Category Archives: Cause & Effect

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

A Child without Christmas

A child without Christmas, because s/he is orphaned, without love of anybody, left abandoned, in those drop boxes outside of those age-old churches…

A child without Christmas grows up, experiencing nothing BUT the icy cold weather, the coldness of other people’s stares, because s/he is unloved and unwanted.

here’s someone who probably wouldn’t experience Christmas as something wonderful, photo from online…

A child without Christmas, becomes lost around the holidays, and, everywhere s/he looks, there’s, so much love flowing from others’ lives, and, s/he grew even more resentful of life and fate!  A child without Christmas, how, does a child grow up without Christmas?  How can a child, NOT know ANY love, and still live to grow up into adulthood?  Or, maybe, the child without Christmas, had died, a long, long, long time ago, and, s/he became, another Ghost of Christmases Past?

A child without Christmas, feels the pain, creeping up, as the Christmas season draws near, and, s/he stopped, heading outdoors by mid to late-November, because the “scent” of the season grows stronger, as the year nears end………

how can you possibly think about what you’re getting for X’mas IF you can’t even have your most basic needs filled from day to day?  Photo from online…

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Filed under Being Alone, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Connections, Early Exposures, Interactions Shared with the World, Observations, Things Left Behind

An Elementary School Girl Used Her Scholarship Prize Money to Help Support Her Household, Two Elderly Men: Let Me Help Her Too

Kindness from all around, from the Newspapers, translated…

“Do let me help her!”, the special report from the papers this March about how the elementary school age girl, Wei-Han Wang lived with the low-income assistance money from the government that supported her family of four, consisting of her grandparents, and an older brother, how although life was hard, she’d not gotten beaten by it. As the newspaper printed her story, “Grandpa Yeh” came to the school himself, and told the officials he’d wanted to sponsor Wei-Han Wang by the month, and “Grandpa Chen” sent a letter, with cash enclosed, it’d warmed up Wei-Han Wang and her grandmother’s heart.

The news report pointed out, that Wei-Han Wang was only in the fourth grade, and yet, she’d accumulated a whole STACK of awards, from when she was in the first grade, she’d received $2,000N.T. for scholarship for excellent academic performances, which she’d turned into her grandmother, to help the household, and she’d earned scholarship money from a foundation too.

A week after her story was told after March 10th, an eighty-year-old elderly C.E.O., Yeh went to the elementary school to visit, after he’d met the principal, Chen, he’d shown her a newspaper clipping from his wallet, told her, “I want to help her out!”

Grandpa Yeh said, he grew up poor, that he’d started his business from nothing too, that now he has the abilities, and he was very moved by the young girl, Wang’s story, wanted to give her a better life, and so, he’d made the trip to Bitou, and expressed how he’d wanted to help Wei-Han Wang out each and every month.

The principal, Chen was moved, told him, that Wei-Han’s grandmother believed that there are those less fortunate than she, and turned Grandpa Yeh’s offer down, but Grandpa Yeh helped install the wind-resistant windows, he’d also bought the cleaning equipment for the outside walls of the school to help the school, so the kids won’t have to sit through the cold winters in class.

鼻頭國小女童王薇涵。 記者張芮瑜/攝影、翻攝a photo of the young girl in school, courtesy of the UDNpapers.

Several months later, on August 23, the elementary school received a registered mail signed by “Grandpa Chen”, with the newspaper clipping, and $6,000N.T. cash; Grandpa Chen who teaches as a professor at Poli-Sci University said, that he thumbed across the story about Wei-Han in the newspaper, he was very moved by the hardworking mannerism of the young girl, he’d clipped the news off, and placed it in the first page of his notebook, and would read it once every single day.

Awhile ago, he’d passed by the local office of the Department of Education, he’d asked the secretary there for the address of Wei-Han Wang’s school, wanted to send her something, also, to fulfill the wish he’d carried, for so long already.

As the Wangs received Grandpa Chen’s money for help, they were very moved, and, Wei-Han told the press happily, that after she’s older, she too, will help others in need as well.

鼻頭國小女童王薇涵生活困頓,卻不向命運低頭的事蹟,陳爺爺看到報導後,很欽佩寄上現...the letter written to the young girl by the elderly man who’d donated to help her and her family out, from UDN.com…

So, this, is how the cycle of kindness gets passed down, because someone saw something that moves him on the news, and, decided to help the person in need, and, the person in need who received the help, was touched, and she’d made a wish too, to help someone else in need when she’s able to, and so, the cycle of kindness is also, rolling here………

 

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Connections, Lending a Helping Hand, Life, News Stories, Observations, Properties of Life

The Husband Died, the Son is Ill, the Girlfriend Scammed the Woman for Forty Million Dollars

Vulnerability is the cause of being scammed here, from the Newspapers, translated…

A woman, Chen saw that her childhood best friend after she retired from the banks, she’d weathered through the death of her husband, her eldest son’s divorce, and she had a stroke herself, claimed that she knew a “master”, attempted of scamming her best friend for money using that she wanted to help her get rid of her bad luck, and, as her former colleague realized that something wasn’t quite right and called the police, that, was how this scam got busted, and the D.A. asked for Chen to be taken into custody, which the judge allowed for.

