Those of you who are currently, TRAPPED in a bad marriage, heed the advice!!! A Q&A, translated…
Q: the fifty-three-year-old, married for thirty-two years, Madam A wrote…
She’d heard her mother, telling her that her father is a bad person since she was very young; and, as a teen, she’d read the romance novels, to chase her own fantasies.
She was married back in ’83, after she was wed, she’d faced with her husband’s abuse of her, she went insane, had mental breakdowns. In 1989, her husband, in front of every member of the family, and their two sons, beaten the SHIT out of her, and yet, it’d taken her TWENTY full years, before she’d decided to SUE him, and asked for a divorce. At first, the husband didn’t want to, later on, after her eldest son begged and pleaded, he’d finally agreed, and yet, the child had a meltdown over it. Ever since, Madam A never dared mentioned divorce again, but, at around that time, her husband told the outside world, that she was mentally insane, causing her own family not to trust in her, other than the coworkers at her school, she has no other friends.
She’d treated the twenty-years’ worth of abuse she’d endured as fate, hoped that her husband and her could work it out for the long run, but, things didn’t go as well as she’d wished, her husband abused his rights as her spouse, whenever she didn’t comply with him, when their son was away, he’d gone to related units and, forced her into the mental hospitals. A had mutilated herself, and wanted to leave this bad marriage, but, what about her sons?
A My Advice
I don’t really know what A meant about “gone insane, mental breakdown” was about. But apparently, her husband’s violence toward her had caused her to break emotionally, psychologically, and physically too; and even IF she’d kept up with the façade of having a good marriage, not daring to cry in front of the kids, from when the children were little, she’d paint it over, hard, telling them, “your dad didn’t meant to beat me intentionally, dad and grandpa, grandma really do love you guys.” But her son had melted down too, begged his father, to agree to A’s divorce, so naturally, he too, must’ve been hurt badly by their marriage.
And, just like A had said: her marriage couldn’t withstand all the storms, and now, she’d wanted to leave, she’d started to worry about her children who are already grown and married, and the child who’s about to be wed, I think, there’s something that needs to look deeper into here.
In order to save herself, A should not keep deceiving herself, AND others in this unhappy marriage, it’d only hurt her, and her two sons. No matter her mental states, leave the violence behind, and, seek out help from a professional, to find her own health, and her peace, that, is the most important thing for her now.
A lot of mothers out there are still staying in their abusive relationships, for the sake of the kids, without knowing, that this would do MORE damage to the kids, than you, just leave, and, sometimes, it is, very difficult, to leave a man who abuse you, it takes a lot of careful planning, and, once you’d decided to do it, just do it, don’t EVER look back, because, IF you can’t keep yourself well, how can you take care of your own offspring, so, FOCUS, ladies!!!