Category Archives: Socialization

Lee Set Up the Lost-from-Society League, to Help Change the Unfriendly Atmosphere of the Society, “Stop Seeing Only the Illness & Not the Individuals Who Have it”

The experiences of her bipolar, and how she’d, used her experiences, to help others who are experiencing similar trials in their lives, offering them the support she worked so hard to get, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

When Yun Lee was twenty-one, because she had the self-mutilation wounds on her wrists, her school reported her as “attempted suicide”.  Since that day, she was labeled as “person of interest” by the local offices of sanitations’ system of “suicide watch”.  Lee was placed in psychiatric care, and psychotherapy, but this was, a despairing process of her to experience.

Three years ago, Lee gathered her own journal entries and used the pseudonym “Lin” to publish the book, “Note of Psychological Illnesses”, criticized how the psychiatrists only see the illnesses, and not the patients.  Using a pseudonym, because she didn’t want to announce to the world that she has bipolar, she said, the society expects those “who help others to be mentally stable”, that the notes of her self-mutilating process were nowhere NEAR okay, if she disclosed that she’d had these encounters, it may impact her jobhunting process.

Until two years ago, she’d started writing under her real name.  Because she and other psychiatric patients like her, set up a “Taiwanese Psychologically Ill Association”, a support group from the angle of trauma medicine, to help the voices of the psychologically ill patents get heard, to change the unfriendly system.

“Homosexuals also came out together”, Lee had been out of the closets for many years already, the experience of coming out as a lesbian was from her “Crazy Persons’ Movement”.  She’d called herself “crazy”, and, embraced the blemished identity of being psychologically ill, like how some of the homosexual persons called themselves “queer”.

「精神病手記」的作者李昀一直關注精神病友的權益,也與病友寫信維持情感支持。記者胡經周/攝影
the woman, who wrote the book on her own mental illness, who cares a whole lot of others who’d been diagnosed with a psychological illness like her, replying back to them in letters…photo courtesy of UDN.com

Lee pointed out, the psychologically ill persons’ reasons for not “coming out” is same as the reason why homosexuals couldn’t, worried that they may lose the connection with the “normal” people in the world: “When you’d become nothing in the society you live, this, is how it kills us, not the illnesses themselves.”

The writer, Hsu was thirty years prior to Lee, and back then, the talks of homosexuality, mental illnesses, were even more, tabooed.

Two decades ago, as those who had depression were afraid to go get treated, Lin penned down, “Goodnight, Depression”, to describe his own experiences with depression.  After his book was published, he’d received a ton of reader responses, and showed his passage to the psychiatrist treating her/him, and, another had placed his publication on the nightstands, to remind her/himself, that “I’m not alone.”

In 2009, Lin left his final note on his blog, ignited a discussion on the boards.  Hsu knew, that he didn’t WANT to die, and the reason he’d published that final note was because he was in too much pain, that he couldn’t, take it anymore.  “Maybe, I’m, making an example of myself, to the other people with psychological illnesses, that if you can’t take it, seek out help.”

Writing, showing up, these are, all, signals of S.O.S., a need to be, understood.  Lee often received calls from others with shared experiences as she, “They felt that I understood what they are going through.”  But even IF we have the same diagnosis, that doesn’t mean that I understand what another individual is going through, that I can, empathize with them.  “Every patient is an island”, with varied reasons of what drove us insane, and we are all unique, in the expression of our, insanity, but, “being together is enough, at least, we won’t, feel, so alone in this.”

And so, this points out the importance of having that needed social support when you’re in trouble, but, even if there are supports, people don’t normally seek it out, because, they’re all still, socialized into thinking, that, mental illness is bad, that if I come out of the dark, people won’t understand me, and so, they keep on, suffering on their own, without knowing, that all they need to do is to, reach out, and, help will come to them, and besides, that very first step out, is always, never easy, because you don’t know how the outside world will see you, and nobody wants to be labeled as, CRAZY, so that’s why, all of these sufferings, are going, unnoticed.

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Filed under Life, Mental Health Issues, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization

An Expensive Child

The upbringing of the child, how do we, train our kids, what goals do we want our kids to attain in school, to excel, to become, one of the, elites, placing them in private schools, or, do we, want them to, encounter, people who are like, and unlike themselves, so they can, gain a wider perspective of, the world, to learn that there are, others who are, different than them?  Points to consider, when selecting what sort of schools to place your children in, private, public, etc., etc., etc., translated…

I’d seen on T.V. that there were Chinese rich parents who’d, thrown down wads of cash to celebrate their children’s birthdays, turning the girls into, princesses, the boys, into, princes, with the parents, dressed up to the nines, surprising all the guests who were, invited.  From before, I’d seen on the news, that a seven-year-old Filipino girl, dressed in that custom-made present, with a crown on her head, with the full-service banquets, and fireworks on display.

There are friends in my circle, who, for the sake of their children’s, “only childhoods”, wrecked their brains on the celebration means every year, put on that large party for them.  Other than inviting the kids’ friends, also, showed everybody else, how they’d, cherished, the only childhoods of their own, young.

Actually, every moment of life is the only, childhood is deemed as innocent, naïve, and only happens once, but, when did these, childhood birthday parties came into being in Taiwan?

I was just past forty, recalled how there was the McDonald’s commercials on T.V.  Back then, the shop was up to rent, and the character will bring tons of presents to the child, with the burgers, fries, the cokes, the happy meals.

illustration from UDN.com

昂貴的小孩。圖/想樂

That was in the eighties, a lot of the parents had, weathered through the poverties of post-war, and, as the U.S. gave the aids, the economy started, looking, up.  The government encouraged selling the items internationally, and, gave us the newer concepts of childrearing too.  The older generations will never host these grand celebrations for their kids on their birthdays, but the American ways believed, that we need to, toss down a whole lot of money on the kids, not expecting, nor demanding anything in return, and this concept had, rooted, downward in us.

And yet, based off of the economics sociologist, Zelizer, “Pricing the Priceless Child”, we can find, that the children now are seen, as, “little angels” and viewed as, “idols” in their existence, naïve, with complete dependence, this is, unique to modern day society only.

From a study of a sample of thirty families in Los Angeles, no single child would take responsibilities on her/his own for the family’s chores.  Normally, the parents had to plead, and ask (and usually failed at), but in the end, the parents can only, start doing all these chores like the maids do.  Modern day society, like the anthropologist, Tam Ramsay stated, “infants rule”, the children didn’t have any freedom, but they could, get whatever they wanted, they asked, of their, parents, without, any of the, related responsibilities.

In “Anthropology of Childhood” there are massive amounts of data collected which showed that we are now, living in a world where, “Children ranked supreme”, believing in their innocence, encouraging the younger generations to express themselves, and, do our bests, to, satisfy all their needs and wants, and this reflected on the collective society’s ideals of the natures of innocence of young children.  And besides, this society became, the projections of individual families’ tastes and value systems, becoming, a duplicate of the caste systems, and makes the gaps between the varied levels of socioeconomic statuses hard to understand one another, with the difficulties of, communicating with each other.

My son is in the first-grade now, I’d originally wanted to send him to private school, but thinking back to my own younger years, being enrolled in the nearby public elementary schools, he will get a chance to encounter children from various socioeconomic statuses, various backgrounds too, that was, what I believe to be, “normal” experiences for a child, to help him adapt and live along with people of an assortment of, backgrounds, to understand each of his classmates’ personality traits, likes, and dislikes, instead of getting to know his classmates, by how much money their families have.

And so, this, is on the socialization of the child, do we want our kids to be elites, is that why we’re, placing them in those, high-end, higher-quality, private schools from preschool on up, by making sure, that they excelled in the academia, or, do we want them to, get interactive, with, an assortments of, various children from the varied backgrounds, from blue collar families, to white collar families, that, is the question to be, considered here.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Child Development/Education of Children, Education, Education Levels, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, The Education of Children

Elders Whom Everybody Likes Being Close to

How these two elderly women are role models for us all, not just in their abilities to stay health, but on the positive attitude they take, toward growing older, and living, their lives, to the fullest…translated…

With the advancements of medicine, becoming an elderly person, is the future for us all, but, it’s a lesson, to learn how, to be, a cute elderly person.

There were two role models, of what elderly persons should be like.  Grandma Wang, I’d met through the volunteer program at school, at age seventy-six, she’s, graceful, and, dressed in a way, that’s, visually, appeasing.  After her move from her old home in Chiayi to Taipei, she’d gone to the local elementary school, to inquire if there’s a need for volunteer, and she’d started working, as a “story grandma”.

