The Love for Their Adopted Child

Love is, thicker than, blood, that is, what this story of how this family was “made” possible, showed…translated…

A lot of couples who longed to become parents, but couldn’t, due to, infertility, and although, they can’t have children who shared their blood, they may well be, having the love of children to them.

My older female cousin and her husband kept longing for children, but, five years after they were wed, no news, they’d worried that they’re, past the period of being fertile enough to carry, went to the hospital to get examined, and started their infertility treatments.  They’d tried everything, in vitro, getting their systems healthy enough by traditional Chinese medicine treatment means, asking the goddess to bless them with a child, drinking the herbal remedies, everything, but, there was, no end in sight.

And, no matter how hard they’d tried, things just, didn’t go as they wanted, and, they’d gotten caught up between becoming expectant, losing hope, they’d spun around for decades on end on this, and, what they’d weathered through, only those who’d gone through the same issues can, understand.

becoming a family! Photo from online

On the year my older cousin turned fifty, after discussing the matter with her husband, they were, prepared to become, parents then, decided to adopt.  After the grueling procedurals, they welcomed Kai, who’s not related to them by blood, into, the family.

The young life of only six-months old came into their lives, the midlife first-time mother was quite busy, my older cousin quit her job to stay at home with her adopted son, and, she’d now found a brand new focus in her life, and became, more energetic.  With a child, everything’s set, with the joys and settledness of being parents, they’d hoped to give the young boy a warm home.

In the adopted family, the most difficult is the matter of telling the adopted children where they came from, the fears, the worries that came with the questions, some families chose to not disclose for the children’s lives, some families, were open about the matter.  Time flew, Kai is older, and, my cousin decided that as her son was in high school, is more matured psychologically, to tell him the truth, in case one day, as he’d discovered that he’d been adopted on his own, the shock may hit him, too, hard.

Recalled that day, as my cousin invited her father and my mother to their home to eat, Kai sensed something in the air, he saw how uneasy we all, were, and as my cousin took Kai’s hand in hers, and announced that they have something to tell him, he’d started first, “mom, dad, I know what you were worried about, a year ago, I saw in the household registry by accident, I already knew that I was, adopted, thank you for giving me all your love, I love you guys!”.  The worries were gone, instantly, my cousin and her husband cried as they’d hugged Kai, “Thank you for becoming our son!”  this was a love, that runs, deeper than, blood.

the thing that this family shared: Love! Photo from online

The experts had suggested, “the children can ask the adults what they wanted to know, then, based off of the child’s individual level of understanding, maturity, then, honestly, hold that conversation, to show the brighter side to adoption”.  Adoption should NOT be a tabooed secret, giving the child double the love, that’s, even more, important.

There’s the news of how there are close to eight hundred children waiting for a home in Taiwan, and, adopting the children slowly became a trend here, and it takes patience for the couples who can’t have children to adopt, the process is quite long, it took my cousin and her family, a total of TWO whole years, to formally, registered Kai into their family, my cousin laughed and told me, “it’s longer than the ten months of, pregnancy!”

So, this is, one alternative way that you can have children, by adoption, and, this is quite important, because by adopting the children, you are not just relating to them in parent and children form, but also, in love, and, there are so many children who are in need of better homes in the world, and if you can’t have children, then, you might consider adopting, after all, love will always be thicker than, blood!

With the Evidence of Childcare, Seen as Adopting, the Illegitimate Child Inherited the Father’s Properties, the Grandmother Fought Against it in Court, the Court Found the Grandmother Lost

From the family court, CIRCUS, as the son by blood, battles it out with his, blood grandmother over his father’s, inheritances, because daddy’s now, DEAD!  Off of the Newspapers, translated…

There are the many situations that surround the means of children being born out of wedlock, on the means of inheritance, a man, Lin stated dating a woman, Weng, and had a child together in Taichung, but they’d not gotten married, and shortly after their son was born, Lin died, and, Lin’s property was, temporarily, registered under his mother’s name, and, many years later, as the son grew up, he’d wanted to inherit the properties, but Lin’s mother refused to acknowledge that that man was her own, grandson, they went to court.

The experts of legal realm stated, that based off of civil law, after the adoption papers are filed, the illegitimate children are seen as the children from marriage; even if there’s no adoption on record, so long as the birthfather showed any behaviors I upbringing of the child, it constitutes as adopting, and, the illegitimate child’s rights are, same as the children born in a marriage.

The courts investigated, that Lin and Weng started dating, and cohabited together in Taichung, a little more than a year later, they had a child, but, not long thereafter, Lin died, and, Lin’s properties had been registered under Lin’s mother’s own name for many years, the grandson, Weng stated, that his own mother was dating Lin, that they’d behaved like a husband and wife, that as his mother was pregnant, his birthfather stayed by her side, took care of her, and, as he was born, he’d been raised by both his parents, lived with his own birthfather, and all of this, his paternal grandmother knew.

The grandson told, that after the death of his birthfather, his grandmother told his mother, that she will pass the registry of Lin’s property to him when he turns eighteen, that during this period of time when he was still underage, the property should be registered under her name for the time being, so she could have a place to live in.  His birthmother considered the love she’d shared with his birthfather, agreed to have the property registered under his grandmother’s name first, and yet, a couple of years ago, his grandmother sent a letter of proof, that he and his birthfather weren’t related by blood, that he didn’t have the right to inherit.

Based off of the DNA test, Lin and Weng’s DNA is over ninety-nine-percent related on the paternal front, plus there were the families testifying how Lin had helped in the upbringing of the son, the courts found, that the adoption was proven, that they’re, related as father and son, that Lin’s mother didn’t have the right to inherit her own son’s properties.

The legal experts analyzed, in the cases of adoption of illegitimate children, if the birthfather had died, and, there’s no way of confirming the blood relations of the birthfather, and, the means of confirming blood relations can be achieved through the testing of the paternal side.  And if the birthfather is still living, then, the individual can sue the birthfather, to get the paternity verified. And so, the culprit here is still, the MONEY, because “grandma” wanted all of the dad’s inheritance, I mean, after all, she had, raised him, and she deserved the money after he passed, but, the offspring has more right, that’s how the order goes, the wife (legally), then the offspring, then, the parents, and in this case, because this man didn’t have a marriage verification to the woman, the woman’s out of the picture, but the son birthed out of wedlock isn’t, and his mother tried to get the money that didn’t belong to her in the first place, after all, she would be what???  The SECOND-in-line (right???) based off of the order of inheritance.

Loving You, a Child Who’s, Not, Mine…

I thought it was, impossible, loving you, a child who’s, not, mine, but I do, love you, oh so, very much…

When he brought you home, you were wrapped up inside, that warm blanket, and I’d, become your mother right then and there, and, it’d not mattered to me, where you came from, you were, mine for certain.

And, I watched you grow up, get into, your, equal share of troubles, and, when it came time for me, to pick up after your messes, yeah, I’d, complained, but, I remembered, that loving you, a child who’s, not, mine, was the choice I’d decided on, and, all the annoyances, went, away.

Loving you, a child who’s, not, mine, never thought I was, capable, of such, selfless kind of love, placing you before me, never thought I could, love someone so very much, since my own died.

But I love you, child, who’s, not mine, oh so dearly, so very, much, and I always will!

Do You EVER Regret, Giving Me Up???

Do you EVER regret, giving me up???  She’d, asked, aloud…

She was, given up, by her own mother, because she was way too young, and got knocked up, by a, married man…

And now, she’s, gone down, that same path that her own biological mother had, got knocked up too, by a, man who’s, already, engaged, and, there was, NO way he’s gonna, back out of that, engagement, after all, she was only, his, one-night, stand…

Do you EVER regret, giving me up???  Loud voice asked, waiting, for an answer, then, the answer came, in a, barely, audible, “peep”: of course I do, I had, no other, choice!

yet, unfortunately, the reality may not be, as “peachy” as this one stated…photo from online

Do you ever regret, giving me up???  Do you, EVER think, about that child you’d had, long, long, long ago, that you’d, already, ERASED out of your mind, huh???  Do you EVER regret, giving me up???  for me, I really could, care LESS, ‘cuz I still grew up, as I was, supposed to, surely, childhood, adolescent, and even now, adulthood is, still, too hard for me to handle sometimes, but heck, I’m handling it, way, way, WAY better than you ever had, M-O-M!

You shouldn’t have had me, and that, is the god DAMN truth!  And yet, for whatever PSYCHO reasons, you failed to get rid of me, and so, here I STAND, I don’t trust anybody, because of how I was, “let go of” by you, and learned at an early age, that I got, NOBODY I can count on, and, this lacking of attachment to someone stable, had MADE me into, who I currently am, and it got NOTHING to do with my nature, it has, EVERYTHING to do with how I got, “nurtured” (or rather, NOT nurtured) by you…

So thanks, old lady, for, absolutely, NOTHING here!

And that, would all that someone (don’t ask who!, ‘cuz, how the @#$% should I know who wrote this???) who was, given up at birth, wrote to her/his, birthmother…

Who Will Give the Babe His Name

Who will give the babe his name, who will own his blood, everybody started, wondering, as this child with unknown origins came to the world…

Who will give the babe his name, does it, really matter?  It’s not like you can, SHOVE this unwanted, unexpected CHILD back up his mama’s you-know-where, is it?  Uh-huh.

like this little one here?

photo from online

Who will give the babe his name, why is it important, the “ownership”, the belonging, of this, child who’s parents had, left him, huh?  And, isn’t the task at hand to help him find a good home that’ll, love him, that’ll, raise him like their own, to offer him enough love to grow strong?

So, why is “name” so important?  Oh yeah, because we only CARE about our blood, those who are, related to us by partial, of, full-blood, while the rest, well, don’t really, matter, does it???  Not………really.

And, this “babe”, unclaimed, unadopted, gained the name of, “baby Doe”, yay baby D-O-E!!!

What? I’m Korean!

Finding out why, and, letting go of that feeling of being betrayed, realizing, that what the adults in your life did, was what they thought was, best for you, translated…

Ever since I could recall, I’d lived alone, with my mother in Korea, we’d never spent, a day apart. Later, I’d come to Taiwan to study, to marry, to have children, and settled down in Taipei, with my mother there, by my side. But, shortly after she passed, my former classmates from Korea sent me a weird news: there were, a couple of Koreans who were, desperately, searching for me, and claimed that they were, my relatives.

How’s that possible? Am I, zoomed in, by the international scam artists?

From before when there was only a small circle of Asians we’d associated ourselves with, there’s, that invisible sense of pride from being Chinese, that was, that sense of superiority of being Chinese, not wanting to be with the Koreans, we were, living, on someone else’s land, but felt, that they were, second class citizens. This weird belief, showed the most when someone is arguing with an Asian person, when we only needed to blurt out, “You looked like a Korean!”, it was, the biggest sort of insult to the individual, and, the person you’re arguing with will totally get outraged when you’d called them that.

like this family???  Photo from online…

Growing up in this sort of an atmosphere, I’d only begged to pass the Korean language exams, and, every other course in high school, I’d made straight A’s, only Korean, I’d scored toward the bottom; and, my communication abilities was just enough, for me to use when I go shopping in the marketplaces.

When the Korean who’d come met me to show me he was related to me, he’d provided the adoption papers, and photos of me as a young child, mailed everything to me, and, all of those, “evidences” proved, that I was, a Korean, heads down!

Isn’t it outrageous, thinking that I was, Chinese all along, and then, I turned out to be, Korean? This was, the biggest kind of irony. I refused to admit that I was, Korean, I hated that classmate who’d, exposed me for who I was, and I’d, hated my birthmother, for giving me up for adoption.

After six months’ worth of struggles, my second eldest sister kept making those international calls to care for me, and, repeatedly, sent the presents to my husband and my two children, and my heart finally, started, to disarm itself, and finally agreed to, meet with them.

In the city of Suwon, I’d finally, met my five sisters and my younger brother. All these middle-aged uncles and aunts, as they’d, described of the hardship and trials they’d weathered through in life, I’d not heard a single word of complaint, their persistence, optimism, passion, comparing to my own prejudices, my aloofness, my dissatisfactions, made me so ashamed I wanted to find a hole to hide in.

