Monthly Archives: July 2018

Please Let Go, and Trust in Me, Having an Overbearing Mother

The problem here, is still NOT with the daughter, but with the mother, but, does she realize it???  Of course N-O-T, translated…

From awhile ago, on the news, a certain organization had been losing money by the year, the second-generation owner decided to sell of the office building, for cash, the founder, as he was, interviewed, stated, “My heart ached as my son did it, but now, I’d, trusted in his decisions entirely!”

This pair of father and son made me so envious, and at the same time, I’d, felt heartache for them both, because how I’d, wished that my own mother, can trust me like this father had his own son too.

From the views of the world, I guess, I’m, the pride of my parents: made high grades, gone to an all-star institution, and, managed to pass the exams for a public office on my very first try, I’d never needed my parents to worry over my school performances or my work.

Although my mother stated verbally, that I’d, done well for myself, but she’d, never had faith, that I can, handle things on my own, whether it be how I’d spent my money, how to treat others I meet, whether to have children after I married, who should care for my child if s/he was born…………my mother’s criticisms came at me, never-ending, “it’s for your sake”, was her most widely used phrase, and her weapon.

She’d never understood, that what she’d believed to be a show of care and concern, her nagging, was interpreted as how she didn’t trust me enough, I’d tried to tell her, but her response was always, “Those with your last names, can’t take any criticisms from others!”

When I was interning, I’d, lived at home, I’d had a crash on a rainy day, and, as I’d, bent my knees, my injuries started bleeding, but I’d not let my mother know, I’d, bent down, holding the pains in, as I’d helped clean up the house, until my mother rode out to get the groceries, and found the head of the motorcycle dented, that, was when she’d, found out.  I’d gotten into another, serious crash after I was married, and, it’d been years to this very day, I’d still, not told my parents what had happened to me.

Of the two wrecks I got in, I was, very scared, but I knew, that other than feeling anxious over me, and nagging me, my parents couldn’t do anything for me, and they’d, surely, blamed me, for being, too careless too.  And so, no matter how painful, I’d much rather, hide the truth from them.

I’d never doubted the love my mother had for me, but every time, as I’d, wanted to show affection towards her, she’d started, lecturing me, and in the end, she’d added, “Nobody else is going to tell you this, I’m your mother, that was why, for your sake, I’m, telling, you the truth!”  in my mother’s mind, I’ll never be, enough, there are, always things, I can, improve, and, all of my good performances are, matter-of-fact, and yet, the imperfections, are what pricked at her, and she’d needed to, get rid of them.

But, my dearest mother, you know what?  Your daughter may not be perfect, but, she’d always tried very hard, worked hard, can you just, let go, and trust in me?

And, hopefully, this woman’s mother can see this article, and change the way she interacts with her daughter, but, I’m still, NOT holding MY breath, because parents like these, they think what they’re doing, IS for the good of their young, and they just keep on, doing whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they’re doing, using their same old ways, probably because they were, treated as such by their own parents (‘cuz these sorts of SHITS still gets passed down, from one generation to the next, like D.N.A.???) and this daughter is going to, have a very difficult time, getting closer to her mother that’s for sure…

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Filed under Adult Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Enmeshment, Everyone Else's Fault, Family Dynamics, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lessons, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Overbearing Parents, Overinvolvements of Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Psycho Parents, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, translated by me…

The child to the sloth, or, the sloth, to the child…

Let’s take it slow now…………

No matter how quickly the world changes………

Let’s just, take it slow……………

No matter, how worked up others are around us………

We will, continue to, take it slow together………

One day…

Someone will, finally, get us………

Understanding, that slower is faster……

We’re in no rush……………

Slowly, slowly, slower, slower………………

And this, would be how hard you’re all, PUSHING your children, to catch up to your tempos or paces, and by doing that, you’d, deprived your young, of taking their times, to grow UP slow, at their own paces, and, at the same time, you’d, SLAUGHTERED your young children like P-I-G-S, depriving them, of a happy, AND carefree childhood!

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Growing Up Too Fast, Interactions Shared with the World, Kids Raising Kids, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Messed Up Values, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Things Left Behind, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls

“We Didn’t Even Know a Thing about the Sports Cars, and Were Just Trying it Out……Can’t Believe Someone Actually, Fell for It”, Using the Sports Cars as Baits, He’d, Scammed a Whole Bunch of People

There are still, a lot of people who are, PREYING on greed in this world, and even MORE, who are, falling for it!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Chuang, used how the younger generations are into the sports cars, set up a scam group, claimed that he was investing in a sports car rental dealership with a lot of returns, there were, at least a dozen who were scammed, they’d lost over millions of dollars in sum; the police arrested five suspects, and found, that Chuang had NO knowledge of sports cars, that the photos used to scam were selected at random from online, and charged his and his accomplices on fraud, organized criminal, and money laundering charges, after the district attorneys interrogated, they’d asked the courts to mandate the three suspects in custody, which the judge signed off on, the two teens involved were returned home to their parents.

The police in Taichung a little while ago were reported that there was an online scam ring that solicited younger generations of men and women who’d just started working, had them invest in the rental sports cars companies, with only $20,000N.T. to $40,000N.T. needed to invest, and because the amount wasn’t high, there were, a lot who’d, entered into the “program”.

The police chased the leads, and found that the head was a 22-year-old man, Chuang, he was sentenced for obstruction of sexual freedom, and was just released at the end of last year, he’d found two youths, and set up an online investment scam, used FB, WeChat, and LINE along with other programs to spread the messages of “The Race Car Rental Company: Guaranteed Returns”, claimed that if you invested $20,000N.T in two weeks, you’ll get $10,000N.T. in interest, and claimed that this was legal and stable, “five more spots left, act now!”

Then, Chuang and his accomplices found the multimillion dollar sports car’s photograph, claimed that they just received a brand new car delivered, and someone already booked it for two months in advance, a victim saw the ad on FB and was interested, and Chuang added the person on LINE and started chatting, and as the victim didn’t get the payoff promised, he’d called the police.

As the police interrogated him, Chuang said, that he saw it on the news that someone had used this same way to scam, he thought he should try it too, and, didn’t expect that someone actually, fell for it.  He told the police, that he didn’t even know a thing about the super sports cars, that he’d found the photos online at random, then, copied them onto his own website.

The police found, that this ring had managed to scam the public for over millions within one month of operations, and charged the suspects on fraud, laws against money laundering, and organized crimes.

This, is still, how E-A-S-Y people GET scammed, and it’s still all because of GREED because they think they can get something cheap, without realizing, that YOU get WHAT you P-A-I-D for, and, if something seems too good to be true, then, it probably IS, and yet, people just, overlook these simple ideas, at the face of TEMPTATION!!!

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Cause & Effect, Excuses, Expectations, Scams

To Fulfill Their Dreams, Wei-Xun Yen Donated Over 40,000 Bowls of Suspended Noodle, He’d Sent the Developmentally Delayed Children Out to Sea on a Yacht

Good deeds are still, “infectious” here, translated…

Yen, who was originally a mobster, because the deities appeared to him in a dream, with the consoling of his mother, he’d, turned his own life around, he’d started trekking the island, to donate funds to the orphanages, and he’d borrowed from the ideas of foreign cultures and started providing the donated perishables to help those in need, in just four years, he’d given over 40,000 bowls of noodles, yesterday, he’d even fulfilled the dreams of nearly a hundred residents of an orphanage’s dream of “going out to sea on a yacht”.

“Teacher, look, so many boats”!, the students came to the pier, and were all very, excited, and as they’d set sail on a multi-million dollar yacht, they’d enjoyed the sea breeze that brushed against their faces even more; the teacher, Chen said, that as the children learned that they’re taking a trip out to sea on a yacht, all of them got very excited.

顏維勳已經是第N次接受媒體採訪,從進出監獄的荒唐歲月到發起全台發送愛心物資的「環島行善團」及愛心待用麵店,就像是一齣名為「浪子回頭金不換」的戲劇,注定成為勉勵、警惕世人的題材。(陳明仁攝)he used to be a gangster from before, photo from online…

Actually, the starter of this program, Yen, was imprisoned for manslaughter charges when he was just fifteen, for killing a person with whom he got into a verbal altercation with, he said, that back then, he’d hung around with the wrong crowds every day, that late one night, he’d dreamed that a deity told him, that “do good, you will have problems resolved”, he was doubtful, closed his tattoo parlor, and set up a temple, he received probation for his crimes, and, it’d waken him up, and decided to start anew, as a brand new man again, set up a community, went around the island, to perform the acts of kindness, in one month, he’d trekked across the distant regions, and, donated to over a hundred orphanages.

Yen borrowed the acts of kindness from the international fronts, in his mother’s noodle shop in the marketplace, hung up the sign of “Do-Good Noodle Stand”, and started up the plans of providing the noodles to the needy free of change, so the guests can pay for the unserved noodle, so those who needed the food can have it without having to pay for it, and, his act of kindness, had made a fellow gangster motivated to help out too.

Yen said, that he’d visited an orphanage to deliver the resources, and saw how the children were, drawing out their wishes of setting sail there, and he’d started up the “Distant Dreams” activities, not only was he able to raise a total of $125,000N.T. in funding, the yacht owners supported his cause too, and helped fulfilled the children’s dreams of setting sail out to sea.

“Everybody is glad to help out”, the C.E.O. of the Four Seasons Bay, Lin said, all of our yacht owners were more than happy, to be able, to help out with this cause.

20151103-更生人專訪.(右起)張再興.陳修將.顏維勳(陳明仁攝)and now, he’d sorted through the donations with his friends, and sent them to the orphanages, for those in need!  Photo from online

And so, all it took, for this man, to realize that he was on the wrong paths in life, was having a dream of the local deities, and that was enough, to help steer his life in the right directions, and he’s now, helping to fulfill the dreams of children who couldn’t afford to dream.

This showed, that all you need, to turn your life around, is just that one good thought first, then, you work hard at it, and, you will surely, make a difference in the world too, just as this man had!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Lessons, Life, News Stories, Observations, Overcoming Obstacles, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Turning One's Life Around, Turning Over a New Leaf

Seeing the Love without Boundaries from a Foreign Spouse

How the kindness cycled around, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Last week, I’d gone to a free clinic session for the foreign worker fishermen, because most of the fishermen were from Indonesia, so there was a translator alongside me all the way; I’d had the spare time, and struck up a conversation with her.

“I’d seen you every single time in the free clinics, you’re always smiling, very kind and gentle, you’re, a rare gem!”, I’d commended her.  “Doctor, you thought too much of me, they’re my countrymen, floated across to Taiwan to work, I’m glad, that I can, be of some sort of minute assistance.”

I’d asked her where she came from, “I lived in Jakarta originally, my father is a catering chef, with an unstable income, and there are, too many mouths to feed, and so, in my high school years, I’d, married to Kaohsiung, hoping, to make some extra money, to wire it back home, to help with my family, but………”, she’d taken a very long inhale, continued, “not long after we were wed, my husband was diagnosed with oral cancer, after three surgeries, countless electrotherapy sessions, he could no longer work”.  What made her situation worse was, as her kids rode together on a scooter to visit their father at the hospital, they were hit by a car, her daughter was injured severely, in the I.C.U., her son with fractures, and needing surgery.

Back then, she was looking after her elderly in-laws on her own, her sick husband, and her injured children, she felt hopeless.  But thankfully, her parents in Indonesia wired some money for her, and her eldest sister who’d married to Malaysia flew over especially to help her out too for three months; more importantly, the national health insurance coverages, it’d, helped her out with the costs of the treatments; she’d worked as a translator at the agency during the daytime, at night, she’d gone to school, to hone up on her Chinese skills, her son part-timed through school, they were, just, getting by.

“Actually, the Taiwanese people are quite helpful, I’d met a ton of those who were willing to go out of their ways to assist me, by just being there for emotional support, or those who’d, offered to help me with my finances.  I’m grateful, and in order to pay them back, I’d, signed on these sorts of voluntary work, to make what I can do useful and helpful, and this time, I’d, brought along my children who’d healed from their injuries to volunteer also, to make sure they will note, the love that’s, without the borders in Taiwan.”

Her husband may not be well-educated, or made a lot of money, but she’d, loved Taiwan like it was her home country, as the trials came, she’d, taken them all in, no complaints, no regrets, she’d, utilized her spare time, to hone up on her skills, to acculturate herself into the local communities, and knew to give back, she is, the model citizen for all of the foreign spouses that’s for sure!

And, this, is how this woman was, driven by the cycle of kindness, she was shown kindness when she was in need, when her family had problems, she’d received help from all around her, and that was what drove her, to give back now.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Because of Love, Being Alone, Connections, Cost of Living, Getting Treatment, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Lessons, News Stories, Observations, Overcoming Obstacles, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Socialization, Values

His Wife Had Committed Suicide, Because the Man He Was Seeing Pressured Her to Divorce Her Husband

The results, of the adultery with another man she met from work, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man Lee started dating a waitress at a food shop for over a year then broke up with her, after he’d learned that Cheng was already married, he’d forced her to divorce, and, Cheng became suicidal, took a lot of pills to kill herself, and was rushed to the hospital.  As Cheng’s husband learned that his wife’s suicide attempt was caused by another man, he’d sued Lee for obstruction of family, and the Kaohsiung District Court found Lee guilty of adultery, sentenced him to five months in prison, and he can pay $150,000N.T. to get out of serving the time, and he can still appeal the case.

The verdict pointed out, that Lee (age 40) who works as a voluntary traffic officer, in 2014, met up with Cheng, the waitress, Cheng had kept her marital status a secret and dated him for over a year; after they broke up, Lee learned that Cheng was already married from the other waitresses who worked in the shop, in 2016, he’d invited Cheng to a motel, to have sex with her three times, and asked her to divorce, or that he will show their affair to the open, tell others, Cheng was suspected to not being able to handle the pressures, she’d attempted suicide by swallowing the pills on the early morning hours of August 23rd of last year, and as she was rushed to the hospital, her affair busted out.

As Lee was brought in for questioning, he’d stated, that Cheng had lied about her marital status and gone out on dates with him, that after the first breakup, they’d not contacted each other for over a year, during which time, her coworker told him she was already married, and later, Cheng told him she will take the responsibilities, and so, he’d gone to a motel and had sex with her again.

Cheng also admitted to going three times to the motels to have sex with Lee, the judge believed, that Lee showed a total lack of respect of Cheng’s marriage to her husband, obstructed her family life, and gave Cheng a ton of pressures, in the trials, Lee plead guilty, but didn’t reach a settlement agreement with Cheng’s husband, and found him guilty of three charges of adultery, with two months per count, a combined sentence of five months, and he will be able to pay $150,000N.T. to get out of serving time in jail, the case can still be appealed.

And, because this man felt uneven, that, was why he’d tried to make the woman divorce her husband, and the woman here, was still NO victim, because she’s the one who’d decided to have an affair with him, it’s just, that she’d attempted suicide, which probably makes her seem like the victim of this case, but she really isn’t, because if she hadn’t had the affair, then, everything that followed the events, would’ve, NEVER have happened!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Abusing Someone's Trust, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Excuses, Love Became Revenge, Love Turned into Obsession, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Sisyphus in the Subways of Paris

The help from unknown strangers, that’s, made this woman and her daughter felt warmed in the hearts, translated…

I’d come to understand how Sisyphus was feeling. As I took two suitcases with the illustrated books, standing by the subways of Paris, faced with the dozens of steps heading upward.

Going against gravity, is already, a challenge in itself, let alone, when I’d needed to, push a huge rock that’s, way oversized, way heavier than my own body weight. And so, Sisyphus kept, pushing uphill continually.

Ahhh! I’m, after all, luckier, than Sisyphus, someone offered to help me out.

A graceful woman with silvery hair, used her wrinkled hands, stated in English, that she wanted to, help me out, and, grabbed my small suitcase to carry. I’d understood, that the moment she’d, lifted it up, she’d, be regretting it, because, it was, filled with books, weighed, just like the rocks.

But, why had, this kind hearted elderly woman offered me the helping hand? Because there was a middle aged man who saw her hauling a suitcase as she’d, stumbled up a staircase, and gave her a helping hand. And, she’d, gone down the steps, emptyhanded, and turned around and saw me with great difficulties, climbing up the steps, she’d, immediately, “paid it forward”, and, lifted up the suitcase, that was, apparently, heavier than she was.

I’d naturally, used my English and French, to tell her thanks, but it wasn’t, necessary, but I still had a bigger suitcase in my arms, and, this “evergreen marathoner” had, surpassed me already.

And yet, this pushing the rocks upward, with me, as the last leg. Or maybe, I hadn’t, found where to put my strength to best use yet, I appeared to be too foolish, and, an onlooker can no longer, take it, another younger, more fashionable woman, entered, into this race of mine, and, took the large suitcase I was handling, away from me.

Ah! What, is in this thing? All her friends, started, dissecting my case with their eyes from the various angles, and finally, they were, able to, lift up, that huge rock, then, lift up the legs, push up the steps; lift up the legs, push up the steps………as for me? With nothing in my hand, I’d, used both English AND French, to cheer my helpers on.

I’m, way luckier, than Sisyphus, the rock didn’t roll back down, as it was about, to reach the heights, and, all of those “competitors” who were involved in this race of mine, stood on the top of the stairs, with tears in the eyes, waved goodbye to me. And, my youthful daughter stood, panting, by her large suitcase, with great confusion, watched, this skit that had, happened in the subways.

The two of us, kept sliding the three large suitcases along in the subway of Paris, and, discussed how incredible our adventures were. As we just turned the corners, holy! Stairs! Stairs! Stairs! It seems, we’d, added, a second show, of the “Trials of Sisyphus”!

And so, from this you can see, how helpful, these strangers were, to this mother-daughter pair, and, without the strangers’ kindness, this mother-daughter pair, would’ve, NEVER been able to, carry their two large suitcases up that first flight of stairs, and yet, after they’d passed this first hurdle, there comes, the next one…but, the kindness of the strangers who’d, offered them a helping hand, can’t ever be forgotten that’s for sure!!!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Awareness, Connections, Cost of Living, Interactions Shared with the World, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Story-Telling