Some of the stories that Grandma Wang told the students are from the illustrated books, children’s books, and, some stories, were from her own travels, that she’d, changed the parts to.  With the lessons, Grandma Wang would bring her own homemade props, for instance, on the story of the Pygmalion, she’d started, playing the role of the female lead, handed the flowers one by one to the children, with the rise and falls of her voice, it’d, captured the children’s, attention.  Every time she’d walked down the streets, the children would greet her eagerly, “Grandma Wang!”

She also volunteers as the morning homework helper, four days a week, she’d, tutored two children who needed the extra help time.  Other than volunteering, she’s also, actively involved in the community choir too, doing yoga at the gym, to train her muscles, she’d managed to keep her body fit.

staying active in the elderly years…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

Another Grandma Lee, was an elder I’d met when I volunteered to the home visits, Grandma Lee was with a straight back, and you can’t see that she’s, already, ninety.  Her son lives out of country, her daughter lives in Kaohsiung, and often comes up north to visit her.  Grandma Lee had been volunteering at the hospital for thirty years on end, and recently, she’d, stepped down.  She’d gone to the parks early in the morn every day for tai-chi, and had brunches with her fellow martial artists, and, once a week, she’d gone to volunteer at the local borough’s office, and would arrange her time once a year, to go to the hospitals or the nursing homes with the Tai-Chi instructor to teach everybody some simple moves the residents can do to keep up with their physical wellbeing.

And, these two beautiful elderly women had a couple of things in common: first, they’re very physically healthy, with the regular routines for their workouts.  Secondly, both are involved in volunteer work, the embodiments of happy in helping others.  Thirdly, they’re, actively, interactive with their external social environments, not fallen off the connections with society.  I want to take after them, to become, a warm, an elder whom everybody wants to be close to.

And so, these two elderly women are, amazing role models indeed, they are very active, they kept up with their health, exercised regularly, and, found the time, to give back to the community, which is what probably helped them stay youthful, and they’re, role models for all of us indeed!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Expectations, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization

The Greetings from the Children, it’s the Invitations of Their, Trust

The kid: why should I say hello?  The adults: because WE say so!!!  And that, is the wrong way, to socialize your children!  Translated…

During the New Year’s, a group of relatives gathered, in my memories, I’d always, become, fearful and nervous over this.  As a young girl, I didn’t take to strangers, and hated the loudness, and, as the adults started showing me too much attention, it’d, made me feel, uncomfortable.

The elders who’d come to visit, they’re all, mostly, strangers to me, and whilst I was still, in a daze, my father would pull me over, and urged me, “say hi to your elders”.  And yet, before I could react to the atmosphere that’s, gaining the momentum, couldn’t catch up to the paces of how my father and the adults were interacting, I’d gotten their words of displease.

I was too young to tell the adults, and can only, keep everything I feel inside, allowing it to accumulate, and, “greeting others”, “saying hi” became dreadful, instead of something I enjoyed doing, but “something I had to do!”

Time flew, I’d become, an “aunt”, and I’d found, that I was, really sensitive, like those adults were in my childhood, when the children didn’t greet me.  I’d found, that accumulated over the years anger, displease, upset, with the endless questioning of why when the adults tell us to, we need to do it, and now, their grandkids didn’t have to greet me, and they’d not, gotten, scolded, and were, tolerated?

查看來源圖片
a child who’s shy around strangers…this would be, difficult for them to cope, having them greet your adult friends and distant relatives…photo from online

Time is a good medicine, made our life experience, into wisdom.  I’d started to understand, that the older generations may carry with them that sense of lack of security, and needed to gain their sense of self-worth, sense of authority from without, and used “being greeted”, to satisfy their own needs of, being noted as someone worthy or important.  In the past when I was too young to differentiate, I’d taken it as my responsibilities, the adults’ demands of me, and became, too tried, and filled with anger.  And, as the adults felt upset because I didn’t greet them, it’s their emotions, while my choice related to, “What sort of a person do I choose to be”, finally, I’d, separated the responsibilities now, severed it off, I’d no longer, needed to, be responsible for the other individuals’ feelings, only responsible for my own behaviors, and feelings.

