Monthly Archives: April 2015

Being the Primary Caretaker of Her Demented Father, “How Could He Forget Me!”

Caretaking of demented elderly, translated…

Patients who are diagnosed with dementia has a declining mental capacity, it’s such a tragic and sad process, and, the decline of mental capacity is not limited to the loss of memories, it’s often accompanied by the ability to make judgments as well as abstract thinking abilities on the decline as well, and, the whole thing combined, turned the matter into scenes after scenes of hard-to-deal with arguments and difficulties in one’s life.

Mr. Wang was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s many years ago, from the very beginning when the symptoms started when he’d started asking his family members the same questions again and again, to his eyes, slowly overcome with that look of helplessness, in the multiple sessions with the doctor, the families were told that this, IS the progression of Alzheimer’s, and, the children could comply with how their father would fall silent from time to time, and get loud every now and then, and they’d returned home to visit with him even more, hoped, to keep the years shared on the increase.

His Youngest Daughter Took Good Care of Him, But, Her Father Had, Forgotten Her

Ms. Wang is the youngest of her family, when her father was diagnosed, she was the one who’s not yet married, their mother died early, so naturally, she’d shouldered up the responsibilities to care for him.  With the worsening of her father’s condition, Ms. Wang took an early retirement from the school she’d taught at, and, helped her father live off of his own savings, as well as her own retirement pensions, the days are hard, and, seeing how her father deteriorated by the day, she’d started fretting.

When Mr. Wang started becoming delusional and started arguing with her, Ms. Wang realized that her father’s conditions had progressed even further.  From time to time, her father would have that doubtful gaze, asked her, “What’s your name?”, she thought, that it was a temporary moment of memory lapse, how could he forget, the daughter who’s by his side for all these years, until the day…

“Dad, wake up for your breakfast!”, as Ms. Wang prepared the meals, and waken her father up for it, her father looked at her, with panic, screamed, “GET AWAY from me!  Why are you in my house!  What do you want from me!”, Ms. Wang was shocked, and had, time and time, told Mr. Wang her name, that she was the daughter he’d lived with every single day now, but, Mr. Wang kept denying her as his daughter, and insisted, that his daughter lives in another city.

As Her Father’s Condition Progressed, She’d Become a Stranger to Him

Ms. Wang called up her older sister, and handed the phone to her father, and her father behaved like a child who was shocked, told her eldest that there was a bad lady that came to his house, and, as he spoke, the tears of panic came to his eyes.  At which time, Ms. Wang could no longer hold it in, started tearing up, by the corner of the walls.

As the eldest sister rushed back home, her father, with that look of panic, hid out in his own bedroom, and, her youngest sister, without ANY facial expressions, sitting in the living room, crying.  Ms. Wang finally cracked, she’d screamed hysterically, “How can he forget me!  I’d given up my job for him, sacrificed my love life, my life, used ALL the energies I have, to care for him, and, all he could remember was, you, the daughter who married far off, are all these years I’d been giving my life for naught now?”

A Slow-Rewind of His Memories, the Hardships Were, Forgotten First

The memories of the demented elderly started getting lost, from the newer ones, so, at first, they’d have troubles, recalling what was just said to them, then, with the progression of the disease, the patients’ memories started to rewind forward.

The earliest memories that one has is the slowest to be gone, and so, Mr. Wang may forget about his youngest daughter, then, his oldest, forgetting about one’s own offspring, before one’s own spouse, and, it’s all because of the difference in the time and accumulation of moments shared.

A lot of the younger and unmarried children became the primary caretakers of demented parents, but, with the progressions of the illness, it’d made the caretaking duties harder to handle, and they’re the very first to get forgotten.  But, the blurring of the demented patients and the simplified logic, a condition that neither parties wanted to have happened occurs.  Other than handling the caretaking duties, one must also have plans for one’s own life, and you must share your thoughts with someone else, so you don’t carry it all on yourselves.

So, from this, you CAN see, how uneven the primary caretaker feels, right?  She’s the one who took her father in, took good care of him, and yet, she’d become a stranger to him, and, this would be hard for this woman to handle because she’d put EVERYTHING into caring for her demented father, and, in the end, he couldn’t even recognize him anymore, but that, is the progression of this illness of old age.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dementia/Deterioration of the Mind, Expectations, Life, Loss, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Old Age

Why Are You So Unhappy???

This, is from an observer’s perspective…

Why are you so unhappy?  You already have everything in life, everything I can EVER dream of, so, why are you still dissatisfied with life, I don’t get you, you know?

Why are you so unhappy?  What the F*** (maxed out, remember???) do you KNOW about my life?  Just because I look like I have all the gold, glory and everything ELSE in between, that still doesn’t mean, that I have EVERYTHING that makes ME happy, and, who the HELL are you, to JUDGE?

Why are you so unhappy?  I don’t see how my unhappiness is of anybody’s concerns here!  Why are you so unhappy?  You shouldn’t be like this, you know, instead look around, and see all those others, with less than you, they’re still, doing the best they possibly can, to make their lives matter, but, they’re still NOT me, so, how the F*** (“maxed” out, remember???) would they know, how I feel?

Why are you so unhappy?  Why the HELL do you care, and, since WHEN, did my happiness or unhappiness become a “public” issue?  Why can’t you just LEAVE me, in my misery already?  And, STOP bugging me!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Socialization, White Picket Fence

Spent All Their Assets? The Mother and Her Two Sons Were Found to Have Committed Suicide in Their Mansion

The story of suicides, from the Front Page Sections, the cause being how the individuals can no longer handle the demands of the realities that they’re faced with, translated…

The forty-nine year old eldest son had cerebral palsy, was taken care of by his seventy-five year-old aging mother, the forty-six year old youngest would go outdoors when he’s hungry, they’d sold their storefront property just three years ago, and now, they’re thinking of selling the mansion they’re living in now.

Yesterday, a mansion in the Dali District of Taichung had the scent of dead corpse flowing from it, the police and fire department were called, they’d broken in, and found the seventy-five year-old elderly woman, Wu, along with her two sons, Hong, dead, in their second floor bedrooms, in the rooms, the firefighters found burnt charcoal on barbeque racks, and they’d suspected, that they’d been dead for over three days; the police suspected that it was the household economics that’s caused the three of them to commit suicide.

The police investigated, that the Hongs had sold their storefront property, just three years back, with the price of fifteen million dollars, that it was paid in cash, recently, there came the sounds of how the Hongs are pressured by the debts of three million dollars N.T., they’d asked to sell the property, the mansion they’re currently living in right now, but, they’d put the house on the market for six months, without any offers or prospect buyers at all, in March, they’d pulled it off the markets, and, whether or not they’d committed suicide because of their pressing debts, or was it because they couldn’t sell their property, to pay up the debts that they owed, it’s still in need of investigations.

At four in the afternoon, the police were notified, that there was a rancid odor coming from a mansion on Hsin-Fang Road of Dali District, the fire department arrived on scene, broke the door open, and found Wu, in her second floor bedroom, on her side, by the lounge chair by her own bed, Wu’s forty-nine year-old and forty-six year-old sons, on the bed, face up, the three of their bodies are already blackened and bloated, and the coroners believed, that they’d been dead, for over three days already.

The police said, that the bedroom door was sealed shut with towels, and there were barbeque stands set up at the scene, there was no outside forces that showed signs of a break in, nor were there suicide notes, as to whether or not the three of them had committed suicide, assisted one another in their own deaths, or, was it, caused by something from the outside, it’s yet to be clarified.

The police found, that Wu’s eldest son has cerebral palsy, and Wu took care of him by the day, and she’d gone to the nearby parks, to do her exercise dances; the youngest son was unemployed, and drawn in by the internet, the residents nearby told, that the youngest would only show his face outside when he was hungry, and would keep his eyes glued to the computers at home normally.

The police said, Hong’s father who’s a public office employee died a decade ago, and the family still gets half of the father’s retirement pension payments, Hong’s mother (Wu) receives money from the elderly assistance, the second son died by leaping off a building to commit suicide; the family had sold their storefront three years ago, and is with cash income, they seemed well off; six months ago, the youngest son wanted to sell the mansion they’re living in right now, but couldn’t agree on the price with a prospect buyer, so the deal broke off.

The realtor said, that six months ago, the Hongs asked him to help sell the property they’re staying at currently, the asking price was $1.88 million N.T.s, and there was a buyer who’d offered them $1.5 million N.T.s and was turned down, because the family was very rigid on the price that they’re asking, so, the deal never went through, and, this March, the realtor told them, that he couldn’t manage to sell their property for them.

So, this family is probably, pressed by money, but, there may be OTHER underlying reasons for their suicide, but, there’s no way that anybody can know that now, they’re all dead!

