Category Archives: Coping Mechanisms

Raped, by the Silences…

We are raped, by the silences, because, we’re, afraid to tell anybody what had, happened to us, because, if we tell our truths, the outside world will only, ostracize us more, saying, that it’s our fault, that we shouldn’t have, behaved too provocatively in front of that man, that we were, just, asking for it, therefore, we’d, kept our silences.

what we were…picture found online…查看來源圖片

Raped, by the silences, we were, because, we’re, too afraid to talk, too afraid for our lives, as well as the lives of, those we loved and cared about, and, can’t even begin to imagine the shame they will feel, if our stories, busted out into the open!

Raped, by the silences, there’s, no way this will, ever come to an end, because, those predators are still, lurking, waiting, for their chances to, attack, and even though, we only come out, during the daytime, sometimes, it feels, like nights…

Raped, by the silences, we were, we were all, victims before, but, I’d, managed to, turn myself, into a god DAMN survivor here, I will, NEVER be quieted, be silenced again!!! what we are now…

what we have the potentials of becoming…picture found online

Raped, by the silences, there’s, nothing we can do, to change the past, change what’s already been done to us (and no, we NEVER enjoyed it!!!).  Raped, by the silences, no we don’t, keep our lips sealed, because what was shameful, wasn’t US, it was, what was, done to us!

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Basic Human Rights, Being Exposed, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Lessons, Life, Overcoming Obstacles, Rapes, Sexual Assaults, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, translated…

Because I can’t keep my self all the time, keep maintaining that bright happy smile,

So, I’d made an enormous sculpture, to tell myself: be happy, smile more!

the artwork of Jimi Liao, from UDN.com…

This is just odd, and, it’s so sad to see, that there are still, adults “educating” their own young like this: that they can’t be unhappy, they need to be happy, and you DO realize, how this, is considered as a sort of emotional NEGLECT, right???

4 Comments

Filed under Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Messed Up Values, Negligence, Observations, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Socialization

Forgiving Her Predatory Father…

Because he’s my “daddy”, and I love him!  Yeah, uh, how FUCKING retarded are you, huh?  And, you DO realize, that it’s WRONG, what that M***ER F***ER had done to you, right?

Forgiving her predatory father, she had, because, she loved him, after all, without his sperm, she wouldn’t even EXIST!  And besides, he’s the PRIMARY source of income, and, her and her family relied on him for bringing in the dough, and besides, in just a few more years, she’ll be, an adult, and she won’t need to, PUT up with him, coming into her bedroom late in the nights, undressing himself, and getting too close to her no more………

Forgiving her predatory father, she didn’t want to, after all, how can you, possibly, forgive a man for RAPE, especially when he WAS (past tense???) your father!  But, for the sake of her family, at her own mother’s urging, child, if you don’t forgive him, he’ll get sent to prison, and what’ll, happen to us???  (and that constitutes as emotional BLACKMAIL!!!), and so, she had, NO other viable options, but to state it in court, “I forgive my father!”

And so, this PREDATORY father learned what???  Oh yeah, I can get away, with RAPING my own daughter any time I want to, besides, the law’s on MY side, and her mother doesn’t believe her…

What do you think is gonna happen, to this child who will eventually, become adult?  Yeah, I can’t even begin to IMAGINE it…………

2 Comments

Filed under Abuse of Power, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Abusing Someone's Trust, Basic Human Rights, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Bullying, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Deaths Caused by Love, Despair, Excuses, Incest, Messed Up Values, Observations, Rapes, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, translated…

I Heard His Cries

I Felt His Despair

I’d Touched His Sorrows

I’d, Closed the Book

He’d, Vanished So Suddenly

Then, Immediately, Came to Me Again

And so, this showed, how the pen IS, mightier than the SWORD, the words touched people, even AFTER they’re done, getting spoken out there, and the influences of words will keep on carrying over…

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Creative Writing, Despair, Growing Up Too Fast, Lessons, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Observations, Values, Writing

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

21 Comments

Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

Hobbies, the Haiku of Light

Translated…

How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

4 Comments

Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

Just Relax

Yeah, uh, easy for you to say!!!  Translated…

Awhile, around the beginning of the spring season, my beloved cat, Boo-Boo became crippled.

