Category Archives: Adoption

What? I’m Korean!

Finding out why, and, letting go of that feeling of being betrayed, realizing, that what the adults in your life did, was what they thought was, best for you, translated…

Ever since I could recall, I’d lived alone, with my mother in Korea, we’d never spent, a day apart. Later, I’d come to Taiwan to study, to marry, to have children, and settled down in Taipei, with my mother there, by my side. But, shortly after she passed, my former classmates from Korea sent me a weird news: there were, a couple of Koreans who were, desperately, searching for me, and claimed that they were, my relatives.

How’s that possible? Am I, zoomed in, by the international scam artists?

From before when there was only a small circle of Asians we’d associated ourselves with, there’s, that invisible sense of pride from being Chinese, that was, that sense of superiority of being Chinese, not wanting to be with the Koreans, we were, living, on someone else’s land, but felt, that they were, second class citizens. This weird belief, showed the most when someone is arguing with an Asian person, when we only needed to blurt out, “You looked like a Korean!”, it was, the biggest sort of insult to the individual, and, the person you’re arguing with will totally get outraged when you’d called them that.

korean children adopted 的圖片結果like this family???  Photo from online…

Growing up in this sort of an atmosphere, I’d only begged to pass the Korean language exams, and, every other course in high school, I’d made straight A’s, only Korean, I’d scored toward the bottom; and, my communication abilities was just enough, for me to use when I go shopping in the marketplaces.

When the Korean who’d come met me to show me he was related to me, he’d provided the adoption papers, and photos of me as a young child, mailed everything to me, and, all of those, “evidences” proved, that I was, a Korean, heads down!

Isn’t it outrageous, thinking that I was, Chinese all along, and then, I turned out to be, Korean? This was, the biggest kind of irony. I refused to admit that I was, Korean, I hated that classmate who’d, exposed me for who I was, and I’d, hated my birthmother, for giving me up for adoption.

After six months’ worth of struggles, my second eldest sister kept making those international calls to care for me, and, repeatedly, sent the presents to my husband and my two children, and my heart finally, started, to disarm itself, and finally agreed to, meet with them.

In the city of Suwon, I’d finally, met my five sisters and my younger brother. All these middle-aged uncles and aunts, as they’d, described of the hardship and trials they’d weathered through in life, I’d not heard a single word of complaint, their persistence, optimism, passion, comparing to my own prejudices, my aloofness, my dissatisfactions, made me so ashamed I wanted to find a hole to hide in.

What right had I, to hold my prejudices against Koreans? And, why can’t I understand, the pains and hardships my mother who’d carried me for ten whole months, and know how trying it must’ve been, for her, to give me up for adoption? Had it been not my birthfather’s death when he was way too young, had it not been my mother being too young, and needed to remarry, had it not been for my second eldest sister crying for one whole weeks at my adopted mother’s home, and got “returned”, and I got sent up for adoption, my fate would’ve been, so totally, different, how could I have gotten to live as an only child, cherished, sent to Taiwan for my college years, to become a teacher, to meet a good man, and marry and have children.

korean children adopted 的圖片結果or this???  Photo from online…

And now, both my mothers had passed, but the love they had for me, was enough, to last me, my whole life. Toward my birthmother, other than being grateful, there’s, that extra understanding; for my adoptive mother, other than, being grateful, there’s that sense of, missing her forever!

And so, it’s all due to fate, that this had, happened, and, back when you were a child, you may not understand WHY it was, that you were, given up for adoption, and perhaps, you’d carried the resentments toward your birthparents, for giving you up, and your adoptive parents, to keeping the truth from you, but, as you got older, and started your own family, you’d, realized, that given the situations of your past, all those adults did what they thought was, best for you, and, you’d become, grateful, for having everything that you have in life…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Adoption, Awareness, Because of Love, Childhood, Choices, Connections, Cost of Living, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Perspectives, Socialization, Things Left Behind, Values

Don’t Record, Don’t Watch, the Only Way to Stop the Footages of Sex from Leaking Out Out of Revenge

The ONLY way, of KILLING, ELIMINATING this ILL of society is by the simple principle of SUPPLY & DEMAND, if there’s no demand, then, there wouldn’t, be a need for, supplies, would there? Of course N-O-T! From the Newspapers, translated…

There’s, an increased opportunities for students to log online and use the friendship apps to make friends, and recently, there’d been, in influx of “revenge style pornography” lately, the Department of Education reminded the parents, to show MORE cares and concerns toward their children’s activities online, and their habits of using the internet, to prevent them from being victimized, or, a perpetrator, in the instances of “revenge style pornography”.

The Department of Education’s directors of student matters and special education stated, that “revenge-style pornography” is defined as not getting consent from the parties involved, to spread the intimate photos, or images for other people’s viewing, to spreading it out to the victims’ relatives, friends, or families as threats, and this happens, normally, in a break up or in cases where the scam artists scammed people for love online, it’d broken the laws of the rights of one’s own bodies, the privacies, and reputations, and, if the related files were, passed abroad, or got saved by someone, and, this would, continue, to damage the victims continually.

And, if we want to prevent this sort of revenge-style pornography from getting into schools all over, the officials pointed out, that the individuals can, prevent themselves, from being victimizes, to set up the emotional connections with someone, and NEVER send the photos of intimacy to one another, and, the two individuals shouldn’t be asking one another for it in the first place, and, if you know that a classmate, or a friend or relative, or family member’s photos of intimacy were spreading all over the internet, you should notify the police, and if you’re involved, in spreading out the footages, you will be held, accountable, legally too.

Because during the winter vacations, the students will have more time online, the Department of Education reminds the parents, to get to know your children’s habits of online usage, to use the programs offered by the department of education, to prevent your children from, surfing to porn, or drug websites. At the same time, the parents must show care and concerns when the children head out, especially when meeting up with someone from online, to protect oneself more, to prevent cases of rape or sexual harassments.

After school starts, the Department of Education also called out to the instructors, to see if there are abnormalities in the students’ emotional responses, to detect and diminish the cases of “revenge-style pornography” early, to protect the students’ right to learn, and to live safely, inside the campuses.

And so, this, is still NOT a one-man job, preventing ALL of this, and yet, because of the basic ECONOMIC principle (supply AND demand), there’s, NO sure way, to prevent this sort of SHIT from happening, and we can only, keep on, educating the MASSES about the dangers of these sorts of SHITS that are, happening all around us, but, it’s still, in the individuals who are, involved, to PREVENT these1 sorts of SHITS from happening, don’t do it, don’t share photos of intimacies with anybody, because you will, get SCREWED over!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Adoption, Cost of Living, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, On the Wrong Side of the Law, Sex Sells, sexual misconducts, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex

Who Lost Me Twenty-Nine Years Ago, a British Police Officer Crossed the Seas, to Find Her Mother

A story on adoption, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Er-Bo Wang, who was just a little over a month ago back in 1986, was abandoned in front of the Social Services sector of Cardinal Tien’s Hospital in Hsintien, with a note from her birth mother, “Too poor to keep this child, someone please help us raise her up.”  Six months ago, she was adopted by a British couple.  Wang is now, twenty-nine, works as a female police officer in England, she’d asked the Children Welfare Foundation, to help her search for her birth mother, hoped that she could finally meet up with her birth mother this Mother’s Day.

The social worker, Huang, from Children Welfare Foundation and Adolescent Adoption Information said, that Er-Bo Wang’s name was given by the facility that took her in.  Back then, her birthmother never left ANY thing that could identify her with, and, in this big vast world, it’ll be like searching for a needle in a haystack.  And so, in January, Wang got in touch with the Child Welfare Foundation, hoped, that with the assistance of the media, as well as the help from the public here, she could finally meet her family of origin, so she won’t feel like a duckweed that just drifts from place to place anymore.

Er-Bo Wang’s adoptive father is British, adoptive mother is German, and, there was also a younger sister of three years who was also adopted from Taiwan.  Er-Bo Wang said, that since she could remember, she’d known, that she was adopted, that her adoptive parents didn’t hold anything from her past back from her, and they’d even used children’s books, to help her understand what being adopted meant.  When her adoptive parents told her that she had other parents, she felt it was normal, and didn’t go through the emotional upheavals.

She said, that her adoptive parents are very supportive toward her, wanting to find her birth mother.  She will come back to Taiwan, to “find her roots”, and her adoptive parents and sister will also accompany her, “I’d never been to Taiwan, I wanted to get to know the land I was born in.”

Er-Bo Wang said, that her adoptive parents gave her a lot of love, and they’d talked about any and everything.   But, with the coming of age, not knowing her birth mother made her feel that “there’s something missing in life, there’s a hole in my heart.”, and, she believed, that by finding her birth mother, it might feel that void.

