I’m Not a Porcelain Doll, the Reflections in the Doll Corner

This morning, the Porcelain climbed off that high shelf that her owner kept her on display, toward the floor, and, she stood there, in front of the mirror (b/c it’s a girl’s room, and ALL girls want to get dolled up, don’t they???), and, she’d looked at her self in the mirror, left, and right, like how a scientist is examining something s/he’d just, discovered…

I’m not a porcelain doll, Porcelain mumbled to herself, although I looked delicate, fragile, easily shattered, but, I have, a heart of a Raggedly Ann, you can SHAKE, toss me, and let me DROP to the floor, I still won’t BREAK!

not my photo…

I’m not a porcelain doll, the Porcelain decided, that she will NOT be fragile like she’d always been, she’d wanted her owner (a little girl???), to pick her up, and play with her without worrying about shattering her, and so, Porcelain started changing, metamorphosing, and, the little girl who’d owned her, hadn’t seen her, she’d, forgotten about the existence of this particular Porcelain she loved so much.

not my photo…

I’m not a porcelain doll, I won’t break if you shake me too hard, and, even if you tossed me high up in the air, and I come down, landing on my head, I still won’t CRACK wide open!

But, although Porcelain had, made up HER mind on not to break anymore, she still can’t change her physical self, and, surely enough, she’d, shattered, for the last and final time, and, we are all gathered here today, to MOURN the loss, of our dear friend, Porcelain, she was, a very good doll, she just can’t get satisfied, being WHAT and WHO she is, that, is why, she had “died”………

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The Perfect Face with the Perfect Body

There’s NO such thing!

The perfect face with the perfect body, how is that defined?  Based off of one’s perception, knowledge, of what beauty entails, right?  And, do we NOT have the same definitions of what “beauty” is?  So, there’s NO way, that someone can have the perfect face, WITH the perfect body, it’s just not, humanly possible, is it?

The perfect face with the perfect body, well, let’s suppose that someone DOES have that, but, the moment s/he opens UP her/his mouth, you’d wished, that you hadn’t asked the person to talk, because the person is, quacking like a DUCK, or that the person sounds like shattering of those glass windows.

So, to be perfect, in EVERY single way, is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE, isn’t it?

The perfect face with the perfect body, if someone does have what’s been “defined” as a perfect face WITH a perfect body, does that mean, that the person will have it made for life?  That s/he is NEVER to experience ANY kind of difficulties in one’s life?  Of course not, because, as stories often has it, there’s NO such thing, as a good life, that comes with the good looks, and everything, take ALL of those fairytales of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Beauty & the Beast, Little Mermaid, etc., etc., etc., didn’t ALL of those heroines have to go through the trials of their own lives, to finally GET what they are searching for, and, for some, even IF they’d given it all they got, they still fell short (like Little Mermaid???), so, what, does THAT tell you?  Think about it, then, you MAY, get back to me, but, it’s NOT mandatory, and, I don’t want my mailboxes to be “stuffed”…

Walking Out of the Darkness After Losing My Marriage

The growth of a woman, translated…

My close friend, Hsin-Yi and two girlfriends’ floral shop opened, a few of us, their close friends, made the time, to give them the congratulations.

We saw how in the small space of the shop, there were so many colorful bouquets, potted flowers, and fashionable pots, plus the professional floral arrangements too, with the explanations of the concepts, it’d made us all happy for her, that she could, get from underneath the dark clouds of the loss of her marriage, and find her strength again.

Three years ago, after Hsin-Yi’s husband had an affair, she was in pain, but, for the sake, of giving her daughter a complete home, she’d decided, to put up with her husband’s bad behaviors, but in the end, she couldn’t save, this already shattered marriage of hers, and ended up divorcing her husband.

After her divorce, she took her five-year-old daughter, moved back in with her parents, other than helping with caring for her daughter, the family members would give her encouragements often.  Plus, her two girlfriends from college would often come by to say hi, have heart-to-hearts with her, hoped, that she could, get out, from under the failed marriage, to not get trapped by the depressive moods, and encouraged her, to make plans for herself, and her daughter’s sake as well.

Later on, Hsin-Yi and her two girlfriends decided to go into business together, the three of them decided to open up a floral shop.  Because Hsin-Yi had the working experiences as a wrapper at a floral shop from before, she’d naturally took up the work of packaging, selection of the flowers, as well as the designs for the pots, and the two of them were in charge of the finances and sales.

The three of them worked with the plans of opening up shop, their days were fulfilled, and, it’d ignited that sense of hope, in Hsin-Yi’s life again.

For the sake of gaining a wide variety of customers, as well as upping her own professionalism, six months before they’d opened for business, Hsin-Yi especially took lessons in how to make corsages and bouquets for the brides, hoped, that she could add to her own professionalism, to offer her customers more choices, and to give her daughter a bit more material wealth as well.

