Category Archives: Parent-Child Interactions

Showing the Precise Amount of Care & Concerns Your Children Need

A lesson, on how to interact with your children, now that, they’re, grown, for M-E-N!!!  Translated…

After reading, “It’s Not that I’m Too Aloof, it’s Because, I Never Felt, the Passions” on July 31st, my head bobbed up and down repeatedly through her article, this was, the exact replica of my own, family.

“Your son is out of school now?  What’s he been up to?  When will your daughter be home?  Will she buy the milk?………”, he sat on the couch, in the living room, watching T.V., and inquired, and heaven only knows, how many times, he’d, repeated these, same questions, at first, I’d told him, “I’ll call and check”, then in the end, it really, got to me, and I’d, barked back, “you can call the kids up too, why do I always have to be the middleman?”

As a father, he’d had it easy since the start, while I am on the clock, twenty-four seven, year round, a nanny slash secretary, without pays, for close to, three decades already, never went on strike, nor gotten lackluster over my duties of work.  But, with the kids growing up, leaving home, it became more and more difficult to know where they are at any moment of day, and my husband would, yap, yap, yap, wanted the answers to his inquiries, and I find it, harder, and harder, to satisfy his, inquiries.

When the children are still younger, he’d poured everything he had into work, no days, no nights, nor vacations either, and his schedules were completely opposite from us, mother and children’s, and it’s next to impossible when the kids want to see their dad, and when we go out to eat, or to travel, he’d, vanished, and so, if there are things that they wanted each other to know, I am the bridge, the phonelines, and after awhile, this became, the way we’d, interacted in the family, and now, even as they were only, steps apart, or separated by the walls of the different rooms of the house, my husband still used ME as a telephone, and I’m, having it too hard now.

illustration from UDN.com

愛呀,得恰到好處。圖/豆寶

“Why don’t you ask them yourself?  You always complained how the kids don’t get closer to you, and the connections are established through interactions, if you don’t start reaching out, and the kids are, reactive, how can you get close?”

He was silent from not knowing what to respond, patted his own nose, turned, and walked to my daughter’s bedroom door, and asked, in a, hesitant voice, “I’m making some noodles, do you want some too?”

My daughter who was working on her papers, was a bit, shocked at first, then, replied back, sure, waited until she was finished with what she was doing, she’d, gone into the kitchens, helped with the chopping of the vegetables, and the plating too…………the two of them started with that awkward silence transpiring between them, to laughing and talking, it’s such a moving scene for a “bystander” like me, I’d, started, secretly, filming this, such a precious shot of gentle father and wonderful daughter, worth me, saving.

“See, I knew you could do it, your giving to them actively, they will, feel it, and will, reciprocate too, like how when we’d gone to the supermarkets yesterday, she’d gotten reminded that you wanted milk and grabbed a carton for you, ‘giving’ and ‘receiving’ love, it’s, both ways, and, this heat between the two of you you’d, established, will need work.”

As he’d heard my analysis, and my console, he’d, started, stopped ordering people around, and, often used LINE to ask our daughter how she was doing, gone to her bedroom, to see if there’s something our daughter needed…………I’m glad, that the man of the house if BACK!  But recently, my daughter asked me to convey to her father, ‘don’t knock on my door so often and call, I’m in a business conference call, I can’t reply.’”

Well, think it’s time, that I teach my husband, how to, take back that constant show of care and concerns, so the love he expresses to our daughter, is just right, not too much, just, enough.

And so, this is how, men all need to get, TRAINED, to interact with their families, because at work, they may be the hotshot bosses, barking out all the orders to their employees, and back at home, they carried that same mode to interacting with their loved ones, and that can be, problematic, and in this particular case, the wife is still, the middleman, unfortunately…

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Filed under Adult Children, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Reading to Children from Birth to Six, Helping Them Get the Abilities of Reading

Once more, reiterating, the importance, or reading with your own young children!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The critical period of development from birth to six, but, how do we get these kids running around like crazy, to sit down and read?  The head librarian of the National Library, Tseng, and the owner of the experimental kindergarten, Chen suggested, that the parents should select the easier to understand illustrated books, and allow the child to set up her/his own bookshelves, a corner for reading, even, including reading in the child’s day to day activities, all of these, can help the child gain the reading abilities that s/he will need.

starting children of from this…

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the act of reading to children is more important than if they can understand the contents of the stories you read! Photo from online

Chen said, that a lot of parents worried that they might not be good enough storytellers, but, in the parent-child reading time together, there’s no need to teach the children anything from the reading materials, the most important is enjoying the time they spend together with each other.

