Category Archives: Socialization

The Stray Pit Bulls, Getting Tossed Out by Their Owners, Becoming a Matter of Public Safety

How irresponsible these, owners CAN be, and, they’re the ones to blame for it, not these, animals, plus, the pits are, SOCIALIZED to be mean, they weren’t mean in nature, or, do you not know that, about dogs???  Off of the Newspapers, translated…

Too Many Attacks Reported, there is Going to be a Ban in Raising the Pit Bulls, if the Citizens Want to Continue Having Them as Pet, They Will Need to be Registered.  The Animal Protection Groups: Can’t Rely Solely on the Self-Assisted Registrations of the Owners of the Pits, the Government Need to Get More Active on Sending the Entry Level Workers to Investigate

The attacks of the pit bulls are frequently reported now, the Agricultural Committee made its announcements, that starting on March first, there will be a prohibition of raising and importing of pit bulls, and, locally, there came, the wave of, abandoning the pits as pets, the animal protection groups stated, that they’re worried the most of the pit bull puppy mills, they are throwing the dogs away because of the prohibition to have them as pets by the government, that the Central Government can’t rely solely on the owners to register their pits, that it would need to set up the entry level government workers to investigate4, to do a census for the population of the pits, to avoid the pits being, turned out, into strays, causing the problems in public safety.

These past two years, the attacks of the pits came more frequently, the Taidong County’s Agriculture Department found, that the registry of the pits as pets aren’t right, a lot of the people are keeping them as pets without registering, and most of these were kept in the hidden regions of the mountains, currently, they’d estimated, that there are, more than tens of pit bulls that hadn’t been microchipped yet, they’re currently checking the numbers.

A lot of the shelters across the country are taking in the pits that are strays, the Animal Protections Agency of Taoyuan found the mixed pit bulls straying around; after the biting death by the pits in Hsinchu last year, there were more news of the stray pits killing the house cats, etc., etc., etc. which suggested, that the turning the pits out aren’t expected.

The shelter personnel stated, that there are the differences in appearances in the pit bull mixes, and, it would be hard to tell, how, if pit bulls, mixed with another breed constitutes as pits, the Agricultural Committee will set up an AI recognition system, and, photographing the dog, and sending it online, then, the program will tell you if it’s a pit bull or not, but, if this program is precise enough, only time will tell.

The office manager of the animal disease control agency, Peng pointed out, up to January 10th, the shelter took in four pit bulls, two were from Zhudong Township of Jienshih County, two were from Hengshan County and Hukou County, both didn’t have microchips; recently, the large breed strays sightings had been reported, but, it isn’t absolute, that the pits are being turned out onto the streets by their owners.

this is, only, the results

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and we still don’t KNOW what led up to this, if the person provoked the animals, or what, we just see, this man, getting CHEWED, and we automatic believe that the animals are bad for attacking him…photo

Peng said, that the pits are outdoor dogs, if someone has one, the neighbors would definitely know it, and, due to how short-staffed the office is, he’d already notified the local county, city, township offices, asking the local personnel to check to see if the locals are having aggressive animals, or pits, then, after the number is confirmed, then, the office will then set up a roster, and have the workers to visit.

Based off of the mandates by the Agricultural Committee, the owners of pit bulls before March 1st, should register their animals before February 28, 2023, to keep them as pets, if exceeding the period, and the owners were reported, then, the owners will be faced with a fine of $50,000 to $250,000N.T., and the pits will be, confiscated from them.

Peng stated, that if the pits are microchipped, and registered as pets, there’s a fine of anywhere from $3,000N.T. to $15,000N.T., if the animals aren’t neutered or spayed, a fine of $50,000N.T. to $200,000N.T.s., if the dogs aren’t vaccinated with rabies, a fine of $30,000N.T. to $150,000N.T.

The C.E.O. of Animal Protections Agency, Lee told, that it’s difficult to estimate the total population of pits across the entire country, the most worrisome is that the puppy mills of pit bulls, due to the bans, will toss them all out, and once they’d become strays, for the sake of finding things to eat, they will, attack humans, strays, or the house pets.  And because of how strong their jaws are, if there are the attacks, this proves to be a serious matter of public safety, the government should keep the registry of the pit bulls on file, and, punish the owners who don’t take the responsibilities more severely.

