Category Archives: Socialization

Visiting New Places with a Young Child

Some free time on our hands, so, let’s, trek the city together, see what we can, find!  On going out with her young daughter, in a new city, trekking, aimlessly, see what they can, encounter on this, adventure, translated…

If you want to know a city, you must, trek it with your feet; even if you’d only, gotten to that tiny corner of the city, you will, hear its, pulses.

That day, my husband was away on business to Taoyuan, my two year-old, who’s a tag-along, a crybaby, and I, followed him out, became his, extra “baggage”.  As we’d arrived, my husband’s gone off on business, and, at a location without the tourist center, naturally, there’s, no routes to follow specified, but Google is all-knowing, turned the two of us into, those two tiny icons that moved on the maps.

In a location of without much management, if you just happened to be pushing a stroller along, it would make the locals notice you.  Sometimes, surprise, “hey, that infant is, smiling AT me!”; sometimes, the pity, “must be hard, carrying all those stuff, and with a baby on her own”, or at least, that’s, what I’d, read into it.  On our way to Tai-Wu New Village, passing through a tiny community, the residences in the alley were too old, with the years quiet, the elderly woman sitting out of her front door suddenly greeted me, “home for a visit”, I’d only, said, “hmmmm!”, as my response, I’m sure, that the elderly couldn’t see me clearly, or, I may, appear like I’m, from here then, then, suddenly, that peace came over my mind.

illustration from UDN.com

From before when I’d gone out, I’d, trekked on slowly, hang out was, just like this too, you can totally, slow your paces down with a young child, because, the child could care LESS about where you take her/him, and will only, keep on, pulling on your hand to see this, to see that, so basically, the supermarkets could be, a tourist attraction too.

And even if it was the drink shop with the signs, the steams, I’d pointed it out to her, to give a new impression of this world.  For instance, we’d stopped at the native museum, as she’d pointed to the statues of people dancing around in circles and called aloud, “Traditional Taiwanese Stage Show!”, I’d told her, “that’s the dances of the native people!”, then she’d, mumbled to herself, “native dances for the native people, native dances of the, natives!”, she’d always, repeated what we’d told her, and, if she couldn’t find the terms in her tiny mind, she’d asked, “What’s this, tell me!”, so very interesting.

I’d tried my best to find the real “tourist attractions” on the map, and finally, we’d, arrived at the riverside park.  Comparing to all the usual parks, all of these sights, are equally, majestic in my daughter’s young mind, she’d started exclaiming, “Wow!”

Like picking up that kaleidoscope, I’d loved using the angle of my daughter’s views to see the world, hanging out with her, getting along with the cute children, with no destination set, the boring things, can become, cute, and interesting.

And so, this is, what we can find, seeing things, through the eyes of a young child, the child holds that curiosity of life, of everything that surrounds her/him, and has one too many questions to ask us, and, it’s our responsibilities, to satisfy that curiosity of the young children’s, best as we, possibly, can.

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Filed under Because of Love, Interactions Shared with the World, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

In Need of More Resources from the Local Communities to Pull the At-Risk Children Back

The problem of these, at-risk teens, and there’s not enough resource provided in their local areas, which makes it harder, to save them, to keep them on that right paths of their lives, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The juvenile criminals are mostly in drugs, and fraud, this is closely related to the society’s current situations, the teens all have a cell phone, and are using the social networking apps, and can easily gather up with their peers, and have a bigger chance of getting into the new age drugs more.  And, there’s a high percentage of teens who’d gotten on the wrong side of the laws who’d been found to have the problems with their psychological wellbeing, and none of these can be resolved by the justice systems.

Guan (a false name), due to his elders’ spoiling him, started behaving badly, his father could no longer teach him wrong from right since a very long time ago, as he’d left home, he’d gotten involved with the gangs through the interactive social networking apps, and had a “godfather”. For Guan, “my godfather was kinder to me, gotten me work at the casinos, where I could make $3,000N.T. a night!”

Because he worked in the casinos, Guan was arrested, and, as the court lets him go, he’d returned to the side of his “godfather” and met and gotten involved with more gangsters.  Later, as his godfather was on the run from the law, he’d died, the court judge found him a place to stay, and he’d slowly, returned his life back on track, and, became a sports figure because of his interests.

“Chih” had been raised by his maternal grandmother, because the tribal regions he was raised in had the drug abuse problems, the first time he was caught for using drugs, he was not yet ten, and now, at age sixteen, he’d become, a frequent customer of the courthouses, other than the drug charges, he also got caught for fraud, as well as, assault.

The justice put “Chih” on probation, placed him in a home, the court offered counseling to him, they’d even sent him to rehab to help him kick his habit of abusing drugs, and had the psychiatrists discuss his case together, “Chih” loved the freedom of the mountains, ran away from the Daylight Books where he was working, set up by the pastor and his wife who’d treated him like he were their young, headed back to the tribe and helped his maternal grandmother watch and took care of the means of the grocery shops.

The judge stated, that “Chih” was not the only adolescent who’d gotten caught doing something wrong, to pull all of them back successfully, the drugs needed to be rooted up from the tribal, the community levels; and, there’s also the need for psychotherapy as well, counseling, the detox, the rehabilitations.  The court can, transfer the youths to the rehabs, but, it’s still in questions, that after these kids get out of treatment, are there going to be enough resources to keep them staying on the right tracks.

And so, this is a serious, problem, that we’re having here, these kids are from the lesser areas, of tribes, of distant regions, which means, that there would be not enough resources locally, and most of these kids joined up with gangs, because they can’t fit in, they don’t feel they belong anywhere, and the gangs are the only place they feel that there are, someone who cared for them.

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Interactions Shared with the World, Issues of the Society, On the Wrong Side of the Law, Problems of the Teenage Years, Social Issues, Socialization, The Teenage Years, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

The Care & Concerns that Came Like a Surge of Warmth

The cares shown to us, in our, day-to-day interactions with the outside world, translated…

Awhile ago, my mother wasn’t quite well, she needed surgery, the period of recovery afterwards, she’d rarely gone to the marketplace she used to go to for her shopping.

like this

shopping for the groceries, the produces from day to day…photo from online

that day, she’d finally made it out to shop.  As soon as the cashier from the supermarket saw her, she’d greeted gently, “haven’t seen you in a long while.”, as she got to the marketplace, the stand owners who knew my mother, inquired her, “is everything all right with you?”, my mother kept to herself on her physical health but toward the inquiries of those whom she’d interacted with from day to day, she’d felt the warmth, and the kindness, and, it’d added more courage, gave her the boost of energy she was in dire need of from being ill, lifted her spirits up, quite a bit too.

and, this

photo from online

The genuine care and concerns came like surges of warmth, something that we can feel, and it can give us the boosts we are in dire need of, in a lot of places, these connections are accumulated, through our interactions from day to day with others, and that, is how we are, connected to each other in this world.

And so, this is on, making the strong connections with your day-to-day life, interacting with others in your lives regularly, sharing that care and concerns for one another, continue to socialize with our, external, environment.

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Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, Translated Work

A Simple Deed

That simple gesture to greet each other, that’s made you connected with the outside world…translated…

Upon reading the article, “Don’t Forget Your Smile”, on July 13th by the writer, Chen, I can’t help but smile.

As the pandemic started, I can’t bear to see my parents, sitting at home with nothing to do all day long, so I’d taken the afternoons when the sun came shining out, to take them to stroll at the vacant riverside park.  To avoid the scorching sun, we’d gone at the set time, and the route is the exact same too, and, after awhile, I’d found those who are, the same as we.

Although dad’s already ninety, he’s still very agile, still clear in thought, and maybe, it’s his rolling around long in the business world, not being afraid of strangers was his strong suit, and not long as we began our strolls, he’d started, greeting others whom he came across, and in the end, it’d become like “Don’t Forget Your Smile”: the smiles you showed others, will produce the unimaginable butterfly effects.”

And now, we still go to the riverside park, other than getting the workout, we are more excited to bump into the cyclist who are riding the bikes, Mr. Chen who is really close to my father-in-law; Mr. Shen who was once a concrete paver before he retired, who’s always dressed nicely, Mr. Shen; Mr. Liao who had knee troubles, and can only ride his bicycle very slowly, with his black puppy running beside him.  These are, all the friends my father’s made by his “simple gestures”.

just say hello!

like this…photo from online

Oh yeah, after the summer started, we’d see a young lady who may be a student, who’d used a steady pace to run next to the river.  The next time, in the unawkward moments, not surprising or shocking her, I want to tell her, “keep working hard!”

