Category Archives: Family Matters

My Father-in-Law’s Final Wishes, Finally, Fulfilled

Fulfilling a dream of his late father-in-law, translated…

My father-in-law had always been an enigma to me, he’d never told us anything about his past, we only knew, that he was from a well-rounded family in Shaoxing, Zhejiang, and started working as a sailor when he was only eighteen, nineteen years of age, and followed that merchant ship to Taiwan at age twenty, and, never went back home again.

He had kept the diaries for long, but, never allowed us to read them, he’d told, “I’m not writing a diary, just whatever that came to my mind, I’d jotted it down, if you’re interested about my past, then, you can read it, after I’m a hundred.”  After he’d passed, as I’d helped sorted through his belongings, I’d, read through the more than twenty volumes of diaries my late father-in-law had, kept, mostly were the nitty-gritty of goings on in life, but, there was this, light blue notebook, on the first page, it’d had the historical pickle farm in his ancestral home in Shaoxing, with the names of all of his siblings, and he’d told of how his life in Taiwan wasn’t what he’d expected it to be, but, he’d refused to go back, due to how tough he was.

a notebook like this…

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with everything about his past written down on record by him, for his offspring to find…

Because there’s no record of which pickle farm, we’d searched online, and found there were, several, but, there’s only one farm with the owners being, Chen, “the Chien-Yu Pickle Farm”, and, at its prime, it was, the historical pickle farm in all of China.  At that very moment, I’d, written to the Shaoxing Province connection here in Taiwan, hoped that they can help us find my father-in-law’s ancestral home, at the same time, if there are still living relatives of his there.  Not long thereafter, the letter from the Chinese local governments told us, that my father-in-law’s eldest brother is still alive, but he’s in a vegetative state, bedridden through the ages, and there were, five cousins, and his youngest aunt who’s still living.

At the end of 2011,my wife and I accompanied my mother-in-law to my father-in-law’s place of origin, Shaoxing, at the same time, we’d also gone to visit my wife’s eldest uncle who’s bedridden.  During the visit, my mother-in-law whispered in her eldest brother-in-law’s ears, “I’m the wife of Rong Hong, we had come home to visit you.”, and, everybody who was there, saw that our eldest uncle who’d been in a vegetative state, with tears coming from his eyes.

Two days after we’d returned back to Taiwan, my wife’s older female cousin called to tell, that eldest uncle is gone, that he was in peace when he passed.

And so, this elderly man is, waiting for that word of his loved one who’d come to Taiwan, and, he’d, finally gotten what he was waiting for, as he’d, passed away in peace, and, the family had, helped fulfilled the older generation’s dreams of returning home to visit his own kin.

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Filed under Family Matters, Life, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

A Mother’s Delusions

The lovers, of a, past time, a mother’s interactions with her sons…translated…

My set of, delusions, I suppose, it got started as MERS-CoV started spreading across Taiwan.

“Dad, mom, I will have classes starting tomorrow afternoon, in the morning, I will be picking up my living necessities, are there things you need me to pick up for you, do write it down for me.”  After school started back in February this year, MERS took over the world, and, Taiwan had been tightened on keeping the virus out.  My husband and I are usually busy at work, and my youngest son still stays in school, and, for my son, who’s doing research more than being in the lecturers, naturally, shouldered up the house’s defenses against MERS-CoV.

Remembered, how at first, none of us is familiar with the protocols of the measures.  Every time my husband or I got off work, dragging our steps, set foot into our home, my son could always quickly pick up that spritzer bottle, to sanitize us, and reminded us the steps, the measures to take for our own, protections, until all the details of the steps became routinized.  And we always felt comforted when we saw our son.  When he is energetic, he’d prepared the suppers; when he’s tired, we’d, broiled up some dumplings.  Luckily, he’s more often energetic than he wasn’t, and, most of times, neither one of us is picky with food.

“Mom, don’t worry about it, I’ll take out the leftovers in a bit.  The recycling materials, I’ll sort through them before class tomorrow.”

Often, by the time I got home, the leftover, the recycle materials, are all sorted out, and the clothes hung outside are all, taken in, and folded too, placed inside our room, like how I’d, normally done it.

For me, these simple days are, romantic; being with my family, safe and sound, that is, a huge, blessing.

illustration from UDN.com

身為老媽的癡心妄想。圖/蔡侑玲

After the alerts got elevated in May, school pulled its session, and the offices shut down, my sons and I, stayed at home, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and other household chores, no need to assign anyone to, they all got, done.

It was Father’s Day, the weather is sunny, and the outbreaks slowed down a bit, the family decided to go to the outside of the gym for a five to six laps outside, to allow that sun we hadn’t seen in a long while to shine on us.

Just as usually, we’d started walking, and started chatting, I’d recalled, how it’ll be Chinese Valentine’s in a few more days, I’d blurted out, “boys, you are my lovers from a past life, stay by my side, and don’t get married!”, their father looked at me and smiled, “You have me, an old love, am I not enough for you!”, I’d looked at my lovers, “come on, can’t I just, have some fun here!”, my sons used that exorcist’s gestures, waved over my head, “mom, you can, get back to normal now!”

I think, my sons are, already, used to their mother’s, crazy thoughts and words every now and then.

I knew, that this is, only, a mother’s delusions.  Actually, my sons are just like any children, with their, stubborn sides, had their rebellious stages during their younger years too.  But I’m still, moved by their, many actions often, especially toward me, their mother.

a mother and her sons…

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photo from online

And, it’s no wonder, I would, carry this sort of a, delusion then.

And so, this is, the closeness of a mother and her sons, and, her sons are, very gentle, very kind, caring, and concerned toward their parents, and it’s still due to how connected this family is regularly, because these sorts of interactions, just don’t happen out of the blue one day, they must be set up, and they must become, a sort of a, ritual for everybody to get used to.

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

My Father’s Treasure Chest

What his father, cared the most about in his life, as he’d, finally, discovered, sorting through his father’s, belongings, after he’d, died, translated…

My father has a brown wooden chest stashed away, that squarish appearance, carried that sense of having weathered through a lot, with that old-style iron clad lock on it, I’d watched him from occasions, with that thoughtfulness, opening that chest up, but never knew its, contents, nor did I, dare prod.

My father was originally from Shandong, came with the Nationals, with that thick accent of his.  His voice originally rumbled quite loudly, and as he’d become hard-of-hearing when he aged, he’d, upped his own volume of speaking, like he was, arguing constantly with someone.  As my father passed, I was, sorting through his belongings, found a set of old keys, opened up the chest, and, took a peek, at the secrets my father had, kept, locked inside…………

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a chest like this…photo from online

What I saw were, the neatly, packed, stacked up, envelopes of letters, and the items wrapped neatly, in the plastic bags.  I’d, curiously, taken each and every one out to examine, some of the contents were yellowed, and rotten, with that moldy smell to them, I’d worried I might break it, and I’d, slowed, down my own breaths.

There were, the awards certificates from the services, rolled up or flattened out, of them, the dates had been, blurred, illegible.  There were, the handwritten stories of his life, the letters, a bit, rough, I’d read those, hardened, edgy handwriting, I’d started, crying.  What he’d kept closest, wrapped in that tape, to prevent the humidity from getting in, was a photo of the family of four of us………so, this, is the, ultimate, treasure then.

And so, the treasure his father kept, was the family’s photo, and this still showed how much this man cared about his loved one, how, he’d, taken the energies, to wrap up the photo, and tucked it away, at the bottom most of that, chest he brought over with him with the nationals.

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The Lesson of Respect from a Wooden Keg

A lesson of RESPECT this mother learned, from taking her daughter’s wooden keg to use without permission from her own daughter, translated…

“The availabilities of water for five days, and the other two are unavailable” was on the verge of being implemented, but, I have no idea how much water we use per day at home.  But to not run out, I’d started, emptying out all the containers, pots and wok, to use as the water storage containers, the plastic cases used originally to store our winter clothes, the bucket I use to water the plants, the ironclad pot for the soup……………the volume of the things I could have, are getting smaller and smaller, and I can’t think of anything else to use.

At this time, I saw that wooden keg my daughter bought with a lot of money, to soak her legs with, I’ll just, use that then!  As my daughter came home from work, she saw the water filling up the keg, she’d looked at me upset, told me, “This is now how you use the wooden basin, soaking it up in water, the wood will rot eventually.”

The soaking basin is afraid of water?  It doesn’t fit my logic at all.  My daughter pulled out the evidence from my past—I’d once not used the hinoki keg that’s used for bathing, causing it to stay humid, and eventually, rotting out, and finally, I had to, throw it out.  Yeah, I admit, I am, too careless at times.  And so, I can only, muffle up, and, start, pouring the water into the bottles and jars all around.

And, the next time the water supply was limited, this time, I’d, covered the keg with a huge patch of plastic first, and continued to save up the water for washing up, for flushing the toilets.  But my daughter still, grilled me, “I’d told you, that the wooden keg can’t be immersed in water!”

And I felt furious, of how she’d, used the same reason to grill me, didn’t I wrap the keg in a film of plastic already?  I’d entered into the bathrooms, looked—ahhhhh—I’d, found a bag that’s, with holes in it.  After I’d, gotten the water split into separate containers, by then, my anger was already, overflowing me.

I’d found two plastic bags with the “no-leak” guarantees, wrapped it into the wooden keg, continued to prepare for this third-round of not having water.

“Why don’t you respect me?  It’s MY wooden keg!”, my daughter started crying, and accused me.

how this…taught the woman about respect…

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photo from online

I’d felt upset too, I’d saved up the water in the keg for everybody in the house, I’d already, wrapped it up in a plastic bag that won’t leak, how was that not respecting my daughter’s belongings?  I’d started, getting upset as she too, I’d, given so much to this family already, and my daughter was, even more angered, and more upset, and started, nagging at me, and it seemed, that a war was about to blow between us, mother and daughter, because of a wooden keg.

But, how is a wooden keg, and respect related?  I’d tossed and turned that night, thought, for a long, long, long time, then suddenly, EUREKA!  I’d understood why my daughter was, angered.

In my teens, because my mother rummaged through my room, and read my diaries—even though, I’d not written anything secretive in it, but that sense of not being respected, I just felt, hard-to-swallow—and so, I’d, torn those pages out of my diary, and burned them all, before my mother!  Harsh enough, and now, as that stubborn young lady I was, became a mother, it’d become, my daughter’s turn, to blame ME for not respecting her things.

Being in charge of the household happenings too long, you’d, mistakenly believe, that EVERYTHING in the house was under your jurisdiction.  And yet, every member of the family, all had their own, private things that they kept, and even though they’re, placed at home all around, they’d not, belonged to me, who’s, keeping the household tidy.

So, the keg was bought by my daughter, and, as the weather got cold, I can, enjoy the soaks, but, it didn’t mean, that I can, use it at my will.  Although, my goal in storing the water with it, was to benefit the whole family, but, I’d not, gotten consent from my daughter, the owner of the wooden keg, which caused me to get nagged by her, for not respecting her things

I understood it now!  Thanks to this wooden keg’s reminding me, that no matter how long we live under the same roof together, how close we all are to each other, “Respect” is an absolute, necessity!

And so, this mother learned, this important lesson, just because the keg was there, available, that does NOT mean that she could, use it, she didn’t ask permission from her daughter, because her daughter bought it, and so, naturally, as the daughter saw the mother used the wooden keg to store water, she got angered, and besides, the material of the wood can rot away easily, because of the moistures, and the mother finally, learned, the lesson of RESPECTING her own, daughter’s, belongings, and learned, that even though, they shared the same space of living, it doesn’t mean, that she can have access over everything she found lying around her house, especially those things that aren’t owned by her.

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Filed under Awareness, Family Matters, Lessons, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Properties of Life

Rushing to the Anniversary Supper Date at a Michelin Restaurant

As usual, it’s, Mr. I’m still, arriving LATE, with is wife, Mrs. Yo-I’m starving here!  That totally, unforgettable, anniversary dinner, that you had to, starve yourself for, it’s still, memorable, nonetheless though, isn’t it???  Translated…

On a stormy afternoon before the outbreaks, my husband was driving, we sat in traffic, waiting, anxiously, to get to, that banquet.

Surely, it was, a mostly exciting banquet that I’d, stayed awake through the nights by the computer, from midnight to one in the morn, with my credit card in hand, keyed in the digits, fast as I possibly could, keyed in, a ton of, information that were, required of me, to finally book!

