Category Archives: Decision-Making

The Best, Choice

What our decisions, means, from lunch items, extending it to, life choices…translated…

When I was studying in the U.S., I’d lived not richly, but I’d also wanted to see the world, during this hard-to-come by opportunity of studying abroad, I would take the cheap buses to travel, sleeping in the hostels with strangers.  One time at spring break, my roommate and her boyfriend were heading to Miami, they’d invited me along; at the same time, I’d wanted an MP3 so I can listen to music when I exercised (to those of you who are too young, MP3 is a machine that got invented before the SmartPhones, that you can take with you, but with the functions of playing music only).  The trip and the MP3 cost roughly about the same, and I can only have one, not both.

I was stuck in battle then; I’d gone out for exercise daily, with the music, my cardio, my weight-training would feel, way, way, WAY better, and I can have the benefits for a long, long time to come; but, this was a hard-to-come-by opportunity that I had, ventured to the U.S., if I didn’t go to Miami, perhaps, I will NEVER have another chance to go visit there again.  That trip was too perfect, my roommate and her boyfriend were, the best traveling companions, and those few days were heavenly, the most memorable of my life, even after many decades, I’d still felt, that that trip, was one of the best I ever had.  I’m so glad I chose the trip over the MP3 player.

As I grew older, there were, even more choices that presented themselves to me, what was worse, was most of them can’t get resolved with money.  Do I switch track, do I move locally, or move overseas, do I marry someone, do I have a dog, do I have children…………and, behind every single choice, there are, the series of costs of these chances that presented themselves to me, as well as, the risks too.  Toward the unknown, we’d often not know what we are to do.  As I lectured, the audience would often ask the question of how I chose, sounded a bit, passive, btu, there’s only the thought of, “I don’t want to be that person” standard.  Like the Taiwanese idiom of, “looking outside the bowl to what I don’t have”, maybe?  They may have selected one path, but, they hated that life.  Some loved living out of country, but due to their visas expiring, or that they had to take care of their elders, forced back into Taiwan to live; some have a job, but they’d hated it, and it didn’t fit their interest profiles, they are always in pain, and complained daily about it.

what will it be, which “path” to go towards??? There are, usually, MORE paths, instead of just choices A and B…photo from online

We had all been stuck in that same predicament of don’t want to but have to.  My predecessors always reminded me, “you always have a choice”.  We’d worked overtime, and slashed the time we have with our loved ones, that was, our own, choices; for the sake of taking that job from out of country, we’d, sacrificed our sleep, our own decision; for the sake of money, we had to, work multiple jobs at once, that was, our own, making too.  Honestly, I still, can’t quite understand this thought of “I must” yet, but I’d slowly come to understand, “it’s a blessing to choose what you love, loving what you choose, that’s, wisdom.”

Do you think it’s annoying, having to think about what you want for meals daily?  I’d made a drawing can, with the acceptable by me dining places close to my work, when I don’t know what I want for lunches, I’d, drawn a stick out.  I call this “systematic means of problem-solving.”, hmmmmmmm, well, then, maybe, it only, sounded, better.  This meal I’ll have noodles, Asian or western, nobody can recall three days from today, balanced in nutrition, doesn’t put that damper on my wallets, getting back into the office on time, is way more important to me.  My point is, life is a bitch, our brains can only carry so much worries, don’t waste your brains on something like this.  When you feel stuck, remember, you ALWAYS have a choice; if you can; and if you can, do choose, what’s good for your own selves, as well as, the world too.

And so, life’s full of choices (or so we are all, inclined to believe!), but, do we, really have choices, or, is choice, nothing more than a mirage, or that it’s just, how we choose to look on the brighter, or darker sides of the things, as there are, always, those two different sides, that we can CHOOSE to live on, that’ll, give us, different outcomes of our own, lives…

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Choices, Decision-Making, Life, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Votes are the BEST Weapons Toward an Opaque Government

How WE the people, SHOWED the DICTATORSHIP of the DDP, that we will, NO longer put up with their, abuse, by the votes…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

There’s a very low turnout rate in the nine-in-one elections, reasons are because people took the votes as nothing we can use, to change things, after all, putting democracy into practice should be an everyday thing, not just at election time.