Tseng told, that the point of reading together is not the reading, but to increase the intimate relations of parents and children, other than reading, the parents can turn the reading materials to life, like for instance, when reading the book, “Colors’, the parents can take the children to draw with the markers, or take a fitting book, and go to the parks with the children.

Tseng advised, that allowing the children to have their own bookshelves for their readers, that they can easily access.  A lot of the activities of reading can occur in this specific location of the home, as the parents are busying about, if the kids want to read, then, it would be more of a habit, that the children sit themselves down at this particular corner to read.  Chen said, having books inside a small basket will work just as well, place a few books into the baskets, to help the children access them more easily.

so as they’re older, they will be doing this on their own…

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the self-initiated reading process…photo from online

Tseng told, that there are the developmental considerations for children reading at different ages, for one and two year old, the reading should be interactive, select the books that are precise, and not with so many words, that are, illustrated, for two three year olds, engage the children into specific topic related reading, the parents can head to the website of the national libraries or the local library branches to the catalogs, to see the preferred, recommended reading materials list.  Chen said, the parents should read the books first, before they borrow them or buy them for their young, for the younger children, the illustrations are important, it can help the children understand the stories’ contents, and, quality should be the focus of reading, not the quantity.

And so, it’s not that important, WHAT you read to your own young children, they just need you to take the time to spend with them, after all, if you don’t help your children establish that love of reading when they’re younger, chances are, they won’t be interested in reading as they grow up, because, everything is still, set up at a younger age in life.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Child Development/Education of Children, Education, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, The Education of Children

The Lesson of Respect from a Wooden Keg

A lesson of RESPECT this mother learned, from taking her daughter’s wooden keg to use without permission from her own daughter, translated…

“The availabilities of water for five days, and the other two are unavailable” was on the verge of being implemented, but, I have no idea how much water we use per day at home.  But to not run out, I’d started, emptying out all the containers, pots and wok, to use as the water storage containers, the plastic cases used originally to store our winter clothes, the bucket I use to water the plants, the ironclad pot for the soup……………the volume of the things I could have, are getting smaller and smaller, and I can’t think of anything else to use.

At this time, I saw that wooden keg my daughter bought with a lot of money, to soak her legs with, I’ll just, use that then!  As my daughter came home from work, she saw the water filling up the keg, she’d looked at me upset, told me, “This is now how you use the wooden basin, soaking it up in water, the wood will rot eventually.”

The soaking basin is afraid of water?  It doesn’t fit my logic at all.  My daughter pulled out the evidence from my past—I’d once not used the hinoki keg that’s used for bathing, causing it to stay humid, and eventually, rotting out, and finally, I had to, throw it out.  Yeah, I admit, I am, too careless at times.  And so, I can only, muffle up, and, start, pouring the water into the bottles and jars all around.

And, the next time the water supply was limited, this time, I’d, covered the keg with a huge patch of plastic first, and continued to save up the water for washing up, for flushing the toilets.  But my daughter still, grilled me, “I’d told you, that the wooden keg can’t be immersed in water!”

And I felt furious, of how she’d, used the same reason to grill me, didn’t I wrap the keg in a film of plastic already?  I’d entered into the bathrooms, looked—ahhhhh—I’d, found a bag that’s, with holes in it.  After I’d, gotten the water split into separate containers, by then, my anger was already, overflowing me.

I’d found two plastic bags with the “no-leak” guarantees, wrapped it into the wooden keg, continued to prepare for this third-round of not having water.

“Why don’t you respect me?  It’s MY wooden keg!”, my daughter started crying, and accused me.

how this…taught the woman about respect…

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photo from online

I’d felt upset too, I’d saved up the water in the keg for everybody in the house, I’d already, wrapped it up in a plastic bag that won’t leak, how was that not respecting my daughter’s belongings?  I’d started, getting upset as she too, I’d, given so much to this family already, and my daughter was, even more angered, and more upset, and started, nagging at me, and it seemed, that a war was about to blow between us, mother and daughter, because of a wooden keg.

But, how is a wooden keg, and respect related?  I’d tossed and turned that night, thought, for a long, long, long time, then suddenly, EUREKA!  I’d understood why my daughter was, angered.

In my teens, because my mother rummaged through my room, and read my diaries—even though, I’d not written anything secretive in it, but that sense of not being respected, I just felt, hard-to-swallow—and so, I’d, torn those pages out of my diary, and burned them all, before my mother!  Harsh enough, and now, as that stubborn young lady I was, became a mother, it’d become, my daughter’s turn, to blame ME for not respecting her things.

Being in charge of the household happenings too long, you’d, mistakenly believe, that EVERYTHING in the house was under your jurisdiction.  And yet, every member of the family, all had their own, private things that they kept, and even though they’re, placed at home all around, they’d not, belonged to me, who’s, keeping the household tidy.

So, the keg was bought by my daughter, and, as the weather got cold, I can, enjoy the soaks, but, it didn’t mean, that I can, use it at my will.  Although, my goal in storing the water with it, was to benefit the whole family, but, I’d not, gotten consent from my daughter, the owner of the wooden keg, which caused me to get nagged by her, for not respecting her things

I understood it now!  Thanks to this wooden keg’s reminding me, that no matter how long we live under the same roof together, how close we all are to each other, “Respect” is an absolute, necessity!

And so, this mother learned, this important lesson, just because the keg was there, available, that does NOT mean that she could, use it, she didn’t ask permission from her daughter, because her daughter bought it, and so, naturally, as the daughter saw the mother used the wooden keg to store water, she got angered, and besides, the material of the wood can rot away easily, because of the moistures, and the mother finally, learned, the lesson of RESPECTING her own, daughter’s, belongings, and learned, that even though, they shared the same space of living, it doesn’t mean, that she can have access over everything she found lying around her house, especially those things that aren’t owned by her.

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Filed under Awareness, Family Matters, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life

Afternoon Tea

Let’s have a tea party then, shall we???  We shall!  Translated…

One night, I called up my mother, chatted over the MERS-CoV situation, how it’d not, gotten better, and we can only, video chat, I really want to head back home, to have afternoon tea with her then.

The following day, my four-year-old ran over to me at increments of minutes, and inquired, “mom, what time is it?  Is it the afternoon now?”, and, as noon approached, I’d answered him, “after lunch, it will be afternoon.”  And on that day, he ate faster than he usually had.  After meal, he’d taken my hand enthusiastically, pointed to the tea pot with water in it, said, “Mom, didn’t you want some afternoon tea?  It’s afternoon now, let’s, have some tea!”

like this??? Photo from online

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spending some quality time with her sons…

Being naïve, he thought that the tea poured out of the pot in the afternoon is, afternoon tea!  Being tentative, he’d, remembered my random conversation with my mother to mind.  And so, I’d smiled, and, washed up two delicate cups, poured in the water, and, sat down with him, and, drank that, extra sweetened tasting, “afternoon tea”.

And so, this, is the interactions with a young child, sometimes, they can, surprise you, like how this young boy took his mom’s conversation with her grandmother to heart, and, offered the gentleness to his own, mom!

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Filed under Childhood, Expectations, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Just Want You to Be Happy

The plans that, fell out of hand, with the rare condition diagnosis of their, young infant, daughter, the causes of the condition, still, not yet, known, translated…

From When Our Daughter Was Born to When She Got Sick, the Trials My Wife and I Weathered, Simply Can’t Get Put into Words, the Original Growth Plans We’d Set Up, All of a Sudden, Fell Out………

At First, it was, Hard for Me to, Accept

When Xiang-Xiang was only six months old, my wife and I noted how she seemed to, be developing, at a slower rate than infants her age, and we’d, hurried up and took her to the pediatrician.  After a thorough check, the pediatrician told us she was, normal, we’d both felt, relieved, but, at the age of one, Xiang-Xiang still couldn’t, flip herself over, and it’d, caused my wife and I panic.

To know what had happened, we’d had the pediatricians to conduct a thorough assessment on her, and in the end, we’d received the diagnosis of “Dope-Reactive Dystonia, DRD); meaning, that the pediatrician can only deduct that something wasn’t quite right with Xiang-Xiang’s neuron signaling system, and couldn’t tell us exactly, what was, wrong with her

From the joys of my daughter’s birth, to being told she’d had a rare condition, the changes in my wife and my heart can’t be put into, words, the original plans of her growth, all of a sudden, fell, out of whack.  At first, it was, quite difficult for us to accept this, but, being Xiang-Xiang’s parents, if we can’t even, cope with it, who will, give her the help she needed, on this, long road, of her life?  Only facing this head on, working hard, to find the cause of her condition, working with the pediatricians to treat her, that’s the only way, we’ll find the right treatments for her, so she could, have a, better life.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/Mrs.H

But even so, as I looked at how the conditions of my daughter was very, unstable, I’d felt, helpless, upset, and, because she isn’t health, there are, many accidents, situations that’s, surfaced as she grew up, going to the hospitals became, something too regular, and we’d often, gone for “vacations” at the hospitals too.  On top of that, due to how “unique” our daughter’s condition, the doctors couldn’t set up a clear and precise treatment plan for her, and it’s up to us, her parents, to make the detailed, observations, to finding the assortments of information, data online, to help us communicate with the pediatricians; and because of this, we’d taken a lot of time daily, energies too, to stay close to Xiang-Xiang, and documented the changes in her, closely.

Making Her Happy, that’s, the Most Important Matter in Our Lives

Because Xiang-Xiang loved going out, to observe everything around her, we’d often, taken her out for strolls.  I would put her in my lap, talk to her, play with her, sometimes, we would watch my wife, busying about, wait until my wife’s done busying, and hugged her.  Although Xiang-Xiang couldn’t speak a word, but, from her eyes, we can see, that she was, happy.

Xiang-Xiang is a laughing girl, whenever her tiny needs were met, she’d, started, giggling loud.  Her needs may be a sound we made, or a movement, even, that tiny response we’d, given to her, and that giggle from inside of her, can last for a long, long time.  We’d also found, that Xiang-Xiang, loved holding conversations, because she couldn’t speak a word, she’d, used the various noises, movements, facial expressions, to express her self, and she’d demanded that we “hear” her from start to finish, and so, we played that game of, “Charades” a lot at home, we all worked together, to guess what Xiang-Xiang wants to, tell to us.

Actually, the needs and desires of a child like Xiang-Xiang is quite, simple, being with those whom she enjoyed being around, it’s, the best thing in their lives, while we’d both, done all we possibly can, to fulfill, the tiniest wishes that our, young daughter  has.

To this point, we still have no clue, what’s, caused our daughter to not speak, to not flip on her tummy, to walk, and to, feed herself, but no matter, Xiang-Xiang is our, baby.  As parents, our only hope for her, is that she’s, safe and healthy, and happy throughout her life, while we shall, keep on, holding her, tiny hands, to lead her, to grow up slowly, on this, hard road of life she’d found herself to be one, to become, the strongest backup for her, in her life.

And this, is the love, the devotion, of parents with a special needs child, and the cause of the conditions of this young child is unknown, and the parents had, started to, accept that, they may, never find out what exactly, had caused their daughter’s, condition, but, they’d learned, to give her the love, the support she needed, on this road to life, and that, is the most, important sort of support, of love, that any parents can, give to, their, own young.

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Filed under Because of Love, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life

More than a Friend

A friend to her child, that was, what she’d, become, a safe place where her children can go, when they need to go, like her own, mother was, to her, translated…

That day after supper, as I was, clearing off the tables, my nine-year-old daughter suddenly blurted out, “mom, I think, you feel more like, my friend!”, I stopped what I was doing, and, felt the emotions, taking my heart over, only because, I’d not, tried, in any way, to become her friend all these years.

I recalled how it was, when I was, only ten years old, when my mother gave me a small notebook, the sort of an exchange diary kind, with the writing, “mom is willing to be your, best friend”.

Thinking back now, my mother’s behaviors, were, way ahead of the rest in the realms of, education, and to this very day, I still recalled, that when I saw that line on the diary, I’d felt, that corner within my heart, collapsing, that was, once safe and secure.  At ten years of age, I only wanted my mom to be, my mom, not my friend.  But back then, I’d not dared, speak of my worries to her, only because, that crying little girl within me, is since, taken care of, by only, me.

This hurt of my childhood, it’d, made me, kept at the role of a mother, after I have two children, even if I’d, derailed from the normal ways of, behaving every now and then, but I’d, still, insisted on, only being, a mother to my children, because I’m worried over the “mother is the children’s best friend” belief, how it might, make my own children feel, helpless as I did.  Like how I’d felt then, that I couldn’t, understand how my mother was, showing me more respect, and just felt, like she’d, elevated me to her equal, whether or not I was, ready to be, an “adult”.  And, I’d, carried that mind of “no matter how old-school I get called as, I will, always be, just mother to my, children”, on the smaller matters, I’d let them slide, but, firm on the bigger, the more important, things, playing with my kids, but, NEVER tell them, that I shall be, their, friend.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/PPAN

As I finished wiping the tabletops, I’d come back, and half-jokingly asked my daughter, “Do you think I am your friend, because I’d, pulled you, into, watching the soaps with me lately?”, as she’d helped carried up the dishes and bowls, she shook her head said, “I just feel, that you will, listen to me, to tell me those things I wanted to know, and let me tell you what I need to, get off my chest.”

As I’d heard my daughter’s replies, I’d suddenly noted, that the kids are in need of, being, treated as equals, in genuine treatments of them, and honest conversations, so long as, I’m interacting friendly with her young soul, it don’t matter even if I am, in the limited status of a mother, I’d still, made myself as, someone like her friend, making her feel, respected.  And I’d finally, admitted to myself, that I am, on the road set forth by my own mother, only because she was too eager, to get close to me, it’d made me feel I was, abandoned, but actually, she’s, always, my mom.

As I entered into the kitchen, twisted on the knob on the faucet, in the pouring out of the water, I’d lightly told that little girl inside, “hey, don’t cry anymore, your mother had, never treated you like, just, a friend”, just like, I can’t, ever be, my kids’ mother simply either.

And so, this writer’s mother wanted to get closer to her, wanted her to feel safe with her, that’s why she’d told the writer, that she is willing to be, her friend, and the writer, being as young as she was, she’d, misinterpreted her mother, and forced herself, to grow up too fast, because she needed her mother to be her mother, but didn’t know how to tell her mother that, until she became, a mother herself, she’d, realized that her mother was not trying to be her friend, that she was, always, her mother, always giving her emotional support, like she’s doing, for her own young too right now.

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Children, Hooked on the High-Tech Gadgets? Using the Opportunities, to Teach Them about Regulating Themselves

Ways of, teaching children, who are, growing up, in the, digital age, because you can’t, BAN them from, contact of the high-tech devices, as it’s just, impossible, especially now, with MERS-CoV, and everything, learning, play, is all, online!  Expert advice, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The summer’s begun, but, there’s no after school care program, no summer camps for the children to go to, and, the only thing that remained, in the lives of children, are the, high-tech, gadgets.  The psychiatrist, Chen recommended that the parents not pushed too hard, instead, they should, help the children gain better understanding of how to use the high-tech devices to their own, advantage, the following was the psychiatrist, Chen’s experiences:

After the outbreaks started, the parents in my clinic, and on FB, are all, overly, anxious, if they needed to work, should they allow their children to use the high-tech devices for an hour like they’d set it up from before?  There are, the desperate measures, during these, desperate, times, and now, the online learning came into, the realms, and, it’s best, that parents, can, utilize the means.

this is, what’s, trending, right, now!

