Category Archives: Queen Tina’s Fables

The stories i rewrote, the elements of those age-old fairytales i’d dissected, this, would be the G-rated subsection of this place, and, ALL who can look through the eyes of the child are more than welcome, to GRAB a blanket, and take a S-E-A-T

“The Rabbit Hole ATE My Childhood”…

Alice woke, right at the moment, when that, ax, went down toward her N-E-C-K!

She’d, waken up, covered in, cold sweat, she’d, felt around her neck, then, upwards, toward her own, head (thank GOD it’s still there, my H-E-A-D!!!).  She tried getting up, but still felt, dizzy, of the effects of, her decapitation dream…

She’d, walked around the garden, and, found that Rabbit Hole that she’d, followed the Rabbit down from about, two, three hours before (depending on how long she was down for her “naps”).

Suddenly, she’d felt, the breathes, getting out of her, that was when she’d, realized, that SHIT (children should NEVER use that word!), my CHILDHOOD is, G-O-N-E!

how she, woke! Artwork from online

She’d started screaming: “That Rabbit Hole ATE my childhood!”, what do I do, what do I do???  Being as young as she, she couldn’t, comprehend what just, happened, but she knew, that something was, taken out of her life, like there’s now, that hole in her heart!

“The Rabbit Hole ATE my childhood”, she’d told her parents and her nanny.  “Well, there’s NOTHING we can do, I mean, unless, you can, catch that rabbit that stole your childhood away, and, maybe, if we make HIM into, Rabbit Stew, then, you might, get your childhood back, but it’s, NOT a one-hundred-percent thing!”

“The Rabbit Hole ATE my childhood”, well child, be GLAD, that nothing ELSE went missing from your life, what’s the worth of childhood anyways, we’d left all of that behind us, her parents told her, and it still, was NOT, reassuring…

And so, Alice is now, lost, without her own, childhood, and, she’d tried to find that Rabbit Hole in her parents’, garden, but, couldn’t………………

That was, how Alice, became, an ADULT, in just a forty-five minute to two hour nap that one, afternoon.

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Filed under Burying One's Own Child, Childhood, Innocence Lost, Loss, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables

A Secret Portal Back to Her Childhood, Alice Had, Found…

A secret portal back to her childhood, Alice had, found.  She was so happy, and eager to jump right in, because she’d, forgotten all about what’d happened to her as a very young child previously, only remembered the wonderful things, the dreams of, cotton candy cloud, unicorns, what-nots that she’d had from before.

So, she’d, followed that Rabbit that’s, running late (life’s calling, honey!!!), and, slid down that secret portal back to her childhood, and, started adventuring, back to, before.

she’d crawled in…

S**T (b/c children aren’t supposed to cuss???), I’m STUCK! Found online

A secret portal back to her childhood, Alice had found, but, the moment she’d, started, falling down into the abyss (the Rabbit Hole), she’d, regretted it, and, there’s still, NO turning back to her, she got to, see it through, remember what was once there, but, forgotten already!

A secret portal back to her childhood, Alice had found, she’d, ventured, deep, into that hole, and, got her head chopped off by the Queen, and, because she’d died in her dreams, she can’t, wake back up, into, the reality again…

So, guess, she shouldn’t have been, curious, and now she’d learned, that curiosity does NOT just KILL that C-A-T, it’d, killed her too!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Childhood, Children Murdered, Children that Didn't Have to Die, Innocence Lost, Life, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables

Two Lost Souls, Joined by One Happily Ever After

Like that UGLY-AS-HELL toad and that DUMB-BLONDE princess???

Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, they were drawn, by the mirage that Crystal Ball they gazed into together, that promised them a bright and happy future together.  Two lost souls, joined by one happily ever after, you know, it’s kinda like how Cindy thought that she’s free of her working as a maid days, the moment she’d fitted her foot into that glass slipper, without realizing, that the weight GAINED from her unwanted pregnancies, by the spreading of Charming’s TADPOLES, will cause her, to CRACK the heels of those glass slippers.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, and they still don’t live happily ever after until the very end, and that, would be how all those modern day, starry-eyed, dumb BLONDE princesses’ tales end.

