Category Archives: Gender Roles

The Supper He Made

So glad that it’s NOT my day to cook today!!!  Translated…

Looking at the table’s worth of food he’d prepared, I was, moved, became, dumbfounded!  The steamed crab, the pepper shrimps, the pan-seared tofu, the ginseng black-boned chicken…………all of which are, my favorites.

But three months ago before, from when my husband started, cooking the suppers on the weekends, it wasn’t, that wonderful scent of food that made my mouth watered that came out of the kitchen, and, what he’d made then, tasted, exactly like what I would take out to throw as trash, what’s worse was, he would NOT allow anybody, to criticize his, cooking skills.

To fight to my right to NOT cook on the weekends, I’d fought with him, for almost five years, him being, too macho, and no matter what, he just couldn’t accept the fact, that I do NOT want to cook on the weekends.  Back then he’d stated it too clearly, that we can go out to eat every now and then, but not every weekend.

Being raised by the feminist era, I naturally could NOT accept the time that women are allowed to have off from being a wife and/or a mother.  Taking care of the family during the week, I know I’m reasonable, for NOT wanting to make the meals on the weekends.  Should the mothers shoulder everything?

illustration from

And, we’d disagreed, more and more, and the meals on the weekends became, a war zone, the stresses was, building, I just, wanted to, get away from the warzone, and every time weekend rolled around, I’d, wanted to, not go home for supper, and not wanted my own families to worry, in the end, I can only, wander alone on the streets.  Then, my husband got into a silent treatment war, and I felt, defeated, over my own marriage.

One day, at supper, my child asked me abruptly, what his grandma liked to eat from what I cooked?  I was stumped, then, said, “tell the truth, I’d never cooked anything for your grandmother ever!”

My child was surprised, “What?  Grandma had never had anything you cooked?”

My husband who was already finished, looked at me instantly, then, lowered his head back to his cell phone.

I told my son, “before I wed, I was my mother’s baby girl, she’d never made me cook, told me that cooking was hard and hot, and even as we go home to visit her, she still wouldn’t allow me to cook.”

“So, is that why you cook so much right now, because you love it?”, he continued asking.  “I don’t like to cook, actually, I HATE it!”

“Then why are you cooking every day?”, my son actually hoped that he could have burgers every day.

“because nobody will cook for me, because I need to watch out for your health!  That’s why I’d, grit my teeth, and no matter how I hated it, I still, cooked every single day!”

his turn to cook!

photo from online

At this time, my husband’s cell phone had, turned black and he’d, failed to notice, because he was too focused, “eavesdropping” on my son and I.  And, this conversation may have, touched some part of him, and, he’d, turned that into the table’s worth of meal three months later, on this, very day.

And so, all it took, was for you, to LET your husband KNOW, that you got tired of having to make every single meal, but, he’d not understood, because you NEVER told him verbally, because you probably thought, that he should, already KNOW it, but he didn’t, NOT until he’d eavesdropped into that conversation you had with your son.

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Filed under Awareness, Choices, Gender Roles, Life, Marriages, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Why Be a Princess When You Can Be a Queen???

This one, is for all y’all girls out there!!!

Why be a princess, when you can be a queen???  Because a queen is put in charge, of an ENTIRE nation, while a princess, well, she can just, get dolled up, and sit pretty, as she waited for her prince to come, AND rescue her?  That, would be an EASIER life, isn’t it?

But think about it, being a queen IS being in charge, and, being a princess, well, your lives, are solely RELIANT on someone else’s behaviors, like if your man wasn’t happy, then, you’d be depressed too, because he is your sun and your skies, and, so, eventually, YOUR lives would circle around him, and that’s not yet including, ALL those little RUGRATS that you will be POPPING out for him either.

If you’re a princess, then, you’d have a BIG chance, of getting TURNED into the MAID, and, you still don’t have until MIDNIGHT, until your fantasies are O-V-E-R.  Why be a princes, IF you can be a queen?  Well, some of you might believe, that running an entire nation, overseeing EVERYTHING, big AND small in that realm, is just, way too troublesome, but hey, would you rather live under someone else’s emotional ups and downs, or, BE in charge of everything around you, that’s happening around your lives?

Why be a princess, IF you can be a queen?  That’s easy, because a queen leads, while a princess, well, a princess still sleeps, in HER state of dormancy, and, from the looks of things, well, she ain’t comin’ OUT of a COMA yet, and besides, you would NOT want to kiss a toad, and risk, turning yourselves into a frog too, would you?  Didn’t think so!!!

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The Boundaries of One Another’s Interactions with Members of the Opposite Sex


My coworker showed up at the office with black rings around his eyes, complained how he wasn’t able to sleep last night.  Everybody joked about how he’d gotten to the age where insomnia set in, he’d laughed bitterly, “No, I’d had a fight with my wife.”, they were the model couple, rarely had any disagreements, and so, we were all very curious, as to what had happened.

“It’s all A’s fault, for LINE-ing me, said something that’s a joke, but, I wasn’t close to my phone, and, my wife went to check my phone, as she heard the alert sound, and, her face changed colors.”—heard that it was about A, we could all understand, how bad my coworker’s going to get it, because A loved telling jokes, including the sexist kinds too, and, those who don’t know her personally, can easily, misunderstand her.  Plus A posted her pictures from over a decade ago on LINE, she looked like a hottie, it’s a wonder, that my coworker’s wife got jealous.

My coworker explained to his wife a very long time, but, she’s still very angry.  After he’d made us all laugh, my coworker changed his tone to serious, said, “I’d never known how important I am to my own wife, and this time, it’d shown.  My wife wanted me to empathize, that if it were her, joking, laughing with her male colleagues, would I NOT feel anything?  And her words made me realize that I must, DRAW the boundaries.”

Similar things had happened to me, many, many years ago too, once I’d gotten into conversation with a male coworker, I’d not noticed how husband’s face changed colors.  After a few days of fuming, he’d told me, that I’d chatted with my coworker for too long, and, right then and there, I’d heard what he was actually saying, and, right then and there, I’d played coy with him, “You’re angry?”

“If it were you, wouldn’t you get mad too?”, he’d replied, self-righteously.  And ever since, that ruler from inside my mind was, put to work, until my husband, in order to help a female friend, sort through her emotions, he’d talked with her the entire night, the same topic surfaced.  I’d threw a fit, believed that he couldn’t even make time to hear his own wife out, but made the time to hear someone else.  After we’d both calmed down, we’d set up the rules, then, we’d ceased fire.

The boundaries between men and women are like the lines drawn on the ground with chalk, as you’d stepped on it, over, over and over again, the line will become more and more blurred, if you don’t draw it back on again, then, the line will eventually, cease, to exist.  The preciousness of a husband and wife lies in that they respect one another, and, in current day, when the high-tech products are all over the places, we must be more careful, in how we transmit our messages, until we want some huge tidal waves to attack our ordinary lives.

But, if you ask me, this, is still just two people, PROJECTING their own insecurities onto one another, I mean, I get, that you can get jealous if your wife/husband talked to someone from work so long, but hey, there’s NO point of getting jealous, and, you should just, VOICE out your concerns, at the moment of the incident, to CLEAR up the A-I-R, like the husband and wife here, they’d both held it down for a bit, and, you KNOW how those things have the tendency to ferment, and that, was why, these two instances almost went OUT of control!


Filed under Being Exposed, Broken Promises, Choices, Communications, Connections, Everyone Else's Fault, Expectations, Gender Roles, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Romance, Saving a Marriage, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Translated Work, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

The Man in Charge of the House, the Woman, Outside

Flipping over the tradition here that’s for sure!!!  Translated…

With the advances of time, there’s no longer that forceful tone of voice on stressing how men are supposed to work outside the homes and women, inside anymore, but, hearing about a man who stayed at home, most people would still frown over it.

Before I met my husband, I’d carried the traditional values too, hoped that my husband could work outside, and the wife can stay at home, and just, watch the kids.  And still, my idealism falls far from my reality, I have a job which I enjoyed working and loved very much, and, my husband is a soho who stay at home, but, I can say, with confidence, that I am, very happy.

My husband’s work is busy, sometimes, he’d waken up earlier and turned in later than I had, but gladly, he has flexible hours, and so, he took charge of cooking the meals, and chauffeuring the kids, all I need to do, was the basic cleaning.  Some problems that normal families met up with, not in my house, for instance, the children not being close to their fathers, or, both the couple worked, and, there’s no time to cook the meals.  My husband could set time aside, to accompany the kids, I’m truly blessed.

When I’d asked my kids who they loved more, mom or dad, they’d told me, “both”.  And, gladly for my husband, I got to have a warm meal as I came home from work every night; my husband had even cooked according to recipes or from the cooking shows on television, tailored to the nutrition and the varieties too, I’m truly grateful for how much heart he put into it.

Actually, the older generations still might feel, that it would be unfitting for a man to stay at home, that I may strain myself out, and were mistaken to believe that I’m the one, shouldering ALL the household responsibilities, so at first, they’re very against this way of life from the start, but, as the time passes, my husband proved to them, that he was hardworking, and so, everybody felt how much he’d given to the family and received the affirmations too.  We’re very proud, and satisfied, with our ways of life right now.

I truly understood, that so long as you’re willing to pour your hearts into it, whichever way of life you choose, you two can live together, get along well, and maintain a peacefully household that runs smoothly.

So, here we have, a household, where the mom goes out to work, while the dad stays at home, and, at first, their families are against it, but then, the couple showed them, that they’d made it work out fine.  So, who says, that a man is not fitting, cooking in an apron, this one disproves just that theory all right!

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Filed under Choices, Expectations, Family Dynamics, Gender Roles, Life, Marriages, Properties of Life, Socialization

Class, Let’s Go Find Us Some Girls


Back in school, a group of us, hormone-raging boys getting together, and the topics of our discussion are already on girls, and, the conclusions of our discussions are always, “I want to get me a girl!”.  And, we can’t EVER get that innocent mindset of our seventeenth year back again, the girls are so leisurely, like creatures from another planet, what, are they all thinking of?

And now, my daughter is in college, plus I’d taught for over twenty years, my female students would often share with me what’s on their minds, and, I’d finally learned, that most of the boys had missed the BUS.

A very good looking, and economically well-off female student, after she had a rough marriage, she’d sighed, “If I’d only had the wisdom on mate selection, then, my life will not get stuck here.”

“If you can have your youth to do over again, what qualities would you look for in a man?”, I was curious.

With a daughter already, past age thirty, the female student said, with this set tone of voice, “Someone who gives habitually.”

“The habit of giving?”

“Yes, I worked with my ex, he’s good looking, I felt, that he was someone I could rely on, but, I didn’t expect, that he’d be so selfish to give to me.”

“But, before you wed, guys usually mask up their bad qualities, how would you be able to tell, if he’s the giving kind?”

“Teacher, I’d found that you can watch his interaction with his friends, a selfish man wouldn’t have that many real friends, after I wed, I’d realized, that my ex had only coworkers, and, he had barely, NO friends he could talk to.”

Last week, as I’d gone to visit my wife’s eldest sister, both families, with college age girls, we’d started talking about mate-selection, my eldest sister-in-law mentioned a similar standard to what my female student mentioned—look at how he’s getting along with his families.  “A guy who is hovered over by his kin probably couldn’t keep a good relationship with his wife later on, because his wife becomes his closest of kin.”, my wife’s eldest sister-in-law continued, “people are creatures of habit, a person who’s used to being looked after couldn’t start looking after someone else after s/he wed.”

I’d recalled the four brothers that we are, of my third eldest, he’s the most hardworking, although he was diagnosed with cancer, but, after he’d returned to the workforce, he was able to attract my third sister-in-law who’s quite good looking and a great catch.  Later on, the two of them worked together, started up a company of their own, and now, they own four separate companies.  Turns out, that the good habits of your younger years, not only will they feed to the blessings from work in the future, it could also help you find the love that lasts for life.

My college age girlfriend is now, taken up with a boy, my wife asked me why I’m not at all worried, I’d smiled and answer, “I had done my ‘investigation’, that boy had gone to work at construction sites with alongside his dad, he’d helped built the MRT stations in Taipei too, plus, he’s very kind toward his families, and my heart is at ease with this kind of habitually giving to others kind of guy.”

Of course, a love that allows people to give their lives for, is a never-ending coursework in life, my daughter, as well as my own student, they both have a long way to go.  But, as a father, and a teacher too, I’d hoped, that the male students won’t keep making the same mistakes when they were younger.  Life is a long and winding river, with enough energies saved up, it will surely, merge with another huge river, and the energy that’s accumulated is not the brand new hairstyle, but the ability to help do the dishes without being asked, or to not slack off during cleaning time in school.

So, men, who are looking to find the ladies, the next time the bell rings for the cleaning period, don’t just fall flat at your seats, DO pick up those brooms and dustpans, and run to your designated cleaning area, because the girls are waiting, for a man, who can shoulder up his responsibilities.

So, this one teaches you H-O-W to observe someone, from the smallest perspectives, and, what better place is there, to examine someone for who he really is, at his own home, after all, you’re most comfortable at home, and, that, is when everything that’s BAD about you shows, and, it is important, to watch the interactions of someone with her/his family, but that, would still NOT be the primary or KEY determinant of how good a man he is, consider every single aspect there!

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Filed under Gender Roles, Interpersonal Relations, Issues on Gender, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Maturation, Observations, Relationship

A Soft-Spoken Woman Who’s Able-Bodied in Her Field of Work

The features of a woman, translated…

Lily was a classmate of mine from middle school, we were very close.  Even though she looked ordinary, but she has lips made of sugar and honey, and would offer people compliments, made a ton of friends, and, everybody wants to be her friend.

After she’d graduated from business high school, she was introduced to her husband, and after they wed, they’d moved to Mexico to live.  Her husband works in industrial designs, but she has NO clue of how that worked.  And because Lily doesn’t like getting bored, and she didn’t want to just stay at home and sit, so she’d started her own business.  And because she’s articulate, and always wears a smile on her face, so, her business is heading up, in the end, her husband gave up his own career, and worked alongside her in business.

Two years ago, Lily’s son wanted to start in business in Taiwan, in order to help him, she’d given up on the career she’d worked so hard to set up in Mexico, moved back to Taiwan.  I’d asked her, if she’s adjusted to the lifestyle and the tempo of living in Taipei?  Her face showed to this bliss, as she’d replied, “Everything’s wonderful in Taiwan, of course I’m well-adjusted.”

Then she’d told me, that although she had a good life in Mexico, but everyday, she worried that she might get robbed, as they lived in Mexico, they’d been robbed four times already.  She said, that you must dress like you’re poor in Mexico, and that she’d used recycled bags as her purse, otherwise, you’d get robbed easily on the streets; that Taiwan is better, safe, free, no need to worry about the dangers of being robbed.

At the end, she’d said something that impressed me deeply, “Women, no matter how capable and able-bodied, should behave like a little girl in front of their men, to transfer all the credits to men, so, he can feel proud about himself.”

Seeing how Lily stood, soft-spoken, before her tall and handsome husband, she’d infected me with the bliss of her marriage too.

And so, this still shows how a woman must be multifaceted, this woman she’d played multiple roles, she’s a strong woman in business, and, in front of her husband she’d behaved like a coy little girl, so he can feel like a man, who’s the breadwinner of the house, and yeah, that may work, for this woman, but hey, when you losers are not around, and, OMG, there’s a cockroach, do we, start screaming like little girls, or do we take up our shoe, and WHACK!!!  Exactly!

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Marriages, Self-Images, Socialization, Translated Work, Women's Issues

Where Art Thou, My Prince?

Humor me, for just this one, okay???

Where art thou, my prince, do you not KNOW how much my back hurt, having to lie, on this panel of glass coffin every single day and every single night, after I took that deadly bite from my stepmother’s poisonous TRUTH?  Why haven’t you come, and waken me up yet?

Where art thou, my prince?  Been waiting, to give myself to you (you’ve GOT to be shitting me here!!!) for since I can recall, and yet, you’re still running ‘round, LOST, trying to LOCATE the exact POINT of where my IVORY tower is.  Did your GPS fail?  Did you NOT update your APPS?  What’s happening over there?  Or, did you find, an alternative, but LOWER caste order WHORE for yourself already?  Bet she doesn’t feel as good as a VIRGIN like me!

Where art thou, my prince, won’t you come and play with my PET dragon?  I’d like to see, IF your steel armors are fire resistant, and your sword, sharpened enough.  Where art thou, my prince, I’m gettin’ super, DUPER bored (b/c I’m still extremely intelligent here???), gazing out, into the clouds (b/c I reside here, IN my IVORY tower!!!), wonderin’, did you get lost or something?  ‘cuz I’d moved, for over ten times in the last month, and now, my god DAMN ivory tower stands ERECT, on that island, where no men has ever been to, and oh yeah, one more thing, I’d just, recently TRAINED my dragons (picked up a couple MORE of those cold-blooded friends you know???) to breath fire, and that’s just ‘bout the coolest TRICK ever, anyways, let me know when you’re actually arrive, and, I’ll make sure, that I keep all my good little monster locked up, as they are all, very protective of their master: ME!








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Filed under Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Perspectives, Queen Tina's Fables

A Fairytale without the Princess

What kind of fairytale IS this?  A fairytale without a princess, well, that’s just WRONG, I mean, who the hell is Charming going to RESCUE?

A fairytale without the princess, that’s odd, where did she go?  Did she wake herself up?  Is that dragon tamed, and had it become an obedient “lizard” already?  Or, maybe, all the idiotic princes all became BAR-B-Q, and the dragon had them ALL for its meals?

A fairytale without the princess, that’s just not right, because a fairytale is always and forever going to be written, with a damsel in distress, living inside a HIGH tower, waiting for her prince to come and rescue her, with the variations of their varied comatose causes.

A fairytale without the princess, so, did the Seven Dwarfs each kissed Snow and she woke up?  Or, did the Princess REFUSED to kiss that ugly, slimy, yucky TOAD, NO matter WHAT her daddy tells her?  Or, did that spinning jenny’s needle get dipped in ARSENIC, and Sleeping Beauty touched it (b/c she was curious???), and end up dead?

A fairytale without the princess, that’s fitting to modern day, because NONE of us, REAL LIVE women ARE them dumb-blonde idiotic princess, sitting up in our ivory towers, waiting, for you M***ER F***ING (maxed out???) M-O-R-O-N-S, to come, and give us that one true love’s kiss, and, frankly, I for one, would still rather KISS my dogs, even IF they have halitosis (that’s BAD breath!!!)…

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Filed under Expectations, Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables, Socialization, Story-Telling, Values

Why is a Woman Labeled as “Unfitting” When She Chooses to Follow Her Heart???

From a story I read up on, about a princess in one of those European empires, who chased after her happiness, instead of following tradition.

As the story goes, the princess is forced to marry someone she doesn’t even like, and, you can imagine how their lives went, BAD, and, later on in her life, she’d met someone whom she gave her heart willingly to, and, her parents are against them being together (what kind of parents would stand in the way between their offspring and their offspring’s happiness???), and, she ended up, eloping with the man she loved, and her mother used her tears, to coerce her to go back to the castle and live with her husband, the man who’d treated her like a baby incubator.

And this story just made me wonder: how COME when a woman chases after what she wanted, the world has so many bad things to say about it?  I mean, you don’t see the world, RANTING on how a man had sex with multiple women while still married to HIS wife, do you?  No, so, why was this woman shunned, for following her heart?

Because the genders are NOT equal, not even CLOSE, and, as long as there are TWO separate genders in this world, there will NEVER be any equality, and I’m still waiting on the day, that all of you, stupid sons-of-bitches (not name calling still) get ELIMINATED, and that still ain’t happenin’ anywhere NEAR my lifetime that’s for sure!

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Filed under Awareness, Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Messed Up Values, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Happily Ever After without the Prince

Uh, hello, who the FUCK (like I said, this ain’t YO grannies’ fairytale!!!) says, that we women MUST have a prince, in order to live up to our separate happily ever afters???

Snow doesn’t need her Prince Charming to kiss her, to wake her up, the Seven Dwarfs all kissed her on the cheeks once, and, she became wide AWAKE!  Plus, it’s ALWAYS best to be kissed by friends, rather than “sucking FACE” with an IDIOT, isn’t it?

The Little Mermaid still gets intrigued by human objects, and, her curiosities were satisfied by the lighthouse keeper, who gave HER a lesson in NOT making her families worry about her, and, after she’d served her “term” in being grounded, he’d still placed those human objects into the currents, and, the currents still took those human things to her down under.

We ALL know what happened to Rapunzel already, so, I do NOT need to “cover” that part of the “woods” again.  After Sleeping Beauty fell into that deep slumber, she’d slept for an ETERNITY, because she was, the Insomniac Princess, and, being in a COMA gives her the chance, to finally catch UP on something she desperately needed: sleep.

And that bookworm, Belle, she’d tamed ALL the beast through reading, and using her wild imagination, and so, needless to say, she won’t be needing the Beast who was cursed from a Prince because he’d offended an old lady.

After the clock struck twelve, Cindy went back to her stepmother’s house, and lived her life, forever, as their maid, but, after her stepmother died, her stepsisters paid her well, so…

One thing still stayed the same though: and they ALL lived happily ever after, in their separate fairytale endings, as for that moronic ASShole?  Rumor has it, he got lost in the fairytale forest and got gobbled up (not like the Seven Little Sheep, Little Red & Granny Red) and this time, the Big Bad Wolf remembered to CHEW his food T-H-R-O-U-G-H-L-Y, because the last few times he didn’t, he’d ended up, paying that all too high a price: getting his stomach chopped open by the Lumberjack Dude, along with the Mama Sheep!)

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