Category Archives: Socialization

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, translated…

The Wind Started Blowing, the Hat Flew Off

The Wind Stopped, the Hat, Dropped into the Water

The Wind Got Angry, Why is Everything Blamed on it?

artwork of Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com幾米

This is scapegoating, because instead of making sure that that hat is, SECURE on your heads, you’d, blamed it on the wind because it’s, much, much easier than, to take responsibilities for what you failed to do in the first place, this happens, quite a lot, if you can believe it!

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Filed under Being Exposed, Belief in a Just World, Cause & Effect, Children in Mindset, Everyone Else's Fault, Excuses, Lessons, Observations, Scapegoating, Socialization

A Different Life

With the assistance given to these families by the foundation, these families can finally, have some sense of, normalcy in their, functioning, translated…

In the meetings that day, the senior early childhood intervention educator, Mrs. Shih told everybody, there was a student’s mother whom she’d lost contact with that’s gotten reconnected with her on FB, told her that her twins who were, helped by the center from before, who’d, received the early intervention helps are, in the universities now.

Mrs. Shih said, as the mother told her how her children were doing, it’d, deeply impacted her, because as the twins were sent to the early intervention center, they had troubles, feeding themselves, and yet, Mrs. Shih wasn’t as experienced as she is now, she’d, become, too nervous when looking after the twins, worried, that she may, injure the twin if she weren’t, careful enough; but, over a decade later, the twins had the abilities to take the entrance exams for college, and, they’d, both gotten into the public universities too.

I’d once heard other coworkers, sharing the tales of success.  The person in the story was, Shen, he’d lost his parents, and lacked that secure attachment, he’d, needed to hug everybody he saw, and in the end, he was called, the “sexual predator”; but, as he’d been sent to the foundation for placement, he’d, learned to express his insecurity in an alternative method, and because of the company he had from his teachers, his peers, he’d, changed his manners from being timid as he’d come to the center, to now, being able to, laugh out loud.

There was, also, the younger brother of a guy, that he’d, felt like an older brother to his own older brother, because his older brother needed to get taken care of more.  Thankfully, after the older brother received job trainings, he’d, started working, not only was he making his own way, he’d no longer needed to, be watched over staying at home, and he finally had the time, to do what he wanted to do, and felt the burdens, lifted from his shoulders now.

If the early interventions didn’t happen, then, the twins may still need someone else to help them at meal time, let alone how they’d, taken the college entrance exams; had the teachers not helped Shen adjust his behavior problems, he would now still be, misunderstood, as a “sex predator”; if the older brother didn’t get the job training he needed, the younger brother would still be, carrying that burden of taking care of him, and NOT had a life of his own, the life that he’d, wanted; and, those families that were, torn apart, because of the children’s conditions, after the children were, placed in the early intervention programs, the atmospheres at home became much better; and, the aging parents, who could, no longer look after their own young, and after they’d asked the First Welfare Foundation for assistance, they’d now, found time to breathe, for themselves…………

Every time I’d heard these stories, it’d, moved me very much, the teachers at the First Welfare Foundation, had originally, just wanted to, help the needed to have a better, a more comfortable life, but, their work had, touched the families as well, helped these families, changed for the better, giving a higher quality of life, of the family members.

Reason why I’d started this column, is because, I want the world to know, how extraordinary these teachers are, how they’re, using their, professionalism, their passions, persistence, and love, to help turn the families they’d helped, around, giving the families, new hope, so they can, keep on, hoping for, a better, a brighter future for themselves.

And so, this, is considered the fishing pole program, because this foundation had helped those who are, mentally decapacitated to have a skill set, to train them to take care of themselves, so, their families no longer need to worry about them all the time, and, this is an amazing program, and we should have more of these, social welfare foundations that are, doing this sort of work in the world.

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Filed under Awareness, Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Cost of Living, Education, Expectations, Kindness Shown, Lessons, Overcoming Obstacles, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, on what’s instinctive to someone, may not be instinctive to another, and we shouldn’t, judge one another based off of what we know!  Translated…

Can’t believe they’re, learning to swim, what do they learn in learning to swim, isn’t that supposed to be, instinct?

Nope.

the artwork that came with the passage, off of UDN.com

Not at all.

By this “conversation”, we can tell, how we lacked respect for what each other has, that we make judgments of one another based off of our personal experiences, and the thing is, everybody has different experiences in life, just because it’s something you know, that doesn’t mean, that everybody knows it too…

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Filed under Awareness, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Nature vs. Nurture, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Values

Regarding the Extracurricular & the Camps

Getting involved, in non-school related activities here, translated…

My youngest was headed out early in the morn, because the camp from her major was starting, as a freshman, she is very enthusiastic of all the activities hosted by her major.  I remembered, that, we’d, headed out before light for her last thing too, in the nearly zero degree icy cold floor of the CKS Memorial Hall, rolled around on the floorboards, it was her salsa club of her high school, she was responsible for coordinating a “recital of her younger schoolmates.”

My youngest started dancing from her kindergarten years to date, dance had become, her favorite.  It’s just, that her school teachers mentioned how if she’d worked too hard on her “hobby”, it may, cause her grades to slip, but she’d, asked us, not to worry, “the extracurriculars are important rites of passage, just let them give it all they got for this!”  but, I’d, found my daughter, with that lack, of enthusiasm, turned out, she had, dropped her activities, because she’s still, trying to figure out what she’s good at academically, she’d told us, “I’m more than certain about dance, and anything else, is not good enough for me.”  Until her final year in high school, she’d, transferred from the sciences, to the social sciences, and now, she’s, in the major she has great interests in, communications, and, she’d, danced every day, and now, she’d, gone out early in the morn, for her summer camp activities.

查看來源圖片the assortments of activities, not related to the academic…photo from online

My eldest and I, were both into the extracurriculars in our high school years, I’d, gotten involved in two groups, one was for vanity, the band, the other, school paper.  Being in band, I’d, played the trumpet, without much talent, just so I can, put on that marching uniform that made me shine on flag day, and, walking across the podium before the President’s Office.  As for the school paper, it was, where my heart lies, I’d, let my own, writing talents, poured out.  I’d recalled, how hard it’d been that I had, worked, on every topic, how I’d, gone to the shopping marts, to find the old photos, to do the interviews, and published my not-mature-enough writings, wanted to pour all of my doubts of the world, my feeling lost for my future, along with my dissatisfaction toward school, all out in the open.

I can no longer recall how the periodical had, turned out, but, my grades, slipped, and, that became, a F-A-C-T.

I’d found a university that I really don’t hate to study in, but the major I was in, it wasn’t anywhere near my interest profile.  And, by then, editing the periodicals, no longer, satisfied my mind, maybe back then, love was, taken up half of my mind.

And yet, because I’d, lost love, I’d, decided, to go for the president of the club, to let myself, embrace this major I’d, found myself to be in, tired, to learn to be a, leader.  And so, the memories of my college years, were revolved around the freshmen orientations, the camps, the seminars, the book fairs, the competitions.  I recalled all the guest lecturers I’d invited, remembered all the shows we’d put on for the freshmen orientations, recalling that freshman ball we hosted, remembered the singing and skit competition I’d, set up, remembering being in the trainees of the officers of the clubs of the school too, along with how I continued being the team counselor as I went into my senior year.

I’d once not wanted to graduate, because I loved being a student too much.  And, the best memories of being a student, are from, the extracurricular activities, as we’d, entered into the groups on our own, there’s, too many connections there.  Like how I watched my eldest get too excited as she’d, started, editing the footage, like how I imagined my youngest happily, leading the freshmen, because she’s, finally, a sophomore.

查看來源圖片volunteer counts too!  Photo from online

Some had found their significant others in the extracurricular groups, like my eldest brother and sister-in-law.  A lot of people found what they truly loved, like my youngest and I.  Recently, I’d, edited a periodical of a bookstore, and, I’d, found my passions there, and that, was when I’d, recalled, this, was what I loved, doing back then.

And so, these extracurricular activities in college, they’d not, only enriched our schooling careers, but it may also, point us, toward the directions of our, future jobs too, and so, don’t be too worried, when your own young got too involved in their extracurricular activities, besides, the university years aren’t about making the grades, it’s about, discovering, who we are!!!

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Filed under Choices, College Life, Connections, Friendships, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Lessons, Life, Memories Shared, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, translated…

Because I can’t keep my self all the time, keep maintaining that bright happy smile,

So, I’d made an enormous sculpture, to tell myself: be happy, smile more!

the artwork of Jimi Liao, from UDN.com…

This is just odd, and, it’s so sad to see, that there are still, adults “educating” their own young like this: that they can’t be unhappy, they need to be happy, and you DO realize, how this, is considered as a sort of emotional NEGLECT, right???

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Filed under Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Messed Up Values, Negligence, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

Please Let Go, and Trust in Me, Having an Overbearing Mother

The problem here, is still NOT with the daughter, but with the mother, but, does she realize it???  Of course N-O-T, translated…

From awhile ago, on the news, a certain organization had been losing money by the year, the second-generation owner decided to sell of the office building, for cash, the founder, as he was, interviewed, stated, “My heart ached as my son did it, but now, I’d, trusted in his decisions entirely!”

This pair of father and son made me so envious, and at the same time, I’d, felt heartache for them both, because how I’d, wished that my own mother, can trust me like this father had his own son too.

From the views of the world, I guess, I’m, the pride of my parents: made high grades, gone to an all-star institution, and, managed to pass the exams for a public office on my very first try, I’d never needed my parents to worry over my school performances or my work.

Although my mother stated verbally, that I’d, done well for myself, but she’d, never had faith, that I can, handle things on my own, whether it be how I’d spent my money, how to treat others I meet, whether to have children after I married, who should care for my child if s/he was born…………my mother’s criticisms came at me, never-ending, “it’s for your sake”, was her most widely used phrase, and her weapon.

She’d never understood, that what she’d believed to be a show of care and concern, her nagging, was interpreted as how she didn’t trust me enough, I’d tried to tell her, but her response was always, “Those with your last names, can’t take any criticisms from others!”

When I was interning, I’d, lived at home, I’d had a crash on a rainy day, and, as I’d, bent my knees, my injuries started bleeding, but I’d not let my mother know, I’d, bent down, holding the pains in, as I’d helped clean up the house, until my mother rode out to get the groceries, and found the head of the motorcycle dented, that, was when she’d, found out.  I’d gotten into another, serious crash after I was married, and, it’d been years to this very day, I’d still, not told my parents what had happened to me.

Of the two wrecks I got in, I was, very scared, but I knew, that other than feeling anxious over me, and nagging me, my parents couldn’t do anything for me, and they’d, surely, blamed me, for being, too careless too.  And so, no matter how painful, I’d much rather, hide the truth from them.

I’d never doubted the love my mother had for me, but every time, as I’d, wanted to show affection towards her, she’d started, lecturing me, and in the end, she’d added, “Nobody else is going to tell you this, I’m your mother, that was why, for your sake, I’m, telling, you the truth!”  in my mother’s mind, I’ll never be, enough, there are, always things, I can, improve, and, all of my good performances are, matter-of-fact, and yet, the imperfections, are what pricked at her, and she’d needed to, get rid of them.

But, my dearest mother, you know what?  Your daughter may not be perfect, but, she’d always tried very hard, worked hard, can you just, let go, and trust in me?

And, hopefully, this woman’s mother can see this article, and change the way she interacts with her daughter, but, I’m still, NOT holding MY breath, because parents like these, they think what they’re doing, IS for the good of their young, and they just keep on, doing whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they’re doing, using their same old ways, probably because they were, treated as such by their own parents (‘cuz these sorts of SHITS still gets passed down, from one generation to the next, like D.N.A.???) and this daughter is going to, have a very difficult time, getting closer to her mother that’s for sure…

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Filed under Adult Children, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Cost of Living, Enmeshment, Everyone Else's Fault, Family Dynamics, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lessons, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Overbearing Parents, Overinvolvements of Parents, Parent-Child Interactions, Problems with Grown-Ups, Properties of Life, Psycho Parents, Socialization, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Seeing the Love without Boundaries from a Foreign Spouse

How the kindness cycled around, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Last week, I’d gone to a free clinic session for the foreign worker fishermen, because most of the fishermen were from Indonesia, so there was a translator alongside me all the way; I’d had the spare time, and struck up a conversation with her.

“I’d seen you every single time in the free clinics, you’re always smiling, very kind and gentle, you’re, a rare gem!”, I’d commended her.  “Doctor, you thought too much of me, they’re my countrymen, floated across to Taiwan to work, I’m glad, that I can, be of some sort of minute assistance.”

I’d asked her where she came from, “I lived in Jakarta originally, my father is a catering chef, with an unstable income, and there are, too many mouths to feed, and so, in my high school years, I’d, married to Kaohsiung, hoping, to make some extra money, to wire it back home, to help with my family, but………”, she’d taken a very long inhale, continued, “not long after we were wed, my husband was diagnosed with oral cancer, after three surgeries, countless electrotherapy sessions, he could no longer work”.  What made her situation worse was, as her kids rode together on a scooter to visit their father at the hospital, they were hit by a car, her daughter was injured severely, in the I.C.U., her son with fractures, and needing surgery.

Back then, she was looking after her elderly in-laws on her own, her sick husband, and her injured children, she felt hopeless.  But thankfully, her parents in Indonesia wired some money for her, and her eldest sister who’d married to Malaysia flew over especially to help her out too for three months; more importantly, the national health insurance coverages, it’d, helped her out with the costs of the treatments; she’d worked as a translator at the agency during the daytime, at night, she’d gone to school, to hone up on her Chinese skills, her son part-timed through school, they were, just, getting by.

“Actually, the Taiwanese people are quite helpful, I’d met a ton of those who were willing to go out of their ways to assist me, by just being there for emotional support, or those who’d, offered to help me with my finances.  I’m grateful, and in order to pay them back, I’d, signed on these sorts of voluntary work, to make what I can do useful and helpful, and this time, I’d, brought along my children who’d healed from their injuries to volunteer also, to make sure they will note, the love that’s, without the borders in Taiwan.”

Her husband may not be well-educated, or made a lot of money, but she’d, loved Taiwan like it was her home country, as the trials came, she’d, taken them all in, no complaints, no regrets, she’d, utilized her spare time, to hone up on her skills, to acculturate herself into the local communities, and knew to give back, she is, the model citizen for all of the foreign spouses that’s for sure!

And, this, is how this woman was, driven by the cycle of kindness, she was shown kindness when she was in need, when her family had problems, she’d received help from all around her, and that was what drove her, to give back now.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Because of Love, Being Alone, Connections, Cost of Living, Getting Treatment, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Lessons, News Stories, Observations, Overcoming Obstacles, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Socialization, Values