And so, these are the regular interactions you came to share with your external environment, and, from that greeting of a simple “hi” or a nod of acknowledging one another, you’d made a friend, that just showed, how important it is, for us to keep on connecting with each other in our external environments, especially during the time of the outbreaks.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Kindness Shown, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Variations of My New Nesting Alone

Here comes, the empty nest, how to occupy oneself, by finding hobbies, and, learning to adapt to life on your own in the elderly years maintaining that connection to your friends, your acquaintances, translated…

With the compounded milestone of retirement and my wife’s death, it’d caused me to lose the focal point of my suddenly.  I’d started immersing myself into a ton of activities for the retired persons, hiking, traveling, writing, book clubs, birdwatching, calligraphy, Buddhist teachings, Tai-Chi, etc., etc., etc., what everybody else’s “continuing education” for me is just “rushing to make the deadlines of my assignments,” and “killing my time”, nothing more.

Later, my youngest daughter got married first, moved out of our home, and started a brand new perfect family with my son-in-law.  As she was pregnant, I’d immediately signed up for the nanny classes, and worked hard in learning, and to get myself, certified.  As my young granddaughter was born, I’d gone to stay with the family to take care of her for a while, but they’d felt, that my certification was from the books, and I didn’t have any real experiences.  And so, they would take the advices of those parents online, and research the means to care for their young, and bring it up in discussions with me, to learn with me.

what he was left with after his children grew up…photo from online

As my granddaughter got a bit older, they considered how hard it was for me to care for their young, they’d placed their daughter at the daycare center, and only when they are too busy at work, and couldn’t get away, then, they would call me up to look after my granddaughter.

My eldest daughter lives with me, originally, we’d gotten into arguments when we had the dogs in the house, after she was married, her husband moved in, and it’d added to the complexity of interaction, and inconvenience of life.  Although we shared the same residence, we’d interacted like strangers, and the home I’d lived in my whole life, seemed too strange to me now.

Both homes, although, there are the bedrooms for me, but, I’d felt like an extra on the set.

Once as I’d visited a friend who’d moved into a retirement village, I was attracted to the services provided by the retirement living community, and thought about moving in.  And yet, in my conversations with him, I’d caught that hint of how it wasn’t as wonderful as I may have imagined, because there’s no people our age who’d cared for one another, and I’d decided, to put that idea on the backburner then.

And, there was a resident I had for rent which was about to expire, and, I’d started wondering if I should continue renting the place out or not?  I’d thought about it, my two daughters are married, with their own families and homes; and I’m an elderly person, with the free bus pass now, from before my retirement, I’d worked overseas and could care for myself, living alone is second nature to me.  And so, I’d decided, to let go of what’s tying me back, take that very first step toward my own independence at old age, took that rental space off the markets, moved out of my old nest, and started, living, alone.

As I’d moved in to my “new place”, the most important thing was I’d felt, that the twenty-four hours in the day belonged to solely me, I have all the time to use at my own preferences.  I now had enough time to read, to preview my school work, to research, to write down the lines that touched me which I read from the books………then, suddenly, these things I used to do to kill the time, no longer served that purpose anymore.

And because of how convenient it was, living on my own, my former classmates, my new ones, my old friends, my new acquaintances, to my home for gathering, teas, meals, chats, and we’d all interacted freely with one another, come and go as they pleased.  And this was the never-before sense of openness I now experience regularly.

Letting go of the self more, treat my self kind, I’m currently working on growing older, alone.

And so, this is a lesson that we all must learn to master eventually, because we will all age, and we will all face up with the means of children leaving the nest, and suddenly, we got too much time on our hands, and like what this man did, he’d worked hard, developing his own interests, and, found a way to keep up with his contacts, and continue to socialize with his external environment as he age.

