Category Archives: Parent-Child Interactions

How to Tell When a Fish is Going on a Trip?

A few words of exchange between a father and a son, how a father gets, stumped by his own son’s, question, translated…

Summer: When we humans take trips, we take a backpack, that’s how we know we’re, going off.  When the fishes go on their trips, they only take with them their bodies, then, how would we know, that they’re, off then?

Me: how to tell, when the fishes are, going on their, trips…………

On that evening, the moments before I fell asleep, Summer rushed out of his bedroom, and asked me this question of “how to tell when the fish go on their trips.”  Back then, I was, stumped, couldn’t know how to reply.  He’d started, snickering, told me, “my question is, too hard for you, huh?”

We’d often, thought up of a ton of questions that we can’t answer for one another, that was, the game that Summer and I had, shared, during that period of time.

For instance, I’d, held a straight face, and asked him at age six, do you know who Kafka was?  As he’d looked at me confused, then, fallen into that state of, upset, I’d told him, with that cunning manner, it’s a difficult one I’d given you, huh!  And thus, began, the game of two, of us, father and son, and, we’d, given one another, a hard time too.  And afterwards, Summer started, asking me the questions, to attempt to, faze me.  For instance, he’d asked, why do the Herculean Beetle fly to our house?  I’d replied, the Herculean Beetles are nocturnal, because of the light in our living room, that’s why they’d, flown to the balcony.  He’d caught a humongous stick insect once, prodded me, why did the bug sway around when there’s, no wind to make it unsteady?  I’d immediately answered him, that it was pretending to be a twig swaying in the wind, to duck out from its predators, so it won’t get, eaten.

a child like this, with so many questions about the world…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

Every answer I gave, I’d, taken that tone of pride in my voice, so he couldn’t, question me.  Sometimes, my answers weren’t, precise enough, nor evaluated against the facts, no other reasons, but because I’m a father with the stronger pride.  As I’d slowly discovered, that Summer was coming up with more and more question that became, too abstract, and I’d started, stuttering then, and, given off hints, that I’d not known how to answer him.  Not long thereafter, Summer busted the bad quality of this game—when the questions are too ambiguous, or if they are the questions without the correct answers, then, he’d gotten the chance of, defeating me, and score for him, and, captured back that dignity of a son that he’d not owned originally.

Thinking back, these are, probably, the what-not-to-dos in parenting, forcing my own son to bust my own lacking in “field research” and just googled for the answers on the search engines, my own, laziness.

As the questions of “how to tell when a fish is off on its journey” surfaced, seeing how Summer was laughing secretively, I’d know, that I got, checked!  That this game was, totally, over for me!  And then, there would be, two, three years that follows, which I will be, answering to my bullshitting him, this was also, that biggest, boomerang that he, as a son, can thrown back at me, his father—daddy, can you prove what you’d just answered me?

It’s just, how, how do I tell, when a fish is, off on its, journey?  This difficult problem, should be researched, a someone with a doctoral degree, isn’t it?

In the era when YouTube is used to explain just about everything, trying to find a question that can, faze my son—this surely, isn’t a Q&A game that a father can fake his understanding of things, to fool his own young.

Broadcast Yourself?  That’s it, the game of father and son, it’s, merely, a father, playing, against, his own, self, to make himself feel more important.  It’s just, that now, my son only needed to, wiggle his fingers, and, he could quickly discover, that his father’s questions for him are all, questionable.  And I can only, sigh, that the challenges that the YouTube era gave to us, fathers, truly is, difficult.  On the thought, you, as a father, it doesn’t matter if you have a doctoral degree, or if you actually have a fish, we still can’t tell, precisely, if the fishes are, already, taking their, trips away.  For the children who had yet to grow up, they’d understand to communicate and understand the fish in the tanks, along with being best pals with your, fish.  This, we will, never, catch up to them.

And so, it’s not that hard, to tell, “when a fish is off on its, journey”, I only have one possible answer for now, I’ll ask the tea stewed egg a bit, maybe, I will, get an answer immediately.  Yep, my question isn’t, that easily, answered, huh?

