Category Archives: Healing Process

Seeing the Things Left Behind by the Loved Ones, Reminded of the Losses, First, You Need to Saturate Your Own Grief & Loss

On dealing with loss, and grief, of losing someone we love, translated…

Three Months Ago, My Husband Died in a Car Accident, We’d Been Together for Thirty Years, and I was, in Mourning, Deeply.  My Daughters are Both Married Already, there’s only Me Remaining at Home, and, Every Time I Saw My Husband’s Belongings, I’d Missed Him, and Started Crying, Uncontrollably.  My Friends Suggested that I Pack Up His Belongings, to Groom Through My Own Feelings, But, Every Time I’d Started Doing that, I Can’t Stop Myself from Breaking Down, Felt like I Can’t Ever, Get Back Up, Get on with My Life without Him, What Do I Do?

As you lost your loved ones, their belongings wouldn’t vanish, and the items left behind, became, “remains”.  The expert in the funeral business, Kuo staid, that it normally takes three months to half a year to digest all those feelings of loss, of sorrows, or maybe, even longer, he’d suggested that before sorting through the remains of things left behind, we need to sort through our feelings first, then, start on taking care of what’s left behind by the ones we loved.

The Life & Death Care Foundation C.E.O., Kuo also mentioned, the most ideal state of being to sort through the remains is when the individual is still living, to start, saying goodbye to the, items, but life is, never predictable, sometimes, someone we love died so suddenly, or had been bedridden for a very long time.  At this time, the families, other than needing to cope with the deaths of their, loved ones, they are also in the midst of the difficulties of sorting through their loved ones’ belongings.

After Sorting Through the Items and Donating Them Out, Telling the Recipients the Items Belonged to Someone Who is Gone

Kuo pointed out, sorting through the remains occurs in three stages: classification, collection, toss or donate.  He’d recommended that the remains get separated into three categories, first, “thrown away”, including medications, clothes, shoes or anything that’s used, the items that you wouldn’t feel bad about throwing away, can all be placed in this category.

Second, the “Reusable”, like books, new clothing, tossing out, would be a waste but, keeping them, there’s no use, save them in the stack of “reusable”, to donate to the welfare organizations or to those who might be in need of use, or, find a thrift shop to sell.  There’s no agency that takes in these items that were left behind specifically here, Kuo believed, that before the clothes were donated, do let the organizations know that they belonged to someone who’d passed, so the organizations wouldn’t have any issues.

based off of Kubler-Ross from online

Keeping What’s Sentimentally Valuable or Valuable to You

Lastly, there are the items that are, “of sentimental values”, “the items with the sentimental values are the hardest to sort through”.  The experts stated, placing everything that’s hard to say goodbye to after someone you loved is gone into the “memories we shared” files.  Including photos, paintings and art, or the items they’d collected, place all you want to keep with you in a cluster, then, categorize them by types.  The photos, in the longer-keepsake boxes, the collectibles that your loved ones left for you, you can either sell them off, or keep them.

Kuo mentioned, “traditionally, the clothing would be, burned, but I believe, that those clothing items with sentimental values can be kept,” she’d said, the clothes have the scents of those whom you loved, it can keep the nostalgia alive, while, the rest, after discussing with the families, can get tossed into the recycle bins.

Kuo stressed, that through the step-by-step, sorting to the items of your loved ones who’d passed, it’s saying goodbye to those whom you’d, lost, collecting up your loss, and sorrows, so you can, face the rest of your lives, without them.

