Category Archives: Obstacles in a Relationship

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

Getting Out from Postpartum Depression

Translated…

Upon hearing recently, that a woman committed suicide due to postpartum depression, after work, my husband inquired, if I’d felt okay lately?  If something’s up, I needed to let him know.

Compared to three years ago when my firstborn got here, my husband had metamorphosed from that self-centered big boy, into a man who puts his family first.  That year, my first child came, my husband’s “living life his way” made me feel so very helpless and alone, the “active participations” from my in-laws made me feel even MORE pressures; plus the economical burdens, I’d washed my face with my tears every single day.

Even after my month long recuperation is up, the anxieties, the self-mutilations, even the thought of taking my child with me to suicide, still circled around my mind again and again.  I’d told my husband of it, and, he’d blamed me for being too anal.  What’s most impressive was, when I’d told him I’d wanted to get professional medical help, he’d replied, “You should go to Africa instead, fighting to survive there every single day, that’ll keep your mind away from feeling depressed!”

Whether or not it was a joke, I’d still can’t believe, that someone who’d educated as he, a dentist, graduated from a public university, can say something so awful.  And, if my husband, who had medical trainings behaved as such, then, what trials must the other women who are also dealing with postpartum depression be faced with, would they be able to, receive the understandings of their separate families?

Thankfully, I have a supportive group of church friends, they’d helped take care of my child, took me to the free counseling sessions offered by the church; the counselor, after knowing my situation, encouraged me to see a professional.  In the seeing of the psychiatrist, I’d found, that other than the medications, the national health insurances also covered the talk therapy sessions as well.

Through the talking therapy session, I’d slowly felt better, learned to introspect and gotten some techniques to help me get along better with my husband.  From the three to four times fight a day, to one fight every three to four months, and now, we have two babies, and are expecting a third.  My friends joked about how intimate I must be getting with my husband, driving us to have so many children.  Yeah, certainly, compared to the postpartum depression experiences, we are now, interacting, so much better.  Postpartum depression may be a crisis of a marriage, but it can also be a chance, to better your interactions with your partners too.

And so, this woman worked, very hard, to get herself OUT of her own postpartum troubles, and, postpartum depression is still NOT a myth, you LOSERS, it’s real, and so, the next time your separate ladies start showing signs after they gave birth to YOUR young, DO show us some kindness!

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Family Matters, Healing Process, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Obstacles in a Relationship, Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Psychosis & Other Problems from After Birth, Properties of Life

Pride Stood in the Way of Apology

Pride stood in the way of apology, as that, is how it goes usually!

Pride stood in the way of apology, don’t know why, but that HUGE rock just won’t budge, it can’t be moved, at all!

Pride stood in the way of apology, although I knew that I’d done wrong, and, I KNOW, that I should be crawling back to you, but, I’m just not, because of my own pride, and, I can already foresee, what this pride’ll get me: losing you, and yet, I still can’t quite reason with my pride here.

Pride stood in the way of apology, and, there’s NO way ‘round that, as I got too much pride, always had, and, I just won’t be the first one, to raise up that white flag, in this war called L-O-V-E!

Pride stood in the way of apology, and, pride will eventually, RUIN us, and, by then, it would be, too late, to take back our prides, because the love had ended, and pride was, the CULPRIT, in murdering this love of ours…

Pride stood in the way of apology, it’d become this HUGE and impenetrable wall, and, we are on either of its sides, screaming our lungs out at one another, but, neither one of us heard the words coming out of each other’s mouth.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Issues on Gender, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship

Held Her Grudges Toward Her Ex-Boyfriends, She’d Committed Arson

Look how long, a woman can and will hold her grudges, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Wang, believed that she was unjustly dumped by her two former boyfriends, several times, in the depth of the nights, she’d broken the windows of their cars, and had committed arson, set their cars on fire, as a way, of taking revenge on them for dumping her; the victims suspected that Wang was responsible for their cars being set ablaze, they’d installed surveillance cameras, and the cameras captured Wang, dressing up as someone else, and setting their cars on fire.  The police arrested the mildly emotional and physically handicapped woman, she was very emotional, stressed, “I just felt uneven!”, that, was why she’d committed arson, on her former boyfriends’ cars, the D.A. asked the judge to allow for her incarceration based off of public endangerment, the judge allowed.

