Category Archives: Peer Pressures & Influences

After the Death of a High School Student, the Police Were on the Look Out for the Bookies and Found Three High Schools and Twenty-Seven of Their Students Involved

Started too young, in the life of crimes, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The second-year high school student, Kao works as a bookie for a gambling website, because he’d owed $280,000N.T. in gambling debts he couldn’t pay up, on Mother’s Day, he’d attempted suicide by burning charcoal in his home.  The police followed the leads, and two nights ago, managed to arrest the bookies He works under, Tsai and Lee, and Yeou, who’s above the bookies.  After Tsai and Lee were interrogated, they were taken into police custody, and Chuang was charged with gambling right away.

The police sorted through He’s cell phone, and found there to be twenty-four other students from his school who were also involved, and, interrogated them all yesterday, and so far, three schools and twenty-seven students have been found to have involvements in the case, and from this, we can see how serious the problem of on campus gambling is.

The police stated, because the online gambling sites are set up abroad, and, the workers took cash bets, it’s really hard, to find the person behind it all, and, Chuang was merely a “small fish” in the gambling websites.

Tsai and Lee are both minors, and, although they’re involved in the gambling charges, they weren’t caught in the act, and so, they were sent home after being interrogated, alongside twenty-four others, and, they’re to make their appearances in juvenile court at another date.

The investigative officers pointed out, that two weeks ago, Lai, another student from He’s high school, because of how much pressure there was for him as a junior bookie (Retailers), after He learned, he’d taken up the post, but, for the next two weeks, because the students who’d signed the bets couldn’t pay him, and he’d owed the debts himself, he and his peers owed a total of $160,000N.T.  And because the debts are collected on Mondays, in order to find a way out, to turn his situations around, on the evening of May 9th, before Mother’s Day, he’d bet in the “Dice Games”, but, in just one night, he’d lost $120,000N.T.s, the very next day, he’d left the message, “Lost my final bet in life”, committed suicide by burning charcoal.

The student, Tsai was once the upstream for Lai, in February, he was caught by the police, and, he’d handed his job to another student from another school, Lee, later on, He connected with Lee, Tsai and Lee admitted to working as the general agents, and reported to Chuang directly; Chuang sold drinks at the night markets regularly, and, in order to increase his earnings, he’d gotten the agent rights from a gambling ring online, from a man nicknamed “Chang”, absorbed Tsai, Lee as his downstream, on the ninth, he’d heard Lee told, that “He is suicidal”, but he didn’t know He personally.

The police officers said, the student He accepted the bets from his fellow students, and got 1.5 percent of the fees, and, the bets ranged anywhere from $100 N.T. to $10,000N.T., the gambling rings used the temptation of making huge amounts of money to attract the students, and, at the start, they’d given them the sweet rewards, but, they’d found an assortment of reasons, to withhold their commissions.

The police suspected, that He had lost the bets, and, wanted to gamble one last time, to see if he could make what he’d lost back again, and maybe, he was affected by the Japanese comic of “Revelation of Gambling”, the main character from the comic was a habitual gambler, with high debts, in the end, he’d taken his friend’s advice, went onboard a gambling ship called, “Hope”, placed his final bets, ended up, winning everything, but the money was scammed away by his friends, He might have copied the behaviors in the stories, but, he’d ended up, committing suicide.

So, this, is the cause of the death of a high school kid, because he was tempted, and, once he was drawn in, he’d found himself, sinking deeper, deeper, and deeper, and in the end, he couldn’t get out, so, he took the easy way out.


Filed under Cause & Effect, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Current Events, Despair, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lives Lost, Observations, Peer Pressures & Influences, Problems of the Teenage Years, Social Issues, The Teenage Years, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Fraternity Crackdown: Universities are Clamping Down Hard, But Do the Bans Work?

I really want to say, that this, is on organized activities (or rather, CRIMES!!!), but, I’m afraid of gettin’ SHOT at, so, from, by: J. Schuppe…

In February 2002, a 21-year-old junior at Alfred University in upstate New York was found dead in a creek after taking a beating from his fraternity brothers at Zeta Beta Tau.

Although authorities couldn’t prove the blows caused the young man’s death, the circumstances prompted school officials to conclude, after years of trying to reform Greek culture on campus, that frats weren’t worth saving. “The Greek system is beyond repair,” the chairman of the school’s board said at the time.