And so, this, is how the government’s, tackling THIS problem, and, they’re still, doing it all wrong!  First, they should make sure, that the pit bulls are registered, and if the owners turn them out for whatever reasons, then, the owners gets put into jail, or fined severely for it, then next, comes the training, the socialization of the animals, teaching the owners to be responsible, perhaps, offering the obedience training courses for humans, socialization courses for both dogs and humans, and then, after these animals get resocialized, then, they may be less likely to attack.

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Filed under Life, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Unsafe Neighborhoods

Cheng Who’s Learning to Control His Impulses

The techniques of behavior modification, positive reinforcement, and using the rewards system, it’d worked, in helping this young man to get rid of the unacceptable behaviors, translated…

Through Observations & Beating Around the Bushes, Xiang-Yun Chien Realized, that Reason Why Cheng Did What He Was Doing May Have to Do with His Mother’s Passing, and How He Lacked that Sense of, Security; Cheng was Very Anxious, Bitten All Ten of His Finger Nails to Out-of-Shape……………

Switching Tracks, All Because She Enjoyed Teaching

Everybody who knew the Bo-Ai Development Center of the First Social Welfare Foundation knew that the handmade soaps are a popular item, for the household chores, the essential oil soaps, the transparent soaps, are all good for gift-giving and self-use.  While, the woman who’d led these developmentally delayed youths to make the soaps, is the special eds instructor who’d worked for more than two decades at the Bo-Ai Foundation, Ms. Chien.

Chien majored in visual broadcasting, after she graduated, she’d worked in the related industries, but slowly, found that she was really interested in a career in teaching, so she’d, switched tracks, and started working as an afterschool program instructor.  Later, she’d gone up north to a church sponsored mix-aged development center to work as an early childhood educator, this was the very first encounter she’d ever had with children with Downs’s Syndrome, and she took to them very quickly.  With her getting more and more involved in early childhood education, she’d started wanted to improve her own skillsets, to provide more assistance to the parents and the children.

After hearing of the First Social Welfare’s Special Eds Specialists, Chien in an introduction of a friend, started at the Bo-Ai Development Center, at first, she worked as an educator of an early intervention program, later, she’d started coaching the students who are working with a skillset; as she got the tasks of making the handmade soaps, Chien went around, to learn the skills to make the handmade soaps, and used her visual broadcasting major knowledge on the handmade soaps, with her design, the handmade soaps made by Bo-Ai all had the visually appeasing looks.

But, for Chien, other than taking the students to make the handmade soaps, she’d wanted more to help them live on happy and healthy.  She’d used her heart of caring, concern, tolerance, and warmth to treat all of her pupils, hoping, that with her help, they will, improve their qualities of living standards.

Take Cheng in her class for instance, as he’d started at the center, he was easily worked up, whenever things didn’t go his ways, he’d started, screaming, to express his upset, and he’d also, done things that aren’t, allowed for the classes: taking the fees the class collected for the cleaning up, stashing the money inside the spaces between the trash can and the trash bags in the restrooms, or inside his own shoes, so nobody can find them.

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early intervention programs like this is, absolutely, needed! Photo from online

Through observing him, and beating around the bushes with him, Chien found, that reason why Cheng was misbehaving, may have to do with how his mother died, and how he’d lacked that sense of secure attachment; Cheng was too anxious, bitten down all ten of his fingernails, and, as Chien got closer to him, he’d hug his head tight, and dodged her, like he was, a fearful animal.

To lower Cheng’s sense of alarm, she’d first, accepted, and accompanied him, slowly, build up their, relationship.  Later, Chien started using the “positive reinforcement” techniques with Cheng, every time he’d done something well, she’d immediately, praised him, “Wow, you’re so amazing!  You helped me so much!”, and, as she left the class to go to a meeting, she’d asked Cheng to take care of her belongings, to help him establish that sense of responsibilities that he needed to have, and built up his confidence level, as well as help him feel more secure.  And because of all of her praises, and affirmations of a job well done by her, Cheng became more, and more, stabilized.

Using the Right Means, to Help the Individuals Have a Good Life on Their Own

And yet, Cheng still had a behavior that gives everybody a huge, headache—taking without asking.  Normally, we all know, not to take things that don’t belong to us, even if we want to use the items, we must get consent from the owners of the objects, but, for some of the mentally decapacitated individuals, differentiating between what’s yours and what’s mine, is next to impossible, and, wanting it, so I go and take it is, matter-of-fact to them, even as they’d learned, that this behavior is improper, when they see things that they wanted, it would still be hard, for them to control their, impulses.

