Category Archives: Divorces

An Elderly Man Who Married More than Once After He’d Had a Stroke, He’d Finally Realized, that His First Wife Loved Him Better

Here we still have, a LOSER who wanted what he’d thrown away back again, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

An elderly man, Cheng, from back in 1957, married his wife, Liao, and, back in 1999, he’d filed for divorce in California behind his wife’s back, and married a new wife with an American citizenship, Kuo; a little over four years ago, he’d come back to Taiwan, and had a stroke, Cheng was angered at how Kuo had abandoned him, left Taiwan when he was under critical condition, took his savings too.  And Liao, his first wife filed for the suit to establish that her marriage with him was still valid, because back then, she didn’t receive the divorce papers from the courts, she’d won, Kuo was displeased at how she’d become the “spare”, sued for the invalidations of her husband’s last marriage, but her claims were tossed back.

The District Court in Shihlin pointed out, that back when Kuo married, she probably didn’t know that her husband had committed bigamy, but, because she failed to provide the documentations of the deliveries of the divorce settlement papers to Liao, the first wife, that, was why she’d lost the claims.

After Cheng the elderly man married, Liao, he’d moved to the U.S., later on, because his wife needed to look after their daughter’s child, she’d moved to L.A. with her daughter.  In 2011, when Liao came back to Taiwan, to get an reissuance of her national identification card, she’d found, that there was a blank on the column of “spouse”, she’d asked her attorney in the States to find out what had happened, that, was when she found out, that she’d been “divorced”.

Liao said, that back in 1999, when her husband asked the courts in L.A. for divorce, he’d lied that she lives in San Francisco, causing her to miss her court date, and the divorce was finalized, because she failed to show up in court.  She said, that she didn’t know that her husband was having an affair with Kuo at all.

Kuo however, told, that back in 1999, when she’d married Cheng in the U.S., after they’d returned to Taiwan, they’d registered for marriage here too, but in 2010 when her husband had a stroke, the daughter from his first marriage prevented her from seeing him, and so, she could only file for separation from him.  Last year, she’d found out from a mutual friend, that the first wife had filed a case to the courts, to annul her marriage to her husband, that, was when she’d learned, that her husband and his ex-wife was still married, legally.

Cheng the elderly man complained of how his new wife left Taiwan, after the hospitals issued a last notice on him, and how she’d managed, to drain out his bank accounts in the U.S., then, vanished, that she’d abandoned him out of malice.  Cheng had also pointed out, that the person who’d signed for the receipts of the legal papers was different from his first wife’s handwriting, that it wasn’t signed for by his first wife.

The courts decided, that Cheng had filed for divorce with his first wife in California, and after the courts settled the matters, he’d married Kuo, but the divorce suit was found invalid by Taiwanese law, and so, the elderly man committed bigamy.

This, is still BAD karma, if you ask me, and, now this elderly had a stroke, and was abandoned by his second wife, he’d realized how wonderful his first wife, whom he’d divorced instantly after he’d found another lover, was the one who’d been kind to him all along, and now, he’s paying for HIS mistake for divorcing his ex-wife, and, he’s getting EXACTLY what he deserved here!

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Cost of Living, Divorces, Karma, Life, Loss, Observations, Properties of Life

How, Can I Go, JUST What You Were Counting On…

Get ready, to get, SUCK into that GOD damn VICIOUS cycle of her/his abuse again, and note: this, is a mind game…

How can I go, JUST what you were counting on, although I’d threatened to leave you, I could never quite, leave you, because you needed me so, and, without knowing, I’m actually, enabling this ABUSE you’d given me too.

How, can I go, JUST what you were counting on, I’d left you, time and time, and time again, and yet, each and every single time, I’d always come, right back to you, and, each and every time I’d set my mind up to go, I was so resolute on leaving you, and yet, for some UNKNOWN reasons, I’d always get drawn BACK to you, why IS that?  I’m really getting tired of living this way now!

How, can I go, JUST what you were counting on, you KNEW damn well, that I couldn’t leave you behind for good, because I’m still emotionally hung up on you, on this so-called love (which wasn’t even love at A-L-L!!!) that you’d given to me.  How, can I just go, JUST what you were counting on, well, you’d made that MISCALCULATION for the very LAST and FINAL time, because without that Dear John (and yeah, still know DAMN well, that you’re NOT “John”!), I’d left you, for good!

How, can I go, JUST what you were counting on, well, that, would be a BAD miscalculation of your part, your WORST mistake, thought that I’d never leave, well, I’d left, and, there’s NO way you’ll EVER be able to TRACK me down………

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Divorces, Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Vicious Cycle

Should I Get a Divorce When My Husband Has an Affair?

Marital difficulties here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: L whose marriage is in the MUCK wrote…

Having known her husband for seven years, married for ten, has a daughter and a son, Mrs. L wrote several letters describing how her marriage is sinking: when L was pregnant with her firstborn, her husband became addicted to porn sites, and was about to head off to a motel with an unknown woman, and was stopped dead in his tracks by L.

In the seven years’ time, disregarding L’s words, her husband used the accuse of getting closer to god, became a spokesperson of god, to help others resolve the issues in their lives; and ever since, he’d given less and less time to his families, and, the two of them are slowly drifting apart.

Last November, she’d found out that her husband had an affair with a married female coworker, not only did her husband NOT admit to wrongdoing, instead, he’d blamed her, for not making him happy, causing him to need to find someone else, believed that it was, ALL L’s fault.

During this time, a lot had happened, L told the female coworker’s husband that she was cheating on him, the husband started becoming verbally abusive, and stated that he wanted a divorce; and, L felt, that her husband had become possessed, since he “became” closer to god.

And now what was phasing L was that the in-laws hoped, that they wouldn’t divorce, for the sakes of their young children; but her husband said, that after they’d split, they will each take a child, but, both children wanted to live with L.  Although she has work, however, she’d feared, that after the divorce, her husband won’t pay her alimony, she won’t be able to keep her kids in school, although the counselor had suggested that L gave the custody rights to her husband, but L didn’t want to, and, everything became stagnant.

A My Opinion

I don’t believe, that L really wants a divorce.  In her letter, she talked of how much the Valentine’s Day present her husband gave to her meant so much, that it wasn’t that he went out of his way to buy it, but it was a gift from the company he has business with, and, she is also hesitant, because of the issues of her children.

L can first, think about what’s LEFT in her marriage, half a dinner roll?  Or, just some, breadcrumbs?  Meaning that she needed to figure out, HOW much there is, left in the marriage, WORTH her working hard over?  And, if working hard can really make her marriage improve?  And, what are both of their attitudes?  And their shared beliefs?

Based off of what I’d read, L’s husband is someone who does as he pleases, and, when he’d done wrong, he’d wanted her apologies, and, that, was NOT his first affair either, and clearly, he’d shown, a LACK of self-control, with a total LACK of disrespect for the marriage.  But L must think thoroughly, is she was willing to give her husband another chance?  Or to get divorce, so she could have a brand new life?  If you continue to engage in the silent treatments, you’ll only end up, draining yourselves dry.

And so, for the sakes of her children, and the words of her in-laws, this woman was STUMPED on whether or not she should divorce the husband who cheated on her, and, apparently this woman CARED a LOT about the marriage, and yet, her husband’s behaviors had let her down, time, and time again, and, this, is clear to see, from an outsider’s angle, but, because this woman is involved in the play of things, that, was why she couldn’t see the truth, that, is why she felt troubled…

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Infidelities, Most Likely to Happen, Three Years After the Marriage

From research statistics, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Shu-De Technical University Human Sexuality Department manager, Yen-Ching Lin said, that modern day women are financially independent, have a strong sense of themselves, and, once the quality of their marriage drops, they have a higher chance of having affairs; the Graduate Research Department in its 2010 survey of 400 married women in southern Taiwan, the rate of infidelity was 36.5 percent.  Lin believed, that the statistics for the married women in the central and northern parts would be roughly the same as well.

This study showed, that the partners of the affairs who were friends made up about 44.3 percent, the highest, followed by coworkers, friends from online, exes, and, the time when the affairs are most likely to start would be three years after the marriage.

And on top of that, the results of a survey by the Sexology Research Department before Valentine’s Day showed, that the rate of modern day female college students who had already had sex makes up about 43.5 percent, compared to the 27.3 percent from seventeen years ago, there is a clear increase, the primary reason for this being how open the societies had become.  Lin said, that from the researches conducted abroad, the women who had had sex prior to marriage are more than likely to have extramarital affairs after they are married, and, modern day women are expecting higher quality from their marriages, compared to the last generations, and so, they are bound, by the cultures, to stay in a marriage, so, they’re more than likely to find an exit for their own emotions.

On the males’ front, although the sexology department didn’t conduct such researches, however, on a survey over the subjects of one-night-stands, twenty-five percent of surveyed males are accepting to the idea, thirty-three percent of the subjects HAD experiences with one night stands, and men who wanted to try out one night stands, make up sixty percent.

Lin suggested that couples need to work hard, in making their relationships work, just spend more time with one another, showing cares and concerns for each other often, it shouldn’t be that difficult, to keep happy in the marriage.

So, there you have it, from the lips of the researcher, and, this still just shows, how as we advanced in every single way, our behaviors are falling backwards, and, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you would do it, where’s the moral restraints???

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The Complete Single Day, Life as a Single Parent

Translated…

I’d been a single mother for five years, my son went with his father, and I have custody over my daughter.  After I’d had several honest to heart conversations with both our parents, as well as my children’s father, my ex-husband finally agreed, mid last year, that the older brother and younger sister could have four days out of the month to spend together.  And so, the very last weekend of the month, my daughter would head over to her father’s, and, these two days became my “single days”.

I’d gotten used to life with my daughter by my side, and, suddenly, from Friday evenings to Sunday evenings, I no longer had her company, her voice no longer resonated through the house, the bed became so spacious, it was, really hard, for me to adapt, I’d missed her so.  In order, to keep myself from missing her too much, I’d headed over to the office on Saturdays to work, buried myself in work; and on Sundays, I’d slept in, and take my leisure breakfasts, then, headed out, to ride, to hike, or to meet up with my friends.  And, all of a sudden, it came time, to pick my daughter up again.

During the two days my daughter was away, it was like an early onset of my empty nest, at first, I had troubles, filling up this void, but now, I’d gotten used to it.  And, life is just like so, when there came varied situations, we must all, make adjustments, to work, to transfer our attention elsewhere.

Recently I’d read the activities of the volunteers on the United Daily News, I’m going to sign up as a volunteer too.  I believe, that when my empty nest comes, or when I’m about to retire, I can already live this life I’d already planned out well.

So, your daughter going to spend the weekend with her father became your trial-run for your own empty nest, and, it is important, to have multiple hobbies, established, WAY before you’re retiring, or your empty nests really actually HIT you, because if you’d waited until then, to start planning it, well, it’ll be, too late then.

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A Friendly Divorce

How’s that even possible???  Is it, like how when you say, “It’s over, but hey, let’s stay friends, for the kids’ sakes”?

A friendly divorce, I MY opinion, because this, is still, MY joint!!!, is nonexistent, I mean, how can you get divorced with someone whom you’d shared a lifetime with, and still be friends?  You can’t, there’s BOUND to be hard feelings, you DO realize that, don’t you?

A friendly divorce, it sounds to me, that whoever came up with this idea is looking for find a free FUCK every now and then, by staying friendly with her/his ex.  A friendly divorce, you CANNOT have it, because, there are always, HARD feelings when divorces happen, and, don’t give me that excuse of “irreconcilable differences”, because we ALL know, that that is just BULLSHIT!

A friendly divorce, you WISH, because no matter how amicably you two had parted, something MUST’VE happened, to send the two of you, spinning toward the Big D (not talkin’ ‘bout DALLAS here still!!!), so, a friendly divorce just, doesn’t exist, and, whoever comes UP with that should just, get her/his head examined…

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The Problem of a Spare for a “Perfect & Happily Married” Couple

In need of marriage counseling here, a Q&A, translated…

Madam L wrote:

She’d been married for twenty-five years, with two sons, she thought that her marriage was perfect, but a decade ago, she felt harassed by a woman’s calls, she’d looked into the matter, and found that she was one of her husband’s female coworker who wasn’t married, the two of them struck up an office affair, but the husband denied it.  This mess continued on for a while, until the other woman got married, then, it’d become settled down.

Six years ago, her husband was diagnosed with cancer, almost died, L took care of him, worked hard, ran around for her husband’s sake.  After the husband was better, he was extremely grateful toward L, and told her that she was his one and only love, and will hold hands with her until the very end.

Without knowing, that awhile ago, she’d found messages texted to and from him and his former lover.  Although L felt hurt, she didn’t blow his covers, just hinted that she knew he was seeing someone on the side, but the husband immediately denied it, said that there’s NO problem with a spare with him.

L said that she and her husband got along quite well, rarely argued, she couldn’t understand why her husband was doing this to her.  L wanted to write to the other woman, tell her, that the affair is known now; also, she’d thought of getting her husband’s eldest sister to help console with him on the matter, but, she didn’t dare make the moves.  Should she keep pretending everything’s okay, or bust the whole thing wide open?  The other woman may have intents to harm her, she wanted to keep guard of her home, and she didn’t know what to do.

A My Advice:

L kept believing, that she has a picture-perfect marriage, and thinks that her husband has great characters, took care of the home, and loved their kids, it’s just that he’s too easily tempted.  And L never thought about getting a divorce, she just wanted to keep her household intact.

L’s husband is pretty mild in temper, but, without the stamina, because L’s putting up with him, and her unwillingness to admit, that he’s cheating on her, so, he’d just keep on, denying his affairs to her.  If L don’t want to go towards divorce, then, stop making trouble for herself, and check her husband’s cell phone.  Whether it be writing that anonymous letter to the spare, or having her husband’s eldest sister to work as the middleman in her confrontations with her husband’s whore, it may break the husband’s bottom line.

I feel, that whether this affair goes BUST would be relying on when the husband of the spare finds out, then, the problems will then, be dealt with, so, L, you’re on your own!

This, is totally taking an EXTREMELY PASSIVE perspective to handling one’s husband’s affair, and, this woman is just too afraid to take action, that, was why this is the way the story is going.

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