And so, this is how we need to say goodbye, to those whom we loved, and died, and yet, it’s, not that easy, because at the very beginning after they had just died, we missed them like crazy, because of the love, the connections that are still, intact, and we can’t even, bear to, sort through anything that belonged to them, this is only natural, but, eventually, as time passes, you will find the strengths in yourselves, to, sort through the things that your loved ones left behind, and, separate these items into piles of donate, keep, sell, etc., etc., etc., and, after you sort through every piece, you’d fully and properly, bid the ones you love so much, farewell.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Theories & Applications

Those Who Were Left by the Suicides of Their Loved Ones, Offering the Prayers, & the Blessings

On suicide, the families left behind, and how they can, start to heal, after sorting out the reasons of why they’d lost their loved ones to suicide, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The suicide of the famous person caused media attention, but this is just, the ripples from the classic and ordinary suicide in the society, people wanted to know “why?”, hoping to have an answer for the events that had, occurred.  For instance, the online community commented that if the families stayed by the side of the individual, then, maybe, it could be, prevented, or the discussions of how we can, accompany those with love who had been diagnosed with depression, how do we get them to therapy, to get them to take their medications?  Could the suicide have been prevented, if we’d managed the symptoms of depression well enough?

All of these beliefs, aimed at some sort of psychological control of what we couldn’t have controls over, through the linear cause and effect, B caused A, if we take B away, then, A wouldn’t, happen, and it seemed, that we would be, in control, and we get that sense of, security in our minds then.

In truth, there’s no direct and simple cause of suicides, only the multiple risk factors, and the protective factors, with a higher number of risk factors, then, the chances of suicide increase greatly, like major psychological illnesses, alcoholism, substance abuse, despair of impulsivity, unemployment or loss of assets, and how the act of seeking help is mislabeled; the protective factors, on the other hand, can help lower the risks of suicide, like getting into treatment physically or psychologically, the support of the families, the society, faith, etc., etc., etc.  And yet, no matter how hard we tried to prevent, suicides still happen, and it would have an everlasting effect on those who were left behind, the “remaining population” of the suicides.

And, we often think of the families of the individuals who’d committed suicide, but, there’s a wider spectrum of those who were affected, including those who bore witness to the suicide, the friends, relatives, classmates, coworkers, neighbors, the medical professionals who took care of the individuals who’d died.  For instance, I’d once heard the survived of suicide individuals shared, that as the therapist of the individual who’d committed suicide had been notified, the therapist was shocked, “how can this be, the last two times I saw her/him, s/he was okay”, and this showed, how shocked and how the therapist couldn’t accept the death of the patient.  And, the past researches showed, that as the media overreported on the events, it may cause the modeling effect.  Those who learned of the suicide first hand or by word of mouth, who are directly or indirectly affected by the events, are all the more generalized “survivors of suicides”.

The trauma reaction to the news of suicides, the memories with the individuals who’d committed suicide, the support and interactions of the individual with their loved ones, reviewing over ones’ own life experiences, etc., etc., etc., all of these may be the experiences of the survivors of suicides.  And, anybody who’d been affected by a suicide can do the following to care for oneself:

First, find someone who will listen and accompany you, to tell the individual about how the suicide impacted you, how it’d made you feel.  As a therapist, I’d reminded the families who are survived to find someone who listens, who can accept all the reactions to the griefs, to the losses, someone who won’t jump in to give the advices too soon.

Secondly, the survivors can get involved into the groups relating to the survivors of suicides, for instance, the Care Foundation for the Survivors of Suicide, finding the FB of this particular association, you can get the needed resources (for instance, the video files, the illustrated books/articles on the matter), there are also opportunities to be with those who’d experienced the loss from a suicide of a loved ones, to seek out the emotional and social support of a shared experience.

Third, the survivors can also consider therapy, the therapists will try and help the individuals to find the means that works for the persons singly, to cope with the enormous losses of your lives.

Finally, in the clinical work we are doing, through the creations of various means, or giving to others, it helps the survivors find the meanings, for instance, writing or art, gardening, or immersing oneself into the volunteer services, etc., etc., these are what the families of suicides mentioned had helped them out.  It’s not easy to reconstruct ourselves after we’d lost someone to suicide to death, but, it’s not impossible.  So, let’s use our own ways, to help send the prayers and the blessings to those who are left behind by their families, for those who’d weathered through the suicides of their loved ones.

