Watching her own father, suffering, in this final days, it’d made her realized, how important it is, to set up the D.N.R. for herself, so when the time comes, her own children won’t be tried as hard as she’d been, a lesson learned, from death here, translated…
She stood, at the end of the hospital bed, and, patiently asked the family members’ willingness to place the patient in the hospice program of the hospital. The patient’s wife opened up her eyes wide, and, stared lost, into the distance, the daughter frowned, and the lips that opened and closed, made no word out. She’d understood the hardships, that same expression of not knowing what to do had once, covered her own face from before.
Her father passed four years ago, and before that, he’d been, bedridden for four whole years. As he was diagnosed, she was already, a resident, and has the basic knowledge, awareness of the treatment options of illnesses. Her father didn’t have any other conditions, not at high risk under anesthesia either, she’d seen a lot of cases like his making full recoveries, and thought, that her father was only getting a coronary bypass, and optimistically planned out the care and where her father is to go to after the surgeries, and yet, she’d, never expected, that her father was, that, exception. The day right after the surgery, he’d had a hemorrhage, then, a large area stroke, and in the four years of his bedridden days, he’d started losing his ability for speech, for movement, for food intakes, coughing up phlegm, urinating, and defecating, along with other, bodily functions.
illustration from UDN.com
Although there’s the twenty-four hour care provided by the foreign caretaker, and her mother’s visiting her father at the hospital twice very day, her younger sister’s delivering the filtered juices of fruits, vegetables, the other health products into his feeding tube, but at best, her father’s condition didn’t, worsen.
That final hospital stay had, broken her father down completely, with the series of painful, invasive treatment measures and tests. As the medication and the respirator could, no longer bring his vital signs to stable, she’d gotten a piece of paper, and, started, swaying between her role as a medical professional, and a family to someone who’s, on the verge of dying—as a family member, she’d wanted to do all that she could, for her father to live longer, but as a doctor, she’d known, that all the measures will, become of, no avail.
In the end, she’d, gazed into her father’s, soulless eyes, and knowing that she should, let go. After all, her father was quite understanding, of the family’s unwilling to let him go, held in the pains, the illnesses, and continued living for four years, for the family to finally say their, goodbyes to him, then, they should too, give him, a proper, final, farewell.
After her father passed, the family was, hovered by gloom, and the conversations that pass between her and her family was like caring for that scab that started healing up, with much care, but, as she was, left alone on her own, she couldn’t help, but blamed herself; she’d retracted every single decisions from before, reviewed over every tiny detail, to see if she’d, gone according to her own father’s, wishes, after all, as her father retired, he’d loved, hiking around a lot, collected a house full of, antiques, loving life, and she’d now wondered, the four years of his getting kept in bed, was it, a form of, punishment to him?
Until the gnash had, healed into a scab, did the family sit down to discuss, and slowly, they’d, all gotten through that time of, depression, of gloom. As everything was spoken out into the open, they’d all come to understand, that their father with his optimism would hate to see them in regret, blaming themselves, or getting angry at the situation; while, they’d, selected, on an ordinary afternoon, gone to the hospital, to set up their, do-not resuscitate, to NOT leave the decision-making difficulties behind, for their own, loved ones to handle.
And so, this, is what is taken away, learned, from the death of a loved one, and, there will always be regrets of whether or not we’d done the right things by our loved ones, in these, situation, and all we can do, is live with the choices we made, and this family had learned from losing the father, setting up their separate, D.N.R.’s, so their younger generations won’t be tried as hard as they’d been, with their own father.