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photo from online

Parents, do remember, that “When we’re all well, then, our children would be too!”, it’s very hard, adapting to the distant, out-of-office, working from home, don’t give yourselves too much pressures, and, only keep guard over what you’re children are viewing, the games they’re playing online would be fine.  If the children are older, then, you can make the rules, for instance, for every thirty minutes they’d spent on the high-tech devices, they need ten minutes off of it, and use the screens with the larger sizes, the iPads, the desktops or the laptops.

Digital learning is now, the trend, the parents needed to get with the process, not seeing the high-tech gadgets as something that’s, harmful, you need to pay attention, to what your children are, into.  For instance, get to know the fun resources for learning online, to offer more learning choices digitally to your own children.  For instance, the computer program that allows you to learn to program and play the games at the same time: Roblox, along with the games fitted to younger children, Scratch, etc., etc., etc.

Especially for the children in their adolescence, being locked at home, without their cell phone advantage, they may, get into, conflicts with you even more often.

The outbreaks are a mirror of truth of parent-child relationships, do get to know what’s in the world of teenager in the means of high-tech, so long as the contents the child’s scanning through is watched by you, can be controlled by you, but don’t over control your children’s means of surfing online, their usages of internet.

And so, this would be, a not too easy lesson for all you, parents to manage, I mean, how do you know, what’s enough, and what’s, too much, this is still, all, trial-by-error, and each family must find, what works, individually, because this is still not, a one-size-fit-all kind of a thing.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

How to Tell When a Fish is Going on a Trip?

A few words of exchange between a father and a son, how a father gets, stumped by his own son’s, question, translated…

Summer: When we humans take trips, we take a backpack, that’s how we know we’re, going off.  When the fishes go on their trips, they only take with them their bodies, then, how would we know, that they’re, off then?

Me: how to tell, when the fishes are, going on their, trips…………

On that evening, the moments before I fell asleep, Summer rushed out of his bedroom, and asked me this question of “how to tell when the fish go on their trips.”  Back then, I was, stumped, couldn’t know how to reply.  He’d started, snickering, told me, “my question is, too hard for you, huh?”

We’d often, thought up of a ton of questions that we can’t answer for one another, that was, the game that Summer and I had, shared, during that period of time.

For instance, I’d, held a straight face, and asked him at age six, do you know who Kafka was?  As he’d looked at me confused, then, fallen into that state of, upset, I’d told him, with that cunning manner, it’s a difficult one I’d given you, huh!  And thus, began, the game of two, of us, father and son, and, we’d, given one another, a hard time too.  And afterwards, Summer started, asking me the questions, to attempt to, faze me.  For instance, he’d asked, why do the Herculean Beetle fly to our house?  I’d replied, the Herculean Beetles are nocturnal, because of the light in our living room, that’s why they’d, flown to the balcony.  He’d caught a humongous stick insect once, prodded me, why did the bug sway around when there’s, no wind to make it unsteady?  I’d immediately answered him, that it was pretending to be a twig swaying in the wind, to duck out from its predators, so it won’t get, eaten.

a child like this, with so many questions about the world…

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photo from online

Every answer I gave, I’d, taken that tone of pride in my voice, so he couldn’t, question me.  Sometimes, my answers weren’t, precise enough, nor evaluated against the facts, no other reasons, but because I’m a father with the stronger pride.  As I’d slowly discovered, that Summer was coming up with more and more question that became, too abstract, and I’d started, stuttering then, and, given off hints, that I’d not known how to answer him.  Not long thereafter, Summer busted the bad quality of this game—when the questions are too ambiguous, or if they are the questions without the correct answers, then, he’d gotten the chance of, defeating me, and score for him, and, captured back that dignity of a son that he’d not owned originally.

Thinking back, these are, probably, the what-not-to-dos in parenting, forcing my own son to bust my own lacking in “field research” and just googled for the answers on the search engines, my own, laziness.

