They all thought I was playing, actually, I’m, crying.
This, is the mindset of loneliness, that lack of understanding from the outside world, that longing to be, accepted, by the group…
This would be a QUESTION I have for, ALL of you out there, and I still have to apologize FIRST, for using “foul” language beforehand here…
Who the FUCK (oopsy!) says, that after we women marry, we need to take the last names of our husbands? And, wouldn’t that make us like, your “subordinates”, like second-class citizens? This, is a “tradition” that started, from AGES, or maybe, EONS ago too.
And, why the HELL should we lose our last names, why don’t you men, take OUR last names instead, after all, we are the ones, with the ABILITY to CARRY your offspring, and so, why the HELL is it, that our kids need to take YOUR last names, instead of ours?
This is MORE than just the matter of last names, it’s about how women ARE perceived in the varied cultures in the world, because we’re married to you, we need to “lose” our own last names, because we are, married to you, is that right? So, how come, YOU stupid losers don’t change your last names to ours? After all, we are, living, IN the 21st CENTURY here, and, it is, OUR (women’s) era, to RULE, isn’t that right?
If you’re human, then, surely, you will go through the process of growing old, and falling ill, and die, but, it seems, that on the writings on such subjects, there are, gender specifications too.
Men, unless they’re Zen masters or Buddhists, they usually not talked about the direct effects of the body, deteriorating. When men writes on the subject of ailments, it’s usually on someone else’s ailments; the patients’ (if the writer is a doctor), or the family members (if he’s a next-of-kin). And, if the man is talking about his own experiences, then, he’d focused on fighting off the illnesses, like how after Dominique Bauby had a stroke, he’d used his eyes, and finished “Diving Bell & the Butterfly”. If men wrote their experiences with their health ailments out into books, it’s usually, documenting how they were able to successfully beaten their conditions. And the ailments showed how they are unrelenting, in battling their conditions, and how strong their will to survive is.
Of course, there are, also women who refused to be beaten by old age too. But, at a certain age, women will eventually, admit to being defeated by the years.
This just shows how there’s this SHARP and contrasting difference to how men and women deal with the issues that they’re faced with, men are more active in writing about their experiences, battling their own conditions, while women take a more laid-back approach, and, women are more than likely to remember the days when they were once healthy, more than men, based off this article.
My daughter had always wanted a cat for a pet, but, because neither one of us wanted to, she’d let that thought go. Back in high school, one day, she saw a Rilakkuma, she’d bought it, with glee, it was, about eighty centimeters in height, with light brown coat, a square head, short and fat limbs, very cute, my daughter called it “Bear”, the three of us all loved it so. The bear would usually stay in my daughter’s room, and accompanied my daughter to dreams at night; during the cold winter nights, my daughter would make sure, that her bear is warm, but when she wakes in the morn, the bear would usually have made its escape out, and would be on its side or with its head into the bed, making my daughter laugh.
At meal time, my daughter would carry the bear to the tables and sat with us, it’d stood, on the long chair, with its two, short arms on the table, like a kid, standing up, to eat at the table. After meal, my daughter would carry her Teddy bear back into her bedroom, and would from time to time, nag it, out of fun, “Everybody’s finished already, only you, still here, you glutton.”
The rest time before bedtime, we’d all lain on the bed, sharing conversations, naturally, the bear would also, be there too.
The bear is naturally, my daughter’s number one fan when she plays the piano, whenever my daughter would practice, she’d placed the bear close by; and from time to time, she would have me, hold on to the bear, and listen to her play, after she’s done performing, I would pull the bear’s hands together, to give her the applause, and hollered, “Encore! Encore!”, and my daughter would be filled with glee. Whenever my daughter felt off, she’d told her sorrows to her bear too, she felt, that the bear had great healing powers.
Whenever it’s sunny, my daughter would put the bear onto the couch in the living room, to give it a sunbath, and, after the bear was warmed, she’d then, carry it back into her bedroom, and stated, “the bear had already gotten the essence of the sun and the moon now, it’d become, an energy bear!”
