Category Archives: Values

The Values one hold, the meanings of things

Watching You Leave, the Thoughts of a Mother

Translated…

On Sunday evening, my daughter with her huge backpack, is headed to her grandparents’ house, I’d sent her off by the door, and, nagged on how she’d not put her shoes on right, she’d mumbled back, “I’ll put it on properly in the elevator!”, I’d insisted that she was to, put her shoes on properly before she leaves, she’d, bent down, redid her laces with that unwillingness, and, I’d had, a few extra seconds, to stare at her.

Since a decade ago, my spouse’s name was stricken off my national identification card, I’d lost the days of accompanying her by the day, and only on the weekends, did we get time together to share. Every Friday evening, I’d, rushed off work, road across the city, to a kindergarten, to pick her up and, my daughter curled underneath the lamplight of the kindergarten, with her accompanying bunny, and, her eyes and smiles, turned into the stars in the skies the moment she saw me. Several years passed by, it’s now, that young woman who’d taken the MRT, the bus, to my place.

As the elevator headed downstairs slowly, I’d calculated the timing just right, went to the lanai to look, the red-topped bus slowly came close, and stopped, right underneath the bus stop; my daughter was sitting in it, her huge white backpack on her legs, with her eyes, staring up ahead, lips slightly curled upward. The autumn sun was eye catching, and, being able to travel on her own makes her excited.

Very long ago, I too, watched the bus as it sped off into the distance, imagined my own sunny and bright futures too, filled with a ton of dreams, embracing the impossibilities of life. back then, I’d never imagined, that in an unknown corner, there it was, my mother, with her tears, staring at the direction I left in.

And now, I’d become, an adolescent’s mother too, and, the once-a-week that we’d met, was what was left for me to take with in this richness of her youthfulness, but, became an aging life’s extravagance. The social media, the pop music, the trending novels, there is, no boundaries, in the world of a teenage girl, and all I could do, was smile by her side and accompany her, but I’d still, cherished the time we spent together.

not my photo…

I know, that one day, she will eventually own her own universe, write her own stories, and that I can’t, keep her all to myself. That mother was only a caretaker when she was younger, but not the one who’d owned her for this life, when she has the ability, to spread her wings and fly, or resting, on that tree on her own, she wouldn’t allow me to groom her, to smooth her feathers anymore, just as back then I’d left my own home too, although I’d bumped and fell, I’d never turned back toward my mother, and ask her to give me a hand.

And still, not butting into her life doesn’t mean that she’s not occupying my mind. After I’d lived alone for a bit, I read the words my mother wrote, “You will always be my child.”, no matter how bad life got, how awful living is, the mother will always recognize her own young; no matter how far you fly, the mother’s gazes will always be like that string connecting to the kite, glued, to the child’s body, hung there, not pulling the child down, close knit, but never broken off.

Right now, the bus my daughter rode is probably at the MRT station now. She’d, scanned her pass, and standing inside the trains, her feet, tapping to the music, reading through her book, an hour later, she will, arrive at her destination, happy, and safe and sound.

The thoughts of a mother, she’d watched her child come and go, from her place back to her husband’s home, and, she knew, that she needed to, let her daughter go, and the child is growing into a beautiful woman, and, she felt sad, because of how her daughter will eventually, spread her wings and fly, but that’s a part of what parents must face, because children WILL grow up, whether or NOT we want them to!!!

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Filed under Letting Go, Life, Parenting/Parenthood, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Thirty-Sixth “I’m Sorry”, in the Workplace

Translated…

I read across a report in a magazine, “the most widely used phrases came from the Zen Master of the era during 420 to 589, in the west, it’d become popularized in the 1850s, meaning those words one said repeatedly”.  In the article, it’d mentioned how those most widely used phrases can have positive effects in communication, that if the working class constantly used the positive most widely used phrases, they would attract those who are similar to them, and naturally, get closer, to success………I’d told my son, since he’d gone into the travel industries, his most widely used phrase was, “I’m sorry”, is this positive?

My son laughed in disbelief, at which time, his cell phone started ringing, it was, the tour guide to Japan, said that two of the guests refused to have the hotpot arranged for them by the tourist agency, that they’d insisted on having pork chops; the leader of the tour worried it might be inconvenient to the restaurant, and feared, that it might be a bad example for the rest of the tourists, called from overseas, to file a grievance to my son, “Your clients, you take care of them.”  My son immediately apologized to the tour guide, then, soothed the travelers, asked them to just eat the hotpot with the rest of the group, that after they returned, he will treat them to the pork chops they’d wanted to have.

from the papers…

Seeing how my son had, lowered himself, as his mother, I felt that he was taken.  But my son told me, there are people from all walks of life, don’t know how many bad customers I’d come across over the years, this, was merely, a side dish, he said, that once, he’d continually told a client “I’m sorry” a total of thirty-six times, after the phone call, he was, completely, depleted of energy.

That time, he’d taken on a foreign tour group, at the information session, over thirty people came, as he’d collected the fees, some paid by credit card, some paid by cash, all of a sudden, he’d become aware, that there was a tourist, Ms. Lee who’d asked to pay by installments, and asked the others, “are there any like Ms. Lee who are paying by installments?” then, a group of people rushed up to him, and Ms. Lee was extremely furious, “What do you mean?  Why did you use my name?”

“Holy!  Could she have, mistaken my meaning that she didn’t have enough money that, was why she’d paid by installment?”, my son immediately realized that he’d misspoke, and told her that he’d not meant anything by it, but Ms. Lee wouldn’t have it, still pressed on.  And my son, who was then, cornered, can only kept apologizing to her, and as he’d counted to the thirty-sixth time he’d apologized to her, Ms. Lee finally got tired of grilling him, turned around and left, and he’d gone back to his cubicle, and, downed half a liter of water in one gulp.

not my comic…

Afterwards, my son received a call from Ms. Lee’s coworker, told him, that Ms. Lee was scolded by the superiors at the office for NO reasons at all, that she wasn’t in a good mood, that, was why she’d taken her angers out on him, hoped that my son can empathize.  My son said, that it was his fault first, that he’d spoken too fast, without taking into considerations that it may affect the way she felt, that he will surely improve the next time.

Although my son said carelessly, that he’d, rolled around the workforce for many years now, and had already become totally immune from everything that happens in the workforce, I can still see, that he was, somewhat hurt.  As for his most widely used phrase, did it have any positive influences?  I’d thought for a long time, and still couldn’t reach my own conclusions, but, you can never be too courteous, if you’re not closer to success, you would be, a step away from failure, I suppose.

So, this, is when one deals with a customer who’s WRONG, but, because this guy works in the service industries, he’d needed to, lower himself, to make his clients feel better, and this woman took out how she was grilled by her superior at work on someone unrelated to her work, and that just shows how low emotional control this woman has.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Belief in a Just World, Choices, In the Workplace, Life, Scapegoating, Socialization, Values, Vicious Cycle

Hobbies, the Haiku of Light

Translated…

How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

A Product of His Enviornmental Interactions

He was, a product of his environmental interactions, there’s NO denying that!  Being a product of his environmental interactions, he’d worked hard, to get along with, to adapt, to everything that’s happening around him, because that, is how he would survive.

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d fallen victim, and, once that had happened, he found himself, STUCK, and, NO matter how hard he’d tussled and rustled, he just, couldn’t, get back out again.  A product of his environmental interactions, during the last parts of his life, he’d come to understand, that if one is to ge4t along well with the world, then, one must make oneself malleable, so one can deal with the changes around oneself…

A product of his environmental interactions, he’d become, and, he’d fallen, to that mindset, and, NO matter how hard he’d tried, he just, couldn’t get out, he’s now, STUCK, for good!

A product of his environmental interactions, there’s no way, for him, to rid himself off that, because NO matter where he goes, he is right there, the consequences of his life, will always, be right there, behind him, ready to, catch him, RIGHT in the A-C-T………

 

 

 

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Filed under Interactions Shared with the World, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Observations, Properties of Life, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Theories & Applications, Values

Aging

Translated…

If you’re human, then, surely, you will go through the process of growing old, and falling ill, and die, but, it seems, that on the writings on such subjects, there are, gender specifications too.

Men, unless they’re Zen masters or Buddhists, they usually not talked about the direct effects of the body, deteriorating.  When men writes on the subject of ailments, it’s usually on someone else’s ailments; the patients’ (if the writer is a doctor), or the family members (if he’s a next-of-kin).  And, if the man is talking about his own experiences, then, he’d focused on fighting off the illnesses, like how after Dominique Bauby had a stroke, he’d used his eyes, and finished “Diving Bell & the Butterfly”.  If men wrote their experiences with their health ailments out into books, it’s usually, documenting how they were able to successfully beaten their conditions.  And the ailments showed how they are unrelenting, in battling their conditions, and how strong their will to survive is.

………

Of course, there are, also women who refused to be beaten by old age too.  But, at a certain age, women will eventually, admit to being defeated by the years.

This just shows how there’s this SHARP and contrasting difference to how men and women deal with the issues that they’re faced with, men are more active in writing about their experiences, battling their own conditions, while women take a more laid-back approach, and, women are more than likely to remember the days when they were once healthy, more than men, based off this article.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Issues on Gender, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Self-Images, Values

The Students from N.T.U. Sold Handmade Soaps to Help Those Who are Living on the Edges of the Society

Good deeds, caught on “tape”, from the Newspapers, translated…

Four students from N.T.U. set up the group, “NTUtopia” platform, worked with the not-for-profit organization of “Community Village”, helped those who lived on the edges of the society, they not only set up the handmade soap gift box sets, they’d even push forth the products to the EMBA Alumni Group of NTU to be used as the gifts of the Alumni Group’s meetings; they’d raised funds from the online community as well, and gotten the monetary supports from multiple enterprises, so the not-for-profit organizations can have more funds to do what they need to do.

“Community Village” is located in Taoyuan, and, it specializes in placing those individuals that don’t fit the criteria of being placed in homes, or those who are abandoned by the society, couldn’t take care of themselves, like homeless people, or those who had gone through huge trials in their lives, orphans, those who are mentally ill and couldn’t find a place to live in.

One of the members of the NTUtopia, Jia said, that “Community Village” does not receive monetary assistance from the government, and, although the public makes small donations, the village also sell their own handmade soaps, secondhand books, sell the recycling materials, but, the money it brings in is still not quite enough, to care for the over a hundred homeless members’ living expenses.

Jia said, that she and her group had visited numerous not-for-profit organizations, but, the “Community Village” was one that impressed them the most, the members of her group saw six elderly who are disabled, with illness, all cramped, inside a small room, it’d made the students feel bad.  After the students learned of the situation that the “Community Village” was faced with, they’d decided to do something for them.

In order to earn more profit, the “Community Village” taught the student to make handmade soaps, so they could have a viable skill, but Jia said, that they’d found that the soap the “Community Village” made are almost invisible, and plus, the packaging wasn’t attractive that it is really hard, to get the consumers to buy, and so, she and her group had helped develop gift sets, and introduced the product to the NTU EMBA Alumni Group, and the soap gift boxes became the take-home presents for the initiation of the new president of the Alumni Group, and this was, the very first step, to sell the handmade soaps to the outside world.

NTUtopia also set up a fundraiser for “Community Village” on its online platform, find the enterprises sponsors for them, at the same time, they’d put the products that “Community Village” make at the N.T.U. Arts Festival too, slowly, getting the products on the maps, which helped the group get more funds from individual donors.  Jia said, next, they are going to help other foundations which aren’t well-known to the community, but are in desperate need of funding, to make the rest of the world notice.

And so, this, is from a student set-up organization that’s doing all of this, because a need is realized, and, someone took the initiatives, to make the needs of the group known to the rest of the public, and that still just shows, how far one small thought can go.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Connections, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Social Awareness, Stories of Hope, Values

The Parents Took Care of Earning the Incomes During the Summers, Leaving the Kids Without Smiles During Their Summer Vacations

Summers are hitting the children, especially hard here!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Child Welfare League conducted a research on the cases that social workers followed up on since last December from January 6 to February 27, toward the families whom the social workers had followed for three months.  The findings showed, that as the summer vacation started, without the nutritious meals provided by the schools, nearly forty-percent of school age kids didn’t get their lunches every day, and, even if they had lunches daily, thirty-seven percent of the kids didn’t have enough nutrition, twelve percent of the children are eating leftovers every single day.

On top of that, nearly sixty percent of the children needed to help out around the house, thirty-one percent had to work as nannies, to help babysit the younger siblings, twenty-two percent needed to work outside the home, to help make money for the household, to to get one’s own tuition for next semester.  Fifty-seven percent of the children don’t have adult supervision at home this summer, twelve percent of the kids didn’t see their parents as they headed off to bed, nearly thirty percent of these children only saw their parents once per week.

“Happy” who is in the fourth grade lost his mother when he was real young, his father was diagnosed with stomach cancer six years ago, the family economics are hounding down on him, every single summer, he’d gone to the fields to work in the scorching sun, and, his tiny arms are filled with wounds from the cuts from the grass, but, to help lessen the load on his cancer-prone father, he’d never made a single complaint; recently, his grandmother had a stroke, toward the summer that’s coming, Happy told, that he just wanted to work harder in the fields, so he could help make more money for his family.

“Sunny”, who’s also in the fourth grade, lived in the distant regions, there are four members of his family, and because there were no pipes in his house, he and his family had to use the underground water for cleaning and drinking, and, if the weather got cold, the family would burn wood, to heat up the water for use.  Sunny’s father is ill, the family lived off of the migrated mother’s less than $20,000N.T. pay from the factory, in order to take care of his mildly retarded younger brother, he’d bathed him, fed him, took care of his own younger brother’s daily living, without a word of complaint.  When the reporters asked him about his wish for the summer, Sunny said, “It would be wonderful, if my family and I can travel some place for a day!”

These wishes, seemed so simple to us all, but, they are all, distant and hard-to-reach dreams for these kids, because they were born, into difficult situations, and yet, they still all faced the challenges in their separate lives, with a positive attitude, and that, is something we can all take from.

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Filed under Awareness, Childhood, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Family Matters, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Maturation, Observations, Properties of Life, Social Issues, Values, White Picket Fence