Category Archives: Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style

All the Hurtful Things You’d Said to Me

I wish that I can say, that none of it mattered, but, it’d still, affected me, but, I’m slowly, becoming, desensitized to it.  All the hurtful things you’d said to me, had become, something, that fueled me, those awful words that had, gotten too deep, into my ear canals, had finally, made me deaf!

what it felt like at the beginning…not my photo…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, after so many years, it’d, still hurt, but, a little less every single day, and, I suppose, that one day, all the hurtful things you’d said to me, will NO longer affect me, it’s just, that that day, hadn’t, “arrived” yet…

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they don’t matter now, I’d become stronger, hearing all the hurtful things you’d said to me, and, they no longer, hurt me anymore, they’d become, nothing more than those cold winter winds that cuts through the skin on the surfaces now……………

and now…

no longer “registering”, ‘cuz I’d, tuned you O-U-T!!!

All the hurtful things you’d said to me, they’d, become, this never-healing infection of my childhood days, and growing up, I’d, carried all my scars that marked my body, and now, as I’d become, an adult, those scars became scabs, and, underneath those ugly scabs, there are, newly, grown-in layers of skin, waiting to come out.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Despair, Downward Spiral, Interpersonal Relations, Lessons, Life, Miscelaneous, Obstacles in a Relationship, Things Left Behind

Promises They Can’t Keep

Promises they can’t keep, they’re still makin’ ‘em to ya, because they knew, that you would, believe them just the same, but, WHY do you?  Why are you, still buying into those promises they can’t keep, and you know DAMN well, that making those promises are only their tactics.

Promises they can’t keep, they keep making, because that, is how they are, they’re liars, wanted NOTHING but your votes, and, they are willing to say WHATEVER the HELL it is you wanted to hear, to get you to vote for them.

Promises they can’t keep, they will NEVER stop making, because that, is how they work, and, you’re the ones to blame, for allowing them, to keep lying to you, because it’s still an ABUSER-ENABLER interaction style, and, you still can’t stop yourselves there, can you?  Of course N-O-T!

Promises they can’t keep, they had NO intentions at all, to uphold those promises they made to you, and, the reason why they’re just making those empty promises to you right now is because???  Oh yeah, they NEED your votes.

Promises they can’t keep, when, will you finally, STOP believing, or, do you need some MORE time, to de-tox, to get yourselves OFF of those dependency trains you’re currently riding on???

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Abusing Someone's Trust, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Expectations, Government, Policies, & Politics, Properties of Life, Stupidity

Feeding to My Fury

You KNEW just how far to push me, don’t you???

Feeding to my fury, you had, and, my fury became a hungry monster, that just, keeps on, devouring, eating, taking everything it encounters in, leaving, absolutely NOTHING behind.

You should’ve known better than to make me angry, you should’ve been more perceptive toward my emotions, but, you weren’t, you just kept, prodding, prodding, prodding me on how my day went, and you didn’t even detect that slight scent of anger that I felt, slowly, coming UP to the surface!

Feeding to my fury, this, is what you ALWAYS do, you just push me, push me, and push me, until I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and, I BLEW, and, you wondered, what’s UP with her?  You, that, was what’s UP with me.  Feeding to my fury, my fury became too starved, in need of sustenance, and, it devoured my love, stripped me of my ability, to control my emotions, and, I blew, and, although I knew it wasn’t right, to lash out, but, it felt so good, and I became, addict, to the feeling of the power surge I got, from you, feeding to my fury………

Feeding to my fury, but, my fury is no longer starved, and besides, all of my buttons, you’d PUSHED, until they all broke, and now, you are, left, all alone, in the silence, and, you can’t handle it?  Well, that’s just, TOO BAD, isn’t it?

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Being Exposed, Coping Mechanisms, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Socialization, Vicious Cycle

His Heartbreak Took Me Hostage

His heartbreak took me hostage, because I feel sorry for him, and, he’d used that, to his advantage!

His heartache took me hostage, and, I’d worked hard, to break free from him, but, after so many failed attempts, I’d stopped, trying to break free.

His heartbreak took me hostage, I felt sorry for him, and I gave him my sympathies, and he’d used my kindness, and I ended up, paying the price.  His heartbreak took me hostage, I found myself, in this deep, dark hole that he used to keep his broken heart buried in, and now, I’m its next victim, getting buried alive by the pains from his broken heart.

His heartbreak took me hostage, how will I break out?  Guess I can just, run, and never look back?  But, I know that I will totally, look back at him, and see how pitiful he looks, and I’d gone soft, all over again, and, be taken hostage, by his broken heart once more.  His heartbreak took me hostage, and there’s no way I’ll ever break free from his controlling ways, because each and every time I tried to leave, he’d painted his face to resemble pain and suffering, then, my bleeding heart would “act up”, and, it just keeps on repeating over, over, over, and it just NEVER ends for me!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Because of Love, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Messed Up Values, Properties of Life, Socialization, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

A University Makes the Victims of Sexual Crimes Feel They Were to Blame

And, NO, I still did NOT JUST make this up, I discovered in on Yahoo!, written by H. McLeod…

A Christian University in South Carolina discouraged some students who reported being sexually assaulted as children or on campus to go to the police and made them feel they were responsible for the abuse, a report released on Thursday said.

Bob Jones University’s attitude over nearly four decades toward student reports of sexual abuse or assault was “blaming and disparaging,” according to nearly 62 percent of survivors who took a confidential survey as part of an independent investigation commissioned by the university.

The report examining the response by the non-denominational Protestant college in Greenville comes as universities nationwide are scrutinizing policies for dealing with sexual assaults after a Rolling Stone magazine report on an alleged gang rape at the University of Virginia.

Nearly half of the sexual abuse survivors at Bob Jones University who replied said staff discouraged them from making a police report or told them directly not to report the abuse.

In an apology to victims, university President Steve Pettit said the school had changed its practices in recent years to “make it clear the biblical lesson of forgiveness does not imply that the victim is in any way responsible for the sexual assault or abuse they experienced.”

The review was carried out by a non-profit organization in Lynchburg, Virginia, called GRACE, which stands for Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment.

One person who replied to the survey said students were told “that a woman who was raped or sexually abused brought it on herself.” Another victim who reported being abused by a grandfather said Bob Jones University staff asked: “Did your body respond favorably? If it did, then you need to repent.”

The report found that school officials were not appropriately trained to counsel victims and that some victims felt staff members rushed to resolve their negative feelings.

The university said on Thursday that an appointed committee would review the findings and make changes as needed “to better reflect our values and show victims the love of Jesus Christ.”

“Victims should never be blamed for abuse or assault,” said university spokesman Randy Page. “In hindsight, we see how some could have interpreted our teaching, preaching and counseling as indifference and insensitivity to those who needed help the most.”

And yes, this happened, in the U.S. in a CHRISTIAN university, believe it or don’t!!!  And that still just showed how those bad people, with their minds, NOT set straight, are ruining the education of the young, and what the F***?  And now, after this had been dug out from all that mess on top, the university spokesperson tried to put out that fire?  Yeah right!!!  Grow a BRAIN, people!

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Bad Behaviors, College Life, Cost of Living, Gender Inequality, Messed Up Values, Rapes, Scapegoating, Stupidity, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Wake Up Calls

Why Do You Keep on etting Him Back in???

From a friend’s angle…

Why do you keep on letting him back in???  You DO realize that he’s NOT good to you, right?  So, why, do you keep on letting him back in???  Because you got so used to being victimized in your relationship, because that, was how your parents interacted with one another, and, now it’s happened to you too, you don’t want to, nor are you willing to, make a change, to help yourselves out.

Why do you keep on letting him back in???  Because he’d always looked so remorseful, so sorrowful, after he’d hit you?  Is that it?  Do you NOT know, that he’s appeasing to your maternal instincts, and this, is where you got screwed over, by your own maternal instincts!

Why do you keep on letting him back in?  Oh, I know, because you’re still totally STUCK, in your own Electra Complexes, and, by allowing your children to watch you get beaten up over, over, and over again, guess what those little Johnnys will learn?  That it’s okay to BEAT up on members of the opposite sex, because mama lets daddy do it to her!  And for those Little Janes???  They are going to learn, that it’s okay, if the guys I’m with, HURT me, because that, is what you’d exposed them to, growing up, and in the end, you’d become the culprits who’d murdered your own offspring!!! Why do you keep on letting him back in???  Because he’d always apologized, for losing his temper, for hurting you and the kids, because he’d always showered you with gifts after he’d beaten the SHIT out of you???  Are you FUCKING retarded!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Carelessness of Adults, Observations, Perspectives, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Raised by Your Abuse & Her Neglect

I was, raised by your abuse and her neglect, and, I was hurt a lot as a child, just as you were too, and yet, you weren’t wise enough, to KNOW how to treat me right! Are you FUCKING retarded???

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, and look how well I’d done, growin’ up. Raised by your abuse and her neglect, I would’ve hoped for better parents growing up, but seeing how NOBODY gets the first selection of who they were born to…

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, and now, I’m all grown up, and, I will N-E-V-E-R, EVER, EVER, E-V-E-R, allow this pain, this betrayal I’d experienced, to get passed down, to this next generation in MY freakin’ god DAMN bloodline legacy.

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, how could you? Abuse and neglect your own offspring, and call it love?  And, just because you never had the good kinds of parents who loved you unconditionally, doesn’t give you the R-I-G-H-T, to NOT love me unconditionally too, does it?  Of course N-O-T, because RIGHT, is R-I-G-H-T, and WRONG, is W-R-O-N-G!

Raised by your abuse and her neglect, I will N-E-V-E-R, hurt my own, as you’d done yours, and now, you will face, a future, filled with regrets, and you WILL be paying, dearly, for your mistakes, with both your lives, along with the lives of the ones you loved, and cared about, and that, is still??? Oh yeah, NOT my P-R-O-B-L-E-M, because it’s NOT in my B-A-C-K-Y-A-R-D???  Uh, D-U-H!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Excuses, Family Dynamics, From a "Victim" to a "Survivor", Hindsight, Lives Lost, Messed Up Values, Nature vs. Nurture, Negligence, Negligence Homicide, Observations, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Social Issues, Socialization, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence