Category Archives: Betrayals

Staying TRUE, to, a WHORING M-A-N

I still gotta say, this is, still NOT directed toward anyone who can R-E-A-D, as for those of you who’d, stumbled onto this site of mine, and can’t READ, well, you got NO business being here, so, get the HELL out!!!

What AM I???  A @#$%ING (maxed out!) R-E-T-A-R-D???

And, why on God’s “green earth” (oh wait, god does NOT have sole-proprietorship over ANY of us, here on E-A-R-T-H!) would I do something so stupid like that, huh?  Besides, you were the ones who couldn’t keep your god damn, @#$%ING (maxed out!) DICKS in check, so, what RIGHT have you, to tell me that I’m not keeping my you-know-where intact?

The primary reason W-H-Y a lot of women are currently STUCK in this, predicament (you can call it that if you want to!) is because they are, too dumb, and too, BLONDE (the dumb-blonde BIMBOS???), to unable to see, how staying STUCK, should be, their, last resort, and they still, don’t get themselves out, why is that, is absolutely, beyond ME!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, that may be our, only option, IF we live in the, 18th, 19th, 20th centuries, but we are, in the 21st CENTURY here (hello, hello, hello, is this thing~~the P.A, even on???), because we are, without a viable skill, to make a living on our own, therefore, in the olden days, we relied on our losers has-beens, to keep us, and seeing how they are all, the bread winners of the house, they can, WHORE around all the want to but that’s, back then, and this, is N-O-W!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, is something I will NEVER do, in fact, like all you losers out there that EXTRA “appendage” “down there”, I too, prefer, VIRGIN males too, okay, and yes, I will have my two “virgin males” NEUTERED, and I am going to get the two of them both, HOUSEBROKEN, and, they will be, “camping” their butts, on my bed, next to me, giving that they don’t crawl onto my pillow, to find that soft spot (like Murphy’d done???)…and we’ll all get along, just fine, and dandy here…

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Discriminations, Excuses, Getting Even, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Interpersonal Relations, Issues of Morality, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Properties of Life

On an Unknown Early Morning

On an unknown early morning, she woke up, not knowing, what’s up ahead in her day, she got dressed for school, as she’d done from before…

She got out at six thirty, walked on that small road between the fields, like she’d, always done in the mornings, getting to school, then, she can’t remember, what happened afterwards.

She woke, in a room, full of, bright light, with voices, so sharp, so loud it’d, made her ears ache.  She’d, blinked her eyes, tried to get things into focus, but it’s like, something’s, obstructing her view, she’d, rubbed her eyes, to try to clear it, it didn’t work.  It took her, a very long time, to realize, that the white room she was in, wasn’t her class, where she was, supposed to be.

Then, a woman’s voice started speaking, she tried to follow where the sound came from, but, she couldn’t see!!!  The woman’s voices told her, “Ms. You’d been, attacked, we just did a rape kit on you!”  A rape what???   That wasn’t supposed to happen, I was on my way to school, then, for some unknown reasons, I ended up, here…

The woman’s voice continued, “is there someone you’d like us to call for you, an adult, maybe?  Your parents, perhaps?  Do you have their numbers???”

On an unknown early morning, nothing was supposed to happen, it was, just like any other day, she got up, got into the shower, to wake herself up, brushed her teeth, put on her clothes, dressed herself for school, and, sat at the breakfast table, as her mother worked in and out of the kitchen, her father, sitting in his chair, with his paper, reading…

Nothing was supposed to happen, on an, ordinary, unknown, early morning, but something did, something that made her wish she was, dead, but she wasn’t, she’d, survived through the physical and sexual assault, and now, she’s, broken!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Abusing Someone's Trust, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Bullying, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Improper Behaviors of an Adult, Improper Misconducts, Innocence Lost, Miscelaneous, Rapes, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Unsafe Neighborhoods, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

The Lies of the Ninth

The memories of trauma, suppressed, because the individual, was way too young, and, something DID happen, maybe, just not the version of the story that this person had told, to her/his, adult counterparts, translated…

There was something that happened when I was younger, that impacted me, something that’s, a part of, my chaotic memories…

At nine, my mother wanted me to test into the GT classes of an all-star elementary school, that’s, farther away from where I used to live, I’d gotten in, and, she’d, transferred me there.

On the first day of school, as I arrived home, I’d told her, that I was, almost, abducted by a bad guy, there was, a woman in a covered up motorcycle helmet that told me she’d brought the lunches for my mother to me.  I’d told my mother: back then, I was playing outside the gates of my school, and the woman asked me to go with her, I’d felt that something wasn’t quite right, because mom wouldn’t do that, and I’d, run scared, back to the school.  But, I wasn’t, acquainted with my new school yet, it took me, a long time, to finally, get back into my class.

As I’d told, I’d, started crying scared.  My mother was shocked, the very next day, she’d, called up the school, as well as the Department of Education to, we’d, almost gotten the case on the press; within a week’s time I was, transferred, back to my former school again.

But actually, this, was a story I’d, made up.

illustration from UDN.com圖/豆寶

There were, two primary motives of me lying: to find a justifiable reason for me heading into school ate, and find a way to go back to my former school, that’s not based off of “I don’t want to go to my new school”.

Two years ago, with my deep-rooted guilt, I’d, told my parents this truth, admitted that I was, lying to them from back when in the family therapist’s office, and I’d, made up the stories, from an illustrated book my parents bought for me, “I Have a Way”, and, the details of what the woman whom I’d told had, tried to take me away, came from the illustration of a person in a helmet, trying, to take a child away in the pages.

Because my story was, fully-thought out, without any flaws, to the point, that my parents, as well as the staff members of the school all thought it was, true, for almost, twenty years.

Do children who read, really behave themselves?  The knowledge I’d gained from reading, taught me how to commit a crime.

And yet, up to recently, I’d felt, chaotic of this memory.

There was a part of me that felt, that might there have been, something that’s, happened to me, even though it may not have been, the version of the stories I’d told?  How else, would I come up with, the specific details, including what the woman sounded like, what she was dressed in, what her scooter looked like…………

The me at nine years old, I’d, watched the scenes, played on in my mind, as I’d, “retold” my mother what had, happened (and if I remembered correctly, the highest scoring section of my G.T. exams was in the “thinking skills in space and images”).  And, I’d, started crying like there was, no tomorrow, to the point I was, trembling hard, if I were lying, then, how come I had, such physiological response?  Could it be, that I’d, fooled myself into believing?  Or, had there actually, been something that’s, too awful, too shocked, for the me at age nine to accept?  So I’d, forgotten, and, altered this memory of mine, to make it, fictitious?

Several years ago, I’d gone to a hypnosis therapy session, to deal with the problem of ‘feeling a ton of pain, but I can’t cry”.  This was, completely opposite to the me at nine, who’d, “made up a story, that’s, false, and cried like it actually, happened.”

And yet, at the physical classes, I’d shown, the “reflexive response outbursts” in crying, as the coach helped me to relax my diaphragm, I’d, started, wailing hard, it was, a sort of cry, from the depth of my body.

The coach told me, that the diaphragm is a place where, “unresolved emotions are, stored”, so, there may be, some sort of, very deep trauma from long ago, that’s still, not yet, entered, into my consciousness, stayed still inside of my body.

I’d instinctively felt, that in the lies I’d told when I was nine, there might have been something, that’s made me stuck, as a twenty-nine year-old, grown up right now.

So, something definitely happened to you, because of the physiological response of your body, and this sort of a response only comes, when the body had, experienced, something that’, extremely, traumatic, so, maybe something HAD, happened to you at age nine, just not as you’d, remembered it, being almost abducted by a stranger, maybe, it was, something else, that’s, more serious, because the body, it, NEVER lies, and it’s, up to this individual, to dig even deeper, if s/he can, to find out exactly, what had, happened to her/him in his childhood years, and resolve what happened to her/him, piece, by piece.  And, until this person resolved everything, s/he will, always, have that thing that’s, blocking her/his path, from reaching her/his, full potential.

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Getting Exposed Too Young, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Loss, Mental Health Issues, Perspectives, Story-Telling, Suppressed Memories

The Railroad that Extended, Through Our, Childhood Years…

The railroad that extended, through our, childhood years, it’d, sped off, west (or was it, east) bound, and, it’d, not slowed down one bit, just kept going, going, going, ‘til it was, completely, G-O-N-E…

The railroad that extended, through our, childhood years, they’d, taken us very far, helped our imaginations soar, didn’t it?  And yet, reality, eventually, dragged us all back down to the ground, and we get, trampled on!

what that, looked, like…查看來源圖片with no end in sight…photo from online

The railroad that extended, through our, childhood years, do you, remember it?  How it runs, on, and on, and on, and on, and on?  How we thought we couldn’t, get to the terminal stations?  Well, we’re, here, the end of the line, where childhood is, completely, gone, and we can’t, EVER, get it back again.

The railroad that extended, through our, childhood years, oh how I wish, it could, keep on going, until eternity comes, but it can’t, it’d, ended already, as I got my, innocence, STOLEN from, under me, back as a young child from before.

And no, it still, was, NEVER my fault!!!

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Burying One's Own Child, Childhood, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Innocence Lost, Lessons, Letting Go, The Price of Virginities

Love is Confined…

Love is confined, to this, small, tiny, cheap motel room, with the wallpapers, peeling off, with the unchanged sheets with the stains from someone else’s use from before.

Love is confined, to this, one-day weekend we were, having, ‘cuz your wife’s, out for a day, and you’d, called me up, to score! And ‘cuz, I got, nothing better to do, I’d agreed to it! Love is confined, to this, cheap, roadside motel room, but, we still, have the love we share, don’t we? So, we’ll be, all right, right?

查看來源圖片what was, happening, photo from online

Love is confined, you’d not called me up in a long, long time, and, I’d, not called you either, we both knew, that beyond this room, we don’t, have ANYTHING that we should be, sharing! Love is confined, there’s, NO way to, free it now, and, it got, caged up, way too long, nobody let it out to go to potty, to exercise, and it’d, become, so depressed, it’d, tried to, KILL itself!

And, as we got together again, after, a very, very, very long while since the last time, inside, that cheap, roadside, motel room, you’d, scored, that final FUCK on me……

Then, it was, all over, I’d, put that bird that’s dying inside that cage out of, its misery!

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Betrayals, Cost of Living, Extramarital Affairs, Improper Misconducts, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Life, Relationship

Forgiving Her Predatory Father…

Because he’s my “daddy”, and I love him!  Yeah, uh, how FUCKING retarded are you, huh?  And, you DO realize, that it’s WRONG, what that M***ER F***ER had done to you, right?

Forgiving her predatory father, she had, because, she loved him, after all, without his sperm, she wouldn’t even EXIST!  And besides, he’s the PRIMARY source of income, and, her and her family relied on him for bringing in the dough, and besides, in just a few more years, she’ll be, an adult, and she won’t need to, PUT up with him, coming into her bedroom late in the nights, undressing himself, and getting too close to her no more………

Forgiving her predatory father, she didn’t want to, after all, how can you, possibly, forgive a man for RAPE, especially when he WAS (past tense???) your father!  But, for the sake of her family, at her own mother’s urging, child, if you don’t forgive him, he’ll get sent to prison, and what’ll, happen to us???  (and that constitutes as emotional BLACKMAIL!!!), and so, she had, NO other viable options, but to state it in court, “I forgive my father!”

And so, this PREDATORY father learned what???  Oh yeah, I can get away, with RAPING my own daughter any time I want to, besides, the law’s on MY side, and her mother doesn’t believe her…

What do you think is gonna happen, to this child who will eventually, become adult?  Yeah, I can’t even begin to IMAGINE it…………

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Filed under Abuse of Power, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Abusing Someone's Trust, Basic Human Rights, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Bullying, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Deaths Caused by Love, Despair, Excuses, Incest, Messed Up Values, Observations, Rapes, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

The Husband Died, the Son is Ill, the Girlfriend Scammed the Woman for Forty Million Dollars

Vulnerability is the cause of being scammed here, from the Newspapers, translated…

A woman, Chen saw that her childhood best friend after she retired from the banks, she’d weathered through the death of her husband, her eldest son’s divorce, and she had a stroke herself, claimed that she knew a “master”, attempted of scamming her best friend for money using that she wanted to help her get rid of her bad luck, and, as her former colleague realized that something wasn’t quite right and called the police, that, was how this scam got busted, and the D.A. asked for Chen to be taken into custody, which the judge allowed for.

The police pointed out, that the sixty-seven year-old Chen grew up with the victim, and so, she’d trusted Chen, but, Chen too advantage of the victim’s husband dying, her eldest son fallen ill, her younger son in the U.S., working, she felt lonely and empty, in a year’s time, she’d managed, to scam her for about forty million dollars.

The police stated, that last year in August, Chen told the victim, that she knew a “master” who knew how to turn her luck around, to ward off her bad luck, but she must put up the money for the procedures, Chen used the fact, that the victim’s husband had died, because there was something bad in her karma, her eldest son’s divorce, as well as her stroke, are all, due to difficulties in her life, wanted the woman to pay a huge sum of money, to have rituals performed for her.

Later, Chen told the victim, that she was hexed by a former coworker, and that she must pay some money, to have the hex removed, or, she will lose her life, and her offspring will have bad luck too.  The victim had, given thirty million dollars N.T. to Chen, and Chen said, that she is in charge of manipulating the prices on the sales of properties, that she could make sure that the victim gets her property’s value increased, and the woman had signed over a house that she has in a very highly-priced neighborhood, to the bank, for ten million dollars N.T. for Chen to use.

Last month, Chen asked the woman to take her retirement pension which was very good from the banks out, to give it to her in cash, and the woman’s former colleagues realized that something wasn’t quite right, he’d notified the police, and, got the victim to use $100,000N.T., to lure Chen out, and, the police busted her.

Chen stated, that she was looking out for her old friend, that it wasn’t fraud, the police booked her on fraud, and, the judge allowed for her to be taken into custody after the D.A. pleaded the case.

So, this, is the downside of trusting someone too much, like this woman, who’d trusted the scam artist, and ended up, losing almost everything she had, but gladly, she didn’t, and this scam artist used her friendship with the woman, and she knew the woman’s state of mind, how she felt she was having a good run of bad luck, and that, was how she was able to scam her.

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Betrayals, Cause & Effect, Criminals, Current Events, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Issues of the Society, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, Scams, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Awareness, Story-Telling, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence