When Death is the Only Gift I Can Give to You

Death is, the only gift I can, give to you, love!  I don’t want you to, suffer anymore…

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, I can’t!  I just, can’t bear the thought of, losing you, it’s, too painful!  When death is the only gift I can, give to you, because you’re, in so much pain, and you’d, become, reduced, to less than you were, from when you were still, healthy, happy, and free, and now, you got, trapped, inside this, sick little body of yours, growing weaker by the day!

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, will I be able to, just, let go, of my love for you, knowing that, you’d be, better off, DEAD?  And, how can I, say goodbye to you, my love, after we’d, shared, so many years of our lives together, of all that we’d, weathered through with each other, huh?

like this???photo from online

You’re, asking too much of me, and I just, can’t!  I can’t, let you go, you mean too much to me, I can’t, lose you, it hurt, just, thinking about it!

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, then, I will, force myself to give you just that, because, I will, NEVER allow you, to suffer, like someone I used to love, suffered, before he was, put down!

So yeah if death turns into, the only gift I can, give to you, then, I shall, give it, and nobody says SHIT about it!!!

What is Taken Away from Your Education?

Lessons we learned, from school, from our own, experiences in life, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Recently I’d made the speeches at the schools, as the speech ended, a parent led two children to before me.  “Professor, I was your student, do you still remember me?”  This was every instructor’s nightmare, I’d, worked really hard, to think back on all the students, and just, couldn’t, recall her name; but I’d still smiled and told her, “let me think!”, as she’d heard me say this, her smile did not fade, she’s not, disappointed one bit, but her second-grade daughter looked up at her innocently, “Mom, your teacher can’t remember you!”

I felt very awkward after hearing, before I could reply, she’d immediately told her child, “Do you know how many students the professor’s had?  How can she remember every one, but, so long as I remember her!”, then, she’d, started speaking of her middle school careers, that with the problems she’d, faced in life then, how I’d, given her the advices she’d needed, “because you’d, counseled me, teacher, so I will, never forget you, as I saw the flyer on the seminar, I was so excited to come, to thank you.” as she’d told me, I still, can’t quite, remember her, but, I’d felt, very touched by her words.

The following day, a student used the communication app to contact me, this particular student had been, hurt by a certain teacher, he’d come back to me to tell me about what happened, to seek out my counsel, it took me sometime, but I’d, accompanied him, helped him out; back then, I’d, encouraged him: you need to turn what happened to you, into your driving force, if there’s a chance, you must, help those who’d been hurt like you had.  Back then he’d told me, that he will, work hard, to become a teacher who can, help his students.  In his final year of high school, he wrote me that with his grades, there was, NO chance he will ever be a school teacher, so, he was, willing, to become, a serviceman, to fight to protect the country.

And now, many years afterwards, he’d, shared with me everything he’d weathered through in the armed services, and he’d, mentioned what happened to him again back in middle school, and stressed to me, that even though he wasn’t, highly ranked, he will use his past as a teacher, to NEVER make the mistakes his middle school instructor had made.

After I’d read, although I’d felt glad, but, I couldn’t help but feel: that the first woman told me, “so long as I remember you!”.  It symbolized, I don’t’ need your affirmations from your memories, but I will remember, that was, the demands that one made of, one’s own, characters, to never forget to be, thankful.  While the second student, couldn’t forget about the shame, but he’d not, selected, to take revenge, instead, he’d, turned his shame into something he could, learn from, to remind himself, to NEVER shame another like he’d been, shamed.  Think on his, how many people we will meet, how many things we can, encounter, in our, lifetimes!

Who remembered us, it isn’t, that important, what’s important is who we remembered?  Well, it’s, not that important either, the important being WHY we remember who or what we remember?  Those that happened, those whom we remembered, what were their, influenced on us?  From these two students, I saw the choices of attitude, how they’d, chosen to make themselves feel happy, how by choosing to forgive, it’d, given him peace, to use the past as a mirror to reflect, to have a life without regrets, what, will you, choose?