And so, this is on helping those families who’d lost someone to suicide heal, and this is a very hard process to manage, because death is never easy, especially when someone you loved chose to take her/his own life, for whatever reasons there may be, and, you may wonder why, and get stuck, because you will never find the answer to why, because the only one who can answer that question had already gone, and, you will have to, pull yourself out of that deep dark hole, but with the help of the support groups mentioned, or the therapy sessions, you can, walk out of this.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, the Finality of Life, Values

The Traumas Your Minds Can’t, Remember…

The traumas your minds can’t, remember, well, guess what?  Your bodies, keep track, and, there, ain’t NO way, of dodging, that hard-hitting, tornadoes that’s, comin’, all your, ways there.

The traumas your minds can’t, remember, other parts (don’t ask which “parts”) of your, entire, “being” will, keep on, keeping track of, and, you won’t know, when the triggers of what happened will, make you, unwind, and everything will, break loose, suddenly, because that, is how it goes!

The traumas your minds can’t, remember, oh, but your minds, remembered them, every single last one, it’s just, that your minds knew, you are, not quite ready yet to deal, so, to protect you, they’d, wrapped you up, inside, those, bubbles, to insulate you from the pains.

with the layers, one, inside of another, and another, and another, and, another…photo from online

But eventually, your body remembered and, it will, remind your minds of, your traumas, and, it will, HIT you, too hard, ‘cuz you’d been wrapped, safe and sound, insulated, unsuspecting, just like IDIOTS (so???  Feel free to take them offenses, why don’t ya!), without a single clue.

Then, WHAM!  All hell breaks, L-O-O-S-E, and…

Yeah, sorry, I’m not here to help, ‘cuz, my hands are, T-I-E-D!

NOT my problem, I’d already, DEALT with every single, FUCKED up shit in my fucking life here, and besides, I got my best friend, NIMBY, as my, best, “defense”, so………

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Children Murdered, Children that Didn't Have to Die, Coping Mechanisms, Healing Process, Life, Mental Health Issues, Overcoming Obstacles, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma

We Shouldn’t be Easily Completed

Life is a winding road, that we’re all, traveling, and healing still takes, FOREVER, a poem, translated…

Time is Limited, We are

Just about Used Up the Night’s Moonlight

The Moon, Shaped in a Hook, the Night, Flowed Along like Water

We Felt Tonight Together

That it’s Calling Out to Us, to Finish Something

But, We are, Uncertain of What We Can Get Done

and, here’s what that road, looks, like…

查看來源圖片
and it still, never ends, or at least, we can’t, see it! Photo from online

Anything at All

We Can Only be, Completed

To the Point of, Doing, Nothing at All, Only

Set Out

——We are Always Going Places

Feeling the Excitements, the Uncertainties

The Fears of Not Knowing Where We’re Headed

The Bumps, the Twists & Turns in the Roads

That Excitement, Compounded with the Worries

We Will, Keep on Tripping & Falling Down

Getting Lost

Flipping through that Map Too Many Times It’d Become, Torn Up

And, Missed that Only Ride

To Where We’re Headed————Afar

Or Maybe, After a Break Up

We’d Both Known, We’re Supposed to

Travel Alone for the Rest of What Follows

Some Sights are Fitted, for Seeing Alone

Or, Maybe, Not Being Seen at All

We Will Always be on the Way

It’s Just, Finding Our Own Individual Tracks

In the Tracks of Millions of Billions of Man

Our Questions, Not Yet Answered,

The Doubts, Incomplete

Not Taken Flight Yet

Not Yet, Embraced Still

There’s No Beliefs of: Because the Night is So Persistent

That a Tear Fell Completely Either

And so, this just goes to show, how the healing process is the work of an entire lifetime, you may be on your ways to healing now, but, you’re just not yet, finished, you can’t see the end, because, it’s, nowhere in sight, but you know, you need to, keep on going, to find that closure over, what you’d lost in your lives.