This restaurant was picked, as one of five in the top fifty Michelin restaurant in Asia, with one star, and, I got the rush supper hours of seven at night, to celebrate our, thirty-first anniversary.

something like this, was what she was, expecting…

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photo from online

Thirty-first?  It doesn’t sound like a number worth, mentioning, yeah, only because, that was, from the year before, on our, pearl anniversary, which my husband should’ve, made a super huge deal, but didn’t, as he usually did, rushed off to work, and, got home weakened, and sat at the supper tables, as I’d, made the meals for him.  But, I’d kept, hoping, expecting him to do something special, to invite me out, or even, a bouquet would’ve been nice, and even, just, blurted out those “three little words” would suffice, but in the end, my expectation, fell short, could it be, that he’d, treated me, like a, yellow faced, hag now?  I’d left my home in anger, for————half a kilometer, to WALK it off!  And so naturally, this year, I demanded, a huge makeup for the last year!

As he was finally through with work in the office, close to six o’clock, he’d finally returned, to lift me to the restaurant, being type A, I’d known, that we were, going to be late.  On the way there, my husband became, a bit, flustered, told me, “I’m so sorry, that we have to, rush to, this, dinner date of, ours!”  “oh, don’t worry, drive safe and slower, it’s just, a meal”, I’d, acted, relaxed, and, pressed down on that fire within my chest that was, about to, blow, turned my face outside the window, and started nagging inside, “you’re ALWAYS doing this, when will you set your time in synchrony with my clock, I HATE getting, rushed, don’t know how many cells had died because of this!”

The clock showed seven now, and we’re, still, STUCK in the traffic on the streets of Taipei, and, I’m more than certain, that by the time we get to the restaurant, it’ll, be, the off-hours then.  My husband suddenly turned the steering wheel sharp, my heart twinged, and I’d told him gently, “hey, it’s okay, at most, we just, cancel this dinner date, and go for something else!”, what else, can we, do?

Passing through the larger boulevards, we’d, turned into, the smaller, alleys, there’s, no sign of the shop, it looked like that shop I saw online, I’d, gotten out of his car, rushed inside, “welcome!”, oh, this is it, the crowds were at it, the food served, and the waiter led me to the seating, I became, ill-at-ease, waited for my husband who’s, still, parking the car.

and yet, this was, what she, got…

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are you, FREAKING, kidding me here!!! Photo from online

At after eight, he’d, finally, rushed in, washed his hands, settled himself down, ordered a bottle of sparkling water, lifted up the glass, toasted me, “Happy Anniversary!”, and, down that glass in one gulp, get on with the food orders already, we’re, starving, because for this meal, I’d, skipped, lunch too on the day!

Yeah, and so, that still, takes AWAY, from the romance that should’ve happened, on your wedding anniversary, doesn’t it?  I mean, anniversaries should be (and then again, what would I know here???) roses, champagne, balloons, and a huge celebration, and instead, you had to, rush, because your husband couldn’t get ahead of the time, and that’s, just his “style”, and, it’d, totally, destroyed the mood that you carried, for that special dinner date at the star Michelin restaurant here with your husband.

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Filed under Family Matters, Life, Marriages, Perspectives, Properties of Life

More than a Friend

A friend to her child, that was, what she’d, become, a safe place where her children can go, when they need to go, like her own, mother was, to her, translated…

That day after supper, as I was, clearing off the tables, my nine-year-old daughter suddenly blurted out, “mom, I think, you feel more like, my friend!”, I stopped what I was doing, and, felt the emotions, taking my heart over, only because, I’d not, tried, in any way, to become her friend all these years.

I recalled how it was, when I was, only ten years old, when my mother gave me a small notebook, the sort of an exchange diary kind, with the writing, “mom is willing to be your, best friend”.

Thinking back now, my mother’s behaviors, were, way ahead of the rest in the realms of, education, and to this very day, I still recalled, that when I saw that line on the diary, I’d felt, that corner within my heart, collapsing, that was, once safe and secure.  At ten years of age, I only wanted my mom to be, my mom, not my friend.  But back then, I’d not dared, speak of my worries to her, only because, that crying little girl within me, is since, taken care of, by only, me.

This hurt of my childhood, it’d, made me, kept at the role of a mother, after I have two children, even if I’d, derailed from the normal ways of, behaving every now and then, but I’d, still, insisted on, only being, a mother to my children, because I’m worried over the “mother is the children’s best friend” belief, how it might, make my own children feel, helpless as I did.  Like how I’d felt then, that I couldn’t, understand how my mother was, showing me more respect, and just felt, like she’d, elevated me to her equal, whether or not I was, ready to be, an “adult”.  And, I’d, carried that mind of “no matter how old-school I get called as, I will, always be, just mother to my, children”, on the smaller matters, I’d let them slide, but, firm on the bigger, the more important, things, playing with my kids, but, NEVER tell them, that I shall be, their, friend.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/PPAN

As I finished wiping the tabletops, I’d come back, and half-jokingly asked my daughter, “Do you think I am your friend, because I’d, pulled you, into, watching the soaps with me lately?”, as she’d helped carried up the dishes and bowls, she shook her head said, “I just feel, that you will, listen to me, to tell me those things I wanted to know, and let me tell you what I need to, get off my chest.”

As I’d heard my daughter’s replies, I’d suddenly noted, that the kids are in need of, being, treated as equals, in genuine treatments of them, and honest conversations, so long as, I’m interacting friendly with her young soul, it don’t matter even if I am, in the limited status of a mother, I’d still, made myself as, someone like her friend, making her feel, respected.  And I’d finally, admitted to myself, that I am, on the road set forth by my own mother, only because she was too eager, to get close to me, it’d made me feel I was, abandoned, but actually, she’s, always, my mom.

As I entered into the kitchen, twisted on the knob on the faucet, in the pouring out of the water, I’d lightly told that little girl inside, “hey, don’t cry anymore, your mother had, never treated you like, just, a friend”, just like, I can’t, ever be, my kids’ mother simply either.

And so, this writer’s mother wanted to get closer to her, wanted her to feel safe with her, that’s why she’d told the writer, that she is willing to be, her friend, and the writer, being as young as she was, she’d, misinterpreted her mother, and forced herself, to grow up too fast, because she needed her mother to be her mother, but didn’t know how to tell her mother that, until she became, a mother herself, she’d, realized that her mother was not trying to be her friend, that she was, always, her mother, always giving her emotional support, like she’s doing, for her own young too right now.

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A Family, Together, in the Defense Against MERS-CoV

What the lockdowns made people realize about their family and how they’re, relating and interacting with their, loved ones, something good that came out of the outbreaks of MERS-CoV, I suppose…translated…

Started on May 17th, I’d sent the slips in for my first grade and first year preschool daughters’ for their absences.  And, the following day, the Department of Education quickly announced that school’s out for the whole island, and suddenly, the complaints came from all the parents around; and yet, I’d been fighting one to two since my children were born for more than seven years, this didn’t, faze me one bit.

Other than preparing the three meals regular, clean our home, disinfect everything, sitting with my children as they studied and corrected their assignments, I’d even stood in as the art instructor, the piano tutor, the P.E. coach, the master baker, etc., etc., etc., etc.……………, all of these, seemingly, unnoticeable, real-life experiences all became, too precious to me.

I was once, crushed by the nitty-gritties of every day life, and gotten taken for granted, and I was so angry at my husband and children to the point I wanted to run away from home in the past, and yet, as the outbreaks are hitting us all too hard, I saw, that break of dawn.

Staying safe at home with the children, gone according to schedule in helping them in their studies (photographing all their work, leave the messages on the boards, shooting the videos of doing the assignments, and streaming it online, including the exercise training sessions too), we’d become, comrade in war here!  By the time I got through everything my children needed to get completed for school, it’d, spent up all the time we usually had, for arguing with one another, to the point of how the coaches came up with their own diet plans on the menus, that was when I’d realized, that life in the first-grade, is nothing easy, and so, I’d become, even more tolerant of my eldest, for her, scatterbrain, and given her more encouragements now.

I took the kids to bake the breads, pizzas, help them know the foods we consume, giving my youngest daughter some easy problems she can solve, so she can feel the challenges of school.  We also turned on the Podcasts to learn English, to listen to the stories, watched YouTube to see how the outbreaks are going currently, learned the proper way to wear a mask, along with how COVID-19 can spread, originally, we got ticked off by each other quite a lot, but in the defense against the outbreaks, we’d, stood together on the same side.  What’s magical was, my youngest in her first year of preschool also gained some scientific knowledge, “so or spit can stay for so long, we can’t touch everything now!”  because we are all locked in, we’d found a ton of time to learn on our own at home, and we’d watched the movies after supper, and share the thoughts of what we saw in the movies, then, we’d said goodnight to one another, satisfactorily, our lives are now, simplified, but, quite blissful.

the family is now like this…

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closer to each other than before the outbreaks…photo from online

Even though, there are the leftover housework for tomorrow, the outbreaks that are, making us all on edge, the nitty-gritties of the homework assignments, along with what are we having for our next meals, when we’re still eating this one, but being able to closely, observe our own loved ones, to understand them, to reduce the needs to go out, and our wants in life, it’s a sort of an introspection; grooming thoroughly through how I’m feeling, finding comfort, and soothing that fatigue.  Seeing how bad it is for other countries, we are better able to, cherish the hard work, the kindness of this island.  Seeing how hard the medical care professionals are at work, seeing how we as a people work hard to stop the spread of the virus, seeing the wonderful natures of our own loved ones—because our lives can be gone any second, naturally, we’d, treated them with that gentle kindness.

I’m really grateful for my role as a housewife, everybody keeping one’s own loved ones safe and sound, this is, the best contribution we can, give to the world now.  I’m grateful for COVID-19, even though, I’d wish that you get, eradicated from the planet, but, I’m grateful, that you’d, given the opportunity to be closer to one another, to learn together, to learn to be, more tolerant toward each other.

And so, this, is the lessons from MERS-CoV, and, normally, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn it, because, if the world is “normal”, we wouldn’t have to, lock our selves up in our homes, and maintain that social distance when we go out, but because of the outbreaks, we’re, changing the way we’re, relating to everyone we come into contact with, and because we can’t go out that much (only three times for shopping for groceries now), we learn to, adapt ourselves, to getting along better with our families.

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The Most, Unforgettable, Words

Because you’d, spent some time with your own mother, you have, NO regrets, after she’d, died, translated…

“The North Wind Blow/the Snow Falls/Underneath that Lonely Light/Only My Mother………” that folk song came, from the radio, and it’d, roused up the feelings of missing my own mom, along with our very last, conversation.  The lucid memories are like the wind, taking me, to that old mansion, so suddenly.

It was February that year, the weather, a bit, colder, my father-in-law was in critical condition, hospitalized, and, I had another worry, my mother, who’s not, doing at all, that well.  I’d called home during that time, my mom who’s, weakened was always, too drowsy, only spoke a few short words, then, passed out.

One day I received a call from the hired caretaker, said that my mother’s oxygen level was low in her blood, my heart tightened, and I took the high-speed rail, southbound immediately.

The afternoon sunshine, slanted in to the vacant living room, passed through that long hallway, I’d arrived at the bedroom on the first floor, where my mother was, fast, asleep.  I walked to the bed, saw her slender face, the room was filled with the sound of the blood-oxygen machine and her heavy breathing.

I’d called to her light, “Mom, I’m home!”, she’d opened up her eyes, “Why are you home?  Have you eaten yet?”, then, she told me she wanted to get out of bed, and I’d, helped her onto the wheelchair with the homecare nurse, and took her to the living room.

on her, deathbed…

like this??? Artwork from online

My mother’s weakened body can’t sit up straight, she’d told me weakly, that her mouth tasted, bitter, I told the nurse, to get some plum pieces, that was from two weeks ago when I’d come home, it was my mother’s, favorite.  The nurse broke off a small piece to give to her, she’d looked at the nurse, told, “Give some to second eldest too.”  Her words was this surge of warmth, entered into my body, that was my mother’s love for me, I knew she was sharing it because she loved it so.

Not long thereafter, she’d told us she was short of breath, wanted to return back to bed to lie.  So we’d, wheeled her back to her bedroom, put her to bed, then, she fell into a comatose, slurred her speech, until the end.

As I’d lost my father and my eldest sister, they’d not had the opportunities to have a final word with us, and so, my mother’s, “give a piece to second eldest” became something cherished, it was the love overflowing for me from my mother, and it’s, also, something that was, unforgettable, as I’d, remembered my mother since.

And so, this, is on life and death, of how important it is, to BE with, one’s own parents, of how important those moments that you will NEVER get a chance to live again means, after the loved ones, passed on, to leave, NO words of love unsaid, to have, NO regrets, left behind!

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life

Sharing Underneath the Starry Night Skies

A good way, to put that cadence on the past year, and start off fresh, on a, new note for this year!  Translated…

For the New Year’s in the past, we’d, gone by tradition, passed it day after day, gathered at the round table for the New Year’s Eve meals, gone to the relatives’ to wish everybody there a happy New Year, to the hot tourist attractions to visit……….it’s, a holiday, that “gathered” us all up.

But thinking back, that was, more like a, sort of, formality.  And, the protocol of that was, watching T.V., sliding on our cell phones, or, saying the words that don’t show any, real care or concerns.

illustration that came with this article, courtesy of UDN.com

圖/蛋妹

My ideal New Year’s, is to, REDUCE this sort of a vacant interaction, but with more conversation, communication.  Turn off the T.V., put up those cell phones, on the day like New Year’s, get out of the house, to sort through what’s on our minds.  Go to a place where you see your stars, lifting up your heads, sharing your thoughts with one another.  Everybody sit in a circle with leisure, and take turns, telling about what one gained in this past year, what touched us in the last year, to get rid of those formalities of how we are, supposed to, show our cares and concerns, and truly, listen to what one another is, sharing.  Becoming an audience, also, a part of the group that shared everything.

And so, this, is something that’s, needed, in this day and age, because, we don’t talk with each other in depth regularly, that’s why, we’d become, so, disconnected through the entire year, and, the New Year’s is a good time, to restart that connection, to share with one another, what we’d, endured through during the past year, to find closure to the year before, so we can, start off on another year, on a, clean, slate!

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Filed under Because of Love, Connections, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

To Help Better the Interactions of Parents & Children, the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Foundation Workstation Opened its Workshops

The foundation’s attempts to shift the focus back to parents interacting with their own young, and hope this works…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The joys of becoming parents from the start, may be gone, in the pressures of providing for our own children, the very first friendly space set up by the Taiwanese Fund for Children & Family Org “the Taipei Green Corner Wenshan Parent-Children Workshop” had its grand opening yesterday, differing from the normal services provided in the childcare realms, it’d hoped that through the constant companionships of professionals, it can help the parents and children find a positive way to interact with each other, and strengthens the values of parental education, which hopefully, can reduce the chance of child abuse, and be used as the first line of defense against child abuse.

a play place like this one, where the parents can interact with their own young…photo found online

The Taiwanese Fund for Children & Families pointed out, that every child deserves to be treated well, that the Green Corner Wenshan Close Corner Workshop in Taipei is the very FIRST space that the foundation’s set up that’s parent and children friendly, acting as a companion to all parents.  Using the community as a fall back, of prevention, to help the parents accompany their young to grow up, to show that every child is unique, a different and separate entity from the parents.

The foundation gave the example, the mother, Feng, was once very depressed dealing with her own children’s behaviors, the parent and child conflicted a lot, and through the intervention from the workshop, the mother restructured the way she’d interacted with her own young, and learned to be a more balanced mom, viewed the child’s uniqueness as positive, and the parent-child relationship slowly improved.  Another full-time mother, Jia-Jia has two children, and in the process of caring for her young children, she’d felt alone, and fell into self-doubt, in the social workers of the Wenshan Close Corner, she’d found the meanings to raising her own young, and found the values in herself too.

And so, this is, a necessary service, and thankfully, this not-for-profit organization found a way, to provide it for the parents who feel they’re, all alone on their own, raising their children up, and, parenting skills is a LEARNED behavior, and it’s usually, through experiences, that we will finally, acquire, the right methods to deal with our own young, and this not-for-profit center helps the adults BE better parents to their own young, which is WHAT we’re in need of current day.

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Filed under Connections, Family Matters, Life, Parent-Child Interactions, Parenting/Parenthood, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life