Two lost souls, joined, by one happily ever after, they fell, to the false promises of a happily ever after, and that, was all that it took………



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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Lessons, Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Socialization

The Woods Became Dark & Shadowy

It was light, when Hansel & Gretel went with their dad, on that hunting trip, into the woods, with absolutely NO idea, that they would end up, getting abandoned by him, and, after they’d become separated from their father, the light was, gone, for good, and, as they’d walked, tired, and hungry too, the woods became, even darker still…

And, as Little Red met up with the Big Bad Wolf, the woods for her too, became darkened and shadowy too, and, as she got, devoured by the Big Bad Wolf, and, came out of the stomach of the Wolf as Granny Red, she’d gotten to understand, that she, WAS Granny all along.

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, nobody thought of bringing that oil lamp along, because when they’d set out, they never expected to get lost in the woods, none of the characters from those fairytales had ever imagined, that they would be lost, in the woods, but that, was exactly what had happened…

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, there’s NOTHING that the characters from the storybooks can do, but to hold on to themselves, tightly, like that Little Matchstick Girl that curled up by that temporary warmth that her own matchsticks gave off, and, guess how that story ended?  That Little Matchstick Girl froze to death as the matchsticks she’d lit up died………

The woods became dark and shadowy, and, that mist of EVIL just can’t get lifted, as everybody became too cold, to show care OR concern, for others.  The woods became dark and shadowy, and that, is just how the stories will end, all those innocent “little” characters from the fairytale world lose their innocence, because life got too hard for them.

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Cost of Living, Life, Lives Lost, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling

If Prince Charming Can Take ALL My Worries Away…

Let me just get “dressed” for the show…wait for it, wait for it, WAIT for it………okay, I’m READY!!!

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, if he can just, WHISK me away, into that beautiful, tie-dyed SUNSET, on the back of that white stallion (but frankly, I’d rather BE the one, riding the stallion, with that MORONIC ASSHOLE, CHASING after me…

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, like he’d done, putting those EASILY shattered GLASS SLIPPERES onto Cinderella’s feet, or, how he’d BENT down, and gave Snow that “true love’s kiss” (and, just HOW many TRUE loves DOES Charming have anyways???  Snow, Sleeping Beauty, etc., etc., etc.), and I’m ALL for MONOGAMY too!

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, but, he can’t, I’ll need me a REAL-LIFE MAGICIAN to do that FOR me, and, unless Charming can perform MORE tricks that pulling that DUMB ass BUNNY out of that HAT, then, he’ll be, OF NO use to me.

If Prince Charming can take ALL my worries away, then, I wouldn’t BE here now, would I???  Nope, but, I’m STILL HERE (just don’t ask where “here” is though…)!





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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Socialization

Peter Pan is Gone…

So, where did that LEADER of the Lost Boy go???  Did he finally, GROW UP?

Peter Pan is gone, Wendy woke, to her younger brother’s hollers, and, soon, she’d gone with them, to search, for that final, lost boy!  They first, searched the pirates’ ship, that they took, to ride back, into the REAL world, nope, he wasn’t there, not on deck, NOT below!

Peter Pan is gone, and, he can’t be found, because, the LEADER of the Lost Boys had lost HIS purpose, for he no longer lives, in NEVERLAND anymore.  Wendy took HIM back, into the REALITY of things, her WORLD…

Peter Pan is gone, now, where’d that little boy who REFUSED to let reality tie him down go?  We’d all wondered.  And, we searched, hi, and lo too, for him, but, still, he was, NOWHERE to be found, it’s, as if, he never even,, existed, at all, but, we ALL remembered him, don’t we, boys and girls?  We sure do!

Peter Pan is gone, perhaps, it was him, who got eaten, by that crocodile, in that very LAST duel with Hook, and, the croc stopped being so stubborn, on his diet, he’d settled, for Peter Pan, instead of waiting endlessly, for Hook?  Who knows.

Peter Pan is gone, and, nobody knows where he went, and, when we’d asked around, nobody seemed to remember him at all, so, how come, he is still remembered, by Wendy, and her younger brothers???  Peter Pan is gone, and, in HIS place, stood that AWFUL pirate, who took children’s dreams, to FEED them, to the crocodile!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Lives Lost, Loss, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables

Marriage Became Killers of Fairytales

Not ALL storybook fairytales get their rightfully “deserved” happily ever afters here…

Marriage became a killer for fairytales, because after that dreamy, lovely, grandeur wedding, where you dress up like princesses and, the TOAD you’d kissed, by accident, turned into a prince, and, right after the ceremonies, he turns, BACK into that yucky, SLIMY amphibian once more.

Marriages became killers of fairytales, because there’s NO way you can make your honeymoons last for eternity, after all, when honeymoon’s over, REALITY will surely, B-E-G-I-N, and, when reality begins, your beautiful princesses becomes Cinderella long-term.

Marriages became killers of fairytales, there’s NO way you can dodge that, because, the two of you are BOUND to get HIT, and taken down, by that HUGE wave of reality, and, there would be, BILLS unpaid, and the THREATS from the banks that they’re going to FORECLOSE your properties, and, as your Little Johns or Janes private school tuition just went UP by fifty percent this last quarter, and you still have yet to make those payments for this rundown SHACK that you all share.

Now tell me, that that, would not kill your fairytale fantasies of a marriage there…

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Filed under Cost of Living, Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling

Why Be a Princess When You Can Be a Queen???

This one, is for all y’all girls out there!!!

Why be a princess, when you can be a queen???  Because a queen is put in charge, of an ENTIRE nation, while a princess, well, she can just, get dolled up, and sit pretty, as she waited for her prince to come, AND rescue her?  That, would be an EASIER life, isn’t it?

But think about it, being a queen IS being in charge, and, being a princess, well, your lives, are solely RELIANT on someone else’s behaviors, like if your man wasn’t happy, then, you’d be depressed too, because he is your sun and your skies, and, so, eventually, YOUR lives would circle around him, and that’s not yet including, ALL those little RUGRATS that you will be POPPING out for him either.

If you’re a princess, then, you’d have a BIG chance, of getting TURNED into the MAID, and, you still don’t have until MIDNIGHT, until your fantasies are O-V-E-R.  Why be a princes, IF you can be a queen?  Well, some of you might believe, that running an entire nation, overseeing EVERYTHING, big AND small in that realm, is just, way too troublesome, but hey, would you rather live under someone else’s emotional ups and downs, or, BE in charge of everything around you, that’s happening around your lives?

Why be a princess, IF you can be a queen?  That’s easy, because a queen leads, while a princess, well, a princess still sleeps, in HER state of dormancy, and, from the looks of things, well, she ain’t comin’ OUT of a COMA yet, and besides, you would NOT want to kiss a toad, and risk, turning yourselves into a frog too, would you?  Didn’t think so!!!

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Filed under Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Queen Tina's Fables, Socialization, Story-Telling, The Education of Children

As the Emperor Marched Out onto the Streets, Butt-Naked

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, butt-naked, in his “brand new” outfit, he tried hard, to ignore, the chills, he told himself, that so long as I think of warmth, imagine myself in the tropics, I’ll be, okay, well, visualizations worked, for only just, a little while, before the freezing cold started, taking over all right.

As the emperor marched out onto the streets butt-naked, he realized, how hard his people has had it, and that, was a true wake-up call for the emperor.  So, after his return, he’d started, thinking about, making his people’s lives easier…

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, butt-naked, he’d gained his humanity back, and, after his return to his own palace, living his originally, set life, filled with everything he’d wanted and more, he’d become, more considerate, of his people’s needs.  He’d lessen the taxes on them, and, stopped, throwing his money away, on making his new clothes.

As the emperor marched out onto the streets, he felt, that cold chill, something he’d needed, desperately, to gain his humanity back, and, after living amongst his people, saw the hardships they’d gone through in their lives, he’d, become, more, empathetic, and, he was able, to rule, on behalf of his people’s wellbeing, until he’d passed on…

And, it took, for the emperor, to get embarrassed, made a fool of himself, to finally, get HIS humanity back once more.

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Filed under Being Exposed, Expectations, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Wake Up Calls

Partial Princesses

On live-ing, translated…

The First Half of Their Lives, They Lived on Like Princesses

In my dating experience, I’d found, that there’s a kind of princess who are actually of the most excellent.

And, these “princesses” are mostly women in their thirties here in Taiwan, mostly, they’re very well-educated, for instance, had gone abroad to get a degree, with a master’s education, with excellent foreign language abilities, and many of them had worked for international companies too.

This group of “princesses” grew up as the economy was taking off in Taiwan in the seventies and eighties, their parents mostly aren’t from rich and well-to-do backgrounds, most of their parents are entrepreneurs, and, in those day and age, they’d watched the markets, and took the opportunities, and, what’s more important was, that they’d worked hard, to accumulate a lot of wealth.

And, their assets had already surpassed being a little rich, they’d become what I’d called the middle-upper class.  Meaning, that they didn’t have the money like those CEOs from the upper class, but compared to the regular members of the middle class, they are, apparently, a lot richer.

And these parents who’d relied on themselves maybe, they hadn’t gotten too much education when they were growing up, in the poor conditions of this country.  And so, as they’d made it, most of them expected that their own offspring can get into colleges, or move to another country, to get educated there.

And so, because of this, Taiwan had managed to train what I’d called, “half-way princesses”.

These “halfway princesses”, are not those with the Princess Syndromes.  There had been a long running history of the Princess Syndrome, especially what’s trending right now, the princesses are those who dreamed of marrying rich one day, and just sat on their asses and do nothing.  They’d hoped that they can get lucky without the hard work, and lived on easily, like princesses.

And the group of ladies I’m talking about, why are they only halfway as princesses?  Because they’d grown up in rich and well-to-do families, received a certain amount of education, especially, as the parents wanted them to go to another level, the parents would force them to take up a ton of talents such as piano, ballet, horseback riding, etc., etc., etc., at the same time when their parents are making the money, they’re willing to allow their kids to travel on extravagance, buying them name brands, driving those name brand cars, attending those nobility schools.

These parents who grew up hard, would be rather strict on their daughters.  (the education of the sons, well, that’s another topic for another time.)

But one day, Cinderella will have to face up to the realities of her life one day.  When they graduated, the entire world is not the same as when their parents started out in business, and, the opportunities as well as the wealth are no longer here anymore.  Although they’re pretty well-rounded and well-taught too, but because they’d worked away from home, or they wanted to become independent, moved out of their parents’ homes, even though they are paid a lot higher than the average, and can afford the costs of living, but, they couldn’t afford their original lifestyle, and, all of a sudden, their status went from being a princess, to ordinary people.

Swiping the parents’ credit cards, following the parents around, and they get the luxuries, and, they’d lived in mansions with the butlers, but no longer, first half of their lives, they’d lived like princesses, but the second half of their lives, they can only rely on themselves, this, is what I meant by “halfway princesses”.

Waiting for the Trials & Tribulations that Came Later on in Life

In the western societies, there are more visible examples of these halfway princes and princesses, the western parents, after they’d raised their kids to a certain age, they’d wanted them to strike out on their own, even IF the parents had set up trust funds for the children, it wouldn’t be for life.  The parents in Taiwan are different, some had even bought houses for their daughters, to solve the basic needs.  It’s just that, as the princesses got the blows from reality, some could only move back in with the parents.  Of course, there are those princesses who’d excelled in business, became successful, became self-made princesses too, but, those, are rare.  As for those princesses whose parents lost all their assets as the economic turned, and no longer got the royal treatments, they can only live as, halfway princesses.

And still, their biggest trials are in making friends and finding a mate.

What sort of men can these halfway princesses entrust themselves to?  Naturally, it’s less than the minority population of men.  And, not all these ladies are beautiful like Snow White, plus they’d been spoiled since they were younger, and would be harder to get along with.  More importantly, they’d once lived as princesses, so, naturally, they had their eye sights set higher than ordinary men, and most of them, don’t come out winning in marriages either.  How will you, men, deal with these ladies who had become halfway princesses?

But, I still loved those halfway princesses very much, so long as they don’t get taken by vanity, and don’t commit suicide as life got harder, don’t put themselves on that high pedestal, most of them became excellent females in the world.  They’d grown up in well-to-do environments, are willing and able, and enjoyed helping others out, is generous toward others, aren’t very invasive in nature, and knew the good life, well-behaved, literary, artistic, and knows very much about everything, with a world view too.

I truly believe, that we’d raised a bunch of great women who will be taking charge of the world in the futures.

But, if we wanted these half-way princesses to carry the burdens of the future of Taiwan, I’m no longer as optimistic.  There ARE no free lunches, even if you’re a princess, just by half, you’d still pale by measurement to the other ladies who worked hard on their own, because they’re more driven, and goal-oriented.

There’s no having your cake and eat it too, is there?

And so, the point of the story is, you’d RATHER BE a QUEEN, instead of a dumb-blonde princess, because the princesses here from the above are usually spoiled, had it made, and, after their lives fall out, they’d had a hard time, adapting to reality, and, if they didn’t start out as princesses, then, the adjustment when reality HIT would be as difficult, so, don’t be a princess ladies, BE a QUEEN, because we QUEENS can take care of ourselves, we don’t need ANYBODY, we’re self-reliant, able-bodied, and, there are also, many women who are like that in today’s world.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Story-Telling, Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues