Category Archives: Infidelities/Being Unfaithful

Cheating, Cheating, Cheating, for Reasons, OR for No Apparent Reasons, OR, for NO Reasons at A-L-L

Using Religion as an Excuse, Pulled His Wife Along, with His Arms Around His “Spare”, They’d Gone on a Trip Together

This man has the BALLS, I’ll give you that!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Lu had an affair, he’d even set up so that his wife, and his spare, Hsu and he went together, on a worshipping trip; he’d lied to his wife, that Hsu was a coworker, and lied to Hsu about how his wife was his ex-wife, and, he was able to, get away.  Later on, Lu started becoming suspicious, and, his wife checked his cell, and found, that her husband was having an ongoing affair, and the other woman was pregnant, she sued her husband and Hsu for adultery.

As the Taipei District Attorney’s Office was investigating the details of the cases, Lu paid his wife, and she’d dropped the case against him, and, Hsu was found, to not known about Lu was already married, and yesterday, both of them got the charges dropped against them.

Lu who works in the transportation industry has a son with his wife, during 2013, he’d met Hsu, who was two years older than he, they became a couple; because of Lu’s job, he’d often taken Hsu out on trips, and, because they are both very religious, they’d gone to the temples.

At the start of last year, Lu took his wife and Hsu on a worshipping group trip, Lu lied to his wife about Hsu being his coworker, and his wife believed him, but, after that trip the three of them took together, Lu had found an assortment of excuses, to go to work early and to come home late, his wife realized that something wasn’t quite right, started zooming in on her husband’s whereabouts.

Last August, Lu’s wife snuck into her husband’s text message to his own mother, and it was about how he admitted to having a “spare wheel”, and she’d found another text of Hsu’s words of anger to her husband after they had a fight, it’d mentioned, “These two children are my pains forever, you wouldn’t know”, that, was when Lu’s wife realized, that the “coworker” her husband talks about was actually his whore.

As the D.A. prosecuted the case, Hsu admitted to having sex with Lu, but claimed that she didn’t know he was already married; Lu also told, that he didn’t tell Hsu that he was already married, and so, the D.A. believed, that there was no proof, of Hsu knowing, that Lu was already married.

Yeah, uh, you’ve GOT to be shitting me, right?  What the F***?  And this man still hid behind the BIG shield called “religion”, wow!  And, this still just shows, how BAD they can behave, IF we don’t keep them in check!

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bad Behaviors, Betrayals, Cost of Living, Excuses, Extramarital Affairs, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Issues of the Society, Marriages, Messed Up Values, News Stories, Punishment Doesn't Fit the Crime, Rationalization, Social Issues

Should I Get a Divorce When My Husband Has an Affair?

Marital difficulties here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: L whose marriage is in the MUCK wrote…

Having known her husband for seven years, married for ten, has a daughter and a son, Mrs. L wrote several letters describing how her marriage is sinking: when L was pregnant with her firstborn, her husband became addicted to porn sites, and was about to head off to a motel with an unknown woman, and was stopped dead in his tracks by L.

In the seven years’ time, disregarding L’s words, her husband used the accuse of getting closer to god, became a spokesperson of god, to help others resolve the issues in their lives; and ever since, he’d given less and less time to his families, and, the two of them are slowly drifting apart.

Last November, she’d found out that her husband had an affair with a married female coworker, not only did her husband NOT admit to wrongdoing, instead, he’d blamed her, for not making him happy, causing him to need to find someone else, believed that it was, ALL L’s fault.

During this time, a lot had happened, L told the female coworker’s husband that she was cheating on him, the husband started becoming verbally abusive, and stated that he wanted a divorce; and, L felt, that her husband had become possessed, since he “became” closer to god.

And now what was phasing L was that the in-laws hoped, that they wouldn’t divorce, for the sakes of their young children; but her husband said, that after they’d split, they will each take a child, but, both children wanted to live with L.  Although she has work, however, she’d feared, that after the divorce, her husband won’t pay her alimony, she won’t be able to keep her kids in school, although the counselor had suggested that L gave the custody rights to her husband, but L didn’t want to, and, everything became stagnant.

A My Opinion

I don’t believe, that L really wants a divorce.  In her letter, she talked of how much the Valentine’s Day present her husband gave to her meant so much, that it wasn’t that he went out of his way to buy it, but it was a gift from the company he has business with, and, she is also hesitant, because of the issues of her children.

L can first, think about what’s LEFT in her marriage, half a dinner roll?  Or, just some, breadcrumbs?  Meaning that she needed to figure out, HOW much there is, left in the marriage, WORTH her working hard over?  And, if working hard can really make her marriage improve?  And, what are both of their attitudes?  And their shared beliefs?

Based off of what I’d read, L’s husband is someone who does as he pleases, and, when he’d done wrong, he’d wanted her apologies, and, that, was NOT his first affair either, and clearly, he’d shown, a LACK of self-control, with a total LACK of disrespect for the marriage.  But L must think thoroughly, is she was willing to give her husband another chance?  Or to get divorce, so she could have a brand new life?  If you continue to engage in the silent treatments, you’ll only end up, draining yourselves dry.

And so, for the sakes of her children, and the words of her in-laws, this woman was STUMPED on whether or not she should divorce the husband who cheated on her, and, apparently this woman CARED a LOT about the marriage, and yet, her husband’s behaviors had let her down, time, and time again, and, this, is clear to see, from an outsider’s angle, but, because this woman is involved in the play of things, that, was why she couldn’t see the truth, that, is why she felt troubled…

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Infidelities, Most Likely to Happen, Three Years After the Marriage

From research statistics, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Shu-De Technical University Human Sexuality Department manager, Yen-Ching Lin said, that modern day women are financially independent, have a strong sense of themselves, and, once the quality of their marriage drops, they have a higher chance of having affairs; the Graduate Research Department in its 2010 survey of 400 married women in southern Taiwan, the rate of infidelity was 36.5 percent.  Lin believed, that the statistics for the married women in the central and northern parts would be roughly the same as well.

This study showed, that the partners of the affairs who were friends made up about 44.3 percent, the highest, followed by coworkers, friends from online, exes, and, the time when the affairs are most likely to start would be three years after the marriage.

And on top of that, the results of a survey by the Sexology Research Department before Valentine’s Day showed, that the rate of modern day female college students who had already had sex makes up about 43.5 percent, compared to the 27.3 percent from seventeen years ago, there is a clear increase, the primary reason for this being how open the societies had become.  Lin said, that from the researches conducted abroad, the women who had had sex prior to marriage are more than likely to have extramarital affairs after they are married, and, modern day women are expecting higher quality from their marriages, compared to the last generations, and so, they are bound, by the cultures, to stay in a marriage, so, they’re more than likely to find an exit for their own emotions.

On the males’ front, although the sexology department didn’t conduct such researches, however, on a survey over the subjects of one-night-stands, twenty-five percent of surveyed males are accepting to the idea, thirty-three percent of the subjects HAD experiences with one night stands, and men who wanted to try out one night stands, make up sixty percent.

Lin suggested that couples need to work hard, in making their relationships work, just spend more time with one another, showing cares and concerns for each other often, it shouldn’t be that difficult, to keep happy in the marriage.

So, there you have it, from the lips of the researcher, and, this still just shows, how as we advanced in every single way, our behaviors are falling backwards, and, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you would do it, where’s the moral restraints???

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The Six-Year-Old Daughter Gave Her Mother Away, the DNA Showed, that She Wasn’t His Child at All

Words, out of mouths of babes, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The young daughter of a man, Wu, often spoke of how she has another daddy, last year, Wu took his daughter to get her DNA checked out, and, the child was unrelated to him by blood; he’d recalled how eight to ten months before his daughter was born, his wife who was originally frigid and not sexually turned on at all had asked him to have sex with her multiple times, , it was, to cover up the fact, that she was already pregnant, he’d filed for a law suit.  His ex-wife, who had already agreed to divorce him claimed, that when she was on a business trip, she was knocked out, then raped, and that, was how she got knocked up.  The judge didn’t believe her, mandated that she must pay her ex-husband one million dollars N.T., the case can still be appealed.

Wu’s complaints pointed out, that a decade ago, he’d married, and right after his wife and he were wed, his wife would take several business trips to China, they slowly fell out of love, rarely consummated; a little over seven years ago, his wife gave birth to a daughter, as the child grows up, a lot of his friends and families pointed out, that the child does not look like him at all, and he’d even heard his daughter told that she “has another dad”.