In recent decade, the world’s countries started unifying the standard operations of voting, the four core values included: transparency, participation, review of the government’s actions by we the people, in hope that we can, knock open the door of government, to allow the citizens to participate in setting up the laws, to enforce the practices of democracy in our, every day living.  This seemingly new political movement, is actually, related to our, daily living.

The issues considered by the people in this last election included the matter of purchasing of vaccines, the quality of construction of the Hsinchu Baseball Park, the cases of plagiarism of the researchers in the Agriculture Department, as well as the mayoral candidates, all of these are related to the transparencies of public information.

Starting with the matter of the baseball park in Hsinchu, a stadium that’s not been evaluated for the safety of use, can it start being used, this is directly related to the safety of those who use the stadium.  And, the results of rushing to allow for use, is the risk of the players life.  Like all the constructions that are in our ives, and, often, there’s, that steady stream of information, that didn’t update as the construction was being worked on, and sometimes, people have NO clue what’s being built behind the fences.

Then, there’s the purchasing of the vaccines, and it’s clearly, NOT as the party that was in power stated, “we’re ahead of the rest”, and what’s more questionable, was that the contracts of purchase submitted by the Department of Health & Welfare had been blacked out for most parts, and, there was the clause of the purchases staying under cover for as long as thirty years too, and the statistics evaluation department, demanded that the Department of Health & Social Welfares to be opened up about the purchases of the vaccines, without breaching the confidentiality clause.

As for NCC’s allowing Mirror Media to set up the station to air so quickly, it’s unclear if the higher up government offices had a hand in it or not, the current and past C.E.O. of the station have their separate claims; the Department of Agriculture found the ancient research documents, and started up the investigations of whether or not there’s the infringements of rights………, these cases, not only did NOT help with the people’s interpretations of the candidates in question, it’d put more doubts, and the party in power is the most responsible for this, reason being that the processes of handling the investigations aren’t, transparent enough.

Take for instance, the research hosted by Chang, the KMT candidate for the mayor of Taoyuan, it was the ONLY case of encroachment that the Department of Agriculture had looked into in its history!  How can we not think, that it was targeting the candidate from the KMT ticket?

As for the rights of the citizens, the government has the duties, to show the information that it’s discovered, to satisfy the people’s needs to know.  Demanding the government be open, to lift up all the covers, we would better avoid the cases of bribes, and it can be used as examples to follow in future elections too.  What those in power wanted to keep out of public awareness, there may be more that’s harmful to we the people, hidden in them, while, the best way to show the government that’s not transparent enough, IS, with our, votes!

And so, this was, exactly what WE the people had done, we’d, VOTED the DDPs out of the majority of the local government offices this time around, because of what happened with the DDP, how it’d, screwed us over, and, we are still, getting the party back, for ALL who’d died, due to the delayed purchases of the vaccines, of how the DDP is making us eat poison from other countries, making this country’s people into everybody’s BITCH, well, guess what, we the people will NO longer put up with the abuse by our government, that, was what this last local election showed.

Leave a comment

Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Abuse of Power, Basic Human Rights, Decision-Making, Life, Properties of Life, The Constitution, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

When Death is the Only Gift I Can Give to You

Death is, the only gift I can, give to you, love!  I don’t want you to, suffer anymore…

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, I can’t!  I just, can’t bear the thought of, losing you, it’s, too painful!  When death is the only gift I can, give to you, because you’re, in so much pain, and you’d, become, reduced, to less than you were, from when you were still, healthy, happy, and free, and now, you got, trapped, inside this, sick little body of yours, growing weaker by the day!

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, will I be able to, just, let go, of my love for you, knowing that, you’d be, better off, DEAD?  And, how can I, say goodbye to you, my love, after we’d, shared, so many years of our lives together, of all that we’d, weathered through with each other, huh?

like this???查看來源圖片photo from online

You’re, asking too much of me, and I just, can’t!  I can’t, let you go, you mean too much to me, I can’t, lose you, it hurt, just, thinking about it!

When death is the only gift I can, give to you, then, I will, force myself to give you just that, because, I will, NEVER allow you, to suffer, like someone I used to love, suffered, before he was, put down!

