Category Archives: Connections

Companionship at Old Age

GET a D-O-G, that’s my ADVICE!!!

Companionship at old age, someone who can, take care of me, as I age, someone with whom, I can, connect with intimate (not SEX!!!), someone with whom I can, share my innermost feelings with, someone who will, accept me for who I am…………

Companionship at old age?  Yeah, be your own companion, because if you can’t even, get alone with yourselves from before, and if you’d, failed to set up that tight-knit connection to your own loved ones, what the #$%@ (maxed!) makes you think, that your next-of-kin will, want to, stay close to you?  After all, it is, too important, that we surround ourselves with those whom we are, related to by blood (our offspring, next-of-kin, relatives, spouse, etc., etc., etc.), right?

how nobody wants to end up with…

living alone, in the, darkness…photo from online

Companionship at old age, very important, because, the lack of socialization, can make your brains deteriorate more quickly, than the original speed that your brains, deteriorate at.  Companionship at old age, not just anybody at random, but those that you cared for, raised when they were children, and, because you’d taken care of them, put clothes on their backs, foods into their stomachs, provided for their school tuitions, there’s, NO reason why they wouldn’t want to be near you, when you’re, old and gray, right???

WRONG! Despite how much you think you’d, given to your children, if you can’t make them feel the love you have for them, who’s to say, that they won’t turn out as ingrate like I became one, huh???

And yes, this is still, from the life and times, of a total INGRATE: ME!!!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Being Alone, Connections, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Karma, Loneliness/Solitude, Messed Up Values, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Socialization, Values, Wake Up Calls

The Warmth of that Glow

How you went from being the bully of an outcast of the class, to siding with her, becoming her best friend, translated…

Before Christmas, my good friend, Yu-Jeng sent a surprise to me, it was her own handmade mistletoe wreath.  With the card in the box that it came in, with the words, “Hope the warmth of the symbols from this keep illuminating both our hearts.”  As I read how delicate her handwriting, which hadn’t changed for years, I’d found, that this woman seemed to have forgotten, that twenty years earlier, she’d already, shone that light on my life already.

I met Yu-Jeng when I was only twelve.  Back then, my behaviors were, foolish, and I’d, had, many enemies in my classes in middle school, and, a group of girls, sent her to undercover to act as my friend, to get the intel on me, so they can, take advantage of me, and, just as they’d expected, being outcast by the class, I’d, quickly become, besties with Yu-Jeng; it’s just, that the “enemies” not long after we were friends, sent out the message of how she was, an “undercover spy”, to attempt to get Yu-Jeng to become loyal to the group again, and gain my trust in them.

As I’d, heard these rumors, I’d not prodded Yu-Jeng for the truth, perhaps, it’s how I’d turned, after being victimized by bullies too long, I’d, gone soft, we became friends, and, if the affinity is there, then, we shall stay friends, and if not, then, no big deal.  And, a few days later, Yu-Jeng pulled me into the girls’ bathroom, and, told me everything, and, the summation of what she said was this: “Compared to you, I think, they’re, the weird bunch!”

And so, I’d, turned the undercover.  And, for the days that followed, Yu-Jeng stood up, fearlessly, against the pressures of our peers, and, stood by my side, we’d, turned in our, group work reports, run the laps together for P.E., solved the equations in math together, eating all our lunches for the three years of middle school together.  She’d not even 150 centimeters in height, and, as the wind blew too hard on the days of the typhoons, the wind was, carrying her off, and yet, in that, tiny frame of hers, there’s, enormous, courage to stand up for me against her peers, no matter how thick the smoke, how hard the cannons, the gun fires came towards me, she’d always, stood, shoulder-to-shoulder with me.  Those days of, being an outcast, being singled out, it was her, who’d, illuminated, my memories.

