The lesson this father learned, from his baby daughter, who is in her, Queen Elsa stage of life, translated…
I have a four-year-old daughter who loved nothing but skirts, but, in her preschool, for the kids to stay easily managed, and having the agility to do the class activities, the preschool told the students that they can’t wear skirts or dresses to classes, and so, on the weekends and holidays, she’d, made up for it, putting on the skirts, the dresses, to satisfy her own desires of being dolled up like a princess.
Since we received the preowned princess dress from a friend, she’d, found that hidden princess side of her self, even though, she’d not seen any Disney princess films, but through the social networking in her school, she’d become, the master of “Frozen” by Disney, “let it go” became her overly used phrase, and on the weekends, she’d insisted, on becoming Elsa the queen, with that crown on her head, a magic wand in her hand, then, she would allow us to take her out, she’d, put her heart, her soul, her being into this, as a father to her, and a film director, I don’t know how to react to it, and realized, just how, powerful an influence the movie industry has on the people.
I wrecked my mind, do I, allow my daughter to exercise her own free imagination, or to restrict her, to set a right kind of value system for her to follow?
little girls, dressing themselves up as princesses
This semester, I’d started teaching a master class, “Writing Scripts for Young Children”, I’d set up the discussion times with my students on the matter of “children” from before. First, understand the minds of the young children? How the children’s thought processes worked? How do they express themselves? How to get along, communicate, then lastly, what we want to, give to the children? This order is quite vital, but in the Asian culture, stressing raising outstanding children, we only cared about what we’re, feeding to the children, how to make them absorb what we’re giving to them, to make sure they learned the lessons quickly, and all of the lessons we have to teach all at once? As for the children’s thoughts, or feelings………we’d ignored, wait until they’re older, then, we tailor to that.
On the weekend, I took my young daughter, dressed up as Queen Elsa to Costco to shop, because of how she’d stood out, the ladies working at the sample tables, and demonstrating the new products all came to say hello.
“Princess, you are, beautiful!”
“What are you looking to buy today, princess?”
“Are you Princess Elsa? I saw your movie once!”
All the way, my daughter was very conversational with everybody who’d greeted her, it’s her dad who felt, embarrassed, and boy oh boy, am I glad, that I’d put my mask on.
“Does it bother you, or make you uncomfortable, that you’re getting, everybody’s, attention?”, I’d asked my daughter.
“no.”, she’d responded.
“So, you enjoy all the attention then?” I’d inquired.
“Sure, because they’re giving me compliments, affirming me.”, she’d told me.
Actually, this child of mine, had suppressed her feelings from when she was a young child, refused to express herself, and we’d had to guess what’s on her mind a lot. It took my wife and I a ton of time, and worked hard with her, for her to finally express her own emotions, to tell her thoughts to us, and now, the results are finally, apparent.
Before we give to the children, and teach them things, we must first, know what they’re thinking, how they’re, feeling; understand, empathize, allowing them to tell us, give the children their own means of expression, to valid what they experience, this is, the core value of writing for children.
Letting the children be themselves, versus training them to be someone else we expect them to become, this is a huge matter for not just the parents, but also, a must-learn lesson for everybody in this world. I’m too grateful to my princess, teaching her father, the “king”, to learn this, important lesson.
So, the adults learned something from the children here, because there is, a lot to learn from your own kids, but, mostly, you @#$%ING (maxed out!) adults think, that we’re older, therefore, we know more than you do kid, and, we will silence you, because you got nothing important to say, after, we are older, AND wiser, having lived longer.
And yet, there are, a ton of things, that the adults should be learning from their own young, not the other way around, children are, born wise, and then, they grow up, become, stupid adults.