Category Archives: Queen Tina’s Fables

The stories i rewrote, the elements of those age-old fairytales i’d dissected, this, would be the G-rated subsection of this place, and, ALL who can look through the eyes of the child are more than welcome, to GRAB a blanket, and take a S-E-A-T

Two Lost Souls, Joined by One Happily Ever After

Like that UGLY-AS-HELL toad and that DUMB-BLONDE princess???

Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, they were drawn, by the mirage that Crystal Ball they gazed into together, that promised them a bright and happy future together.  Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, you know, it’s kinda like how Cindy thought that she’s free of her working as a maid days, the moment she’d fitted her foot into that glass slipper, without realizing, that the weight GAINED from her unwanted pregnancies, by the spreading of Charming’s TADPOLES, will cause her, to CRACK the heels of those glass slippers.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, and they still don’t live happily ever after until the very end, and that, would be how all those modern day, starry-eyed, dumb BLONDE princesses’ tales end.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, they fell, to the false promises of a happily ever after, and that, was all that it took………

 

 

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Lessons, Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Socialization

The Woods Became Dark & Shadowy

It was light, when Hansel & Gretel went with their dad, on that hunting trip, into the woods, with absolutely NO idea, that they would end up, getting abandoned by him, and, after they’d become separated from their father, the light was, gone, for good, and, as they’d walked, tired, and hungry too, the woods became, even darker still…

And, as Little Red met up with the Big Bad Wolf, the woods for her too, became darkened and shadowy too, and, as she got, devoured by the Big Bad Wolf, and, came out of the stomach of the Wolf as Granny Red, she’d gotten to understand, that she, WAS Granny all along.

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, nobody thought of bringing that oil lamp along, because when they’d set out, they never expected to get lost in the woods, none of the characters from those fairytales had ever imagined, that they would be lost, in the woods, but that, was exactly what had happened…

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, there’s NOTHING that the characters from the storybooks can do, but to hold on to themselves, tightly, like that Little Matchstick Girl that curled up by that temporary warmth that her own matchsticks gave off, and, guess how that story ended?  That Little Matchstick Girl froze to death as the matchsticks she’d lit up died………

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, that mist of EVIL just can’t get lifted, as everybody became too cold, to show care OR concern, for others.  The woods became dark and shadowy, and that, is just how the stories will end, all those innocent “little” characters from the fairytale world lose their innocence, because life got too hard for them.

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Cost of Living, Life, Lives Lost, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling

If Prince Charming Can Take ALL My Worries Away…

Let me just get “dressed” for the show…wait for it, wait for it, WAIT for it………okay, I’m READY!!!

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, if he can just, WHISK me away, into that beautiful, tie-dyed SUNSET, on the back of that white stallion (but frankly, I’d rather BE the one, riding the stallion, with that MORONIC ASSHOLE, CHASING after me…

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, like he’d done, putting those EASILY shattered GLASS SLIPPERES onto Cinderella’s feet, or, how he’d BENT down, and gave Snow that “true love’s kiss” (and, just HOW many TRUE loves DOES Charming have anyways???  Snow, Sleeping Beauty, etc., etc., etc.), and I’m ALL for MONOGAMY too!

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, but, he can’t, I’ll need me a REAL-LIFE MAGICIAN to do that FOR me, and, unless Charming can perform MORE tricks that pulling that DUMB ass BUNNY out of that HAT, then, he’ll be, OF NO use to me.

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, then, I wouldn’t BE here now, would I???  Nope, but, I’m STILL HERE (just don’t ask where “here” is though…)!

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Socialization

Peter Pan is Gone…

So, where did that LEADER of the Lost Boy go???  Did he finally, GROW UP?

Peter Pan is gone, Wendy woke, to her younger brother’s hollers, and, soon, she’d gone with them, to search, for that final, lost boy!  They first, searched the pirates’ ship, that they took, to ride back, into the REAL world, nope, he wasn’t there, not on deck, NOT below!

Peter Pan is gone, and, he can’t be found, because, the LEADER of the Lost Boys had lost HIS purpose, for he no longer lives, in NEVERLAND anymore.  Wendy took HIM back, into the REALITY of things, her WORLD…

Peter Pan is gone, now, where’d that little boy who REFUSED to let reality tie him down go?  We’d all wondered.  And, we searched, hi, and lo too, for him, but, still, he was, NOWHERE to be found, it’s, as if, he never even,, existed, at all, but, we ALL remembered him, don’t we, boys and girls?  We sure do!

