Category Archives: Values

The Values one hold, the meanings of things

What? I’m Korean!

Finding out why, and, letting go of that feeling of being betrayed, realizing, that what the adults in your life did, was what they thought was, best for you, translated…

Ever since I could recall, I’d lived alone, with my mother in Korea, we’d never spent, a day apart. Later, I’d come to Taiwan to study, to marry, to have children, and settled down in Taipei, with my mother there, by my side. But, shortly after she passed, my former classmates from Korea sent me a weird news: there were, a couple of Koreans who were, desperately, searching for me, and claimed that they were, my relatives.

How’s that possible? Am I, zoomed in, by the international scam artists?

From before when there was only a small circle of Asians we’d associated ourselves with, there’s, that invisible sense of pride from being Chinese, that was, that sense of superiority of being Chinese, not wanting to be with the Koreans, we were, living, on someone else’s land, but felt, that they were, second class citizens. This weird belief, showed the most when someone is arguing with an Asian person, when we only needed to blurt out, “You looked like a Korean!”, it was, the biggest sort of insult to the individual, and, the person you’re arguing with will totally get outraged when you’d called them that.

korean children adopted 的圖片結果like this family???  Photo from online…

Growing up in this sort of an atmosphere, I’d only begged to pass the Korean language exams, and, every other course in high school, I’d made straight A’s, only Korean, I’d scored toward the bottom; and, my communication abilities was just enough, for me to use when I go shopping in the marketplaces.

When the Korean who’d come met me to show me he was related to me, he’d provided the adoption papers, and photos of me as a young child, mailed everything to me, and, all of those, “evidences” proved, that I was, a Korean, heads down!

Isn’t it outrageous, thinking that I was, Chinese all along, and then, I turned out to be, Korean? This was, the biggest kind of irony. I refused to admit that I was, Korean, I hated that classmate who’d, exposed me for who I was, and I’d, hated my birthmother, for giving me up for adoption.

After six months’ worth of struggles, my second eldest sister kept making those international calls to care for me, and, repeatedly, sent the presents to my husband and my two children, and my heart finally, started, to disarm itself, and finally agreed to, meet with them.

In the city of Suwon, I’d finally, met my five sisters and my younger brother. All these middle-aged uncles and aunts, as they’d, described of the hardship and trials they’d weathered through in life, I’d not heard a single word of complaint, their persistence, optimism, passion, comparing to my own prejudices, my aloofness, my dissatisfactions, made me so ashamed I wanted to find a hole to hide in.

What right had I, to hold my prejudices against Koreans? And, why can’t I understand, the pains and hardships my mother who’d carried me for ten whole months, and know how trying it must’ve been, for her, to give me up for adoption? Had it been not my birthfather’s death when he was way too young, had it not been my mother being too young, and needed to remarry, had it not been for my second eldest sister crying for one whole weeks at my adopted mother’s home, and got “returned”, and I got sent up for adoption, my fate would’ve been, so totally, different, how could I have gotten to live as an only child, cherished, sent to Taiwan for my college years, to become a teacher, to meet a good man, and marry and have children.

korean children adopted 的圖片結果or this???  Photo from online…

And now, both my mothers had passed, but the love they had for me, was enough, to last me, my whole life. Toward my birthmother, other than being grateful, there’s, that extra understanding; for my adoptive mother, other than, being grateful, there’s that sense of, missing her forever!

And so, it’s all due to fate, that this had, happened, and, back when you were a child, you may not understand WHY it was, that you were, given up for adoption, and perhaps, you’d carried the resentments toward your birthparents, for giving you up, and your adoptive parents, to keeping the truth from you, but, as you got older, and started your own family, you’d, realized, that given the situations of your past, all those adults did what they thought was, best for you, and, you’d become, grateful, for having everything that you have in life…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Adoption, Awareness, Because of Love, Childhood, Choices, Connections, Cost of Living, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Perspectives, Socialization, Things Left Behind, Values

In Love with Batik

Made a fool of himself, because he’d not gotten to know what sort of an attire the batik was! Translated…

On the weekends, the Taipei Main Station became a gathering place for the migrant workers. Seeing those Indonesian migrant workers put on their Batik (printed cloth, dyed with wax), I was reminded of thirty years ago, as I was, sent to Jakarta to work, I’d bought two suits, to be like the locals!

batik 的圖片結果a sample of the cloth…found online…

I’d found the prints that were, plainer, the colors, not so bright, and I’d felt very crisp, wearing the Batik. The only regret I have, was that I’d not, have the opportunities, to wear it out to show it off.

Back then, there were, more and more Indonesian trading companies set up in Taiwan. We are, a shipbuilding company, with a lot of clients, and, we’d gone to the airports, twice, or thrice per week to pick up our clients. And, shortly after, in order to fulfill the needs, China Airlines started having the no-transfer flights from Taipei, but, the flights arrive at eight at night. Here comes my chance, I can get off work, go home, take a shower, change into my Batik, and go pick up the clients.

And maybe, our skin color was lighter than the locals, that, it’d made us, stand out, that some of the locals would see us, and look back, and smile at us. Then, I’d, noticed, that there was, a female police officer by the gates, who’d looked at me, and smiled lightly. I can’t be uncourteous, I’d, nodded in acknowledgement toward her too, and smiled my gentleman’s smile. Then, after awhile, every time I arrived, she’d always, flashed that smile toward me, and sometimes, she would really be, grinning, ear to ear towards me. And, the female coworker close by would give her a nudge, encourage her to come and talk to me.

here’s a person, wearing batik, from online still…person wearing batik 的圖片結果

Then one day, as I’d, entered into the corridors, before I could stand up straight, I saw her, walking straight toward me, and I can tell, she was, blushed. My heart rac’ed a bit, but, I’d, warned myself, getting sent to Indonesia is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for work, NOT for romance. I have a beautiful wife, a cute son at home, this, is unacceptable.

That female officer walked toward me, said lightly, “Sir”.

Wow, she spoke Chinese.

She’d gotten closer to me, and said, very lightly to me, “Can you, not wear the pajamas, to the airports?”

So, this, is something that’s, interesting about culture, because you’re, in a different culture, and, the way they dress, is different than what you’re used to, and like this man had, bought the batik, which was originally supposed to be used a pajamas, and he’d, worn it out…cultural differences, is what we all need to, watch out for when we enter a different country from our own!

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Choices, Connections, Expectations, Interactions Shared with the World, Lessons, Life, Observations, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Values, Wake Up Calls

Life Took a Sharp Turn

On changing tracks, not knowing, if you’d, made the right choices in life or not! Translated…

Life flew by too fast, it’d been six months, since my return back to Puli, this small town to live. The me a decade ago, or even, just two years ago, I’d never imagined a life like this for me.

Being on the rise through school and into the workforce, I’d entered into my first-choice schools locally, and entered into my top choices of university, after I graduated, I’d started working as an engineer in the well-known high-tech companies in Taipei. I’d worked very hard, and my abilities gotten the attention of the boss, in a few short years, I’d gotten promoted, and raises too. Back then, I’d imagined, that ten years later, I should be a high-end manager in the workforce, and would go on business trips to Europe and America often.

like this???the roadsigns of your life…

And now, I’d, walked with difficulties, with my pregnant belly, travelled on foot, delivering the goods that my clients ordered, and pondering, what I needed to update onto my website to sell when I arrived home.

A few years ago, I’d gotten married for a while, as my husband and I started thinking about when to have children, and how we’re going to take care of our kids after they were born. Both working as engineers in the high-tech companies, after subtracting the time for sleep away, there were only, about two hours in the late hours of the nights we can, save for ourselves. We didn’t want to be missing out on the coming of age of our young, so, a change in track was needed. And, something had, happened at home then, after careful considerations, we’d decided to quit our jobs, return back home, and my husband started working in the field, and I, started setting up my online shop.

Recalling how back when I’d just graduated from graduate school, my dad asked me if I wanted to take the public offices examinations. Back then, I was so satisfied with my own life, full of confidence, didn’t consider, that the life of a government office worker wouldn’t suit me well. But now, as my shop online just got set up, I’d had an unstable source of income, and I’d found those job openings in the areas of Puli, and I’d, wanted, to kick myself. After I’d left Taipei, Hsinchu, and Tainan, cities with the larger scale technology companies, it’s like, I’d, whited out my past work experiences. As I’d passed the post offices, along with Taipower offices, I couldn’t help but wondered, if I’d, only taken the government post exams.

查看來源圖片imagine how different life can turn out for you…photo from online…

At the age of thirty, for the sake of my family, my life took a sharp turn, and I can’t tell yet, whether if it’s going to be good or bad, but I believe, that so long as I carried the heart I’d had before, worked hard, I can totally, find a brand new direction in life again.

And so, this, is a huge life-changing situation you’re, faced with now, isn’t it? You’d quit your government job, to chase your dreams, so you can have more time with your young, to not miss out in their coming of age, and, although you’re, unsure of whether or not you’d, made the correct choices in life, your life knows where it’s, taking you.

2 Comments

Filed under Because of Love, Changing Tracks, Connections, Cost of Living, Lessons, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, The Fate of a Woman, Things Left Behind, Translated Work, Values, Women's Issues

Watching You Leave, the Thoughts of a Mother

Translated…

On Sunday evening, my daughter with her huge backpack, is headed to her grandparents’ house, I’d sent her off by the door, and, nagged on how she’d not put her shoes on right, she’d mumbled back, “I’ll put it on properly in the elevator!”, I’d insisted that she was to, put her shoes on properly before she leaves, she’d, bent down, redid her laces with that unwillingness, and, I’d had, a few extra seconds, to stare at her.

Since a decade ago, my spouse’s name was stricken off my national identification card, I’d lost the days of accompanying her by the day, and only on the weekends, did we get time together to share. Every Friday evening, I’d, rushed off work, road across the city, to a kindergarten, to pick her up and, my daughter curled underneath the lamplight of the kindergarten, with her accompanying bunny, and, her eyes and smiles, turned into the stars in the skies the moment she saw me. Several years passed by, it’s now, that young woman who’d taken the MRT, the bus, to my place.

As the elevator headed downstairs slowly, I’d calculated the timing just right, went to the lanai to look, the red-topped bus slowly came close, and stopped, right underneath the bus stop; my daughter was sitting in it, her huge white backpack on her legs, with her eyes, staring up ahead, lips slightly curled upward. The autumn sun was eye catching, and, being able to travel on her own makes her excited.

Very long ago, I too, watched the bus as it sped off into the distance, imagined my own sunny and bright futures too, filled with a ton of dreams, embracing the impossibilities of life. back then, I’d never imagined, that in an unknown corner, there it was, my mother, with her tears, staring at the direction I left in.

And now, I’d become, an adolescent’s mother too, and, the once-a-week that we’d met, was what was left for me to take with in this richness of her youthfulness, but, became an aging life’s extravagance. The social media, the pop music, the trending novels, there is, no boundaries, in the world of a teenage girl, and all I could do, was smile by her side and accompany her, but I’d still, cherished the time we spent together.

not my photo…

I know, that one day, she will eventually own her own universe, write her own stories, and that I can’t, keep her all to myself. That mother was only a caretaker when she was younger, but not the one who’d owned her for this life, when she has the ability, to spread her wings and fly, or resting, on that tree on her own, she wouldn’t allow me to groom her, to smooth her feathers anymore, just as back then I’d left my own home too, although I’d bumped and fell, I’d never turned back toward my mother, and ask her to give me a hand.

And still, not butting into her life doesn’t mean that she’s not occupying my mind. After I’d lived alone for a bit, I read the words my mother wrote, “You will always be my child.”, no matter how bad life got, how awful living is, the mother will always recognize her own young; no matter how far you fly, the mother’s gazes will always be like that string connecting to the kite, glued, to the child’s body, hung there, not pulling the child down, close knit, but never broken off.

Right now, the bus my daughter rode is probably at the MRT station now. She’d, scanned her pass, and standing inside the trains, her feet, tapping to the music, reading through her book, an hour later, she will, arrive at her destination, happy, and safe and sound.

The thoughts of a mother, she’d watched her child come and go, from her place back to her husband’s home, and, she knew, that she needed to, let her daughter go, and the child is growing into a beautiful woman, and, she felt sad, because of how her daughter will eventually, spread her wings and fly, but that’s a part of what parents must face, because children WILL grow up, whether or NOT we want them to!!!

8 Comments

Filed under Letting Go, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Thirty-Sixth “I’m Sorry”, in the Workplace

Translated…

I read across a report in a magazine, “the most widely used phrases came from the Zen Master of the era during 420 to 589, in the west, it’d become popularized in the 1850s, meaning those words one said repeatedly”.  In the article, it’d mentioned how those most widely used phrases can have positive effects in communication, that if the working class constantly used the positive most widely used phrases, they would attract those who are similar to them, and naturally, get closer, to success………I’d told my son, since he’d gone into the travel industries, his most widely used phrase was, “I’m sorry”, is this positive?

My son laughed in disbelief, at which time, his cell phone started ringing, it was, the tour guide to Japan, said that two of the guests refused to have the hotpot arranged for them by the tourist agency, that they’d insisted on having pork chops; the leader of the tour worried it might be inconvenient to the restaurant, and feared, that it might be a bad example for the rest of the tourists, called from overseas, to file a grievance to my son, “Your clients, you take care of them.”  My son immediately apologized to the tour guide, then, soothed the travelers, asked them to just eat the hotpot with the rest of the group, that after they returned, he will treat them to the pork chops they’d wanted to have.

from the papers…

Seeing how my son had, lowered himself, as his mother, I felt that he was taken.  But my son told me, there are people from all walks of life, don’t know how many bad customers I’d come across over the years, this, was merely, a side dish, he said, that once, he’d continually told a client “I’m sorry” a total of thirty-six times, after the phone call, he was, completely, depleted of energy.

That time, he’d taken on a foreign tour group, at the information session, over thirty people came, as he’d collected the fees, some paid by credit card, some paid by cash, all of a sudden, he’d become aware, that there was a tourist, Ms. Lee who’d asked to pay by installments, and asked the others, “are there any like Ms. Lee who are paying by installments?” then, a group of people rushed up to him, and Ms. Lee was extremely furious, “What do you mean?  Why did you use my name?”

“Holy!  Could she have, mistaken my meaning that she didn’t have enough money that, was why she’d paid by installment?”, my son immediately realized that he’d misspoke, and told her that he’d not meant anything by it, but Ms. Lee wouldn’t have it, still pressed on.  And my son, who was then, cornered, can only kept apologizing to her, and as he’d counted to the thirty-sixth time he’d apologized to her, Ms. Lee finally got tired of grilling him, turned around and left, and he’d gone back to his cubicle, and, downed half a liter of water in one gulp.

not my comic…

Afterwards, my son received a call from Ms. Lee’s coworker, told him, that Ms. Lee was scolded by the superiors at the office for NO reasons at all, that she wasn’t in a good mood, that, was why she’d taken her angers out on him, hoped that my son can empathize.  My son said, that it was his fault first, that he’d spoken too fast, without taking into considerations that it may affect the way she felt, that he will surely improve the next time.

Although my son said carelessly, that he’d, rolled around the workforce for many years now, and had already become totally immune from everything that happens in the workforce, I can still see, that he was, somewhat hurt.  As for his most widely used phrase, did it have any positive influences?  I’d thought for a long time, and still couldn’t reach my own conclusions, but, you can never be too courteous, if you’re not closer to success, you would be, a step away from failure, I suppose.

So, this, is when one deals with a customer who’s WRONG, but, because this guy works in the service industries, he’d needed to, lower himself, to make his clients feel better, and this woman took out how she was grilled by her superior at work on someone unrelated to her work, and that just shows how low emotional control this woman has.

6 Comments

Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Belief in a Just World, Choices, In the Workplace, Life, Scapegoating, Socialization, Values, Vicious Cycle

Hobbies, the Haiku of Light

Translated…

How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

4 Comments

Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

A Product of His Enviornmental Interactions

He was, a product of his environmental interactions, there’s NO denying that!  Being a product of his environmental interactions, he’d worked hard, to get along with, to adapt, to everything that’s happening around him, because that, is how he would survive.

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d fallen victim, and, once that had happened, he found himself, STUCK, and, NO matter how hard he’d tussled and rustled, he just, couldn’t, get back out again.  A product of his environmental interactions, during the last parts of his life, he’d come to understand, that if one is to ge4t along well with the world, then, one must make oneself malleable, so one can deal with the changes around oneself…

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d become, and, he’d fallen, to that mindset, and, NO matter how hard he’d tried, he just, couldn’t get out, he’s now, STUCK, for good!

A product of his environmental interactions, there’s no way, for him, to rid himself off that, because NO matter where he goes, he is right there, the consequences of his life, will always, be right there, behind him, ready to, catch him, RIGHT in the A-C-T………

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Theories & Applications, Values