So yeah if death turns into, the only gift I can, give to you, then, I shall, give it, and nobody says SHIT about it!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Choices, Decision-Making, Despair, Euthanasia, Life, Loss, Properties of Life, Right to Die, the Finality of Life

The Police Shot Five Times Toward a Car Whose Driver Was Intoxicated, Driving Drunk, the Female Passenger Was Killed

An innocent life that’s lost, in the crossfires!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Bade Substation of Taoyuan Police two nights ago, stopped a car that’s, illegally parked on the streets, the driver, Wu was suspected of being intoxicated, refused to get pulled over, in the pursuit, Wu had backed up his car, and rammed into the squad cars twice, the assistant station manager, Tseng of the Bade Substation saw it was an emergency situation, he’d fired off five shots to make the driver stop, the police was firing into the tires, but, three of the shots pierced through the metals, and got into the car, shot the female passenger on the back, Yang, she was injured in her left shoulders, left thigh, she’d died on the way to the hospital.

During the interrogations, Wu (age 50) showed a 0.49 breathalyzer test, Wu stated how he was drinking, and felt that he might get caught for drunk driving that was why he drove away in the car.  Wu is a skilled worker, the deceased, Yang, is a counter clerk of a shop, as she was shot, Yang’s boyfriend was sitting, right next to her.

Because there may have been excessive force used, the district attorney already, interviewed the assistant station manager, Tseng, and, clarified the circumstances under which the gun was, fired, and sent him back to his post afterwards, the two other officers in the same patrol car were also, interviewed as persons of interest, and, sent back after the interviews, the driver, Wu, is being interrogated, overnight.

The Bade Substation stressed, that they will, do everything they possibly can, to help with the final affairs for the family, and, Tseng, the male officer was listed as person of interest, early yesterday evening, the D.A. examined the body of Yang (age 36), an autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow; Yang’s families stated, that if the police were at fault, they are going to go to the courts.

The police chief of Taoyuan, Chen stated, that the city police chief inspector’s office is already looking into the matter, the police will comply with all the details of the requests made, to sort through everything, and if the member of the police was at fault, he will let it go to the laws, and if there’s no fault on the police’s side, he will, support his fellow police man too.

At 11:41 late last night, the Bade Police Substation sent out three officers to patrol the streets, as they passed Jie-Shou Road, Section 2, there was a silver sedan that’s, illegally parked, the police announced on the loud speaker, for the driver to pull over, but the man who drove the car accelerated, and the police were in pursuit.

As the police chased the car, the officers kept using the loud speaker, demanding the driver to pull over, but Wu refused to comply, as he drove to the end of the 422 Alley of Jien-Guo Road, Wu saw that there’s, no escape, and wanted to, back out, he’d, hit the car that’s parked, saw the police behind him, backed into the squad cars twice, and on the third time, it still, didn’t work, the assistant station manager, Tseng got out, fired into the back five times, but Wu still refused to pull over, still drove toward Jie-Shou Road to escape.

The officers, in the end, managed to finally stop Wu’s car two kilometers out, at the Jie-Shou Guan-Fu Intersections, as the officers checked into the car, they’d found Yang shot, by the time the paramedics arrived, Yang was already, out of consciousness, her upper body limp outside the car, as she was rushed into the St. Paul Hospital, because of her severe injuries, she was sent to Changgang Hospital in Linkou, and she’d died from losing too much blood, early yesterday morn she was pronounced, dead.

Based off of understanding, Wu had two other men and one woman in the car with him, all were his friends, two nights ago, the group gathered at the mutton hotpot to gather, had some drinks, they’d broken up the party close to midnight, Yang and her boyfriend originally planned to take a cab, but got into Wu’s sedan, and, ended up getting shot accidentally.

And so, this, is tragic, another, wrong place at the wrong time sort of thing, because if this woman didn’t get into the man’s car, and the man didn’t start speeding up his car, try to evade the police checks, then, she may still be, alive!

Leave a comment

Filed under Cost of Living, Death by Negligence, Decision-Making, Hindsight, Issues of the Society, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Lives Lost, News Stories, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Unsafe Neighborhoods, Violence in the Media, Wrongful Deaths

Outside the Abortion Clinic…

Outside of the abortion clinic, you see people, holding those, pro-life, and pro-choice signs, and your bodies are still, NOT yours, it was, NEVER yours to begin with!!!