What right had I, to hold my prejudices against Koreans? And, why can’t I understand, the pains and hardships my mother who’d carried me for ten whole months, and know how trying it must’ve been, for her, to give me up for adoption? Had it been not my birthfather’s death when he was way too young, had it not been my mother being too young, and needed to remarry, had it not been for my second eldest sister crying for one whole weeks at my adopted mother’s home, and got “returned”, and I got sent up for adoption, my fate would’ve been, so totally, different, how could I have gotten to live as an only child, cherished, sent to Taiwan for my college years, to become a teacher, to meet a good man, and marry and have children.

or this???  Photo from online…

And now, both my mothers had passed, but the love they had for me, was enough, to last me, my whole life. Toward my birthmother, other than being grateful, there’s, that extra understanding; for my adoptive mother, other than, being grateful, there’s that sense of, missing her forever!

And so, it’s all due to fate, that this had, happened, and, back when you were a child, you may not understand WHY it was, that you were, given up for adoption, and perhaps, you’d carried the resentments toward your birthparents, for giving you up, and your adoptive parents, to keeping the truth from you, but, as you got older, and started your own family, you’d, realized, that given the situations of your past, all those adults did what they thought was, best for you, and, you’d become, grateful, for having everything that you have in life…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Record, Don’t Watch, the Only Way to Stop the Footages of Sex from Leaking Out Out of Revenge

The ONLY way, of KILLING, ELIMINATING this ILL of society is by the simple principle of SUPPLY & DEMAND, if there’s no demand, then, there wouldn’t, be a need for, supplies, would there? Of course N-O-T! From the Newspapers, translated…

There’s, an increased opportunities for students to log online and use the friendship apps to make friends, and recently, there’d been, in influx of “revenge style pornography” lately, the Department of Education reminded the parents, to show MORE cares and concerns toward their children’s activities online, and their habits of using the internet, to prevent them from being victimized, or, a perpetrator, in the instances of “revenge style pornography”.

The Department of Education’s directors of student matters and special education stated, that “revenge-style pornography” is defined as not getting consent from the parties involved, to spread the intimate photos, or images for other people’s viewing, to spreading it out to the victims’ relatives, friends, or families as threats, and this happens, normally, in a break up or in cases where the scam artists scammed people for love online, it’d broken the laws of the rights of one’s own bodies, the privacies, and reputations, and, if the related files were, passed abroad, or got saved by someone, and, this would, continue, to damage the victims continually.

And, if we want to prevent this sort of revenge-style pornography from getting into schools all over, the officials pointed out, that the individuals can, prevent themselves, from being victimizes, to set up the emotional connections with someone, and NEVER send the photos of intimacy to one another, and, the two individuals shouldn’t be asking one another for it in the first place, and, if you know that a classmate, or a friend or relative, or family member’s photos of intimacy were spreading all over the internet, you should notify the police, and if you’re involved, in spreading out the footages, you will be held, accountable, legally too.

Because during the winter vacations, the students will have more time online, the Department of Education reminds the parents, to get to know your children’s habits of online usage, to use the programs offered by the department of education, to prevent your children from, surfing to porn, or drug websites. At the same time, the parents must show care and concerns when the children head out, especially when meeting up with someone from online, to protect oneself more, to prevent cases of rape or sexual harassments.

After school starts, the Department of Education also called out to the instructors, to see if there are abnormalities in the students’ emotional responses, to detect and diminish the cases of “revenge-style pornography” early, to protect the students’ right to learn, and to live safely, inside the campuses.

And so, this, is still NOT a one-man job, preventing ALL of this, and yet, because of the basic ECONOMIC principle (supply AND demand), there’s, NO sure way, to prevent this sort of SHIT from happening, and we can only, keep on, educating the MASSES about the dangers of these sorts of SHITS that are, happening all around us, but, it’s still, in the individuals who are, involved, to PREVENT these1 sorts of SHITS from happening, don’t do it, don’t share photos of intimacies with anybody, because you will, get SCREWED over!!!

Who Lost Me Twenty-Nine Years Ago, a British Police Officer Crossed the Seas, to Find Her Mother

A story on adoption, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

Er-Bo Wang, who was just a little over a month ago back in 1986, was abandoned in front of the Social Services sector of Cardinal Tien’s Hospital in Hsintien, with a note from her birth mother, “Too poor to keep this child, someone please help us raise her up.”  Six months ago, she was adopted by a British couple.  Wang is now, twenty-nine, works as a female police officer in England, she’d asked the Children Welfare Foundation, to help her search for her birth mother, hoped that she could finally meet up with her birth mother this Mother’s Day.

The social worker, Huang, from Children Welfare Foundation and Adolescent Adoption Information said, that Er-Bo Wang’s name was given by the facility that took her in.  Back then, her birthmother never left ANY thing that could identify her with, and, in this big vast world, it’ll be like searching for a needle in a haystack.  And so, in January, Wang got in touch with the Child Welfare Foundation, hoped, that with the assistance of the media, as well as the help from the public here, she could finally meet her family of origin, so she won’t feel like a duckweed that just drifts from place to place anymore.

Er-Bo Wang’s adoptive father is British, adoptive mother is German, and, there was also a younger sister of three years who was also adopted from Taiwan.  Er-Bo Wang said, that since she could remember, she’d known, that she was adopted, that her adoptive parents didn’t hold anything from her past back from her, and they’d even used children’s books, to help her understand what being adopted meant.  When her adoptive parents told her that she had other parents, she felt it was normal, and didn’t go through the emotional upheavals.

She said, that her adoptive parents are very supportive toward her, wanting to find her birth mother.  She will come back to Taiwan, to “find her roots”, and her adoptive parents and sister will also accompany her, “I’d never been to Taiwan, I wanted to get to know the land I was born in.”

Er-Bo Wang said, that her adoptive parents gave her a lot of love, and they’d talked about any and everything.   But, with the coming of age, not knowing her birth mother made her feel that “there’s something missing in life, there’s a hole in my heart.”, and, she believed, that by finding her birth mother, it might feel that void.

“If I don’t look for my birth mother now, I will regret this for the rest of my life!”, Er-Bo Wang said, toward her birth mother, she has no hatred, she could understand, that her mother must’ve had her hardships when she’d given her up, in order to her a better life, she must let go.  And now, she just wanted to know, if her birth mother was doing okay, and if she’d thought about her all these years, “I wanted to hug my mother, tell her thank you, and that I’m doing fine in life right now!”

And so, this, is a woman’s journey, to finding out where she comes from, and, it’s that way, with a lot of children who were adopted, without knowing the reason why they were given up first, many of them would hate their birthparents for giving them up, but, this woman was thankful toward her own birthmother because had her birthmother not given her up, she wouldn’t have had a good life so far.

When the Dogs Found Their Homes

Translated…

This, is the story of three dogs.

Six is a dog that’s stayed in the shelters for six years, the coat was primary black, with tiger stripes mixed into him, and the white hair around his nozzles stated how he’s no longer young anymore.  He was abandoned by his owner, don’t know how, but he’d miraculously escape the fate of euthanasia, but, the color of his fur was so messy, that he didn’t gain the popularities of those who wanted to adopt, and so, Six just, sat in the big kennels, leaning against the wire door frames of the cages.  He isn’t timid like those newcomers, nor does he go out of his way, to entertain those who visited the shelter, perhaps, he’d once expected, and was once, very unsettled too, but, these sort of days had gone on endlessly, he’d really not known what he was waiting for anymore.

Six saw other dogs come and go, fight for food and play games, he didn’t know, that some of the dogs have the chance to sleep on their owners’ soft beds, don’t know that there were dogs, running free, and digging up the yards, the shelter would from time to time, let the dogs out, and this became, his entertainment these couple of years.  Finally, one day, Six was placed on the euthanize” list, the volunteer who felt sad put Six’s story online, and that article was posted and reposted, and transferred amongst 364 individuals.

Huei-Jing also read this article, she’d thought, for an entire night, and, right on the day before Six was about to get euthanized, she’d picked Six up.  She’d moved, from the small suite in the city, to a small house in the suburbs, to allow Six to live with her two other dogs.  And now, Six is nine years old, and his second life is amazing.

Before Eggyolk became Eggyolk, he’d tramped in front of a super convenience store for two, three weeks, he’s not a professional stray, so, he’d waited, dumbfounded, at the busy street corners.  He was way too malnourished, and it’d gotten Sophie’s attention, and, Sophie bought an egg stewed with tea leaves for him, but the store clerk told her that the dog couldn’t stay outside the shops.

Later on, Eggyolk’s leg was injured, he was more timid than he ever was, without any appetite too, he’d insisted to stay on the streets, could he be waiting, for the owner who’d left him?  Sophie couldn’t sleep, wanted to take Eggyolk away, but fearing that he wouldn’t go with her, worried that he might bite people because of how nervous he became, fearing that getting his legs fixed would run up her bills………but, all these worries, couldn’t beat how when Sophie broke the egg up in front of him, how Eggyolk waited so patiently, that, was a dog, waiting to be fed by his owner.

That day, she’d bought another hard broiled egg, with her friend, Sonya, feeding Eggyolk and carrying on in conversation, she’d quietly taken out a collar, tried to place it around his neck, twice, and, it’d worked.

Sophie asked Eggyolk, that his owner won’t come back for him, that his foot was injured, could he come with her?  Eggyolk whined a couple of times, made the decision for himself.  And now, Eggyolk is living with Sonya, slowly, gained weight, he’s no longer unsettled, there are now, two dogs at Sonya’s house, but, it’s okay, they don’t really care about those rituals.

Black is a dog that showed up by the side of the six-lane road, he feared people, would wander, not knowing where he can find shelters for the rain, Dzi-Ting found him, and would go to feed even daily, saw how he was chased by other dogs, she’d gone home, crying.

Later on, Dzi-Ting and two other people who don’t know one another, managed to get Black to come.  Black was in his final stage of cancer, his tumor had grown from his upper jaw into his brains, his eyes are nearly blind because of the pressures from the tumors, there weren’t that many teeth left, his back paw seemed to have gotten severed by the animal traps………during those days, don’t know how Black is able to survive.  When he was in the hospital for treatment, he had two square meals, and could have the meds, to help ease the discomforts of his body, as he slept, he’d snored so very loudly, it’s been too long since he was able to rest easily.  The fourth day after he was taken to the veterinary hospital, Black chose, to sleep, for a very, very, very long time, he never woke up again.

These, are three small stories of three fragile lives, the hardships they’d endured were from the evils of man, but, it was also because of the kindness of man, they could still have some happiness in their lives.  Let’s not ignore these lives, the dogs have a short life, so, do not abandon, do not attack them, they get ill, get caught, DO just try to be kind, a can, a bowl of water, a chance to be treated by the veterinarians, a home, we can be in control, of how a life is to end, happily, or miserably.

Such touching stories, isn’t it?  And this is to advocate, NOT abandoning your own pets, if you got them, DO love them, and take good care of them, don’t let them be without a home, after all, even though they can’t speak (woof!), they still have feelings, so, treat them nicely, plus, wouldn’t you WANT someone to take you home, if you were left out on the streets too???  Have some EMPATHY here!!!

Adopting Your Flesh-and-Blood

Why on EARTH, would anyone need to do that?  Oh wait, it’s, an ILLEGITIMATE child, isn’t it???  Yup!

Adopting your flesh and blood, legally, because, although s/he was “made” (yeah, and your point being???) from your god DAMN (no, still NOT pissed here!!!) FUCKING (oopsy!!!) T-A-D-P-O-L-E, but because the kid in “question” didn’t get “combined” with your wife’s EGG, isn’t that right?

Adopting your flesh-and-blood, legally, that, is just another LOOPHOLE, to legalizing adultery, after all, you CAN sever the ties with ALL them BITCHES and WHORES you’d ever FUCKED, but, how can you possibly, sever the BLOOD ties, with your own offspring, so, this, IS a legal LOOPHOLE, that gives the THUMBS UP to cheaters, infidelities, and, that, is like saying YES to murder, subconsciously, and, just because the CRIMES you’d committed were NOT perceived, or even, interpreted AS a crime, that still doesn’t mean, that it, is NOT a C-R-I-M-E.

Adopting your flesh-and-blood legally, because, you did NOT want the bondage of a marriage, after all, you can damn well, stay faithful to a woman or a man, without that signed document by the JUDGE, and, it’d saved you the troubles, if and when, in the future, the two of you decided to SPLIT, right???  Uh, yeah!!!