In the behavior modifications, there’s an important technique called “environmental control”.  Toward the impulses that Cheng has of taking things without asking permissions, Chien would do her best, to put away everything that may tempt him to take away, to reduce the chances of him taking things without asking, and surely, it’d, made his behaviors improved.  But, every now and then, Chien would left the items out on the tables, to test Cheng, and most of times, he would pass, but, there were, a couple of times he still,, couldn’t, control himself, and so, the scissors would be gone.  And, although she knew, that it was Cheng who took the scissors, but knowing, that it would anger him if she confronted him for it, so, Chien would ask all the students, “what do we do, when the scissors have, disappeared?  We can’t do what we need to do”.  After Cheng heard, he’d told her, “I have some, I’ll bring them tomorrow.”  And the following day, he brought back the scissors, with Chien’s name on it back.  Through small tiny inquiry, Chien knew, that she’d, gotten through to Cheng a little more then!

And, even though all the techniques employed with Cheng all worked so far, Chien still wanted to help him better his life more, by helping him to become more connected to and with, others.  She’d used the positive reinforcement techniques of the “Stickers system”, for instance, if Cheng was able to not get mad, not hit, not take without asking, he could get the points for good behavior for that day, and, as he’d accumulated enough points, he get to trade the points in, for some prizes he wanted from Chien.  All these rewards became Cheng’s goals, and naturally, it’d become, a huge motivation for him to control all his, bad behaviors.

Even though, there are still more problems that he needed to tackle, but Cheng is well on that path to being able to have more impulse control now, and, it’d made us all, who work in the Bo-Ai Center, to see that he will be able to, live on his own, one day in the future.

And so, this place not only gave these special needs students the life skills training, it also teaches them how to adapt to the outside world, so that one day, they may be able to, live in the world outside, and, what this woman did for this young man is, helping him get rid of his unacceptable behaviors using the techniques of positive reinforcement, and the young man trusts his instructor enough, to follow her words too.

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Filed under Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Education, Helping Behaviors, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Education of Children

A Child, Never, Held…

A child, NEVER, held he was, and he’d become, fearful, of acts of, intimacy shown towards him, and yet, he’d, longed for, the intimate connections with, another…

A child, NEVER, held, we were, NEVER held, by our parents, ‘cuz their parents got too busy, making their ends meet, and not hold them either, and so, how the @#$%, can our parents, learn that we, as their young, need to be, held?  They can’t, and, chances are, growing up, not being held enough, we all turn into, nonhuggers ourselves too.

not enough of this in childhood…

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photo from online

A child, NEVER, held, fears that show of, intimacy toward her/him and yet, s/he, longed to, be shown, the sentiments of, that intimate connection with another, and, there’s, NO better way to connect intimately with someone else, through our bodies, is there?  Nope!

And so, this child, NEVER, held, gets, caught, between, the drives of longing to be held, but couldn’t, reach out to get held.  The child becomes, totally, stuck.

A child, NEVER, held, grows up, not knowing, how to, hold, and, just, grabs a hold onto, everything around her/him, fearing, that what s/he loves, will slip, through her/his, grasps, not knowing, that when you hold something (or someone) too tightly, it causes her/him/it to, SUFFOCATE, and whatever that was held too tightly, struggles, to break free…

leading to this…

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photo from online

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Childhood, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization

Immersing Myself in the Word, Every Day

Grateful for the subsection of the UDNPapers, that’s brought us so many knowledge, shared memories, and a ton, of wonderful things, to enrich our daily lives, translated…

I loved reading the subsections of the paper like a book, especially the D2 sections of the UDNPapers, there are the writers from all walks of life that were printed on here, and, an assortment of contents, naturally.  I’d recalled that one time, the editor’s office asked the medical staff members to write the stories of the giant white towers, it’d captivated the readers’ attentions, making us want to read, reread, and reread over, over, and over again.  The “Secret Headquarters of the Car Wash” that got started this year is also, attention-catching, the writer can tell how the owners of the cars he’d washed and repaired lived from the cars that were dropped off, this was totally, magical to me.