Sometimes, when my daughter heads off abroad to travel or to perform, she’d lain her bear on her bed, pull the covers over her, told it, “You must behave yourself, and wait, for my return.”
What’s more classic was, when she’d started grad school, and was going to her orientation, she’d brought the bear with her to her dorm; and when she’d called home regularly, she’d told me of how the bear was doing; and, waited until the summer or winter vacations, she’d bring the bear home with her.
Being an only daughter is really lonely, but, with her bear accompanying her, as parents, we feel, better about her not having a sibling.
And so, this, is how FAR someone’s attachment objects can go, this young woman didn’t have ANY siblings, as she’s an only child, and so, she’d found herself an attachment object, in this case, a Teddy bear, to accompany her, now, I’m not saying, that having an attachment object is a bad thing, but, this, is just, going WAY too far here, in MY opinion, that is.
Look how easily they’d all SOLD!!! From the Front Page Sections, translated…
On Hara Street in Tokyo, you see an assortment of adolescent girls, wearing uniforms from so many high schools, shoving the small flyers, into the hands, of the male passersby, “This, is what’s called the JK (High School Girl) industries I suppose.”, I’d thought to myself. Based off of the small flyers, there are, pricings for massages, cleaning the ears, lying on your thighs, carrying on in conversations, with the separate price ranges.
The representative of the Colabo Group, Nito Yume gave a speech at the specialist organizations, estimated that there were, about 5,000 adolescent girls who are involved in the JK industries, “The government does nothing.”, the workers are wandering at the borderline of the law, like when those high school read your fortunes, hears you pour your heart out, and recently, there’s the shops, with the girls, folding origami in a glass room, with a single-direction binocular, the chairs are set up, for the customers who are peeping, to see what’s underneath their skirts. But, because of the legislations, it makes the police hard to enter into the places, to do a search, to collect the related evidence. In the whole of Japan, only Aichi Agata set up the bans for these JK industries this February.
Nito, who’d once wrote out her experiences into “High School Refugees”, in 2011, set up Colabo, to offer cares and concerns for girls in the high school level; she said, a lot of people believed, that those girls in the sex industries are from lower economic statuses, but they actually only made up one-third, “the other third was from well-to-do-families, but the students don’t get along well with the members of the families, or the classmates, and, another third came from children from good backgrounds”. A lot of the teenage girls believed, that they’re not selling their bodies, they’d earned the easy money, working these easy gigs, and at the end, they were, PUSHED into the slave trade.
The way that Nito saved these girls is head to the streets, and strike up conversations with these girls on the streets, the very first line was usually, “You want to eat together?” she’d told, that some of the adolescents never even had hot pot with the families, or had never even seen their parents cook. She’d cooked with the girls, and sat with them, laughing and talking at the supper table, to give them a place of comfort. Not everybody would immediately open up to her right away, some, after six months of hanging out with her had, told her about their own sexual abuses from the childhood years.
Nito said, that unlike how the U.S. would punish those who’d solicited sex from the younger children severely, the Japanese culture had, encouraged the adults, to seek out younger girls, and the society carried the attitude of how it’s the families, or the girls’ own fault”, and even the teens felt, that they’re to blame, so they couldn’t reach out for help. A lot of the young adults feared getting sent into government facilities, Nito pointed out, she’d heard, that the “protection center’s” workers aren’t professional social workers, she’d heard, that all the children there should not maintain eye contact with each other, no exchange of names, no talking in private, and they go to the bathrooms, brush their teeth, under strict surveillance, “This, is not care and concern, it’s managing”.
She said, “It’s a shame, that those who are willing to show ‘care and concern’, providing them with food, shelter, and work, even afterschool tutoring, are the workers in the JK industries, no wonder the adolescent girls are so faithful to them.”
And so, because these teens can’t feel accepted by their families, and in school, that, is why they’d turned to the first ones who’d offered them that place that felt like “home”, and, oftentimes, those places that “felt” like home, are so far from home, that once they get in, they will NEVER have the chance of getting out again.