On that day, my younger cousin whom I don’t interact with regularly took his children, boys of age four and six to my house to visit, they’d, stared at me.  My cousin didn’t tell them who I am, nor demanded that they greet me.  I knew, that the kids weren’t familiar with me, that there’s no need to force them to connect.  I’d, called out to them, introduced myself to them as their aunt, continued holding conversations with them, when they got sidetracked and not eaten their meals like they should, I’d, gotten their attention back, and learned that it was my four-year-old nephew’s birthday on the day.

I’d told him, “happy birthday, finish your lunch first, I’ll give you a pudding for your birthday!”, then the child let his guards down, finished up the meal, my six-year-old nephew searched for me, and called out to me, “Aunty, do you want to play the storytelling board games later with us?”, and, I’d spent an afternoon of time in board games with my younger cousin and his family.  As the kids left, they’d not wanted to leave, and, eagerly made a date for our next, game date.

illustration from UDN.com

圖╱Betty est Partout

The kids are so straightforward, son naïve, and the adults needed to, let go of their hearts first, to learn to show cares and concerns toward the children first, to warm up with each other, and, as the emotions became, connected, the kids will trust you, and naturally, they would, interact with you more, and accept you, into their, worlds.

“Greeting”, is no longer something we must do on the holidays, with a little more thought, giving each other a little extra time, it can bring the joys of connections between people, and, what greater joys there are, than when a kid invites you to play the next time?

And so, this adult had, gained the awareness of what she’d hated of what her adult counterparts made her do, to greet everybody who came to the house, and, upon realizing, she’d, not demanded her own nephews to greet her, and this made them more comfortable, and they’d, connected to her more easily, and once the ice was broken, everything flowed, smoothly.

This still just showed, how you parents, should NOT MAKE us, your children greet those adults who are unknown to us, who are, YOUR friends or relatives!

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

Not as Easy as We’d, Imagined

A D.I.Y. fail!  Should’ve called in, the experts that’s for sure!!!  Translated…

That year, the new wash basin that I’d just had installed not a few days ago, due to my mistake, got three cracks on it, but it’s still, usable, and so, I’d not planned to, change it out.  Many years afterwards, I saw my five and two-and-a-half year-old grandsons, tipped their toes, reaching up to the basin to clean their hands, then suddenly, the news of the wash basin exploding that was on the news came to mind, and I’d, suddenly, decided to, get a new one installed.

To make work easier, I’d first gone to the depot, selected a basin that’s similar to the one I had originally in shape, color, style, made of plastic, and, thought to myself, I’d installed the tiles on my own floors, redid my own lanai, how hard can installing a wash basin be?  After I had breakfast, I’d immediately, gotten to it, but, I’d, HIT a DEAD wall then; the screw that originally attached my wash basin to the walls was rusted, and I can’t twist it off, the two of us started, using all our strengths, to try to pry it open, and, after forty minutes, still not budged one bit; it seems, there’s only the way, to SMASH the old basin up.

should’ve just, called in, a professional to do it!

查看來源圖片
photo from online

After we’d, swept up the floor’s worth of, debris, we’d started, tackling that rusty screw, and yet, as we’d, asked all our pliers out to help us, none can make the single screw budge, and so, we’d, started, sawing it off.  My husband found the saw first, then, the two of us took turns, bending our backs over, sawed at it with all our mights, we’d even, taken two rests, then, we finally, unscrewed, these, two screws, loose.

The hole that remained from the screws that were loose, can’t be used anymore, we needed to, drill, other holes.  There’s no drill at home that we can use, my wife went out to buy one.  The hole got made yeah, but I can’t, tighten the screws in completely, turned out, the whole on the right was drilled too deep, and so, we’d, made another new hole next to it, decided, to install that basin in.  And yet, as the screws are about to be placed in, we were shocked, to realizing, that the sizes and types that we bought wasn’t, unified, and so, my wife can only, run out, to get the right screw.

And finally, as all is about to get done, the basin was, too far from the wall, because of how that hole on the left was, deep enough, and we’d had to, pull out the plastic plugs again, then, drilled, deeper in.  But, no matter how my wife pulled at it, the plug simply, wouldn’t, budge, I’d gone closer to look, “You need to whack it, hitting around it a bit, and, it should, loosen up?”, and surely enough, as I’d, whacked at it a couple of times, the plastic plug came out, but, it’s, broken, and so, my wife went out again.