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something to do, EVERY, day…

The other four columns that were also my favorite aside from this one: in “Animals on Stage”, I’d felt the strong emotional connections the writers felt toward the animals they have.  In “A Treasure Map of Memories”, I’d noted the different ways of life the various age groups of people have, and, they’d offered a fun comparison to my own life experiences.  And I’d loved the seasonal writers who’d written for the Youth Column, they’d used their words, recorded down the lives in their own separate professions, although these are smaller in sizes, but, covering a wide spectrum of topics, eye opening, truly.  And for the “Topics of Discussion” columns, although these came in smaller passages, they are all, eye-catching.  The same things that’s happened in the lives of various people, produced, different stories, with the different enlightenments from their separate, stories.

That’s how this subsection of the paper works, like a professor with a wide spectrum of knowledge, fulfilling my curiosities every single day, enriching my life, adding more fun to my ordinary days.

I’m grateful for the editor of the subsection of the papers, to allow the readers, to read in their, separate corners, to know what’s going on all around us, to get soaked up in the wonders, of interactions of words of exchange.

And so, this, is a sort of a thank you note this writer wrote to the subsection of the papers, and, surely, this subsection of the papers, offered a wide variety of reading materials for those who are interested in finding out new things they want to find out, it has the experiences of others we can borrow from, and, it’s just, an amazing section of the UDN papers here.

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Filed under Creative Writing, Expectations, Fiction Writing, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Socialization, Writing

The Experts: the Psychological Issues Weren’t Resolved, the Primary Suspect May Offend Again

On the male college student who’d endured, police brutality, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The younger generation of a food producing plant, Chang because of a fender bender, beaten the male college student, Song to severely injured, psychiatrists believed, that Chang has records of physical assault, that it may not be related to living under authoritarian parents, or that he was from a single-parent family, the biggest problem lies in that he has poor emotional control, hostility toward others, that there are the hidden negative psychological traits that’s caused him to behave like so; if there’s no resolve to change his lack of emotional control, there’s a high chance that he may well, offend again.

Chang had previous records of traffic violations already, beating on his fellow servicemen; the professor of the counseling department of Changwha Teacher’s College said, there are instances where we may get into conflict with each other, including getting into a wreck with someone, most people will be able to communicate well enough, solve the matter with reasoning.  Chang’s inability to use his words to express, and used his fists and feet, the only way to resolve is by finding the causes of his behaviors, then resolve that cause.

The head of the Changwha Christ Hospital’s Justice Psychiatric Unit, Wang believed, that how the child is disciplined, strict or not, isn’t related to how the person turns into in adulthood, but, if there’s that high pressure environment at home, disciplinarian parenting, lacking in communications, the child will more than likely, duplicate what s/he picked up in childhood, and carry that to interacting with others around her/him.

He told, to see if someone has the risk of violent behaviors, we need to examine if the individual has a history of violence, alcohol or drug addictions, the military is considered a high-tension environment, Chang still behaved violently, and, he suspect that Chang may have antisocial personality traits.

He also believes, that compare to ordinary people, there’s a low rate of violent attacks caused by mental illness, the disciplines of children isn’t reliant solely on the “words”, sometimes, violence IS, violence, not necessarily, psychologically, psychiatrically, related.  Violence has to do with personality traits, the correctional facilities need to intervene professionally with the violent criminals, the medical treatment measures is only part of the equation.

And so, what makes a man violent, his nature or his nurture?  A combination of both?  Or, do we, model the actions of violence, internalize what we watch our adult counterparts do, and then, we act out, and, based off of this case, it’s probably, all of the above!  And it’s still the families’ faults, for not doing RIGHT by their own young, because, the families failed to function right, how the @$#% can you expect the person who came out of this, malfunctioning families, to act right?

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Filed under Abuse, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Nature vs. Nurture, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Lee Set Up the Lost-from-Society League, to Help Change the Unfriendly Atmosphere of the Society, “Stop Seeing Only the Illness & Not the Individuals Who Have it”

The experiences of her bipolar, and how she’d, used her experiences, to help others who are experiencing similar trials in their lives, offering them the support she worked so hard to get, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

When Yun Lee was twenty-one, because she had the self-mutilation wounds on her wrists, her school reported her as “attempted suicide”.  Since that day, she was labeled as “person of interest” by the local offices of sanitations’ system of “suicide watch”.  Lee was placed in psychiatric care, and psychotherapy, but this was, a despairing process of her to experience.