P.S., Tea Stewed Egg is a cat owned by a friend.

And so, there comes a time in our lives, when our young come up with extraordinary questions, not to test us, not to beat us at our own games, but only to show, that they’re, growing cognitively by the day, and, in these moments we get, stumped, we will surely feel, embarrassed, because, mommy and/or daddy no longer have ALL the answers!  How’d that happen, huh?  Because the kids are, smarter by the generations here still…

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Urban Legend of Mr. Dinosaur

Yeah uh, mommy’s a liar, that fooled, EVERYBODY, including, the new janitors at the science museum too!  Translated…

“It’s said, that Mr. Dinosaur at the science museum will clock out and get off work at five, and before he goes home, he would check to see if there are any children who were in the museum, if there are, then, he’ll, grab them, take them home, and make them into his supper for the night.  Hear it, the music’s played, the older children are all heading toward the exit now.  Come, Mr. Dinosaur is about to, clock out”.  This, was the unproven, urban legend of the science museums, and the source of where this legend came from, only three person, know, two were eaten, by the dinosaur, while the third, I’m not, at liberty, to say.

like this clip, from A Night in the Museum, off of YouTube

Night at the Museum (1/5) Movie CLIP – Throw the Bone (2006) HD – YouTube

On this story, my three kids believed with absolutely, NO doubt, not only once, as they’d heard the music of closing time playing, they’d, grabbed my hand, and ran fast toward the exits, “Mr. Dinosaur is about to clock out!”  Once at the museum, they’d, dragged me to leave quickly, while the workers saw how cute they were, how they’d helped cleaning up the environment, they’d wanted to give them some origami, and heard them hollered aloud, “Come quick!  Mr. Dinosaur is about to get off work!”, the workers asked me what that was about.

And so, I can, only, given them hint, as they’d heard, they showed that look of, disbelief, then I’d added, “you just started working, a short while ago, right?  This is the urban legend of this science museum”, the workers looked at me with doubt, “is that real?”. “Yes!”, I’d, pointed at my kids who were, eager, to escape the museum, “look, how they’d, hurried now!”, and so, I was, able to, fool the museum workers too!

Yeah, so, the children aren’t the only ones who are, gullible here, the adults are too, and, anybody with a sound mind can tell, that the story of the dinosaurs coming to life and eating the children who are still in the museum after closing time, knows that it’s, a way a parent tries to get the kids home, because they’d, played for too long, hung out too long in the museums, and, the new workers are, fooled by this mom.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life, The Education of Children

The Greetings from the Children, it’s the Invitations of Their, Trust

The kid: why should I say hello?  The adults: because WE say so!!!  And that, is the wrong way, to socialize your children!  Translated…

During the New Year’s, a group of relatives gathered, in my memories, I’d always, become, fearful and nervous over this.  As a young girl, I didn’t take to strangers, and hated the loudness, and, as the adults started showing me too much attention, it’d, made me feel, uncomfortable.

The elders who’d come to visit, they’re all, mostly, strangers to me, and whilst I was still, in a daze, my father would pull me over, and urged me, “say hi to your elders”.  And yet, before I could react to the atmosphere that’s, gaining the momentum, couldn’t catch up to the paces of how my father and the adults were interacting, I’d gotten their words of displease.

I was too young to tell the adults, and can only, keep everything I feel inside, allowing it to accumulate, and, “greeting others”, “saying hi” became dreadful, instead of something I enjoyed doing, but “something I had to do!”

Time flew, I’d become, an “aunt”, and I’d found, that I was, really sensitive, like those adults were in my childhood, when the children didn’t greet me.  I’d found, that accumulated over the years anger, displease, upset, with the endless questioning of why when the adults tell us to, we need to do it, and now, their grandkids didn’t have to greet me, and they’d not, gotten, scolded, and were, tolerated?

查看來源圖片
a child who’s shy around strangers…this would be, difficult for them to cope, having them greet your adult friends and distant relatives…photo from online

Time is a good medicine, made our life experience, into wisdom.  I’d started to understand, that the older generations may carry with them that sense of lack of security, and needed to gain their sense of self-worth, sense of authority from without, and used “being greeted”, to satisfy their own needs of, being noted as someone worthy or important.  In the past when I was too young to differentiate, I’d taken it as my responsibilities, the adults’ demands of me, and became, too tried, and filled with anger.  And, as the adults felt upset because I didn’t greet them, it’s their emotions, while my choice related to, “What sort of a person do I choose to be”, finally, I’d, separated the responsibilities now, severed it off, I’d no longer, needed to, be responsible for the other individuals’ feelings, only responsible for my own behaviors, and feelings.

On that day, my younger cousin whom I don’t interact with regularly took his children, boys of age four and six to my house to visit, they’d, stared at me.  My cousin didn’t tell them who I am, nor demanded that they greet me.  I knew, that the kids weren’t familiar with me, that there’s no need to force them to connect.  I’d, called out to them, introduced myself to them as their aunt, continued holding conversations with them, when they got sidetracked and not eaten their meals like they should, I’d, gotten their attention back, and learned that it was my four-year-old nephew’s birthday on the day.

I’d told him, “happy birthday, finish your lunch first, I’ll give you a pudding for your birthday!”, then the child let his guards down, finished up the meal, my six-year-old nephew searched for me, and called out to me, “Aunty, do you want to play the storytelling board games later with us?”, and, I’d spent an afternoon of time in board games with my younger cousin and his family.  As the kids left, they’d not wanted to leave, and, eagerly made a date for our next, game date.

illustration from UDN.com

圖╱Betty est Partout

The kids are so straightforward, son naïve, and the adults needed to, let go of their hearts first, to learn to show cares and concerns toward the children first, to warm up with each other, and, as the emotions became, connected, the kids will trust you, and naturally, they would, interact with you more, and accept you, into their, worlds.

“Greeting”, is no longer something we must do on the holidays, with a little more thought, giving each other a little extra time, it can bring the joys of connections between people, and, what greater joys there are, than when a kid invites you to play the next time?

And so, this adult had, gained the awareness of what she’d hated of what her adult counterparts made her do, to greet everybody who came to the house, and, upon realizing, she’d, not demanded her own nephews to greet her, and this made them more comfortable, and they’d, connected to her more easily, and once the ice was broken, everything flowed, smoothly.

This still just showed, how you parents, should NOT MAKE us, your children greet those adults who are unknown to us, who are, YOUR friends or relatives!

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

A Lifelong Hobby

It’s NEVER good, to PUSH your children into something, instead, you should, allow them, to discover just how much they love that hobby you want them to take up, on their own, and, don’t force them to sit down at that piano, to practice for an hour each and every day, because that’s, torture, instead, allowing them, to discover their own hobby, by themselves, slowly, if they’re, mean to, translated…

After reading the writer, Tseng’s “Meeting Up Again with the Piano” on March 4th, it’d, made me recall my childhood memories, and extended into my current days.

My mother was an elementary school teacher, in the low wages of the fifties, she’d, squeezed out the tuitions, or us to go from the countryside of Chihshan to Kaohsiung to take piano lessons, and told us we all needed to sit at the piano and practice for an hour at least per day.

Being as young as we were, how would we know our parents’ hearts, in the three, four years of lessons, going to the piano teacher’s house was like going to the guillotine, I’d, hated it but not known, how to, rebel against it.

The pressures of keep going in my academic WAS, a great excuse for not taking the piano lessons anymore, seeing how my eldest and second eldest brother entering into the middle school years, getting away from the “guillotine”, and I, the only one who remained in the torture chambers.  This day had, finally, arrived, before the schools started in my middle school year, as the piano teacher played a new song for me, I’d told him, “I’ll be starting in middle school soon, I can’t take lessons with you anymore!”, seeing how shocked my piano instructor looked, I’d felt, that I’d, made my, revenge!

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a child that looks, engaged…photo from online

During the summer of my second year in middle school, a group of us gone to a classmate’s home to hang, there was, a white grand piano in the room, and the group of us, started, tapping at the keys, I’d, followed the sheet music, and played the notes on it, and, I was shocked, that this easy to play piece had, brought out, that familiar, tune, and I’d, borrowed the sheet music, took it home to practice, the piece was, “Fur Elise”, as my second eldest brother who was in high school heard me played, he’d, sat down next to me and started playing too.

Because of the foundations of piano lessons lain earlier in my life, we’d found the sheet music we liked and started, playing again, from the classical to jazz, and, when we got into it, we would have a four-hand playing.  We’d played on, for decades, and it’d become, a hobby that we keep, for life now, from before, we’d not wanted to take the lessons, using our academic stresses as an excuse, and, later we’d realized, that in a lot of the times, piano playing, is a good method of, stress-relief.

And, naturally, I’d, wanted to, pass this, gift to my own young, a decade ago, when my daughter was in the elementary years, I’d, coaxed her onto the piano bench, with my own experience in childhood, I knew better, not to force it on her, that I’d had to, give her the rewards too.  My daughter wasn’t the talented sort, to help her continue learning the piano, I’d, carefully, guided her, sometimes, I’d, not forced her to play, to practice, and at others, I’d, told her she’d, needed to sit down and play for a while.

And finally, we’d, made it through, six whole years, and she had, all her fundamentals down pat, just about, and I’d, sat with her on the four-hand piano, and, before the pressures that is about to come toward her at the end of her last year of middle school, I’d decided, to end her lessons, and gave her a “graduation ceremony”, I’d told her, “this is the end of my demands for you to play the piano, from here on out, you get to decide, whether or not YOU want to, play.”

And, surely enough, I’d not, seen her, sit down on the piano bench since, and, three years flew by, at the start of this year, I’d heard her telling me that she’d wanted to, “practice my skills back again.”, I can’t, believe my ears.  Yet, it’d been, two whole months, past her high school entrance exams, and I’d not heard, a single note yet, I’d, told myself, don’t expect too much.

Several days ago, as I came home from outside, before I’d turned the keys, I’d already, heard the piano songs, coming out of the living room, and I’d felt, moved……………

So, this still just showed, how as parents, we should, NEVER force our own dreams onto our young, we may give them lessons, if they ask us to let them learn, but, we shouldn’t, FORCE them to play the musical instrument, I mean, they’re still young children, and children, have limited attention span, and forcing them to SIT down for hours to practice the songs, it’s just, too unrealistic, and, this may end up, slaughtering the love your children had originally, of music, and have the opposite effect of what you’d, hoped to give to them.  If they’re meant to pick it back up again, then they will.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, The Education of Children

Seven Games to Play with Your Young Children to Help Them Develop a Stronger Concentration

Games that helps aid the development of your young children’s cognitive processes, so, play with them more, and come up with other sorts of games that can stimulate your children’s brains, from the experts, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

With more and more, emphasis, placed on child development, birth to age three is the key development period, what ways, do we have, of helping the children develop their sense of, concentration?  The child occupational therapist, Yu suggested seven games at home, to play with your children to help them develop stronger concentration.

First, the musical singing song game, Yu said, playing the music that your young children liked, like Baby Shark, Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes, etc., etc., and do the simple movements with your children, it’s good for their concentration.  Beading, stacking up the blocks, then, aiming at the blocks, knocking them down are also great games.

games like this…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

Wait until the child understand the simple commands, have the child role-play as the “delivery person”, to bring the items to the parents, Yu said, place the obstacles like toys that obstruct their paths, have your children step over them, and tell them not to knock the items in their ways over, to not “tip over the foods”; wait unit your children are older yet, have them find specific items out of a stack, deliver it you.

Hide-and-Go-Seek is also a game that trains the child in concentration.  Yu stated, that the parents can first, hide the dolls underneath the quilts, and showing only the legs of the dolls for the child to find, and in a more advanced version of the game, have the child find the socks, “where’s the red sock?”, or “Where’s the sock with the car on it?”

Yu most recommended that the parents and children read along together, she said, find the books with the pictures primarily, let the kids see what shapes are in the books, for instance, in a book of illustrated animals, turn to a page, have the child tell what animals are on the page, where’s the rabbit, find the dog, have your child point it out to you.

or this…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

The clinical psychologist, Lee said, before age three, the diagnoses of attention-deficit, or hyperactivity are hard to diagnose, the researches showed, that the high-tech devices with the loud volumes of sounds and the bright lights are, harmful to the development of your children, that there should be a limit of half an hour a day of use per day.

And so, due to the prevalence of the diagnoses of ADD, ADHD these days, we must, be careful, WHAT we’re, exposing our young children to, after all, children DO, model after the adults, and, the games of stacking up the blocks, classification of the various kinds of toys, these games trains your young children in their, cognitive development processes.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, The Education of Children

Sharing Underneath the Starry Night Skies

A good way, to put that cadence on the past year, and start off fresh, on a, new note for this year!  Translated…

For the New Year’s in the past, we’d, gone by tradition, passed it day after day, gathered at the round table for the New Year’s Eve meals, gone to the relatives’ to wish everybody there a happy New Year, to the hot tourist attractions to visit……….it’s, a holiday, that “gathered” us all up.

But thinking back, that was, more like a, sort of, formality.  And, the protocol of that was, watching T.V., sliding on our cell phones, or, saying the words that don’t show any, real care or concerns.

illustration that came with this article, courtesy of UDN.com

圖/蛋妹

My ideal New Year’s, is to, REDUCE this sort of a vacant interaction, but with more conversation, communication.  Turn off the T.V., put up those cell phones, on the day like New Year’s, get out of the house, to sort through what’s on our minds.  Go to a place where you see your stars, lifting up your heads, sharing your thoughts with one another.  Everybody sit in a circle with leisure, and take turns, telling about what one gained in this past year, what touched us in the last year, to get rid of those formalities of how we are, supposed to, show our cares and concerns, and truly, listen to what one another is, sharing.  Becoming an audience, also, a part of the group that shared everything.

And so, this, is something that’s, needed, in this day and age, because, we don’t talk with each other in depth regularly, that’s why, we’d become, so, disconnected through the entire year, and, the New Year’s is a good time, to restart that connection, to share with one another, what we’d, endured through during the past year, to find closure to the year before, so we can, start off on another year, on a, clean, slate!

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Filed under Because of Love, Connections, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

To Help Better the Interactions of Parents & Children, the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Foundation Workstation Opened its Workshops

The foundation’s attempts to shift the focus back to parents interacting with their own young, and hope this works…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The joys of becoming parents from the start, may be gone, in the pressures of providing for our own children, the very first friendly space set up by the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Org “the Taipei Green Corner Wenshan Parent-Children Workshop” had its grand opening yesterday, differing from the normal services provided in the childcare realms, it’d hoped that through the constant companionships of professionals, it can help the parents and children find a positive way to interact with each other, and strengthens the values of parental education, which hopefully, can reduce the chance of child abuse, and be used as the first line of defense against child abuse.

a play place like this one, where the parents can interact with their own young…photo found online

The Taiwanese Fund for Children & Families pointed out, that every child deserves to be treated well, that the Green Corner Wenshan Close Corner Workshop in Taipei is the very FIRST space that the foundation’s set up that’s parent and children friendly, acting as a companion to all parents.  Using the community as a fall back, of prevention, to help the parents accompany their young to grow up, to show that every child is unique, a different and separate entity from the parents.

The foundation gave the example, the mother, Feng, was once very depressed dealing with her own children’s behaviors, the parent and child conflicted a lot, and through the intervention from the workshop, the mother restructured the way she’d interacted with her own young, and learned to be a more balanced mom, viewed the child’s uniqueness as positive, and the parent-child relationship slowly improved.  Another full-time mother, Jia-Jia has two children, and in the process of caring for her young children, she’d felt alone, and fell into self-doubt, in the social workers of the Wenshan Close Corner, she’d found the meanings to raising her own young, and found the values in herself too.

And so, this is, a necessary service, and thankfully, this not-for-profit organization found a way, to provide it for the parents who feel they’re, all alone on their own, raising their children up, and, parenting skills is a LEARNED behavior, and it’s usually, through experiences, that we will finally, acquire, the right methods to deal with our own young, and this not-for-profit center helps the adults BE better parents to their own young, which is WHAT we’re in need of current day.

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Filed under Connections, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

No Worries

Can’t set our minds at ease, no matter what, because we cared too much about each other!  Translated…

My son has, absolutely NO faith, that his scatterbrained mother can take care of his young by herself, and I can’t feel secure, that he’s riding out late at night, making the deliveries, it’s, a looped around cycle of worrying, between parents and children.

The sudden onset of the outbreak of MERS-CoV, it’d, impacted the industries across the world, being on the front lines in the tourism industries, you can’t imagine it.  And, even though, we’re, going into, the post-outbreak times, the tourist industries tried to make it, by, proposing the trips within the country, but my daughter-in-law is responsible for the tour groups abroad, and, it’s going to take a while, until that start back up again.  In this very hard time, those who worked in her office took the pay cuts, some got laid off, everybody was on high alert, some quickly, transferred to alternative industries of work, to take the baseline minimum monthly wages to make ends meet.  And at this time, my young granddaughter came, and, other than the basic living needs, there’s, this extra expense, and so, my son had to, start making the deliveries after his regular work hours.

Canceling the nannies, and I’d become, the temp nanny, and I, naturally, supported my son’s methods of saving the money.  Actually, I’d, longed to have a grandchild a very long time, and, as I was gloating on it, my son handed me the Holy Bible of childcare that the nurses made from the hospital for the new parents, reiterated, “When you make the milk, first the water in the bottle, then the formula, make sure that the formula is melted completely, to the left and right, don’t shake the bottle up and down then, place it under the sink to get it cooled off, it can’t be too hot.” “Pour the unfinished amount out, don’t save it for the next feeding time.”  “Now the diapers have the signals of if it’s wet, when the signal turned from yellow to blue, time to change.” “Newborns shouldn’t sleep on their tummy, it would cause sudden infant death.”  “oh, and don’t feed her any water!”

I nodded, like a good student, listening to the words of the school teacher, thought: this first-time grandma, is an excellent master back when, it’s just, I hadn’t, be in the realms a long time, I’d just, lost, all of my childrearing methods.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/黃鼻子

And, even though he’s away at work, he was, ill at ease, my LINE kept ringing nonstop.  “Mom, nothing’s going on, I just want to check in.”  “Did you put her down to a nap yet?”  “She cries a lot these few days, can you manage it?”, and, to stop him from flash-messaging, I’d sent him the photos of my young granddaughter, even though it was over forty years since I took care of a baby, but I still got it, I can, so totally, handle, a baby.

And, I’d, finally set my son’s mind to ease, but he’d, gotten me worried, I’d told him as he was getting out, “If you bump into a gambler, a drunk, or a drug dealer, if something feels like it’s, going south, RUN like the wind!” my son laughed at me, “it don’t matter who’s calling the deliveries, so long as they pay up.”  He’d not come home late in the night, and I’d not dared, sat in the living room and wait up, and, as I heard the key turn the lock outside, my unsettled heart calmed, and suddenly, by the following second, I was, able to, drift off into dreams.

Recalling how forty years back, I’d worked night and day, to help pay up the debts accumulated by my in-law’s family, my son were given to my ill mother-in-law and my chain-smoking father-in-law, I’d often snuck back home during work, to check out my eldest with two snots rolling down from his nostrils, getting held too tight, by my mother-in-law, whose bones had been malformed from arthritis; and my youngest son was often burned by accident by my father-in-law who had a cigarette in his mouth, dozed off to sleep, and yet, as I saw how sorry my in-laws looked, I couldn’t blame them.  And, no matter how awful, how insecure I’d felt, I still needed to believe, that these grandparents who may not be able to handle them, have the best intentions in mind, and will do their best, to care for my young sons.

Let go.  Set your heart at ease.  I’d, warned myself: the outbreaks shall pass soon, and everything will become normal, I just need to take care of my granddaughter well, so my son won’t have any worries, working, we both, need to, have that ease of mind here.

And so, this showed, just how, intertwined the parents and children are, from before, you worried about your own young, and now, he worries about his own young, and you too, and this, is just how parents and children are, we all worry too much!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Translated Work

My Daughter’s Response, on Parent-Child Interactions

Allowing your own young to experience, so s/he knows, that MOMMY is, RIGHT!!!  Translated…

My daughter woke up late this morn, I’d placed her breakfast into a box, for her to bring to school.  At this time, she’d told me she’d not wanted to eat it at school.  I’d hollered, “Why?”, she’d, minced her lips, refused to tell me another word, I’d thought for a bit, and asked, “do you want to take the time before classes to finish your assignments?”, she’d nodded, “it’s too time consuming to have to eat breakfast at school, it takes away the time from me doing my homework.”

I had to admit, I’d felt, a bit, emotional as she’d told me this.  I thought it’s, defeating the whole purpose of things, thinking of finishing her assignments on time, not caring about her health.  Besides, “homework’, is supposed to be work, taken home to complete, and yet, she’d been, rushing through the assignments in the mornings as she arrived at school, to the point of, giving up breakfast, this is, so totally, not, understandable.

As I was about to go into lecture at her, suddenly, I thought of myself.  In the elementary years, I’d gotten too busy with the various kinds of contests and competitions; in middle school, the pressures of academic made me buried in books; entered into high school, I’d, insisted I could, handle both my academia and my extracurricular activities; as I started n college, I’d, burned off my youth like crazy—but, during those years, my mother never said anything.  Surely, she’d, nagged, it’s just, she couldn’t, do a thing, as her daughter is, very much an, independent thinker, and, finally, allowed me to, be.

Many years later, in the mornings, I stood before my daughter, and, suddenly understood, my own mother’s, nagging back then.  Toward the young, mothers always showed their care and concerns, there were the, worries, always wanting to, offer the best answers for her life.  But, because I’d been a kid myself, I knew, that a lot of the lessons in life, you must learn, personally, for you, to come to realize, what is, the correct answer, and so, I’d come to understand, that the best thing for me to do right now, is, just zip it up.

Finally, as I saw her off into the school, I’d stated, “mom believe you are, able to decide correctly for yourself, breakfast, or not breakfast!”

I can even, give, the correct answer, and then, justify my claims of why my answer is correct, and yet, no matter how perfect I’d, argued my case, it won’t, do a thing for my daughter, because it’s not the answer she’d found by herself.  The only thing I can do, is to give her room, to discover, to hit, for her to, persuade herself, at the same time, having the faith, that she is, able to, persuade herself.

Turns out, what’s harder in caring for our young, is letting them go, to allow them, to make their own, choices in life.

In the evenings as she came back home, she took out the packed breakfast box.  I took a look, nothing’s inside.  She stuck out her tongue and told me, “I was so hungry, and so, I couldn’t help, but eat it.”

Maybe, these lessons of our young, rather than, drying up our own tongue, why not, allow their, rumbling stomachs, to teach them what’s correct.

And so, this, is how a child learns, that her mommy’s, right (and of course, us mommies, are ALWAYS and FOREVER right!), but for our young to understand that we ARE right, sometimes, we need to, stop worrying about them, to just, let go, and let them touch the FIRE, so they get burned, and that hurt register inside their brains, OUCH!  It’s hot, and I shouldn’t touch, like this mother did, for her own young, to LEARN, that HER mother, is R-I-G-H-T!!!

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Filed under Choices, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Properties of Life

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, on the calming words of reassurance, offered to a young child, translated by me…

The Cloud Rocked Me in its Arms,

Hummed that Lullaby,

Don’t Worry Little Baby, Fret Not Little Baby

The Clouds are Light, the Wind Gentle, Everything Will be, All Right………

the artwork of Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com圖/幾米

We are all in need, of this sort of a reassurance right now, especially with this whole world currently going crazy, and, the safest place we can find is here, inside our minds, for in our own minds, we are, able to, live on freely, without any worries or fears!

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Filed under Because of Love, Childhood, Creative Writing, Kindness Shown, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Education of Children, Translated Work, Values