And finally, everything’s set, now, the step by step clean up.  The pipe’s ruptured, I’d needed to, replace the new one, but, I’d, fumbled through FIVE tool boxes that I owned, not a single one that can be used.  Waited until my wife bought the replacement parts, the two of us, with glee, started on, the final step: reattaching the pipe back on, and yet, at this time, I’d found, that there were FOUR holes on the pipe, totally needed to be, replaced, so, my wife went out, again, and bought back a set of shiny brass, P-pipe.

And, as all of this is done, I’d looked at the clock, five o’clock, sharp.  Can’t believe, that this, “simple” changing a wash basin took the two of us, an entire, day!

A lot of things in life, are way HARDER, than you can, ever imagined, like this gig that these two people got into, they should’ve just, called in the professional plumbers, but they didn’t want to waste all that cash, and so, they did it themselves, and, they got it done finally all right, but it took them, a WHOLE, workday, and to think, that had they called in the professionals, it may have been done, in, no more than, thirty minutes, but they wanted to save the money, and they ended up, squandering away the time!

So totally, NOT worth it, is what I say!

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Translated Work

Learning Music After Retirement, & Having Fun Doing it

The importance of how learning is an ongoing process, the need for a hobby to be established after retirement age, translated…

As children grow up, my mother in her sixties decided to pick up on her dreams when she was younger: taking up the music lessons.  She’d not just signed up for the electric piano classes at the community center, she’d, disregarded my father’s objections, signed HIM up for the sax lessons.  Seeing how the two bought their instruments, and as time for the classes came, they’d, rushed out, packed the big and small packs to take along, and naturally, as children, we are, most, supportive of them.

Then ever since as I’d come back home on the weekends or holidays, I’d, heard music, “floating in the air”—for the players of recorder in the music classes, I’m sure, that we can all agree, that the sound that came out as beginners played, isn’t musical.  As the cat heard the music started, sounding off, it’d, scattered away, quick, with that look of, “What did I do to deserve this” on its face.  But, my father has a serious nature, and on occasions, he’d complained about how my mother “made” him go to class, but he’d still, picked up the sax every day and, started from the basics of blowing air between the reeds, making the sounds, and, playing the simple notes, and each practice session runs for over two hours at a time.  To not bug the neighbors, my father would hide inside the bathrooms, shut the doors and the windows as he’d practiced inside the loo.

And my mother, who’d, started all of this, wouldn’t be beaten by my father, she’d taken the piano for several months, and, at her instructors recommendations, she’d started playing the flute.  The sax and the flutes are both woodwind instruments, but, the sax sounded fuller, while the flute sounded, like floating in the air, the two instruments go on and off inside the house, and it’d, made the listeners, uneasy, but the cat didn’t mind, as my mother sat herself down to play, it’d hopped onto my mother’s knees, and, lay down, sometimes, the cat would, stare, deep into my mother’s eyes, like he was enjoying this sound that’s, at the same frequency of his, meowing.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/想樂

As my mother got into playing, she’d, poured her heart and soul into it, and she’d, complained to us on how she’d, hit a fork in her practice sessions.  Until one day, she’d shared with me excitedly, that her high school instructor started playing the flute when she was seventy, and, she’d continued playing, and she’s having a decade recital soon, that she will, follow her teacher’s, lead too, she’d found herself a private lesson instructor, from the pop music, she’d, advanced to the classical.  The teacher was demanding of the aperture, and I’d seen my mother focusing on sticking her tongue out, with her mouth open.

And, after awhile, the cacophony became, less and less, I can already, sit quite, settled in, in the living room, as my mother played the flute, sometimes, I’d, closed my eyes, and imagined the poetic verses as I listened to her play.  While my father favorite tune, “Amazing Grace” started with amazing, and now, there’s, the grace “factor” that’s, included in too.  Being an avid learner, he’d not only satisfied in reading the simplified sheet music, he’d even started, picking up my old sheet music, and learned to read the notes off the staff.