When the child was six, she’d gone on a trip with his wife, after the child came home, she’d told her grandmother, that she had gone to her other dad’s house, that mom took showers, slept, and cooked there, everybody went to McDonald’s, the park, then, to the shopping strip, and that the other “dad” also bought her toys.

Back then, he was starting to get suspicious, at the start of last year, he’d taken his daughter to the hospital for a paternity test, and, the results proved, that she wasn’t his at all, he felt taken, for taking care of someone else’s child for so many years, as he’d grilled his wife, she’d denied having had an affair, he got furious, and filed for a divorce with the courts, and, after the case went to family court, the divorce was granted.

Wu pointed out, that ten to eight months before his daughter was born, his ex-wife had found him to have sex several times, clearly, it was, to cover up her own infidelity; as the case went up to the Taipei District Courts, the ex-wife denied having had an affair, claimed, that because she’d gone on business trips to China a lot back then, she’d needed to drink with the business associates, that she may have been date raped, that, was how she’d gotten pregnant.

The judge believed, that if someone was drugged or raped, the person would be likely to notify the police, or tell it to someone she trusted, a friend, or members of one’s own family, Wu’s ex-wife couldn’t provide witnesses or any evidences, and so, the judge did not take her words for it, believed, that her daughter was conceived from her affair.

And so, that still just shows, that infidelities are NOT a specialty of men, that women can cheat too.

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My Boyfriend Wanted to Accompany His Spare Who Was Diagnosed with Cancer, for the Rest of Her Life

Troubles in love here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. Y wrote…

Ms. Y accidentally found out, that her boyfriend had a spare who was in the terminal stage of cancer, who still treated him real well.  Y confronted her boyfriend, and he’d admitted, that it was originally, just for fun with her, and now, he’d wanted to be a good guy, to accompany beside her, to when she finishes her chemotherapy treatments, and when she’s more stabilized, asked Y to give him more time.  Y didn’t know, if her boyfriend is going to uphold his promise?  Could he manage to, really walk away from her?  She’s now, very confused.

A My Advice

It doesn’t matter who the “spare” is, the truth is that the boyfriend cheated on Y.  Whether it was just for fun, or for real, it’s a question that will come later on, the most important being: the boyfriend HAD cheated on her, and that, IS a FACT.

Then, let’s take a look at what’s happening to the spare.  For the terminal cancer patients, first, they’re looking at lengthening her life for five years; and, anybody could feel pity and compassion to an “opponent” under the conditions.  Whether it’s because the boyfriend is really falling for the spare, or that he felt there to be a moral obligation to be with her, from a rational standpoint, the boyfriend HAD been moved.

After the chemo, the cancer patient has a long way to recovery, and, there might be a miracle too (any normal person would want her to get better, right?), and it may also go the other way.  In other words, Y shouldn’t hope, that the “competition” just dies off quickly (but the truth is that of the two ladies, one must be out of the game, so, it’s possible for a couple to be, Y must feel that sense of guilt, for wanting the “spare” to be eliminated quickly); but from a practical side, Y may not want the other woman to get better (this may be a bit hypocritical), then, what is Y to do?  The worst case scenario is by falling into this HUGE mess that her boyfriend had created for her.

If the spare got better, then, wouldn’t Y have waited dumbly, and wasted a lot of her life away?  If the spare died, then, it would still be hard, for a person who’s alive, to compete with someone who’s dead.  In the man’s mind, he will remember the “spare wheel’s” better days (may feel somewhat sorry too), then, in their daily routines, he would naturally start picking at her.

Plus, men are easily cheating, entirely WITHOUT a CONSCIENCE person, can you believe his lies?

Of course, you can’t, believe in his lies, but, part of you is desperate, to believe, that the reason why he’d stayed close to his spare, because she was diagnosed with cancer, is from the goodness of his heart, yeah right!  It’s just another way a man makes cheating LEGAL is all, so, WAKE up, lady, and DUMP HIS sorry ASS already!

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Cheated After the Engagement, on Relationship

This is because???  You’re about to turn yourselves in, to serve that LIFE sentence, so, before you signed your lives away, you’d gone crazy???  Translated…

My younger sister works for a public office, because how busy she is at work, her social circle is too small, although she’s already older, she is still single, with NO friends from the members of the opposite sex.  Last year, she’d taken a vacation in Europe during her time off, on the trip, she’d met a handsome, gentlemanly, boyfriend who works in trade.

As they returned back home, they’d started dating, became a couple, inseparable, and, all of our friends and families believed, that they were, a match made in heaven.

With everybody giving out the blessings, last year, the two of them were engaged, we believe, that our younger sister is about to put on that white dress, and march down the aisle soon.

But, out of expectation, recently, my younger sister started locking herself up in her room, never went out again, and, she’d started frowning a lot too, like she’d gotten taken or something.

After observing her like this for a couple of days, I’d asked her, “Did something bad happen to you?  Don’t keep it locked up inside, why don’t you tell it to me, you’ll feel a whole lot better.”

At the moment after I’d told her this, her tears slid down her cheeks, she’d cried and told me, “A few days ago, I’d gone to see the flowers bloom, and I’d bumped into my fiancé, with a hottie in his arms, acting so intimate with each other, taking selfies in the blooming flowers.  I’d turned around angrily and came home, and I’d decided, at the moment, to break it off with him, to never see or hear from him again.”

I’d felt much relieved after I heard, thinking, a man who’s unfaithful to love before the marriage, could we expect him to be faithful after the marriage?  Rather than finding out too late, it’s better to know beforehand, and just sever the ties.

Men and women must be careful when dating, because one wrong move, your lives will be filled with regrets forever.

And so, it’s still better to find out, before the two of you tied the knot, because if he’s cheating on you when the two of you were dating, or engaged, imagine how he will still keep to his old ways, after you are wedded, so, it’s better to have your hearts broken now, rather than later, isn’t it?  Sure is!

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The Problem of a Spare for a “Perfect & Happily Married” Couple

In need of marriage counseling here, a Q&A, translated…

Madam L wrote:

She’d been married for twenty-five years, with two sons, she thought that her marriage was perfect, but a decade ago, she felt harassed by a woman’s calls, she’d looked into the matter, and found that she was one of her husband’s female coworker who wasn’t married, the two of them struck up an office affair, but the husband denied it.  This mess continued on for a while, until the other woman got married, then, it’d become settled down.

Six years ago, her husband was diagnosed with cancer, almost died, L took care of him, worked hard, ran around for her husband’s sake.  After the husband was better, he was extremely grateful toward L, and told her that she was his one and only love, and will hold hands with her until the very end.

Without knowing, that awhile ago, she’d found messages texted to and from him and his former lover.  Although L felt hurt, she didn’t blow his covers, just hinted that she knew he was seeing someone on the side, but the husband immediately denied it, said that there’s NO problem with a spare with him.

L said that she and her husband got along quite well, rarely argued, she couldn’t understand why her husband was doing this to her.  L wanted to write to the other woman, tell her, that the affair is known now; also, she’d thought of getting her husband’s eldest sister to help console with him on the matter, but, she didn’t dare make the moves.  Should she keep pretending everything’s okay, or bust the whole thing wide open?  The other woman may have intents to harm her, she wanted to keep guard of her home, and she didn’t know what to do.

A My Advice:

L kept believing, that she has a picture-perfect marriage, and thinks that her husband has great characters, took care of the home, and loved their kids, it’s just that he’s too easily tempted.  And L never thought about getting a divorce, she just wanted to keep her household intact.

L’s husband is pretty mild in temper, but, without the stamina, because L’s putting up with him, and her unwillingness to admit, that he’s cheating on her, so, he’d just keep on, denying his affairs to her.  If L don’t want to go towards divorce, then, stop making trouble for herself, and check her husband’s cell phone.  Whether it be writing that anonymous letter to the spare, or having her husband’s eldest sister to work as the middleman in her confrontations with her husband’s whore, it may break the husband’s bottom line.

I feel, that whether this affair goes BUST would be relying on when the husband of the spare finds out, then, the problems will then, be dealt with, so, L, you’re on your own!

This, is totally taking an EXTREMELY PASSIVE perspective to handling one’s husband’s affair, and, this woman is just too afraid to take action, that, was why this is the way the story is going.

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