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Filed under Healing Process, Life, Loss, Philosophies of Life, Poetry, Properties of Life, Unrequited Love

Since that Time I’d, Met You

李泰祥 告別 – YouTube a song by the man, off of YouTube

yes, the link works!

A magical, song, that helped this individual find the comfort she was desperate in need of, in a foreign place, without anybody else she knows to support her, to get her through the hard times translated…

Back then, I was living in Australia, a step, from being, psychologically, broken, down.

From my front door looking out, you can see that tallest hill where the Tasmanian capital is located, with the snow still not yet completely, melted, like a chubby child with a white hat, staring, back at me.  I’d, missed the mountains of Hualien, even though, it’s always, with that, mysterious look covering over them, but, they’d had, so many, good stories to tell, and every time, a different tale.

I also miss that tabby that fell seriously ill the moment we got off the plane, and, after emergent resuscitations, she got so upset, she ignored the medical staff that saved her life, and, started, ranted incessantly aloud at me, blamed us, for not letting her just die.  I’d, buried her at the public pet cemeteries, and, then questioned, why I’d, come to, Australia, with a few sets of attires, fifteen casings of books, along with my doctoral dissertation I just, started working on.

I’d originally thought, that by leaving Taiwan, starting a new love, can help me leave the annoying Taipei, to get away from the restraints of interpersonal relations, and to, restart my career in the academia, and can wave goodbye, to the worsening of the relationships I’d shared with my parents that’s gone on, for close to, two decades.  But the truth be told, I’d just, fallen out of that first hole, into, another, hole, and, as I started living in the foreign land for the few days, and realized that it’s not quite right, too late then.  The two of us, under the same roof, nothing to say to one another, but, the process of moving internationally, was too difficult, and, to stop the process, it’s, next to, impossible now.

Tasmania is close to the South Pole, the island that’s roughly the same size as Taiwan, is covered by half with national parks in area, beautiful scenery, the summers here, are colder than winters in Taiwan, the sun out short.  Life is simple here, eating out, too expensive, on weekends, almost NO shops are opened.  Other than fixing my three meals per day, I’d worked, endlessly, night and day, on my dissertation, the music history research materials I’d collected for more than a decade became, a huge mess, the more I panicked, the more I was, unable, to come up with something, and it became, next to impossible for me, to get my thoughts straight.

More importantly, my partner who’s, not from the same culture as I, it’d made me even more panicky of the differences that we have, and confrontation became a way of our lives, whether it be using English or Chinese to communicate, I feel I was losing my ability to speak.  My body, mind, are both, crashing down fast, the old injuries not yet healed back up, and the new ones came, and, what I have left in me, was only, enough, barely, to maintain that peace on the, surfaces of our lives together.

But the days marched on just the same.  In the small library in the city, I’d started checking out the various kinds of music, to try and soothe my own, unsettlement of mind, to attempt to squeeze out what joys I possibly can, in this, mess of my own life.

One day, I’d received a package from my older sister, opening it up, it was that album that glowed of the golden rays of sunshine.  On Li Tai-Hsiang’s “Since I Last Met You”, the album cover, that field of green Taiwan was what greeted me, I felt shocked, too long since I last saw the bright sunshine.  Although I couldn’t understand why my older sister selected the type of music that I never listened to, nor was I interested in the male tone of voice, but I’d thought, I got, nothing to lose.

The sound of guitar came on, spread out, like the daisies growing on the hillside.  His singing sent me spinning around, I’d suddenly, lost my foothold, and I started, floating in air.  I was shocked, at how someone can sing so coldly with a voice, but so, passionately at the same time, the tone was sharp, yet, calm and collected, heated up, but quite, cooled at the same time.  The multitudes of conflicts all sung aloud, in his voice, fuller in form and sound, and, it’d, ironed flat these, bumps, these holes in my heart.

