The Lies of the Ninth

The memories of trauma, suppressed, because the individual, was way too young, and, something DID happen, maybe, just not the version of the story that this person had told, to her/his, adult counterparts, translated…

There was something that happened when I was younger, that impacted me, something that’s, a part of, my chaotic memories…

At nine, my mother wanted me to test into the GT classes of an all-star elementary school, that’s, farther away from where I used to live, I’d gotten in, and, she’d, transferred me there.

On the first day of school, as I arrived home, I’d told her, that I was, almost, abducted by a bad guy, there was, a woman in a covered up motorcycle helmet that told me she’d brought the lunches for my mother to me.  I’d told my mother: back then, I was playing outside the gates of my school, and the woman asked me to go with her, I’d felt that something wasn’t quite right, because mom wouldn’t do that, and I’d, run scared, back to the school.  But, I wasn’t, acquainted with my new school yet, it took me, a long time, to finally, get back into my class.

As I’d told, I’d, started crying scared.  My mother was shocked, the very next day, she’d, called up the school, as well as the Department of Education to, we’d, almost gotten the case on the press; within a week’s time I was, transferred, back to my former school again.

But actually, this, was a story I’d, made up.

illustration from UDN.com

There were, two primary motives of me lying: to find a justifiable reason for me heading into school ate, and find a way to go back to my former school, that’s not based off of “I don’t want to go to my new school”.

Two years ago, with my deep-rooted guilt, I’d, told my parents this truth, admitted that I was, lying to them from back when in the family therapist’s office, and I’d, made up the stories, from an illustrated book my parents bought for me, “I Have a Way”, and, the details of what the woman whom I’d told had, tried to take me away, came from the illustration of a person in a helmet, trying, to take a child away in the pages.

Because my story was, fully-thought out, without any flaws, to the point, that my parents, as well as the staff members of the school all thought it was, true, for almost, twenty years.

Do children who read, really behave themselves?  The knowledge I’d gained from reading, taught me how to commit a crime.

And yet, up to recently, I’d felt, chaotic of this memory.

There was a part of me that felt, that might there have been, something that’s, happened to me, even though it may not have been, the version of the stories I’d told?  How else, would I come up with, the specific details, including what the woman sounded like, what she was dressed in, what her scooter looked like…………

The me at nine years old, I’d, watched the scenes, played on in my mind, as I’d, “retold” my mother what had, happened (and if I remembered correctly, the highest scoring section of my G.T. exams was in the “thinking skills in space and images”).  And, I’d, started crying like there was, no tomorrow, to the point I was, trembling hard, if I were lying, then, how come I had, such physiological response?  Could it be, that I’d, fooled myself into believing?  Or, had there actually, been something that’s, too awful, too shocked, for the me at age nine to accept?  So I’d, forgotten, and, altered this memory of mine, to make it, fictitious?

Several years ago, I’d gone to a hypnosis therapy session, to deal with the problem of ‘feeling a ton of pain, but I can’t cry”.  This was, completely opposite to the me at nine, who’d, “made up a story, that’s, false, and cried like it actually, happened.”

And yet, at the physical classes, I’d shown, the “reflexive response outbursts” in crying, as the coach helped me to relax my diaphragm, I’d, started, wailing hard, it was, a sort of cry, from the depth of my body.

The coach told me, that the diaphragm is a place where, “unresolved emotions are, stored”, so, there may be, some sort of, very deep trauma from long ago, that’s still, not yet, entered, into my consciousness, stayed still inside of my body.

I’d instinctively felt, that in the lies I’d told when I was nine, there might have been something, that’s made me stuck, as a twenty-nine year-old, grown up right now.

So, something definitely happened to you, because of the physiological response of your body, and this sort of a response only comes, when the body had, experienced, something that’, extremely, traumatic, so, maybe something HAD, happened to you at age nine, just not as you’d, remembered it, being almost abducted by a stranger, maybe, it was, something else, that’s, more serious, because the body, it, NEVER lies, and it’s, up to this individual, to dig even deeper, if s/he can, to find out exactly, what had, happened to her/him in his childhood years, and resolve what happened to her/him, piece, by piece.  And, until this person resolved everything, s/he will, always, have that thing that’s, blocking her/his path, from reaching her/his, full potential.

