Monthly Archives: November 2013

A Sea of Mistakes

A sea of mistakes, I find myself in, and the waves grew strong, and they took me under, and I couldn’t swim, took a few very large gulps of water, and then, everything went B-L-A-C-K!!!
A sea of mistakes, everybody’s seen it, and, some had even, unknowingly, TOOK a dive into it.  A sea of mistakes, I’d seen those ships get taken by those HUGE tidal waves, and that, is why I’d decided to stay on dry land.

A sea of mistakes, you’d swum in for so long, that you now think, that the sea of mistakes isn’t really mistakes at all, you were misled into believing, that they’re nothing MORE than just little mishaps in your lives, but they’re actually not.

A sea of mistakes, how can you swim your way out from it, you’d wondered, how can you make it all right again?  You can’t, you MUST suffer, inside this sea of mistakes of your own making, and you still cannot blame me, for NOT throwing you that floatation device that you can grab a hold onto either.

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Filed under Hindsight, Life, Perspectives, Stupidity, Writing

Prolonged Suffering

The question is, IF you could end it, would you?  If your loved ones got so freakin’ ill, that the quality of life drops to next to ZERO, what would be the purpose, of keeping them alive?  And would it NOT be considered UNFAIR to the sick?  What would they want you to do?
Prolonged suffering, when it can be ended, why not?  Oh yeah, because it wouldn’t be RIGHT, for us (any of us, actually!!!) to DECIDE when to END someone’s life, right?  But, think about it, what IF your loved ones got sick?  To the point that breathing becomes too difficult, that the ONLY way for them, to live OUT the remainder of their years (however long that may be) is by getting CONNECTED to tubes, would you want that, on your loved ones?

There’s NO point, in prolonged suffering, and, just because you can still EAT, drink and perform ALL the “normal functions” of your lives, still doesn’t meant that you WANT to be KEPT alive, after all, you ARE the one who’s ill, and the rest of the OUTSIDE world knows SHIT about what you’re going through, including those who are closest to you, your families.







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Filed under Despair, Old Age, Rationalization, Social Issues

He Grew Thinner by the Day

He grew thinner by the day, as the cancer ate him away, and, ALL we could do, was to stand by, and watch him die.  He grew thinner by the day, toward the end, he didn’t even have enough strength to lift up his head, or to get up, as we walked into the house, he just stayed LIMP on the floors.

He grew thinner by the day, and, it pains me to watch him wither away like that, but I couldn’t find it in my heart, to be cruel, and put him to sleep.  He grew thinner by the day, and, in the end, he breathed in his very LAST and FINAL breath, and that, was the end, of his suffering.

He grew thinner by the day, in the end, he’d become NO more than a skeleton of a man, and, his family couldn’t do anything about it, all they could, was to cover their mouths, and sob silently, as he was lifted to the mortuary………

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Filed under Despair, Life, Writing

Spend These Last Days

He will be spending these last days in peace, just waiting for death to come claim him, he has NO regrets, he’d lived a full life, but for the rest of us, we still felt that time is running out.

Spend these last days, how will you?  Will you start looking back, and see ALL the faults of your ways, and, you’d be reminded of the mistakes you’d made, and you still couldn’t make it all right again, because time HAD passed.

Spend these last days, I will, accompany you, my love, you will NOT be alone, I will be holding your hands, as the angels’ come and claim you, and then, you’d be able to leave your ill body behind, and finally, be F-R-E-E.

Spend these last days, I am NOT going to spend these last previous days with you, CRYING my eyes out, because losing you IS an inevitability.  Spend these last days, having fun with you, because I WILL make it my goal, to give you the BEST time of your life, NO matter how short it will be.

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Filed under Despair, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, On Death & Dying

An Evening in Spring, a Poem


In the atmosphere resembling the sugary sweet waters

I’d announced to you, that the tones of the butterflies

Had found a dress in a warm color

On the waist, there is a cunning little snake

On the shoulder and neck, a tongue that talked sharply

Slowly, gently, rolling along on the lotus leaves

Like the color of the moon in your dreams

And so, this, is still very beautifully written, isn’t it???






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Filed under Translated Work, Writing

If You’re Afraid of Being in the Shadows, Why Not Turn Your Faces Toward the Sun?