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Loss, Mental Health Issues, Observations, Suicides, White Picket Fence

Your Next Boss May be Watching You

The observations from life, translated…

Ching, who’s a janitor of our building is a very outgoing and optimistic woman, other than doing her tasks at cleaning up, she’d always helped the residents who couldn’t get out of their houses to buy their meals for them, out of the kindness of her heart, to take out the trash for them, so, in the three years she worked in the building, she’d established a good relationship with the residents.

But, nobody can please everybody.  Two months ago, she’d told us, that her time is up by the end of the month, because someone had complained about how she only carried on in conversation with the residents of the building, and not done her job well, etc., etc., etc., and she was, fired by her boss.

Awhile ago, I’d met her again in the elevator, turns out, a member of the community who’d often asked her to run errands learned that she was fired, and, formally hired her, to help clean up her house.

She’d helped the resident with the simpler matters of the household, the basic household chores, and, she’d earned exactly the same amount as when she was hired to clean up the building, but, the work is much easier, and, the hours became shorter too, she’d gained something before she got fired.

We’d often heard about how people would complain of how heavy the workload is, feared, that if they’d done a little extra work, then, they’d become taken, without thinking that maybe, your future boss, is right there, next to you, observing.

And so, because this woman’s work ethics, and how she’d helped those in the building she’d worked in, after she was fired, someone offered her a new job, which paid even BETTER than when she’d had to take care of the entire building, and that still just shows, that something that seemed like a loss, may actually be a gain instead.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Socialization, Story-Telling, Translated Work, Work Ethics

A Piece of Paper, with Three Young Children, Crying, Saved Their Parents, the Young Children Went to the Subprecinct to Look for Grandpa

Parents who made their kids go through HELL here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

“Uncle Police, I need to go find grandpa, mom and dad said they’re going to kill; themselves!”, two nights ago, deep into the nights, three young children came, to the Shalun Subprecinct, with suitcases, telling the adults; some two odd hours later, the police found the parents, inside the car, with the exhaust gas fuming up, in the mountainous regions of Shulin District.

The police said, that the parents drove the kids to someplace near the subprecinct, gave them a note, told them to go into the subprecinct; the nine-year-old eldest brother, took his five and three-year old younger siblings, walked into the subprecincted, teary eyed, but, the eldest still maintained his collectedness as an eldest child, the officer on duty, Lin immediately notified the assistant manager of the subprecinct, Dai, the constable, Huang, the patrol officer, Lee, and, everybody came to inquire these three young children, what was wrong.

The nine-year-old eldest child took out a piece of paper, with their grandfather’s name and telephone number printed on it, said, “I heard mom and dad said they’re going to kill themselves”, Dai immediately notified the active office, and asked the patrol officers who are online to help out with the searches, as the grandfather and eldest uncle were contacted, they’d both rushed to the subprecincted, asked, “can you please help find them quick!”

The police investigated, that before the incident, the father of the children had texted the eldest brother, asked him to take care of the three young children, his eldest immediately told him, “whatever it is, we’ll talk at home”, the police set up the GPS tracking systems, to find the location of the couple, at a little past midnight, they were confirmed, to be at the mountainous region of Shulin, they’d immediately notified the local authorities, and the fire department to help with the search.

As the police, the fire department rushed to the area, found the sedan, and found, that the exhaust pipe had been connected to a duct, that led into the car, they’d immediately opened the doors, the father is already out, but his wife is still half-conscious, they’d immediately rushed them to the hospital, and, they’re okay now.

The police found, that the couple three years ago, suspected of avoiding the debts, went southward toward Taichung from Banciao, then, lost contact with the family, and this time they’d driven up north, they’d left their kids alone with the relatives.  The Hsinbei Social Services Department already placed the three young boys, and is now, counseling the family of five, hoped, to return the children to their family of origin, so they can all be together again.

So, this, is still, a VERY awful example that the parents set for the children, and, thankfully, the oldest son, who was only NINE had the smart mind, to notify the police, because if he hadn’t, can you imagine how he’d be carrying the causes of his parents’ death on his shoulders???

 

 

 

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Growing Up Too Fast, Issues of the Society, Kids Raising Kids, Life, Losing Sight of What's Important, News Stories, Social Issues, Suicides, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

The Thirteen-Year-Old Young Girl, Diagnosed with Cockayne Syndrome, Living Inside the Body of a Ninety-One Year Old

The life experiences of a child, with a rare illness, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Celebrating a thirteenth birthday is not at all that difficult for normal children, but for Wen-Yu Lu who had been diagnosed with Cockayne Syndrome, it’s considered, a miracle.

April 26th would be Lu’s thirteenth birthday, but, it’s equivalent to the birthday of a ninety-one year-old individual.  The Angels Development Center yesterday held a birthday party for her and other children who were born in the month of April who are physically handicapped.  Her mother, Chen said, that the average age of children diagnosed with Cockayne is thirteen, and, she’d tried hard not to cry, as she talked about facing the imminent death of her own child, and tried, to fulfill the time she has left on this earth.

After Lu was born, all seemed normal, at one and a half years old, she was developmentally delayed, her parents realized that something wasn’t quite right, and, at age two, they’d taken her into the Angels Early Intervention Center, at age four, the diagnosis of Cockayne was confirmed, it’s also called Aging-Fast Disease, those diagnosed would age seven times faster than the normal individuals.

The doctor diagnosed, that Lu’s intelligence is around age one, her physical growth was stunted, her height is only 2’5, and weighed at 19.8 pounds, and she’d lost her sense of hearing and sight too.

Chen said, she can only communicate with her daughter by touching now, and, Lu can only use the single-word vocabularies that she’d learned from age one, to express her needs, when she’d wanted a drink of water, she could only say, “Water”, the word, “mother” is the most complete of her expression of speech.

Chen said, she could see and hear her daughter, trying to walk using her walker, to skip school, “as I’d just dropped her off in class, she’d snuck out, and gone into the elevator, went downstairs.”

And now, Lu can no longer see, or hear, lacked that sense of security, and loved staying close to her mom.  Chen said, she didn’t know when her daughter will leave her side, she’d used to taken her out to see the scenes, and now, all she can do, is to cherish every moment they’re sharing together.

So, this, is another illness of the childhood years, and, imagine how hard it must be, for this thirteen year-old teen who should be active, running around and about, to be STUCK, immobilized inside an ailing body, can you imagine, how HARD it could be, for this person?

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Filed under Awareness, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Coping Mechanisms, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying

Gone to School at the Developmental School, the Slow-to-Develop Boy, Jun is Improving, Bit by Bit

So, step by step, and you’ll still, get there, eventually!  From the Newspapers, translated…

A lot of the slow-to-develop children looked no different on the outside, and the parents couldn’t detect, they’re without any sense of warning, thus, delaying the treatment and intervention, the mildly autistic, child, “Jun” who couldn’t go to the bathroom on his own, who couldn’t talk, in the accompaniment of his great grandmother, got into the intervention program, he’d started getting interested by the materials, the new toys, and, had improved on his interpersonal skills, his progress made his great grandmother feel better.

The senior social worker, Bai said, most of the parents just wouldn’t admit that their children needed professional help, and, most parents have a lack of understanding of children who are slow-to-develop, believed, that everything will come eventually, and, delayed the treatment phases.

The community set up to help those children who are slow-to-develop by the Home and Family Org in Hsinbei City pointed out, that the expert of studies in delayed developments said, that before the age of six, the slow-to-develop children should be placed in intervention programs, compared the children who went into the intervention programs after the age of six, the improvements are thirty times better.

The eighty-one year-old great grandmother, Liu, for over two years, had taken Jun, the six-year-old great grandson’s hand to ride from their place to Asia-Eastern Hospital Station, and walked for half an hour, then, they arrive at the kindergarten.

Because Jun was from a lower income household, lacked the needed stimulus, so he’d developed slow, and was diagnosed with mild autism, and, his grandparents, and father died, and, two years ago, his physically handicapped mother got remarried, left him with his great grandmother, but, at the age of three, he still couldn’t speak, or go to the bathrooms on his own, his great grandmother felt that something wasn’t right, took him to get diagnosed, then, she realized, that he needed to be treated.

When Jun arrived at the developmental school for class, he’d lacked an understanding of his external environment, would get jittery, and start to cry, throw temper tantrums, but, after he’d gotten introduced to various classes, drawing, music, life training, he’d improved a lot, and when he’d come into contact with new materials, new toys, he’d touched them with excitement, and wouldn’t bear to leave, and, would start to think in holding conversations with others, and it’d made his great grandmother feel better, “He is improving, quite a bit!”

And so here, early intervention is still the KEY to effective treatment, and, because there’s NO physical signs from these children, unlike how some of the genetic disorders have a certain traits, there’s NO way that the family can know, and, this child’s parents just dumped him to his great grandparents, and, because the great grandmother wasn’t aware of the existence of the child’s condition, that, was why the intervention came a bit later, but, the child is making progress…

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Carelessness of Adults, Child Development/Education of Children, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Lessons, Life, Observations, Socialization

His Nights, Consumed by the Shadows

His nights, consumed by the shadows, and, he’d just, pull those way too not thick-enough covers over his head…

His nights, consumed by the shadows, and he has absolutely NO recollections, of WHEN those shadows started showing up in his nights, and now, they would, pay him visits, every single night, and, he just, couldn’t fend them off at all.

His nights, consumed by the shadows, it’d become, too grueling, for him to cope now, and, in order, to NOT let those shadows into his mind, he’d forced himself, to stay awake, ALL through the nights, and, during the daytime, because he couldn’t sleep at all at night, he’d become, lethargic, and, couldn’t do anything REPRODUCTIVE at all!

His nights, consumed by the shadows, there’s no way he’d found, that he could use, to effectively, chase all those nightmares away, after all, they (the nightmares) were all, sown down, into the field of his mind when he was real young………

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Loss, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Suppressed Memories

Cussing His Cancer Friend Out, It’s Sparked the Will to Live in Him

Helping someone who’s in the same predicament out, translated…

After my eldest uncle died of stomach cancer, I feared that there’s the inherited genes, I’d gone to the hospital for a check up, and, I was in the third stage of stomach cancer.  I’d thought, that after the surgeries, I will be fine, but, I’d started, retaining water, so I’d had to have a bag connected to my bladder at all times, and I’d become, a “backpacker” ever since, and, the will to live had, slipped away from me, little, by little, I’d really wanted to, just DIE.

Because I’m a Christian, other than having my faith to help carry me through, I’d relied on other members of my congregation, as well as my wife, to help me through, it’d made me realize, just how much luckier I am, compared to some of those who fell ill.  After I’d realized just how lucky I truly am, I’d decided, to turn what I’d weathered through thus far, into something greater, I’d gone to volunteer at the hospital, helped others to regain their health back again, sometimes, I’d gone to volunteer during the mornings, and, gone through my chemo treatments in the afternoons, and, even though, my body felt awful, I’d never complained, my coworker said, that I was working really hard.

Being a volunteer is very meaningful, you can share what you went through, with those who are still, fighting hard, sharing with them, let them know, “if I can, so can you.”  One time, I’d met a person who’s ill, he’d lost his will to live, and kept hollering nonstop how he’d wanted to die, I’d gotten angry, grilled him, “You think that you can give up, at any time you wish?  That you can lose your life at anytime you want to?”

Life, is all about, battling, ‘til that final drop of blood drips from your body, then, winning and losing, is decided, if you want to win, then, you need to keep a healthy mind and body, through exercising, to keep the cancer from coming back.  After that patient who’s diagnosed with cancer had heard me, he was originally, in a state of NOT eating ANYTHING, that day, he’d had a hearty meal, and, made the decisions, to live out his life fully, however long it may be, and that, was the biggest gain for volunteering for me.

Knowing that your stories can help someone out, to help the person have a brand new perspective, it’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it?  And that, just shows, how easily you can affect someone, to help change a life, and, this person didn’t even make ANY monetary donations too, imagine THAT!

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Filed under Attitude, Healing Process, Helping Behaviors, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Wake Up Calls

Childhood, Hauting You

You don’t know why, but, you’d been, haunted by those childhood days from so very long ago…

Childhood, haunting you, because you’d NEGLECTED to pay enough attention to that damaged child that’s within you, and now, s/he is coming back, night, AFTER night, gnawing you, making you feel her/his (depending on your gender!!!) pains.

Childhood, haunting you, how, do you get rid of it?  You can’t, unless, you can find H.G. Wells, and have him build you that Time Machine, so you can go back, and change things, but, H.G. Wells is already DEAD!  Childhood, haunting you, how can this be, you’d wondered to yourselves, I’d left my childhood, so very long ago, and I’m already, an adult, so, how come, I’m still gnawed, by these painful sensations that I’m, just, remembering now???

Childhood will ALWAYS haunt you, as you were, just like me, ABUSE and NEGLECTED by those two PRIMARY attachment figures in your lives (hello, hello, hello???), and you still have NO way out, of that messed up state of mind you’re still currently, STUCK inside of!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Childhood, Cost of Living, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Suppressed Memories, Vicious Cycle