Outside of the abortion clinic, the crowd gathers, to protest the clinic’s god-defying action, with, absolutely, NO sense, of how this FUCKED up matters are, caused by M-E-N.  And you’re, protesting G-O-D???

this, is what you’ll, see…查看來源圖片photo from online

Outside the abortion clinic, the crowd parted like the Red Sea, on one side, was the men who are, PRO-LIFE (you mother fuckers aren’t the ones going through the FUCKING pregnancies, what right have you to say, huh???), and on the opposite, there are, the PRO-CHOICE women (it’s our bodies, our rights!!!).  But, do we really, have a right over, our bodies?  I mean, think about it………

Outside the abortion clinic, the crowds are, getting rowdy, and then, in an instant, windows shattered, death took over the air, and there’s, still NOTHING that anybody CAN do, because a woman has the right, over HER body, doesn’t she?  Or, must we women, be ruled by, M-E-N???

Outside the abortion clinic, pamphlets are, flying, fires started everywhere, it looked like, Armageddon, the world, on the verge of, destruction, and yet, where is, G-O-D, in all of this, huh?  If God exists, why didn’t he, stop this, atrocity, tell me!

Leave a comment

Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Awareness, Basic Human Rights, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Children Murdered, Children that Didn't Have to Die, Choices, Decision-Making, Government, Policies, & Politics, Issues of Morality, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Life, Moral Responsibilities, Observations, Perspectives, Pro Life vs. Pro Choice, Properties of Life, Right to Life, Soup of the Day, Values, Women's Issues

Leaving One Last Play Behind

An example of how to set up, one’s own, final assets, regarding the divisions of inheritances, and one’s own, final care too!  Translated…

In the past, we were, coworkers, AND rivals too.  I’d, hated how she’d, talked trash about me in her conversations, but I couldn’t, help but feel in awe at how swiftly she’d, handled the matters at work, or how she was able to, realize something way before the rest of us had.  I’ll admit, I’m, a bit jealous of her.  After I’d, left my former place of work, I’d heard, that she’d, switched to working in another company too, and had even, gotten promoted to a manager.  Thanks to the internet, it’d, connected us again, and we’d, started, talking sporadically, about the things that are of, no important, matters.

Not long ago, she’d asked me out for coffee, out of curiosity, I’d, agreed.  The day we met up, she’d, lost a ton of weight, and, her eyes were, a whole lot, softer too.  She’d told me she was now, retired, I’d, prodded, “Would your boss let you go?  Wasn’t he the least bit afraid, that nobody will, fill your shoes?”, she’d smiled and told me, “he had to, because, which business owner wanted, to keep a cancer patient on the payroll?”, I felt that shock inside.  Turned out, she’s been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the third stage.  She’d told her oncologist, that she won’t be going through the extensive treatment measures, only keeping her pain controlled, during this time period, she’d first shown gratitude toward her older brother and sister-in-law, to tell her only daughter that she loves her, that on the road of single parenthood, her daughter, was her one and only, biggest console; and lastly, she thought, of me, wanted to apologize to me, that from when we’d worked together, she’d always, talked trash because she’d, envied how perfect my family is, and how everybody in the office got along with me so well………..

I didn’t know what to say to her, and, all the encouragements, and words of console seemed, excess and unnecessary.  So I’d asked her, if she’d, set up her final affairs?  For instance, the most practical, transferring her assets, the properties and the cash too, I was so certain, that it was to dodge the inheritance taxes, she’d, totally have, already, transferred the money to her daughter’s accounts, but that was, not what, she’d done.  Other than giving partial of her assets to her daughter, she’d, donated some to charitable causes, and, saved some for herself, including the property she now, lives in.  I was so curious, as to why she’d, saved some for herself?  She’d told me she wasn’t, a stingy person, although she’s, dying, but how much longer will she be, around?  The doctor’s verdicts may not be, absolute, she’d hoped, that she could, walk her final mile in someplace familiar, her own, home, and, during this time, she would, need to, spend the money to care for her self, she’d, needed, to hire a nurse to take care of her, that she’d, needed, to take good care of herself in illness.  If she didn’t die, she’d not wanted to, rely on her daughter to help her live, although, the money her daughter has, were once, from her too, but she’d, transferred the money to her daughter’s name, and, it’s, no longer, owned by her.  She’d also told me, “I’d given my child so much, what’s a little inheritance tax on her part?”, it’d, made my heart shocked, such a different sort of parent, this was, the way, for a win-win.