The song for the very first time I’d heard, no matter what the words were, I couldn’t hear the lyrics.  The sound of violin, loosened up my tightened shoulders.  In that piano, sounding like the lute, came the heart that’s, not been, cared for for too long.  His voice broke that invisible armor down that I put on, I saw how the fatigue, the upsets that’s, been, piling up on my life then, plus, the loneliness, the hardship I’d faced living in a foreign land, how everything made me unsettled, how I’d had to, hold my breaths in, to get through another day, how I was, taxed out, slowly, bit by bit, little by little, by the, days.

That naïve in the music, was so magical to me.  Lee’s voice was full, with that untamed feel to it, passed that passion he had for life to me.  Sitting silently, in front of that stereo, although I’d not known what my next steps are going to be, but, it seemed, that I’d not felt, so lost, so, tangled, so, hopeless anymore.

In the time of that song playing completely from start to finish, my heart that’s become like the desert, there was, that tiny yellow bud, starting, to bloom.

And so, this must be, an amazing artist, because his voice had that ability to help you feel healed up, and that, is what a good song does for people, the voice of the artist, can have that calming effect to us, and the lyrics, we can find the wisdom we are seeking in our lives in them too, not to mention the melodies of the notes that sounded, smooth-flowing, with that needed, calming effect we are, in desperate need of.

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Filed under Awareness, Healing Process, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Finding Solace in the Words…

Finding solace in the words, the words that spoke, directly, to me, it seemed, that the writer really, knows, what I’d been, going through, my whole life!

Finding solace in the words, this, is what we all want, to make that connection, to feel, that we’re not, all alone, in this world, that we’re, currently, experiencing, ALL the, bad parts in right now.

But, we’re, ALL, alone, separate, entities, standing on, our own, by our own, selves here, and, NOBODY can, take these, pains away!

Finding solace in the words, I’d, tried, so very hard, to find some sort of a commonality of our, experiences, and yet, I kept, coming up, empty handed, but how’s that even, possible, when we’re, almost, identical, in our, experiences in our, separate lives?

like, this…

查看來源圖片
found online

Finding solace in the words, yeah, I’d found EVERYTHING in these words that I’m, currently, writing out, and through the verses, the passages of the books I’d read, and I don’t need, NOTHING (and your point being???) more.

Got everything I will, EVER need, right here (don’t ask where “here” is still)!

Finding solace in these words, you’re in need, of, too much comforting, and I can’t give it, ‘cuz, I ran out, and, you can’t get what you need, nor what you want, from me, as in, E-V-E-R, and that’s, that!

Note: this is still NOT (why am I repeating myself here again???) directed toward ANYBODY who CAN read, and if you can’t read yet, and you understand this article, do give me a call, I’d loved to meet ya…

Yeah, uh, right…………

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Filed under Healing Process, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Writing

What is Taken Away from Your Education?

Lessons we learned, from school, from our own, experiences in life, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Recently I’d made the speeches at the schools, as the speech ended, a parent led two children to before me.  “Professor, I was your student, do you still remember me?”  This was every instructor’s nightmare, I’d, worked really hard, to think back on all the students, and just, couldn’t, recall her name; but I’d still smiled and told her, “let me think!”, as she’d heard me say this, her smile did not fade, she’s not, disappointed one bit, but her second-grade daughter looked up at her innocently, “Mom, your teacher can’t remember you!”

I felt very awkward after hearing, before I could reply, she’d immediately told her child, “Do you know how many students the professor’s had?  How can she remember every one, but, so long as I remember her!”, then, she’d, started speaking of her middle school careers, that with the problems she’d, faced in life then, how I’d, given her the advices she’d needed, “because you’d, counseled me, teacher, so I will, never forget you, as I saw the flyer on the seminar, I was so excited to come, to thank you.” as she’d told me, I still, can’t quite, remember her, but, I’d felt, very touched by her words.

