Category Archives: Choices

Things we have to choose from in our lives.

The Thirty-Sixth “I’m Sorry”, in the Workplace

Translated…

I read across a report in a magazine, “the most widely used phrases came from the Zen Master of the era during 420 to 589, in the west, it’d become popularized in the 1850s, meaning those words one said repeatedly”.  In the article, it’d mentioned how those most widely used phrases can have positive effects in communication, that if the working class constantly used the positive most widely used phrases, they would attract those who are similar to them, and naturally, get closer, to success………I’d told my son, since he’d gone into the travel industries, his most widely used phrase was, “I’m sorry”, is this positive?

My son laughed in disbelief, at which time, his cell phone started ringing, it was, the tour guide to Japan, said that two of the guests refused to have the hotpot arranged for them by the tourist agency, that they’d insisted on having pork chops; the leader of the tour worried it might be inconvenient to the restaurant, and feared, that it might be a bad example for the rest of the tourists, called from overseas, to file a grievance to my son, “Your clients, you take care of them.”  My son immediately apologized to the tour guide, then, soothed the travelers, asked them to just eat the hotpot with the rest of the group, that after they returned, he will treat them to the pork chops they’d wanted to have.

from the papers…

Seeing how my son had, lowered himself, as his mother, I felt that he was taken.  But my son told me, there are people from all walks of life, don’t know how many bad customers I’d come across over the years, this, was merely, a side dish, he said, that once, he’d continually told a client “I’m sorry” a total of thirty-six times, after the phone call, he was, completely, depleted of energy.

That time, he’d taken on a foreign tour group, at the information session, over thirty people came, as he’d collected the fees, some paid by credit card, some paid by cash, all of a sudden, he’d become aware, that there was a tourist, Ms. Lee who’d asked to pay by installments, and asked the others, “are there any like Ms. Lee who are paying by installments?” then, a group of people rushed up to him, and Ms. Lee was extremely furious, “What do you mean?  Why did you use my name?”

“Holy!  Could she have, mistaken my meaning that she didn’t have enough money that, was why she’d paid by installment?”, my son immediately realized that he’d misspoke, and told her that he’d not meant anything by it, but Ms. Lee wouldn’t have it, still pressed on.  And my son, who was then, cornered, can only kept apologizing to her, and as he’d counted to the thirty-sixth time he’d apologized to her, Ms. Lee finally got tired of grilling him, turned around and left, and he’d gone back to his cubicle, and, downed half a liter of water in one gulp.

not my comic…

Afterwards, my son received a call from Ms. Lee’s coworker, told him, that Ms. Lee was scolded by the superiors at the office for NO reasons at all, that she wasn’t in a good mood, that, was why she’d taken her angers out on him, hoped that my son can empathize.  My son said, that it was his fault first, that he’d spoken too fast, without taking into considerations that it may affect the way she felt, that he will surely improve the next time.

Although my son said carelessly, that he’d, rolled around the workforce for many years now, and had already become totally immune from everything that happens in the workforce, I can still see, that he was, somewhat hurt.  As for his most widely used phrase, did it have any positive influences?  I’d thought for a long time, and still couldn’t reach my own conclusions, but, you can never be too courteous, if you’re not closer to success, you would be, a step away from failure, I suppose.

So, this, is when one deals with a customer who’s WRONG, but, because this guy works in the service industries, he’d needed to, lower himself, to make his clients feel better, and this woman took out how she was grilled by her superior at work on someone unrelated to her work, and that just shows how low emotional control this woman has.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Belief in a Just World, Choices, In the Workplace, Life, Scapegoating, Socialization, Values, Vicious Cycle

Walking Out of the Darkness After Losing My Marriage

The growth of a woman, translated…

My close friend, Hsin-Yi and two girlfriends’ floral shop opened, a few of us, their close friends, made the time, to give them the congratulations.

We saw how in the small space of the shop, there were so many colorful bouquets, potted flowers, and fashionable pots, plus the professional floral arrangements too, with the explanations of the concepts, it’d made us all happy for her, that she could, get from underneath the dark clouds of the loss of her marriage, and find her strength again.

Three years ago, after Hsin-Yi’s husband had an affair, she was in pain, but, for the sake, of giving her daughter a complete home, she’d decided, to put up with her husband’s bad behaviors, but in the end, she couldn’t save, this already shattered marriage of hers, and ended up divorcing her husband.

After her divorce, she took her five-year-old daughter, moved back in with her parents, other than helping with caring for her daughter, the family members would give her encouragements often.  Plus, her two girlfriends from college would often come by to say hi, have heart-to-hearts with her, hoped, that she could, get out, from under the failed marriage, to not get trapped by the depressive moods, and encouraged her, to make plans for herself, and her daughter’s sake as well.

Later on, Hsin-Yi and her two girlfriends decided to go into business together, the three of them decided to open up a floral shop.  Because Hsin-Yi had the working experiences as a wrapper at a floral shop from before, she’d naturally took up the work of packaging, selection of the flowers, as well as the designs for the pots, and the two of them were in charge of the finances and sales.

The three of them worked with the plans of opening up shop, their days were fulfilled, and, it’d ignited that sense of hope, in Hsin-Yi’s life again.

For the sake of gaining a wide variety of customers, as well as upping her own professionalism, six months before they’d opened for business, Hsin-Yi especially took lessons in how to make corsages and bouquets for the brides, hoped, that she could add to her own professionalism, to offer her customers more choices, and to give her daughter a bit more material wealth as well.

Hsin-Yi told me, that getting divorced is not scary, what’s scary was getting sucked, into the glooms of the divorce.  She’s grateful to her own family’s support, as well as her girlfriends’, giving her a lift in time, so she could get stronger, and, start again.

So, this, is with the support from her friend, that this divorcee had found herself again, and, having a social support system like this one is especially important, when you’re going through a major change in your life such as a divorce.

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Filed under Attitude, Cause & Effect, Choices, Cost of Living, Friendships, Life, Observations, Values, Women's Issues, Work Ethics

After the Death of a High School Student, the Police Were on the Look Out for the Bookies and Found Three High Schools and Twenty-Seven of Their Students Involved

Started too young, in the life of crimes, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The second-year high school student, Kao works as a bookie for a gambling website, because he’d owed $280,000N.T. in gambling debts he couldn’t pay up, on Mother’s Day, he’d attempted suicide by burning charcoal in his home.  The police followed the leads, and two nights ago, managed to arrest the bookies He works under, Tsai and Lee, and Yeou, who’s above the bookies.  After Tsai and Lee were interrogated, they were taken into police custody, and Chuang was charged with gambling right away.

The police sorted through He’s cell phone, and found there to be twenty-four other students from his school who were also involved, and, interrogated them all yesterday, and so far, three schools and twenty-seven students have been found to have involvements in the case, and from this, we can see how serious the problem of on campus gambling is.

The police stated, because the online gambling sites are set up abroad, and, the workers took cash bets, it’s really hard, to find the person behind it all, and, Chuang was merely a “small fish” in the gambling websites.

Tsai and Lee are both minors, and, although they’re involved in the gambling charges, they weren’t caught in the act, and so, they were sent home after being interrogated, alongside twenty-four others, and, they’re to make their appearances in juvenile court at another date.

The investigative officers pointed out, that two weeks ago, Lai, another student from He’s high school, because of how much pressure there was for him as a junior bookie (Retailers), after He learned, he’d taken up the post, but, for the next two weeks, because the students who’d signed the bets couldn’t pay him, and he’d owed the debts himself, he and his peers owed a total of $160,000N.T.  And because the debts are collected on Mondays, in order to find a way out, to turn his situations around, on the evening of May 9th, before Mother’s Day, he’d bet in the “Dice Games”, but, in just one night, he’d lost $120,000N.T.s, the very next day, he’d left the message, “Lost my final bet in life”, committed suicide by burning charcoal.

The student, Tsai was once the upstream for Lai, in February, he was caught by the police, and, he’d handed his job to another student from another school, Lee, later on, He connected with Lee, Tsai and Lee admitted to working as the general agents, and reported to Chuang directly; Chuang sold drinks at the night markets regularly, and, in order to increase his earnings, he’d gotten the agent rights from a gambling ring online, from a man nicknamed “Chang”, absorbed Tsai, Lee as his downstream, on the ninth, he’d heard Lee told, that “He is suicidal”, but he didn’t know He personally.

The police officers said, the student He accepted the bets from his fellow students, and got 1.5 percent of the fees, and, the bets ranged anywhere from $100 N.T. to $10,000N.T., the gambling rings used the temptation of making huge amounts of money to attract the students, and, at the start, they’d given them the sweet rewards, but, they’d found an assortment of reasons, to withhold their commissions.

The police suspected, that He had lost the bets, and, wanted to gamble one last time, to see if he could make what he’d lost back again, and maybe, he was affected by the Japanese comic of “Revelation of Gambling”, the main character from the comic was a habitual gambler, with high debts, in the end, he’d taken his friend’s advice, went onboard a gambling ship called, “Hope”, placed his final bets, ended up, winning everything, but the money was scammed away by his friends, He might have copied the behaviors in the stories, but, he’d ended up, committing suicide.

So, this, is the cause of the death of a high school kid, because he was tempted, and, once he was drawn in, he’d found himself, sinking deeper, deeper, and deeper, and in the end, he couldn’t get out, so, he took the easy way out.

