Category Archives: Downward Spiral

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

The Dangerous Thing About Trust…

It’s either make, or BREAK, and, when you BREAK, you REALLY, REALLY, R-E-A-L-L-Y DO B-R-E-A-K!

The dangerous thing about trust, is that if you’d placed your trust into the wrong people, then, you’d be, totally SCREWED, and, there’s ALSO that GOD DAMN problem of T-R-A-N-S-F-E-R-E-N-C-E (hello, hello, hello, Uncle Siggy, anyone???).

Trust is a dangerous thing, especially in this world, filled with a TON of SHIT, how do you know, WHO you can trust?  I mean, lookin’ ‘round here, you’ll see, ALL those GOD damn BUSINESSES that put people’s lives in danger, because they’d wanted to save up on the dollar, and, you ALSO have people, who are still ABUSING one another’s trust, everywhere.

The dangerous thing about trust, you can’t just, TRUST anybody, especially strangers, because you don’t KNOW what their intentions are, and, more often than not, their intentions are NEVER good!

So, what, do we do?  Do we, become skeptics, in the realms of trust?  Do we, still keep that faith, that people are naturally good, and, how, can we, make sure, that the environment won’t get to us, with ALL those bad news that are still currently, playing, playing, playing, AND replaying out there?

 

 

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Filed under Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Expectations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

“Lost the Last Bet in Life”, a Last Year High School Placed Over Ten Thousand Dollars of Debts, Gambling on the Teams of the N.B.A., He’d Committed Suicide

Had he known better, but he didn’t!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A high school student, He from the city of Taichung disclosed to his classmate on the 10th that because he’d signed the gambling slips for NBA, he’d managed to owe over thirty thousand dollars’ worth of debts, that his life was over, “I’m going now!  Lost my final bet in life.”, the classmate immediately went to the police to report, and the police managed to find out where He was, but, it was too late, he’d already, committed suicide by burning charcoal in his bedroom already.

The 64th Police Precinct in Taichung on the afternoon of the tenth received a panicky high schooler who rushed in, and he’d shown the police the conversations he’d shared with He using LINE, told them that he worried, that He might commit suicide.  The police found his address, along with the records of members of his family, they’d notified the father, and, He’s father recalled how he hadn’t seen his son come out of his room, that it was odd, he’d broken into his son’s room, found that he was already dead, and there was also, a bowl of charcoal, burned, completely.  The coroners believed, that He had committed suicide by burning charcoal, and they will look into, whether or not He was forced to pay the debts he owed from signing the gambling slips or not.

And so, that, just shows, how easily they will fall, and, when you’re that young, you should NOT even BE into gambling, but this young man was, and, because he couldn’t pay up the debts, he felt his life was OVER, and committed suicide!

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Filed under Burying One's Own Child, Carelessness of Adults, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Fate, Getting Exposed Too Young, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Lessons, Loss, Messed Up Values, News Stories, Observations, Perspectives, Problems of the Teenage Years, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization, Suicides, Tragedies in the World, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

After a Swiss Man Gunned Down His In-Laws, His Wife’s Younger Brother-in-Law, the Neighbor, He’d Committed Suicide

This, is TRULY SHOCKING, in ONE of the world’s HAPPIEST nations too!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Happiest Country in the World Has Over a MILLION Guns

A thirty-six year-old Swiss man on the ninth, gunned down his parents-in-law, his wife’s brother-in-law, and a neighbor, then, committed suicide.  The police quickly ruled this incident out as a terrorist attack, but a domestic tragedy.  Just last month, Switzerland was voted as the “World’s Happiest Nation”, and, this murder-suicide had shocked the entire nation, and, some attributed the events to how guns are in excess.

The murder happened in the city of Verenigingen, close to Zurich, the suspect was a father of three, but he didn’t live with his family, the police said, that he didn’t have a license for a gun.  The suspect first, broke into a resident, gunned down his fifty-eight year-old father-in-law, fifty-seven year-old mother-in-law, and his thirty-two year-old brother-in-law, then, broke into another resident, gunned down a forty-six year-old neighbor, then, committed suicide.

The suspect had a prior in violence, lived alone in the state over.  He was under investigation, after a 2007 confrontation when he’d caused someone to get injured, and in 2012, he was arrested for using verbal threats on someone.  Before the murders on the 9th, the wife and children of the suspect had moved out, and entered into a shelter already.

Last November, a similar incident happened in Switzerland too.  And this time, this massacre had caused a huge ripple in the originally peaceful Switzerland, the local papers wrote: “Impossible, after all, we are the world’s happiest, richest country.”

Based off of estimation, there are a total of 4.5 million guns floating arou9nd in Switzerland, and the number of guns owned in Switzerland is among the tops of the world, second only to the U.S., Yemen, and Serbia.

And so, you have to wonder, even IF this was only an ISOLATED incident, why, is it, that the world’s happiest nation would own the greatest number of guns?  And, this, may only BE a dispute in the family that went wrong, but, it still raised concerns for the world.

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Filed under Awareness, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Domestic Violence, Downward Spiral, Gun Control, Issues of the Society, Murder, News Stories, Observations, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

A Mother, with a DEAD Fetus

This, is what I am………oh, wait a sec, I’m still a VIRGIN, meaning that I’d never done THAT!

A mother, with a dead fetus, how’d that happen?  Did someone CUT it (the sex is still unknown???) out, when she’s still pregnant, like in an abortion?  Or, did she actively, KILL “it”, because she’s NOT yet ready, to take on the responsibilities of being a mom?

A mother, with a DEAD fetus, how could she have gotten that abortion, on her own child?  Didn’t she see, ALL the things she would’ve gotten to do, with this supposed, but now, DEAD and NONEXISTENT “child” of hers?  Was she NOT excited, like all those first time mothers, mothers-to-be, expectant, of her first born?

A mother, with a DEAD fetus, it (the fetus) was, CUT out of her, as it was, agreed, by the family of the guy who KNOCKED her up, because he was, already married, and from a well-known family, that just couldn’t weather through ONE more scandal, and so, this woman’s ILLEGITIMATE baby boy or girl (as the sex is still, undetermined???), got CUT out of her, and, the mother had only  but a minute’s time, to say goodbye, to that DEAD, not-yet-formed completely FETUS of hers…………

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Filed under Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Issues on Gender, Letting Go, Loss, Messed Up Values, Moral Responsibilities, Observations, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Social Issues, Tragedies in the World, White Picket Fence, Women's Issues

Infidelities, Most Likely to Happen, Three Years After the Marriage

From research statistics, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Shu-De Technical University Human Sexuality Department manager, Yen-Ching Lin said, that modern day women are financially independent, have a strong sense of themselves, and, once the quality of their marriage drops, they have a higher chance of having affairs; the Graduate Research Department in its 2010 survey of 400 married women in southern Taiwan, the rate of infidelity was 36.5 percent.  Lin believed, that the statistics for the married women in the central and northern parts would be roughly the same as well.

This study showed, that the partners of the affairs who were friends made up about 44.3 percent, the highest, followed by coworkers, friends from online, exes, and, the time when the affairs are most likely to start would be three years after the marriage.

And on top of that, the results of a survey by the Sexology Research Department before Valentine’s Day showed, that the rate of modern day female college students who had already had sex makes up about 43.5 percent, compared to the 27.3 percent from seventeen years ago, there is a clear increase, the primary reason for this being how open the societies had become.  Lin said, that from the researches conducted abroad, the women who had had sex prior to marriage are more than likely to have extramarital affairs after they are married, and, modern day women are expecting higher quality from their marriages, compared to the last generations, and so, they are bound, by the cultures, to stay in a marriage, so, they’re more than likely to find an exit for their own emotions.

On the males’ front, although the sexology department didn’t conduct such researches, however, on a survey over the subjects of one-night-stands, twenty-five percent of surveyed males are accepting to the idea, thirty-three percent of the subjects HAD experiences with one night stands, and men who wanted to try out one night stands, make up sixty percent.

Lin suggested that couples need to work hard, in making their relationships work, just spend more time with one another, showing cares and concerns for each other often, it shouldn’t be that difficult, to keep happy in the marriage.

So, there you have it, from the lips of the researcher, and, this still just shows, how as we advanced in every single way, our behaviors are falling backwards, and, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you would do it, where’s the moral restraints???

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The Six-Year-Old Daughter Gave Her Mother Away, the DNA Showed, that She Wasn’t His Child at All

Words, out of mouths of babes, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The young daughter of a man, Wu, often spoke of how she has another daddy, last year, Wu took his daughter to get her DNA checked out, and, the child was unrelated to him by blood; he’d recalled how eight to ten months before his daughter was born, his wife who was originally frigid and not sexually turned on at all had asked him to have sex with her multiple times, , it was, to cover up the fact, that she was already pregnant, he’d filed for a law suit.  His ex-wife, who had already agreed to divorce him claimed, that when she was on a business trip, she was knocked out, then raped, and that, was how she got knocked up.  The judge didn’t believe her, mandated that she must pay her ex-husband one million dollars N.T., the case can still be appealed.

Wu’s complaints pointed out, that a decade ago, he’d married, and right after his wife and he were wed, his wife would take several business trips to China, they slowly fell out of love, rarely consummated; a little over seven years ago, his wife gave birth to a daughter, as the child grows up, a lot of his friends and families pointed out, that the child does not look like him at all, and he’d even heard his daughter told that she “has another dad”.

When the child was six, she’d gone on a trip with his wife, after the child came home, she’d told her grandmother, that she had gone to her other dad’s house, that mom took showers, slept, and cooked there, everybody went to McDonald’s, the park, then, to the shopping strip, and that the other “dad” also bought her toys.

Back then, he was starting to get suspicious, at the start of last year, he’d taken his daughter to the hospital for a paternity test, and, the results proved, that she wasn’t his at all, he felt taken, for taking care of someone else’s child for so many years, as he’d grilled his wife, she’d denied having had an affair, he got furious, and filed for a divorce with the courts, and, after the case went to family court, the divorce was granted.

Wu pointed out, that ten to eight months before his daughter was born, his ex-wife had found him to have sex several times, clearly, it was, to cover up her own infidelity; as the case went up to the Taipei District Courts, the ex-wife denied having had an affair, claimed, that because she’d gone on business trips to China a lot back then, she’d needed to drink with the business associates, that she may have been date raped, that, was how she’d gotten pregnant.

The judge believed, that if someone was drugged or raped, the person would be likely to notify the police, or tell it to someone she trusted, a friend, or members of one’s own family, Wu’s ex-wife couldn’t provide witnesses or any evidences, and so, the judge did not take her words for it, believed, that her daughter was conceived from her affair.

And so, that still just shows, that infidelities are NOT a specialty of men, that women can cheat too.

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Filed under Abuse, Bad Behaviors, Commiting Adultery, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Early Exposures, Getting Exposed Too Young, In the Workplace, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, News Stories, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Social Awareness, Social Issues