The following day, a student used the communication app to contact me, this particular student had been, hurt by a certain teacher, he’d come back to me to tell me about what happened, to seek out my counsel, it took me sometime, but I’d, accompanied him, helped him out; back then, I’d, encouraged him: you need to turn what happened to you, into your driving force, if there’s a chance, you must, help those who’d been hurt like you had.  Back then he’d told me, that he will, work hard, to become a teacher who can, help his students.  In his final year of high school, he wrote me that with his grades, there was, NO chance he will ever be a school teacher, so, he was, willing, to become, a serviceman, to fight to protect the country.

And now, many years afterwards, he’d, shared with me everything he’d weathered through in the armed services, and he’d, mentioned what happened to him again back in middle school, and stressed to me, that even though he wasn’t, highly ranked, he will use his past as a teacher, to NEVER make the mistakes his middle school instructor had made.

After I’d read, although I’d felt glad, but, I couldn’t help but feel: that the first woman told me, “so long as I remember you!”.  It symbolized, I don’t’ need your affirmations from your memories, but I will remember, that was, the demands that one made of, one’s own, characters, to never forget to be, thankful.  While the second student, couldn’t forget about the shame, but he’d not, selected, to take revenge, instead, he’d, turned his shame into something he could, learn from, to remind himself, to NEVER shame another like he’d been, shamed.  Think on his, how many people we will meet, how many things we can, encounter, in our, lifetimes!

Who remembered us, it isn’t, that important, what’s important is who we remembered?  Well, it’s, not that important either, the important being WHY we remember who or what we remember?  Those that happened, those whom we remembered, what were their, influenced on us?  From these two students, I saw the choices of attitude, how they’d, chosen to make themselves feel happy, how by choosing to forgive, it’d, given him peace, to use the past as a mirror to reflect, to have a life without regrets, what, will you, choose?

And so, this, is something worth pondering on, what, do you remember when you graduated?  I’m sure, that it’s not the course load, the books, the materials, or even what you’d made on your exams, it’s the experience of learning, of accumulating the knowledge, of the lessons that life teaches us that we will, carry with us from here on out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Awareness, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Cause & Effect, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Current Events, Education, Expectations, Healing Process, Improper Behaviors of an Adult, Improper Behaviors of School Instructors, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Maturation, Observations, Overcoming Obstacles, Unsafe in the Schools, Values

Getting Out from Postpartum Depression

Translated…

Upon hearing recently, that a woman committed suicide due to postpartum depression, after work, my husband inquired, if I’d felt okay lately?  If something’s up, I needed to let him know.

Compared to three years ago when my firstborn got here, my husband had metamorphosed from that self-centered big boy, into a man who puts his family first.  That year, my first child came, my husband’s “living life his way” made me feel so very helpless and alone, the “active participations” from my in-laws made me feel even MORE pressures; plus the economical burdens, I’d washed my face with my tears every single day.

Even after my month long recuperation is up, the anxieties, the self-mutilations, even the thought of taking my child with me to suicide, still circled around my mind again and again.  I’d told my husband of it, and, he’d blamed me for being too anal.  What’s most impressive was, when I’d told him I’d wanted to get professional medical help, he’d replied, “You should go to Africa instead, fighting to survive there every single day, that’ll keep your mind away from feeling depressed!”

Whether or not it was a joke, I’d still can’t believe, that someone who’d educated as he, a dentist, graduated from a public university, can say something so awful.  And, if my husband, who had medical trainings behaved as such, then, what trials must the other women who are also dealing with postpartum depression be faced with, would they be able to, receive the understandings of their separate families?

Thankfully, I have a supportive group of church friends, they’d helped take care of my child, took me to the free counseling sessions offered by the church; the counselor, after knowing my situation, encouraged me to see a professional.  In the seeing of the psychiatrist, I’d found, that other than the medications, the national health insurances also covered the talk therapy sessions as well.

Through the talking therapy session, I’d slowly felt better, learned to introspect and gotten some techniques to help me get along better with my husband.  From the three to four times fight a day, to one fight every three to four months, and now, we have two babies, and are expecting a third.  My friends joked about how intimate I must be getting with my husband, driving us to have so many children.  Yeah, certainly, compared to the postpartum depression experiences, we are now, interacting, so much better.  Postpartum depression may be a crisis of a marriage, but it can also be a chance, to better your interactions with your partners too.