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Filed under Empty Nest, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Interpersonal Relations, Issues of the Society, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, Values

The Triathlete Loves Saunas, Started a Band with Members of His Church

How besides his work in medicine, he also got involved in many hobbies that can help him de-stress from the job too, off of the Newspapers, translated…

Based off of the gentle and mild stature of the director of the Keelung Hospital of the Department of Health Welfare & Sanitations, Lin does NOT fit to the image of a triathlete, other than exercising to keep his physical health up, he’d loved the saunas, he’d gone into the heated pools and the colder, and rotated several times to relax his muscles, he was able to reduce the strains in his body, and relax his mind at the same time, and, all the problems he had in work, all manage to resolve themselves.

the man in his robe!

photo from UDN.com

Lin who lives in Wenshan District of Taipei, after supper, he’d gone out cycling with his wife to the riverside trails, then, he’d rode up on his own to Maokong.  As he arrived at the top of the mountains to see the night lights, there was a younger fellow who saw him riding up who’d called out to him, “hey young man, you can really ride!”, and as the man learned that he was approaching sixty, the man had that look of disbelief on his face.  A lot of people didn’t know, that after he takes his doctor’s robes off, he is a triathlete, he’d ridden his bicycle, circling the island, and gotten involved in the triathlons, swim across the Sun-Moon Lagoon.

Lin enjoys the sauna, he’d loved the sauna opposite of the Yangming Mountains, looking at the distant mountaintops, he felt relieved, and healed in the body and the mind.  He’d especially loved soaking in the general population pools, as he took turns in the hot springs and cold springs, he could think about the trials of life, and the hardships he’d faced at the hospital, or maybe it was how relaxed he was then, the manage to resolve these issues would often surface to his mind.

Music was his source of joy, he’d met his wife because of music too.  Back in middle school, he’d played the guitar, in university, he was the president of the guitar club, being a Christian, he’d even started up a band with members of his own church, and they’d gathered for two, three rehearsals per month and performed together.

Lin is also a member of the choir of his church too, which inspired him.  He’d told, that the melody singers are important, but the harmonies of the second, third, and fourth choirs are needed as well, same of the medical teams.  The four-party choirs relied on the ying and yang’s of Tai-Chi, like meditation, prayers, it can bring about that balance of the mind and the soul, giving him the strengths of recovery he needed.

And so, this man has his faith, his exercise, and a lot of other hobbies, aside from his already too stressful work of being a doctor, a director of a hospital, and all of these hobbies helped him de-stress, and after he retires, he will not have nothing to do, than to just sit, and grow that mold!

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Filed under Hobbies/Pasttimes, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values

In This Time of Economic Downturn & Inflation, We are in Need to Help One Another Out More

Giving all she could, to others who are in more need than she and her family is, the kindness, still happening, despite how the economic is getting worse, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

A few days ago, when I got home, my mother who was selling the produces downstairs came up and asked me gleefully, guess how much we made from the vegetables these past two days?

From before, and my mother’s gloating means, I’d stated, “three, four thousand dollars?”, she’d smiled, and told me the “correct answer”: I made four hundred on Thursday, three hundred on Friday.  This was, the lowest on my mother’s record of sales; she’d made seven hundred in two days, meaning, that deducting the cost, she and my older sister only made three, four hundred, and they split that amongst themselves.

My mother said, that at least, she’d paid no rent on the vegetable stand, the stand with the salted fish opposite, was rented to him for over $800N.T.s, and for the entire morn, he’d only, sold one fish.  It’s a wonder, that my mother was, laughing about it, everybody is competing to see who’s worse off than whom!  She surely, found the bright side to what’s, too dark here.

Everybody’s not doing well, and, we’d accumulated the produces we sold.  But because we can’t get the customers, and we needed to make a living, and so, we’d, traded with other vendors, some of the fruits, because of health issues, some of the family members can’t enjoy, and, we’d had to, trade them all out to others.  My mother told me: just see it as doing the good deeds.  And so, we can, only, give those produces, fruits away, free of charge.

More than a decade ago, this tiny stand, helped my mother make her retirement pensions, and these past few years, she’d worked to sell the produces for the sake of her health, and, since the pandemic started three years ago, she’d sold from her stand, based off of her good will, giving back to the local communities.

To save up the cost of operations, the vendors wouldn’t even turn on the electric fans, because the renters would charge another fifty extra, and the stands from the left and right of my mother asked her to get the head of the fan to rotate, so they can get some cooled air too, to help everybody stay cool, we’d switched to an industrial fan.

That day, the older woman who sold the vegetarian sticky rice begged my mother, that she’d not asked my mother for a “favor”. That even though, she’d brought only half of what she normally sells, there are still, a ton left over, that it would be hard for her to bring the unsold amount back home again, asked my mother to buy from her.  So, my mother bought three kilograms, and the following day, she’d brought it heated up, to give it to the other owners of stands around her.

My mother said, that all the vendors can’t understand, how the business is so awful, it wasn’t the end of month, nor had the school started yet, how come there’s just, not enough, shoppers?  For my mother’s generations, they had no concepts of what inflation was, let alone, global warming, but the Ukrainian-Russian Conflicts they knew of, but, tying all of that with how the sales of food had gone down at the local markets, I’m afraid, it would take me, ages to help her understand, and so, I’d told her straight up: the oils we used, a sixty-dollar increase, and, a few days ago, it’d, gone up another twenty-dollars.

From before, there was the tiny price hikes, and these price hikes had to get pass the numerous evaluations, and now, the costs rise up as they pleased, not only in huge ratios, and in everything too.

My mother seemed to understand, why there are, not enough shoppers at the markets then!  I’d told her, “at least we don’t pay the rents for the stands, we have a roof over our heads, no debts, and we’re all, quite healthy…we are, blessed, although we don’t have a whole lot, but if we’re willing, we can still, help others who are, less, fortunate than us.

Last year on my mother’s birthday, I’d prepared a sum to get my mother on a trip, but I’d canceled due to the outbreaks, and I’d asked her if she wanted to donate the amount to charity, because a lot of people in this country aren’t, making it.  She’d stated, “donating this sum to those who are in need, it’s a good call!”

And so, this, is on giving back to the communities, even if this family isn’t rich, they’re, middle class, making it on their business of selling the produces at the local markets, and yet, the members of this family have good hearts, and, they’re, helping others who are in more need than they are, using what they have, to give back.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, In the Workplace, Interactions Shared with the World, Kindness Shown, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, Stories of Hope

Boundaries

The schemata of how we interpret things, which got exacerbated by what was told to us, adding to the stereotypes, which made us get into the flight mode, translated…

I’d stayed in the third largest city of the U.S., Chicago for a time.

Before I set out, the contacts of University of Chicago notified me, that they’d set me up for the international student dorms, that a lot of the shorter stay exchange students or the scholars all live there, that it’s a, “safe” location.

I couldn’t understand what the man meant “safe”, started guessing at it, was it the earthquakes?  The typhoons?  Or, the threats from the Chinese missiles?  And clearly, it was, NONE of these.

The contact also told me, because I had a mediocre length stay, and it was in the middle of the semester, that if it was during the summer vacations, I could find a room to rent from a student who’d gone home, that it would be cheaper, and closer to the school, that it would be, “safer”.

Another matter of safe and safter, the man kept mentioning the word, “safety”, and it’d made me imagined the gun shooting scenes in the American movies, and I couldn’t help but, trembled, and started wondering on the “difference between safe and safer”, and, with my language barrier, I would have to live at a “safer” location, why would I want to risk being just, “safe”? 

Perhaps, my contact noticed my trouble, he’d immediately told me, “don’t worry!  You live on 59th Street, 59th north up to 49th is all safe, just don’t go over 59th~”

This made me worry even more, south of 59th is dangerous, doesn’t that means, that I live, on the “borders”?  Then, how can I be certain of how what’s “unsafe”, doesn’t break the boundaries?  Or, is the real boundaries of “unsafe” actually on 60th or 61st, 59th could be, farther away, from what’s, “unsafe” then?  But, what is the measurements, the considerations of this, means of, “safety”?

After a long, long ride, close to twenty hours since I’d landed, I’d finally, arrived at the gates of the international student dormitories, it was a road of at least, eight lanes, a freeway with all the cars rushing by, like a river that you can’t see the other side of.  There’s the widened island in the middle of the road, the green trees grew on that island, and I can’t seem to find a pedestrian’s crossing section.  I’d finally understood, the boundaries of “safety” of the 59th then.  I’d thought, what weaves to and from, in and out of this, boundary, perhaps, are nothing more than the pigeons, and the, sparrows.

Every day, I’d trekked to and from the international dorm and the school, and on the weekends, I’d gone to Lake Michigan to stroll.  As it was winter, there’s, nothing but snow on the streets.  And, I’d started, bumping across those riding out on their bicycles or the joggers, those who’d brushed shoulders with me, no matter the skin colors, they all, looked, decent, enough, and clearly, the local residents were with, higher levels of, education, with good jobs, and, so this, is a, “good” district.  I’d always, stared dumbfounded across the other side, looking up at the clouds overhead, imagined what the trees covered up, what’s, on the, other side?

One day, a few of my lab mates were driving out.  All the way, we were all chatty, and getting into good conversations, and then, suddenly, after a turn, everybody fell, silent, and, the streets were, sunken, in the, darkness of the rustiness of the steel, and, even if the colors are painted with brighter colors…………as I saw the faces of those who’d been living in Chicago for long, as a newbie, I’d, come to know, and, started, making myself, scarce in the seats.

At this time, the engine started, making the weird noises.  The driver started, sweating now, the passenger next to the driver, with his eyes opened wide, as if mumbling, “why did you have to turn in here”, and questioning, “did you get this car tuned up on time?”, at the same time, alerted to watch the goings on of the window, with one hand, clenching the handlebar over the window tight.

The engine that sounded like it was dying, was totally a contrast to the hearts beating in the car then, I’d felt heated u, but that cold sweat started, rolling down my spine.  Then, a few more blocks, the car, died.  And the three large guys by the side of the road noticed us, and the driver started getting, panicky, there’s no other pedestrians, no other cars anywhere near us.  The large man moved slowly, the driver quickly pressed the central door lock systems, and we had all, started, hyperventilating, and the driver started the keys in the ignition over, over, and over, I’d squinted my eyes to the lines.  “Could it be that he’s here, to offer us help?”, a thought came to me, but I’d not, dared, blurt it aloud……………

It’s moving, it’s moving, the car is, moving, I’d looked through the rearview, saw the large men spreading their arms out, and, shrugging, away.

Then, I kept on wondering, maybe, they were there, to help us out, it’s just, that invisible border of the stereotypes are like the boundary of the 59th, like that huge gap that none of us can, and were, willing to, cross, to the point that as I’d asked my friends later, if they would, live through it again, will they still have run in a hurry, they’d responded, that they, would.

And so, this is how the stereotypes can get so deep in us, that we get into the mindset of automatically separating people into the categories that we were, socialized to put them in, and that’s just wrong, because if you don’t get to know the individual personally, how can you tell if the person is good, or bad, just based off of their, skin colors?

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Filed under Awareness, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Racial Profiling, Racism, Socialization, Stereotypes, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

My Children’s Act of Kindness Toward a Stranger on the Bus on Our Trip to Japan

The most beautiful sight of a place is still, the people we encounter on our travels, translated…

As we exited the Hiroshima station of the Shinkansen that day, the afternoon from the previous day, our flight landed, with the rainy fronts, that followed us, all the way here, from Kobe.  But as travelers, we have no right to get upset over the weather, our next stop was the Shukkei-en, and we’d still, alighted the bus, and arrived there.

Different than how quiet the nighttime port of Kobe had been, the noontime station at Hiroshima was rowdy and populated, especially, there were so many faces of, foreigners, as a city, known during the war.  We’d followed the signs to before the bus stop, with already a long line before us, as we alighted, we were lucky to find a double-seat, and I’d, sat my children down.

On the way, not very many passengers got off, but there were people who’d climbed onboard along each and every stop, and, the crowd pushed me away from the seats, as we were about to arrive, I’d found that my daughter had my son on her lap, and the two of them leaned in to the windows and chit-chatted in their whispers, and, on the next seat, here was, a young boy, who’s about my son’s age, with blonde hair, blue eyes.  I’d called out to my children that we’re, getting off, the young boy first looked confused, then, seeing my children get up, he’d understood that they were, getting off, and, sat slanted, to allow them to get out.

As I was about to get off, I’d felt that someone grabbed my arm, I’d lifted my eyes, saw this, Caucasian woman, saying thank you to me repeatedly, as a mother, my instinct told me, that this must be that young boy’s mother.  Her thanks came from how my children, as they were sitting on the crowded bus, seeing that young boy get on, and sat together, and gave the boy a seat, so he won’t have to bump on the ride.  I’d returned her smile with my smile, took my children off the bus.  As I turned around to look, the two of them, mother and son sat by the windows, and waved hard to us, “bye-bye!”, and we’d, called back loudly too, knowing, that they can’t hear a thing on that crowded bus.

The rain still continued drizzling down, but it’d not affected the travelers one bit. The three children from two different countries, squished together in that tight seating space, but, the kindness was so wide.  As we’d headed to the Shukkei-en, it’s said that it was a miniature identical-twin of the sights of Xihu, but in my mind, my children already gave me that amazing scene on the bus ride from Hiroshima.

And so, this is the kindness of children working, and, this is the act of kindness from strangers, the children saw the need of that little boy who’s unsteady on the bus, and, gave a seat to him, and this kindness still doesn’t come from nowhere, it comes from the kids, being taught, and watching and modeling after their adults’ behaviors in their daily lives.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Kindness Shown, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Transformation into a Princess

The lesson this father learned, from his baby daughter, who is in her, Queen Elsa stage of life, translated…

I have a four-year-old daughter who loved nothing but skirts, but, in her preschool, for the kids to stay easily managed, and having the agility to do the class activities, the preschool told the students that they can’t wear skirts or dresses to classes, and so, on the weekends and holidays, she’d, made up for it, putting on the skirts, the dresses, to satisfy her own desires of being dolled up like a princess.

Since we received the preowned princess dress from a friend, she’d, found that hidden princess side of her self, even though, she’d not seen any Disney princess films, but through the social networking in her school, she’d become, the master of “Frozen” by Disney, “let it go” became her overly used phrase, and on the weekends, she’d insisted, on becoming Elsa the queen, with that crown on her head, a magic wand in her hand, then, she would allow us to take her out, she’d, put her heart, her soul, her being into this, as a father to her, and a film director, I don’t know how to react to it, and realized, just how, powerful an influence the movie industry has on the people.

I wrecked my mind, do I, allow my daughter to exercise her own free imagination, or to restrict her, to set a right kind of value system for her to follow?

little girls, dressing themselves up as princesses

photo from online

This semester, I’d started teaching a master class, “Writing Scripts for Young Children”, I’d set up the discussion times with my students on the matter of “children” from before.  First, understand the minds of the young children?  How the children’s thought processes worked?  How do they express themselves?  How to get along, communicate, then lastly, what we want to, give to the children?  This order is quite vital, but in the Asian culture, stressing raising outstanding children, we only cared about what we’re, feeding to the children, how to make them absorb what we’re giving to them, to make sure they learned the lessons quickly, and all of the lessons we have to teach all at once?  As for the children’s thoughts, or feelings………we’d ignored, wait until they’re older, then, we tailor to that.

On the weekend, I took my young daughter, dressed up as Queen Elsa to Costco to shop, because of how she’d stood out, the ladies working at the sample tables, and demonstrating the new products all came to say hello.

“Hi, princess”.

“Princess, you are, beautiful!”

“What are you looking to buy today, princess?”

“Are you Princess Elsa?  I saw your movie once!”

All the way, my daughter was very conversational with everybody who’d greeted her, it’s her dad who felt, embarrassed, and boy oh boy, am I glad, that I’d put my mask on.

“Does it bother you, or make you uncomfortable, that you’re getting, everybody’s, attention?”, I’d asked my daughter.

“no.”, she’d responded.

“So, you enjoy all the attention then?” I’d inquired.

“Sure, because they’re giving me compliments, affirming me.”, she’d told me.

Actually, this child of mine, had suppressed her feelings from when she was a young child, refused to express herself, and we’d had to guess what’s on her mind a lot.  It took my wife and I a ton of time, and worked hard with her, for her to finally express her own emotions, to tell her thoughts to us, and now, the results are finally, apparent.

what these, little girls, loved…photo from online

Before we give to the children, and teach them things, we must first, know what they’re thinking, how they’re, feeling; understand, empathize, allowing them to tell us, give the children their own means of expression, to valid what they experience, this is, the core value of writing for children.

Letting the children be themselves, versus training them to be someone else we expect them to become, this is a huge matter for not just the parents, but also, a must-learn lesson for everybody in this world.  I’m too grateful to my princess, teaching her father, the “king”, to learn this, important lesson.

So, the adults learned something from the children here, because there is, a lot to learn from your own kids, but, mostly, you @#$%ING (maxed out!) adults think, that we’re older, therefore, we know more than you do kid, and, we will silence you, because you got nothing important to say, after, we are older, AND wiser, having lived longer.

And yet, there are, a ton of things, that the adults should be learning from their own young, not the other way around, children are, born wise, and then, they grow up, become, stupid adults.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Imaginative Play, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Socialization, The Doll Corner