Category Archives: Cyber-Bullying

The Truth About Stalking Someone…

NOTE: this, is NOT a “how-to” guide, found on Yahoo!.com

One in six women will be stalked in her lifetime…

The word, “stalking” had taken on a whole new definition in the cultural lexicon.  It’s the word we increasingly use to describe the garden-variety, 21st-century voyeurism we partake in everyday — behaviors at which no one bats an eye. “Stalking” a person online before an upcoming date is common, even de rigueur. “Stalking” frenemies we haven’t talked to in years (but still know all about via their Facebook profiles) has basically become a new pastime.

But the truth is, actual stalking is not something to simply brush off, mention in passing or take lightly. It’s very real and very scary — and this era, it’s all too easy to get caught up in a stalker’s snare. In fact, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 14 men will be stalked in their lifetimes.

When looking just at women, 1 in 6 — and that’s a conservative estimate — will be stalked at some point over the course of her life. Using a wider definition, though, involving persistent behaviors that make victims uncomfortable or fearful, that number is closer to 1 in women.

There’s an under-awareness about stalking, says Michelle Garcia, director of the Stalking Resource Center. “Some estimates suggest 7.5 million people are stalked yearly in the United States,” she tells Yahoo Health. “And that’s only adults.”

Stalking behavior isn’t uncommon among high school students — especially cyberstalking, which can be done easily from a distance via publically accessible information online. The behavior is also on the rise among the college set: According to a new study from the Crime Victims’ Institute at Sam Houston State University, almost twice as many college students report being stalked in the past 12 months than those in the general public (4.3 percent versus 2.2 percent). In fact, the Stalking Resource Center reports that half of female victims and one-third of male victims are under the age of 25.

You probably know your stalker.

Stalking is not a random crime. Generally, a stalker is someone the victim knows (or knew) well — often an ex or someone who was (or wishes to be) romantic with the victim. “It’s an intimate partner in about 50 percent of cases,” Garcia says. “In other situations, it’s an acquaintance — it could be a relative, a casual friend, or a person you see at the coffee shop every morning.” The point is, victims are usually familiar with, or at least aware of, the person doing the stalking.

For Katie*, her stalker was a guy from her elementary school. “When he added me on Facebook, I thought nothing of it,” she explains. “He would chat me, usually super-friendly, asking me how my day was, etc. — all was well. He wasn’t someone I would ever consider a romantic relationship with, but he was nice enough and we would talk. I even gave him my number at one point. This was my freshman year of college in 2008.”

But Katie knew something was off. ”He started hurting himself ‘accidentally’ and telling me about it, like slamming his hand through a window on purpose and needing stitches, head injuries, you name it,” she says. “This was the beginning of my fear.”

Indeed, another common characteristic of stalking behavior is that the attention is constant and makes the recipient uncomfortable, no matter who is doing it. The stalkers engage in behaviors that raise that red flags in your gut — incessant texts or messages, random gifts, sudden appearances, or, as in Katie’s case, attention-seeking comments and behaviors.

Intimate partners who are stalkers are also more likely to physically approach their victims and most likely to escalate contact, but progressive behavior can happen to anyone. More than two-thirds of stalkers will reach out to the object of their desire at least once a week, often daily, and 78 percent use multiple forms of communication — from letters, IMs, emails, gift deliveries, phone calls, and showing up unannounced. The stalker’s initial approach may seem harmless or soft, but the motives may not be.

Stalking is usually a slow and steady build.

A pattern of stalking is generally not an immediate, in-your-face realization. Pursuit is often a collection of behaviors that start small but then grow to something bigger, from a few strange emails to excessive, unpredictable, in-person contacts. “One of the biggest challenges with stalking is that individual behaviors are part of a bigger picture when it comes to stalking,” says Garcia. “It’s a progression, and it’s always context dependent. It’s not criminal to call or to send someone flowers.”

What constitutes stalking is not an exact science. For instance, if a boyfriend or a telemarketer calls a few times in a day, most people would generally not consider this bizarre. But if a waiter from a favorite restaurant in town, or an ex dumped six months ago continuously Facebook messages someone, it’s a little different. “It’s a series of events, and it can escalate over time,” Garcia says.

There is more information on this, on Yahoo!.com, feel free to check it out, and, all I’m gonna say about this subject, is that you can NEVER be careful with these kinds of things, and, when the two of you are still experiencing the Honeymoon Phase of your relationship, you have the tendency, to misinterpret the possessiveness that the person you’re dating shows towards you, and that, is why you got yourselves SCREWED, and, by the time you realize it, well, it may damn well be, too late, to break free…so, DO watch out for these signs.

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Filed under Abuse, Abuse of Power, Awareness, Cost of Living, Cyber-Bullying, Interactions Shared with the World, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, News Stories, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Social Awareness, Unrequited Love, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Women's Issues

Over Twenty-Percent of the Children of the Higher Grade Levels in the Elementary Years Were Cyber-Bullied

And NO, you still didn’t hear it from ME!!! From the Education Section of the newspapers, translated…

With the coming on of the cyber age, the bullying of the elementary years had gone online. The newest published research stated, that in the higher grades of the schools in the city, there are already over seventy-percent of children who are using Facebook, and, over twenty-percent of these users had once been bullied on Facebook, for instance, gotten hurt by the rumors, getting ignored and blocked by someone they knew; students with good grades would also ask the crowd on Facebook to bully someone else, and, those who gave kudos, who support this sort of bad behaviors, are even more numerous.

The instructor from Bo-Ai Elementary School, Chen had once handled a case where a student was bullied on Facebook, while he was studying at the criminology graduate studies school in Taipei University, he’d written his thesis on the topic of “the Bullying Relationship of Elementary School Students on Facebook”, he’d sampled over nine-hundred upper class students in the elementary years in the city of Taipei, and asked them about their experiences of being cyber-bullied, recently, he’d held a conference on the subjects in the forum, hosted by the Department of Education.

He’d found, that in the recent three, to four years, the bullying in the schoolyards had gone “hi-tech” and became cyber bullying now, because normally, the instructors would be in the classrooms, and, it would be easy for a student, to attack another; but, when the kids got home, a lot of the parents are allowing their kids to go online without restrictions, especially, with how user-friendly Facebook is, and how fast things spread on there, and there were functions to block, to become cliques, it’d exacerbated the conditions of group bullying.

Chen’s research found, that 73.3% of the kids in the higher grades of the elementary school years use Facebook, and out of those 22.7% were bullied on Facebook, the most widely used scenario: the classmates talked trash about you, or ignoring you on purpose, or, having other people isolate you.

The investigations showed, that over fifteen percent of elementary school student in the higher grades had once bullied someone else on Facebook; and, there were more than forty percent of the students, who just watched, as someone in their classes got bullied.

The research also discovered, that students who are highly nervous, more sensitive, easily angered, or anxious, are less popular in the groups, and are more easily to become the victims of Facebook bullying, because the victims would often block the abusers, to protect themselves.

As for the abusers who were once abused on Facebook, the boys outnumbered the girls. Chen said, what’s worth more of our attention is, the abused turned abusers in the schools are mostly those children with bad grades, and the troublemakers in school, however, those who used Facebook to bully others, are not necessarily not doing well in school.

Chen had once discovered, that there were those students who were making high grades, who seemed well-behaving enough, who are loved by their instructors, because she’s the leader of the class, she’d gotten together, with her clique, and bullied those she didn’t liked, and that would make the victims’ lives even harder.

So see, this, is another BAD thing about using FB, I mean, sure, FB IS the INNEST way to “connect” right now, I mean, who wouldn’t want to know what everyone’s doing, every minute of every day, right? But, this is still a HUGE problem, because kids are still bullying each other, because they can, because nobody’s setting them straight, and, even IF the teacher told the kids to stop bullying one another, you think that those children would listen to their school instructors?  HECK NO!

The More One Relies on Facebook, the More Likely One Can Become Victims or the Bullies

Chen, the elementary school instructor pointed on, in order to prevent the bullying on Facebook, the parents should make the rules of online time with the kids, rather than restricting them from using, and start caring about the kids’ friendships; when you find that you’re kids were blocked, or singled out, you may ask the school teachers to step in to help out.

Chen said, the elementary students now, are using Facebook regularly, and there more likely they’re to fall victim to this cyberbullying. The parents would make up the rules of how the kids must finish their school work, before they can log onto Facebook, and, when their coursework became affected by their Facebook usage, then, they will be banned from using.