The decision to ban fraternities came during a period of heightened scrutiny on university campuses across the country, in which a number of colleges eliminated school-sanctioned Greek life in response to allegations of binge drinking, hazing and sex assault. Alfred was on the vanguard of a movement that has been gaining momentum ever since, leading to a new wave of crackdowns that have grabbed the nation’s attention, driven by growing sensitivity to campus violence and discrimination, pressure from authorities on sexual assault, liability issues and the power of social media.

The latest example occurred last weekend at Oklahoma University, where officials shut down the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity after members were caught on video chanting a racial slur. The school joins John Hopkins University, MIT, Duke and Texas Tech among many universities that took action in recent months against individual fraternities in response to allegations of rape or hazing.

“I truly believe that prevention of hazing and other problematic behavior is possible … But it takes a concentrated effort, a strategic plan, resources and institutional will for that to occur.”

But even those were minor disciplinary matters in comparison to what happened last year at University of Virginia, University of West Virginia, Clemson University, Emory University and Amherst College — all of which curtailed or completely suspended Greek activities. And those moves followed attempts by Wesleyan University, Trinity College and several other small schools in the Northeast to force fraternities to accept women in an effort to water down testosterone-fueled problems.

“If students are showing dangerous behavior or taking different types of risks, it’s up to us to step in to try to grab their attention and say, ‘This is unacceptable,'” said Corey Farris, dean of students at West Virginia University, which lifted its suspension in January after working with the fraternities to improve their codes of conduct. “I also think there’s a cultural shift where society and parents are less tolerant of it. And people are more willing to step up and speak out.”

A 2007 study found that fraternity members are three times more likely to commit rape than non-members. A 2009 study by NASPA, a national association representing student affairs administrators, found that 86 percent of fraternity house residents binge-drank, as opposed to 45 percent of non-fraternity men. A recent analysis by Bloomberg News revealed more than 60 deaths related to fraternity activities since 2005, and many more injuries and sex assaults.

Last spring, the Obama Administration released the names of 55 colleges and universities that were under investigation by the U.S. Department of Education for their handling of sexual abuse complaints, a way to pressure schools to implement reforms.

The fraternities, whose membership continues to grow — there are now an estimated 350,000 campus members nationwide — have also spoken out. Its lobbying group, the North-American Intrafraternity Conference, has challenged efforts to end Greek life on many campuses. In many instances, the group has helped roll back proposed bans. Among its arguments is that bans inhibit freedoms of expression and association. Another is that bans do nothing to encourage cooperative efforts to improve campus life.

“NIC is against the unilateral suspension of fraternal organizations because it’s not the right way to address the issues the community is facing,” Pete Smithhisler, the group’s president, said. “Suspensions of groups is just putting band-aids on the situation.”

The small liberal arts schools that were among the earliest to ban fraternities from their campuses — Williams College, Alfred University, Bowdoin College, Middlebury College, Colby College, Santa Clara College — express little regret about their decisions. In some cases, underground off-campus fraternities sprouted up, but many of them say that they see less misconduct and more tolerant and inclusive attitudes.

Norm Pollard, dean of students at Alfred University, said the school recognized a lot of the positive guidance fraternities provided young men. But it found that co-education clubs, activities, leadership development opportunities and social outlets more than made up for the loss of Greek life.

Pollard acknowledged that it was difficult to measure whether the 2002 ban had a direct effect on students’ behavior. But he sees many positive signs. The local police say they don’t respond to as many raging parties. And there’s been a decrease in substance abuse violations.

“I truly believe that prevention of hazing and other problematic behavior is possible,” Pollard said. “But it takes a concentrated effort, a strategic plan, resources and institutional will for that to occur.”