It’s still, ALL in the A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E here, translated…
Awhile ago, I’d gone with my daughter to her middle school classmate’s wedding, it’s been a little over a decade since we’d seen one another, the bride asked me with this shocking tone in her voice, “Mrs. How come you still looked as you did when we were in middle school? Even younger too!”, I couldn’t help but recall, last month, I’d bumped into my daughter’s elementary school piano lesson instructor, she’d said the same thing to me; on last year’s nine-in-one election, when I’d bumped into a former coworker, she’d told me the same thing too.
A few days ago, I went to get a perm, the hair stylist told me, I’m thirteen years younger than you, you don’t have that many visible wrinkles on your face, and, lines are crawling from the corners of my eyes, naturally, I need to get my face toned up! Yesterday I’d gone to the marketplace to get some fruits, the lady that sold the radish cakes was at the fruit stands, socializing, she’d asked me too, how come you don’t age a bit? What, is it that you’re eating, what brand of moisturizers are you using?
Actually, the greatest factor that affects how one looks are the moods. I have a female friend, who is beautiful on the outside, when she was younger, she had a ton of suitors, in the end, she’d married someone who was rich, tall and handsome; and, back then, they’d become the envy of everybody, we’d all given them our deepest blessings. But, the good things in their marriage didn’t last long enough, a few years after they were wed, the man started had another woman on the side, and my friend couldn’t cope with her husband’s affair, and, overnight, all her hair had, turned to white.
Awhile ago, I’d bumped into her, her cheeks are so thin, I could see her bones, and, her face was filled up by wrinkles, she’s just in her early fifties, and yet, she looked as if she’s a whole lot older, I feel really awful and sad for her.
Other than keeping the moods lifted, I’m also grateful to my parents, for giving me beautiful skin, and a body type that’s not easily fattened. I’m naturally optimistic, think on the bright side of things always, and, wear my smiles every single day, and naturally, all the troubles would escape from my mind. And, I would have fruits and vegetables, planted by my husband, without the agricultural pesticide; and even if I didn’t really watch what I ate, I’d still kept at one rule—eat to when I’m seventy-percent full, and must chew everything thoroughly before I swallowed.
I have the habit of having coffee every single day, but, I’d not gone overboard, plus I’d kept up with an exercise routines, my metabolism is fine, my moods are well, naturally, the years couldn’t leave their marks on my skin!
And so, this, is how one woman keeps herself looking young, by keeping a good moods, by thinking positively, and, if you can manage that, you’re half way there, and naturally, eating right, and exercising regularly is also, a MUST, for staying healthy.
Behind the cameras, you took up, your hiding place, thinking, that so long as you keep on, having that machine (the camera???) in front of your faces, then, the world will NOT notice you, but, you are, DEAD wrong!
You’d hid, behind the cameras, never getting yourselves exposed, not even for a photo op, and that made me wonder, WHY? Do you have something you’re trying to hide, from the world? From yourselves?
Behind the cameras, it’d become, your way of life, you’d gotten used to being invisible, with people, going on and about their busy lives, and NOT paying an INKLING of an attention to you. Behind the cameras, you tried to hide yourselves, from getting exposed, because, those photographs, shows you, WHO you really are, that, is why, you never liked your pictures done as you were growing up, and, maybe, it’s partially due to the Inferiority Complex (Adler, anyone???)
Behind the cameras, I’m staying, besides being camera-shy (uh, yeah right!) I know, the end results, of being under that spotlight too long, getting BURNED, anyone???
“Mr. Tsai, will you forgive them? When they’d done wrong, they were still, so very young.”
The big boy, L, who’d voiced this question, is closed to 6’3, he was once the star pitcher of the professional baseball league, he’d thrown a ton of games which led his home team to victory, he’s one of the best defense pitchers in all of Taiwanese baseball history.
But, we’re talking about key points, not how well he’d done, two genius pitchers, one of them, a high school older schoolmate by a year, C, C had once received record-making wage when he’d signed with the Japanese professional baseball teams, and had struck the batters out for twenty-eight games consecutively, became the keeper of the record for “Japanese Pro Baseball Players’ striker”. Another was T, “He’s a natural born pitcher, a star among stars.” L described him using a worshipping tone of voice, T was also the very first pitcher that went on to the American Major Leagues.