The wisdom of life, translated…

I’d gone with Xiang who’s troubled to a lecture, the Yi-Ching instructor used Chinese and Taiwanese, to make the wisdoms of the ancestors simpler for us to understand, hoping that we can use it well in our daily lives, to help us resolve the issues we face.

The instructor told an example, a friend came to him with a worried face, said that his forty-five year old eldest brother passed away very abruptly, asked him to look after his two high-school aged sons, but he is not yet married, he feared, that the two kids may become what kept him single for a very long time, and so, he’d started worrying.  The instructor thought that he was very lucky instead, lucky to have the kids to accompany him, that he didn’t have to deal with them as babies; that he could enjoy family life, but without the restraints of marriage.  On top of that, the children are already in high school right now, in a couple of years, they’d be independent and can take care of his elderly years too, it’s so wonderful!  That he shouldn’t just see the troubles at hand, that he needed to think about the good side too.  And, my friend, hearing the lecturer, all of a sudden, he’d let it go and became happy.

Worries will drain the energies of life, and worries, along with depression, and pressures, these would all increase the chance of one having cardiovascular disorders, plus over eighty percent of what you worry about won’t even happen, so, why worry?  The lecturer said, if you’re afraid of the shadows, then, why not turn your face toward the sun, those shadows will disappear, all on their own.

Xiang and I chewed over the lecturer’s words, recently, she’d worried constantly about her children, her son couldn’t find good work, so he’d stayed at home, and she couldn’t help but nagged him a bit, the son left, and didn’t call her at all, she’d worried that he might starve.  As for her daughter, she’s around marriage age, but, she’s staying single, she didn’t dare push her, fearing that her daughter might run off, just as her son had done.  But, there’s this unidentified worries inside of her, constantly, burning on the inside, and so, she couldn’t live happily.

Children will have their own fortunes, no news means good news.  I’d told her EVERY single kind of consolation I can possibly think of, but Xiang is still troubled, I couldn’t anticipate, that her, coming to the lecture, would be so opened up.  She’d told me, “It’s fine, I won’t worry now!  After all, over eighty percent of the worries don’t ever happen, I guess I’ll take the I-Ching instructor’s words then!”

The instructor also said, that since a woman becomes a mother, she would give her daughter commends, but forget to reward herself, so, Xiang and I decided to treat ourselves well, to take ourselves OUT to a restaurant, then, we will go and pick out that brand new outfit that we’d had the eyes on for so very long, but wasn’t willing to spend the money on from before.

And so, it still all starts with just Y-O-U, you must treat yourselves well, otherwise, NOBODY else would, and, it is natural, for parents to worry about their offspring, but, you have to know, that everybody has her/his own life path to follow, and, whatever happens, is going to happen, so, STOP worrying already!!!

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Filed under Expectations, Family Matters, Old Age, Perspectives

De-Criminalizing Adultery

The debate is still ongoing here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Justice Department held a hearing on the de-criminalizing cheating, and the majority of the votes were for how the people who are for de-criminalizing cheating, stating that stepping into marriage doesn’t mean giving UP the right to one’s own bodies, and that the ones being sued were mostly women, meaning that the law was punishing women for the infidelities solely; the people who are against it believed that if cheating became a criminal offense, then, it would have the ability to prevent the extramarital affairs, and to maintain the value of families, “Everything for the children, the children are everything.”

This March, the International specialist came to investigate if this country is breaching into the citizens’ private lives, and if it was violating the people’s right to privacy, suggested the government to toss out the punishments of cheating people, because it didn’t match up to the 17th rule of “the International Pact for Citizens and Politics”.  But the justice department did its own survey just this April and May, and found that people here who were sampled showed 82% against the decriminalization and 77% percent against it respectively.

The secretary of the Women’s New Knowledge Foundation, along with a lawyer, Lin believed that de-criminalizing infidelity doesn’t help out a marriage, that the ones being sued in these cases were women in majority, because they didn’t know that the ones they’re with are already married; and the men became the plaintiff’s witness, stating that the “spare” was the one who slept with him; and the laws against adultery is merely a weapon that the first wives can use against the spares, for the sake of getting even.

A female attorney stated that from her experiences of taking cases of adultery, the first wives normally dropped the charges because they wanted to give their kids a complete home to grow up in, and so, they’d all sucked it up.  She suspected, that the women’s organizations being against de-criminalizing adultery is fighting for sexual rights and sexual freedoms, but, is it necessarily good for the nation?
And so, should we, or should we NOT treat adultery as a crime?  I mean, other than feelings that are damaged, what else was taken?  Oh yeah, the trust, the family will totally get BROKEN up, and, what OF the “victims” of the cases, the CHILDREN, after all, you DO know, how they’d be the ones, suffering the most, in that mess, don’t you???  And no, I don’t believe, that adultery should BE de-criminalized, but that’s just my opinion, so…


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Filed under Awareness, Crime & Punishment, Divorce Rates, Family Matters, The Constitution

A Little Empathy, Turning a Daughter-in-Law into a Daughter

Guess WHO here had made the FIRST move???  Uh, D-U-H, it’s the, uh, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, oh yeah, MOTHER-in-LAW!!!  Translated…

One day, in my book club, everybody started talking about topics related to family, at which time, someone whom Xiao-Yu knew very well blurted out, “A daughter-in-law like Xiao-Yu is truly hard to come by.  After your husband passed away, you’d still gone back to your in-laws to take care of them, you are a hard-to-come-by good daughter-in-law that’s for sure!”

And, everybody couldn’t help but feel all too curious, the beautiful, intelligent, and busy-at-work Xiao-Yu, what possessed her, to care for her in-laws, after her husband had passed away?

At this time, Xiao-Yu slowly told us, “It’s NOT because I’m too kind that was why I’d gone back to take care of my in-laws, don’t hurry to give me praises.”

She then continued, “Actually, the relationships between people all rests on empathy, you don’t know how kind my in-laws were to me from before, back then when I’d gone to visit them with my husband, they’d NOT only prepare the dishes their son loved, but they’d also prepared my favorite foods.  And that made me realized, that they are not treating me, just as a daughter-in-law, but more of a daughter, that, is very hard to fake.”
She’d continued, “Had they not treated me with kindness as they’d done from before, you think that I’d go back to them like I’m doing right now?  I think, I probably wouldn’t!  It’s a wonder, the interaction between people, and, it is a bliss to have good parents-in-law.”
Hearing how Xiao-Yu talked on about how wonderfully she and her in-laws are getting along, it made us all envious, especially the ladies there, all of us wished we could have this sort of a relationships with our own in-laws.

The example of Xiao-Yu and her in-laws, it reminded me of a rule that the leader professional, John Maxwell, “How do you want others to treat you, that, is exactly how you should treat others.”

Even though their own son had passed away, but, Xiao-Yu’s in-laws’ compassion toward her, it helped them gained the kindness and wonderful treatment from a daughter-in-law, who’d now become more of a daughter to them.

Turns out, when you’d loved your daughters-in-law like your own daughters, one day, the daughters-in-law will be close to your hearts, as your own daughters would be too.

This, is a VERY rare case, where the parents-in-law are getting along so well with a daughter-in-law, because the mother-in-law showed the woman her kindness and loved her as if she were her own, and now, the daughter-in-law treats her own in-laws with extreme kindness too, even after the husband passed away.

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters, Tragedies in the World

A Love that’s Hard to Take in

Love still became burdensome here, translated…

In the five siblings, the second youngest brother, at age nineteen, had accompanied me to climb a mountain in Kenting, and on the way home, we’d gone to the beaches to swim, but, he’d lost his life and drowned.  And this, had become the deepest hurt I’d carried.  The sorrows I’d felt for my mother’s sake had become like a nightmare that followed me around every time we’d all gathered as a family.

I’d sent my younger brother to Army school as he was growing up, it helped him escape the fate that my mother had wanted for him, as a car mechanic, but, because I didn’t ask my younger brother if he wanted to be sent off, and so, he’d complained to me on how bad it was in the army, and he’d also attributed the breaking up of his own marriage to everything that’s happened to him in the armed services.

And my younger sister was born, on the year that my father was sent away to prison, she’d been ill a lot as a child, as she’d gotten older, she’d started selling vegetables at the marketplace.  One year, she’d found there to have been tumors inside her uterus, after the surgery, I’d found a better job for her in Taipei, wanted her to give up her work at the marketplace, so her wounds would heal up properly.  After a few years of office work, she’d returned to her original profession, and said to me, “You’re so bossy, without considering how others feel about it!”