He had retracted his right front leg, and, used his other three legs to walk, seeing my dearly beloved Boo-Boo who used to walk with such grace becoming a three-legged cat, my heart wrenched for him.

The doctor said it was arthritis, and so, I’d started administering the medications; but, when the doctor was treating his joints, he’d found out, that there was something wrong with his kidneys too, then, we must treat his kidneys first, otherwise, the medication will become even MORE straining on him, and so, the treatment methods became epidermal injections on a daily basis; and still in this process, the doctor found that there is also, heart and pulmonary problems that Boo-Boo has, and then, treating the heart and pulmonary problems became the top priority, otherwise, the epidermal injections will prove to be even MORE straining on his lungs and heart……and, just like so, feeling helpless, I’d taken my Booboo cat, who didn’t want to, between the two vets, but, his crippled leg, it’d not only gotten treated, there’s also, an assortment of OTHER kinds of conditions.

Finally one day, right around the time I’m supposed to take Booboo to the doctors, he’d found a hiding place underneath my bed, and refused to come back out again.

I knew, that he’d had enough, me too, but, what else is there to do?  Who would want their dearly beloved pet cat to suffer?  I’d bent down, called out to my Boo-Boo gently, telling him, that it’s all for his own good.

But he’d ignored me, and, hid underneath my bed for an entire day and night.

The morning of the second day, I woke up, saw Boo-Boo lying in front of the windows, getting some sun.  I’d walked over to him, extended my arms, to pat him, but he’d gotten up, dodged me, stubbornly, without turning his head back, limped, his way, back to underneath my bed, and his facial expressions said all: I don’t love you anymore!  This, is where we end.

At this precise moment, I’d heard my own heart shatter, and knew, that I’d lost the trust, that my Boo-Boo cat had for me.  Naturally, he couldn’t understand why it was, that I was taking him to a place he didn’t like to be, to be treated, for no reasons at all, poor Boo-Boo!  He was originally, very close to humans, and loved me so, but, during this time, I’d not only managed, to get him cured, instead, I’d imposed so much more fears upon him.

Then, I shall just, let nature take its course then, not forcing it on him.  Allow the love and the trust to come back again, there’s nothing else MORE imperative than that.

And so, I’d stopped taking Boo-Boo to the veterinary hospital, at first, he’d still act so defensively toward me, looking at me from a distance, with that sense of guardedness in his eyes, always kept a few meters’ distance between us, but, as time passed, he was slowly, willing, to come closer to me, to accept my touch again; and finally, one day, he’d started, circling around me, intimately, and used his head, to rub against my hand, and allowed me to hold him once more, and put up with my never-ending kisses toward him.  And so, we’d become the best of pals, and started living this sweet and happy life we shared again.

After not going to the hospitals every day, other than limping when he walked, Boo-Boo was like his old self, there was no show of him, being in immense pain, and I’d accepted that he will continue to limp too.  Although I felt that he didn’t walk right, but, there’s that extra sense of cuteness about him.  So long as he’s not in pain, nothing else mattered.  That wouldn’t reduce the love I have for him, him being crippled and all.

Then, awhile ago, about the start of the summer, one day, I’d found, that Boo-Boo was no longer limping again, he’d become, once again, a graceful cat again!

How did all of this change?  Could it be, that he was healed, by the love, and the trust we shared once more?

Or maybe, it’s because I’d relaxed too.  When I no longer worried like hell over him, perhaps, this cat who shared my life intimately, also stopped feeling the anxieties.  From before when I’d done so much, and, there was, no results, then one day, the blockage all of a sudden, was relieved, leaving everything up to fate, and, things got resolved, and, the blockage was gone, and, everything changed for the better.

Worrying is actually an useless emotions.  From my Booboo cat, I’d understand once more, that loosening a wind-up too-tightly heart, your world will open up too.  Like the mysticist had stated, “All you need to do is sit quietly, the flowers will bloom on their own, the grasses and trees will too.”  It is that way to a cat, and this can also be applied to anybody else’s life as well.

And so, the cat just needed time on its own, to sort whatever it is it needed to get sorted out, and the owner’s worries are for naught, and, the owner learned an important lesson about life from her cat, that sometimes, all you need to do, is to sit back, and let nature take its course, and, trust that everything will work out at the end, and it will…

Leave a comment

Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Lessons, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life