Category Archives: From a “Victim” to a “Survivor”

I am NOT Damaged…

Mind you!  I am NOT damaged here!  Just because someone forced himself onto me, and no, I still did NOT ask for it here, that doesn’t mean that I DESERVED it!

I am NOT damaged, it took me, a very long time, to finally know, it wasn’t, my fault, and took me even longer, to finally make my self accept what had happened to me.

I am NOT damaged, that’s the term, ascribed to the victims, and I’m still NO “vic”, I’d, survived already.  I am NOT damaged, you can see me as whatever the @#$% (maxed out!) you want to see me as, it don’t matter, ‘cuz I know HOW I came into “being”, I know what made me into who I am, and nothing can, replace that!

walking through the fires, and surviving it! Illustration from online

I am NOT damaged, so, don’t EVER, pity me, I got ZERO need for those shits, and if you want to pity someone, pity yourselves, for your lack of education, for your ignorance.

For not all of us, who’d, survived through these, serious SHITS in our separate lives, deserved any of your, pities, not all of us, enjoy playing that role of the vic, besides, got NO need for all that, unwanted attention in my life.

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Filed under From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Life, Loss, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

His Face

His face, a monster, that will, NEVER be, erased from my mind…

His face, that’s, haunted me since, and I don’t EVER see him anymore out there, on the streets anymore.

His face, that will, NEVER go away, etched, into my mind, branded onto, my heart, and, no laser surgical removal of this, permanent SCAR will EVER get it off of me.

His face, a face that’s obscene, that just, kept, gawking at me, at us, women, with the, HUGE breasts, with their, long legs in their, super short shorts…

His face, it will, NEVER go away, not for me, for I remembered, EVERYTHING that’s done to me, since I was very young still, and yet, I’d, erased him out of my mind, as a, person.

he used to come, every single night!

photo from online

His face, I no longer took a note of, he no longer, existed, in this, world I live in!  His face, smeared now, and I can’t, even, recall it, but if I focused my mind, I can, make it out, almost, I guess…

His face, the face of the man who’d, raped me, how can I, forget?  He’d, attacked me, every single night when I close my eyes, he’s, the very first thing I see, when I wake in the morn, he’s, everywhere I am, even though, he’d already been, dead (and no, I still did NOT, “murder” him either!), for…how many years had it been again???  Can’t remember, when the last time I saw him, lurking ‘round the corner of that street………

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Awareness, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Innocence Lost, Life, Properties of Life, Suppressed Memories, Vicious Cycle, White Picket Fence

The Predatory Instructors’ Power Rapes, Don’t Revictimize the Children Again

Predators, in instructors’ “skins” here…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The case of the homeroom instructor of a G.T. class in Taichung long-term using his status of power to rape his students, finally made progress on the second, the city’s gender equality commission decided to terminate the contract for hire of the instructor, Huang, to file him on the NEVER-HIRE list.  Ms. A in April filed the complaints against him, the Gender Equality Commissions stepped in to investigate, and they’d finally made progress on the second of this month, the city government of Taichung’s Department of Education decided to terminate Huang’s contract for hire, and placed him on the never-hire list.  Ms. A filed the complaints in April, and, up to now, the Gender Equality Commissions had been investigating since, the Humanitarian Foundation in August filed a formal complaint with the city government, and there were the members of the online community who’d been in the same class as the victim who’d banded together to speak up and out, and many of the YouTubers also started reblogging the post of the victim, that’s how this case gained widespread attention.

A long-term G.T. class instructor, plus the decades’ worth of interactions with the principles, and long-term instructing, there’s that power status to be considered, and, if a rape investigation was started, you can imagine the impacts, and the conflicts of interests.

Recently, the verdict of a major sexual harassment of the Greater San Francisco Bay School District being finalized.  The case was a middle school music instructor/band director who’d long-term sexually harassed two students, including sexting the then thirteen-year-old girl, and waiting until they were alone and then, molested her.  The two original plaintiffs of the case not just sued the instructor, but also the school district for improperly handling the matter, to not monitoring the behaviors of the instructor enough.

In 2017, the court sentenced the instructor to fifteen years in prison, at the start of the year the jury found that the school district needed to pay the two victims over $65 million U.S. and $375 million U.S.  The Courts clearly stated that the band’s outstanding performances were built up on the sexual assaults of the victims, that the school and the ISD had neglected the victims, that it’d not done its job supervising, that the instructor received the tenure and got voted as Teacher of the Year.

The matter of Ms. A and the instructor, Huang is only the tip of the iceberg. I believe, that even IF there were three victims of the sexual harassment or sexual assaults being discovered, then, there will be the students who’d believed that who they’d become currently, was due to the trainings of the instructor, Huang, and even if someone then knew about this, chances are, they’re not going to speak up about it.  So, summing it up, because of the victim, everybody escaped.

Due to the lacking of teaching about what’s appropriate and what’s not, the victims didn’t know they could say no, and, the schools aren’t safe for the victims to voice their pains, and, they can’t find the justice they deserved, or, it isn’t after many years later, did they start speaking up and out, then, the predatory instructor worked in education, unpunished, for many a year on end, and there were the innocent children who fell victim.

The city government has the responsibilities to expand their search, and to help the survivors of the rapes to demand responsibilities from the Department of Education.  Survivors like Ms. A had carried the pains for over decades’ of time, they deserve the help, and the assistance.  Most of us would hope, that the gender equality board not just get used to settle the public’s anger, but through the disclosures from the victims for the two days following, do something about it.  And don’t forget, the instructor’s outstanding performance was built on the victims’ assaults.  This society definitely needs to have more understanding of how power rapes, and how the victims of these power rapes, and teach the different ages of school children about what’s appropriate and what’s not based off of their level of understanding.  Instead of, letting everything become water under the bridge.  Do take heed, that: the bad guys won’t stop picking on the children, because they’re too young to understand what SEX is.

And so, because these teachers are covered by their outstanding teaching means, that’s why they think they can get away with RAPE, but now, we’d become, ever the more aware of these sorts of SHITS that are happening all over the places, and the victims are stepping up too, hopefully, with people more willing to stand up and out and becoming more outspoken about this matter, it can, reduce the number of children who are victimized.

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Filed under From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Improper Behaviors of an Adult, Improper Behaviors of School Instructors, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Observations, On the Wrong Side of the Law, Rapes, Sexual Assaults, Sexual Misconducts, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

There’d Been More than Ten Cases of Anti-Stalking Violations Since the First Month of It Being Implemented

Look at how quickly the cases start hiking up here, as the laws had been signed, meaning, that the victims are no longer, silenced, or scared, because now, the law can, protect them from being stalked!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Since the start of implementation of the anti-stalking law back in June, based off of statistics, the first month since the law had been in effect, there were a reported 394 cases, more than ten per day on average, of these, the communication harassments make up the most of the numbers.  The Modern Women’s Foundation told, that there’s a high prevalence of using the internet, digital tools to harass, and this is the hardest to stop and to prevent, based off of the cases the foundation had helped, ninety-percent of the perps are the victims’ current or previous lovers, a quarter of the victims had been stalked and/or harassed for over a year.

The Modern Women’s Foundation C.E.O. Wang stated, that the foundation had helped 101 individuals who’d been harassed, ninety of whom were females, with the times of harassment ranging from anywhere between a month to six months longest, and there were a quarter of the victims who’d been harassed for over a year; and ninety-five percent of the perps were males, of these, ninety-percent were the victims’ current or former lovers.

She said, the cases the foundation oversaw, the tools of stalking are “using digital tools to stalk and to harass”, at seventy-percent, of these, twenty-nine-percent were on sending the threats to the victims, stating that they will harm them or their loved ones.  Fourteen-percent using email, instant messaging, text, social media, to broadcast things that embarrassed the victims, and twelve-percent in using GPS to track the victims.

The researcher from the Modern Women’s Foundation, Wang analyzed, there were the commonalities of digital stalking, first, the continual stalking causing the victims to have a hard time stopping the stalking, even if the victims shut off accounts of contact, the perps would get more accounts to continue stalking; second, by virtual conversations that were made up, spreading the false events, the lies; third by online, the realities of the victims are tracked, surveilling the victim or the families, friends of; fourth, damaging the social network of the victims, or social circles of the victims, causing the victims to be isolated from the social interactions.

And so, this is very bad, how the online world can, help these stalkers to hurt the victims, and, there’s nothing that the victims can do, and, getting that physical restraining order still does SHIT, and, the ten plus cases per day since the start of the anti-stalking numbers are what’s been reported, and, there are, surely to be, more cases that are, still buried, unknown, unreported, because the victims are too scared I’m sure.

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The Complaints of Sexual Harassment Increased by 2.6 Time in Five Years

As the “victims” realized that they should NOT be, silenced, and the laws are now, protecting them more, no longer silenced we are!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Physical Harassments Make Up Fifty-One Percent, the Biggest, “Sending the Sexually Illicit Footages or Secretly Filming” Came in Second at Thirty-Four Percent

Based off of the statistical measures of sexual harassment, the cases are on the rise in the past five years, from the 662 cases back in 2017 to 1,712 cases last year, there’s a growth of 2.6 times, of them, seventy-five percent were valid claims, which showed, that the people no longer silenced when they get harassed, they are now, standing up, fighting for their own, rights.

The head of department, Chang in the Protection of Department of Health & Social Welfares stated, that ninety-six percent of the victims are females, sixty-percent were under age thirty, and the cases are mostly physical harassments, making up fifty-one-percent, then at twenty-six percent of “harassment by sexually illicit images or voyeurism”, “verbal harassments” made up fourteen-percent.

Chang told, because of how everybody has a cell phone now, and the guarantees of anonymity online, and the immediate and quickly passing of the internet, in recent five years, the sexual harassment by “sending pornographic footage of image’ rose up from sixteen percent to thirty-four percent; “stalking and improper pursuits” went from forty-percent to sixty-percent.

The supervisor of Fuller Chi Counseling Center, Chiu told, that the sexual harassment behaviors may not be notable, but they would cause trauma for the victims, and, women are more prone to show signs of trauma than men.  He’d once helped a female high school student, who was sexually harassed by a male adult family member when she was in the elementary years, she’d not recognized the signs, but as she’d taken the health classes in the high school level, she’d started showing signs of depression, and her academic performances declined, she’d become withdrawn in social interactions, and other symptoms.

The Gender Research Graduate Studies professor, Lo from World News University stated that in recent years, the cases of sexual harassments are on the rise, means that more and more victims are willing to stand up and out, it’s just, that there are the majority of cases still hidden in the dark.

The attorney, Kuo stated, that other than the objective facts, and physical evidences, whether or not sexual harassment cases stand up in court also relied on the personal experiences of the victims.  She’d reminded, to weight and measure the interactions with others, otherwise, if charged and convicted, the individuals will be paying the sums of anywhere from $10,000N.T.s to $100,000N.T.s.

And so, because the survivors of these crimes are now, becoming more and more aware of their own rights, and their own bodies, that’s why there are more and more cases that are, currently popping out left and right, and this is good, but it’s still not quite enough, to stop the bad behaviors of these, perps, because, there will always be those who can’t keep their hands to themselves, sex predators in the world, but at least, these survivors are beginning to speak up and out.

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See My Pains

See my pains!  But, how the, FUCK (so???) can you!

See my pains, you never had, and you never, will, and I’d become, more than, fine with that now.  See my pains, you never did, where the FUCK (so???) were you, when I got, SEXUALLY MOLESTED (and yes, that was, what that was, called, and add the “charges” of Munchausen by Proxy, learned THAT in Abnormal Child Psy, PSYC 4363 WAS, the “course number”!), where the FUCK were you, when I’d, RAPED all those, girl (most of them were in the “population”???) dolls that I had?

See my pains, you never did, and you still, don’t, only, only I’m, no longer, in pain (save for when I have my monthly SHITS here!!!), ‘cuz, I’d, resolved, EVERYTHING already, and, nothing can ever, get to me, again.

See my pains, you never will, and you still, don’t acknowledge my sufferings growing up, but hey, who the FUCK needs your, validations again?  I sure as hell don’t!  See my pains, oh wait, you can’t, and you never will, and I’d, stopped, trying to, make you.

And now, I shall, sit here, on the sidelines (not playing these games no more!!!), and watch, as your worlds, CRASH down and you will end up, BURYING your own, precious children, and when you look sorrowful, helplessly at me, guess what I will say to you?

Oh, yeah, I’m absent, from all of this shit, I’d, checked out!

And there’s, NOTHING you can do, to MAKE me feel a thing about anything again, as in, E-V-E-R and that, is that!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Burying One's Own Child, Cost of Living, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Innocence Lost, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma

Kao: When We First Started Dating, He’d Made Me Get Down on My Knees & Begged

The signs of trapped in an abusive relationship that she ignored at first!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

She Was Threatened to Have a Funeral for Her by Her Own Boyfriend, Otherwise, He’ll Use the Net Armies Against Her, Grateful for Her Ex Who’d Stepped Up to Fend for Her

The legislator, Kao told, that after just two, three months she’d started dating Lin, she’d found, that he would lose his temper too easily, that he’d threatened her, forced her to get down on her knees, and would secretly film her, tape-recorded her too, threatened that she’d better stay the whole time through his own mother’s funeral, or he’ll get the net armies after her, to spread the rumors, that when he was upset, he’d barred her from her itinerary, stopped her from going out, and questioned her; she’d told, that Lin claimed that he was medicated with antipsychotic, that the law can’t do anything about him.

Kao told, that as she went up for a seat in the legislation, Lin came to her, offered her advice, and after they were in close conversation for over six months, they started dating.  Lin told, that he knew a lot of professionals in the political, academia, and business fields, but, she’d rarely come into contact with the businesses, didn’t check the facts.  Lin claimed that he knew a lot of the newer political realms, and there were photos of him with the famed from his FB, with the messages left by the members of the academia, arts and performance realms, he seemed to be well connected, and, a lot of women may have been fooled by him using this, “he’d hurt too many, lied too many times, his world is, constructed with the lies”.

After that first time Lin beat her, he told, “This was the first time I’d ever, beaten a woman”, that he’d not known why he’d behaved  like so, that he’d just lost his mother, and had been on medication from the psychiatric department, didn’t know what took over him, apologized repeatedly, “Thankfully the heavens helped me out there, otherwise, I don’t know how much of this life will I be, putting up, with.”

“My ex, Ma was taken too, he’d helped me by stepping up to protect me,” Kao told, that after her ex learned of how she got beaten up, he couldn’t accept it, and, demanded that he deleted the photos, the sex tapes immediately, Lin told that he was only, leading the trends, and, gone to her mother’s funeral to make a scene.  She said, that as a councilwoman, legislator, Ma was her constant advisor, that he was really nice to her, but as she’d broken up with him, and found her a new boyfriend like Lin, “Or maybe, I was, too covered up in my relationship with Ma, that I’d not known, the sorts of evils that are, in this, world.”

On the press conference, Kao cried and described the process of her being abused, the DDP legislator, Wang came to give her a hug and encouragements, a lot of abused women, for the sakes of their young, their families, just, held it all in, that there’s a need for the battered to voice out loud, to put an end to this sort of a bad behavior; the DDP legislator He handed her a bouquet of pink roses, told that when he saw the footages of Kao’s being abused, he’d started, tearing up, that he needed to be there, to offer her some encouragements.  The legislator, Wang from Times Power called out to Kao, “You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t blame yourself!”, and called out to the public, to not be overly critical of the victims of abuse.

The legislator of the Popular Party, Tsai told, that last week, Kao bear hugged her, then, without a word, just, walked, away, “Thinking to it, she’s, really strong, and it’d, ached my heart seeing her like that.”, called out to every victim who is living under the shadows of domestic violence, “For those who love you, treat yourselves well, to NOT fear, to STEP up, to say NO to the abusers!”

And so, this, is how much support this abused legislator is getting, and the signs were already there, as they first begun dating, and, these are, the tell signs that this woman, chose to ignore, which was exactly how she’d, ended up where she currently is right now, and, it’s NEVER right, to use violence on anyone, man, or woman, and this should NOT be, encouraged, and this woman finally, stepped out, and told her stories, in hopes, to prevent the future cases of domestic violence.

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The Predator Raped & Molested His Friend’s Young Daughter Over Thousands of Times in the Span of a Decade, Got a Severe Sentence

The long-term, sexual abuse of this young child, into, her teenage, years, and, this is called, justice???  Yeah right, get REAL!!!  But hey, the judge had, spoken, and case is, closed!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

She was Not Yet Five When Her Mother’s Boyfriend Was Asked to Help Take Care of Her, Although the Settlement Agreement Was, Reached, but the Man Didn’t Get His Sentence Reduced, Due to the Maliciousness to Which He’d, Raped Her

Yo, in 2008, was asked by his friend to help watch his three-year-old daughter, but, before the young girl turned five, Yo started raping, molesting her, for around ten whole years, until the victim could no longer take it anymore, and told a volunteer counselor about it.  The Yilan District Court found Yo guilty of forced sexual behaviors of a child of under age fourteen 608 times, molestation for four hundred times, a total of thirteen-years, ten months; and, for the sixty-two times of sexual molestations of the child, a year an eight months, and he could pay the charges and not serve the time for this.

Yo is currently sixty-six years ago, and even though he’d, admitted to what he’d done, and settled with the teenager, the teenager’s father forgave him, and begged the courts for mercy for Yo, but the judge believed that the crimes Yo committed was serious, and not given him a lighter sentence.

the molestation of a young child…

查看來源圖片
photo from online

The verdict pointed out, that Yo, being the victim’s grandfather’s friend, the victim’s parents were divorced when she was young, her father wasn’t doing well in his ventures, in 2008, he’d, handed her and her older brother to be cared for by Yo, back then she was only three years old.

Yo was suspected of raping the young girl from August of 2010 to mid-October in 2012, in the frequencies of once every two days, a total of 404 rapes on her during the time; from 2012 to 2017, he’d, raped her in her bedroom, in his residence, a total of 204 times.

From September of 2017 to October of 2019, he’d patted her breasts, patted her pubic areas, molested her, for about four times a week, a total of, four hundred times counted; from when the adolescent turned fourteen, he’d raped and molested her another, sixty-two times to the start of June in 2020.  In the end, the girl couldn’t put up with it, and finally, told her social worker whom she was getting counseled for long-term, and that was when the whole thing busted, wide open.

The courts found Yo guilty on 406 charges of forced sexual acts of a minor younger than fourteen years, and, sentenced him to seven years two months; the charges of having sexual intercourse with a minor of under age fourteen, a total of 202 counts, seven months each, that he is to serve a total of thirteen years, ten months for.

And, the molestations charges of a minor between ages fourteen to sixteen, sixty-two counts, with three months sentence on each count, a total of a year eight months in prison, which he could pay the fees, and not serve the time.

And yeah, how’s this, enough, for punishment?  I mean, imagine it is you, who got FUCKED (don’t pardon me here!) by this “friend” of the family, someone you trusted, because your parents entrusted you to him, and what of the emotional sufferings, the psychological problems this young woman will develop (and she will in her future!) for what she was put through, by this, SEX predator that wore the false fronts of a “family friend”, huh?  How’s this punishment, SEVERE enough?  It’s nowhere NEAR, enough!

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The Gymnastic Trainers’ Raping of the Competitors He’d Trained, Mostly Never Got Charged Because the Victims Waited Past the Statutory Period Expired

Imagine, how long the victims of this sort of SEXUAL abuse must’ve, suffered, and, the sentence is still, way too, lenient!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

For the Sake of Performance & Dreams, the Four Victims Put up with the Sexual Abuse of Their Coach for More than a Decade, and Only Two Counts Stood Up in Court, the Coach Sentenced to Six Years Ten Months

The gold medalist gymnastics coach used his power status, and sexually molested, raped the young gymnastics competitors with the dreams, more than a decade later, the victims finally worked up the courage to tell, and the case went out into the open, started up the “Me Too movement here in Taiwan; the district attorneys charged the coach with forced sexual intercourse, molestations, the Kaohsiung District Court changed the indictment clause “using status of power to rape”, and most of the counts had surpassed the decade statutory period, and in the end, Liang was only charged with one count of forced sexual intercourse, one count of forced sexual molestation, and given a combined sentence of six years ten months.  This can still be appealed.

The case had busted wide open in February of 2018, a victim found strength through the “#MeToo” movement from the U.S., posted anonymously on FB: “I wanted to soar, but the coach who should’ve given me the wings, broke my wings, and gymnastic became the most loved, and most hated sports to me”.  The investigators looked into the matter, and found at least seven victims, four of whom pressed charges, they all started training under Liang from the elementary to the high school years, four of whom, were trained by Liang since the elementary years, two excelled in gymnastics, and they were the ones who were hurt the deepest too.

One of the victims testified, that to train, she’d stayed at Liang’s home with another female student, but Liang had used the performances in the competitions to force her to have sex with him, and at first she’d told him no, in the end, she just, wanted it to be over soon; and Liang’s rape of his students was caught by another female student who bore witness to him, raping another student, which shocked her to realize, that she “wasn’t his only victim”, but for the sake of their grades, and performances, the two girls put up with his sexual abuse for more than a decade.

There were two more victims who’d come out with the accusations, one stated that Liang used her hydrotherapy sessions to pat her breasts down; another accused him to raping her at a motel, disregarding how she’d told him no; the D.A. believed that Liang was responsible for at least eleven different rapes and sexual molestation charges, indicted him based off of forced sexual behaviors and molestations and other charges.

The Collectivist Courts believed, that Liang used his status of power to threaten the female students, and changed the indictment counts to “power rape”, and the statutory period for power rapes is only a decade, and the victims accused him of it from 2000, that by the time the cases were reported had been way past the period of statute of limitation, in the end, the courts found, that the second victim bore witness to the second rape, sentenced Liang to only SIX years, with the rest of the charges not stood up in court or not guilty.

The victims who came out later, the Collectivist Courts believed, that she had her mother as her witness to testify, and that the counts stood, sentenced Liang to a year for it, the other victim suffered from posttraumatic stress disorder, but based off of the time of diagnosis, it’s hard to affirm that it was related to Liang, with the lack of evidence, Liang didn’t get charged for it.

And so, this is a LOSER, who used his power status (of a gymnastic coach?), to RAPE his female students, and, this shit had happened long, long ago, in the nineties back in the U.S., and, the victims still didn’t stand up and band together until they’re, adults, and this, is a case of how losers can take advantage of their statuses as coaches to rape their own students.

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Raped, by the Silences…

We are raped, by the silences, because, we’re, afraid to tell anybody what had, happened to us, because, if we tell our truths, the outside world will only, ostracize us more, saying, that it’s our fault, that we shouldn’t have, behaved too provocatively in front of that man, that we were, just, asking for it, therefore, we’d, kept our silences.

what we were…picture found online…查看來源圖片

Raped, by the silences, we were, because, we’re, too afraid to talk, too afraid for our lives, as well as the lives of, those we loved and cared about, and, can’t even begin to imagine the shame they will feel, if our stories, busted out into the open!

Raped, by the silences, there’s, no way this will, ever come to an end, because, those predators are still, lurking, waiting, for their chances to, attack, and even though, we only come out, during the daytime, sometimes, it feels, like nights…

Raped, by the silences, we were, we were all, victims before, but, I’d, managed to, turn myself, into a god DAMN survivor here, I will, NEVER be quieted, be silenced again!!! what we are now…

what we have the potentials of becoming…picture found online

Raped, by the silences, there’s, nothing we can do, to change the past, change what’s already been done to us (and no, we NEVER enjoyed it!!!).  Raped, by the silences, no we don’t, keep our lips sealed, because what was shameful, wasn’t US, it was, what was, done to us!

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