And so, this woman worked, very hard, to get herself OUT of her own postpartum troubles, and, postpartum depression is still NOT a myth, you LOSERS, it’s real, and so, the next time your separate ladies start showing signs after they gave birth to YOUR young, DO show us some kindness!

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Family Matters, Healing Process, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Obstacles in a Relationship, Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Psychosis & Other Problems from After Birth, Properties of Life

You Can Give Up if You Want to…

You can give up if you want to, baby, I know it’s been hard, you’re a fighter, I know, but, I don’t want to see you fight anymore, because we’re fighting a war, with absolutely NO chance of us, winning it!

You can give up if you want to, don’t be so headstrong, child, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, and, surely, I will grieve, very hard, for you, but, that, is just how people deal with losses in their lives, they CRY, they MOURN for it, but, after a good cry, we still all must, get BACK up and run again.

You can give up if you want to, I know you’re a fighter, but, I don’t want to see you suffer anymore, so, just give up already, love.  You can give up if you want to, I won’t hold it against you, I know you love me, and I know that you know I love you too, and, I just can’t bear, seeing you slowly, deteriorate away, so, just let go, it’ll be okay, I promise………

You can give up if you want to, that doesn’t mean that you’d lost the fight, oh no, I will keep on, fighting, on your behalf, letting the world know your story, I will carry on everything you never got a chance to see and do, I will live on, and let the world know about you, so, you will NEVER be forgotten by anybody whose lives you’d touched.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Healing Process, Letting Go, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Properties of Life

Cussing His Cancer Friend Out, It’s Sparked the Will to Live in Him

Helping someone who’s in the same predicament out, translated…

After my eldest uncle died of stomach cancer, I feared that there’s the inherited genes, I’d gone to the hospital for a check up, and, I was in the third stage of stomach cancer.  I’d thought, that after the surgeries, I will be fine, but, I’d started, retaining water, so I’d had to have a bag connected to my bladder at all times, and I’d become, a “backpacker” ever since, and, the will to live had, slipped away from me, little, by little, I’d really wanted to, just DIE.

Because I’m a Christian, other than having my faith to help carry me through, I’d relied on other members of my congregation, as well as my wife, to help me through, it’d made me realize, just how much luckier I am, compared to some of those who fell ill.  After I’d realized just how lucky I truly am, I’d decided, to turn what I’d weathered through thus far, into something greater, I’d gone to volunteer at the hospital, helped others to regain their health back again, sometimes, I’d gone to volunteer during the mornings, and, gone through my chemo treatments in the afternoons, and, even though, my body felt awful, I’d never complained, my coworker said, that I was working really hard.

Being a volunteer is very meaningful, you can share what you went through, with those who are still, fighting hard, sharing with them, let them know, “if I can, so can you.”  One time, I’d met a person who’s ill, he’d lost his will to live, and kept hollering nonstop how he’d wanted to die, I’d gotten angry, grilled him, “You think that you can give up, at any time you wish?  That you can lose your life at anytime you want to?”

Life, is all about, battling, ‘til that final drop of blood drips from your body, then, winning and losing, is decided, if you want to win, then, you need to keep a healthy mind and body, through exercising, to keep the cancer from coming back.  After that patient who’s diagnosed with cancer had heard me, he was originally, in a state of NOT eating ANYTHING, that day, he’d had a hearty meal, and, made the decisions, to live out his life fully, however long it may be, and that, was the biggest gain for volunteering for me.

Knowing that your stories can help someone out, to help the person have a brand new perspective, it’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it?  And that, just shows, how easily you can affect someone, to help change a life, and, this person didn’t even make ANY monetary donations too, imagine THAT!

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Filed under Attitude, Healing Process, Helping Behaviors, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Wake Up Calls