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Filed under Cause & Effect, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Current Events, Despair, Getting Exposed Too Young, Lives Lost, Observations, Peer Pressures & Influences, Problems of the Teenage Years, Social Issues, The Teenage Years, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

When Life Happens by Fate, NOT by Choice

This, is how those unwanted pregnancies never got aborted…

When life happens by fate, not by choice, what, am I supposed to do, with this life I got, that’s not my choosing, I kept, running ‘round in circles, nonstop, bumping into those god DAMN dead-ends without the answer I’d sought after so many times.

When life happens by fate, NOT by choice, well, you don’t have a choice, you’re already OUTSIDE (of your mothers’ bodies!!!), and, you got NO other option, but to live this life, that’s endowed to you.

When life happens by fate, NOT by choice, but, life DOES happen by fate, and NOT choice, you didn’t choose, to be BROUGHT into this world, at the time when you were born, it wasn’t, up to you to decide, and, all you could do, was to, live with the SELFISH consequences of your god DAMN parents’ unprotected FUCK!

When life happens by fate, NOT by choice, you may think, that you have a choice in everything you do, but you don’t, as everything’s already LAIN out, and, those so-called choices you’re misled into believing that were up to you to decide?  They’re really, actually NOT, it’d been decided, SINCE the moment you were born, and, how is it that I’d come to know all of this?  Let’s still just say, that I KNOW everything, as I had become, a MISS-KNOW-IT-ALL, since 2008, and, I did die, back in ’08, and still, I’d, “bounced” RIGHT back to life, after that final decapitation I’d endured…

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Filed under Attitude, Awareness, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Fate, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Burdens from Caring for a Developmentally Delayed Child was Too Much, the Mother Jumped into the Water, the Father Tried to Save Her, Both Parents Ended Up Dead

It is hard enough, taking care of a normal child, and this family needed to care for one that’s developmental delayed, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman with a Chinese descent, Chen was found, drowned to death, close to where she lived, in a large ditch, her husband, Wang was missing; and because Chen had prior records of attempting suicide, and was saved, the police believed, that it was because of the stresses she’d faced, taking care of her developmentally slow son, and she couldn’t handle it, took the leap into the river, and her husband who couldn’t swim went after her, and was drowned too, and missing, the firefighters are searching for Wang through the nights.

The police investigated, that Wang (age 39) , married Chen (age 30) from China, both of them worked in a factory, has a six-year-old and a two-year-old son, but the older child was developmentally delayed, and harder to care for, the couple got along really well, but, because taking care of their older child was hard, and so, they’d gotten into verbal altercations from time to time.

The police told, that the three generations of the family lived under the same room, the grandparents on the first floor, Wang and their children, on the second; at around four in the afternoon yesterday, the youngest child cried about how he wanted his mom, tripped and fell at the entry of the staircase, the grandfather didn’t see the daughter-in-law come down to check on the child, felt it was odd, and, after the grandfather gone upstairs, he’d found both the parents aren’t around, immediately called it in.

The family stated, that Chen, ten days ago, had gone to the drainage systems in Hsiu-Shui to attempt to drown herself, but, her father-in-law found her in time, and prevented her from so doing; yesterday afternoon, Chen went out again, and her husband ran out without putting on his shoes, perhaps, because Chen wanted to kill herself, the husband ran after her, to prevent her from doing so, and, to save his wife, he leapt with her, but, because he couldn’t swim, they both drowned.

Chen left behind a notebook, with the final words for her son, “Mom knows you’re not a healthy child, but, mom will go, to a far away place now, to watch you boys grow up from afar.”  “Mom really loves you very, very, very much, you are my cherished babies, both of you…”, as the family members read how Chen spoke of nothing but love toward her sons, they all felt bad, that she had died.

The relatives of the Wangs said, that the eldest son is slow-to-learn, and reacted slowly, the family would take him to the hospitals for follow-ups, the parents of Wang not only helped the couple look after the child, also treated Chen, their daughter-in-law, as if she were their own, they couldn’t figure out, what drove Chen to commit suicide.

Perhaps, it’s how she felt awful about her son’s conditions, and she could do nothing about it, and, with the strains from her day-to-day living, she just couldn’t get through, but that, is all speculations now.

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Filed under Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Children with Rare Conditions & Special Needs, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Family Matters, Hindsight, Life, Lives Lost, Loss, Messed Up Values, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Moral Responsibilities, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Suicides, Tragedies in the World, White Picket Fence

After a Swiss Man Gunned Down His In-Laws, His Wife’s Younger Brother-in-Law, the Neighbor, He’d Committed Suicide

This, is TRULY SHOCKING, in ONE of the world’s HAPPIEST nations too!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Happiest Country in the World Has Over a MILLION Guns

A thirty-six year-old Swiss man on the ninth, gunned down his parents-in-law, his wife’s brother-in-law, and a neighbor, then, committed suicide.  The police quickly ruled this incident out as a terrorist attack, but a domestic tragedy.  Just last month, Switzerland was voted as the “World’s Happiest Nation”, and, this murder-suicide had shocked the entire nation, and, some attributed the events to how guns are in excess.

The murder happened in the city of Verenigingen, close to Zurich, the suspect was a father of three, but he didn’t live with his family, the police said, that he didn’t have a license for a gun.  The suspect first, broke into a resident, gunned down his fifty-eight year-old father-in-law, fifty-seven year-old mother-in-law, and his thirty-two year-old brother-in-law, then, broke into another resident, gunned down a forty-six year-old neighbor, then, committed suicide.

The suspect had a prior in violence, lived alone in the state over.  He was under investigation, after a 2007 confrontation when he’d caused someone to get injured, and in 2012, he was arrested for using verbal threats on someone.  Before the murders on the 9th, the wife and children of the suspect had moved out, and entered into a shelter already.

Last November, a similar incident happened in Switzerland too.  And this time, this massacre had caused a huge ripple in the originally peaceful Switzerland, the local papers wrote: “Impossible, after all, we are the world’s happiest, richest country.”

Based off of estimation, there are a total of 4.5 million guns floating arou9nd in Switzerland, and the number of guns owned in Switzerland is among the tops of the world, second only to the U.S., Yemen, and Serbia.

And so, you have to wonder, even IF this was only an ISOLATED incident, why, is it, that the world’s happiest nation would own the greatest number of guns?  And, this, may only BE a dispute in the family that went wrong, but, it still raised concerns for the world.

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Filed under Awareness, Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Domestic Violence, Downward Spiral, Gun Control, Issues of the Society, Murder, News Stories, Observations, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Violence in the Media, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Should I Get a Divorce When My Husband Has an Affair?

Marital difficulties here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: L whose marriage is in the MUCK wrote…

Having known her husband for seven years, married for ten, has a daughter and a son, Mrs. L wrote several letters describing how her marriage is sinking: when L was pregnant with her firstborn, her husband became addicted to porn sites, and was about to head off to a motel with an unknown woman, and was stopped dead in his tracks by L.

In the seven years’ time, disregarding L’s words, her husband used the accuse of getting closer to god, became a spokesperson of god, to help others resolve the issues in their lives; and ever since, he’d given less and less time to his families, and, the two of them are slowly drifting apart.

Last November, she’d found out that her husband had an affair with a married female coworker, not only did her husband NOT admit to wrongdoing, instead, he’d blamed her, for not making him happy, causing him to need to find someone else, believed that it was, ALL L’s fault.

During this time, a lot had happened, L told the female coworker’s husband that she was cheating on him, the husband started becoming verbally abusive, and stated that he wanted a divorce; and, L felt, that her husband had become possessed, since he “became” closer to god.

And now what was phasing L was that the in-laws hoped, that they wouldn’t divorce, for the sakes of their young children; but her husband said, that after they’d split, they will each take a child, but, both children wanted to live with L.  Although she has work, however, she’d feared, that after the divorce, her husband won’t pay her alimony, she won’t be able to keep her kids in school, although the counselor had suggested that L gave the custody rights to her husband, but L didn’t want to, and, everything became stagnant.

A My Opinion

I don’t believe, that L really wants a divorce.  In her letter, she talked of how much the Valentine’s Day present her husband gave to her meant so much, that it wasn’t that he went out of his way to buy it, but it was a gift from the company he has business with, and, she is also hesitant, because of the issues of her children.

L can first, think about what’s LEFT in her marriage, half a dinner roll?  Or, just some, breadcrumbs?  Meaning that she needed to figure out, HOW much there is, left in the marriage, WORTH her working hard over?  And, if working hard can really make her marriage improve?  And, what are both of their attitudes?  And their shared beliefs?

Based off of what I’d read, L’s husband is someone who does as he pleases, and, when he’d done wrong, he’d wanted her apologies, and, that, was NOT his first affair either, and clearly, he’d shown, a LACK of self-control, with a total LACK of disrespect for the marriage.  But L must think thoroughly, is she was willing to give her husband another chance?  Or to get divorce, so she could have a brand new life?  If you continue to engage in the silent treatments, you’ll only end up, draining yourselves dry.

And so, for the sakes of her children, and the words of her in-laws, this woman was STUMPED on whether or not she should divorce the husband who cheated on her, and, apparently this woman CARED a LOT about the marriage, and yet, her husband’s behaviors had let her down, time, and time again, and, this, is clear to see, from an outsider’s angle, but, because this woman is involved in the play of things, that, was why she couldn’t see the truth, that, is why she felt troubled…

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