Three years ago, Lee gathered her own journal entries and used the pseudonym “Lin” to publish the book, “Note of Psychological Illnesses”, criticized how the psychiatrists only see the illnesses, and not the patients.  Using a pseudonym, because she didn’t want to announce to the world that she has bipolar, she said, the society expects those “who help others to be mentally stable”, that the notes of her self-mutilating process were nowhere NEAR okay, if she disclosed that she’d had these encounters, it may impact her jobhunting process.

Until two years ago, she’d started writing under her real name.  Because she and other psychiatric patients like her, set up a “Taiwanese Psychologically Ill Association”, a support group from the angle of trauma medicine, to help the voices of the psychologically ill patents get heard, to change the unfriendly system.

“Homosexuals also came out together”, Lee had been out of the closets for many years already, the experience of coming out as a lesbian was from her “Crazy Persons’ Movement”.  She’d called herself “crazy”, and, embraced the blemished identity of being psychologically ill, like how some of the homosexual persons called themselves “queer”.

「精神病手記」的作者李昀一直關注精神病友的權益,也與病友寫信維持情感支持。記者胡經周/攝影
the woman, who wrote the book on her own mental illness, who cares a whole lot of others who’d been diagnosed with a psychological illness like her, replying back to them in letters…photo courtesy of UDN.com

Lee pointed out, the psychologically ill persons’ reasons for not “coming out” is same as the reason why homosexuals couldn’t, worried that they may lose the connection with the “normal” people in the world: “When you’d become nothing in the society you live, this, is how it kills us, not the illnesses themselves.”

The writer, Hsu was thirty years prior to Lee, and back then, the talks of homosexuality, mental illnesses, were even more, tabooed.

Two decades ago, as those who had depression were afraid to go get treated, Lin penned down, “Goodnight, Depression”, to describe his own experiences with depression.  After his book was published, he’d received a ton of reader responses, and showed his passage to the psychiatrist treating her/him, and, another had placed his publication on the nightstands, to remind her/himself, that “I’m not alone.”

In 2009, Lin left his final note on his blog, ignited a discussion on the boards.  Hsu knew, that he didn’t WANT to die, and the reason he’d published that final note was because he was in too much pain, that he couldn’t, take it anymore.  “Maybe, I’m, making an example of myself, to the other people with psychological illnesses, that if you can’t take it, seek out help.”

Writing, showing up, these are, all, signals of S.O.S., a need to be, understood.  Lee often received calls from others with shared experiences as she, “They felt that I understood what they are going through.”  But even IF we have the same diagnosis, that doesn’t mean that I understand what another individual is going through, that I can, empathize with them.  “Every patient is an island”, with varied reasons of what drove us insane, and we are all unique, in the expression of our, insanity, but, “being together is enough, at least, we won’t, feel, so alone in this.”

And so, this points out the importance of having that needed social support when you’re in trouble, but, even if there are supports, people don’t normally seek it out, because, they’re all still, socialized into thinking, that, mental illness is bad, that if I come out of the dark, people won’t understand me, and so, they keep on, suffering on their own, without knowing, that all they need to do is to, reach out, and, help will come to them, and besides, that very first step out, is always, never easy, because you don’t know how the outside world will see you, and nobody wants to be labeled as, CRAZY, so that’s why, all of these sufferings, are going, unnoticed.

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Filed under Life, Mental Health Issues, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization

An Expensive Child

The upbringing of the child, how do we, train our kids, what goals do we want our kids to attain in school, to excel, to become, one of the, elites, placing them in private schools, or, do we, want them to, encounter, people who are like, and unlike themselves, so they can, gain a wider perspective of, the world, to learn that there are, others who are, different than them?  Points to consider, when selecting what sort of schools to place your children in, private, public, etc., etc., etc., translated…

I’d seen on T.V. that there were Chinese rich parents who’d, thrown down wads of cash to celebrate their children’s birthdays, turning the girls into, princesses, the boys, into, princes, with the parents, dressed up to the nines, surprising all the guests who were, invited.  From before, I’d seen on the news, that a seven-year-old Filipino girl, dressed in that custom-made present, with a crown on her head, with the full-service banquets, and fireworks on display.

There are friends in my circle, who, for the sake of their children’s, “only childhoods”, wrecked their brains on the celebration means every year, put on that large party for them.  Other than inviting the kids’ friends, also, showed everybody else, how they’d, cherished, the only childhoods of their own, young.

Actually, every moment of life is the only, childhood is deemed as innocent, naïve, and only happens once, but, when did these, childhood birthday parties came into being in Taiwan?