“If I don’t look for my birth mother now, I will regret this for the rest of my life!”, Er-Bo Wang said, toward her birth mother, she has no hatred, she could understand, that her mother must’ve had her hardships when she’d given her up, in order to her a better life, she must let go.  And now, she just wanted to know, if her birth mother was doing okay, and if she’d thought about her all these years, “I wanted to hug my mother, tell her thank you, and that I’m doing fine in life right now!”

And so, this, is a woman’s journey, to finding out where she comes from, and, it’s that way, with a lot of children who were adopted, without knowing the reason why they were given up first, many of them would hate their birthparents for giving them up, but, this woman was thankful toward her own birthmother because had her birthmother not given her up, she wouldn’t have had a good life so far.

Leave a comment

Filed under Abandonment of Children, Adoption, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Connections, Cost of Living, Expectations, Family Matters, Kindness Shown, Life, News Stories, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life

When the Dogs Found Their Homes

Translated…

This, is the story of three dogs.

Six is a dog that’s stayed in the shelters for six years, the coat was primary black, with tiger stripes mixed into him, and the white hair around his nozzles stated how he’s no longer young anymore.  He was abandoned by his owner, don’t know how, but he’d miraculously escape the fate of euthanasia, but, the color of his fur was so messy, that he didn’t gain the popularities of those who wanted to adopt, and so, Six just, sat in the big kennels, leaning against the wire door frames of the cages.  He isn’t timid like those newcomers, nor does he go out of his way, to entertain those who visited the shelter, perhaps, he’d once expected, and was once, very unsettled too, but, these sort of days had gone on endlessly, he’d really not known what he was waiting for anymore.

Six saw other dogs come and go, fight for food and play games, he didn’t know, that some of the dogs have the chance to sleep on their owners’ soft beds, don’t know that there were dogs, running free, and digging up the yards, the shelter would from time to time, let the dogs out, and this became, his entertainment these couple of years.  Finally, one day, Six was placed on the euthanize” list, the volunteer who felt sad put Six’s story online, and that article was posted and reposted, and transferred amongst 364 individuals.

Huei-Jing also read this article, she’d thought, for an entire night, and, right on the day before Six was about to get euthanized, she’d picked Six up.  She’d moved, from the small suite in the city, to a small house in the suburbs, to allow Six to live with her two other dogs.  And now, Six is nine years old, and his second life is amazing.

Before Eggyolk became Eggyolk, he’d tramped in front of a super convenience store for two, three weeks, he’s not a professional stray, so, he’d waited, dumbfounded, at the busy street corners.  He was way too malnourished, and it’d gotten Sophie’s attention, and, Sophie bought an egg stewed with tea leaves for him, but the store clerk told her that the dog couldn’t stay outside the shops.

Later on, Eggyolk’s leg was injured, he was more timid than he ever was, without any appetite too, he’d insisted to stay on the streets, could he be waiting, for the owner who’d left him?  Sophie couldn’t sleep, wanted to take Eggyolk away, but fearing that he wouldn’t go with her, worried that he might bite people because of how nervous he became, fearing that getting his legs fixed would run up her bills………but, all these worries, couldn’t beat how when Sophie broke the egg up in front of him, how Eggyolk waited so patiently, that, was a dog, waiting to be fed by his owner.

That day, she’d bought another hard broiled egg, with her friend, Sonya, feeding Eggyolk and carrying on in conversation, she’d quietly taken out a collar, tried to place it around his neck, twice, and, it’d worked.

Sophie asked Eggyolk, that his owner won’t come back for him, that his foot was injured, could he come with her?  Eggyolk whined a couple of times, made the decision for himself.  And now, Eggyolk is living with Sonya, slowly, gained weight, he’s no longer unsettled, there are now, two dogs at Sonya’s house, but, it’s okay, they don’t really care about those rituals.

Black is a dog that showed up by the side of the six-lane road, he feared people, would wander, not knowing where he can find shelters for the rain, Dzi-Ting found him, and would go to feed even daily, saw how he was chased by other dogs, she’d gone home, crying.

Later on, Dzi-Ting and two other people who don’t know one another, managed to get Black to come.  Black was in his final stage of cancer, his tumor had grown from his upper jaw into his brains, his eyes are nearly blind because of the pressures from the tumors, there weren’t that many teeth left, his back paw seemed to have gotten severed by the animal traps………during those days, don’t know how Black is able to survive.  When he was in the hospital for treatment, he had two square meals, and could have the meds, to help ease the discomforts of his body, as he slept, he’d snored so very loudly, it’s been too long since he was able to rest easily.  The fourth day after he was taken to the veterinary hospital, Black chose, to sleep, for a very, very, very long time, he never woke up again.

These, are three small stories of three fragile lives, the hardships they’d endured were from the evils of man, but, it was also because of the kindness of man, they could still have some happiness in their lives.  Let’s not ignore these lives, the dogs have a short life, so, do not abandon, do not attack them, they get ill, get caught, DO just try to be kind, a can, a bowl of water, a chance to be treated by the veterinarians, a home, we can be in control, of how a life is to end, happily, or miserably.

Such touching stories, isn’t it?  And this is to advocate, NOT abandoning your own pets, if you got them, DO love them, and take good care of them, don’t let them be without a home, after all, even though they can’t speak (woof!), they still have feelings, so, treat them nicely, plus, wouldn’t you WANT someone to take you home, if you were left out on the streets too???  Have some EMPATHY here!!!

2 Comments

Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Adoption, Because of Love, Being Exposed, Choices, Cost of Living, Kindness Shown, Life, Properties of Life

Adopting Your Flesh-and-Blood

Why on EARTH, would anyone need to do that?  Oh wait, it’s, an ILLEGITIMATE child, isn’t it???  Yup!

Adopting your flesh and blood, legally, because, although s/he was “made” (yeah, and your point being???) from your god DAMN (no, still NOT pissed here!!!) FUCKING (oopsy!!!) T-A-D-P-O-L-E, but because the kid in “question” didn’t get “combined” with your wife’s EGG, isn’t that right?

Adopting your flesh-and-blood, legally, that, is just another LOOPHOLE, to legalizing adultery, after all, you CAN sever the ties with ALL them BITCHES and WHORES you’d ever FUCKED, but, how can you possibly, sever the BLOOD ties, with your own offspring, so, this, IS a legal LOOPHOLE, that gives the THUMBS UP to cheaters, infidelities, and, that, is like saying YES to murder, subconsciously, and, just because the CRIMES you’d committed were NOT perceived, or even, interpreted AS a crime, that still doesn’t mean, that it, is NOT a C-R-I-M-E.

Adopting your flesh-and-blood legally, because, you did NOT want the bondage of a marriage, after all, you can damn well, stay faithful to a woman or a man, without that signed document by the JUDGE, and, it’d saved you the troubles, if and when, in the future, the two of you decided to SPLIT, right???  Uh, yeah!!!

2 Comments

Filed under Adoption, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Excuses, Holes in the Justice System, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Issues of the Society, Messed Up Values, Trends, Wake Up Calls

Keeping Kids Locked Up for Twenty-Two Hours a Day…

This, is NOT only JUST being unfit parents here, from Yahoo.com, by: M. Gillespie…

A husband and wife accused of making three of their adopted children virtual prisoners inside their home pleaded not guilty Wednesday in a case that began after prosecutors say two girls crashed the family van while trying to make their escape.

The 58-year-old adopted father is charged with sexually abusing the two girls, now ages 17 and 14. He and his 64-year-old wife are both charged with kidnapping, felonious assault and endangering children in Ashtabula County, east of Cleveland.

The Associated Press is not naming the suspects to avoid identifying the girls. County Prosecutor Nicholas Iarocci said the couple also abused and neglected an adopted son, now 21, who is mentally disabled.

Iarocci said Wednesday that the couple “repeatedly and harshly” beat the girls and older son with a paddle that eventually became stained with blood. The three victims were given little to eat and were malnourished, Iarocci said.

He called living conditions inside the home “deplorable.”

The victims were typically allowed out of their rooms for two hours a day for school lessons and to use the bathroom, Iarocci said. They were not allowed to socialize with other children in recent years, he said.

Iarocci could not explain why a younger adopted son, now 13, was not abused.

Indictments allege the abuse occurred over a two-year period starting in September 2011. The investigation began after the two girls escaped from their shared bedroom in August 2013, sped away in the van and got into an accident, Iarocci said.

The girls were cited in juvenile court, which led them to tell a probation officer about the abuse, Iarocci said. The three children and the man were removed from the home and placed in foster care a month after the crash.

The couple adopted the four children about 11 years ago. The abuse began after two teenage boys who also lived there left the home after turning 18, Iarocci said.

The abuse inflicted psychological damage on the girls, but they and their older adopted brother have thrived in foster care, Iarocci said.

“They’re almost different children,” he said, adding that the girls are being adopted by another family.

So, this case, is quite weird, if you ask me, because if you have the heart, the desire, AND the mind, to adopt children, then, what would, lead you to, abuse and neglect them so, or maybe, because pain was inflicted onto you when you were growing up, and, you’d just, wanted to be the hand that hurt now, and this, is how abuse still rolled on down…and by cutting these kids off of contact with the outside world, I’m thinking (then again, I would not know here!!!) that the parents are trying, to isolate them, so they’d become totally, completely, dependent on them, so, this may also have something to do with how the parents wanted their adopted children to not grow up and move away………

Leave a comment

Filed under Abuse, Adoption, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Broken Promises, Cost of Living, Excuses, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Issues of the Society, Loss, Negligence, News Stories, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Parenting/Parenthood, Psycho Parents, Social Awareness, Tragedies in the World, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Her Adoptive Mother Was Selfless in Helping Her Find Her Birth Mother with the Assistance from the Police, and Now, She Has the Love from Both Mothers

That’s the spirit, isn’t it???  From the Papers, translated..

A sixteen-year-old, Liao’s birth parents were separated before she was born, from when she was three, she was raised by her maternal grandmother’s landlady, the adoptive mother treated her as if she were her own, but, she still felt that she wasn’t whole, she’d missed her birth mom; with the assistance from the Sinchuang Police Substation, the mother-daughter pair who hadn’t seen each other for thirteen years met up, the adoptive mother was happy to see this as well, the adolescent girl now has love from both her mothers.

Lin, the woman who’d adopted the girl said, back then, she saw how the grandmother who wasn’t well off at all raising her granddaughter alone, she felt awful, and the little girl was very close to her too, and, loved her so, and although her children are both teens, after she’d talked with her grandmother, she’d told her she was interested in adopting the child.

And because of her religious beliefs, she’d even consulted the gods about it, turns out, that the two of them have the affinity of mother and daughter after all, although the adolescent’s birth father was opposed to this, he hadn’t signed the papers, to allow for the adoption to take place, but the woman still treated the adolescent girl as if she were her own, raised her up, and after the child’s maternal grandmother moved away, they’d lost contact.

Awhile ago, the adolescent talked of how she’d wanted to find her birth mother, the adoptive mother, Lin was supportive of that, and so, she’d asked the help from the social worker of the social welfare center, last year, she’d gone to the police station, to ask for assistance, but at first, she only had the name of the birthmother, without finding out how to contact her.

Later on, the officer from the birthing registration department was able to track down the girl’s birthmother’s older sister, but she’d suspected that it was a scam, until the young woman told the story that almost no one knew, of how she’d gotten her name changed, did the aunt believe her, and, in the evenings, she managed to get into contact with her birthmother.

But, the birthmother said, that she couldn’t raise her daughter up back then, that, was why she’d given her to her own mother, and, in the decades’ times, she’d felt awful, for abandoning her child, and she missed her so, and never worked up the courage to track down her daughter.

On the 25th, the police had originally arranged for the meeting of the adoptive and birth mother, after the adolescent learned, she’d insisted on taking a leave of absence from school to go, but, she was kept, in the office next to the room where her birthmother and her adoptive mother met up, during which time, she kept begging and pleading, said that she didn’t hate her mother for abandoning her, just missed her mother.

Later on, in the encouragement and communication from the officer who assisted in tracking her down, the birthmother agreed to see her daughter, when they’d met, they held on tightly to one another and cried, and, the bystanders were all very touched, and backed slowly, out of the room, to allow the estranged mother-daughter pair to talk alone, for over an hour.

The birthmother kept on apologizing, and the adoptive mother, Lin also consoled with her, told her, that she would be willing, to keep on caring for the teenager, and she’s welcome to visit at anytime, so, their daughter can have the love from both her mothers.

And so, this, is a great ending, isn’t it?  Because the adoptive mother was open enough, not fearing, that if this teen sees her birthmother, then, she would forget about her raising her, and, it’s with this kind of generosity from the adoptive mother, that this story ended, perfectly.

Leave a comment

Filed under Abandonment of Children, Adoption, Cost of Living, Kindness Shown, Letting Go, Life