The police investigated and found, that Wang had been divorced for several years, a little over a decade ago, started dating a man named Tsai, three years ago after they broke up, she’d met Cheng, last year, she and Cheng broke up too, although, Wang is now, with her third boyfriend, however, she felt that she was abandoned by both of her previous exes, she felt that it was unfair.

This January, in the middle of the nights, Wang was suspected of breaking the windows of Tsai and Cheng’s sedans, and, they’d instinctively believed, that the incidents were related to Wang, but, they’d kept it quiet.  Late one night in March, Wang went to the parking lot across from the community where Tsai lived, set his truck on fire, then, went to Tsai’s resident, and, set the sedan and motorcycle that Tsai parked by the side of the road on fire too, the fire almost burned to the residential areas, the firefighters were able to make it to both spots, to prevent further damages.

Later on, Cheng had installed surveillance cameras where he lived, and at around two in the morning on May 12th, he’d captured footage of how Wang rode her motorcycle to Cheng’s residence, she’d even gotten dressed up, with a big sombrero on, wearing rain boots, and, she’d managed, to wrap the headlights on her motorcycle up as well.

Wang broken Cheng’s car window, poured gasoline into the car, then, set the fire, but because the fire wasn’t big enough, she’d gone back, to set it ablaze one more time, and, the third time she’d lit it up, the fire got too out of control, she’d gotten burned herself.  Afterwards, Wang went to Tsai’s residence, set a motorcycle and his front doors on fire, the fire got to his living room, gladly, it was put out quickly, before anybody got hurt.

The police found that it was Wang, based off of the surveillance footage, made an arrest yesterday.

Tsai and Cheng refused to talk about their ex further, they’d both stated, “She doesn’t have any money, it’s no use to sue her anyway.”

Because this woman felt unjustly dumped, that, was why she’d taken revenge over her ex-boyfriends, and, maybe, she felt bad about herself, and just, projected her angers onto how the boyfriends had broken up with her, which was what caused her, to commit arson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bad Behaviors, Broken Promises, Cost of Living, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Love Became Revenge, News Stories, Obstacles in a Relationship

Can’t Do without Your Smiles

Gotten so very used to, seeing your bright smile, greeting me good morning, that I can’t do without them now.  Can’t do without your smiles now, they’d become, a part of my day to day living, as we’d gotten closer to each other by the day, I’m finding myself, getting more intoxicated, by your love lately.

Can’t do without your smiles now, because, seeing that bright smile from you, lets me know, that I’m doing something right!  Can’t do without your smiles now, they’re way too important, for me, to live without, I can’t imagine a day, without seeing your bright and shiny smiles, they’d, lightened up my day for me.

Can’t do without your smiles now, I just, can’t imagine a life without you in my life, you’re everything that’s good, that I’d want in life.  Can’t do without your smiles now, can’t imagine how it is, that I’d gotten along my life without you, compared to before you first flashed that smile at me, my life faded into gray, from before I met you, and, when you smiled at me, looked my way, my world, it lit up!

Can’t do without your smiles now, why are you taking the only thing that makes my existence meaningful away?  Do you not realize, how important you are to me?  How can you be so fucking cruel?  Don’t leave me, without your smiles, I will, die for sure…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Codependence, Messed Up Values, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Relationship

A Woman Wanted to Break Up, He’d Forced to Have a Threesome, Raped Her…Indicted

Yeah, call it a BAD breakup if you will, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Gang was displeased at how his young girlfriend from the high school years moved out of their love nest, was suspected of abetting a roommate, Yeou who had a crush on his girlfriend to take revenge on her, after they’d managed to get the teenage girl out, they’d beaten her up, stripped her, and tortured her, Yeou had backed away, Gang said to him, “Didn’t you dream of fucking my girlfriend for a long time?”, then, they’d had a three-way, and raped her, the D.A. indicted the two men based off of forced sexual acts.

The D.A.’s indictment pointed out, that Gang (age 19) and his roommate, Yeou (age 20) lived together, and, Gang’s girlfriend moved in with them, and was suspected to have disagreements on rent and money, and Yeou also had conflicts with Gang’s underage girlfriend too, the adolescent girl moved out, because she was angered.

Gang was displeased about it, on the noon hour of February 24th, he’d used the excuse of wanting to talk about breaking up with her, when the girlfriend returned to the rental place, he’d taken her cell phone, pulled out her SIM card, so she couldn’t’ call for help, then, Gang got violent toward his young girlfriend, strangled her neck, and beaten her.

Later on, Gang played the sick game of “Fast Answers”, no matter what the girl replied, he’d told her that she answered wrong, forced her to strip, threatened her, “After you’re completely nude, then, it’s SHOW TIME!”, when the victim begged hard without her clothes on, Gang and Yeou still forcibly pulled her into bed, and, acted out scenes from a porn movie with her.

And so, this, is why when you are breaking up, and your ex wanted to see you, it’s always SAFER, to have a friend to go with you, that way, this sort of SHIT won’t happen, and, this still just shows how you LOSERS treat women who don’t want you anymore.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Crime & Punishment, Criminals, Early Exposures, Innocence Lost, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Love Became Revenge, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Rapes, Social Awareness, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex

Should I Get a Divorce When My Husband Has an Affair?

Marital difficulties here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: L whose marriage is in the MUCK wrote…

Having known her husband for seven years, married for ten, has a daughter and a son, Mrs. L wrote several letters describing how her marriage is sinking: when L was pregnant with her firstborn, her husband became addicted to porn sites, and was about to head off to a motel with an unknown woman, and was stopped dead in his tracks by L.

In the seven years’ time, disregarding L’s words, her husband used the accuse of getting closer to god, became a spokesperson of god, to help others resolve the issues in their lives; and ever since, he’d given less and less time to his families, and, the two of them are slowly drifting apart.

Last November, she’d found out that her husband had an affair with a married female coworker, not only did her husband NOT admit to wrongdoing, instead, he’d blamed her, for not making him happy, causing him to need to find someone else, believed that it was, ALL L’s fault.

During this time, a lot had happened, L told the female coworker’s husband that she was cheating on him, the husband started becoming verbally abusive, and stated that he wanted a divorce; and, L felt, that her husband had become possessed, since he “became” closer to god.

And now what was phasing L was that the in-laws hoped, that they wouldn’t divorce, for the sakes of their young children; but her husband said, that after they’d split, they will each take a child, but, both children wanted to live with L.  Although she has work, however, she’d feared, that after the divorce, her husband won’t pay her alimony, she won’t be able to keep her kids in school, although the counselor had suggested that L gave the custody rights to her husband, but L didn’t want to, and, everything became stagnant.

A My Opinion

I don’t believe, that L really wants a divorce.  In her letter, she talked of how much the Valentine’s Day present her husband gave to her meant so much, that it wasn’t that he went out of his way to buy it, but it was a gift from the company he has business with, and, she is also hesitant, because of the issues of her children.

L can first, think about what’s LEFT in her marriage, half a dinner roll?  Or, just some, breadcrumbs?  Meaning that she needed to figure out, HOW much there is, left in the marriage, WORTH her working hard over?  And, if working hard can really make her marriage improve?  And, what are both of their attitudes?  And their shared beliefs?

Based off of what I’d read, L’s husband is someone who does as he pleases, and, when he’d done wrong, he’d wanted her apologies, and, that, was NOT his first affair either, and clearly, he’d shown, a LACK of self-control, with a total LACK of disrespect for the marriage.  But L must think thoroughly, is she was willing to give her husband another chance?  Or to get divorce, so she could have a brand new life?  If you continue to engage in the silent treatments, you’ll only end up, draining yourselves dry.

And so, for the sakes of her children, and the words of her in-laws, this woman was STUMPED on whether or not she should divorce the husband who cheated on her, and, apparently this woman CARED a LOT about the marriage, and yet, her husband’s behaviors had let her down, time, and time again, and, this, is clear to see, from an outsider’s angle, but, because this woman is involved in the play of things, that, was why she couldn’t see the truth, that, is why she felt troubled…

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Despair, Divorces, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Letting Go, Life, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Unrequited Love, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues