Category Archives: Socialization

Boundaries

The schemata of how we interpret things, which got exacerbated by what was told to us, adding to the stereotypes, which made us get into the flight mode, translated…

I’d stayed in the third largest city of the U.S., Chicago for a time.

Before I set out, the contacts of University of Chicago notified me, that they’d set me up for the international student dorms, that a lot of the shorter stay exchange students or the scholars all live there, that it’s a, “safe” location.

I couldn’t understand what the man meant “safe”, started guessing at it, was it the earthquakes?  The typhoons?  Or, the threats from the Chinese missiles?  And clearly, it was, NONE of these.

The contact also told me, because I had a mediocre length stay, and it was in the middle of the semester, that if it was during the summer vacations, I could find a room to rent from a student who’d gone home, that it would be cheaper, and closer to the school, that it would be, “safer”.

Another matter of safe and safter, the man kept mentioning the word, “safety”, and it’d made me imagined the gun shooting scenes in the American movies, and I couldn’t help but, trembled, and started wondering on the “difference between safe and safer”, and, with my language barrier, I would have to live at a “safer” location, why would I want to risk being just, “safe”? 

Perhaps, my contact noticed my trouble, he’d immediately told me, “don’t worry!  You live on 59th Street, 59th north up to 49th is all safe, just don’t go over 59th~”

This made me worry even more, south of 59th is dangerous, doesn’t that means, that I live, on the “borders”?  Then, how can I be certain of how what’s “unsafe”, doesn’t break the boundaries?  Or, is the real boundaries of “unsafe” actually on 60th or 61st, 59th could be, farther away, from what’s, “unsafe” then?  But, what is the measurements, the considerations of this, means of, “safety”?

After a long, long ride, close to twenty hours since I’d landed, I’d finally, arrived at the gates of the international student dormitories, it was a road of at least, eight lanes, a freeway with all the cars rushing by, like a river that you can’t see the other side of.  There’s the widened island in the middle of the road, the green trees grew on that island, and I can’t seem to find a pedestrian’s crossing section.  I’d finally understood, the boundaries of “safety” of the 59th then.  I’d thought, what weaves to and from, in and out of this, boundary, perhaps, are nothing more than the pigeons, and the, sparrows.

Every day, I’d trekked to and from the international dorm and the school, and on the weekends, I’d gone to Lake Michigan to stroll.  As it was winter, there’s, nothing but snow on the streets.  And, I’d started, bumping across those riding out on their bicycles or the joggers, those who’d brushed shoulders with me, no matter the skin colors, they all, looked, decent, enough, and clearly, the local residents were with, higher levels of, education, with good jobs, and, so this, is a, “good” district.  I’d always, stared dumbfounded across the other side, looking up at the clouds overhead, imagined what the trees covered up, what’s, on the, other side?

One day, a few of my lab mates were driving out.  All the way, we were all chatty, and getting into good conversations, and then, suddenly, after a turn, everybody fell, silent, and, the streets were, sunken, in the, darkness of the rustiness of the steel, and, even if the colors are painted with brighter colors…………as I saw the faces of those who’d been living in Chicago for long, as a newbie, I’d, come to know, and, started, making myself, scarce in the seats.

At this time, the engine started, making the weird noises.  The driver started, sweating now, the passenger next to the driver, with his eyes opened wide, as if mumbling, “why did you have to turn in here”, and questioning, “did you get this car tuned up on time?”, at the same time, alerted to watch the goings on of the window, with one hand, clenching the handlebar over the window tight.

The engine that sounded like it was dying, was totally a contrast to the hearts beating in the car then, I’d felt heated u, but that cold sweat started, rolling down my spine.  Then, a few more blocks, the car, died.  And the three large guys by the side of the road noticed us, and the driver started getting, panicky, there’s no other pedestrians, no other cars anywhere near us.  The large man moved slowly, the driver quickly pressed the central door lock systems, and we had all, started, hyperventilating, and the driver started the keys in the ignition over, over, and over, I’d squinted my eyes to the lines.  “Could it be that he’s here, to offer us help?”, a thought came to me, but I’d not, dared, blurt it aloud……………

It’s moving, it’s moving, the car is, moving, I’d looked through the rearview, saw the large men spreading their arms out, and, shrugging, away.

Then, I kept on wondering, maybe, they were there, to help us out, it’s just, that invisible border of the stereotypes are like the boundary of the 59th, like that huge gap that none of us can, and were, willing to, cross, to the point that as I’d asked my friends later, if they would, live through it again, will they still have run in a hurry, they’d responded, that they, would.

And so, this is how the stereotypes can get so deep in us, that we get into the mindset of automatically separating people into the categories that we were, socialized to put them in, and that’s just wrong, because if you don’t get to know the individual personally, how can you tell if the person is good, or bad, just based off of their, skin colors?

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Filed under Awareness, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Racial Profiling, Racism, Socialization, Stereotypes, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

My Children’s Act of Kindness Toward a Stranger on the Bus on Our Trip to Japan

The most beautiful sight of a place is still, the people we encounter on our travels, translated…

As we exited the Hiroshima station of the Shinkansen that day, the afternoon from the previous day, our flight landed, with the rainy fronts, that followed us, all the way here, from Kobe.  But as travelers, we have no right to get upset over the weather, our next stop was the Shukkei-en, and we’d still, alighted the bus, and arrived there.

Different than how quiet the nighttime port of Kobe had been, the noontime station at Hiroshima was rowdy and populated, especially, there were so many faces of, foreigners, as a city, known during the war.  We’d followed the signs to before the bus stop, with already a long line before us, as we alighted, we were lucky to find a double-seat, and I’d, sat my children down.

On the way, not very many passengers got off, but there were people who’d climbed onboard along each and every stop, and, the crowd pushed me away from the seats, as we were about to arrive, I’d found that my daughter had my son on her lap, and the two of them leaned in to the windows and chit-chatted in their whispers, and, on the next seat, here was, a young boy, who’s about my son’s age, with blonde hair, blue eyes.  I’d called out to my children that we’re, getting off, the young boy first looked confused, then, seeing my children get up, he’d understood that they were, getting off, and, sat slanted, to allow them to get out.

As I was about to get off, I’d felt that someone grabbed my arm, I’d lifted my eyes, saw this, Caucasian woman, saying thank you to me repeatedly, as a mother, my instinct told me, that this must be that young boy’s mother.  Her thanks came from how my children, as they were sitting on the crowded bus, seeing that young boy get on, and sat together, and gave the boy a seat, so he won’t have to bump on the ride.  I’d returned her smile with my smile, took my children off the bus.  As I turned around to look, the two of them, mother and son sat by the windows, and waved hard to us, “bye-bye!”, and we’d, called back loudly too, knowing, that they can’t hear a thing on that crowded bus.

The rain still continued drizzling down, but it’d not affected the travelers one bit. The three children from two different countries, squished together in that tight seating space, but, the kindness was so wide.  As we’d headed to the Shukkei-en, it’s said that it was a miniature identical-twin of the sights of Xihu, but in my mind, my children already gave me that amazing scene on the bus ride from Hiroshima.

And so, this is the kindness of children working, and, this is the act of kindness from strangers, the children saw the need of that little boy who’s unsteady on the bus, and, gave a seat to him, and this kindness still doesn’t come from nowhere, it comes from the kids, being taught, and watching and modeling after their adults’ behaviors in their daily lives.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Kindness Shown, Life, Modeling Behaviors, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

The Transformation into a Princess

The lesson this father learned, from his baby daughter, who is in her, Queen Elsa stage of life, translated…

I have a four-year-old daughter who loved nothing but skirts, but, in her preschool, for the kids to stay easily managed, and having the agility to do the class activities, the preschool told the students that they can’t wear skirts or dresses to classes, and so, on the weekends and holidays, she’d, made up for it, putting on the skirts, the dresses, to satisfy her own desires of being dolled up like a princess.

Since we received the preowned princess dress from a friend, she’d, found that hidden princess side of her self, even though, she’d not seen any Disney princess films, but through the social networking in her school, she’d become, the master of “Frozen” by Disney, “let it go” became her overly used phrase, and on the weekends, she’d insisted, on becoming Elsa the queen, with that crown on her head, a magic wand in her hand, then, she would allow us to take her out, she’d, put her heart, her soul, her being into this, as a father to her, and a film director, I don’t know how to react to it, and realized, just how, powerful an influence the movie industry has on the people.

I wrecked my mind, do I, allow my daughter to exercise her own free imagination, or to restrict her, to set a right kind of value system for her to follow?

little girls, dressing themselves up as princesses

photo from online

This semester, I’d started teaching a master class, “Writing Scripts for Young Children”, I’d set up the discussion times with my students on the matter of “children” from before.  First, understand the minds of the young children?  How the children’s thought processes worked?  How do they express themselves?  How to get along, communicate, then lastly, what we want to, give to the children?  This order is quite vital, but in the Asian culture, stressing raising outstanding children, we only cared about what we’re, feeding to the children, how to make them absorb what we’re giving to them, to make sure they learned the lessons quickly, and all of the lessons we have to teach all at once?  As for the children’s thoughts, or feelings………we’d ignored, wait until they’re older, then, we tailor to that.

On the weekend, I took my young daughter, dressed up as Queen Elsa to Costco to shop, because of how she’d stood out, the ladies working at the sample tables, and demonstrating the new products all came to say hello.

“Hi, princess”.

“Princess, you are, beautiful!”

“What are you looking to buy today, princess?”

“Are you Princess Elsa?  I saw your movie once!”

All the way, my daughter was very conversational with everybody who’d greeted her, it’s her dad who felt, embarrassed, and boy oh boy, am I glad, that I’d put my mask on.

“Does it bother you, or make you uncomfortable, that you’re getting, everybody’s, attention?”, I’d asked my daughter.

“no.”, she’d responded.

“So, you enjoy all the attention then?” I’d inquired.

“Sure, because they’re giving me compliments, affirming me.”, she’d told me.

Actually, this child of mine, had suppressed her feelings from when she was a young child, refused to express herself, and we’d had to guess what’s on her mind a lot.  It took my wife and I a ton of time, and worked hard with her, for her to finally express her own emotions, to tell her thoughts to us, and now, the results are finally, apparent.

what these, little girls, loved…photo from online

Before we give to the children, and teach them things, we must first, know what they’re thinking, how they’re, feeling; understand, empathize, allowing them to tell us, give the children their own means of expression, to valid what they experience, this is, the core value of writing for children.

Letting the children be themselves, versus training them to be someone else we expect them to become, this is a huge matter for not just the parents, but also, a must-learn lesson for everybody in this world.  I’m too grateful to my princess, teaching her father, the “king”, to learn this, important lesson.

So, the adults learned something from the children here, because there is, a lot to learn from your own kids, but, mostly, you @#$%ING (maxed out!) adults think, that we’re older, therefore, we know more than you do kid, and, we will silence you, because you got nothing important to say, after, we are older, AND wiser, having lived longer.

And yet, there are, a ton of things, that the adults should be learning from their own young, not the other way around, children are, born wise, and then, they grow up, become, stupid adults.

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Filed under Child Development/Education of Children, Imaginative Play, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Socialization, The Doll Corner

What We’re Told Not To Talk About – Christine E. Ray — Brave & Reckless

we liked you better when you were a girl with your mouth muzzled shut by strong adult hands seen but not heard on your scabbed bony knees easily rendered docile compliant we liked you better when you were young held the shared secrets close carried the blame our blame as if it were your own […]

What We’re Told Not To Talk About – Christine E. Ray — Brave & Reckless

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Filed under Cost of Living, Expectations, Gender Inequality, Gender Roles, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Socialization, Stereotypes, Stupidity, Values, Vicious Cycle, Women's Issues

The Young Alien & Mr. Sun

How this young child is, learning about the world, through the inquiries he had for him mommy, on the inquisitive nature so a young child, translated…

Not long ago, my son became a “freshman” of the preschool class of children.  The preschool was in the midst of a field, with the tiny train station, the electric cable cars.

In three months, my son is turning three.  At this age, the children are stubborn, and started exercising their own autonomy, giving the adults, huge, headaches.  Being as young as he, he was, an alien from a different planet, accidentally “landed” into this world of ours, and, everything here, the rules, the orders of how things happen, surely, is totally, unfamiliar, to him, and, toward this, weird and unknown planet he’d, landed on, it must be, unsettling for him, I suppose?  Up to here, I guess, I can, settle myself down, to cope with his, tantrums again, who’d, sometimes smiled, sometimes, acted upset, totally, unreasonable.

how parents can feed to the curiosities of children, starting at a very young age…photo from online

He’d, relied on my words, to get to know this world.  For instance, we park our cars in the parking lot, our car parks in the basement level one of the garage; if we’re to go out on the scooters, he knew, to press the B1 button on the elevator when we get in.  For instance, early in the morn, is when everybody goes out to work, and in the evenings, it’s time for everybody to come home from school and from work too.  Like in the evenings, he’d still wanted to play longer out, then I’d told him, that the skies are getting dark soon, that mommy would get nervous, to ride her scooter home in the darkness.  I’d lifted him, high up, to show him that red sun that’s, half-set not the western skies in the distant mountains, told him: “that’s Mr. Sun, he’s about to get off from work and when he does, the skies will, turn dark!”

And today, I rode out on my bicycle to pick him up.  As I strapped him in, he saw that sun setting by the edge of that distant mountain, he’d pointed to it, stated, “mom look, the sun is about to fall down!”

“Yep, Mr. Sun is about to get off work!  He’s headed home for his supper!”, I’d told him.

He thought a bit, stated, “going to B1?”

I can’t help but smiled.

“Maybe.”

“Does he live in B1?”, my young son pressed.

“Mommy wouldn’t know, does he, live in, B1?”

I pedaled hard, got my bicycle, through the fields, passing through the buildings that grew taller, taller, and taller before us, rode into the darkness, with the neon signs, waking up in the nights.  The night breezes, blew our conversation, far, far, far off into, the distances.

And this is, an ordinary day of after work, of picking your young son to get home, and, in these few short moments from picking him up to arriving home, you two shared the wonderful moments of connecting to one another, and, your son will, keep these memories of his younger years intact, and, he will be, intrigued by the outside world because, you allowed him to inquire, to ask questions he may have regarding his surrounding environment, getting that love of learning about things he never encountered before going inside of him.

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Filed under Lessons, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Socialization

Companionship at Old Age

GET a D-O-G, that’s my ADVICE!!!

Companionship at old age, someone who can, take care of me, as I age, someone with whom, I can, connect with intimate (not SEX!!!), someone with whom I can, share my innermost feelings with, someone who will, accept me for who I am…………

Companionship at old age?  Yeah, be your own companion, because if you can’t even, get alone with yourselves from before, and if you’d, failed to set up that tight-knit connection to your own loved ones, what the #$%@ (maxed!) makes you think, that your next-of-kin will, want to, stay close to you?  After all, it is, too important, that we surround ourselves with those whom we are, related to by blood (our offspring, next-of-kin, relatives, spouse, etc., etc., etc.), right?

how nobody wants to end up with…

living alone, in the, darkness…photo from online

Companionship at old age, very important, because, the lack of socialization, can make your brains deteriorate more quickly, than the original speed that your brains, deteriorate at.  Companionship at old age, not just anybody at random, but those that you cared for, raised when they were children, and, because you’d taken care of them, put clothes on their backs, foods into their stomachs, provided for their school tuitions, there’s, NO reason why they wouldn’t want to be near you, when you’re, old and gray, right???

WRONG! Despite how much you think you’d, given to your children, if you can’t make them feel the love you have for them, who’s to say, that they won’t turn out as ingrate like I became one, huh???

And yes, this is still, from the life and times, of a total INGRATE: ME!!!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Being Alone, Connections, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Karma, Loneliness/Solitude, Messed Up Values, Observations, Old Age, Perspectives, Socialization, Values, Wake Up Calls

Compelled to NEED, My ADHD…

This is still, a, RE-action, to the, adult parents’, “desires” of the child…

I’m compelled to NEED, my ADHD, because, only when I have it, my mom will, shower me with, all the attention, and dad won’t, demand that I make straight A’s.

Compelled to NEED, my ADHD, because we all know, how the world expects less of children with, special needs, and, if I keep on, faking these symptoms, I’ll get off, easy.  Compelled to NEED, my ADHD, it’s the only thing that’s, keeping them from, going AT one another’s throats, because, my ADHD, when it acts up, well, everybody comes to shower me, with, all of their, undivided attention.

Psychologically, I, enjoy the undivided attention, the showers of extravagant gifts if I get a point higher on my school test grades, but that’s all, added extras.  I’m compelled, to NEED my, ADHD, primary because it keeps my parents’ anger off of each other (or they’ll be going AFTER one another throats, and I will surely, end up as, an orphan that’s for sure!), so they can, direct their attention, towards ME.

As I am, the MEDIATOR, had always been, in their, marriage, and, if I don’t’ use this “mental condition” to my ability, then, what good is it???

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Child Development/Education of Children, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Mental Health Issues, Messed Up Values, Overbearing Parents, Psycho Parents, Socialization

The Air, My Friend

On what we surround ourselves, is what our lives, become, the column by Jimmi Liao, translated by me…

Allowing the Flowers to Take Over My Home, Then, there Would be the Visitors of Flowers, the Neighbors of, Flowers too, and, Life Will Become, ever the More, Colorful.

the artwork of Jimmi Liao, off of UDN.com

空氣朋友。(圖/幾米)
We are, the company we keep…

This showed, how we are, interactive, how we’re, involved with our external environment, whether or not we like to admit to it, no matter what, the outside, our externalities, will have an affect on our lives.

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Filed under Creative Writing, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization

The Stray Pit Bulls, Getting Tossed Out by Their Owners, Becoming a Matter of Public Safety

How irresponsible these, owners CAN be, and, they’re the ones to blame for it, not these, animals, plus, the pits are, SOCIALIZED to be mean, they weren’t mean in nature, or, do you not know that, about dogs???  Off of the Newspapers, translated…

Too Many Attacks Reported, there is Going to be a Ban in Raising the Pit Bulls, if the Citizens Want to Continue Having Them as Pet, They Will Need to be Registered.  The Animal Protection Groups: Can’t Rely Solely on the Self-Assisted Registrations of the Owners of the Pits, the Government Need to Get More Active on Sending the Entry Level Workers to Investigate

The attacks of the pit bulls are frequently reported now, the Agricultural Committee made its announcements, that starting on March first, there will be a prohibition of raising and importing of pit bulls, and, locally, there came, the wave of, abandoning the pits as pets, the animal protection groups stated, that they’re worried the most of the pit bull puppy mills, they are throwing the dogs away because of the prohibition to have them as pets by the government, that the Central Government can’t rely solely on the owners to register their pits, that it would need to set up the entry level government workers to investigate4, to do a census for the population of the pits, to avoid the pits being, turned out, into strays, causing the problems in public safety.

These past two years, the attacks of the pits came more frequently, the Taidong County’s Agriculture Department found, that the registry of the pits as pets aren’t right, a lot of the people are keeping them as pets without registering, and most of these were kept in the hidden regions of the mountains, currently, they’d estimated, that there are, more than tens of pit bulls that hadn’t been microchipped yet, they’re currently checking the numbers.

A lot of the shelters across the country are taking in the pits that are strays, the Animal Protections Agency of Taoyuan found the mixed pit bulls straying around; after the biting death by the pits in Hsinchu last year, there were more news of the stray pits killing the house cats, etc., etc., etc. which suggested, that the turning the pits out aren’t expected.

The shelter personnel stated, that there are the differences in appearances in the pit bull mixes, and, it would be hard to tell, how, if pit bulls, mixed with another breed constitutes as pits, the Agricultural Committee will set up an AI recognition system, and, photographing the dog, and sending it online, then, the program will tell you if it’s a pit bull or not, but, if this program is precise enough, only time will tell.

The office manager of the animal disease control agency, Peng pointed out, up to January 10th, the shelter took in four pit bulls, two were from Zhudong Township of Jienshih County, two were from Hengshan County and Hukou County, both didn’t have microchips; recently, the large breed strays sightings had been reported, but, it isn’t absolute, that the pits are being turned out onto the streets by their owners.

this is, only, the results

查看來源圖片
and we still don’t KNOW what led up to this, if the person provoked the animals, or what, we just see, this man, getting CHEWED, and we automatic believe that the animals are bad for attacking him…photo

Peng said, that the pits are outdoor dogs, if someone has one, the neighbors would definitely know it, and, due to how short-staffed the office is, he’d already notified the local county, city, township offices, asking the local personnel to check to see if the locals are having aggressive animals, or pits, then, after the number is confirmed, then, the office will then set up a roster, and have the workers to visit.

Based off of the mandates by the Agricultural Committee, the owners of pit bulls before March 1st, should register their animals before February 28, 2023, to keep them as pets, if exceeding the period, and the owners were reported, then, the owners will be faced with a fine of $50,000 to $250,000N.T., and the pits will be, confiscated from them.

Peng stated, that if the pits are microchipped, and registered as pets, there’s a fine of anywhere from $3,000N.T. to $15,000N.T., if the animals aren’t neutered or spayed, a fine of $50,000N.T. to $200,000N.T.s., if the dogs aren’t vaccinated with rabies, a fine of $30,000N.T. to $150,000N.T.

The C.E.O. of Animal Protections Agency, Lee told, that it’s difficult to estimate the total population of pits across the entire country, the most worrisome is that the puppy mills of pit bulls, due to the bans, will toss them all out, and once they’d become strays, for the sake of finding things to eat, they will, attack humans, strays, or the house pets.  And because of how strong their jaws are, if there are the attacks, this proves to be a serious matter of public safety, the government should keep the registry of the pit bulls on file, and, punish the owners who don’t take the responsibilities more severely.

And so, this, is how the government’s, tackling THIS problem, and, they’re still, doing it all wrong!  First, they should make sure, that the pit bulls are registered, and if the owners turn them out for whatever reasons, then, the owners gets put into jail, or fined severely for it, then next, comes the training, the socialization of the animals, teaching the owners to be responsible, perhaps, offering the obedience training courses for humans, socialization courses for both dogs and humans, and then, after these animals get resocialized, then, they may be less likely to attack.

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Filed under Life, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, Unsafe Neighborhoods

Cheng Who’s Learning to Control His Impulses

The techniques of behavior modification, positive reinforcement, and using the rewards system, it’d worked, in helping this young man to get rid of the unacceptable behaviors, translated…

Through Observations & Beating Around the Bushes, Xiang-Yun Chien Realized, that Reason Why Cheng Did What He Was Doing May Have to Do with His Mother’s Passing, and How He Lacked that Sense of, Security; Cheng was Very Anxious, Bitten All Ten of His Finger Nails to Out-of-Shape……………

Switching Tracks, All Because She Enjoyed Teaching

Everybody who knew the Bo-Ai Development Center of the First Social Welfare Foundation knew that the handmade soaps are a popular item, for the household chores, the essential oil soaps, the transparent soaps, are all good for gift-giving and self-use.  While, the woman who’d led these developmentally delayed youths to make the soaps, is the special eds instructor who’d worked for more than two decades at the Bo-Ai Foundation, Ms. Chien.

Chien majored in visual broadcasting, after she graduated, she’d worked in the related industries, but slowly, found that she was really interested in a career in teaching, so she’d, switched tracks, and started working as an afterschool program instructor.  Later, she’d gone up north to a church sponsored mix-aged development center to work as an early childhood educator, this was the very first encounter she’d ever had with children with Downs’s Syndrome, and she took to them very quickly.  With her getting more and more involved in early childhood education, she’d started wanted to improve her own skillsets, to provide more assistance to the parents and the children.

After hearing of the First Social Welfare’s Special Eds Specialists, Chien in an introduction of a friend, started at the Bo-Ai Development Center, at first, she worked as an educator of an early intervention program, later, she’d started coaching the students who are working with a skillset; as she got the tasks of making the handmade soaps, Chien went around, to learn the skills to make the handmade soaps, and used her visual broadcasting major knowledge on the handmade soaps, with her design, the handmade soaps made by Bo-Ai all had the visually appeasing looks.

But, for Chien, other than taking the students to make the handmade soaps, she’d wanted more to help them live on happy and healthy.  She’d used her heart of caring, concern, tolerance, and warmth to treat all of her pupils, hoping, that with her help, they will, improve their qualities of living standards.

Take Cheng in her class for instance, as he’d started at the center, he was easily worked up, whenever things didn’t go his ways, he’d started, screaming, to express his upset, and he’d also, done things that aren’t, allowed for the classes: taking the fees the class collected for the cleaning up, stashing the money inside the spaces between the trash can and the trash bags in the restrooms, or inside his own shoes, so nobody can find them.

查看來源圖片
early intervention programs like this is, absolutely, needed! Photo from online

Through observing him, and beating around the bushes with him, Chien found, that reason why Cheng was misbehaving, may have to do with how his mother died, and how he’d lacked that sense of secure attachment; Cheng was too anxious, bitten down all ten of his fingernails, and, as Chien got closer to him, he’d hug his head tight, and dodged her, like he was, a fearful animal.

To lower Cheng’s sense of alarm, she’d first, accepted, and accompanied him, slowly, build up their, relationship.  Later, Chien started using the “positive reinforcement” techniques with Cheng, every time he’d done something well, she’d immediately, praised him, “Wow, you’re so amazing!  You helped me so much!”, and, as she left the class to go to a meeting, she’d asked Cheng to take care of her belongings, to help him establish that sense of responsibilities that he needed to have, and built up his confidence level, as well as help him feel more secure.  And because of all of her praises, and affirmations of a job well done by her, Cheng became more, and more, stabilized.

Using the Right Means, to Help the Individuals Have a Good Life on Their Own

And yet, Cheng still had a behavior that gives everybody a huge, headache—taking without asking.  Normally, we all know, not to take things that don’t belong to us, even if we want to use the items, we must get consent from the owners of the objects, but, for some of the mentally decapacitated individuals, differentiating between what’s yours and what’s mine, is next to impossible, and, wanting it, so I go and take it is, matter-of-fact to them, even as they’d learned, that this behavior is improper, when they see things that they wanted, it would still be hard, for them to control their, impulses.

In the behavior modifications, there’s an important technique called “environmental control”.  Toward the impulses that Cheng has of taking things without asking permissions, Chien would do her best, to put away everything that may tempt him to take away, to reduce the chances of him taking things without asking, and surely, it’d, made his behaviors improved.  But, every now and then, Chien would left the items out on the tables, to test Cheng, and most of times, he would pass, but, there were, a couple of times he still,, couldn’t, control himself, and so, the scissors would be gone.  And, although she knew, that it was Cheng who took the scissors, but knowing, that it would anger him if she confronted him for it, so, Chien would ask all the students, “what do we do, when the scissors have, disappeared?  We can’t do what we need to do”.  After Cheng heard, he’d told her, “I have some, I’ll bring them tomorrow.”  And the following day, he brought back the scissors, with Chien’s name on it back.  Through small tiny inquiry, Chien knew, that she’d, gotten through to Cheng a little more then!

And, even though all the techniques employed with Cheng all worked so far, Chien still wanted to help him better his life more, by helping him to become more connected to and with, others.  She’d used the positive reinforcement techniques of the “Stickers system”, for instance, if Cheng was able to not get mad, not hit, not take without asking, he could get the points for good behavior for that day, and, as he’d accumulated enough points, he get to trade the points in, for some prizes he wanted from Chien.  All these rewards became Cheng’s goals, and naturally, it’d become, a huge motivation for him to control all his, bad behaviors.

Even though, there are still more problems that he needed to tackle, but Cheng is well on that path to being able to have more impulse control now, and, it’d made us all, who work in the Bo-Ai Center, to see that he will be able to, live on his own, one day in the future.

And so, this place not only gave these special needs students the life skills training, it also teaches them how to adapt to the outside world, so that one day, they may be able to, live in the world outside, and, what this woman did for this young man is, helping him get rid of his unacceptable behaviors using the techniques of positive reinforcement, and the young man trusts his instructor enough, to follow her words too.

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Filed under Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Education, Helping Behaviors, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Education of Children