As our family gathered for the New Year’s this year the two of them put on a show, and, gotten a full applause from all around the room.  I can’t help but feel in awe, no matter how old you are when you started pursuing your dreams, it’s never too late.  Your lives are, fulfilled, you can find friends who shared the same interests, and it helps activate your mind, to slow down the process of aging, and it gives you that sense of achievement too.  My mother also testified, that picking up the piano was a breakthrough for her, that was the very first time she’d ever, chosen to take the lessons seriously, and knew, that she could, do it!  As we were growing up, being forced to sit at the piano to play was torture for us, but, as my parents got older, started picking up on the instruments, they’d not only, entertained themselves, but us too!

And so, this, is the right attitude that we should all carry, when we pick up on something, like these two older adults, and, maybe it’s because of their mindsets being, more matured, nobody’s pushing them to learn the musical instruments, they’d picked it up on their own, that was why they’re, able to, play it with so much joy.

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Filed under Because of Love, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Translated Work, Values

What’s the BEST Way, to Let Someone Know, that S/he is, Making You, Uncomfortable???

And I still have to apologize, for being, a bit, BLUNT, ‘cuz sometimes, that’s, the ONLY way to GET the point across, for those who just don’t get it, hello, hello, hello???

What’s the BEST way, to let someone know, that s/he is, making you uncomfortable???  Surely, you can, throw them stupid signals around, hoping that s/he picks up on it, but, chances are, the person is way too mother @#$%ING (maxed out!) retarded to pick that up!

But, I can’t, just say to the guy/woman: hey YO!  BACK OFF!  Can I?  That’s just not, socially, “Acceptable” is it?  Nope!

And yet, there’s, NO easy way, but to just, bluntly, state it ALOUD sometimes, so, stop worrying about how you will make the other person feel (I mean, WHO cares!  And, isn’t how YOU feel more important than how the other person feels???)

That’s, just one of the harder things of being human, I suppose, for SOME of you out there, but not for the QUEEN for, the QUEEN, still SPEAKS her M-I-N-D here, out loud too!!!

Just like Murphy had done, I’d, TELL someone, STRAIGHT up, if s/he is, making ME, uncomfortable, and you should too, otherwise, there will, be those who are out, to take advantage, and by then, you got, NOBODY else to blame, ‘cuz, you’d, ENABLED, the other person’s, improper behaviors…

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Choices, Communications, Coping Mechanisms, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimmi Liao, translated, by me, again………

Even in the Jurassic Age,

Bringing a Bouquet of Flowers to a Date is a Must.

illustration by Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com

圖/幾米

Some things, don’t change, the common courtesies, that first impression that you’d made on someone, and this is still all from, socialization.

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Filed under Expectations, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

Being a “Mom” is Work Too

A-M-E-N, to that, on how the “job” of a mom is, taken for granted, too often in the world today, translated…

What full-time mothers hated hearing is, “You don’t work, do you?”, everybody knows it too, that the job description of “mom” is, multifaceted, numerous tasks, long work hours; and on Mother’s Day, everybody wanted to say, “Mom, you’d, worked, too hard!”, but mostly, people believed, that “mom” is, nothing, more than a role, not a job.

My neighbor’s seven-year-old daughter came over to play, asked me, “Aunty, what’s your job?”, I’d replied, “my job is mom”.  She’d stated, “That’s not a job!”, then I’d, asked her, “Why isn’t it?  I’d done some many things during a day!”, she’d, insisted, “but you don’t make any money, my mom works, and made so much money!  She’s working overtime today!”

Yeah, if I worked as a nanny, in the schools, or the afternoon programs to teach the students, cooked the foods at restaurants, driving a cab to take clients to and from, to the employers’ homes to clean their houses, I would, totally, earn a wage, even, the bonuses, the raises around the holidays, the breaks the days off, and the worker’s insurances too.  But, in my own home, I’d done, just that, no money to be earned, no days off, and I’d often needed, the overtime hours too.  As my child fell ill, I’d needed to stay by his side watch over him day and night; if I caught what my child had, or maybe, I fell ill, or felt tired, I can’t have a day off, nobody’s there, to look after me.  Once I’d stayed with my child at the hospitals, and in a few days, my child recovered, but I’d, started having a fever.  As the doctors came to make the rounds, I’d begged, “I feel achy all over, I can’t take one step, can’t leave my child here and got get treated, can you give me a tab that’ll, help reduce my fever please!”

the job of a housewife…

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and these women aren’t, getting paid, for EACH and EVERY task that they’re, performing around the house either…illustration from online