After the generalized exams of our third year, I’d, tested into the academic track, she, into the community college high school programs.  During those years without the communication apps, every day before our birthdays we’d, texted to one another to meet up, then, I’d, entered into university from high school, married after graduation, become a full-time housewife, she’d tested into the university from her community college track, started working at a firm, then, switched tracks, then, entered into marriage.  The reality may have, baptized us of that wildness of our youths, but, these sorts of deep connections, became ever the more precious as the years pass by.  These couple of years, because how busy I had been, I’d lost track with a lot of my old friends, and, even if as I was too busy, too stressed, Yu-Jeng would still remember me for me, when I felt too tired to carry on, she’d, sent me a text of encouragement, or a gift.

Up to here, I’d, picked up that wreath she’d sent to me——the light scent of cinnamon, lowkey, but, awakening, just like the small-framed woman, seemingly cold and aloof, after getting along long enough, there’s that flow of warmth from her.  Even as twenty years had flown by us, she’d still, stubbornly, looked after my heart, like that source of stable light, pulled me back as I was about to fall.  I’m too blessed, to have a friend who knows when I’m weakened by my own trials of life, who’s willing to, give me a hand to help pull me up.

And so, this, is how the depth of connection from your school years lasted until you are both adults, and, because yoiu broke out of the “norm” of your clique, and started, standing by the outcast who’d become, your close friend and confidant, and because of those earlier years of comradery, that’s why the two of you are still, connecting with one another to this very day.

Friends for L-I-F-E here is what you’d made!

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Filed under Bullying, Connections, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Best Friend

The guardian of the threshold, who’d helped this individual, connect with others, that s/he originally felt awkward, and not comfortable enough in doing, we all need someone like this in our lives at one time or another, translated…

I’d always been too shy growing up, and didn’t have that many good friends, although I’m not completely an outcast of my class, but I’d, always, stayed by myself.  Those girlfriends who’d gone to the drinking fountain to get water together, going to the restrooms hand-in-hand, I’d never had the experiences of.  I’d originally thought, I would, be alone like this until I grow up, but him being there, helped me changed this, sorrowful, predicament.

Don’t know when he’d started, noticing me, but I always remembered those first words he’d blurted to me, “hi, can you lend me a pen?” and from a pen, my story started getting, rewritten.

someone who helped us, fit in…

查看來源圖片
from online

After I’d lent him that pen, he’d started, borrowing things from me more frequently, even nicknamed me “the Kind”.  He’d introduced me to the circle of his own friends, and when we divide up in groups, he’d, gotten me in too.  As I’d become more aware, we’d become, inseparable then, the best of, friends.

Because of him, more and more people in class started noticing me, and on the way to school, I would get greeted by others too, I’d felt that I’m, a part of, the class now.  I’d become, more connected with the class, and, whenever the group activities were assigned to us, I no longer felt, as, anxious.

Many years later, we’d lost touch, but my gratitude toward him still didn’t get reduced one bit.  If we have the chance of bumping into one another again, I want to tell him, “Hey, thanks!”

And so, this is someone who’d, acted as a threshold guardian to you in your schooling years, he’d helped you open up a bit, so you would feel more connected with everybody who’s around you, and you no longer felt, as isolated and alone in the class.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Kindness Shown, Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images

When You Get Depressed…

Hey, don’t drag ME down with ya!  I just, climbed out, of that HOLE, not long ago, and yet, it’s, your, turn…

When you get depressed, my skies, stays dark, with the shadows, and the thunder clouds, rolling in the distances, coming, near, near, and nearer, threatening that huge storm.

When you get depressed, get your self out, I don’t CARE what you need to do, see that therapist, pop a ton of pills, eletroconvulsive therapy even, just, get it, F-I-X-E-D already!

like this…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

When you get depressed, it affects me too, because I’m, your wife (yeah, uh and you wish!!!), and, being, an emotionally-connected couple, we feel, EVERYTHING that one another’s, going through (and I still wonder, WHY can’t you go through MY labor pains for me here!!!).  When you get depressed, I knew better than to get in your way, I’d, ducked for cover, hide, underneath, anything I can find, and, keep my fingers crossed that it’s (whatever I’m hiding under???) sturdy enough, that my protective covers, don’t get, blown…………………

And yet, I still, get, H-I-T, by your thunder, lightning, and everything that, hurts!