My youngest sister, at age eighteen, decided that she’s going to high school, she’s now, living in my house, she part-timed through college, I treated her as if she was my own child, I’d treated her well, only she validates me in helping them out, and now, she’s already in her forties, and, as she’d wanted something from me, I’d handed it to her, but sometimes, she was so ungrateful, and that, was when I realized, that I’d overdone it again.

My youngest brother too, came to Taipei, to finish his community college years, as his eldest sister, my worries for him was nonstop, I’d wanted to meddle in everything he’d had troubles with, in the end, I’d gotten a TON of pressures on myself, and I’d get agitated when I’d talked to them.  I thought I loved my younger siblings, but, recalling back into the past, all they’d shown toward me was fear, and I can’t recall any good things they’d said about me at all; even though, I’d thought on their behalf, but, I couldn’t get their thanks.

Recently, I’d had a conversation with my younger sister, and she’d given me an advice, “We all have our stable life now, and we’re all old enough, you can let go now.”  Turns out that my care and concerns for them had become an unspoken pressure in their lives, I truly hope, that I can still patch things up with them.

And this, is still due to how the children grow up, and, the reason why this sister is overly caring about her younger siblings is probably due to how her second brother had drowned, and she felt that she hadn’t done anything to help save him, and, that translated into how she started taking care of ALL of her siblings without realizing, that they may NOT need her to do so, and that, is why, the younger siblings all felt the pressures from the eldest sister.

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Filed under Family Dynamics, Family Matters

A Twelve-Year-Old Child Didn’t Enroll into School Yet, Turns Out He’d Been Dead Already

There WAS a previous and very similar case to this one from here, awhile back, remember???  From the newspapers, translated…

A twelve-year-old child, Chiu who still had yet to register for school, the district offices notified the police to check it out, the police found, that he had died when he was just two-years-old, his body was buried, in an abandoned burial site; the district attorney’s office did a polygraph on both of the parents, and they’d shown negative results, and so, the police ruled out murder and dumping his body.  But the parents knew how weak the little boy had been, and still, they’d left him at home to die, and they’re now charged with negligence.  But because the statute of limitation had already expired, the D.A. decided to drop the case yesterday.

The D.A. found, that the thirty-two year old Chiu had a baby with her live-in boyfriend, Huang (age 33), and didn’t register the son, the offices helped filed the papers, and used the mother’s maiden name as the child’s last name; but because Chiu hadn’t enrolled in school since he was seven years old, the people at the county office told the police, and the police thought that something wasn’t right.

They’d chased Chiu and Huang down, and found out, that the child had died since 2004, that was a liquor store employee, “Bo” who’d helped them find a funeral home to arrange the burial of the child, and the place they’d buried the body was at a public cemetery, a tomb, where some other dead bodies were dumped, this May, the police opened up the tomb, and found the child’s body, along with the quilt that he was wrapped in, a pacifier, dolls, and a few bags of snacks.

The police talked to the coroner, and all that remained of the child’s body was the bones, and the cause of death can NO longer determined, and all they can do, was to see if there were any fractures; and because the other items had rotted away, the police couldn’t determine the exact place where he was killed at, and because of this limited amount of evidence, they couldn’t say that it was a murder.

The D.A. said, Chiu, in the New Year’s holidays of 2004 had a cold, but the mother went out with Huang, to sell foods, and as they’d come home in the midnight hours, they’d found the child already dead.  Without evidence that showed that Chiu was abused to death, Chiu and Huang took care of the boy, but because Huang had an outstanding arrest warrant, they’d NOT only left the boy at home to die, and they didn’t even take him to the hospitals either.

And so, here, we still have???  Another case of NEGLIGENCE homicide, and this, is still ONE more (and no, he still won’t BE the very L-A-S-T of “his kind” either!!!) case where a child was LEFT to D-I-E, but, because the police couldn’t KNOW for sure that there was any “foul play”, the parents will probably just get that minor SLAP on the W-R-I-S-T!!!











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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Lives Lost, Negligence, Negligence Homicide, News Stories, Tragedies in the World