If I don’t get paid, then, I’m not, working?  What is the definition of, “work”?  I’d looked it up in the dictionary, “Work”: occupation, synonym: labor.  And the definition of “occupation” is: the post or work that an individual has.  Here, it’d not mentioned anything about wages.  In Wikipedia, the definition of “Work” is: occupation; while the definition of “Occupation” is: a day-to-day routine of labor, with the goals of getting paid for your labor.  “Getting paid for labor” meant, a wage, so, Wikipedia believed, that the purpose of work, is, getting that pay, this is also, the majority’s explanation of what “work” entailed.  Then, in the ancient times, before the individuals became masters, what would the work of the apprenticeships be?  And, there’s, the same character in the world, volunteer, and volunteers normally, don’t get, paid either, but it clearly, constitutes as a form of work too, based off of the meanings of the characters taken apart, so, why is it, that staying at home, taking care the children, NOT considered, “work”?  Based off of what I’d already, described, everything I do at home, are all the work deemed as work by societal definition, and, every single task combined, makes into, a whole “job”!  “Homemaking is NOT a job”, “Full-time mothers aren’t working!”, this sort of deeply rooted belief, when will it get, amend3ed?  It’s a wonder, that a lot of moms want to, find alternative work posts, so they don’t get misinterpreted as, “leeches”!

Before my neighbor’s young daughter left my home, I’d told her, “Aunty’s job is being a mom, I’m also, a temporary nanny.  Next time if your mom can’t watch over it, send you over to my house, do tell her, aunty will be charge a hundred dollars an hour.”, that young girl, she’d made a sound with her tongue, then, walked out the door, she’s still fazed at how aunty doesn’t go out to work to make a pay, to play with children at home, and her too.  The next time, if I ask for pay from her “mom with work”, hopefully, she can gain a little more understanding of how, “aunty also works!”

And that is, precisely, how and why these homemakers get taken for granted, because we’re NOT working out of our homes, dressed up in those suits, making a pay check with the dollar amounts, but homemakers ARE working, they’re working 24/7, 365 or 366 days PER year, and, we’re NOT allowed to have any sick days, vacation times, and we’re not making enough for the families in these, dollars and cents?  You’ve got to be, shitting me here, and this is the LACK of respect, that we women get, for staying at home, and working as a HOUSEWIFE, raising up our young, cleaning up the houses, keeping the living environment, clean and tidy, not to mention, getting the groceries, sometimes, we also act as, the makeshift plumber, electrician too!  So show some RESPECT already, huh???

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Filed under Gender Inequality, Gender Roles, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values, Women's Issues

Point of Origin

One small act of kindness, and how it, generates, into, more and more, acts of kindness, affecting the individual on the receiving end of that kindness at first, then, expand outward, into the world, it all starts, with something tiny here!  Translated…

There’s a tiny sea turtle pin that I own, gold in color, about three, to four centimeters in size, it’s normally, kept inside that wooden box by the headboards of my bed, like it was, some sort of an heirloom, only on the special occasions, would I use it.  Because this sea turtle pin gave me the courage, to get up on stage.

Remembering back in college, my appointing professor had me stand in as the announcer of an international conference, to introduce all the sea turtle experts from in and out of the country, one of the lecturer from Hawaii saw that I was nervous, as I’d confirmed with him on the pronunciation of his name, he’d, especially, slowed down his speaking speed, and used the simple words in English, “don’t worry, you will, do well!  You’re still young, there are many more opportunities for you to get on stage in your future!”, then, he’d, handed me, this sea turtle pin, for it to wear it on my coat.

And, can’t imagine, that many years later, I’d, become, a lecturer of advocate of ocean environmental protection, while this lecturer, whom I’d called, “Grandpa Sea Turtle”, he’d become, my friend, and mentor too.  And even now, this sea turtle pin, was not only an item that brought me good luck, it was, also, a reminder.  Reminding me of the truly important things in my life, that the purpose of it all, is to, make someone feel good, comfortable, the kindness too tiny to take a note of, that is, the most, precious, gift we can, give to, one another.

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like this, how an act can create, a huge, ripple! from online

And so, this, is on how someone noted how nervous you were about making the speech, and offered you that peace of mind, to help you relax, and, you’re now, passing this cycle of kindness that was, once, shown to you, because the important thing in life is, making a tiny difference in the lives, of others.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Friendships, Kindness Shown, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Values