And so, this, is something worth pondering on, what, do you remember when you graduated?  I’m sure, that it’s not the course load, the books, the materials, or even what you’d made on your exams, it’s the experience of learning, of accumulating the knowledge, of the lessons that life teaches us that we will, carry with us from here on out.

Staying TRUE, to, a WHORING M-A-N

I still gotta say, this is, still NOT directed toward anyone who can R-E-A-D, as for those of you who’d, stumbled onto this site of mine, and can’t READ, well, you got NO business being here, so, get the HELL out!!!

What AM I???  A @#$%ING (maxed out!) R-E-T-A-R-D???

And, why on God’s “green earth” (oh wait, god does NOT have sole-proprietorship over ANY of us, here on E-A-R-T-H!) would I do something so stupid like that, huh?  Besides, you were the ones who couldn’t keep your god damn, @#$%ING (maxed out!) DICKS in check, so, what RIGHT have you, to tell me that I’m not keeping my you-know-where intact?

The primary reason W-H-Y a lot of women are currently STUCK in this, predicament (you can call it that if you want to!) is because they are, too dumb, and too, BLONDE (the dumb-blonde BIMBOS???), to unable to see, how staying STUCK, should be, their, last resort, and they still, don’t get themselves out, why is that, is absolutely, beyond ME!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, that may be our, only option, IF we live in the, 18^th, 19^th, 20^th centuries, but we are, in the 21^st CENTURY here (hello, hello, hello, is this thing~~the P.A, even on???), because we are, without a viable skill, to make a living on our own, therefore, in the olden days, we relied on our losers has-beens, to keep us, and seeing how they are all, the bread winners of the house, they can, WHORE around all the want to but that’s, back then, and this, is N-O-W!

Staying true, to, a WHORING M-A-N, is something I will NEVER do, in fact, like all you losers out there that EXTRA “appendage” “down there”, I too, prefer, VIRGIN males too, okay, and yes, I will have my two “virgin males” NEUTERED, and I am going to get the two of them both, HOUSEBROKEN, and, they will be, “camping” their butts, on my bed, next to me, giving that they don’t crawl onto my pillow, to find that soft spot (like Murphy’d done???)…and we’ll all get along, just fine, and dandy here…

My Daughter’s Response, on Parent-Child Interactions

Allowing your own young to experience, so s/he knows, that MOMMY is, RIGHT!!!  Translated…

My daughter woke up late this morn, I’d placed her breakfast into a box, for her to bring to school.  At this time, she’d told me she’d not wanted to eat it at school.  I’d hollered, “Why?”, she’d, minced her lips, refused to tell me another word, I’d thought for a bit, and asked, “do you want to take the time before classes to finish your assignments?”, she’d nodded, “it’s too time consuming to have to eat breakfast at school, it takes away the time from me doing my homework.”

I had to admit, I’d felt, a bit, emotional as she’d told me this.  I thought it’s, defeating the whole purpose of things, thinking of finishing her assignments on time, not caring about her health.  Besides, “homework’, is supposed to be work, taken home to complete, and yet, she’d been, rushing through the assignments in the mornings as she arrived at school, to the point of, giving up breakfast, this is, so totally, not, understandable.

As I was about to go into lecture at her, suddenly, I thought of myself.  In the elementary years, I’d gotten too busy with the various kinds of contests and competitions; in middle school, the pressures of academic made me buried in books; entered into high school, I’d, insisted I could, handle both my academia and my extracurricular activities; as I started n college, I’d, burned off my youth like crazy—but, during those years, my mother never said anything.  Surely, she’d, nagged, it’s just, she couldn’t, do a thing, as her daughter is, very much an, independent thinker, and, finally, allowed me to, be.

Many years later, in the mornings, I stood before my daughter, and, suddenly understood, my own mother’s, nagging back then.  Toward the young, mothers always showed their care and concerns, there were the, worries, always wanting to, offer the best answers for her life.  But, because I’d been a kid myself, I knew, that a lot of the lessons in life, you must learn, personally, for you, to come to realize, what is, the correct answer, and so, I’d come to understand, that the best thing for me to do right now, is, just zip it up.

Finally, as I saw her off into the school, I’d stated, “mom believe you are, able to decide correctly for yourself, breakfast, or not breakfast!”

I can even, give, the correct answer, and then, justify my claims of why my answer is correct, and yet, no matter how perfect I’d, argued my case, it won’t, do a thing for my daughter, because it’s not the answer she’d found by herself.  The only thing I can do, is to give her room, to discover, to hit, for her to, persuade herself, at the same time, having the faith, that she is, able to, persuade herself.

Turns out, what’s harder in caring for our young, is letting them go, to allow them, to make their own, choices in life.

In the evenings as she came back home, she took out the packed breakfast box.  I took a look, nothing’s inside.  She stuck out her tongue and told me, “I was so hungry, and so, I couldn’t help, but eat it.”

Maybe, these lessons of our young, rather than, drying up our own tongue, why not, allow their, rumbling stomachs, to teach them what’s correct.

And so, this, is how a child learns, that her mommy’s, right (and of course, us mommies, are ALWAYS and FOREVER right!), but for our young to understand that we ARE right, sometimes, we need to, stop worrying about them, to just, let go, and let them touch the FIRE, so they get burned, and that hurt register inside their brains, OUCH!  It’s hot, and I shouldn’t touch, like this mother did, for her own young, to LEARN, that HER mother, is R-I-G-H-T!!!

Outside the Abortion Clinic…

Outside of the abortion clinic, you see people, holding those, pro-life, and pro-choice signs, and your bodies are still, NOT yours, it was, NEVER yours to begin with!!!

Outside of the abortion clinic, the crowd gathers, to protest the clinic’s god-defying action, with, absolutely, NO sense, of how this FUCKED up matters are, caused by M-E-N.  And you’re, protesting G-O-D???

this, is what you’ll, see…photo from online

Outside the abortion clinic, the crowd parted like the Red Sea, on one side, was the men who are, PRO-LIFE (you mother fuckers aren’t the ones going through the FUCKING pregnancies, what right have you to say, huh???), and on the opposite, there are, the PRO-CHOICE women (it’s our bodies, our rights!!!).  But, do we really, have a right over, our bodies?  I mean, think about it………

Outside the abortion clinic, the crowds are, getting rowdy, and then, in an instant, windows shattered, death took over the air, and there’s, still NOTHING that anybody CAN do, because a woman has the right, over HER body, doesn’t she?  Or, must we women, be ruled by, M-E-N???

Outside the abortion clinic, pamphlets are, flying, fires started everywhere, it looked like, Armageddon, the world, on the verge of, destruction, and yet, where is, G-O-D, in all of this, huh?  If God exists, why didn’t he, stop this, atrocity, tell me!

Regarding the Extracurricular & the Camps

Getting involved, in non-school related activities here, translated…

My youngest was headed out early in the morn, because the camp from her major was starting, as a freshman, she is very enthusiastic of all the activities hosted by her major.  I remembered, that, we’d, headed out before light for her last thing too, in the nearly zero degree icy cold floor of the CKS Memorial Hall, rolled around on the floorboards, it was her salsa club of her high school, she was responsible for coordinating a “recital of her younger schoolmates.”

My youngest started dancing from her kindergarten years to date, dance had become, her favorite.  It’s just, that her school teachers mentioned how if she’d worked too hard on her “hobby”, it may, cause her grades to slip, but she’d, asked us, not to worry, “the extracurriculars are important rites of passage, just let them give it all they got for this!”  but, I’d, found my daughter, with that lack, of enthusiasm, turned out, she had, dropped her activities, because she’s still, trying to figure out what she’s good at academically, she’d told us, “I’m more than certain about dance, and anything else, is not good enough for me.”  Until her final year in high school, she’d, transferred from the sciences, to the social sciences, and now, she’s, in the major she has great interests in, communications, and, she’d, danced every day, and now, she’d, gone out early in the morn, for her summer camp activities.

the assortments of activities, not related to the academic…photo from online

My eldest and I, were both into the extracurriculars in our high school years, I’d, gotten involved in two groups, one was for vanity, the band, the other, school paper.  Being in band, I’d, played the trumpet, without much talent, just so I can, put on that marching uniform that made me shine on flag day, and, walking across the podium before the President’s Office.  As for the school paper, it was, where my heart lies, I’d, let my own, writing talents, poured out.  I’d recalled, how hard it’d been that I had, worked, on every topic, how I’d, gone to the shopping marts, to find the old photos, to do the interviews, and published my not-mature-enough writings, wanted to pour all of my doubts of the world, my feeling lost for my future, along with my dissatisfaction toward school, all out in the open.

I can no longer recall how the periodical had, turned out, but, my grades, slipped, and, that became, a F-A-C-T.

I’d found a university that I really don’t hate to study in, but the major I was in, it wasn’t anywhere near my interest profile.  And, by then, editing the periodicals, no longer, satisfied my mind, maybe back then, love was, taken up half of my mind.

And yet, because I’d, lost love, I’d, decided, to go for the president of the club, to let myself, embrace this major I’d, found myself to be in, tired, to learn to be a, leader.  And so, the memories of my college years, were revolved around the freshmen orientations, the camps, the seminars, the book fairs, the competitions.  I recalled all the guest lecturers I’d invited, remembered all the shows we’d put on for the freshmen orientations, recalling that freshman ball we hosted, remembered the singing and skit competition I’d, set up, remembering being in the trainees of the officers of the clubs of the school too, along with how I continued being the team counselor as I went into my senior year.

I’d once not wanted to graduate, because I loved being a student too much.  And, the best memories of being a student, are from, the extracurricular activities, as we’d, entered into the groups on our own, there’s, too many connections there.  Like how I watched my eldest get too excited as she’d, started, editing the footage, like how I imagined my youngest happily, leading the freshmen, because she’s, finally, a sophomore.

volunteer counts too!  Photo from online

Some had found their significant others in the extracurricular groups, like my eldest brother and sister-in-law.  A lot of people found what they truly loved, like my youngest and I.  Recently, I’d, edited a periodical of a bookstore, and, I’d, found my passions there, and that, was when I’d, recalled, this, was what I loved, doing back then.

And so, these extracurricular activities in college, they’d not, only enriched our schooling careers, but it may also, point us, toward the directions of our, future jobs too, and so, don’t be too worried, when your own young got too involved in their extracurricular activities, besides, the university years aren’t about making the grades, it’s about, discovering, who we are!!!

The Judge Took $100,000N.T. in Money for the Deceased from a Drug Dealer’s Wife, Sentenced to TEN Years

Knowing the law, and you still, BROKE it, wow, are you, STUPID or something, or, are you just, too tempted, huh???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The former judge of the Hualien High Subsidiary Court, Lin was accused of receiving $100,000N.T. in offering money for the dead on his own father’s funeral, in exchange for giving her husband a not guilty verdict, the retrial of the High Courts found Lin guilty of corruption, sentenced him to ten years, and fined him $1.2 million N.T.s, stripped of his judgeship for five years, and, the money he’d received from the bribes, confiscated by the government.  The other judges criticized him for shaming the justice department, for giving the judges a bad rap.

Lin served as a judge of the Hualien High Subsidiary Courts during the 1999 to 2010 terms, he retired with the title of office manager of the Hualien County Council’s legal control offices.  There were, many debates of his behaviors during his time as a judge, other than the case involving the drug dealer, Tseng, he was also accused of allowing the man, Lee who was diagnosed with tuberculosis out on a $1.7 million N.T. bail, he’d been sentenced to thirteen years by the courts, but last year, the High Courts changed his verdict to not-guilty, the D.A. is in the process, of filing an appeal to the Highest Court on the case right now.