The police pointed out, that the sixty-seven year-old Chen grew up with the victim, and so, she’d trusted Chen, but, Chen too advantage of the victim’s husband dying, her eldest son fallen ill, her younger son in the U.S., working, she felt lonely and empty, in a year’s time, she’d managed, to scam her for about forty million dollars.

The police stated, that last year in August, Chen told the victim, that she knew a “master” who knew how to turn her luck around, to ward off her bad luck, but she must put up the money for the procedures, Chen used the fact, that the victim’s husband had died, because there was something bad in her karma, her eldest son’s divorce, as well as her stroke, are all, due to difficulties in her life, wanted the woman to pay a huge sum of money, to have rituals performed for her.

Later, Chen told the victim, that she was hexed by a former coworker, and that she must pay some money, to have the hex removed, or, she will lose her life, and her offspring will have bad luck too.  The victim had, given thirty million dollars N.T. to Chen, and Chen said, that she is in charge of manipulating the prices on the sales of properties, that she could make sure that the victim gets her property’s value increased, and the woman had signed over a house that she has in a very highly-priced neighborhood, to the bank, for ten million dollars N.T. for Chen to use.

Last month, Chen asked the woman to take her retirement pension which was very good from the banks out, to give it to her in cash, and the woman’s former colleagues realized that something wasn’t quite right, he’d notified the police, and, got the victim to use $100,000N.T., to lure Chen out, and, the police busted her.

Chen stated, that she was looking out for her old friend, that it wasn’t fraud, the police booked her on fraud, and, the judge allowed for her to be taken into custody after the D.A. pleaded the case.

So, this, is the downside of trusting someone too much, like this woman, who’d trusted the scam artist, and ended up, losing almost everything she had, but gladly, she didn’t, and this scam artist used her friendship with the woman, and she knew the woman’s state of mind, how she felt she was having a good run of bad luck, and that, was how she was able to scam her.

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Betrayals, Cause & Effect, Criminals, Current Events, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Issues of the Society, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, Scams, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Awareness, Story-Telling, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Just Relax

Yeah, uh, easy for you to say!!!  Translated…

Awhile, around the beginning of the spring season, my beloved cat, Boo-Boo became crippled.

He had retracted his right front leg, and, used his other three legs to walk, seeing my dearly beloved Boo-Boo who used to walk with such grace becoming a three-legged cat, my heart wrenched for him.

The doctor said it was arthritis, and so, I’d started administering the medications; but, when the doctor was treating his joints, he’d found out, that there was something wrong with his kidneys too, then, we must treat his kidneys first, otherwise, the medication will become even MORE straining on him, and so, the treatment methods became epidermal injections on a daily basis; and still in this process, the doctor found that there is also, heart and pulmonary problems that Boo-Boo has, and then, treating the heart and pulmonary problems became the top priority, otherwise, the epidermal injections will prove to be even MORE straining on his lungs and heart……and, just like so, feeling helpless, I’d taken my Booboo cat, who didn’t want to, between the two vets, but, his crippled leg, it’d not only gotten treated, there’s also, an assortment of OTHER kinds of conditions.

Finally one day, right around the time I’m supposed to take Booboo to the doctors, he’d found a hiding place underneath my bed, and refused to come back out again.

I knew, that he’d had enough, me too, but, what else is there to do?  Who would want their dearly beloved pet cat to suffer?  I’d bent down, called out to my Boo-Boo gently, telling him, that it’s all for his own good.

But he’d ignored me, and, hid underneath my bed for an entire day and night.

The morning of the second day, I woke up, saw Boo-Boo lying in front of the windows, getting some sun.  I’d walked over to him, extended my arms, to pat him, but he’d gotten up, dodged me, stubbornly, without turning his head back, limped, his way, back to underneath my bed, and his facial expressions said all: I don’t love you anymore!  This, is where we end.

At this precise moment, I’d heard my own heart shatter, and knew, that I’d lost the trust, that my Boo-Boo cat had for me.  Naturally, he couldn’t understand why it was, that I was taking him to a place he didn’t like to be, to be treated, for no reasons at all, poor Boo-Boo!  He was originally, very close to humans, and loved me so, but, during this time, I’d not only managed, to get him cured, instead, I’d imposed so much more fears upon him.

Then, I shall just, let nature take its course then, not forcing it on him.  Allow the love and the trust to come back again, there’s nothing else MORE imperative than that.

And so, I’d stopped taking Boo-Boo to the veterinary hospital, at first, he’d still act so defensively toward me, looking at me from a distance, with that sense of guardedness in his eyes, always kept a few meters’ distance between us, but, as time passed, he was slowly, willing, to come closer to me, to accept my touch again; and finally, one day, he’d started, circling around me, intimately, and used his head, to rub against my hand, and allowed me to hold him once more, and put up with my never-ending kisses toward him.  And so, we’d become the best of pals, and started living this sweet and happy life we shared again.

After not going to the hospitals every day, other than limping when he walked, Boo-Boo was like his old self, there was no show of him, being in immense pain, and I’d accepted that he will continue to limp too.  Although I felt that he didn’t walk right, but, there’s that extra sense of cuteness about him.  So long as he’s not in pain, nothing else mattered.  That wouldn’t reduce the love I have for him, him being crippled and all.

Then, awhile ago, about the start of the summer, one day, I’d found, that Boo-Boo was no longer limping again, he’d become, once again, a graceful cat again!

How did all of this change?  Could it be, that he was healed, by the love, and the trust we shared once more?

Or maybe, it’s because I’d relaxed too.  When I no longer worried like hell over him, perhaps, this cat who shared my life intimately, also stopped feeling the anxieties.  From before when I’d done so much, and, there was, no results, then one day, the blockage all of a sudden, was relieved, leaving everything up to fate, and, things got resolved, and, the blockage was gone, and, everything changed for the better.

Worrying is actually an useless emotions.  From my Booboo cat, I’d understand once more, that loosening a wind-up too-tightly heart, your world will open up too.  Like the mysticist had stated, “All you need to do is sit quietly, the flowers will bloom on their own, the grasses and trees will too.”  It is that way to a cat, and this can also be applied to anybody else’s life as well.

And so, the cat just needed time on its own, to sort whatever it is it needed to get sorted out, and the owner’s worries are for naught, and, the owner learned an important lesson about life from her cat, that sometimes, all you need to do, is to sit back, and let nature take its course, and, trust that everything will work out at the end, and it will…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Lessons, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Love Notes from My Daughter, on Supporting One Another in the Family

Translated…

Many years ago, my husband was diagnosed with depression, and, all of a sudden, the originally harmonious household, got turned, upside down; my husband started wearing a frown constantly, became timid, depressed, and had thoughts of suicide, even.  During that time, the entire family is on high alert at all times, every time when I’d heard my cell go off at work, I’d get all tensed up, ready, to drive fast, back home.

Back then, my eldest daughter was in the ninth grade, she’d felt, that something wasn’t quite right with dad too, but, to not affect her test preparations, I could only console her, to not worry, but, depression don’t get better without work, in waiting for my husband to make his full recovery, I’d gotten strained completely.  And, out of expectations, my husband started becoming forgetful too.  Several times, I’d found, that as my husband left the house, he’d left the keys in the door, thankfully, our apartment had surveillance install, that nobody dared do anything bad.  And from time to time, he’d just, taken his meds, and, very shortly thereafter, he’d picked up another packet again, and, reminding him wouldn’t usually work either; or that, he’d placed something in the microwave, and, forgot that he had something in the microwave oven as he’d turned to get something else.

During the daytime, I had to work, the kids, to school, and, we can only, leave him, who’d on a leave of absence from work at home alone, but, I’d worried like crazy.  My youngest who’s in the seventh grade thought of a way, she’d started posting notes of encouragements, of reminders, all over the walls of our house, “You’re amazing today!” “Don’t forget your cell phone when you go out, don’t forget to lock the door, and take the keys.”  “We won’t be long, remember, to behave yourself!”, every word is filled with love, and, since, my husband forgot less and less too.

Because my husband had our accompaniment, our care, love and concerns for him constantly, he was able to return to work six months later, and never had a relapse again, for seven whole years, but, these love notes of my daughter is still, in every corner of our house.  And now, my kids are all away from home, as we’d entered into empty nest, seeing all these words of concern from my child, we’d still feel that we were, very, blessed.

And so, it doesn’t matter what had caused this man’s condition, the important thing is that he’d made a full recovery, with the love and support of his family, that just shows, how families need to STICK together, in times of trouble, to help each other through, like how this man had the support of his children and his wife, that, was how he was able to make a full recovery.

The Face I Will NEVER See Again, on Losing Someone You Loved

Translated…

That Friday, I knew, I will never, see that face again.

I was raised, by my maternal grandmother, when my younger brother was born, my mother dropped me off at my grandma’s, recalling how steep the stairs to the second floor was, how my grandmother would carry me on her back up and down, and I’d never forgotten how warm, her back felt, against my chest, and, maybe, it’s because of this, I’d felt this especially close attachment to my maternal grandmother, every single thing that troubled me, I’d tell her about it.

My grandmother was slimly built, her skin had lost its elasticity, but, her eyes still shone brightly, it’s, as if, a young girl lives inside of her, ready to come out, at any moment, filled her with energy.  Every time I’d told her about my troubles, she would, slap my hands, told me, “Everything is bound to work out.”, this line, and her eyes, had given me the courage I’d needed in times.

With that sort of bright eyes, I thought, that my grandmother could live to a hundred, but, I was, wrong.

What crushed grandma was a serious illness, it came too fast, too hard.

As everybody was gathering in the hospital ward, discussing the treatment options, my grandmother who lay there, on the bed became especially thin and frail, with that emptiness in her eyes; I’d gone up to her, held on to her, and cried, but, my grandmother blinked, and, it’s, as if, that young adolescent girl started, dancing once more, in her eyes, and her face became filled with life once more.

“Don’t cry, you’re a boy, or, grandma will laugh at you, grandma’s just a bit tired is all.”, she’d slapped my hand, smiled, told me, “Everything will work out.”, the next day when I woke up, I went to go wake grandma up, and those eyes, they, never, opened back up again.

I didn’t ring for the doctor or the nurses, just, stared, at that face, with the jumpiness of a teenage girl, and then, there were, a few drops of water on her face; as I’d reached my hand to wipe it away, I’d realized, that the water, it came, from my own eyes, drip, drip, drip, the tears started falling down like rain, I couldn’t stop it, I didn’t want it to stop either.

“Everything will work itself out,” my grandma’s voice, seemed to ring in my ears, but, she’s a LIAR, I’d started crying, too hard that I couldn’t stand back up again.  There will, NEVER, be a way again.

And so, this, is how a boy, grieved for the loss of his own grandmother, and, because he was, raised by her, that, was why her death hit him, especially hard.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Expectations, Family Matters, Life, Socialization

Walking Out of the Darkness After Losing My Marriage

The growth of a woman, translated…

My close friend, Hsin-Yi and two girlfriends’ floral shop opened, a few of us, their close friends, made the time, to give them the congratulations.

We saw how in the small space of the shop, there were so many colorful bouquets, potted flowers, and fashionable pots, plus the professional floral arrangements too, with the explanations of the concepts, it’d made us all happy for her, that she could, get from underneath the dark clouds of the loss of her marriage, and find her strength again.

Three years ago, after Hsin-Yi’s husband had an affair, she was in pain, but, for the sake, of giving her daughter a complete home, she’d decided, to put up with her husband’s bad behaviors, but in the end, she couldn’t save, this already shattered marriage of hers, and ended up divorcing her husband.

After her divorce, she took her five-year-old daughter, moved back in with her parents, other than helping with caring for her daughter, the family members would give her encouragements often.  Plus, her two girlfriends from college would often come by to say hi, have heart-to-hearts with her, hoped, that she could, get out, from under the failed marriage, to not get trapped by the depressive moods, and encouraged her, to make plans for herself, and her daughter’s sake as well.

Later on, Hsin-Yi and her two girlfriends decided to go into business together, the three of them decided to open up a floral shop.  Because Hsin-Yi had the working experiences as a wrapper at a floral shop from before, she’d naturally took up the work of packaging, selection of the flowers, as well as the designs for the pots, and the two of them were in charge of the finances and sales.

The three of them worked with the plans of opening up shop, their days were fulfilled, and, it’d ignited that sense of hope, in Hsin-Yi’s life again.

For the sake of gaining a wide variety of customers, as well as upping her own professionalism, six months before they’d opened for business, Hsin-Yi especially took lessons in how to make corsages and bouquets for the brides, hoped, that she could add to her own professionalism, to offer her customers more choices, and to give her daughter a bit more material wealth as well.

Hsin-Yi told me, that getting divorced is not scary, what’s scary was getting sucked, into the glooms of the divorce.  She’s grateful to her own family’s support, as well as her girlfriends’, giving her a lift in time, so she could get stronger, and, start again.

So, this, is with the support from her friend, that this divorcee had found herself again, and, having a social support system like this one is especially important, when you’re going through a major change in your life such as a divorce.

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Filed under Attitude, Cause & Effect, Choices, Cost of Living, Friendships, Life, Observations, Values, Women's Issues, Work Ethics