Category Archives: Relationship

Can’t Do without Your Smiles

Gotten so very used to, seeing your bright smile, greeting me good morning, that I can’t do without them now.  Can’t do without your smiles now, they’d become, a part of my day to day living, as we’d gotten closer to each other by the day, I’m finding myself, getting more intoxicated, by your love lately.

Can’t do without your smiles now, because, seeing that bright smile from you, lets me know, that I’m doing something right!  Can’t do without your smiles now, they’re way too important, for me, to live without, I can’t imagine a day, without seeing your bright and shiny smiles, they’d, lightened up my day for me.

Can’t do without your smiles now, I just, can’t imagine a life without you in my life, you’re everything that’s good, that I’d want in life.  Can’t do without your smiles now, can’t imagine how it is, that I’d gotten along my life without you, compared to before you first flashed that smile at me, my life faded into gray, from before I met you, and, when you smiled at me, looked my way, my world, it lit up!

Can’t do without your smiles now, why are you taking the only thing that makes my existence meaningful away?  Do you not realize, how important you are to me?  How can you be so fucking cruel?  Don’t leave me, without your smiles, I will, die for sure…

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Codependence, Messed Up Values, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Relationship

Infidelities, Most Likely to Happen, Three Years After the Marriage

From research statistics, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Shu-De Technical University Human Sexuality Department manager, Yen-Ching Lin said, that modern day women are financially independent, have a strong sense of themselves, and, once the quality of their marriage drops, they have a higher chance of having affairs; the Graduate Research Department in its 2010 survey of 400 married women in southern Taiwan, the rate of infidelity was 36.5 percent.  Lin believed, that the statistics for the married women in the central and northern parts would be roughly the same as well.

This study showed, that the partners of the affairs who were friends made up about 44.3 percent, the highest, followed by coworkers, friends from online, exes, and, the time when the affairs are most likely to start would be three years after the marriage.

And on top of that, the results of a survey by the Sexology Research Department before Valentine’s Day showed, that the rate of modern day female college students who had already had sex makes up about 43.5 percent, compared to the 27.3 percent from seventeen years ago, there is a clear increase, the primary reason for this being how open the societies had become.  Lin said, that from the researches conducted abroad, the women who had had sex prior to marriage are more than likely to have extramarital affairs after they are married, and, modern day women are expecting higher quality from their marriages, compared to the last generations, and so, they are bound, by the cultures, to stay in a marriage, so, they’re more than likely to find an exit for their own emotions.

On the males’ front, although the sexology department didn’t conduct such researches, however, on a survey over the subjects of one-night-stands, twenty-five percent of surveyed males are accepting to the idea, thirty-three percent of the subjects HAD experiences with one night stands, and men who wanted to try out one night stands, make up sixty percent.

Lin suggested that couples need to work hard, in making their relationships work, just spend more time with one another, showing cares and concerns for each other often, it shouldn’t be that difficult, to keep happy in the marriage.

So, there you have it, from the lips of the researcher, and, this still just shows, how as we advanced in every single way, our behaviors are falling backwards, and, just because you can, doesn’t mean that you would do it, where’s the moral restraints???

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Bad Examples Parents Set for Children, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Divorce Rates, Divorces, Downward Spiral, Extramarital Affairs, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, My Thoughts on Various Issues, News Stories, Perspectives, Relationship, Social Issues, Socialization, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

The First Wife and His Fourth Spare Worked Together, and Divorced the Cheating Husband

Women gained up on a man here, from the Front Page Sections, translated….

Chang said, that his wife disregarded how dirty and covered with mud he was as he set foot into the house, and accused him for having an affair, and, because he was pressed, he’d told her that he’d had sex without a condom, just to piss her off, that his wife couldn’t accuse him of having an affair, having the recordings of what he’d said out of anger; plus, Chinese was not his mother tongue, sometimes, he couldn’t mean what he says.  But Jeng, his FOURTH spare came to court and told, that four years ago, she’d met Chang in a night club, after they’d started seeing each other for a month, he’d proposed to her, Chang said, that he loved her so, and would falsify a marriage with her, to stay in Taiwan, she loved him deeply, and had sex with him, it wasn’t until she’d gotten a call from his wife, did she realize, that he was already married for ten years, and had children.

It’s either that this woman is way too STUPID, or that this man, is truly, an EXCELLENT LIAR, but, either way, this cheating BASTARD still got caught, with his pants, DOWN to his ankles, and now, the wife is working with his FOURTH spare (I wonder what would the three OTHER spares say about that!!!), to SUE him, suits him right!

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Bad Behaviors, Broken Promises, Choices, Commiting Adultery, Cost of Living, Crime & Punishment, Excuses, Interpersonal Relations, Issues of Morality, Issues on Gender, Life, Love Became Revenge, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Relationship, Social Awareness, Socialization, White Picket Fence

A Daughter Who Shows Gratitude

The ins & outs of life, translated…

“Mommy, can we give a few bags of meatballs and sausage made by dad to Aunt Wen-Jen this year?”