As the questions of “how to tell when a fish is off on its journey” surfaced, seeing how Summer was laughing secretively, I’d know, that I got, checked!  That this game was, totally, over for me!  And then, there would be, two, three years that follows, which I will be, answering to my bullshitting him, this was also, that biggest, boomerang that he, as a son, can thrown back at me, his father—daddy, can you prove what you’d just answered me?

It’s just, how, how do I tell, when a fish is, off on its, journey?  This difficult problem, should be researched, a someone with a doctoral degree, isn’t it?

In the era when YouTube is used to explain just about everything, trying to find a question that can, faze my son—this surely, isn’t a Q&A game that a father can fake his understanding of things, to fool his own young.

Broadcast Yourself?  That’s it, the game of father and son, it’s, merely, a father, playing, against, his own, self, to make himself feel more important.  It’s just, that now, my son only needed to, wiggle his fingers, and, he could quickly discover, that his father’s questions for him are all, questionable.  And I can only, sigh, that the challenges that the YouTube era gave to us, fathers, truly is, difficult.  On the thought, you, as a father, it doesn’t matter if you have a doctoral degree, or if you actually have a fish, we still can’t tell, precisely, if the fishes are, already, taking their, trips away.  For the children who had yet to grow up, they’d understand to communicate and understand the fish in the tanks, along with being best pals with your, fish.  This, we will, never, catch up to them.

And so, it’s not that hard, to tell, “when a fish is off on its, journey”, I only have one possible answer for now, I’ll ask the tea stewed egg a bit, maybe, I will, get an answer immediately.  Yep, my question isn’t, that easily, answered, huh?

P.S., Tea Stewed Egg is a cat owned by a friend.

And so, there comes a time in our lives, when our young come up with extraordinary questions, not to test us, not to beat us at our own games, but only to show, that they’re, growing cognitively by the day, and, in these moments we get, stumped, we will surely feel, embarrassed, because, mommy and/or daddy no longer have ALL the answers!  How’d that happen, huh?  Because the kids are, smarter by the generations here still…

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Urban Legend of Mr. Dinosaur

Yeah uh, mommy’s a liar, that fooled, EVERYBODY, including, the new janitors at the science museum too!  Translated…

“It’s said, that Mr. Dinosaur at the science museum will clock out and get off work at five, and before he goes home, he would check to see if there are any children who were in the museum, if there are, then, he’ll, grab them, take them home, and make them into his supper for the night.  Hear it, the music’s played, the older children are all heading toward the exit now.  Come, Mr. Dinosaur is about to, clock out”.  This, was the unproven, urban legend of the science museums, and the source of where this legend came from, only three person, know, two were eaten, by the dinosaur, while the third, I’m not, at liberty, to say.

like this clip, from A Night in the Museum, off of YouTube

Night at the Museum (1/5) Movie CLIP – Throw the Bone (2006) HD – YouTube

On this story, my three kids believed with absolutely, NO doubt, not only once, as they’d heard the music of closing time playing, they’d, grabbed my hand, and ran fast toward the exits, “Mr. Dinosaur is about to clock out!”  Once at the museum, they’d, dragged me to leave quickly, while the workers saw how cute they were, how they’d helped cleaning up the environment, they’d wanted to give them some origami, and heard them hollered aloud, “Come quick!  Mr. Dinosaur is about to get off work!”, the workers asked me what that was about.

And so, I can, only, given them hint, as they’d heard, they showed that look of, disbelief, then I’d added, “you just started working, a short while ago, right?  This is the urban legend of this science museum”, the workers looked at me with doubt, “is that real?”. “Yes!”, I’d, pointed at my kids who were, eager, to escape the museum, “look, how they’d, hurried now!”, and so, I was, able to, fool the museum workers too!