Peter Pan is gone, perhaps, it was him, who got eaten, by that crocodile, in that very LAST duel with Hook, and, the croc stopped being so stubborn, on his diet, he’d settled, for Peter Pan, instead of waiting endlessly, for Hook?  Who knows.

Peter Pan is gone, and, nobody knows where he went, and, when we’d asked around, nobody seemed to remember him at all, so, how come, he is still remembered, by Wendy, and her younger brothers???  Peter Pan is gone, and, in HIS place, stood that AWFUL pirate, who took children’s dreams, to FEED them, to the crocodile!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Lives Lost, Loss, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables

Marriage Became Killers of Fairytales

Not ALL storybook fairytales get their rightfully “deserved” happily ever afters here…

Marriage became a killer for fairytales, because after that dreamy, lovely, grandeur wedding, where you dress up like princesses and, the TOAD you’d kissed, by accident, turned into a prince, and, right after the ceremonies, he turns, BACK into that yucky, SLIMY amphibian once more.

Marriages became killers of fairytales, because there’s NO way you can make your honeymoons last for eternity, after all, when honeymoon’s over, REALITY will surely, B-E-G-I-N, and, when reality begins, your beautiful princesses becomes Cinderella long-term.

Marriages became killers of fairytales, there’s NO way you can dodge that, because, the two of you are BOUND to get HIT, and taken down, by that HUGE wave of reality, and, there would be, BILLS unpaid, and the THREATS from the banks that they’re going to FORECLOSE your properties, and, as your Little Johns or Janes private school tuition just went UP by fifty percent this last quarter, and you still have yet to make those payments for this rundown SHACK that you all share.

Now tell me, that that, would not kill your fairytale fantasies of a marriage there…

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Filed under Cost of Living, Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling

Why Be a Princess When You Can Be a Queen???

This one, is for all y’all girls out there!!!

Why be a princess, when you can be a queen???  Because a queen is put in charge, of an ENTIRE nation, while a princess, well, she can just, get dolled up, and sit pretty, as she waited for her prince to come, AND rescue her?  That, would be an EASIER life, isn’t it?

But think about it, being a queen IS being in charge, and, being a princess, well, your lives, are solely RELIANT on someone else’s behaviors, like if your man wasn’t happy, then, you’d be depressed too, because he is your sun and your skies, and, so, eventually, YOUR lives would circle around him, and that’s not yet including, ALL those little RUGRATS that you will be POPPING out for him either.

If you’re a princess, then, you’d have a BIG chance, of getting TURNED into the MAID, and, you still don’t have until MIDNIGHT, until your fantasies are O-V-E-R.  Why be a princes, IF you can be a queen?  Well, some of you might believe, that running an entire nation, overseeing EVERYTHING, big AND small in that realm, is just, way too troublesome, but hey, would you rather live under someone else’s emotional ups and downs, or, BE in charge of everything around you, that’s happening around your lives?

Why be a princess, IF you can be a queen?  That’s easy, because a queen leads, while a princess, well, a princess still sleeps, in HER state of dormancy, and, from the looks of things, well, she ain’t comin’ OUT of a COMA yet, and besides, you would NOT want to kiss a toad, and risk, turning yourselves into a frog too, would you?  Didn’t think so!!!

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Filed under Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Queen Tina's Fables, Socialization, Story-Telling, The Education of Children

As the Emperor Marched Out onto the Streets, Butt-Naked

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, butt-naked, in his “brand new” outfit, he tried hard, to ignore, the chills, he told himself, that so long as I think of warmth, imagine myself in the tropics, I’ll be, okay, well, visualizations worked, for only just, a little while, before the freezing cold started, taking over all right.

As the emperor marched out onto the streets butt-naked, he realized, how hard his people has had it, and that, was a true wake-up call for the emperor.  So, after his return, he’d started, thinking about, making his people’s lives easier…

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, butt-naked, he’d gained his humanity back, and, after his return to his own palace, living his originally, set life, filled with everything he’d wanted and more, he’d become, more considerate, of his people’s needs.  He’d lessen the taxes on them, and, stopped, throwing his money away, on making his new clothes.

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, he felt, that cold chill, something he’d needed, desperately, to gain his humanity back, and, after living amongst his people, saw the hardships they’d gone through in their lives, he’d, become, more, empathetic, and, he was able, to rule, on behalf of his people’s wellbeing, until he’d passed on…

And, it took, for the emperor, to get embarrassed, made a fool of himself, to finally, get HIS humanity back once more.

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Filed under Being Exposed, Expectations, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Wake Up Calls