Category Archives: Expectations

Changing a Thought, Your World Opens Right Up

Found something that kept her calm, through her husband’s temporary “fix”, translated…

As I accompanied my child to off the island to school, other than helping him settle in, I’d also taken the opportunity, to visit locally, and enjoy this little peaceful time I have. In the embrace of Mother Nature, having been stressed out too long in the nitty-gritties of the day-to-day, I’d, broken free, like a bird from a cage, I’d felt, so very free.

After a few days, although I’m now, recharged spiritually, but my body was having the fatigues from the travels. There’s a saying, “There’s NO place like home”, it’s, so very, true, as I’d reached out, and touched the doorknob of my own house, I’d finally felt, that I can, finally rest easy. But, as I’d, pushed open the doors, my steps, as well as my smiles, froze solid, and, the luggage I had in my other hand fell.

The lanai in front was a huge mess, and, the table and chair where I usually sat leisurely to read, was pushed to the side, the cardboard boxes, the plastic baskets, everywhere, the originally cleaned tile flooring, covered in muddy footprints. There’s, that awful feeling from the pit of my stomach, I’d trembled, as I’d, turned on the lights, I’d, stood there, with my jaws, dropped, in shock, couldn’t make a single sound.

Looking around me, there was, a huge pile of dirt the size of a small mount, and the bamboo had, grown taller than I am, blocking the screen doors; the other bamboos, grown too large out of proportions; and, the gardenia with the branches like the antlers of deer, lying to the side. The piles of fertilized soils, the granite pieces, all, scattered, across the ground…………it’d, looked like, a BOMB had been, dropped here.

About a week ago, my husband looked around on the lanai, and, he’d, measured the space, with his calculating gazes, I’d caught a glance, at his usual act, I’d called out, “oh no!” to myself, I’d, rushed up to him, to ask him what was up. Just as I’d suspected, he’d started, getting so enthusiastic, describing what his plans were, of having a small garden on our lanai, and, I’d, rained down on his parade, “Please, stop your delusions, you just wanted to be the frontiersman, and I’d needed to, clean up after you, like from before when we kept the birds, and the dogs too…………”

He knew he wasn’t going to win the arguments, he’d, fallen silent, and not mentioned it again, I mistakenly thought, that he’d, stopped pondering about it, without knowing, that this, was, only the calm before the storms.

That very night, one of us carried the sour face, the other, scrubbed up the mats, and there’s, this awful tropical depression visiting our home, followed by the days of silent treatments, the air, froze up.

like this???  Not my photograph…查看來源圖片

Every day I’d waken up, pulled back the drapes, and, I was, face-to-face, with this withered garden, it was, truly, depressing. And, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore, rolled up my sleeves, tidied it up out there.

I’d first, trimmed the branches off the bamboos, remove the stems of the dying bamboo, the yellowed leaves as well, them, made the space, for the gardenias. After half a day of sweating it all way, I’d, gotten rid of my displease. And, I’d, taken a look at the scene, and, it was, breathable, and finally, I’d, rid myself, of the dark clouds that loomed over me these past couple of days.

More importantly, I’d put the fruit trees I’d especially loved which I’d planted inside a pot from before into the ground. And, in this garden which I’d once fought not to have, I’d, placed in some of my most cherished plants. Because, knowing my husband, my husband, who only has very short attention span, will soon forget the existence of this garden, and, I will be, the faithful gardener, who will always be looking after this small patch of my own dreams.

So, this, is how this woman changed her mind, to pull herself out of that tropical depression that she’d been in because of her husband’s temporary fix of having a small garden on their lanai, and this still showed, just how powerful the thought is, change a thought, your world lights up!

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Filed under Expectations, Family Dynamics, Hobbies/Pasttimes, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Translated Work

I’m Not a Porcelain Doll, the Reflections in the Doll Corner

This morning, the Porcelain climbed off that high shelf that her owner kept her on display, toward the floor, and, she stood there, in front of the mirror (b/c it’s a girl’s room, and ALL girls want to get dolled up, don’t they???), and, she’d looked at her self in the mirror, left, and right, like how a scientist is examining something s/he’d just, discovered…

I’m not a porcelain doll, Porcelain mumbled to herself, although I looked delicate, fragile, easily shattered, but, I have, a heart of a Raggedly Ann, you can SHAKE, toss me, and let me DROP to the floor, I still won’t BREAK!

not my photo…

I’m not a porcelain doll, the Porcelain decided, that she will NOT be fragile like she’d always been, she’d wanted her owner (a little girl???), to pick her up, and play with her without worrying about shattering her, and so, Porcelain started changing, metamorphosing, and, the little girl who’d owned her, hadn’t seen her, she’d, forgotten about the existence of this particular Porcelain she loved so much.

not my photo…

I’m not a porcelain doll, I won’t break if you shake me too hard, and, even if you tossed me high up in the air, and I come down, landing on my head, I still won’t CRACK wide open!

But, although Porcelain had, made up HER mind on not to break anymore, she still can’t change her physical self, and, surely enough, she’d, shattered, for the last and final time, and, we are all gathered here today, to MOURN the loss, of our dear friend, Porcelain, she was, a very good doll, she just can’t get satisfied, being WHAT and WHO she is, that, is why, she had “died”………

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Filed under Attitude, Expectations, Fate, Lessons, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams, Story-Telling, The Doll Corner

Hobbies, the Haiku of Light

Translated…

How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

A Matter of Last Names

This would be a QUESTION I have for, ALL of you out there, and I still have to apologize FIRST, for using “foul” language beforehand here…

Who the FUCK (oopsy!) says, that after we women marry, we need to take the last names of our husbands?  And, wouldn’t that make us like, your “subordinates”, like second-class citizens?  This, is a “tradition” that started, from AGES, or maybe, EONS ago too.

And, why the HELL should we lose our last names, why don’t you men, take OUR last names instead, after all, we are the ones, with the ABILITY to CARRY your offspring, and so, why the HELL is it, that our kids need to take YOUR last names, instead of ours?

This is MORE than just the matter of last names, it’s about how women ARE perceived in the varied cultures in the world, because we’re married to you, we need to “lose” our own last names, because we are, married to you, is that right?  So, how come, YOU stupid losers don’t change your last names to ours?  After all, we are, living, IN the 21st CENTURY here, and, it is, OUR (women’s) era, to RULE, isn’t that right?

 

 

 

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Filed under Awareness, Connections, Expectations, Gender Inequality, Issues on Gender, Marriages, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Self-Images

The New Home for the Elderly

Observations made from life, translated…

Awhile ago, after I’d gone for my workout at the park, I’d taken a rest on the benches, the heated summer days, with that gentle breeze, an elderly couple was sitting there, in the resting place, I’d heard the elderly woman tell the elderly man, “Let’s go to the new place to check it out later.”, I think to myself, they must have a huge sum in retirement funds.

Sitting close to them, we’d started in conversations, as we talked, the “new home” that the elderly were talking about, were the dual burial place that they’re going to be sharing after they die.  They don’t have any children, just had each other, and, had made their future plans a very long time ago.  They said, that they’d go to their “new home” to clean it up every single week.

“If you don’t have worries far off, then, you have worries nearby.”  Being able to set up one’s own funeral arrangements beforehand, and so in love, that after death, wanting to be buried together, it’s really rare to see, it’s truly, moving.

And so, you can see how close these two elderly are to one another, to want to be buried together after death, and, it’s a good thought too, because they wanted to keep each other company, even after death, and, this, is a hard-to-come-by, once-in-a-lifetime, very deep, kind of love that these two elderly share.

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Filed under Expectations, Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Dangerous Thing About Trust…

It’s either make, or BREAK, and, when you BREAK, you REALLY, REALLY, R-E-A-L-L-Y DO B-R-E-A-K!

The dangerous thing about trust, is that if you’d placed your trust into the wrong people, then, you’d be, totally SCREWED, and, there’s ALSO that GOD DAMN problem of T-R-A-N-S-F-E-R-E-N-C-E (hello, hello, hello, Uncle Siggy, anyone???).

Trust is a dangerous thing, especially in this world, filled with a TON of SHIT, how do you know, WHO you can trust?  I mean, lookin’ ‘round here, you’ll see, ALL those GOD damn BUSINESSES that put people’s lives in danger, because they’d wanted to save up on the dollar, and, you ALSO have people, who are still ABUSING one another’s trust, everywhere.

The dangerous thing about trust, you can’t just, TRUST anybody, especially strangers, because you don’t KNOW what their intentions are, and, more often than not, their intentions are NEVER good!

So, what, do we do?  Do we, become skeptics, in the realms of trust?  Do we, still keep that faith, that people are naturally good, and, how, can we, make sure, that the environment won’t get to us, with ALL those bad news that are still currently, playing, playing, playing, AND replaying out there?

 

 

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Filed under Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Expectations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

A Matter of Last Names…

Who the HELL says, that after we women marry, we MUST take your last names?  And, why don’t you ALL, start taking OUR last names instead?  I mean, it’s only fair, right, as the “rituals” of a married woman taking HER husband’s last name had been happening since………how LONG now?

So, it’s time for a change!  This is still a SEXIST thing, making us women, subordinates to Y-O-U, and, by becoming your wives (1 @ a time), we’re NOT only signing on as ASS-WIPES, because let’s face it, all you losers are looking for when you find a significant other is a SURROGATE mommy who can BREAST feed you, who’s gonna kiss your boo-boos, and, where, is it written down (meaning in P-R-I-N-T!!!) that we MUST become the mothers of your children?  And, what about what WE want?  Because, you ladies DO realize, that after you’re wed, and had your babies, you’re basically done, right???  Uh, yeah!

Matter of last names, I won’t BE taking ANYBODY’s LAST names, because I will NEVER be married to NOBODY (and your point being???) but me.

Once again, this, is still a W-O-M-A-N talkin’, just so you all know!

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Filed under Awareness, Expectations, Life, Socialization