Chen suggested the parents to give the kids enough privacy, when they’re using Facebook on a regular basis; but, you need to communicate with your children, and know their account names, passwords, so you can get a hang of your kids’ friendships, that way, you can help when something seems off.

As for the school teachers, Chen suggested, that they need to educate the students, that once they were bullied on Facebook, they must come forth and seek out help; especially, the instructors should encourage the bystanders, to NOT keep silent, to tell the teachers immediately, so the instructors can help mediate the tension that’s happening in the interpersonal relationships on Facebook.

And, if the instructors are observant enough, they can discover the bullied easily. Chen told the example, that two years ago, the sixth grade class he taught, there was a young girl who didn’t play with the other kids, but would come to him to talk, and, after he’d inquired, he’d learned, that she was singled out by her Face friends, everybody called her a “tattle-tell”, a fake.

And so, Chen called up the leader girl who started the bullying, to communicate, and through the fieldtrips along with other group activities, to close the distance of the victim and the perp, and he was able to effectively resolve the situations. The student who were bullied are mostly less confident, and the teachers can encourage these children, to take up leadership roles in the Face groups, to prevent showing off, and posting untruthful statements on FB, that can also help the interpersonal relationships to get better.

And so, this is still NOT YO MAMAS’ or YO DADDIES’ bullying NO more that’s for sure, and, with how popular FB is getting these days, that, would be how bullying happens, and this, is just as bad as cyberbullying, oh wait, it IS cyberbullying, and, there was this one girl who committed SUICIDE because she was bullied on Facebook from before, I know, I’d written about that when it got “presented” to me in the papers already!

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Filed under Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Cyber-Bullying, Facebook, Issues of the Society, Life, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Vicious Cycle, Violence in Schools, Wake Up Calls

How to Handle Web’s Cruel Side, by: S. Rosenbloom

From The New York Times that came with today’s papers today…

Anyone who has ever been online has witnessed, or been, virtually hurt by, a mean comment.

“If you’re going to be a blogger, if you’re going to tweet stuff, you better develop a tough skin,” said John Suler, a professor of psychology at Rider University in New Jersey who specializes in what he refers to as cyberpsychology.

Some sixty-nine percent of adult social media users in the United States said they “have seen people being mean and cruel to others on social network sites,” according to a 2011 report from the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project.

Posts run the gamut from barbs to sadistic antics by trolls who intentionally strive to distress or provoke.  Whether you’re a celebrity author or a mom with a décor blog, you’re fair game. In the virtual world, anonymity and invisibility help us feel uninhibited.  Some people are inspired to behave with greater kindness; others unleash their dark side.  The singular goal of trolls is to elicit pain.  But those comments, while nasty, present an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.

Social scientists say we tend to fixate on the negative.  Correcting that tendency requires understanding that you are ultimately in charge.  “Nobody makes you feel anything,” Professor Suler said.  The key is managing what psychologist refer to as involuntary attention.

Just as our attention naturally gravitates to loud noises, our minds fixate on negative feedback.  Studies like “Bad is Stronger than Good,” published in 2011 in the Review of General Psychology, have shown that we respond more strongly to bad experiences and criticism, and that we remember them more vividly.  “These are things that stick in our brain,” said James O. Pawelski of the University of Pennsylvania.  “If we allow our attention to move involuntarily, that’s where it goes.”

The mind, however, can be tamed.  One way is to ask yourself if those barbs you can’t seen to shrug off have an element of truth.  If the answer is yes, Professor Suler has some advice: let your critics be your gurus.

“You can treat them as an opportunity,” he said.  Ask yourself why you’re ruminating on a comment.  “Why does it bother you?”  Professor Suler said.  “What insecurities are being activated in you?”

Perhaps a negative comment can help you learn something about yourself.

“It’s easy to feel emotionally attacked from these things,” said Bob Pozen, a lecturer at the Harvard Business School.  He said that doesn’t mean that your critics don’t have a point.

But it’s not always possible to learn something from a nasty comment.  Some are baseless; some are crass.  One way to help is to consider the writer’s motivation.