All of these stats about fraternities exists, due to how there’s still, that need for acceptance by those newly initiated members, because it would be their FIRST year in school, and, they desperately needed a place to belong to, someone who watches out for them, and, that, is why fraternities and sororities appealed very much to those freshmen, and, if you think about it, it’s actually gang like, because what OTHER organizations have “initiations”, gangs, that, is all I can think of, and, fraternity is correlated to the organized CRIMES, after all, in order, to be accepted as a “brother” or a “sister”, a person would be willing to do, JUST about ANY and EVERYTHING, to get in, to become, a part of the group, because, NOBODY wanted to become an OUTCAST, someone who’s AT the bottom of the FOOD CHAINS…

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That Day, with My Back Turned, on the Bus


I am without a motorcycle, so, no matter where I go, to class, or work, to shop, shopping for groceries, I’d taken the free bus that runs eight kilometers locally.  But, one day, everything that was familiar, became, kinda odd………

First, it was the driver’s look switched between shocked, pity, and showing concern, it’d flattered me so.  And, there’s the normally rowdy bus that’s gone silent all of a sudden.  For this time frame, and this bus, it’s, quite weird.  In the end, being young as I am, able-bodied too, was given a seat, by a student.

What the heck just happened?  I can’t understand it, until I saw my own reflections on the windows—with a backpack on my left, with a home computer on my right, with a suitcase in hand, plus, a huge bag of quilt………it’d made me, who had to move all my things out, looked like I’d just gotten KICKED out of my place of residence.

Maybe, in those passersby’s mind, my backside was like Tzi-Ching Chu’s “The Backside”, causing people to tear up.

Funny, how when you’d become aware of your surrounding environments that everything just made a difference, isn’t it???  like for this person, who was probably just moving her/his stuff from the dormitories, as the semester ended, looked like someone who’d become homeless in other people’s points of views, that, just shows, that interactions are still happening in the world, without verbal exchanges………

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Best Friends


Internationally, detective novels had long become the mainstreams of popular literature.  In Taiwan, recently, although, there had been a ton of foreign writer’s tales, it’d become a part of life we can’t get rid of, but, when it’d come to writing these stories, and, it’d gotten my uneasiness, just wanted to find my way back to my studies, and just, write on my own.

With the developments of detective novels up to date, there are many forms of writing that it took.  There are stories that focused on how the crime are being solved, some stressed the judgments of the greater society.  I was, however, affected greatly, by the “father of detective stories”, Edgar Allan Poe, other than detective stories, I’d also written scary stories with the factor of solving mysteries in them.  If it’s a novel of terror, then, naturally, it would not have any kind of sunny and happy tone to it.  And so, as I go up for a publishing talk, or new book coming-out forum, I’d always felt stressed.

I’m really glad, that my novels can actually scare people.  But, if I show my glee too straight forth, then, the readers would think, “this dude takes too much joy in making people uneasy, what a creep!”; and, I’d met readers who talked, with great enthusiasm, of how there are shocking moments in my novels that’s made their hair stand, and, my brain flashed the looks of concern, from Annie Wilkes, the nurse from the movie, Misery, and so, I’d made up an excuse, to get myself away.

There are a row of books “Encyclopedia of Murders”, “Criminal Activities”, and books of the like, and, although my wife knew, that they’re all, for the purpose of my writing research, she’d still hated how focused I was, as I was reading these books.  And now, I have a child, and, I must, hide those books.

But, all of my experiences paled by comparison to the experience of Ronald Knox.  He was born, in a family of god, his father was the Bishop of the Church of England.  After he’d graduated from Oxford, he’d become a preacher of the Church of England, later on, he’d decided to become Catholic, and had become a Catholic priest of the Oxford University.

In order to get rid of his stresses from changing religions, Knox started writing the detective novels, and, he’d gotten the acclaims from his readers.  He’d even published “The Ten Commandments of Mystery”, and disclosed the rules of writing detective novels, and had even set up the “Detectives Club” with other writers of the same genre.  But, his behaviors of straying from his rightful work, “seeing murders as entertainment”, had made the Catholic Church exert the pressures on him, but Knox didn’t take any effect toward their pushing him.

And still, as he’d published his sixth novel, his good friend, Madam Eckerton had, tossed the book into the oceans.  And her behaviors had made Knox given up on writing detective novels, and poured his heart and soul out onto translating the Holy Bible, in the end, he’d managed to complete The Knox Bible.

Maybe, I don’t have a good friend who’d thrown my book into the oceans, and told me to focus, work hard, on being an engineer, so, that, is why I’m still, currently, a detective novelist.

