Category Archives: Coping Mechanisms

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

Hobbies, the Haiku of Light

Translated…

How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

Just Relax

Yeah, uh, easy for you to say!!!  Translated…

Awhile, around the beginning of the spring season, my beloved cat, Boo-Boo became crippled.

He had retracted his right front leg, and, used his other three legs to walk, seeing my dearly beloved Boo-Boo who used to walk with such grace becoming a three-legged cat, my heart wrenched for him.

The doctor said it was arthritis, and so, I’d started administering the medications; but, when the doctor was treating his joints, he’d found out, that there was something wrong with his kidneys too, then, we must treat his kidneys first, otherwise, the medication will become even MORE straining on him, and so, the treatment methods became epidermal injections on a daily basis; and still in this process, the doctor found that there is also, heart and pulmonary problems that Boo-Boo has, and then, treating the heart and pulmonary problems became the top priority, otherwise, the epidermal injections will prove to be even MORE straining on his lungs and heart……and, just like so, feeling helpless, I’d taken my Booboo cat, who didn’t want to, between the two vets, but, his crippled leg, it’d not only gotten treated, there’s also, an assortment of OTHER kinds of conditions.

Finally one day, right around the time I’m supposed to take Booboo to the doctors, he’d found a hiding place underneath my bed, and refused to come back out again.

I knew, that he’d had enough, me too, but, what else is there to do?  Who would want their dearly beloved pet cat to suffer?  I’d bent down, called out to my Boo-Boo gently, telling him, that it’s all for his own good.

But he’d ignored me, and, hid underneath my bed for an entire day and night.

The morning of the second day, I woke up, saw Boo-Boo lying in front of the windows, getting some sun.  I’d walked over to him, extended my arms, to pat him, but he’d gotten up, dodged me, stubbornly, without turning his head back, limped, his way, back to underneath my bed, and his facial expressions said all: I don’t love you anymore!  This, is where we end.

At this precise moment, I’d heard my own heart shatter, and knew, that I’d lost the trust, that my Boo-Boo cat had for me.  Naturally, he couldn’t understand why it was, that I was taking him to a place he didn’t like to be, to be treated, for no reasons at all, poor Boo-Boo!  He was originally, very close to humans, and loved me so, but, during this time, I’d not only managed, to get him cured, instead, I’d imposed so much more fears upon him.

Then, I shall just, let nature take its course then, not forcing it on him.  Allow the love and the trust to come back again, there’s nothing else MORE imperative than that.

And so, I’d stopped taking Boo-Boo to the veterinary hospital, at first, he’d still act so defensively toward me, looking at me from a distance, with that sense of guardedness in his eyes, always kept a few meters’ distance between us, but, as time passed, he was slowly, willing, to come closer to me, to accept my touch again; and finally, one day, he’d started, circling around me, intimately, and used his head, to rub against my hand, and allowed me to hold him once more, and put up with my never-ending kisses toward him.  And so, we’d become the best of pals, and started living this sweet and happy life we shared again.

After not going to the hospitals every day, other than limping when he walked, Boo-Boo was like his old self, there was no show of him, being in immense pain, and I’d accepted that he will continue to limp too.  Although I felt that he didn’t walk right, but, there’s that extra sense of cuteness about him.  So long as he’s not in pain, nothing else mattered.  That wouldn’t reduce the love I have for him, him being crippled and all.

Then, awhile ago, about the start of the summer, one day, I’d found, that Boo-Boo was no longer limping again, he’d become, once again, a graceful cat again!

How did all of this change?  Could it be, that he was healed, by the love, and the trust we shared once more?

Or maybe, it’s because I’d relaxed too.  When I no longer worried like hell over him, perhaps, this cat who shared my life intimately, also stopped feeling the anxieties.  From before when I’d done so much, and, there was, no results, then one day, the blockage all of a sudden, was relieved, leaving everything up to fate, and, things got resolved, and, the blockage was gone, and, everything changed for the better.

Worrying is actually an useless emotions.  From my Booboo cat, I’d understand once more, that loosening a wind-up too-tightly heart, your world will open up too.  Like the mysticist had stated, “All you need to do is sit quietly, the flowers will bloom on their own, the grasses and trees will too.”  It is that way to a cat, and this can also be applied to anybody else’s life as well.

And so, the cat just needed time on its own, to sort whatever it is it needed to get sorted out, and the owner’s worries are for naught, and, the owner learned an important lesson about life from her cat, that sometimes, all you need to do, is to sit back, and let nature take its course, and, trust that everything will work out at the end, and it will…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Lessons, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Aging

Translated…

If you’re human, then, surely, you will go through the process of growing old, and falling ill, and die, but, it seems, that on the writings on such subjects, there are, gender specifications too.

Men, unless they’re Zen masters or Buddhists, they usually not talked about the direct effects of the body, deteriorating.  When men writes on the subject of ailments, it’s usually on someone else’s ailments; the patients’ (if the writer is a doctor), or the family members (if he’s a next-of-kin).  And, if the man is talking about his own experiences, then, he’d focused on fighting off the illnesses, like how after Dominique Bauby had a stroke, he’d used his eyes, and finished “Diving Bell & the Butterfly”.  If men wrote their experiences with their health ailments out into books, it’s usually, documenting how they were able to successfully beaten their conditions.  And the ailments showed how they are unrelenting, in battling their conditions, and how strong their will to survive is.