Professor Suler wrote in 2004 in the Journal Cyber Psychology & Behavior about a concept known as “the online disinhibition effect”—the idea that “people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn’t ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world.”  The result can be benign (“unusual acts of kindness and generosity”) or it can be toxic: “rude language, harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats,” Professor Suler said.

The latter is the realm of trolls.  If people keep this concept in mind, he said, “they will see the psychology” of the aggressors, and their comments may be easier to take—and possibly ignore.

Harsh comments can also be made to feel less potent by disputing to yourself what was said.  If, for example, someone writes, “You’re an idiot and no one likes you,” you can marshal evidence against it by reminding yourself of the obvious: You have an education, a good job, many friends.

Also, be mindful when you choose to glance at your blog or social media feeds.  In other words: Stay off Twitter if you just bombed a presentation.

Another way to stop yourself from dwelling negative feedback is to enter into what psychologists refer to as “flow”, a state in which the mind is completely engaged.  Flow can be achieved when playing a piano concerto, practicing karate, being deep in conversation with a friend.  “The toughest time is when the mind is not fully occupied,” said Professor Pawleski, who also prescribed humor as a way to deflect barbs.

Even when a person is alone, humor can be very effective.  Try reading nasty comments aloud in a goofy voice, Professor Pawelski advised, so that when your mind automatically plays back the comment it sounds absurd.

And what if you shared a couple of the good ones with friends instead of sharing the ones that hurt you?  Research shows that it takes more time for positive experiences to become lodged in our long-term memory, so it’s not just pleasurable to dwell on a compliment—it’s shrewd.

“We’re really bad, typically, as a culture about accepting compliments,” Professor Pawelski said.  “They’re meant to be taken in and really appreciated.  They’re meant to be gifts.”

And, this would eventually BE maladaptive because?  Oh yeah, it trains your mind, to DODGE every single BAD experiences in your lives, and, IF you can FACE up to the negativities in your own lives, how can you expect yourselves to be well-adapted, plus, if someone leaves a negative “note” on your weblogs, or Facebook accounts or whatever, just ignore it, and, the article is written for those without a STRONG sense of the self, meaning that those who are affected by the outside world’s opinions of them are still WAY too external (Locus of Control, anyone???), so, take THAT, Professor!  No offense, but this, is how the Q-U-E-E-N (still H-E-R-E!!!) views thing, and yes, everybody IS still entitled to her/his O-P-I-N-I-O-N-S, as this article was written, as someone’s view on the matter, and, we ALL KNOW how we should handle the differences of opinions already, don’t we?  WE R-E-S-P-E-C-T each other even IF we don’t agree with one another!

 

 

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A Man Posted His Girlfriend’s Nude Photos, the Woman Leapt Off of a Building, the Man Was Charged with “Artificially Causing” the Suicide

Let’s see what the L-A-W has to say about this, shall we???  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A forty-six year old male, Cheng had been having an affair for many years on end, last year in October, after he’d broken up with his girlfriend, he’d posted sexually illicit photos of his ex, and had invited her family and colleagues to be “friends” on Facebook with him.  The ex-girlfriend begged him to take the photos off, or she’ll kill herself, and Cheng replied, “then let’s die together”, refused to do so.  Three days later, the woman leapt off of a building.  The District Attorney’s Offices in Shihlin believed that Cheng was involved in “artificially causing” suicide, and yesterday, they’d prosecuted him.

The D.A. believed, that Cheng had acted against the laws of privacy and personal information protection laws, and had given the woman the will to kill herself.  Based off of understanding, Cheng’s wife doesn’t even HAVE a clue about his affair, it wasn’t until she’d received the court papers indicting her husband, did she learn, that he was having an affair, and involved in the other woman’s death.

Cheng yesterday told the press, that the charges on the indictments were all false, that the family of the deceased didn’t read the whole story from top to bottom to get the entire situation.  He said, “It was NOT me”, and denied having uploaded the nude photos, and claimed, “I had only loved her, cherished her, I wouldn’t have hurt her.”  He believed, that the woman’s family “has their own issues as well.”

The D.A. investigated and found out that last October, Cheng had a fall out with the affair he’d had since twelve years ago, and on November 23, used the name “Hated Tseng” to get a Facebook account, and posted his ex’s picture as his display picture, then, uploaded the photographs they took together whilst they were still dating, and among them were photos of his ex, taking a bubble bath, and their intercourse too.

Cheng then asked the ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend, colleagues, and families to be his friends, as the niece of his ex got the invite, she’d gone and looked, and found that the photographs were of her aunt, nude, and notified her aunt immediately.

The woman saw how her private photos had been made public, cried as she flipped through the album, and used her niece’s Facebook account to beg “Please, let me go”, “I’m willing to give my life for you to show you how sorry I am, please, just take those photographs off”, and left the message, “If I died, it’s because you gave me NO options”.

Cheng wasn’t moved at all, instead, he’d replied, “well, let’s DIE together then!”, and claimed that he got a hold of more of her friends list.  Cheng wanted his ex to come back to him, threatened, “If you no come, I won’t hide it, I’d SHUT down completely”, and that he’d only “lived for you alone”.

The woman believed that Cheng had NO intentions of taking those photographs down, she’d climbed up to the fifth floor of her building, and, jumped downward, was DEAD before the EMTs could get her to the hospitals.  The woman’s father was very unhappy about how his child had died, wanted the D.A. to help get the man who did this; the police did a search of Cheng’s residence, and took in the computer with her nude photographs, along with thirty-six DVDs.

And so, that, is how a SOCIAL networking S-I-T-E can make it worse, and, it’s ALL because of how this man would NOT let this woman go, and, that still just S-H-O-W-S YOU, that you should NOT allow those pictures to get taken in the first place, because IF and WHEN (it’s more of a “when” than it is an “if”) you two break up, then, that, would become the LEVERAGE the other person has!!!

 

 

 

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Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Being Exposed, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, News Stories, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Suicides

Ex-Rutger Spycam Sentencing: the Punishment Still Does NOT Fit the C-R-I-M-E

Found on USA Today, reported by Mel Evans, AP

This, is paraphrased and summarized…

The former Rutger student convicted of using webcam to spy on his roommate will likely to be released from prison after serving 20 days of his thirty-day sentence in jail.

The twenty-year-old reported to jail on May 31, even though he could’ve remained free during his appeal.  The jail warden told The Associated Press on Friday, that Ravi is to be released on Tuesday, after serving just twenty days.

Ravi’s roommate, Tyler Clementi, committed suicide in September 2010, days after Ravi used a webcam to see — briefly — live streaming video of Clementi and another man kissing. Ravi was not charged with Clementi’s death.

A jury convicted Ravi in March of all 15 criminal counts he faced, including bias intimidation, for which he could have been given a 10-year prison sentence.

Last month, a judge said Ravi should have a shorter sentence in part because he did not commit violence.

Prosecutors are asking an appeals court for a longer sentence while Ravi is appealing his conviction.

Ravi’s lawyers have told a judge that he will begin making monthly payments toward the more than $11,000 in fines and assessments he was ordered to pay as part of his sentence and will start serving 300 hours of community service.

If the sentence stands, Ravi also will have to check in with a probation officer for three years.

So, that, is what you get, for committing a CARELESS HATE CRIME against someone who’s different, you’d get nothing MORE than just that simple SLAP on the W-R-I-S-T, because you “behaved” yourselves while you’re being jailed, is that fair?  Hell NO, and, no amount of money this guy pays the family will be enough, because it will NEVER bring their S-O-N back to life, so, you tell me if the sentencing is still WAY too light here, and no, I’m still NOT trying to “sway” anybody here, but, in my personal opinion (and this is still MY space!!!), I K-N-O-W that the punishment did NOT fit the crimes that had been committed against this individuals who just happened to be a homosexual man!!!
And the courts let this guy off easy, because he did NOT “commit” any “act” of violence?  Are you kidding me?  Just because you did NOT give a child a gun (meaning putting it into his hands), and the child still got his hands on it, and SHOT her/himself, you’re still G-U-I-L-T-Y of murdering the kid, because the kid DIED, because you FAILED to keep those G-U-N-S locked up in a SAFE place, where they wouldn’t be ACCESSIBLE to them, are you freakin’ kidding me here???  Once again, this is still JUST my O-P-I-N-I-O-N on this PARTICULAR case, and whatever I say still goes, because this is still MY space…last time I checked, it still IS, so…

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Filed under Crime & Punishment, Cyber-Bullying

Murdered by Bullies, How the “Online Community” Can Exacerbate to the Situation that Caused a Boy to Commit Suicide

“Murdered” by B-U-L-L-I-E-S, indirectly, of course, found on MSNBC.com

The family of a 12-year-old says the boy had been teased about his father’s death before the child killed himself. WNBC-TV’s Roseanne Colletti reports.

In the BIG APPLE, a 12-year-old boy harassed by school bullies about his intelligence, his height and his deceased father killed himself in the New York City apartment he shared with his mother, according to relatives and those who knew him.  Joel Morales, of East Harlem, moved to a different school after enduring incessant taunting for months, but the bullying persisted, the fifth-grader’s family said.

Kids chased Morales, threw sticks and pipes at him and teased him for his smarts and his 4-foot-9 stature, his family said.

Morales’ anguish reached a breaking point when bullies taunted him about his father, who died when he was four years old, according to relatives.

His mother, Lisbeth Babilonia, found him hanging in their apartment at about 11:30 p.m. Tuesday, hours after she had organized a search party when he didn’t return home on time from an after-school club.

An occupational therapist who worked with Morales at one of the schools because of his diminutive size told NBC 4 New York the boy only reluctantly talked about his problems.

“It was very difficult, especially with a child like Joel who wants so badly to please everyone, to see that he was really in pain, that he was struggling,” said Maria Ubiles.

Arlene Gago, a youth minister from a church group, said she spoke with Morales regularly at the Jefferson Houses where he lived but never knew of his distress.

“I always asked him, ‘How you doing? How’s school?'” she said. “We talked but he’d never tell me what was going on.”

A classmate told Morales’ family that the boy had said he was tired of the bullying and told them the details of the remark about his father that sent him over the edge.

And, this article got 82,000 KUDOS from those who “visited” the NEWS SITE, believe it or don’t, are you FUCKING (oopsy, my B-A-D, and NO, that still won’t be the VERY LAST time I EVER use that sort of a FOUL language either!!!) kidding me?  And, sure enough, there WERE people who cared about this young lad, but, not enough, because hey, guess what, as teenagers, we have a TENDENCY to NOT tell our parents what’s going on with us, (hello, hello, hello, remember those RAGIN’ HORMONES, and the DEFIANCES???).  This just shows Y-O-U how CRUEL your kids’ cohort (look THAT word UP if you don’t know what IT means, I do, so that would be W-H-Y I’m using it!!!) can be, and, when they find a small hint of you being different, they’re gonna T-A-U-N-T you, make you feel like you need a HOLE in the ground to bury yourselves into, and, if that’s not hard enough for your offspring, they still have to get STUCK between the two of you, STUPID adults who are currently SLAVING your lives away, simply to P-R-O-V-I-D-E for them, and wow, they never even mumbled a simple “thank you, mom or dad”?  What a BUNCH of ingrates!!!

And, just because someone is smaller (in physical size) than Y-O-U, that still does NOT give you the right to push and shove them, “children”, because who’s to know IF when they’re older and have kids of their own, their own offspring won’t PUSH and SHOVE your offspring, because everything still goes around, and around, AND around like those Wheels on the B-U-S???  And, what GOES around WILL come BACK around to Y-O-U, and, regret will HIT you so FUCKING hard that you won’t have the time to PREPARE yourselves for what comes N-E-X-T.

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Filed under Bad Behaviors, Cyber-Bullying, Suicides

Where Does Spying on Webcam Gets You? A Thirty-Day of Academic Probabtion

The punishment still does NOT fit the crimes here!!!

A New Jersey judge sentenced ex-Rutgers University student Dharun Ravi to a 30-day jail term and recommended he not get deported back to his native India. Ravi was found guilty in March of bias intimidation, invasion of privacy and other charges after using a webcam to spy on his roommate’s intimate encounter with another man.

Indian-born Dharun Ravi, 20, was facing up to 10 years in prison after being found guilty of bias intimidation and invasion of privacy in a case that exploded into the headlines when Ravi’s

roommate committed suicide. Ravi also was facing the possibility of deportation, but the judge recommended Monday that he be allowed to stay in the country.

Tyler Clementi, 18, jumped off the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010, after finding out that Ravi saw him kissing another man and appeared to encourage others to watch his romantic encounters through a camera on his computer.

Parents of Indian-born Dharun Ravi, 20, react to his sentencing for charges of bias intimidation and invasion of privacy in a case that exploded into the headlines when Ravi’s roommate committed suicide.

“This individual was not convicted of a hate crime, he was convicted of a bias crime, and there’s a difference,” Superior Court Judge Glenn Berman said.

“I say that because I do not believe he hated Tyler Clementi. He had no reason to,” Berman said, adding that Ravi’s crimes were committed out of “colossal insensitivity.”

“I heard this jury say, ‘guilty’ 288 times — 24 questions, 12 jurors. That’s the multiplication,” Berman said. “I haven’t heard you apologize once.”

Ravi’s sentence also includes three years of probation, 300 hours of community service and a $10,000 fine.

Prosecutors said they plan to appeal the sentence.

“While the Middlesex County Prosecutor’s Office did not request the maximum period of incarceration for Dharun Ravi, it was expected that his conviction on multiple offenses of invading the privacy of two victims on two separate occasions, four counts of bias intimidation against Tyler Clementi, and the cover-up of those crimes, would warrant more than a 30-day jail term,” Prosecutor Bruce J. Kaplan said in a statement.

As Clementi’s father, brother, and mother addressed the court, holding back tears at times, the image that emerged was of a “vulnerable” Tyler “shaken by the cold, criminal actions of his roommate.”

“Nobody other than Tyler understood how vulnerable he was,” Tyler’s father Joseph Clementi said. “We are seeking justice and accountability, not revenge.”

A judge sentenced the former Rutgers University student to 30 days in jail and three years of probation for spying on his gay roommate with a webcam. NBC’s Mara Schiavocampo reports.

The family spoke about their long-running ordeal as the media and several court hearings picked apart every detail of Tyler’s last days.

“My world came crumbling apart in September 2010,” Tyler’s mother Jane Clementi said, adding that Ravi had come to Rutgers with preconceived notions about her son.

“He never really knew Tyler,” she said, describing the day she helped her son move into his new room at Rutgers, when Ravi ignored Tyler.

“He could never have known the viper’s nest he was walking into,” Tyler’s brother James Clementi told the court, adding that an apology from Ravi would now be empty and spoken without empathy.

“I love my brother and I will mourn for him every day for the rest of my life,” he said.

The court also heard a statement from “MB”, the man who was watched via webcam as he kissed Clementi. MB described his emotional pain and a combination of embarrassment, emptiness and fear in the wake of Clementi’s death and subsequent court proceedings.

“I do wonder if it has ever entered [Ravi’s] mind that he has caused me a great deal of pain, and yet he knows nothing about me,” MB’s statement read.

Ravi did not wish to address the court, but both of his parents spoke, expressing their belief in the American justice system.

In her grief-stricken statement, which was often interrupted by tears and sobs, Dharun’s mother Sabitha Ravi told the court his son’s life and health have been devastated by the events that occurred over the past 20 months.

She said her son now only eats one meal a day, and has lost more than 25 pounds.

“He was absolutely devastated and broken into pieces,” Sabitha Ravi told the court, as she wiped away tears.

“Dharun’s dreams are shattered and he has been living in hell for the past 20 months,” she added, hugging her son after finishing her statement.

Dharun Ravi also cried.

“Contrary to the false propaganda, we are not a homophobic family,” Dharun’s father Ravi Pazhani told the court. “Dharun was not raised to hate gays.”

And, believe it or don’t, these Indian (and no, race has NOTHING to do with it!!!) parents still believed that their son didn’t do anything wrong, are you FUCKING kidding me, hello, he CYBER-BULLIED his roommate, and, it doesn’t matter IF you’re currently PUNCHING each other down, and RUBBING their noses in dirt, or texting bad things about each other, GIRLS, bullying IS bullying, and, everything had gone online, and, this young gay man, does he deserve to die like he had?  Or, could you simply call him a “strawberry”???  I dunno, what do Y-O-U think?

Hate crimes are still happening, and, this time, it HIT one of your neighborhoods, and that, is why you are reacting so freakin’ strongly about it, but, had it not happened in the Good Ol’ Glory, and nobody’d died, would this case have been so “publicized”?  I think N-O-T!!!

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