And so, this, is how friends CAN exert that influence on you, which is especially important, for you, to CHOOSE your friends, WISELY, because, like the case stated above with Knox, had his good friend, Madam WHATEVER not throw his stories into the oceans, he would’ve kept on writing his detective stories, and, who knows, he may have made great strides as a detective novelist too, but, he wasn’t, because that woman TOSSED his book into the oceans, and, I’m sure, that that, was the FINAL straw that broke that “camel’s back”, after all, in those times, writing stories about murder, along with ALL those darker things was a taboo, and, unfortunately, this British man did NOT have someone who’d shown support for his dreams, like the writer of this article…

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Filed under Expectations, Nonconformity, Peer Pressures & Influences, Perspectives, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Self-Images, Socialization

How to Handle Web’s Cruel Side, by: S. Rosenbloom

From The New York Times that came with today’s papers today…

Anyone who has ever been online has witnessed, or been, virtually hurt by, a mean comment.

“If you’re going to be a blogger, if you’re going to tweet stuff, you better develop a tough skin,” said John Suler, a professor of psychology at Rider University in New Jersey who specializes in what he refers to as cyberpsychology.

Some sixty-nine percent of adult social media users in the United States said they “have seen people being mean and cruel to others on social network sites,” according to a 2011 report from the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project.

Posts run the gamut from barbs to sadistic antics by trolls who intentionally strive to distress or provoke.  Whether you’re a celebrity author or a mom with a décor blog, you’re fair game. In the virtual world, anonymity and invisibility help us feel uninhibited.  Some people are inspired to behave with greater kindness; others unleash their dark side.  The singular goal of trolls is to elicit pain.  But those comments, while nasty, present an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

Social scientists say we tend to fixate on the negative.  Correcting that tendency requires understanding that you are ultimately in charge.  “Nobody makes you feel anything,” Professor Suler said.  The key is managing what psychologist refer to as involuntary attention.

Just as our attention naturally gravitates to loud noises, our minds fixate on negative feedback.  Studies like “Bad is Stronger than Good,” published in 2011 in the Review of General Psychology, have shown that we respond more strongly to bad experiences and criticism, and that we remember them more vividly.  “These are things that stick in our brain,” said James O. Pawelski of the University of Pennsylvania.  “If we allow our attention to move involuntarily, that’s where it goes.”

The mind, however, can be tamed.  One way is to ask yourself if those barbs you can’t seen to shrug off have an element of truth.  If the answer is yes, Professor Suler has some advice: let your critics be your gurus.

“You can treat them as an opportunity,” he said.  Ask yourself why you’re ruminating on a comment.  “Why does it bother you?”  Professor Suler said.  “What insecurities are being activated in you?”

Perhaps a negative comment can help you learn something about yourself.

“It’s easy to feel emotionally attacked from these things,” said Bob Pozen, a lecturer at the Harvard Business School.  He said that doesn’t mean that your critics don’t have a point.

But it’s not always possible to learn something from a nasty comment.  Some are baseless; some are crass.  One way to help is to consider the writer’s motivation.

Professor Suler wrote in 2004 in the Journal Cyber Psychology & Behavior about a concept known as “the online disinhibition effect”—the idea that “people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn’t ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world.”  The result can be benign (“unusual acts of kindness and generosity”) or it can be toxic: “rude language, harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats,” Professor Suler said.

The latter is the realm of trolls.  If people keep this concept in mind, he said, “they will see the psychology” of the aggressors, and their comments may be easier to take—and possibly ignore.

Harsh comments can also be made to feel less potent by disputing to yourself what was said.  If, for example, someone writes, “You’re an idiot and no one likes you,” you can marshal evidence against it by reminding yourself of the obvious: You have an education, a good job, many friends.

Also, be mindful when you choose to glance at your blog or social media feeds.  In other words: Stay off Twitter if you just bombed a presentation.

Another way to stop yourself from dwelling negative feedback is to enter into what psychologists refer to as “flow”, a state in which the mind is completely engaged.  Flow can be achieved when playing a piano concerto, practicing karate, being deep in conversation with a friend.  “The toughest time is when the mind is not fully occupied,” said Professor Pawleski, who also prescribed humor as a way to deflect barbs.

Even when a person is alone, humor can be very effective.  Try reading nasty comments aloud in a goofy voice, Professor Pawelski advised, so that when your mind automatically plays back the comment it sounds absurd.