And still, both C and T got involved in gambling, and, at the height of their careers, they were banned from the games, for life.
“On one end of the table was a gun, the other, your wages for an entire year, and, there was a beautiful woman, scented in perfume, leaning onto you. When the world used the most enticing things to seduce you, and, all you needed, was to trade it in for a game, no matter how strong your soul, you will take the bait, right? Mr. Tsai, they were so very young then, will you forgive them?”, L’s heart went out to them, and, my heart started wrenching.
I too, have a ton of regrets, regretting those brand new shiny stars all around me, because they couldn’t defend themselves against the gravities of those black holes, they’d gotten, sucked in, one by one, and, lost their chances to shine through.
For instance, B, who works for the custom’s offices, and M, who works for the police department, their departments had been taking bribes for long periods of time, if they entered into this “tradition”, they can get an extra fifteen days’ worth of salaries per month, and if they don’t, they will be transferred out. And so, they’d become, “assimilated” and “gotten used to it”, until something went bust, then, they’d not only lost their public posts, along with their good reputations, and they also have that stain on their originally perfect records. Back then, they’re not yet thirty, they were all once, my good students.
Temptations come in all shapes and sizes, but, they’re all just as enticing. For instance, what Freud worshipped as God, sex drives, and the desire for revenge from Hamlet. On that hot summer’s day, my close friend, “Rock”, before them, because his soul wasn’t heavy enough, he’d gotten, pulled in, and, he’d served, behind bars, for eight years for it.
“I can’t believe that I actually got out of there alive. This lesson was, way too expensive!”, as the class reunited, the past had, stuck in Rock’s throat, “I’d lost my right to an attorney, lost my marriage, missed out on my own son’s coming of age, as I’d entered the prisons, he was still an elementary school kid who stayed close to his dad, and now, he’s a last year high school student. This class I’m teaching, you ALL must understand!”
Rock knew, we’re all, fighting off temptations our whole life.
“Professor Tsai, will you forgive them?”
That day, I’d answered L, that I would, but, the rest of the world never will. No matter how well they’d performed on the fields, so long as they didn’t keep the defenses of their souls up, in the end, they will, pay for their own lost battles.
L had once played for the team that’s most involved in sports gambling, but, unlike C and T, he’d not given his soul easily, he was still the pitcher with the lowest “rate of defense”, and so, the beautiful woman next to him, after waiting for him for ten years, decided, to marry him; and, the manager, my student, Renee, was moved by his simplistic and pure soul, after L worked hard, to defeat Korea, struck out ten batters, and, in exchange, for the sport injuries that’d caused him to lose his professional playing career, he’d decided, to keep watch over him for life too.
In a blink of an eye, youth passed by, with a bit of temptation, life became smokes. And so, I’d treated, C, T, and Rock as the mentors of my life. I know, that every day, every moment, of this life, I will be, tested by temptation, but, I must take after L, to put my defenses up, and so, in the days that come later on, I will get to, advance.
This, is the understanding of life a person learned from watching someone else’s life unfold, and, in interacting with the varied individuals, the writer learned who he wanted to be more, and who’s a bad role model whose steps he shouldn’t follow, a good way to learn from someone else’s mistakes here…
The aftermath of murder-suicide, a follow-up story, from the Front Page Sections, translated…
The murdering of his classmate, Liu by Huang from Kaohsiung Medical University, because he was jealous, as the news got passed, everybody in their department was shocked, stated that although they were three, four years apart, but, they were sent abroad to study, and, because of how similar their backgrounds were, they’d hung around together usually.
The classmates stated, that after the news of Liu three days ago, everybody in the department was having a difficult time, accepting; and these couple of days, when Huang failed to show up for class, everybody thought that it was because he was upset about Liu’s murder, nobody expected the end to be like this.
The medical student, Chen stated, that both Huang and Chen did well in class; both were optimistic, and were both very actively involved in extracurricular activities too, Huang belonged to the football team, Liu acted in a miniature short film directed by a fellow classmate, they both interacted normally with the professors, as well as other classmates too.
The school investigated, that Liu and Huang were Chinese students from Canada and U.S. respectively, both studied abroad when they were younger, because of the similarities in their background, they’d become, the best of friends after they’d started in Kaohsiung Medical School. Huang showed up for activities on April 28th, then, never showed up again, nor was he there, for the meeting of extracurricular club he belonged to, and, the upper class member was just about to tell the professors about it, and the professors were on the verge of trying to find out what happened to him, they got the news of his death.
The office of Student Affairs had already counseled the close friends of these two young men, the classmates were all, heartbroken, “We were together, and, all of a sudden, they both died”, as for the words of how they got jealous of the attention of a girl, the school said, that they’d heard the classmates talk of how they were both seeing someone, but, they’re not clear on the details.
Yesterday, the school managed to get into touch with both Huang and Liu’s parents, both their parents started crying like hell, upon hearing the bad news, “We’d worked so hard, to get them educated, with such bright futures, and now, they both died, it is really difficult, for us, to accept.”
Huang who’d burned charcoal to commit suicide left two notes, one was for his parents, the other, for his younger brother, in the one for his parents, he’d stated, “I’m truly sorry toward you, I hope you won’t feel sad about me again, I was, my mistake, to have, let you down, I love you, I’m sorry, I couldn’t fulfill the duties of a good son to you, if I could, I’d wanted to return to before, when I was led, by the Lord.”
The other note, was for his younger brother, he’d told his younger brother, to take good care of their parents, said that he’d set an awful example, wanted his younger brother to behave, to listen to the teachings of their parents.
And so, this, is the aftermath, and, from this you can clearly see, how easily love can turn the best of friends against each other, that just shows, that love is something you need to be careful around…
Hard work will PAY off, so long as you don’t give up on it, translated…
My good friend, A’s daughter, May, several years ago, after she’d graduated from high school, when she’d taken the national entrance exams for college, she didn’t get in. When she felt beaten down, her aunt told her, “Now, there is a recently started college of management that’s hosting a second call for registration.” And so, May signed up for it right away, and, prepared herself for the examinations, and she got in.
My good friend A reminded her college-bound daughter, May, “the most important thing for a woman is having a stable job, to NOT be reliant on someone else, to make your own ends meet, I hope, you’ll use this time in university to enrich yourself, I encourage that you go for the public positions examinations later.”
At first, May didn’t take her dad’s words to heart, during her first two years of university, she’d partied too hard with her friends and classmates. She’s tiny in frame, gotten involved in several relationships, but, the guys she’d dated either that they cheated on her, or decided, to start dating someone else who looked prettier.
May was sad, and, she was, all of a sudden, reminded of her dad’s words, “Woman need to become self-reliant”, and so, in her spare time from her courses, she’d started preparing for the public positions examinations. She’d chosen the basic level exams that didn’t look at degree, but was with the lowest rate of passing.
The first time she took the exams in her senior year in university, she’d failed, but she’d still used her drive, kept studying hard. And, her hard work eventually paid off, the year after she’d graduated from university, she’d gotten in, as the last spot of the “backup lists”, and, she didn’t mind, that she was sent to a distant country region to work, that all who’d passed the examinations tried to avoid, she’d set out, to take the job.
Awhile ago, May got her wish, transferred back to her hometown to work, and, there was a boy, who works in a public facility too, who’d started, pursuing her as well.
Recently, A took his daughter’s wedding invitation, to give it to me, and that, was when I’d heard May’s story from top to bottom. I’d congratulated his daughter one winning double on her work, as well as in her marriage. A said, in a heartfelt manner, “So, the slow birds must fly out first, so, they can reach their goals as well!”
Although this woman didn’t have the homing advantage, but, she’d made up for it with her hard work, and, never gave up, and that, was how she was able to success, in achieving her goals, that just shows, that persistence will eventually pay off, so long as you’re persisting toward the right things in life.