As the shop was, about to close, we’d, asked the waiter to take a photo of us together, we’d said goodbye.  She’d told me, to not ask around about her then, she wouldn’t have any final rites, that tonight, was the last time we’ll, ever meet up.  She’d told me, “I want you, to remember me as right now!”

On the MRT, I’d, looked, at that photo of us, I’d, thought about what she’d said about her “saving a part of her own assets for herself”, I’d felt, that she was, a role model, for how all parents should, set up the inheritances to give to their young, she’d been, an, amazing competitor, whom I’d, learned, a whole lot from that’s for sure!

And so, this, was how well-thought-out this woman was, of planning her own final affairs, she’d, made sure that her daughter will be, taken care of, and, used the amount after she’d set aside for her own daughter’s sake, to donate to charity, and, saved another portion for herself for her own, final care, that way, she wouldn’t become a burden to her own young, and she’d, still, managed, to leave her daughter with something, as well as, help those in need too.

Leave a comment

Filed under Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Expectations, Lessons, Letting Go, Life, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, the Finality of Life, Values

Should I Get a Divorce When My Husband Has an Affair?

Marital difficulties here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: L whose marriage is in the MUCK wrote…

Having known her husband for seven years, married for ten, has a daughter and a son, Mrs. L wrote several letters describing how her marriage is sinking: when L was pregnant with her firstborn, her husband became addicted to porn sites, and was about to head off to a motel with an unknown woman, and was stopped dead in his tracks by L.

In the seven years’ time, disregarding L’s words, her husband used the accuse of getting closer to god, became a spokesperson of god, to help others resolve the issues in their lives; and ever since, he’d given less and less time to his families, and, the two of them are slowly drifting apart.

Last November, she’d found out that her husband had an affair with a married female coworker, not only did her husband NOT admit to wrongdoing, instead, he’d blamed her, for not making him happy, causing him to need to find someone else, believed that it was, ALL L’s fault.

During this time, a lot had happened, L told the female coworker’s husband that she was cheating on him, the husband started becoming verbally abusive, and stated that he wanted a divorce; and, L felt, that her husband had become possessed, since he “became” closer to god.

And now what was phasing L was that the in-laws hoped, that they wouldn’t divorce, for the sakes of their young children; but her husband said, that after they’d split, they will each take a child, but, both children wanted to live with L.  Although she has work, however, she’d feared, that after the divorce, her husband won’t pay her alimony, she won’t be able to keep her kids in school, although the counselor had suggested that L gave the custody rights to her husband, but L didn’t want to, and, everything became stagnant.

A My Opinion

I don’t believe, that L really wants a divorce.  In her letter, she talked of how much the Valentine’s Day present her husband gave to her meant so much, that it wasn’t that he went out of his way to buy it, but it was a gift from the company he has business with, and, she is also hesitant, because of the issues of her children.

L can first, think about what’s LEFT in her marriage, half a dinner roll?  Or, just some, breadcrumbs?  Meaning that she needed to figure out, HOW much there is, left in the marriage, WORTH her working hard over?  And, if working hard can really make her marriage improve?  And, what are both of their attitudes?  And their shared beliefs?

Based off of what I’d read, L’s husband is someone who does as he pleases, and, when he’d done wrong, he’d wanted her apologies, and, that, was NOT his first affair either, and clearly, he’d shown, a LACK of self-control, with a total LACK of disrespect for the marriage.  But L must think thoroughly, is she was willing to give her husband another chance?  Or to get divorce, so she could have a brand new life?  If you continue to engage in the silent treatments, you’ll only end up, draining yourselves dry.

And so, for the sakes of her children, and the words of her in-laws, this woman was STUMPED on whether or not she should divorce the husband who cheated on her, and, apparently this woman CARED a LOT about the marriage, and yet, her husband’s behaviors had let her down, time, and time again, and, this, is clear to see, from an outsider’s angle, but, because this woman is involved in the play of things, that, was why she couldn’t see the truth, that, is why she felt troubled…

Leave a comment

Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Betrayals, Choices, Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Despair, Divorces, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Letting Go, Life, Observations, Obstacles in a Relationship, Perspectives, Unrequited Love, Wake Up Calls, Women's Issues

Those Blurred Out Memories

There’s that file folder, or maybe, a file cabinet, maybe, with those, blurred out memories, that you’re still keeping for reasons, I wouldn’t know.  Those blurred out memories, why you keepin’ ‘em?  In hopes, that one day, they’ll all become cleared up, without the fogs surrounding them one day on their own?

Those blurred out memories, no use trying to remember their contents, they’re unimportant, that, was why you’re minds “deleted” those files, but just, hadn’t gotten around, to clean out the trash yet!  Those blurred out memories, what, do you think you’ll find, when you’d wiped the dusts away, when they’d become clear again?  Are you looking for forgiveness, to be delivered from them, the way that believing in god would deliver you away from your sins?

Those blurred out memories, let them stay blurred out, because, IF you wipe all those fogs away, what you find, maybe too shocking for you to accept, so, just leave it well enough alone now, you hear!

Those blurred out memories, what, do you hope, to achieve, by making them clear again?  And, are you, ready, to ACCEPT the consequences, of finding out what, exactly it is, that they entail?  Are you ready, to discover, what actually, lies beneath???

Leave a comment

Filed under Behavior Modifications, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Life, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Suppressed Memories

After He’d Had His Coffee, the Doctoral Student from Politics University Jumped from the Sixteenth Floor

I wonder, WHAT, is it, that made this doctoral student take that final leap to his own death…from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A doctoral student, Huang went to the Multiple Usage building of Politics University alone at the noon hours, went up to the sixteenth floor, wandered on for a short bit, then, took the leap, to his death; back then, when the members of the public found him lying on the ground, they’d immediately notified the police, and, after the fire department had rushed him to the hospital, he’d still died.  The doctoral student didn’t leave a note, and the family didn’t want to pursue the matter any further, after the D.A. and the coroner examined the body, they’d returned the body back to the family.

The manager of the student affairs of Political University, Ko last night stated, that the doctoral student, Huang had just passed his qualifying exam, the results were not yet posted, and he didn’t show any abnormal behaviors either, behaved normally regularly, and didn’t leave a note, was without any medical records of being treated for mental illnesses, that they couldn’t know, if his death was a suicide or an accident; the school found Huang’s documents by the window of the 16th floor of the building, and, the window can only be pushed outward, to a thirty-degree angle, and you must work hard, to squeeze through it, to get out of it, so, chances of him wanting to catch the views then accidentally fall to his death was quite unlikely.

The doctoral student Huang (age 38) had worked for the media from before, entered into the party affiliated positions this year, he was married last year, his wife was also working on her doctorate in Political University.  Yesterday, as Huang’s mother and his wife heard the news of his death, they both shook in disbelief, they’d cried so hard.  Huang’s mother told the D.A., that Huang had just passed his doctoral exam, and they were just discussing where they’re going to celebrate the occasion, that he and his wife are getting along very well, with no pressures of the economics, that there’s NO signs of him being suicidal.

Because Huang didn’t leave a note, the investigative officers asked the families if they could provide the passcodes for his cell phone, so they could clarify the reasons of his suicide; both the mother and the wife said it wasn’t necessary, that they have NO comment toward the cause of death.  After the officers learned of the families’ wishes, they’d returned Huang’s things and his body, and his cell phone, back to his families.

Based off of understanding, yesterday at around eleven in the morning, Huang had a cup of coffee, as he’d climbed up to the sixteenth floor of the multiple activities building, he’d wandered for a short bit, after he’d finished his coffee, left his wallet, with just his student I.D., the coffee, and his cell phone, climbed out the window, and, jumped to his death.  Shortly after he hit the ground, the members of the public who were out for a stroll close to the school saw, and immediately called it in, as the paramedics got to the scene, he was already dead, and, after an hour’s worth of emergency resuscitation, he was pronounced dead.

So, we can only speculate WHAT, had caused this doctoral student to commit suicide, but, nobody can and will be able to know for sure, because the only one who can answer those questions is already gone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Choices, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Decision-Making, Despair, On Death & Dying, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Suicides

Keep the Defenses of Life


“Mr. Tsai, will you forgive them?  When they’d done wrong, they were still, so very young.”

