The mercies of the springtime, that we often don’t take the time to, notice, because we take the changes of the seasons as something natural…translated…
For Ages, Some Hidden in the Mountains
To Get Away from the World, Playing Their Flutes in the Forests
Finding that Broken Dream of Pinnk, Trekking the World
photo from UDN.com
Alone
That Spring Breeze, Eventually Couldn’t Help But Feel Bad for the Snow
And Started, Falling Down in, Colors
This is the mercies that natures showed to the lonely, and, putting the colors back into the world, as springtime finally came, after a long and hard season of, winter…
Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, you only need to, give it its daily feeds, water source, and a, litter, box, and it takes care of itself.
It doesn’t bother you, doesn’t play with you, doesn’t demand any attention from you. Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, independent, relying on no one but itself to keep itself, entertained…
like this, locked, inside, that, jar…photo from online
Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, but, it’s still, NOT, feral, for it knows, when it needed you, and will, come and ask you for something that it needed. Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, it will, go off on its own, gone for days on end, but you can, always, count on, that it will, eventually, return “home” again.
Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, and, you’d kept my loneliness, like that adopted cat, but you still, don’t, OWN it, it OWNS, its own, self!
Loneliness, kept, like a, cat, it will, wander off, and it will, always be, there, but out of sight, existing, in its own, quietness and, silence…………
The silhouette of, lonely, it looked like a, man, or rather, someone (or something!) that’s, no longer, whole, like the puzzles with the pieces gone missing…
The silhouette of, lonely, it doesn’t look good, does it? Nope, but, what can you do? Once loneliness, settled in your lives? There’s no way you gave, hand it that, eviction notice, you think it’s just gonna, go that easily, without a fight? Think, again!
The silhouette of, lonely, like that beautiful woman, untouchable, so high and mighty, with so many suitors down below, looking up at how beautiful she is, and yet, she’s, not interested (no, she’s still, NOT a “lesbian” either!), she has set her mind’s eyes on something else, way, way, W-A-Y more important, than the, earthly…
with nobody else, but the, self…photo from online
The silhouette of, lonely, that, is what you will have, every single night, when you go to bed at night, and, I’m still not going to, tuck you in, give you that kiss, good night, like I had, with my two!
The silhouette of, lonely, you better get used to it, ‘cuz lonely is all you’re ever gonna get, in your, company, there’s no way out for ya, lonely’s got you, cornered there…………
As we age by the day, this is something we all have to face on our own, eventually! Translated…
Rode the MRT to the HSR to pick a friend up, bumped into my neighbor, Yun, I thought she was traveling out, she’d shaken her head, and told me, since her husband had passed on, she couldn’t face the empty house anymore, “loneliness sent me straight into panic mode”, and so, she’d come to the high-speed railroad station, sat at the corner, to read the papers she’d brought with her, to be in the company of the crowds that were coming and going, and, after she had the railroad station lunch box, she’d headed home.
As I’d heard how she’d passed the time, it’d made me feel sad. Yun didn’t have children, didn’t go out to socialize, she’d built up that high wall, isolated herself; I’d often called her up to ask how she was doing, invited her to exercise with me at the parks, to increase her human contact.
what we will all be, faced with, one day! Photo from online
Those who live alone in my community, mostly were the unmarried, the widows/widowers, or those who’d not lived with their young. And, the rate of those who live on their own is getting higher, becoming the trends, and the, norm. And, there are more and more who’d come to understand, that even if two people were married, one day, one will leave before the other, and, everybody has to practice living on one’s own, to finish the bottom halves of their, lives, alone.
Recalled how there was a study from before, that the elderly if they’re healthy enough, can take care of their own daily living needs, living alone gives them that sense of independence, made them happy; but the prerequisite to this is you need to be able to face up to the multiple challenges that come your way on your own, you need to be prepared in the finances, health, as well as your social connections beforehand, then, you will meet that goal of “living independently on your own”.
And so, this still showed, how maintaining social contact in the elderly years is one of the keys to stay healthy, and yet, as people become reliant on each other, because they’re married, shared a life too long, then suddenly, it’s just, one of you that’s, left, and it take a long, long time, to adapt to that, and sometimes, you don’t completely, adapt yourselves to your lives, alone!
These four walls, the solitary of your, confinement, you can’t, EVER, break out of that, you’re now, trapped for L-I-F-E! You will long to, reach out, but, nobody’s “out there”, as you’d, “off-the-grid” living in an, undisclosed, location (kinda like the “address” of my ivory tower???).
The solitary of your, confinement, you got nobody ELSE to blame for that but you. As you’d been the one, keeping everybody who tried to reach out to you, out, and eventually, every one of us out there, stopped trying to reach you, ‘cuz??? Lights are on, phone’s ringin’ off the HOOK, but, nobody’s, H-O-M-E!
and this, is how you’ll, live!
photo from online…
The solitary of your, confinement, with fate as the, warden, and, you ain’t NEVER gonna be released on “good behavior”, ‘cuz you ain’t NO good, and, besides, where you gonna go, if you do eventually, get released? Got NOBODY to love you, to care for you, so you might as well, just rot, in that hell of your own, loneliness then!
The solitary of your, confinement, that’s all your own, making, and I can’t help you, as, “the number you have reached, hadn’t been in service since LAST century!”, and you will keep on, reaching out, and guess what, “honey” (still sarcastic here!), I’m no longer “available”, ‘cuz I’d been, DEAD, since………when was that again??? Oh yeah, ’08!
The portrait painted with the poet’s, words, translated…
Between heaven and earth, there’s no world you can, squeeze, into.
The distances between raindrops, however, is, more, tolerant, the years squeezed through the spaces, how easily, it’s only, false fat.
the painting by the writer, courtesy of UDN.com
The shadows of the birds in flight, rested atop the surfaces of the waters, thoughtless. The light blues, the navy blues, deep blues, midnight blues………..no ripples in the heart, but quite, deep, the real depth can’t be expressed in written forms. The coldness bit, like the sharpened teeth of, the silence and solitude.
The rain and wind came in late autumn, like the older folks we knew, never, stopped chatting when they’d called us up.
And so, this is personification of nature, there’s, that scent, of being solitary, but not the loneliness which, hurt.
Hiked that trail paved with lonely, we both had, or rather, I had already, finished “trekking”, while you’re still on it!
Hiked that trail paved with lonely, we learned to make lonely our constant companions, and because this is a one-way street, from start to finish, ain’t NO turnin’ back where we’d come, there’s no way we can, track backwards…
like this song by Celine Dion & Il Divo, off of YouTube…
Hiked that trail paved with lonely, I had, and, I heard the wind howl so loud, and didn’t bring a warm enough coat, because it, sunny, too bright away from this trail I didn’t anticipate that I’d gone to hike up. And so, as I’d walked farther into, the woods of lonely, I’d felt, colder, and, eventually, had to, stop to make a fire.
Hiked that trail, paved with lonely, and now, you will be on that “journey” to discover what loneliness is truly about, and you still won’t come to the same conclusions as I had about lonely either, oh no, lonely hurt you through your childhood, while it’d, accompanied me, became my best companions in childhood.
Hiked that trail, paved with lonely, we are all lonely, no matter if we got tons of friends, loved ones, families who love us like crazy, we are still, all alone, solitary, individuals………
Companionship at old age, someone who can, take care of me, as I age, someone with whom, I can, connect with intimate (not SEX!!!), someone with whom I can, share my innermost feelings with, someone who will, accept me for who I am…………
Companionship at old age? Yeah, be your own companion, because if you can’t even, get alone with yourselves from before, and if you’d, failed to set up that tight-knit connection to your own loved ones, what the #$%@ (maxed!) makes you think, that your next-of-kin will, want to, stay close to you? After all, it is, too important, that we surround ourselves with those whom we are, related to by blood (our offspring, next-of-kin, relatives, spouse, etc., etc., etc.), right?
how nobody wants to end up with…
living alone, in the, darkness…photo from online
Companionship at old age, very important, because, the lack of socialization, can make your brains deteriorate more quickly, than the original speed that your brains, deteriorate at. Companionship at old age, not just anybody at random, but those that you cared for, raised when they were children, and, because you’d taken care of them, put clothes on their backs, foods into their stomachs, provided for their school tuitions, there’s, NO reason why they wouldn’t want to be near you, when you’re, old and gray, right???
WRONG! Despite how much you think you’d, given to your children, if you can’t make them feel the love you have for them, who’s to say, that they won’t turn out as ingrate like I became one, huh???
And yes, this is still, from the life and times, of a total INGRATE: ME!!!
I’m, lonelier than alone, wrapped myself, in your, loneliness here.
Lonelier than alone, this, was how you’d, left me, and, I HATED it, being so, disconnected, so separated, from the rest of what’s, formerly, known to me, and now, reconnecting won’t be, so easy, been, too out of touch.
Lonelier than alone, you’d, kept me, wrapped me in your, misery, as, misery LOVED, company! Lonelier than alone, this is, what you’d, given to me, since we wed, I thought I found someone to share my heart with, someone who’s, willing to, give ME his heart too, turned out, he was only looking to TAKE, and NOT give!
like, this??? Photo from online
Lonelier than alone, I don’t want to be, but, I’d been kept, by this man who said he loved me, inside, this, gilded cage, the confines, of these, four-walled, high-end, white-picket fence prison. Lonelier than alone, I want to, break free from this, but, I got kids, and I can’t, leave them, NOT when they’re, so little, and still need their mommy to care for, to love them…
Lonelier than alone, I will, always be, with you around, and I still, would choose to be, lonely by myself, but what I got was, lonely with Y-O-U!!!
like, this??? Photo from online
Mirroring the World 
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