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Filed under Connections, Enmeshment, Life, Marriages, Mental Health Issues, Perspectives, Properties of Life

With Tar Covering Up His Shoes, Huang Built the Bridges, Paved the Roads, for Thirty Years

Here’s a man, who’d, given everything he’s got, to better the lives of those in his, hometown, off of the Newspapers, translated…

Every morn, as the skies just turned white, Huang put on his work boots, and readied for work, headed out, this pair of tar-covered, heavier as the days went by pair of work boots of his, had followed him, as he’d, paved many a bridge, filled up, a ton of potholes on the roads, and, he wouldn’t dispose of them, until, they’re, opened up at the front.  As soon as he left his home, the Jia-Yi Goodwill Group’s road fixing crew is already, speeding close, the workers greeted each other good morning, Huang got on, and started the daily routines of fixing up the roads he’d begun some thirty odd years back.

The seventy-eight year-old man, Huang worked as a volunteer paver of local roads, builder of bridges, from before, because his older sister lived close to the office of the goodwill group, she’d gotten involved in volunteering first, and, she saw that he was leisurely on the weekends, she’d pulled him along, for him to exercise his muscles and bones, to help building the bridges, and, he’d become, “stuck” in this calling once he’d, started scraping the sands together, moving the concretes a day at a time, he’d laughed and said, “I can’t go back now!” of his volunteer work.

the man…photo courtesy of UDN.com

黃萬枝總站在第一線做最辛苦的工作。記者卜敏正/攝影

He’d told, that at the start of his volunteer career, he was still working at a public office, and he’d started, moving the items, digging for the foundations, mixing the concrete, although he felt tired in his body, but he was, more, fulfilled then, and since, he’d gone to help build the bridges every single week.

He stated, that over a decade ago after he’d retired, there are more time then, for him, to help pave the roads, later he’d, bought a professional tar truck that helps pour down the tar on the roads, more sturdy after the roads were, paved.

黃萬枝的工作鞋沾滿黑色瀝青,他卻認為方便工作。記者卜敏正/攝影
with his shoes covered in tar…photo from UDN.com

“The foreman, Huang was always first!”, the C.E.O. of his group, Goodwill Chiayi, Kuo told, that every time Huang helped with building of the bridges, to patch up the roads, he’d always stood first in line, worked the hardest job, his face was often covered in dusts, ashes, with that heavy layer of tar covering up his work boots, and others around him reminded him that he should get a brand new pair, he’d smiled and said, “the boots now withstands high heat, easier for me to work in!”

And so, this is how you can become, generative (in generativity vs. stagnation???) after you retired, find that something you can pour your hearts and soul into, and just do it, like this man, who saw a need, and, provided it.

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Filed under Connections, Helping Behaviors, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Retirement, Values

Point of Origin

One small act of kindness, and how it, generates, into, more and more, acts of kindness, affecting the individual on the receiving end of that kindness at first, then, expand outward, into the world, it all starts, with something tiny here!  Translated…

There’s a tiny sea turtle pin that I own, gold in color, about three, to four centimeters in size, it’s normally, kept inside that wooden box by the headboards of my bed, like it was, some sort of an heirloom, only on the special occasions, would I use it.  Because this sea turtle pin gave me the courage, to get up on stage.

Remembering back in college, my appointing professor had me stand in as the announcer of an international conference, to introduce all the sea turtle experts from in and out of the country, one of the lecturer from Hawaii saw that I was nervous, as I’d confirmed with him on the pronunciation of his name, he’d, especially, slowed down his speaking speed, and used the simple words in English, “don’t worry, you will, do well!  You’re still young, there are many more opportunities for you to get on stage in your future!”, then, he’d, handed me, this sea turtle pin, for it to wear it on my coat.

And, can’t imagine, that many years later, I’d, become, a lecturer of advocate of ocean environmental protection, while this lecturer, whom I’d called, “Grandpa Sea Turtle”, he’d become, my friend, and mentor too.  And even now, this sea turtle pin, was not only an item that brought me good luck, it was, also, a reminder.  Reminding me of the truly important things in my life, that the purpose of it all, is to, make someone feel good, comfortable, the kindness too tiny to take a note of, that is, the most, precious, gift we can, give to, one another.

查看來源圖片
like this, how an act can create, a huge, ripple! from online

And so, this, is on how someone noted how nervous you were about making the speech, and offered you that peace of mind, to help you relax, and, you’re now, passing this cycle of kindness that was, once, shown to you, because the important thing in life is, making a tiny difference in the lives, of others.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Friendships, Kindness Shown, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values

Sharing Underneath the Starry Night Skies

A good way, to put that cadence on the past year, and start off fresh, on a, new note for this year!  Translated…

For the New Year’s in the past, we’d, gone by tradition, passed it day after day, gathered at the round table for the New Year’s Eve meals, gone to the relatives’ to wish everybody there a happy New Year, to the hot tourist attractions to visit……….it’s, a holiday, that “gathered” us all up.

But thinking back, that was, more like a, sort of, formality.  And, the protocol of that was, watching T.V., sliding on our cell phones, or, saying the words that don’t show any, real care or concerns.

illustration that came with this article, courtesy of UDN.com

圖/蛋妹

My ideal New Year’s, is to, REDUCE this sort of a vacant interaction, but with more conversation, communication.  Turn off the T.V., put up those cell phones, on the day like New Year’s, get out of the house, to sort through what’s on our minds.  Go to a place where you see your stars, lifting up your heads, sharing your thoughts with one another.  Everybody sit in a circle with leisure, and take turns, telling about what one gained in this past year, what touched us in the last year, to get rid of those formalities of how we are, supposed to, show our cares and concerns, and truly, listen to what one another is, sharing.  Becoming an audience, also, a part of the group that shared everything.

And so, this, is something that’s, needed, in this day and age, because, we don’t talk with each other in depth regularly, that’s why, we’d become, so, disconnected through the entire year, and, the New Year’s is a good time, to restart that connection, to share with one another, what we’d, endured through during the past year, to find closure to the year before, so we can, start off on another year, on a, clean, slate!

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Filed under Because of Love, Connections, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

Gnocchi

The translation of the comic strips: “What would happen when you get into fight with noodle?

“Fried noodles”?  Nope.  “Fried Noodles”?  Nope.  Noodle in hot water?  Nope.

“It would become…………gnocchi!”

P.S. the Chinese word for gnocchi means getting under each other’s skins.

the comic strip off of UDN.com

Puppy, Rui-Ji, Happy, Chestnut, they’re all, my best friends from the extracurricular back in my high school years, and now, it’d been, over a decade, we are all, split up, some of us, nine-to-fivers, some, taking over family businesses, some head off abroad, but, the group of four, stayed, connected.

No matter what they bump into at work, how stressed out they may be, of their day-to-day, they all need to, rant on in their group, the brothers getting into spats, going out together for drinks, for foods, then, all their worries are, all, away then.

The phrase, “happy to see you” applies perfectly to the four, so, Puppy always stated, that he was going to, use the unfunny jokes that only they understood, to write a song.  They’d not played in a long, long time, don’t know if, they will, reignite that youthful flame, with the cold jokes?

And so, this, is how close the friends you made in your schooling years are to you, you are each other’s emotional support, you guys meet out from time to time, to tell each other the BULLSHITS that happened to you in your separate lives, which works exactly like therapy, and you only needed to, pay for your drinks, and these “therapy sessions” don’t occur in a squarish office, with the lay-down couch and the chair by it!

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Filed under Connections, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life

To Help Better the Interactions of Parents & Children, the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Foundation Workstation Opened its Workshops

The foundation’s attempts to shift the focus back to parents interacting with their own young, and hope this works…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The joys of becoming parents from the start, may be gone, in the pressures of providing for our own children, the very first friendly space set up by the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Org “the Taipei Green Corner Wenshan Parent-Children Workshop” had its grand opening yesterday, differing from the normal services provided in the childcare realms, it’d hoped that through the constant companionships of professionals, it can help the parents and children find a positive way to interact with each other, and strengthens the values of parental education, which hopefully, can reduce the chance of child abuse, and be used as the first line of defense against child abuse.

a play place like this one, where the parents can interact with their own young…photo found online

The Taiwanese Fund for Children & Families pointed out, that every child deserves to be treated well, that the Green Corner Wenshan Close Corner Workshop in Taipei is the very FIRST space that the foundation’s set up that’s parent and children friendly, acting as a companion to all parents.  Using the community as a fall back, of prevention, to help the parents accompany their young to grow up, to show that every child is unique, a different and separate entity from the parents.

The foundation gave the example, the mother, Feng, was once very depressed dealing with her own children’s behaviors, the parent and child conflicted a lot, and through the intervention from the workshop, the mother restructured the way she’d interacted with her own young, and learned to be a more balanced mom, viewed the child’s uniqueness as positive, and the parent-child relationship slowly improved.  Another full-time mother, Jia-Jia has two children, and in the process of caring for her young children, she’d felt alone, and fell into self-doubt, in the social workers of the Wenshan Close Corner, she’d found the meanings to raising her own young, and found the values in herself too.

And so, this is, a necessary service, and thankfully, this not-for-profit organization found a way, to provide it for the parents who feel they’re, all alone on their own, raising their children up, and, parenting skills is a LEARNED behavior, and it’s usually, through experiences, that we will finally, acquire, the right methods to deal with our own young, and this not-for-profit center helps the adults BE better parents to their own young, which is WHAT we’re in need of current day.

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Filed under Connections, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Warmth that Flowed Through This Alley of Ours

Having good neighbors, makes the days pass, so much, easier!  Translated…

As I stood, with the early morning light, in my own yard, watching my Romain lettuce, my neighbor brought over a bundle of bananas, I’d returned her kindness with the Romain lettuce out of my own vegetable gardens, a short while later, she’d, delivered the avocado banana nut milkshake she’d made, and the freshly baked egg yolk pastries, the interactions of us neighbors, so amicable, it’d, warmed my heart.

Thirty years ago when I first moved here, it was right when my daughter was born, and, the boxes of cakes to celebrate her birth helped connected the families, we’d started, sharing the joys of our lives with one another then, we all had our separate ways of life, what we enjoyed doing, some of us are cooks, bakers, and green thumbs too, this is, the sense of connection with the neighbors that the city dwellers couldn’t understand.

the flowing kindness in the neighborhood…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

And other than sharing the goodies in this alley, the cares and concerns we neighbors have for one another, is also, quite, heartwarming too.  My neighbor in her eighties injured her hand and couldn’t manage to cook, the elderly woman who lived next door to her made some vegetable pork porridge to share with her, and, at dawn and dusk every single day, the neighbors from the left or the right would, walk with her, to help her stay connected with the rest of the neighborhood’s, goings on, she’d often stated, “my kids are so busy at work, thankful I have all of you, great neighbors, otherwise, I would totally need to get checked into the nursing homes, and looked after by a hired caretaker then.”  As my husband was trimming the star fruit trees, he’d fell from the ladders, our neighbor immediately gave us a lift to the E.R., and consoled with me, “he doesn’t look that seriously injured, it’s going to be okay!”, and, when something’s going on, it’s, everybody’s, business, we’d cared for one another, like how in the earthquakes back about a decade ago, when there’s the water and power outages, we’d, huddled together, to pass through that time, our neighbor hauled out that huge stove, and, cooked the soup noodles, to share, we are, more like a big family, than with our own, separate, families.

Remembering back twenty years ago, every Saturday night was the weekly neighbor supper get-together, every house brings three dishes, watching the kids in play, and we’d, made a pact, to grow old with each other together; and, in a blink of an eye, thirty whole years come and gone, and even though we can’t eat together every day, but we’re, sharing our interactions of our old age together, this, is our live-ing now!

And so, this, is a good “program” that this group of neighbor had, set up, they all cared for each other like families, and, so, there’s a ton of social, emotional support for everybody in the neighborhood to everybody, and this, is a good way, to grow old together, even if they’re, not related to one another, strangers!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life