Yeah, so, the children aren’t the only ones who are, gullible here, the adults are too, and, anybody with a sound mind can tell, that the story of the dinosaurs coming to life and eating the children who are still in the museum after closing time, knows that it’s, a way a parent tries to get the kids home, because they’d, played for too long, hung out too long in the museums, and, the new workers are, fooled by this mom.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life, The Education of Children

The Greetings from the Children, it’s the Invitations of Their, Trust

The kid: why should I say hello?  The adults: because WE say so!!!  And that, is the wrong way, to socialize your children!  Translated…

During the New Year’s, a group of relatives gathered, in my memories, I’d always, become, fearful and nervous over this.  As a young girl, I didn’t take to strangers, and hated the loudness, and, as the adults started showing me too much attention, it’d, made me feel, uncomfortable.

The elders who’d come to visit, they’re all, mostly, strangers to me, and whilst I was still, in a daze, my father would pull me over, and urged me, “say hi to your elders”.  And yet, before I could react to the atmosphere that’s, gaining the momentum, couldn’t catch up to the paces of how my father and the adults were interacting, I’d gotten their words of displease.

I was too young to tell the adults, and can only, keep everything I feel inside, allowing it to accumulate, and, “greeting others”, “saying hi” became dreadful, instead of something I enjoyed doing, but “something I had to do!”

Time flew, I’d become, an “aunt”, and I’d found, that I was, really sensitive, like those adults were in my childhood, when the children didn’t greet me.  I’d found, that accumulated over the years anger, displease, upset, with the endless questioning of why when the adults tell us to, we need to do it, and now, their grandkids didn’t have to greet me, and they’d not, gotten, scolded, and were, tolerated?

查看來源圖片
a child who’s shy around strangers…this would be, difficult for them to cope, having them greet your adult friends and distant relatives…photo from online

Time is a good medicine, made our life experience, into wisdom.  I’d started to understand, that the older generations may carry with them that sense of lack of security, and needed to gain their sense of self-worth, sense of authority from without, and used “being greeted”, to satisfy their own needs of, being noted as someone worthy or important.  In the past when I was too young to differentiate, I’d taken it as my responsibilities, the adults’ demands of me, and became, too tried, and filled with anger.  And, as the adults felt upset because I didn’t greet them, it’s their emotions, while my choice related to, “What sort of a person do I choose to be”, finally, I’d, separated the responsibilities now, severed it off, I’d no longer, needed to, be responsible for the other individuals’ feelings, only responsible for my own behaviors, and feelings.

On that day, my younger cousin whom I don’t interact with regularly took his children, boys of age four and six to my house to visit, they’d, stared at me.  My cousin didn’t tell them who I am, nor demanded that they greet me.  I knew, that the kids weren’t familiar with me, that there’s no need to force them to connect.  I’d, called out to them, introduced myself to them as their aunt, continued holding conversations with them, when they got sidetracked and not eaten their meals like they should, I’d, gotten their attention back, and learned that it was my four-year-old nephew’s birthday on the day.

I’d told him, “happy birthday, finish your lunch first, I’ll give you a pudding for your birthday!”, then the child let his guards down, finished up the meal, my six-year-old nephew searched for me, and called out to me, “Aunty, do you want to play the storytelling board games later with us?”, and, I’d spent an afternoon of time in board games with my younger cousin and his family.  As the kids left, they’d not wanted to leave, and, eagerly made a date for our next, game date.

illustration from UDN.com

圖╱Betty est Partout

The kids are so straightforward, son naïve, and the adults needed to, let go of their hearts first, to learn to show cares and concerns toward the children first, to warm up with each other, and, as the emotions became, connected, the kids will trust you, and naturally, they would, interact with you more, and accept you, into their, worlds.

“Greeting”, is no longer something we must do on the holidays, with a little more thought, giving each other a little extra time, it can bring the joys of connections between people, and, what greater joys there are, than when a kid invites you to play the next time?

And so, this adult had, gained the awareness of what she’d hated of what her adult counterparts made her do, to greet everybody who came to the house, and, upon realizing, she’d, not demanded her own nephews to greet her, and this made them more comfortable, and they’d, connected to her more easily, and once the ice was broken, everything flowed, smoothly.

This still just showed, how you parents, should NOT MAKE us, your children greet those adults who are unknown to us, who are, YOUR friends or relatives!

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization