Category Archives: Romance

After You’d Made the Promise, You Won’t be Mine ot Look After Anymore

Is that, a HINT of loss, and, a smidge of empty nest that I’m sensing from you right now???

After you’d made the promise, you won’t be mine to look after, I will be, “handing you over”, to THAT guy, and, despite how he’s so lovey-dovey toward you, I still don’t really trust him, after all, WHICH man would TAKE someone ELSE’s love away, right?

After you’d made the promise, you won’t be mine to look after, and, I must, FORCE, myself to accept that it’s a FACT, that my baby girl is NO longer a baby anymore, but, in my mind, I’ll always and forever, see you as that young child with the pigtails, stumbling up the stairs, and, hollering out to me, for me, to read you just one more bedtime story.

After you’d made the promise, you won’t be mine to care for anymore, god, I HOPE that I’m the VERY last father on this PLANET who will be FORCED, to deal with this feeling, but, I know, that I’m not!

After you made the promise, you won’t be mine to care for anymore, I just hope, that he will love you, like I had, for the last part of your life, cherish my little girl, like I’d done, and now, I’m giving her hand, to you, son, DO take care of her, or ELSE!!!

After you made the promise, you won’t be mine to care for anymore, and, although, there’s this beautiful, intelligent, bright young woman who’s in a wedding gown before me, I still can’t help, but see her, in her pigtails, stumbling………

 

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Empty Nest, Family Matters, Loss, Marriages, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Relationship, Romance, Socialization, Story-Telling

The Boundaries of One Another’s Interactions with Members of the Opposite Sex

Translated…

My coworker showed up at the office with black rings around his eyes, complained how he wasn’t able to sleep last night.  Everybody joked about how he’d gotten to the age where insomnia set in, he’d laughed bitterly, “No, I’d had a fight with my wife.”, they were the model couple, rarely had any disagreements, and so, we were all very curious, as to what had happened.

“It’s all A’s fault, for LINE-ing me, said something that’s a joke, but, I wasn’t close to my phone, and, my wife went to check my phone, as she heard the alert sound, and, her face changed colors.”—heard that it was about A, we could all understand, how bad my coworker’s going to get it, because A loved telling jokes, including the sexist kinds too, and, those who don’t know her personally, can easily, misunderstand her.  Plus A posted her pictures from over a decade ago on LINE, she looked like a hottie, it’s a wonder, that my coworker’s wife got jealous.

My coworker explained to his wife a very long time, but, she’s still very angry.  After he’d made us all laugh, my coworker changed his tone to serious, said, “I’d never known how important I am to my own wife, and this time, it’d shown.  My wife wanted me to empathize, that if it were her, joking, laughing with her male colleagues, would I NOT feel anything?  And her words made me realize that I must, DRAW the boundaries.”

Similar things had happened to me, many, many years ago too, once I’d gotten into conversation with a male coworker, I’d not noticed how husband’s face changed colors.  After a few days of fuming, he’d told me, that I’d chatted with my coworker for too long, and, right then and there, I’d heard what he was actually saying, and, right then and there, I’d played coy with him, “You’re angry?”

“If it were you, wouldn’t you get mad too?”, he’d replied, self-righteously.  And ever since, that ruler from inside my mind was, put to work, until my husband, in order to help a female friend, sort through her emotions, he’d talked with her the entire night, the same topic surfaced.  I’d threw a fit, believed that he couldn’t even make time to hear his own wife out, but made the time to hear someone else.  After we’d both calmed down, we’d set up the rules, then, we’d ceased fire.

The boundaries between men and women are like the lines drawn on the ground with chalk, as you’d stepped on it, over, over and over again, the line will become more and more blurred, if you don’t draw it back on again, then, the line will eventually, cease, to exist.  The preciousness of a husband and wife lies in that they respect one another, and, in current day, when the high-tech products are all over the places, we must be more careful, in how we transmit our messages, until we want some huge tidal waves to attack our ordinary lives.

But, if you ask me, this, is still just two people, PROJECTING their own insecurities onto one another, I mean, I get, that you can get jealous if your wife/husband talked to someone from work so long, but hey, there’s NO point of getting jealous, and, you should just, VOICE out your concerns, at the moment of the incident, to CLEAR up the A-I-R, like the husband and wife here, they’d both held it down for a bit, and, you KNOW how those things have the tendency to ferment, and that, was why, these two instances almost went OUT of control!

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Filed under Being Exposed, Broken Promises, Choices, Communications, Connections, Everyone Else's Fault, Expectations, Gender Roles, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Romance, Saving a Marriage, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Losing isn’t Necessarily Losing

Let’s see how FATE worked ITS magic this time, translated…

Back then, my friend Yun-Ru was making excellent grade in Taipei’s First All-Girls’ High School, to get accepted into a top-notch public university should be no problems for her, but she’d made bad markings on the national college entrance exams, and, got into the nursing department of a certain medical university down south.

Seeing how the rest of her classmates all got into the majors of their choices, other than feeling envious, she couldn’t help cover up her own disappointments toward herself.  And because she didn’t want to put a damper on her parents’ economic stress, after discussing it with her family, she’d decided to not take the exams again, and just went to study in the university in the southern regions of the country.

Maybe, it was the fact, that “affinity can span across the distances”, after she’d gotten into the school, she’d met up with a male classmate from Kaohsiung, they hit it off, and, fell in love, after they’d graduated, they’d married.

The two of them are very much in love, and have two healthy, bouncing little boys, and her in-laws treated her as if she were their own.  Yun-Ru’s husband graduated from the dental department, and now owns and operates a dental office, which a ton of clients, and, Yun-Ru also successfully passed the examinations and became a teacher at a public high school, her life is set, a good marriage, and a wonderful job too.

Other than saying how she must have done something wonderful in a past life, the group of us started understanding in depth, the philosophy of “losing isn’t necessarily losing” at all!

And because, it’s written in her stars, that, is why everything works out, and this woman was kind enough, to not put any economic stress on her own family, which had earned her the blessings later on in her life…

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Filed under Attitude, Expectations, Fate, Life, Marriages, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Romance, Socialization

Sunbathe

Translated…

We placed our trusts in one another’s Facebook, that, is a bright and happy fruit farm, and maybe, there may be shades, but, it’s still, welcoming to all the guests.

Sunbathing together, on the screens, hearing together—the distant keyboard’s grazing the plains.

And tonight, as the rain drops hit my windows, the estranged moose stepped on the lovely imprints, wondering why, at this moment in time, we were only taking a break, but it feels more like an eternity.

This is still very awful, when you need to keep tabs on someone 24/7, and yet, some people out there mistake this sort of bad behavior as L-O-V-E, it’s MORE like codependence, IF you ask me, but hey, who asked Y-O-U, right???  Exactly!!!

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Filed under Connections, Expectations, Facebook, Observations, Romance

Regrets, Sitting, on the “Thrones” of This Marriage

Regrets are now, ruling this marriage of ours!  We looked around, and, pointed fingers at each other, and, out flew, all the nasty words, the accusations of done-me-wrongs, and, we’d ended with, regrets, sitting, on the “thrones” of this marriage, and we became, it’s servants…

Regrets, sitting, on the “thrones” of this marriage, we’d called it our “master”, and we are now, at regret’s beck and call.  Regrets, sitting, on the “thrones” of this marriage, and, it’d ruled, until tomorrow never came for us (and no, we still didn’t die!!!).  Regrets, sitting, on the “thrones” of this marriage, because we’d allowed it to, and, when we’d finally had it all figured out, we wanted to overthrow it, but we couldn’t, because it’d gotten too comfortable, on the throne of this marriage, and it’d become a squatter, refused to leave!

And we had no choice, but to bow down at regrets, (not because we wanted to, but because we had to…) on the thrones of this marriage of ours, and, we’d both wondered what went wrong, and, before we could find the answer to that, this marriage of ours was over, it was, ruined, by the “ruler”, regret………

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Filed under Broken Promises, Downward Spiral, Interactions Shared with the World, Letting Go, Life, Marriages, Romance

She’s Way Out of His League

A Q&A, translated…

Q A pair of worried parents wrote…

Their daughter who graduated college this year, all of a sudden told them, that she fell in love with a man who is nine years her senior in high school, the man was twenty-six then.  And U only graduated from middle school, comes from a single-parent family; his eldest brother is unwed, his second eldest has two children.

After U divorced, his only daughter was in the custody of his ex-wife.  And, the whole family lived off of the shows they’d performed, only U started working odds and ends, to help supply for the family’s expenses.

Their daughter is very into her boyfriend, the mother said that U wasn’t well-educated enough, that he wasn’t from a good enough family, the daughter told her, “a high degree doesn’t mean good character either; nor does it mean, that he’ll be nice to you, to take care of the family, and may not have a steady job.  The boyfriend, U, wasn’t well-educated, sure, but he’s willing to work hard, doesn’t spend carelessly.  As to why he doesn’t have any money saved up?  Because he took care of his family, is a good son, took home ALL of his pay, didn’t keep a cent to himself, would rather have it hard himself, rather than having his mother deal with the hardships of life.  And, it wasn’t his choosing, to be born in such a lousy family, how could he be blamed?”  After knowing each other for so long, U had always been kind toward her, if he didn’t have good intentions, she would totally know, so why wouldn’t the parents let go of their stereotypes, and accept him?

The parents believed, that the daughter is WAY too good for the man, that she’s way out of his league, and that they’re worried, that their daughter might get tricked or scammed by him, because his twenty-six, and she was merely a high school student back then.  Neither wanted to back down, the parents didn’t have any other thoughts, they just wanted to pull their daughter back.

A My Opinion

The reason that the parents were against this, is mostly due to their socioeconomic statuses and level of education, feared that after their daughter married, she will have a TON of hardship to bear.  The problem is, the daughter had set up her mind, “I’m old enough, have my own thoughts, and can make my own decisions.  If he’d lied to me, or treated me wrong, there’s NO way I would stay by him for so long.” My advice, is that the parents should meet the man first, to get to know one another better.  And, even IF they’d met, it still may NOT change their prejudices.  It seems, that the daughter’s persistence is like a carriage with nine horses, pulling outward, and there’s nothing that the parents CAN do, to pull her back for the time being.  And I’m really surprised, as to how come this daughter had been dating U for over seven years, and the parents didn’t know about it, and, in these seven years, they’d already lost the influence over their daughter’s choice.

Change a thought, maybe, just open up about the rules, allow them to date, for another one, to two years on end, and, whether or not she’s way out of his league, so long as your daughter is willing to bear the consequences of her decision, however hard or easy it will be for her, it’s all her choice then.

And so, these parents fell absolutely HELPLESS, over how their daughter was insistent on dating this man, whom they believed, was LOWER in the status quo, than they are.  Well, parents, who the FUCK gave you the right, to judge someone, because he came from a bad family background?  Because you’re way too worried about your own flesh-and-blood’s wellbeing?  Isn’t it more important, that your daughter’s happy with this man, that she loves him, and isn’t it also important, that he treats her kind, takes care of her, even though, he doesn’t have ANY money?  The parents’ values are the ones that needed resetting in this one.

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Filed under Because of Love, Being Alone, Coping Mechanisms, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Expectations, Family Matters, Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Life, Marriages, Maturation, Messed Up Values, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Obstacles in a Relationship, Parent-Child Interactions, Prejudices, Problems with Grown-Ups, Romance, Self-Images, Socialization, Stereotypes, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Stupidity, The Observer Effect, Translated Work, Values, White Picket Fence

No Escape from the Quicksand of Your Love

Your love became a quicksand, and I, its unsuspecting victim, and, once I’d fallen in, there was NO escape for me! No escape from the quicksand of your love, and the harder I’d struggled (b/c I’m panicky, as I’m slowly sinking into the ground), the faster the quicksand enveloped me.

No escape from the quicksand of your love, and there’s simply NO way that it’ll end well for me at all. No escape from the quicksand of your love, thinking back, I was TOO dumb, to have fallen for that oldest trick in the book you’d played on me.  What’s the use?  I’m sinking now, with NO way I’m ever going to survive through this at all!

No escape from the quicksand of your love, so, guess I’ll just, D-I-E then? But, I’m afraid, of getting killed, especially by your love.  No escape from the quicksand of your love, and, my entire life, it just, flashed by, right in front of my eyes, and, I’d cried, as I re-experienced those moment, because I know, that by the time this “film” is over, I’ll be pronounced D-E-A-D.

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Filed under Abuse, Because of Love, Broken Promises, Cause & Effect, Enmeshment, Lives Lost, Loss, Nowhere Is Safe, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Relationship, Romance, Story-Telling, Vicious Cycle, Women's Issues, Wrongful Deaths