Hearing these words from my daughter, I couldn’t help, but smile on the inside, fi Wen-Jen had heard these words, she must feel very comforted, that she didn’t love my daughter for nothing.

When my daughter was in her second year of kindergarten, because both my husband and my visa to the U.S. were about to expire (back then, we needed to renew our visas every five years), we’d decided to go to Hawaii one more time.  But, we couldn’t get our daughter’s visa yet, and, getting one would not be matched to our time of departure, plus, the flight was over ten hours, she probably couldn’t withstand it.  When I was worried about it, my coworker, Wen-Jen “jumped out” to help me out.  After I’d taken my daughter to meet her once, my daughter had actually agreed, to go to her place while we went on our second honeymoon.

And now, five years had come to pass, my daughter still remembered the caring ways that Wen-Jen took care of her back then, and, when we’d taken her out to travel, she’d commented from time to time, “Aunt Wen-Jen and Uncle Xiang-Xiang had brought me here before.”

And, she’d told me of how she misses the big brother and big sister at Aunt Wen-Jen’s house, that it was, the best memories of her childhood years.

And now, as my daughter found chances to come to the school I worked, she’d always managed, to find Wen-Jen who’s working in the office, and, Wen-Jen is truly, a “Master of All Children”, she’d taken our child’s heart.  Being very handy, she’d made the purses herself, and, would remember to make one, with my daughter’s favorite cartoon characters.

Seeing how happy they interacted with one another, as a mom, I’m happy as well.  The friendship we shared got to continue on, and, my daughter seemed to have gained another set of parents, and the love of the older brother and sister too, and my daughter learned to be grateful too, that, was not what I’d expected to have happened.

This, would be the interaction, with someone’s child’s best friend, and, the child still recalled how nice the family that babysat for her was when she was younger, and, she’d wanted her mom, to give something back to the family that looked after her, kindness IS reciprocated here.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Because of Love, Child Development/Education of Children, Childhood, Connections, Friendships, Life, Relationship, Socialization, Translated Work

My Husband’s Misinterpreted Me

The interactions between a couple here, translated…

Early in the morn, before my husband headed out into the community to volunteer, he’d told me, that he was going to get two boxes of dumplings from the old streets home after the activities were over, that way, we’d have our servings of protein, as well as starch too, and all I needed to do, was to broil up some vegetables, and there goes our suppers.

At six-thirty in the evening, the moment my husband walked in, he’d shouted out with excitement, “I got some pan-fried dumplings!”

I was washing the veggies, and, my face turned, and I’d asked him with an annoyance, “didn’t we agree on getting dumplings?”

“You’re the one who told me you wanted the pan-fried dumplings, that, was why I’d bought them!”, his face also turned colors.

“Why do you always NOT get the message I’d sent?”, I could no longer hold down my anger anymore, “Pan-friend dumplings are fried with oil, while dumplings are cooked with water, which one’s healthier?  If it were me, would I choose something that’s so unhealthy?”

“I distinctly heard you said that you hadn’t had pan-friend dumplings for a long time, so that, was why I’d stood in line, especially to buy them for you, if I’d gotten the dumplings, then, I wouldn’t have needed to stand in line!”, my husband looked so innocent.

“So, you’re the one who wanted it.”, I’d finally decoded his hidden messages, but I’d still felt fumed on the inside, “Do you NOT recall how many RED markings there were on your health exams?”  “Oh!  I’d bought it already, so, won’t you give it a rest already?”, my husband is now, getting annoyed.

Yeah!  It’s been such a long time, since I’d had those pan-fried dumplings, and, they smelled amazing, because of how hungry I was, I’d stopped grilling him.

I was naturally timid and feared the darkness, in the depth of the nights, after my husband went back to bed, I could still slouch up on the couch, to watch those late night soaps, naturally, it was because of the company of my dearly beloved husband.

If we dissected our lives, and analyzed everything, the conclusions we arrive at would be that “life is made up of the smaller matters of daily living”, same as in marriage.  Living this long, I’d already come to understand: we must tolerate how sometimes, we would misunderstand one another in communication, that there may be sparks from time to time, life would then, be happy, and our marriages, steady.

I’ came to bed, saw my husband already fast asleep, I felt more than comforted, I’d gotten closer to him, to snuggle, closed by eyes, and, deleted all the bad emotions for the entire day, one, by one.

This, is an example of NEVER going to bed angry, and, sometimes, even IF you’re married for a long time, there would still be misreading one another’s messages, and, at this time, great tolerances would be needed, to resolve the issues, like this woman had come to her senses on the matter, after all, the two of you are going for the long run together, aren’t you???

 

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Filed under Communications, Expectations, Family Matters, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Marriages, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Relationship

Freeing My Heart From You

You took control, of my heart, and, I still have absolutely NO clue, of how you got to it, and I’d worked, so very god DAMN, FUCKING (and your point being????) hard, to free my heart from you.

