahmed Harqan, recently asked on a talk show here, using common shorthand for the Islamic State to argue that the problem of violence is inherent to Islam.

His challenge provoked an outcry from Islamic religious broadcasters.  Salem Abdel-Gel-il, a scholar from the state-sponsored Al Azhar institute, fired back with Islamic verses about tolerance, peace and freedom.  Then he warned that the public espousal of atheism might land his opponents in jail.

Steven Fish of California, Berkley, sought to quantify the correlation between Islam and violence. In his book, “Are Muslims Distinctive?,” he found that murder rates were substantially lower in Muslim-majority countries and instances of political violence were no more frequent.

In the Muslim world, however, the debate over Islam’s connection to violence has been given new impetus in recent events: the military ouster of the Islamist elected as president of Egypt, Mohamed Morsi; the deadly crackdown on his supporters in the Muslim Brotherhood and a retaliatory campaign of attacks on security forces; and the rise of the bloodthirsty Islamic State in Syria and Iraq.

Mr. Sisi, a former general, led the ouster of the Islamic president in 2013 and the suppression of the Brotherhood on charges that it was a violent “terrorist group.” (The group has denounced violence for decades.)

Intellectuals supporting him have applauded his efforts and called for the state of lead a sweeping top-down overhaul of the popular understanding of Islam.  “Religious thought, or religious discourse, is afflicted with backwardness,” Gaber Asfour, the minister of culture, declared.

Many pro-government intellectuals consider the popularity of the Muslim Brotherhood an aspect of that awkwardness and argue that all such Islamist political movements are inherently violent—even if the groups publicly disavow violence.  “Their task is not becoming modern; it is become hegemonic again, making a new world in which Islam will be on top again,” argued Sherif Younis, a historian at the Helwan University here.

“Every fundamentalist has in mind a counter-regime, even if he does not know how to use a knife,” Professor Younis said.  That includes the mainstream Islamists of the Brotherhood and the ultraconservatives known as Salafis, as well as the overtly violent jihadist groups like the Islamic States of al-Qaeda, he said.

Others argue that the state control of the Muslim religious establishment only reinforces the problems.  Some say it is also naïve to expect unaccountable governments like Egypt’s that cannot provide a healthcare or education to do a better job leading religious reform.

“In an authoritarian society, there is no room for reasoned debate, so it is not surprising that irrational religious discourse is going to flourish in certain quarters of Egypt or the Arab world,” argued Mohammad Fadel, an Egyptian-American Islamic legal scholar at the University of Toronto.  “But the answer of these governments has been to double down on repression and that is only likely to increase the extremism.”

And so, the CORE of the Islamic being viewed as violent is totally BULLSHIT!!!  There are just a few of the members from the whole pool of the public that are acting out violent, and, we, in the modern and civilized world start labeling the REST of the population as way too M***ER F***ING violent?  C’mon, where’s the TOLERANCE?  Oh yeah, I forgot, because I wasn’t the one who got ATTACKED, so, I wouldn’t KNOW how those who were attacked or know those who were attacked feels like, right???  Think again!!!  I mean, I HAVE the empathies, but, do you???

 

 

 

 

She’s Way Out of His League

A Q&A, translated…

Q A pair of worried parents wrote…

Their daughter who graduated college this year, all of a sudden told them, that she fell in love with a man who is nine years her senior in high school, the man was twenty-six then.  And U only graduated from middle school, comes from a single-parent family; his eldest brother is unwed, his second eldest has two children.

After U divorced, his only daughter was in the custody of his ex-wife.  And, the whole family lived off of the shows they’d performed, only U started working odds and ends, to help supply for the family’s expenses.

Their daughter is very into her boyfriend, the mother said that U wasn’t well-educated enough, that he wasn’t from a good enough family, the daughter told her, “a high degree doesn’t mean good character either; nor does it mean, that he’ll be nice to you, to take care of the family, and may not have a steady job.  The boyfriend, U, wasn’t well-educated, sure, but he’s willing to work hard, doesn’t spend carelessly.  As to why he doesn’t have any money saved up?  Because he took care of his family, is a good son, took home ALL of his pay, didn’t keep a cent to himself, would rather have it hard himself, rather than having his mother deal with the hardships of life.  And, it wasn’t his choosing, to be born in such a lousy family, how could he be blamed?”  After knowing each other for so long, U had always been kind toward her, if he didn’t have good intentions, she would totally know, so why wouldn’t the parents let go of their stereotypes, and accept him?

The parents believed, that the daughter is WAY too good for the man, that she’s way out of his league, and that they’re worried, that their daughter might get tricked or scammed by him, because his twenty-six, and she was merely a high school student back then.  Neither wanted to back down, the parents didn’t have any other thoughts, they just wanted to pull their daughter back.

A My Opinion

The reason that the parents were against this, is mostly due to their socioeconomic statuses and level of education, feared that after their daughter married, she will have a TON of hardship to bear.  The problem is, the daughter had set up her mind, “I’m old enough, have my own thoughts, and can make my own decisions.  If he’d lied to me, or treated me wrong, there’s NO way I would stay by him for so long.” My advice, is that the parents should meet the man first, to get to know one another better.  And, even IF they’d met, it still may NOT change their prejudices.  It seems, that the daughter’s persistence is like a carriage with nine horses, pulling outward, and there’s nothing that the parents CAN do, to pull her back for the time being.  And I’m really surprised, as to how come this daughter had been dating U for over seven years, and the parents didn’t know about it, and, in these seven years, they’d already lost the influence over their daughter’s choice.

Change a thought, maybe, just open up about the rules, allow them to date, for another one, to two years on end, and, whether or not she’s way out of his league, so long as your daughter is willing to bear the consequences of her decision, however hard or easy it will be for her, it’s all her choice then.

And so, these parents fell absolutely HELPLESS, over how their daughter was insistent on dating this man, whom they believed, was LOWER in the status quo, than they are.  Well, parents, who the FUCK gave you the right, to judge someone, because he came from a bad family background?  Because you’re way too worried about your own flesh-and-blood’s wellbeing?  Isn’t it more important, that your daughter’s happy with this man, that she loves him, and isn’t it also important, that he treats her kind, takes care of her, even though, he doesn’t have ANY money?  The parents’ values are the ones that needed resetting in this one.

Changing Tracks, Gaining the Acceptance

On parent-child interactions, translated…

This year, my eldest daughter who’s in New York, entered into TWO international clothes design competitions: she’d earned the top prize from Spain; and in her entry in Italy, she’d gotten into top ten, and in July, she will enter into the finals.  These two international clothing design competition, my daughter was the only Taiwanese person who’d earned an award, and, she could be the pride of Taiwan, I suppose!

Recalling how years ago, when my daughter asked if she could change tracks, I not only didn’t encourage her, I’d even used sarcasms and mockeries, to show how unsupportive I was of her choice in life.  I’d used my way of thought from when I was raised, to put down my own children, not believing that my kids would have what it takes, to make their own dreams come true.  But now, my daughter, used what she has herself, and gained great accolades, that, was outside of my expectations that’s for sure, other than being happy about it, it made me introspect.

All the way to the top, my eldest daughter was filled with a TON of courage and hardship confronting her choice, originally, she’d already received a master degree in physical therapy from Yang-Ming University, she’d worked at the hospitals as a physical therapist for multiple years, she was paid very well, with steady scheduling too.  Other than work, she’d taken night courses on clothing designs at Shi-Jien University at night, it took her a total of a year and a half, for her to get her degree in that.  I thought, that that, was only her hobby from outside of work, without realizing, that she’s getting closer to her own personal goals in life.

One day, she’d abruptly told me she wanted to get a master in clothing design in the States, back then, I was furious, I strongly told her no.  Because that, was totally unrelated to what she’d taken her courses in before; I recommended that she go for a speech therapist degree, or to test for a therapist certificate in the States, that, would be the right thing to do.  Plus, her two younger sisters are still in school too, and we still have yet to pay up our home loans, economically, it would be hard, for us to give her any monetary supports.  I questioned her about why she didn’t choose the clothes designs major when she’d gone to college, then, it would’ve saved her this whole detour.  She asked us, “Would you have agreed?”

But, my daughter refused to get beaten, for her own dreams, she’d quitted her job at the hospitals, and entered into the economics department’s clothes design competition in Taiwan, she’d gotten first place in the 2010 competitions, at the same time, she’d passed her TOEFL exams, and sent her applications to two of the namely clothes designs graduate schools, and she’d gotten accepted in both, and was offered scholarships too, in the end, she’d chosen to head to New York to take courses in Parsons School of Designs.

And here, I want to give some advice, based off of my own experiences, respect, and believe in your own children, don’t be like me, careful on everything to the point of being unsupportive.  As parents, we should learn to let go when we are supposed to, allowing our kids to do what they enjoy, and, younger generations, if you still have dreams, go ahead, go after them!

And no, you still didn’t hear THIS from me, this, was the experience of a mother, who was all too UNSUPPORTIVE of her own offspring’s dreams, but, her daughter did NOT let the parents’ expectations beat her down, she still went AFTER her own dreams, and now, she’s an achieved clothes designer, she’d made it to the top, and now, the mother looks back, and see how wrong she was, and, had she been just a bit MORE supportive, then………well, it’s too late for that now, because we will eventually grow up, and then, we will NOT need you, parents, anymore!