Category Archives: Suppressed Memories

Some Moments, You Work, Really Hard, to Forget…

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t.  We all, have these moments, in our pasts, that we’d done something awful, hurt someone, when we never meant to.

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t, these are, the moments, that will, stay forever, IN your mind, haunt you, for life, and, there, is NO way you can, EVER, just, SHRUG it all off!

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just, can’t, like that night, that you should’ve gone STRAIGHT home, but instead, you’d, hit the bars, and got, picked up, by some LOSER, and, after a few drinks, the room, it started, swirling, turning, and, it all just, went BLACK…

Some moments, you work, really hard, to forget, but just can’t, those, are the moments, that imprinted themselves, onto your GUILTY conscience, and, your guilty conscience will, ALWAYS, keep these moments for you, even IF, you worked, your ASSES off, to block it all out.

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Life, Properties of Life, Suppressed Memories

Those Blurred Out Memories

There’s that file folder, or maybe, a file cabinet, maybe, with those, blurred out memories, that you’re still keeping for reasons, I wouldn’t know.  Those blurred out memories, why you keepin’ ‘em?  In hopes, that one day, they’ll all become cleared up, without the fogs surrounding them one day on their own?

Those blurred out memories, no use trying to remember their contents, they’re unimportant, that, was why you’re minds “deleted” those files, but just, hadn’t gotten around, to clean out the trash yet!  Those blurred out memories, what, do you think you’ll find, when you’d wiped the dusts away, when they’d become clear again?  Are you looking for forgiveness, to be delivered from them, the way that believing in god would deliver you away from your sins?

Those blurred out memories, let them stay blurred out, because, IF you wipe all those fogs away, what you find, maybe too shocking for you to accept, so, just leave it well enough alone now, you hear!

Those blurred out memories, what, do you hope, to achieve, by making them clear again?  And, are you, ready, to ACCEPT the consequences, of finding out what, exactly it is, that they entail?  Are you ready, to discover, what actually, lies beneath???

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Filed under Behavior Modifications, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Suppressed Memories

Memories of Pain from the Childhood Years Carried Over

Because during those childhood years, your brains are still, under development?  Which makes you that much MORE susceptible…

Memories of pain from the childhood years carried over, and spilled into your adulthoods, and, it’s like that oil rig that leaked in the Gulf, that managed, to trap all those water fowls?  A HUGE mess!

Memories of pain from the childhood years carried over, and, there’s NO way you can, rid of them all, even IF you’d managed to, block them out of your minds when you’re awake, who’s to say that they won’t come back, in the midnight hours, and disturb you, in your sweet dreams?

Memories of pain from the childhood years carried over, because in childhood, your brains are still developing, which means, that things can easily get imprinted, and, you’ll carry those scars for the rest of your lives.

Memories of pains from the childhood years carried over, there’s NO doubt, and, because you got NO clue, ‘cuz you didn’t want to know, what exactly happened to you as a kid, that, is why you’re still currently, rolling, in that god DAMN, snowballing VICIOUS cycle, and, you will, keep on rolling, rolling, rolling…………

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Filed under Abuse, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Innocence Lost, Loss, Observations, Suppressed Memories, Vicious Cycle

His Nights, Consumed by the Shadows

His nights, consumed by the shadows, and, he’d just, pull those way too not thick-enough covers over his head…

His nights, consumed by the shadows, and he has absolutely NO recollections, of WHEN those shadows started showing up in his nights, and now, they would, pay him visits, every single night, and, he just, couldn’t fend them off at all.

His nights, consumed by the shadows, it’d become, too grueling, for him to cope now, and, in order, to NOT let those shadows into his mind, he’d forced himself, to stay awake, ALL through the nights, and, during the daytime, because he couldn’t sleep at all at night, he’d become, lethargic, and, couldn’t do anything REPRODUCTIVE at all!

His nights, consumed by the shadows, there’s no way he’d found, that he could use, to effectively, chase all those nightmares away, after all, they (the nightmares) were all, sown down, into the field of his mind when he was real young………

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Cause & Effect, Childhood, Growing Up Too Fast, Life, Loss, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Suppressed Memories

Childhood, Hauting You

You don’t know why, but, you’d been, haunted by those childhood days from so very long ago…

Childhood, haunting you, because you’d NEGLECTED to pay enough attention to that damaged child that’s within you, and now, s/he is coming back, night, AFTER night, gnawing you, making you feel her/his (depending on your gender!!!) pains.

Childhood, haunting you, how, do you get rid of it?  You can’t, unless, you can find H.G. Wells, and have him build you that Time Machine, so you can go back, and change things, but, H.G. Wells is already DEAD!  Childhood, haunting you, how can this be, you’d wondered to yourselves, I’d left my childhood, so very long ago, and I’m already, an adult, so, how come, I’m still gnawed, by these painful sensations that I’m, just, remembering now???

Childhood will ALWAYS haunt you, as you were, just like me, ABUSE and NEGLECTED by those two PRIMARY attachment figures in your lives (hello, hello, hello???), and you still have NO way out, of that messed up state of mind you’re still currently, STUCK inside of!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Childhood, Cost of Living, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Suppressed Memories, Vicious Cycle

The Darkened Corners of My Childhood

There are those, darkened corners of my childhood, that I’d not dared to, venture into, alone, on my own, because of the monsters that were said, to live there…

The darkened corners of my childhood, where every single NIGHTMARE, NIGHT TERROR, along with all those suppressed memories of the past were kept locked up.  The darkened corners of my childhood, I was drawn in to them, I heard those corners, called out to me, in an enticing way, that I couldn’t keep away, just like those sailors couldn’t kept away from those dangerous rocks where the sirens sung on top of?

The darkened corners of my childhood, they will never, see the light, because they were hovered over, kept locked up, out of everybody’s knowledge and sight, but, I knew of their existence, I’d still hear them call out to me, from time to time, it’s just that I’d gotten better at, IGNORING those sharpened, painful screeches is all.

The darkened corners of my childhood, when, will they all get brought out to the broad daylight?  Never?  Someday?  One day?  I feel, those darkened corners of my childhood, yearning, wishing AND hoping, to get out, and I want to try to help shed some light, but, I don’t know where to begin………

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Filed under Being Exposed, Childhood, Early Exposures, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Suppressed Memories

When Your Childhood Became “Disabled”

And no, you still claim DISABILITY on that childhood of yours, once it’d become, DISABLED…

When your childhood became “disabled”, do you NOT recall when, or even HOW it happened?  Of course N-O-T, you’d worked, WAY too hard is the thing, to put those FUCKED days behind you, and, you ran, the first chance you got, away, from that place you were raised, that place, with the memories that haunted and hurt you like hell.

When your childhood became “disabled”, there’s NO way, to help it get rehabilitated, because it’s not like that twisted ankle, that broken wrist that will, eventually, heal back up, with the right kinds of medical treatment processes.

When your childhood became “disabled”, there’s NOTHING you can do, but to sit with it, as it weathers, through ALL the pains and sufferings that it’s due.  When your childhood became “disabled”, you may work, real hard, to get it to, function properly, but, you will NOT be able to, because, those days of your youths are, long, long, L-O-N-G gone, and, you have, absolutely NO way, to TURN back the hands of time, do you?  Nope, so, you’ll forever, LIVE, with a disabled childhood…

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Being Exposed, Childhood, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Loss, Self-Images, Socialization, Suppressed Memories