And what if you shared a couple of the good ones with friends instead of sharing the ones that hurt you?  Research shows that it takes more time for positive experiences to become lodged in our long-term memory, so it’s not just pleasurable to dwell on a compliment—it’s shrewd.

“We’re really bad, typically, as a culture about accepting compliments,” Professor Pawelski said.  “They’re meant to be taken in and really appreciated.  They’re meant to be gifts.”

And, this would eventually BE maladaptive because?  Oh yeah, it trains your mind, to DODGE every single BAD experiences in your lives, and, IF you can FACE up to the negativities in your own lives, how can you expect yourselves to be well-adapted, plus, if someone leaves a negative “note” on your weblogs, or Facebook accounts or whatever, just ignore it, and, the article is written for those without a STRONG sense of the self, meaning that those who are affected by the outside world’s opinions of them are still WAY too external (Locus of Control, anyone???), so, take THAT, Professor!  No offense, but this, is how the Q-U-E-E-N (still H-E-R-E!!!) views thing, and yes, everybody IS still entitled to her/his O-P-I-N-I-O-N-S, as this article was written, as someone’s view on the matter, and, we ALL KNOW how we should handle the differences of opinions already, don’t we?  WE R-E-S-P-E-C-T each other even IF we don’t agree with one another!



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When the Child of a Spokesperson of Anti-Drug Was Caught, Using & Abusing Drugs

Whoa!!!  Wait a minute, do you mean, that the mommies and the daddies are spokesmen AGAINST drug use and abuse, while their kid is getting H-I-G-H???  How’s that even possible?  And, one can only conclude, that there’s something V-E-R-Y W-R-O-N-G, with the household education of this child’s family.

I mean, the parents ARE spokespeople AGAINST drug use and abuse, so, how come they couldn’t even STOP their own offspring from getting CAUGHT from getting H-I-G-H???

This, is time, for a PUBLIC apology, after all, the offspring IS legal (an adult), s/he just got caught, red-handed, with her/his head SHOVED, inside of THAT “cookie jar”.  When a spokesperson who preached about the importance of anti-drug, maybe, maybe, the person’s spending WAY too much, contributing to the REST of the world that s/he’d IGNORED her/his own offspring, and so, when something like this happens, the world turns its gaze onto the celeb parents!

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He Showed His Love for Her with a Diamond Ring, She Was Shocked, and Tried to Get Away, He and His Friend Forcibly Took Her to a Motel

Just because you have a crush, and she’d said NO, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

They’d only met once, he gave her flowers as a surprise, she was shocked, and tried to run away, but was dragged by the man, his two friends onto a car, the three men were all arrested.

A man, Lin had a crush on his friend, Wu’s female employee, Wang, asked her out for coffee, took out the flowers, and diamond, to proclaim his love to her, and it’d shocked Wang away, Lin was displeased with how she’d turned him down, and asked the two guys that were there with him, to forcefully take Wang to a motel, and, attempted to “get through to her” on his own, and, Lin’s way of pursuing love had caused him a law suit, and, he wasn’t able to have a Chinese Valentine’s Day to spend with the woman.

The D.A. believed, that Lin’s crazy way in pursuing after the woman he was into had already broken the law on obstructions of freedom, and they’d indicted Lin, his two friends.  Lin’s friends claimed, that they thought he was going to propose, they’d stuck to his back, as good friends would, was about to surprise Wang, and got themselves sued, they are NOT going play the matchmaker again.

Wang said, she and Lin had only met up once, on the day of the incident, she was called by her boss, to go out for coffee, she thought it was for business, and, she was shocked when Lin proclaimed his love for her, and, he’d forced her to accept it, there was only the “surprised” element, and NOT the ecstatic part.

Based off of investigation, Lin had had his eyes on Wang a long time, but he couldn’t find a chance to show her, on April 10th of this year, he’d asked Wu to ask Wang to a certain café to meet, when Lin arrived, Wu left, to give Lin a chance alone with Wang.

Lin saw that that, was a hard to come by chance, took out the roses, and diamond ring, to give her as a “meeting present”, wanted Wang to go out with him, Wang was shocked by Lin’s behaviors, and turned him down, then, ran out of the shop.

Lin was displeased at how he’d gotten turned down so quickly, he’d chased after Wang, and called up his two friends who were waiting by the café, the three of them forced Wang into the car, then, drove her to a certain motel in Chunghe in Hsinbei City, planned to get a room, and proclaim his love to her again.

Wang worried that something bad might happen to her, in front of the check-in counters, she’d screamed, “HELP ME!”, Lin’s friends worried that the hotel staff might call the police, Lin’s friends helped explained, that it was a “lover’s quarrel”, Wang gave them the eye roll; Lin was unscathed, told his friends to drive the car to Chunghe High School, to allow him to be alone with Wang, as he tried once more, to show her the love.

Wang, on the ride, clearly TOLD that she wasn’t interested, asked Lin to let her out, or, she will kill herself, Lin worried that the events might go south, and so, he’d allowed Wang to leave, after Wang got out of the car, she ran straight to the police, and told them of this “thrilling encounter with love”, the police managed to find the three men and made an arrest.

Uh, hello, are your RADARS on right?  When a woman says NO, she means N-O, NO, NO doesn’t mean: maybe, I’ll think about it, or, I might consider it, because if we MEANT that, we’d say that you LOSERS, and, just because a woman had turned you down, hurt your FUCKING pride, doesn’t give you the right to do what you did to her!

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The Tucheng Home Visit Volunteer Teams Lent an Ear to the Middle School Dropout Students

Kindness is still all around here, from the Newspapers, translated…

“The younger generations cared about their friends, and so, we become their friends, and to try to pull them back onto the right tracks.”, the team of volunteers that’s already set up for six years ago, is the minority group that showed care and concern toward middle to high school dropouts, and in the six years it’s been operating, he’d managed to counsel over five hundred kids, and there were those who were counseled who’d become friends with the counselors too, and even after they’d graduated, they’d still kept in touch.

“The volunteers made home visits in the evenings, and we’d have courses each and every month, to keep our knowledge base up”, the seventy year old volunteer team captain, Chen stated, at first, the team had more than 160 members, but, after hearing the long work hours and the lack of overtime pays, and without the transportation pays, a LOT of people who’d signed up had dropped out, currently, there are only forty volunteers, average at age fifty, to help with the specific cases that dropped out of school, until the separate cases graduated.

“It only takes half a month for some bad influence to set in, and, to return them to the right tracks, it takes a WHOLE lot more effort and time.”  Chen said, in a heartfelt manner, that the cases he worked with are mostly from broken families of origin, and the kids sought that sense of belonging outside, but met up with some bad influence, and, so, they would have their defenses up toward the volunteer uncles and aunts.

In order to get close to this group, the volunteers must frequent the net cafés, the pool halls too.  Chen said, actually, what this group of youth needs is for the adults to hear them out, “You can’t start lecturing them right away, ‘hey, come back to school with me’, you MUST understand where those kids are coming from, to spend some time with them, and you will find, that most of them are willing to talk to you.”

Even though the work is difficult, but this group of volunteers don’t complain, and it’d made a LOT of teenagers break their own defenses down, many, even after they’d graduated still kept contact with the social workers; Chen said, they’d encourage the kids to receive technical trainings, or to work with schools, that way, they’d have a stable source of income, and can also help the families of origin at the same time.

Other than showing care and concerns for dropouts, the home visiting volunteers in recent years, focus on those with a foreign parent, the individuals who lived on the lower end of the socioeconomic status, the children from single parent households too, hoping to help more and more children, and families to return back on the right tracks.

And so, this, is a program set up by the government, to show care and concern for kids from not-so-good backgrounds, and, without the passions of these social workers and home visitors, this program would NOT be working so wonderfully, and, people are still trying to make a difference here.

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Opening Up that Locked Window Inside Your Heart, the Features of a Woman


In my impressions, Mei-Yun is a person who’s very strict, never smiled, never talked, always carried this seriousness about her.  With her hair tied up in a bun, wearing a simple suit, with a pair of black flat shoes, that, was the “Professor’s wife” that I knew.

Two days ago, I’d gotten this hard-to-come-by call from Mei-Yun, she’d asked us, a group of friend to go over to her place for tea, to catch up.  As we arrived in her place, I, being sharp in the eyes, immediately noticed that the colors of the wallpapers, the freshly picked roses in the vase, to the few oil paintings on the walls, are not the same as the ones that were there from before.  She, who always kept herself the same, what had made her change so much? Mei-Yun said, that before marriage, she was an upbeat, outgoing young woman, not only did she love dancing, literature, she’d always hung out with her friends too.  Later on, she’d married her husband who is a doctor, and so, ever since, the title of “doctor’s wife” and “Mrs. Professor” tagged along, it’d made her wrap her original personality up.

Toward the outside world, she’d kept this strict impression of herself, and to her family, she’d followed the strict rules of being a good wife and a fitting mother.  But, these couple of years, she’d become more and more unhappy, fearing every single mistake, and also, cared too much about other people’s views of her.

She was diagnosed with mild depression, didn’t know how she can face up to her friends and relatives.  The meds, the visits to the therapists only worked for the time being, until one day, she’d met up with her classmate, Jade, then, everything started turning around.

Jade is naturally optimistic, encouraged her to TOSS away the restraints of how she feared the outside world would perceive her, to just let go, and do what makes her happy.  After Jade’s accompaniment and guidance, she’d picked up her painter’s brush, and got everything she was keeping locked up on the inside onto her canvas.  She slowly realized, that “red”, “yellow”, and “green”, these bright colors, are like her best friends, helping her out from the abyss of her own depression, pulling her into a brighter world.

Seeing how in Mei-Yun’s house, there hung her latest work of art: a little girl, stepping into the sun, with a bundle of colorful roses, violets and daisies, pushing open a window, and finding a deep blue ocean outside, looking very satisfied, that seemed to describe her state of mind right now.

So, keeping UP with this perfectionist façade is too hard, so much so, that it’d made this woman depressed, severely too, and so, she’d made a change to her own attitude, learned to relax, and learned that she should NOT carry and live UP to everybody else’s expectations of her, all she needed, was to live her life, and BE herself.

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As We’d Gotten Older, We’d Become Even MORE Comfortable

Being comfortable in one’s own skin, the growth of a woman, translated…

Recently, there’s this trend of plastic surgery, on the weekends when I’d gotten together with my girlfriends, we’d gotten engaged in the discussion topics of minor surgeries, we are all approaching forty years of age, and, the traces of time had crawled onto our faces now, after birth, our figures are NOT as slim as they used to be either.

In order to keep up with the looks, the ladies had gone through minor surgeries, some had botox injections or implants, W had even planned to get her body fat frozen and taken off of her body.  As my girlfriends shared their ins and outs with plastic surgery, I’m just listening, and NOT understanding a word they’re saying, and I didn’t realize, that there are assortments of plastic surgery.  Sitting next to me, W asked, that didn’t I feel moved to alter some physical features about myself at all?  I didn’t.

I didn’t want to spend the money, NOT because I was a natural born beauty, nor am I froze in time, I look ordinary, and, the lines on my face, along with sunspots are meeting everybody now, and, even though, my waistline is still within the normal range, but, it’s been a very long time, since I measured just twenty-five inches, as for the main reason I didn’t want to “get fixed” is traced to before when I started aging.

When I was younger, I’d had a ton of acne, causing me to NOT feel confident enough with the way I looked, I’d envied my female classmates with the clear complexions, and so, after my puberty passed, I’d worked hard, to learn to put on makeup, I’d chased beauty the best I could.

I’m NO longer the ugly duckling I once was, but I didn’t feel satisfied deep down at all, I’m not even happy, just because when there are small black dots on my face, I’d start to freak out, and, I’d spent ALL of my hard-earned money, buying the expensive makeup products, and, I’d worked hard, to make myself look beautiful on the outside, and, in the end, I’d become psychotic.

Even though, “time is the natural enemy of women”, instead, I believed, that the years had given me a TON of wisdom, it’d taught me to slowly get OUT from under the myth of looking beautiful, and I’d understood better, what happiness looks like on me.  And, I think that the “ages” give women “immunity” that is hard to come by too, it’d allowed the cougars to NOT care that much about the way they looked, after all, as age increased, it’s NOTHING to freak out over when there are extra lines, extra spots on one’s faces, is there?

And so here, we have, gone from being superficial, because she DID care too much about the way she looked, spent a TON of her hard earn money, worried too much about how she looked, and gotten psychotic, to now, not even caring a BIT about that extra frown line on her face, and this sort of an understanding only comes with A-G-E.

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