On how cruel the parents can be, without themselves, knowing it, abandoning US, their own FLESH-and-BLOOD! And yet, we still all, grew, UP…translated…
I still loved taking my children to the Children’s Amusement Park.
As my father was younger, he too, might have understood this also.
It was mildly cooler on that day, thinking back, I suppose that it was at the time when autumn is about to, head into, winter. The reasons for it, unknown, to me then. One day as I got up, my father and my mother discussed something in a quiet voice, then, he’d told me to come with him.
That was a day of school, as I recalled, so, why didn’t he bring my younger brother too?
I was staying quiet, and focused on staying quiet, uncurious, but, I was, secretly worrying, that my father was, taking me to sell me off to someone.
what the, amusement park ride looked like to this man when he was only a young boy…photo from online
The drive wasn’t a short one, I’d no longer recalled if I’d shared conversations with my father or not, and, even if I had, I’m sure, I’d only spoken, a few, words, back when my father was younger, he’d not known how to talk to his children.
And finally, we got off the freeway ramps, and it was surprising to me as he’d pulled into the parking lot, the colors of the rainbow came into sight, it was, the rambunctious, loud, Children’s Amusement Park.
Don’t know if anybody recalled the “Tien-Yuan Villa of Doliou”.
My father bought us the fares, and, stuffed a hundred or was it two hundred dollars in my hand (back then, that was, a whole lot of money), told me to go into the park to play, to get myself something to eat if I get hungry.
He’d told me, “before the park closes in the afternoon, I will come, and pick you up.”
And at that moment, I’d understood, that my father took me to get babysat at the Children’s Amusement Park on the day.
How grand was that, I tried hard, to hold back my grin, as my father looked, very serious then.
Shortly, my father sped off, and the old woman who was watching the gates close by, didn’t say a single word.
I’d entered into the park, recalled how I had a ton of, fun, gone on every single right, it was cool, the weather, but I’d, sweated a whole lot on the day.
When I suddenly felt hunger, it was past noon, I bought a corndog, had an orange soda, burped a few times, I felt more than, happy and, satisfied.
what childhood is like, for most of us…photo from online
I’d stuffed myself then, time for the Haunted House, I’d not dared entered since I got there in the early morn.
I saw a couple, who were, smiling very radiantly as I was standing in line, looked like they were, checking into a motel or something.
Thinking back, it was, quite, metaphorical, that a couple entered into a haunted mansion together.
They may get married in the future, and, maybe, they will become, someone’s parents, and, bumped into a ton of, scarier things than ghosts, and some of which will probably be too hard for them to handle, but, so long as they still shared the love, they will probably be able to, laugh, about it.
I’m scared of ghosts, and couldn’t even, open my eyes, and just, clung on to that older girl’s shirttail all the way, thankfully, she’d not found me a nuisance, she was like a mother, held me close, gently.
Don’t worry, it’s all, fake, she’d, told me.
Exiting the Haunted Mansion, I’d passed the couple by, don’t know why, I’d started, feeling, something weird.
I’d felt, very, alone, so suddenly.
Lost my sense of play then, just, sat on the benches, by the, trash can, watching the people go to and from, envied how they were laughing, and crying too.
As the evening came, I’d not noted that it had, until the song “Goodnight” by the singer came on, chasing the visitors, out. As the skies grew dark, everybody was then, exiting, I’d started worrying then, worried over time, and, I’d, waited and waited, and waited, until, there was, absolutely, NOBODY else around, then, I’d, stumped, outside.
The elderly woman who was watching the gates, smiled and saw me off, still, without a single, word.
I’d turned around for one last look, the amusement park was then, taken over by darkness, without the sounds of joys, or the, color, and I’d felt, that the amusement park is also, lonely, that what she wanted, wasn’t to say goodbye to me, but for me, to go in again, to be with her.
Maybe, the Children’s Amusement Park WAS, the loneliest place on earth, so, that’s why, people always go there, together.
I’d waited for my father outside, tired, and cold too, the skies was completely, darkened, to the color of the blood, red, the car drove off one by one, the crowds, left, to the point, that I could, no longer, see my own, self anymore.
As my father’s headlights showed, the skies had, lost color completely then, even the elderly woman who kept the gates had gone home already.
Ahhhhhh! Closed so soon! He’d gotten out, and, blurted out this, lie.
I’d, believed him.
At the time, I still had two younger brother, and could understand it, the every parent had a different mode of making their, marriage work, but, they were all like, the Children’s Amusement Park, bitter, lonely, and in pain on the inside.
Until I became all grown up, with children of my own, I’d still prayed, that every child, when they were taken to the Children’s Amusement Parks, they are, happy.
And so, this, is how we all, grew up, being, abandoned by our parents, physically, and/or, psychologically/emotionally, because, our parents are all, ill-fitted, unequipped, to “handle” their own young, US, and that, is how children lose their, innocence, in their, younger years, without them ever, realizing that they had already been, “stolen”…