I was just past forty, recalled how there was the McDonald’s commercials on T.V.  Back then, the shop was up to rent, and the character will bring tons of presents to the child, with the burgers, fries, the cokes, the happy meals.

illustration from UDN.com

昂貴的小孩。圖/想樂

That was in the eighties, a lot of the parents had, weathered through the poverties of post-war, and, as the U.S. gave the aids, the economy started, looking, up.  The government encouraged selling the items internationally, and, gave us the newer concepts of childrearing too.  The older generations will never host these grand celebrations for their kids on their birthdays, but the American ways believed, that we need to, toss down a whole lot of money on the kids, not expecting, nor demanding anything in return, and this concept had, rooted, downward in us.

And yet, based off of the economics sociologist, Zelizer, “Pricing the Priceless Child”, we can find, that the children now are seen, as, “little angels” and viewed as, “idols” in their existence, naïve, with complete dependence, this is, unique to modern day society only.

From a study of a sample of thirty families in Los Angeles, no single child would take responsibilities on her/his own for the family’s chores.  Normally, the parents had to plead, and ask (and usually failed at), but in the end, the parents can only, start doing all these chores like the maids do.  Modern day society, like the anthropologist, Tam Ramsay stated, “infants rule”, the children didn’t have any freedom, but they could, get whatever they wanted, they asked, of their, parents, without, any of the, related responsibilities.

In “Anthropology of Childhood” there are massive amounts of data collected which showed that we are now, living in a world where, “Children ranked supreme”, believing in their innocence, encouraging the younger generations to express themselves, and, do our bests, to, satisfy all their needs and wants, and this reflected on the collective society’s ideals of the natures of innocence of young children.  And besides, this society became, the projections of individual families’ tastes and value systems, becoming, a duplicate of the caste systems, and makes the gaps between the varied levels of socioeconomic statuses hard to understand one another, with the difficulties of, communicating with each other.

My son is in the first-grade now, I’d originally wanted to send him to private school, but thinking back to my own younger years, being enrolled in the nearby public elementary schools, he will get a chance to encounter children from various socioeconomic statuses, various backgrounds too, that was, what I believe to be, “normal” experiences for a child, to help him adapt and live along with people of an assortment of, backgrounds, to understand each of his classmates’ personality traits, likes, and dislikes, instead of getting to know his classmates, by how much money their families have.

And so, this, is on the socialization of the child, do we want our kids to be elites, is that why we’re, placing them in those, high-end, higher-quality, private schools from preschool on up, by making sure, that they excelled in the academia, or, do we want them to, get interactive, with, an assortments of, various children from the varied backgrounds, from blue collar families, to white collar families, that, is the question to be, considered here.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Child Development/Education of Children, Education, Education Levels, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, The Education of Children

Elders Whom Everybody Likes Being Close to

How these two elderly women are role models for us all, not just in their abilities to stay health, but on the positive attitude they take, toward growing older, and living, their lives, to the fullest…translated…

With the advancements of medicine, becoming an elderly person, is the future for us all, but, it’s a lesson, to learn how, to be, a cute elderly person.

There were two role models, of what elderly persons should be like.  Grandma Wang, I’d met through the volunteer program at school, at age seventy-six, she’s, graceful, and, dressed in a way, that’s, visually, appeasing.  After her move from her old home in Chiayi to Taipei, she’d gone to the local elementary school, to inquire if there’s a need for volunteer, and she’d started working, as a “story grandma”.

Some of the stories that Grandma Wang told the students are from the illustrated books, children’s books, and, some stories, were from her own travels, that she’d, changed the parts to.  With the lessons, Grandma Wang would bring her own homemade props, for instance, on the story of the Pygmalion, she’d started, playing the role of the female lead, handed the flowers one by one to the children, with the rise and falls of her voice, it’d, captured the children’s, attention.  Every time she’d walked down the streets, the children would greet her eagerly, “Grandma Wang!”

She also volunteers as the morning homework helper, four days a week, she’d, tutored two children who needed the extra help time.  Other than volunteering, she’s also, actively involved in the community choir too, doing yoga at the gym, to train her muscles, she’d managed to keep her body fit.

staying active in the elderly years…

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photo from online

Another Grandma Lee, was an elder I’d met when I volunteered to the home visits, Grandma Lee was with a straight back, and you can’t see that she’s, already, ninety.  Her son lives out of country, her daughter lives in Kaohsiung, and often comes up north to visit her.  Grandma Lee had been volunteering at the hospital for thirty years on end, and recently, she’d, stepped down.  She’d gone to the parks early in the morn every day for tai-chi, and had brunches with her fellow martial artists, and, once a week, she’d gone to volunteer at the local borough’s office, and would arrange her time once a year, to go to the hospitals or the nursing homes with the Tai-Chi instructor to teach everybody some simple moves the residents can do to keep up with their physical wellbeing.