Lin was accused of while working as a criminal court judge during 2006, on the case involving Tseng, when the captain from the local police investigations Wang told him that Tseng’s wife was willing to pay him, hoping that the turnout of the case will be in Tseng’s favors, and, set up Tseng’s wife and Lin to meet at a karaoke in Hualien, and there was also, the secret company of Lin’s, Chen present too, the four made a pact, Lin left his business card, Chen and Tseng’s wife traded their phone numbers during the time.

like, uh, this???photo from online

During the trial, Lin advised Tseng’s wife what sort of a strategies she could use to help her husband to get a lighter sentence, and collected the evidence that was in Tseng’s favor under the tables, and told Tseng’s wife of the progressions of her husband’s case.  And Tseng’s wife had, given the wines, to Chen who was a “confidant” to Lin too, in May of 2007, Tseng’s wife gave a $100,000N.T. using the cause of his father’s death, to give to him.

By the end of the year, when Tseng, the drug dealer was being sentenced, of the charges, selling a level one controlled substances, he was given the sentence of “not guilty”, while on the charges of selling a level two controlled substances, the sentence of nine years was, maintained, the Highest Courts tossed back the not-guilty verdict of the level one controlled substance back to the district courts, and Tseng received only eight years for it.  In 2010, Tseng escaped to China, and in March of 2012, Tseng died on the run, and his wife felt displeased at how she’d already, “spent so much money”, and still, her family got torn apart, she’d, decided, to tell the courts of what had happened in sum.

Yeah uh, hello,, apparently, MONEY is still, what makes this world goes ‘round based off of this BAD example of this bad judge, he’d taken the bribes, from a drug dealer’s wife, to get him off easy, and, he’d, given the tips to the man’s wife on how to plea, how to manipulate the systems, and, he took in the bribes, for his services to help the dealer get off easy, and it wasn’t until that the dealer had died on the RUN, did his widow decide to come out…

To Make Their Quotas, the Police are Playing Devils’ Advocate

What would you do, to MAKE your quotas, huh???  Are you, willing to, make a PACT with the DEVIL?  Yep you would!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The former station manager of the Ping-Zhen Substation of Taoyuan City Police Department, Wu had gone easy on his subordinates, the sergeant, Ding, illegally searched the residences, and corroborated with the addicted couple to plant the guns, to make the quotas of safety check before the New Year’s.  The Taoyuan District Court charged the four involved officers, Wu and three others on illegal searches, and setting the suspects free, and falsifying the records, five to six and a half years, there was another officer who’s on the run.  The verdict blamed Wu and his crew for seriously damaging human rights, that they’d, acted, with great malice.

The D.A. investigated, that the Spring Safety Review for the substation ranked toward the bottom in 2011, and, in order to up the record, Ting on January 17^th, 2012, found that Liu had a gun in his possession, and, went over the district to Yangmei, and illegally searched his home with officers Lee, Lin, and Chen, but they were only able to find the illegal substances, and not the weapons.  The suspect, Liu worried that his girlfriend, Chen, who had an active arrest warrant might get arrested, he’d begged the police to let them off easy.

Lee told him, that he’d needed to make the quota for the gun checks, the suspect, Liu offered to trade the leads in exchange for not having both him and his girlfriend arrested, as the officers agreed to the “trade”, they’d not taken Liu into custody, and, allowed him to talk with his friend about the trade.  Later, Liu’s friend handed over the gun, the ammo, and, made the excuse of visiting a former classmate, Yeh, and planted the gun inside the ceiling of Yeh’s factory, then, notified the police to check.

like this???tryting to conceal what they did illegally…comic found online

As the “trade” was agreed upon, the police agreed to let Liu leave with his girlfriend, and, falsified the records on how they were able to find the gun, and, after the records were signed and confirmed by the station manager, Wu, the officers, Lee and Chen, they’d turned it over to the D.A.; Yeh, who was framed was charged with possession of weapons, but, during the trials, Yeh kept telling the judge he was, framed.