Hsin-Yi told me, that getting divorced is not scary, what’s scary was getting sucked, into the glooms of the divorce.  She’s grateful to her own family’s support, as well as her girlfriends’, giving her a lift in time, so she could get stronger, and, start again.

So, this, is with the support from her friend, that this divorcee had found herself again, and, having a social support system like this one is especially important, when you’re going through a major change in your life such as a divorce.

You’re No. 1 in My Mind, from the Mind of a Teacher

Translated…

“Although you’re ranked LAST of your class, but, the attitude you took, to handling everything, you’re actually TOP of the class in my point of view!”

Early this morning, Jun-Ren from the First Class of the Sixth grade took out his year book, handed it to me, wanted me to write something that can give him the encouragements, without a second thought, I’d written those words down, tapped him on the shoulders, showed that I’d believed, how hard he’d worked.

Jun-Ren lives with his sixty-year-old grandmother, just the two of them, early every morning, he’d gone to recycle with his grandma, after 6:30 when the shifts were finished, he’d still must make breakfasts for his grandma, then, head to school for class; after school, he’d returned home to help his grandmother pick up the recycling materials, and wouldn’t get home until late at night.

“Jen is a very well-behaved and understanding boy, back when his parents divorced, they’d handed him to me, for the sake of making a living for the both of us, I’d started picking up recycling materials; I’d felt, that this, is shameful work, and so, I’d worn my face mask when I’d made my rounds, but, Ren told me, that we’d not robbed anybody, nor did we steal, there’s nothing to feel ashamed of doing what we did for a living.”  As Jun-Ren’s grandma talked of these events, her eyes started getting watery, “Ren is a very amazing kid, every day, he’d helped me on my recycling rounds, caused him to not have enough time to study, and he’d never complained about it.”

True, Jun-Ren was not only well-behaved, he was willing and able, to handle the public affairs for the class.  Last semester, as I’d assigned the cleaning areas, there were still two individuals needed for the fourth floor restrooms.  I knew, that there are NO students willing to do this sort of dirty and smelly job, but, as the disciplinary office’s director asked who’d wanted this job at the early morning gatherings, Jun-Ren raised his hands up first, and, invited his best friends to work alongside him.

And, as he’d cleaned up the restrooms, he’d rolled up his pants and sleeves, worked hard, to scrub the toilets clean; even in the cold winters when the water temperatures are freezing, he’d not slacked off either, he’d sweated it all out working the restrooms, giving this brand new aromatic scent to the restroom areas, which was originally wreaking of this rancid smell, he’d even gotten the excellent remarks each and every month by given by the schools too.

Actually, it isn’t that Jun-Ren hated studying, it’s because after his chores, he’d gotten too tired to do anything else.  But, his hard-working attitude awes us all, nobody in his class can compare.  And so, he’s ranked at number one in my mind, I will be giving him a certificate of achievement as well as a “first place for hard working mannerism” prize, to give him blessings for his future.

And so, the reason why this kid isn’t doing well is still NOT because he doesn’t study, but because he couldn’t find the time to study, because he had to help his grandmother work, to provide for them both, and, the teacher understood it, and, gave him the commends, and hopefully, this boy will take the teacher’s heart, and keep working, with his hard working mannerisms.

Treat Yourselves Better

Call it, an understanding from life if you will, translated…

As I’d marched past my half-way marker, I’d finally managed, to find a dozen of my elementary school classmates.  We hadn’t seen one another for forty years, and, we were all very surprised and moved as we met back up again.

Huei-Huei, who had her heart set on never marrying, in the end, still marched into the marriage, and, because she’d had her children late, they’re at their teenage years, the time when kids give their parents the headaches; and, she’d had to take care of her husband’s business, she couldn’t make the time as she lived in the middle parts of the island.  From the gatherings we’d had before, she could only watch the photos through her cell phone screen.

And, two years later, on this day, Huei-Huei took the opportunity that her daughter attended a conference in Taipei, and accompanied her daughter and gathered with us again.

But, I saw how stressed out she was, of the members of the family as she was with us, it truly made my heart ache.  I’d told her, “you’re here now, just go with the flow”, she’d rarely made trips, and so, she needed not worry about the goings on of her house, learned to relax herself a bit, and NOT carrying everything upon her two shoulders.

After all, we’re no longer young, nobody knows when life will end, so, we must live in the moment, take advantage of the now.

Seeing my other classmate, Pam, she’s outgoing too, also married late, without any kids, she is very good, at mastering her own life.  Wherever there are goings on, she could be found there, she’d lived her days to the fullest, and had the word, “happy” written all over her face, and, she’d looked younger and energetic.

Because of work, I’d needed to go into the hotels for conference meetings, and, would come across a ton of fashionable ladies there, they’d eaten together, and carried on in conversations in a relaxed manner, they looked leisurely.

I think, that the pressures modern day women face is way more than those who came before us, other than working hard to make a living, we’d also must take care of, raise our children, be good to our in-laws, and, we all had heavy loads we needed to carry; if we can’t find a way to de-stress, and learn to treat ourselves with kindness, then, we may have missed out on a lot of the good stuff in our lifetimes.

And so, this, is treating yourselves kindness, as a woman, because we women are giving to our families, pouring our hearts and souls out at work, and, after we’d come home, we’d still had to, take care of everything else that’s happening there, and, we run around the clocks, 24/7, and, if we don’t treat ourselves kindly, then, nobody’s gonna!

Not Winning Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Lost

Thoughts, from observations here, translated…

One day, I’d gone with a good friend, to take her emergency rescuer test, she’d really hoped she could pass and get chosen, because when her mother was hospitalized, she’d received a ton of assistance from the volunteers at the hospital; my friend believed, that one day, after she’s retired, she hoped, to become a volunteer who can also help others.  And so, the examinations on that day is very important to her.

At the end of the exams, I saw her come out of the testing room, with her head, hung downward, looking upset, I guessed, that she may not have done as well as she would’ve hoped to.  On the drive back, I’d inquired: did you lose, or, did you just, not win?  She’d replied: what’s the difference?  I’d continued asking: are you going to take the examinations after this one?  She’d replied, “Of course!”  And so, I’d congratulated her, today, she just didn’t win, she didn’t lose at all.  Because, “not winning” was exactly what’d happened today, but, “losing” is completely negating one’s own abilities from one’s own minds.  My friend smiled and nodded in agreement, and gave me a hug.

The test that came a month later, at the same place, I’d still gone with her to take it, and, this time, she’d hugged me, this time, she’d passed her examinations successfully.  She said, “Not winning doesn’t mean losing”, will be the motto she will keep on living by.

And so, this woman had helped her friend get her confidence from not passing that exam that first time, and, that still just shows, how easy, you can change your losing attitude to a winning one, with JUST one thought, and the way you see things, are often the main determinants of whether or not you’re successful in life.

Keeping the Moods Uplifted, You Won’t Age a Bit

It’s still, ALL in the A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E here, translated…

Awhile ago, I’d gone with my daughter to her middle school classmate’s wedding, it’s been a little over a decade since we’d seen one another, the bride asked me with this shocking tone in her voice, “Mrs. How come you still looked as you did when we were in middle school?  Even younger too!”, I couldn’t help but recall, last month, I’d bumped into my daughter’s elementary school piano lesson instructor, she’d said the same thing to me; on last year’s nine-in-one election, when I’d bumped into a former coworker, she’d told me the same thing too.

A few days ago, I went to get a perm, the hair stylist told me, I’m thirteen years younger than you, you don’t have that many visible wrinkles on your face, and, lines are crawling from the corners of my eyes, naturally, I need to get my face toned up!  Yesterday I’d gone to the marketplace to get some fruits, the lady that sold the radish cakes was at the fruit stands, socializing, she’d asked me too, how come you don’t age a bit?  What, is it that you’re eating, what brand of moisturizers are you using?

Actually, the greatest factor that affects how one looks are the moods.  I have a female friend, who is beautiful on the outside, when she was younger, she had a ton of suitors, in the end, she’d married someone who was rich, tall and handsome; and, back then, they’d become the envy of everybody, we’d all given them our deepest blessings.  But, the good things in their marriage didn’t last long enough, a few years after they were wed, the man started had another woman on the side, and my friend couldn’t cope with her husband’s affair, and, overnight, all her hair had, turned to white.

Awhile ago, I’d bumped into her, her cheeks are so thin, I could see her bones, and, her face was filled up by wrinkles, she’s just in her early fifties, and yet, she looked as if she’s a whole lot older, I feel really awful and sad for her.

Other than keeping the moods lifted, I’m also grateful to my parents, for giving me beautiful skin, and a body type that’s not easily fattened.  I’m naturally optimistic, think on the bright side of things always, and, wear my smiles every single day, and naturally, all the troubles would escape from my mind.  And, I would have fruits and vegetables, planted by my husband, without the agricultural pesticide; and even if I didn’t really watch what I ate, I’d still kept at one rule—eat to when I’m seventy-percent full, and must chew everything thoroughly before I swallowed.

I have the habit of having coffee every single day, but, I’d not gone overboard, plus I’d kept up with an exercise routines, my metabolism is fine, my moods are well, naturally, the years couldn’t leave their marks on my skin!

And so, this, is how one woman keeps herself looking young, by keeping a good moods, by thinking positively, and, if you can manage that, you’re half way there, and naturally, eating right, and exercising regularly is also, a MUST, for staying healthy.