And, these two beautiful elderly women had a couple of things in common: first, they’re very physically healthy, with the regular routines for their workouts.  Secondly, both are involved in volunteer work, the embodiments of happy in helping others.  Thirdly, they’re, actively, interactive with their external social environments, not fallen off the connections with society.  I want to take after them, to become, a warm, an elder whom everybody wants to be close to.

And so, these two elderly women are, amazing role models indeed, they are very active, they kept up with their health, exercised regularly, and, found the time, to give back to the community, which is what probably helped them stay youthful, and they’re, role models for all of us indeed!

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Filed under Aging Gracefully, Expectations, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Old Age, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Socialization

The Greetings from the Children, it’s the Invitations of Their, Trust

The kid: why should I say hello?  The adults: because WE say so!!!  And that, is the wrong way, to socialize your children!  Translated…

During the New Year’s, a group of relatives gathered, in my memories, I’d always, become, fearful and nervous over this.  As a young girl, I didn’t take to strangers, and hated the loudness, and, as the adults started showing me too much attention, it’d, made me feel, uncomfortable.

The elders who’d come to visit, they’re all, mostly, strangers to me, and whilst I was still, in a daze, my father would pull me over, and urged me, “say hi to your elders”.  And yet, before I could react to the atmosphere that’s, gaining the momentum, couldn’t catch up to the paces of how my father and the adults were interacting, I’d gotten their words of displease.

I was too young to tell the adults, and can only, keep everything I feel inside, allowing it to accumulate, and, “greeting others”, “saying hi” became dreadful, instead of something I enjoyed doing, but “something I had to do!”

Time flew, I’d become, an “aunt”, and I’d found, that I was, really sensitive, like those adults were in my childhood, when the children didn’t greet me.  I’d found, that accumulated over the years anger, displease, upset, with the endless questioning of why when the adults tell us to, we need to do it, and now, their grandkids didn’t have to greet me, and they’d not, gotten, scolded, and were, tolerated?

查看來源圖片
a child who’s shy around strangers…this would be, difficult for them to cope, having them greet your adult friends and distant relatives…photo from online

Time is a good medicine, made our life experience, into wisdom.  I’d started to understand, that the older generations may carry with them that sense of lack of security, and needed to gain their sense of self-worth, sense of authority from without, and used “being greeted”, to satisfy their own needs of, being noted as someone worthy or important.  In the past when I was too young to differentiate, I’d taken it as my responsibilities, the adults’ demands of me, and became, too tried, and filled with anger.  And, as the adults felt upset because I didn’t greet them, it’s their emotions, while my choice related to, “What sort of a person do I choose to be”, finally, I’d, separated the responsibilities now, severed it off, I’d no longer, needed to, be responsible for the other individuals’ feelings, only responsible for my own behaviors, and feelings.

On that day, my younger cousin whom I don’t interact with regularly took his children, boys of age four and six to my house to visit, they’d, stared at me.  My cousin didn’t tell them who I am, nor demanded that they greet me.  I knew, that the kids weren’t familiar with me, that there’s no need to force them to connect.  I’d, called out to them, introduced myself to them as their aunt, continued holding conversations with them, when they got sidetracked and not eaten their meals like they should, I’d, gotten their attention back, and learned that it was my four-year-old nephew’s birthday on the day.

I’d told him, “happy birthday, finish your lunch first, I’ll give you a pudding for your birthday!”, then the child let his guards down, finished up the meal, my six-year-old nephew searched for me, and called out to me, “Aunty, do you want to play the storytelling board games later with us?”, and, I’d spent an afternoon of time in board games with my younger cousin and his family.  As the kids left, they’d not wanted to leave, and, eagerly made a date for our next, game date.

illustration from UDN.com

圖╱Betty est Partout

The kids are so straightforward, son naïve, and the adults needed to, let go of their hearts first, to learn to show cares and concerns toward the children first, to warm up with each other, and, as the emotions became, connected, the kids will trust you, and naturally, they would, interact with you more, and accept you, into their, worlds.

“Greeting”, is no longer something we must do on the holidays, with a little more thought, giving each other a little extra time, it can bring the joys of connections between people, and, what greater joys there are, than when a kid invites you to play the next time?

And so, this adult had, gained the awareness of what she’d hated of what her adult counterparts made her do, to greet everybody who came to the house, and, upon realizing, she’d, not demanded her own nephews to greet her, and this made them more comfortable, and they’d, connected to her more easily, and once the ice was broken, everything flowed, smoothly.

This still just showed, how you parents, should NOT MAKE us, your children greet those adults who are unknown to us, who are, YOUR friends or relatives!

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Filed under Bad Parenting Behaviors, Interpersonal Relations, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

Not as Easy as We’d, Imagined

A D.I.Y. fail!  Should’ve called in, the experts that’s for sure!!!  Translated…

That year, the new wash basin that I’d just had installed not a few days ago, due to my mistake, got three cracks on it, but it’s still, usable, and so, I’d not planned to, change it out.  Many years afterwards, I saw my five and two-and-a-half year-old grandsons, tipped their toes, reaching up to the basin to clean their hands, then suddenly, the news of the wash basin exploding that was on the news came to mind, and I’d, suddenly, decided to, get a new one installed.

To make work easier, I’d first gone to the depot, selected a basin that’s similar to the one I had originally in shape, color, style, made of plastic, and, thought to myself, I’d installed the tiles on my own floors, redid my own lanai, how hard can installing a wash basin be?  After I had breakfast, I’d immediately, gotten to it, but, I’d, HIT a DEAD wall then; the screw that originally attached my wash basin to the walls was rusted, and I can’t twist it off, the two of us started, using all our strengths, to try to pry it open, and, after forty minutes, still not budged one bit; it seems, there’s only the way, to SMASH the old basin up.

should’ve just, called in, a professional to do it!

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photo from online

After we’d, swept up the floor’s worth of, debris, we’d started, tackling that rusty screw, and yet, as we’d, asked all our pliers out to help us, none can make the single screw budge, and so, we’d, started, sawing it off.  My husband found the saw first, then, the two of us took turns, bending our backs over, sawed at it with all our mights, we’d even, taken two rests, then, we finally, unscrewed, these, two screws, loose.

The hole that remained from the screws that were loose, can’t be used anymore, we needed to, drill, other holes.  There’s no drill at home that we can use, my wife went out to buy one.  The hole got made yeah, but I can’t, tighten the screws in completely, turned out, the whole on the right was drilled too deep, and so, we’d, made another new hole next to it, decided, to install that basin in.  And yet, as the screws are about to be placed in, we were shocked, to realizing, that the sizes and types that we bought wasn’t, unified, and so, my wife can only, run out, to get the right screw.

And finally, as all is about to get done, the basin was, too far from the wall, because of how that hole on the left was, deep enough, and we’d had to, pull out the plastic plugs again, then, drilled, deeper in.  But, no matter how my wife pulled at it, the plug simply, wouldn’t, budge, I’d gone closer to look, “You need to whack it, hitting around it a bit, and, it should, loosen up?”, and surely enough, as I’d, whacked at it a couple of times, the plastic plug came out, but, it’s, broken, and so, my wife went out again.

And finally, everything’s set, now, the step by step clean up.  The pipe’s ruptured, I’d needed to, replace the new one, but, I’d, fumbled through FIVE tool boxes that I owned, not a single one that can be used.  Waited until my wife bought the replacement parts, the two of us, with glee, started on, the final step: reattaching the pipe back on, and yet, at this time, I’d found, that there were FOUR holes on the pipe, totally needed to be, replaced, so, my wife went out, again, and bought back a set of shiny brass, P-pipe.

And, as all of this is done, I’d looked at the clock, five o’clock, sharp.  Can’t believe, that this, “simple” changing a wash basin took the two of us, an entire, day!

A lot of things in life, are way HARDER, than you can, ever imagined, like this gig that these two people got into, they should’ve just, called in the professional plumbers, but they didn’t want to waste all that cash, and so, they did it themselves, and, they got it done finally all right, but it took them, a WHOLE, workday, and to think, that had they called in the professionals, it may have been done, in, no more than, thirty minutes, but they wanted to save the money, and they ended up, squandering away the time!

So totally, NOT worth it, is what I say!

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Expectations, Lessons, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Translated Work