The Anti-Social Personalities Easily Straying Off of the Wrong Paths in Life

Here’s a little history of the suspect, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The arson suspect, Tseng who burned down the home for elderly, was suspected of having antisocial personality, the scholars pointed out, that those with antisocial personality traits are impulsive in behaviors, lacking moral conscience, can’t abide by the law; and when s/he hurt others, s/he feels, nothing at all; the psychiatrist, Huang said, that the antisocial personalities are related to the people’s upbringing.

The professor from the crime prevention major of Zhongzhen University, Cheng stated, that antisocial personality disorder needed to be formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist, with the observation of the individual’s behaviors for over six months, for the diagnosis to be confirmed.

The assistant general manager of the VMH in Taichung, the psychiatrist, Huang, stated, that most of the antisocial traits were made by the interaction with one’s own external environments, in the process of coming of age, the person can’t learn how to interact with others correctly, to solve the problems that s/he encounters in life, and often resorted, to the most extreme of all measures, using physical assault, and violence, which made people fear them.

And so, this, is made by nurture, because of your upbringing, you’d, become antisocial, or maybe, a predisposing of the antisocial personality traits are needed, either way, these people are, ticking time bombs in the societies, and you don’t know when they’re all going, KA-BOOM!!!

 

 

 

 

 

An Elderly Man in His Eighties Leapt the Building and Committed Suicide…His Final Note Was Taped to His Hands

Some bad news here, from the Newspapers, translated…

The eighty-one year-old elderly got tired of being ill for a very long time, early yesterday morning at around five, he’d climbed to the roof of his twelve-story building, took the leap downward, and died, the body was discovered, with a note, taped to the left hand, the families confirmed, that it was, in the elderly’s own handwriting, and, they have NO opinions of the police, ruling it as a suicide.

The police stated, that most who’d committed suicide would leave the last note where they’d leapt, or inside one’s own home, there would be rare incidents where the suicide notes were taped to the person who’d committed suicide, suspected, that Lin may fear, that after he was gone, nobody could find his final note, that, was why he’d taped it to himself, but, this action had made the police feel, that the cause of his death wasn’t so clear cut.

The police investigated, that the elderly and his three daughters and a son all lived in the same community in Sanchong District, but they all had apartment complexes, the elderly lived with a foreign bedside assistant; the family said, that the elderly had been diagnosed with multiple illnesses, Parkinson’s, bloating in his lungs, couldn’t control his bowel movements and bladder, before he’d died, he’d complained to them on how he’d wanted to die.

Yesterday at around five in the morn, the elderly man took advantage of the time when his bedside assistant was fast asleep, climbed to the roof of his twelve floor building, took the leap downward, as the neighbors heard the loud sound, at first, they thought that it was a gas explosion, and called the police to report it as a gas explosion, as the police came to the scene, they’d found the elderly man, lying in a pool of blood, with multiple fractures, and because the impact of him, hitting the ground was very hard, his right arm was severed from his torso, he was, clearly, dead.

In his suicide note, the elderly mentioned of how he’d been diagnosed with multiple serious condition, that he’s elderly, and didn’t want to be troublesome to his families; after the family members read the note, confirmed that it was in his handwriting, and didn’t have any rebuttal toward the police, ruling the man’s death as a suicide.

This, is what old age will look like, because you’re ill, and, you feel, that life isn’t worth anything anymore, so, you’d committed suicide, and maybe, being sick can get you in an awful mood, and, being elderly makes you think, that there’s not that much keeping you here, but, what about your children?  Or those who cared about, and loved you?

Spent All Their Assets? The Mother and Her Two Sons Were Found to Have Committed Suicide in Their Mansion

The story of suicides, from the Front Page Sections, the cause being how the individuals can no longer handle the demands of the realities that they’re faced with, translated…

The forty-nine year old eldest son had cerebral palsy, was taken care of by his seventy-five year-old aging mother, the forty-six year old youngest would go outdoors when he’s hungry, they’d sold their storefront property just three years ago, and now, they’re thinking of selling the mansion they’re living in now.

Yesterday, a mansion in the Dali District of Taichung had the scent of dead corpse flowing from it, the police and fire department were called, they’d broken in, and found the seventy-five year-old elderly woman, Wu, along with her two sons, Hong, dead, in their second floor bedrooms, in the rooms, the firefighters found burnt charcoal on barbeque racks, and they’d suspected, that they’d been dead for over three days; the police suspected that it was the household economics that’s caused the three of them to commit suicide.

The police investigated, that the Hongs had sold their storefront property, just three years back, with the price of fifteen million dollars, that it was paid in cash, recently, there came the sounds of how the Hongs are pressured by the debts of three million dollars N.T., they’d asked to sell the property, the mansion they’re currently living in right now, but, they’d put the house on the market for six months, without any offers or prospect buyers at all, in March, they’d pulled it off the markets, and, whether or not they’d committed suicide because of their pressing debts, or was it because they couldn’t sell their property, to pay up the debts that they owed, it’s still in need of investigations.

At four in the afternoon, the police were notified, that there was a rancid odor coming from a mansion on Hsin-Fang Road of Dali District, the fire department arrived on scene, broke the door open, and found Wu, in her second floor bedroom, on her side, by the lounge chair by her own bed, Wu’s forty-nine year-old and forty-six year-old sons, on the bed, face up, the three of their bodies are already blackened and bloated, and the coroners believed, that they’d been dead, for over three days already.

The police said, that the bedroom door was sealed shut with towels, and there were barbeque stands set up at the scene, there was no outside forces that showed signs of a break in, nor were there suicide notes, as to whether or not the three of them had committed suicide, assisted one another in their own deaths, or, was it, caused by something from the outside, it’s yet to be clarified.

The police found, that Wu’s eldest son has cerebral palsy, and Wu took care of him by the day, and she’d gone to the nearby parks, to do her exercise dances; the youngest son was unemployed, and drawn in by the internet, the residents nearby told, that the youngest would only show his face outside when he was hungry, and would keep his eyes glued to the computers at home normally.

The police said, Hong’s father who’s a public office employee died a decade ago, and the family still gets half of the father’s retirement pension payments, Hong’s mother (Wu) receives money from the elderly assistance, the second son died by leaping off a building to commit suicide; the family had sold their storefront three years ago, and is with cash income, they seemed well off; six months ago, the youngest son wanted to sell the mansion they’re living in right now, but couldn’t agree on the price with a prospect buyer, so the deal broke off.

The realtor said, that six months ago, the Hongs asked him to help sell the property they’re staying at currently, the asking price was $1.88 million N.T.s, and there was a buyer who’d offered them $1.5 million N.T.s and was turned down, because the family was very rigid on the price that they’re asking, so, the deal never went through, and, this March, the realtor told them, that he couldn’t manage to sell their property for them.

So, this family is probably, pressed by money, but, there may be OTHER underlying reasons for their suicide, but, there’s no way that anybody can know that now, they’re all dead!

Hearts Have Turned into Stone

Hearts have turned into stones, did they all, gaze upon, the head of Medusa?  Hearts that have turned into stones, what happened, to them, why were they all, petrified, frozen, in FEAR, did they all, go through something, unimaginable, to the human mind?

Hearts have turned into stone, and, there’s, NOTHING we can do about it, there’s NO way, of melting them again, because they’re all, solid now, and, putting them all through the sauna of ice and fire, still wouldn’t do ANY good at all!

Hearts have turned into stones, so, what do we do now?  Is there no way, we can, bring them all back again, NOT even by that first true love’s kiss?  Hearts have turned into stone, because of everything that they’d weathered, and, turning into stone became the ONLY methods that those hearts knew of, to protecting themselves, from getting hurt all over again, and so, turning to stone, they all will.

Hearts have turned into stone, there’s NOTHING we can do, but to, place them all, inside those ironclad boxes, then, bury them deep, into the grounds, without hoping, OR expecting, that one day, they will all, WAKE back up, or come to life once more…

Hearts have turned into stone, perhaps, it’s, all for the best, because at least, a heart that’s made of stone won’t bleed again, right???

She’d Murdered Her Own Mother, Gotten High on Drugs, in a Daze for Five Hours…Then, Turned Herself in, to the Police

From the Front Page Sections, a tragedy of a family, translated…

She was displeased at her mother’s words, “You had dragged me and your younger sister down with you”, after she’d murdered her mother, she’d told her younger sister, “You’re finally free”, her younger sister told, “We had a very unhappy childhood…”

A thirty-one year-old woman Pan in Kaohsiung, because she hadn’t gotten along with her own mother for long period of time, two afternoons, she’d bought a fruit knife, gone to her mother’s place, to confront her, Pan started stabbing her mother using the fruit knife twice on the right side of her mother’s neck, the fifty-three year-old mother died, had her throat slit.

After Pan had murdered her mother, she’d started using ketamine, and fell into a daze next to her mother’s corpse, and five hours later, she’d told her younger sister what she’d done, told her younger sister, “You’re now, delivered from pain”, and was accompanied by her sister, to turn herself in.  After the D.A.s interrogated her, they’d asked her to be taken into custody, which was approved.

The police investigated, that Pan had medical history of being diagnosed with bipolar, is currently unemployed, and got into a drug habit, lived with her mother, who has a mildly mental illness manual, also diagnosed with bipolar mother, and the two of them would argue a lot, over the smallest matters.  A week ago, after Pan had a verbal altercation with her mother, her mother kicked her out of the house, and changed the lock on the door, and so, Pan could only move in with her younger sister.

When the police interrogated her, Pan told them, that lately, her mother had come to her younger sister’s place to harass her, she’d gotten more and more furious, as she thought about it, two afternoons ago at five in the afternoon, she’d gone to the marketplace, bought a fruit knife, at close to six in the evening, she ran back to her mother’s house, after the mother opened the door, they’d started fighting again shortly; the mother just kept putting her down over, and over, and over, and cussed at her, “You are the one who was dragging both me and your younger sister down!”, in a moment of heated anger, she took out the knife, SLASHED her mother on the right side of her neck twice hard, her mother fell, and, blood came pouring out of her neck.

In the process of hacking up her own mother, she’d accidentally cut herself on the left side of her own palm, she’d dressed her own wound, and washed the knife off, sat on the chair next to her mother’s dead body, started using ketamine; she left, at around a little past ten in the evening, rode her motorcycle to her younger sister’s, she’d accompanied her mother’s corpse for almost five hours after she’d killed her.

The moment Pan saw her younger sister, she’d told her, “I’d saved you from your miseries!”, the sister became confused at what she meant, and, after she’d forced the truth out of her sister, she’d learned that her older sister had murdered her mother; after the younger sister consoled with her for an hour, Pan finally turned herself in to the police in the early morning hours.

The police investigated, that Pan had two prior records of domestic violence, four years ago, she’d injured her own mother with a knife, after the police were called, they’d reported the incident to the Department of Social Services; last year in September, Pan became verbally abusive toward her mother, the mother notified the police, but never got a restraining order.

The man in charge of the local borough said, that Pan’s parents were divorced when she was young, eleven years ago, her mother moved into the borough with her, and back then, Pan still had a job, but five years ago, she got fired, and took to drug abuse, and, that, was when everything started going south; because neither the mother and her had work, they’d lived off of the mother’s handicap payments by the government, as well as her younger sister’s support, and the two of them would often argue about money, and, every time when the mother was unhappy, she’d kicked her daughter out.

The police disclosed, that because Pan didn’t have any money, she’d often starved, in the first half of March, she’d once taken a knife, to rob a super convenience store, called, “I’m going to ROB you!”, begged the cashiers to call it in, because she wanted to be on the “free meal plans of jail”.

After the incident, Pan’s younger sister didn’t blame her, and, toward the inquiries of the outside, she’d started crying, told, that her mother had been emotionally unstable for long term, would kick the doors down, and use verbal insults on the two of them a lot, that they had a very unhappy childhood, “Nobody would kill her/his mother without reasons at all.”, this was all too painful, for her older sister too.

The coroner examined, that the cause of Pan’s mother’s death was from the loss of too much blood of the severing of her right carotid, as well as her windpipes.

And so, she finally CRACKED, and, this, is still a BUILD-UP over time, and, because the woman was high on drugs, she’d become impulsive, and, unable to judge her own behaviors, and this, could’ve been avoided, had someone STEP in earlier, but, it wasn’t, because this had gone on, for WAY too long, and this time, the woman finally CRACKED!!!

Marching Out of the Valleys of Depression, Don’t Give Up on the Treatments

Translated…

The incidence of the German Wings airplane, hitting into a mountain, causing 150 passengers to die, and, the black box that’s already been recovered shed some light to what actually happened, and the officials believed, that the crash was caused by the copilot, and confirmed that he had a history of depression, and had been hospitalized due to his suicidal attempts.

In recent years, because of the advances in medicine, the mental illness of depression became better known and understood, but, what is certain was, that depression CAN be treated, and the methods of treatment rnaged from biological, psychological and social ways, the writer of this article had been assisting patients long term, and offers a couple of suggestions, to make the treatments better accepted:

1. Losing the Bad Reputation: the causes of psychological disorders are related to one’s physical wellbeing, getting treatment after being ill can greatly improve the chance of healing, from before, when the psychological disorders were thought to be untreatable, most of those who have it feel ashamed for having the troubles, and even stayed away from the doctors, this can only cause the illnesses to get worsened.

Actually, there are a wide variety of medication for depression to choose from, plus the variations of group of client-centered therapies, as well as family therapies, so long as the individuals are willing to face their conditions, not giving up on the treatments, there’s a huge chance that their lives are going to get normal.

2. Improving the Social Support Systems: the moods of the depressed individual can be improved with the help of medication, and, if the families and friends around the person are willing to listen, to accompany, it would help improve the motivation of the patients to get treated, and, the family can also help reduce the stressors in the living environment, thus, greatly reduces chances of relapses.

3. Be Patient as One is Undergoing Treatment: psychological illnesses are a long-term condition, even though, there are no apparent symptoms, the follow-ups are still needed, following a routine is a must, for instance, stay away from smoking, alcohol, illegal substances, not staying up all night long, pay special attention to one’s diets, sleep, exercises, etc., etc., etc., and, there are bound to be side effects to the medications, and you can learn, to adjust to accommodate yourselves to these side effects.

4. Establish a Sense of Pathology: most of those who were diagnosed, after treatment, will come to know one’s own condition better, and would worry that one might have moments of weakness where one does something one regrets, and so, the professionals encouraged to accompany those who were diagnosed with depression, other than going into therapy, the reminders of helping the patients feel better when the patients are beginning to spiral downward is also very important.This, is in the light of the airplane crash, where the pilot was depressed, but was still allowed to fly, and, it’s all in hindsight too, had this person gone through the needed measures for the treatment of his own depression, then, so many lives would’ve been spared, but they weren’t, and this, is still all, hindsight, working ITS magic!

The plane crash was very awful, but, we wouldn’t stay off of airplanes for the rest of our lives, because we knew, that this, was just an accident, that we can reduce the risks of it happening again, by applying the needed measures, like facing the psychological illnesses, the public can use a more proactive, more accepting attitude, through working in all areas, from prevention to treatment, to help those who are diagnosed, to have as normal a life as they possibly can.

This, is in the light of the airplane crash, where the pilot was depressed, but was still allowed to fly, and, it’s all in hindsight too, had this person gone through the needed measures for the treatment of his own depression, then, so many lives would’ve been spared, but they weren’t, and this, is still all, hindsight, working ITS magic!