………

Of course, there are, also women who refused to be beaten by old age too.  But, at a certain age, women will eventually, admit to being defeated by the years.

This just shows how there’s this SHARP and contrasting difference to how men and women deal with the issues that they’re faced with, men are more active in writing about their experiences, battling their own conditions, while women take a more laid-back approach, and, women are more than likely to remember the days when they were once healthy, more than men, based off this article.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Issues on Gender, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Self-Images, Values

The Parents Took Care of Earning the Incomes During the Summers, Leaving the Kids Without Smiles During Their Summer Vacations

Summers are hitting the children, especially hard here!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Child Welfare League conducted a research on the cases that social workers followed up on since last December from January 6 to February 27, toward the families whom the social workers had followed for three months.  The findings showed, that as the summer vacation started, without the nutritious meals provided by the schools, nearly forty-percent of school age kids didn’t get their lunches every day, and, even if they had lunches daily, thirty-seven percent of the kids didn’t have enough nutrition, twelve percent of the children are eating leftovers every single day.

On top of that, nearly sixty percent of the children needed to help out around the house, thirty-one percent had to work as nannies, to help babysit the younger siblings, twenty-two percent needed to work outside the home, to help make money for the household, to to get one’s own tuition for next semester.  Fifty-seven percent of the children don’t have adult supervision at home this summer, twelve percent of the kids didn’t see their parents as they headed off to bed, nearly thirty percent of these children only saw their parents once per week.

“Happy” who is in the fourth grade lost his mother when he was real young, his father was diagnosed with stomach cancer six years ago, the family economics are hounding down on him, every single summer, he’d gone to the fields to work in the scorching sun, and, his tiny arms are filled with wounds from the cuts from the grass, but, to help lessen the load on his cancer-prone father, he’d never made a single complaint; recently, his grandmother had a stroke, toward the summer that’s coming, Happy told, that he just wanted to work harder in the fields, so he could help make more money for his family.

“Sunny”, who’s also in the fourth grade, lived in the distant regions, there are four members of his family, and because there were no pipes in his house, he and his family had to use the underground water for cleaning and drinking, and, if the weather got cold, the family would burn wood, to heat up the water for use.  Sunny’s father is ill, the family lived off of the migrated mother’s less than $20,000N.T. pay from the factory, in order to take care of his mildly retarded younger brother, he’d bathed him, fed him, took care of his own younger brother’s daily living, without a word of complaint.  When the reporters asked him about his wish for the summer, Sunny said, “It would be wonderful, if my family and I can travel some place for a day!”

These wishes, seemed so simple to us all, but, they are all, distant and hard-to-reach dreams for these kids, because they were born, into difficult situations, and yet, they still all faced the challenges in their separate lives, with a positive attitude, and that, is something we can all take from.

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Filed under Awareness, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Maturation, Observations, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Values, White Picket Fence

Stuck, Between the Perfect World and the Bottom Line

This, is I guess, how life goes, huh???

Stuck, between the perfect world and the bottom line, we’re, barely surviving here.  We’d been hassled, by this day-to-day, ordinariness of our lives, and, our asses got dragged down, by that harsh note of reality, the moment we returned, from our honeymoon, and, all of a sudden, we are, bombarded, with a ZILLION (and no, that’s still NOT an exaggeration!) bills to pay, people to keep up, and, we’d lost sight of “us” in the process.

Stuck, between the perfect world and the bottom line, why, oh why, did I, allow the harshness of this hard-hitting reality, to take over this life of mine, I kept wondering, but, I just, can’t come up, with a SATISFYING answer for that million-dollar question!

Stuck, between the perfect world and the bottom line, that, is how life goes, I guess, there’s NO escaping, getting RUINED by the everydayness of life, after all, that, is what life is all about, making the adaptations, to living ordinarily, right?

Stuck, between the perfect world and the bottom line, we kept wishing for that perfect world, to fall into our laps, and yet, at the same time, we were both, bogged down by the bottom line, and so, we’re still, struggling, and, I reckon, that this struggle, shall never end!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Life, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams

Some Moments, You Work, Really Hard, to Forget…

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t.  We all, have these moments, in our pasts, that we’d done something awful, hurt someone, when we never meant to.

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t, these are, the moments, that will, stay forever, IN your mind, haunt you, for life, and, there, is NO way you can, EVER, just, SHRUG it all off!

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t, like that night, that you should’ve gone STRAIGHT home, but instead, you’d, hit the bars, and got, picked up, by some LOSER, and, after a few drinks, the room, it started, swirling, turning, and, it all just, went BLACK…

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just can’t, those, are the moments, that imprinted themselves, onto your GUILTY conscience, and, your guilty conscience will, ALWAYS, keep these moments for you, even IF, you worked, your ASSES off, to block it all out.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Life, Properties of Life, Suppressed Memories