The big boy, L, who’d voiced this question, is closed to 6’3, he was once the star pitcher of the professional baseball league, he’d thrown a ton of games which led his home team to victory, he’s one of the best defense pitchers in all of Taiwanese baseball history.

But, we’re talking about key points, not how well he’d done, two genius pitchers, one of them, a high school older schoolmate by a year, C, C had once received record-making wage when he’d signed with the Japanese professional baseball teams, and had struck the batters out for twenty-eight games consecutively, became the keeper of the record for “Japanese Pro Baseball Players’ striker”.  Another was T, “He’s a natural born pitcher, a star among stars.”  L described him using a worshipping tone of voice, T was also the very first pitcher that went on to the American Major Leagues.

And still, both C and T got involved in gambling, and, at the height of their careers, they were banned from the games, for life.

“On one end of the table was a gun, the other, your wages for an entire year, and, there was a beautiful woman, scented in perfume, leaning onto you.  When the world used the most enticing things to seduce you, and, all you needed, was to trade it in for a game, no matter how strong your soul, you will take the bait, right?  Mr. Tsai, they were so very young then, will you forgive them?”, L’s heart went out to them, and, my heart started wrenching.

I too, have a ton of regrets, regretting those brand new shiny stars all around me, because they couldn’t defend themselves against the gravities of those black holes, they’d gotten, sucked in, one by one, and, lost their chances to shine through.

For instance, B, who works for the custom’s offices, and M, who works for the police department, their departments had been taking bribes for long periods of time, if they entered into this “tradition”, they can get an extra fifteen days’ worth of salaries per month, and if they don’t, they will be transferred out.  And so, they’d become, “assimilated” and “gotten used to it”, until something went bust, then, they’d not only lost their public posts, along with their good reputations, and they also have that stain on their originally perfect records.  Back then, they’re not yet thirty, they were all once, my good students.

Temptations come in all shapes and sizes, but, they’re all just as enticing.  For instance, what Freud worshipped as God, sex drives, and the desire for revenge from Hamlet.  On that hot summer’s day, my close friend, “Rock”, before them, because his soul wasn’t heavy enough, he’d gotten, pulled in, and, he’d served, behind bars, for eight years for it.

“I can’t believe that I actually got out of there alive.  This lesson was, way too expensive!”, as the class reunited, the past had, stuck in Rock’s throat, “I’d lost my right to an attorney, lost my marriage, missed out on my own son’s coming of age, as I’d entered the prisons, he was still an elementary school kid who stayed close to his dad, and now, he’s a last year high school student.  This class I’m teaching, you ALL must understand!”

Rock knew, we’re all, fighting off temptations our whole life.

“Professor Tsai, will you forgive them?”

That day, I’d answered L, that I would, but, the rest of the world never will.  No matter how well they’d performed on the fields, so long as they didn’t keep the defenses of their souls up, in the end, they will, pay for their own lost battles.

L had once played for the team that’s most involved in sports gambling, but, unlike C and T, he’d not given his soul easily, he was still the pitcher with the lowest “rate of defense”, and so, the beautiful woman next to him, after waiting for him for ten years, decided, to marry him; and, the manager, my student, Renee, was moved by his simplistic and pure soul, after L worked hard, to defeat Korea, struck out ten batters, and, in exchange, for the sport injuries that’d caused him to lose his professional playing career, he’d decided, to keep watch over him for life too.

In a blink of an eye, youth passed by, with a bit of temptation, life became smokes.  And so, I’d treated, C, T, and Rock as the mentors of my life.  I know, that every day, every moment, of this life, I will be, tested by temptation, but, I must take after L, to put my defenses up, and so, in the days that come later on, I will get to, advance.

This, is the understanding of life a person learned from watching someone else’s life unfold, and, in interacting with the varied individuals, the writer learned who he wanted to be more, and who’s a bad role model whose steps he shouldn’t follow, a good way to learn from someone else’s mistakes here…


Leave a comment

Filed under Awareness, Choices, Decision-Making, Innocence Lost, Interactions Shared with the World, Issues of the Society, Lessons, Life, Losing Sight of What's Important, Loss, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Socialization, The Observer Effect, Values, Wake Up Calls