The D.A. felt that something wasn’t quite right, they’d reassigned the new investigators, and, found that Liu was dealing, and put on police surveillance, and, they’d filtered through the files, and, heard him tell his friend, “tell me where you’d placed it”, the man replied, “I’ll tell you later”, which became the solid evidence proving that the gun was framed.

In October of 2014, the D.A. assigned the units, and arrested Wu and three other who were involved, on illegal searches and forgery; Chen already escaped to Canada, and an active arrest warrant had been signed into effect for him.

The courts weighed in, that the four officers were law enforcement officials, and, didn’t follow the proceedings to get the guns, and abused their powers, and illegally searched, and, traded with Liu on setting him and his girlfriend free, and framed someone else, Wu, as the police station manager, didn’t not stop it, instead, he’d, agreed to it, that the whole station had, damaged the human rights of the men arrested, the authority of the police, along with the trust that people placed in the law enforcement officials.

Last September, the Examination Committee members also impeached Wu and three others, and believed that they’d planted the guns, and framed innocent civilians, and they’re, processed by the punishment committees.

Yep, this just showed, how the MORALE of the law enforcement officials had, gone down, too low!  These men, in order to make the “sales quota” they’d, used their status of power, and forced a man, to rat out his friend, and, they’d, planted evidence to make the man’s friend appeared guilty, but, justice had, prevailed in this case, because, all these officers’ bad behaviors were caught, and now, they are faced, with an even MORE severe punishment, compared to if they were civilians, doing all of these, bad things, because they WORKED (past tense???) for the L-A-W, and, they’d, knowingly, broken the laws!!!

Raped, by the Silences…

We are raped, by the silences, because, we’re, afraid to tell anybody what had, happened to us, because, if we tell our truths, the outside world will only, ostracize us more, saying, that it’s our fault, that we shouldn’t have, behaved too provocatively in front of that man, that we were, just, asking for it, therefore, we’d, kept our silences.

what we were…picture found online…

Raped, by the silences, we were, because, we’re, too afraid to talk, too afraid for our lives, as well as the lives of, those we loved and cared about, and, can’t even begin to imagine the shame they will feel, if our stories, busted out into the open!

Raped, by the silences, there’s, no way this will, ever come to an end, because, those predators are still, lurking, waiting, for their chances to, attack, and even though, we only come out, during the daytime, sometimes, it feels, like nights…

Raped, by the silences, we were, we were all, victims before, but, I’d, managed to, turn myself, into a god DAMN survivor here, I will, NEVER be quieted, be silenced again!!! what we are now…

what we have the potentials of becoming…picture found online

Raped, by the silences, there’s, nothing we can do, to change the past, change what’s already been done to us (and no, we NEVER enjoyed it!!!).  Raped, by the silences, no we don’t, keep our lips sealed, because what was shameful, wasn’t US, it was, what was, done to us!

What if, the Legalities of Your Marriages, Rests on Someone Like Me?

Uh, this is, what’s, up for “grabs” in the election coming up this weekend!

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone like me, and I just happen, to be a HOMOPHOBE (not that I am or anything like that!!!), and, what IF, the rest of the majority of the population in this country, ARE just like me, haters of homosexuals?  Then, you, who’s a homosexual, would be, totally, SCREWED!!!

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone else, other than the two of you, huh?  If you were, born a certain way, you should NOT be made, to PAY for it, that is, how you were born, it wasn’t, your fault, and yet, this voting session is, penalizing those who are, DIFFERENT, with an alternative, SEXUAL orientation, so, how’s that fair, huh?

I mean, I would HATE it, if someone tells ME who I can, or can not love, or marry!  After all, it’s, MY life, my choice, and NOBODY ELSE should have a say in it.

What if, the legalities of your marriages, rests on someone else?  Is that even fair?  And no, I’m still, NOT begging all of you, to vote for or against GAY rights, I’m merely, presenting a “case” here, think about it, if it were you, how would you feel, if someone tells you, who you can or can not fall in love with, huh???

But, I’m still, voting this Saturday, and guess which way I’m voting?  FOR HUMAN rights!  That’s, how I shall, always BE voting!!!