Freeing my heart from you, this, was NO easy task, because my heart, it’d longed for you constantly, and endlessly, while my head knew, that you weren’t right for me, and so, my heart and my head became, dead-locked, in this battle, endlessly.

Freeing my heart from you, I will keep on working at it, until, my heart can break out, of that cage that you’d built up, to keep it locked up in, and, until it (my heart???) is free from your control, I will NEVER be able to, rest easy.

Freeing my heart from you, but, I can’t even, imagine my own life without you, how the HELL am I supposed to, free my own heart from loving you?  It’ll be hard, I reckon, but, I will do it, a day, at a time, until I’m completely done, with ALL those TWELVE steps.

Freeing my heart from you, I finally hard, and now, it (my heart) never get reminded of the heartaches you’d caused me, as it’d found, another, better, brand NEW man for it to give itself to……

Freeing my heart from you, I had, and, I feel, so free, because I can finally, live, without YOUR abuse, and I’m soaring, free here!  It’s amazing, this feeling of F-R-E-E!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Betrayals, Broken Promises, Cause & Effect, Choices, Codependence, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Relationship, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Side Effects of Love

Found online, translated…

You realized, the most painful part about being single again is not that you’re all alone on your own, it’s that you used to be with someone else.

You had been involved in romances that gives you no worries, very easy, and simple too, the two of you always had a ton that you two can talk about, and, would spend every single minute together, and, when the two of you had nothing to do together, you’d find ways, to chase away the boredom.  There is NO limitless time, there’s just unfinished businesses.  Back then, the two of you didn’t have goals, but together, the two of you traveled, a very long way, and you could still feel the heat from his right palm on your left palm, his hand, faced down, yours, faced up, as if, he was, protecting you.  You’d found tracks of the two of you together, all over this city, gone to the wholesales place on Mondays, dined at the small restaurant on Wednesdays, and on Fridays, you two would hold hands, and go window shopping together, then, on the weekends, you two would go see a movie together, any film will do.  There’s this stability and this routine to the life the two of you shared, but, that, was the very first time you’d beheld the future in your embrace.

Back then, even if you’d cried, the tears would evaporate, before they hit the ground, there’s no side effects to love at all.

Later on, you’d gone back to, just being you.  It wasn’t some hard-hitting break up at all, the two of you parted, quite amicably, even shared one last hug together too.  The two of you made a pact, to always care for one another like friends, to live in one another’s lives for another three, to five more years.  From before, you didn’t believe in the saying of affinity or fate, but then, you’d come to the realizations that there IS a set lifespan to all the relationships, just like humans, and all you can do, was to work really hard, without ANY guarantees.  You had, matured in love, but sometimes, love just can’t seem to get quite caught up to your tempos.  Love took on a life of its own, you’re over that, but, you still can’t help, but feel bad about it being done with.

You’d once again, returned back to the infancy stages, you’d used the strengths you’d gained from the love, to take good care of yourself, shopped for groceries alone, gone to dine out alone, and on the weekends, you’d stayed in, to spend more time with yourself.  But, something just, wasn’t quite the same, like how that set of keys you’d exchanged with him, like there’s a part of you, that you will never, get back again.  You had started, hearing your own heart beats ringing so loud in your own ears, and, with the elongation of the time of you, being single, the sound got louder, and you just can’t, shake it all off now, slowly, suffocating you.  You thought, that this, was the effects of loneliness.

But then, you’d discovered, that you’re in misery, not because you’re single again, but because of how you keep remembering the wonderful things you’d experienced in love.  Your memories, and your bodies too, still recalled those moments of feeling amazing, they’d held on tight, refused, to let it go.  You’re not afraid of lonely, but instead, fearing that you will NEVER feel that way again.  And so, every night, in the late hours when you’re still awake, you’d feel panicky, you feel like you’re slowly, drowned by these waves, of loneliness.

And that, was when you realized, that the after effect of love was, fear.

That relationship had taught you, how to get along with yourself, but it didn’t tell you, how to readjust to a life, after love was over.  And, it’s because you’d loved once, you’d also learned fear too.  But at the same time, you knew too well, that the amazing things that came with love, wouldn’t dissipate, with this fear of love you felt, because the sole source of your pain was from fear, not loss.

And so, you’d finally, come to the understanding, that you were, merely, having an allergic reaction to love.  But that warmth you’d felt over that lost love will eventually fade away, just like you’d wake up, in the winter mornings, and sneezed, and know, that you’d healed up, properly and completely, then you will, find someone new, to share the next winter with.

Then, you’d come to understand, that all of this, is a part of love, holding one another tight when you two were still together, but learning to smile again, after love is over.

And so, you’d finally, healed, and, it still wasn’t easy, you’d gone through the changes, from having someone to stay with you, to show you support and love, to have NOBODY, and slowly, you will, gain that lost sense of who you are back, and stop defining yourselves in terms of the other person, and, that, is how, you will, get through this winter of break up…

 

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Filed under Being Alone, Expectations, Lessons, Loneliness/Solitude, Loss, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Relationship