Category Archives: Vicious Cycle

The Thirty-Sixth “I’m Sorry”, in the Workplace

Translated…

I read across a report in a magazine, “the most widely used phrases came from the Zen Master of the era during 420 to 589, in the west, it’d become popularized in the 1850s, meaning those words one said repeatedly”.  In the article, it’d mentioned how those most widely used phrases can have positive effects in communication, that if the working class constantly used the positive most widely used phrases, they would attract those who are similar to them, and naturally, get closer, to success………I’d told my son, since he’d gone into the travel industries, his most widely used phrase was, “I’m sorry”, is this positive?

My son laughed in disbelief, at which time, his cell phone started ringing, it was, the tour guide to Japan, said that two of the guests refused to have the hotpot arranged for them by the tourist agency, that they’d insisted on having pork chops; the leader of the tour worried it might be inconvenient to the restaurant, and feared, that it might be a bad example for the rest of the tourists, called from overseas, to file a grievance to my son, “Your clients, you take care of them.”  My son immediately apologized to the tour guide, then, soothed the travelers, asked them to just eat the hotpot with the rest of the group, that after they returned, he will treat them to the pork chops they’d wanted to have.

from the papers…

Seeing how my son had, lowered himself, as his mother, I felt that he was taken.  But my son told me, there are people from all walks of life, don’t know how many bad customers I’d come across over the years, this, was merely, a side dish, he said, that once, he’d continually told a client “I’m sorry” a total of thirty-six times, after the phone call, he was, completely, depleted of energy.

That time, he’d taken on a foreign tour group, at the information session, over thirty people came, as he’d collected the fees, some paid by credit card, some paid by cash, all of a sudden, he’d become aware, that there was a tourist, Ms. Lee who’d asked to pay by installments, and asked the others, “are there any like Ms. Lee who are paying by installments?” then, a group of people rushed up to him, and Ms. Lee was extremely furious, “What do you mean?  Why did you use my name?”

“Holy!  Could she have, mistaken my meaning that she didn’t have enough money that, was why she’d paid by installment?”, my son immediately realized that he’d misspoke, and told her that he’d not meant anything by it, but Ms. Lee wouldn’t have it, still pressed on.  And my son, who was then, cornered, can only kept apologizing to her, and as he’d counted to the thirty-sixth time he’d apologized to her, Ms. Lee finally got tired of grilling him, turned around and left, and he’d gone back to his cubicle, and, downed half a liter of water in one gulp.

not my comic…

Afterwards, my son received a call from Ms. Lee’s coworker, told him, that Ms. Lee was scolded by the superiors at the office for NO reasons at all, that she wasn’t in a good mood, that, was why she’d taken her angers out on him, hoped that my son can empathize.  My son said, that it was his fault first, that he’d spoken too fast, without taking into considerations that it may affect the way she felt, that he will surely improve the next time.

Although my son said carelessly, that he’d, rolled around the workforce for many years now, and had already become totally immune from everything that happens in the workforce, I can still see, that he was, somewhat hurt.  As for his most widely used phrase, did it have any positive influences?  I’d thought for a long time, and still couldn’t reach my own conclusions, but, you can never be too courteous, if you’re not closer to success, you would be, a step away from failure, I suppose.

So, this, is when one deals with a customer who’s WRONG, but, because this guy works in the service industries, he’d needed to, lower himself, to make his clients feel better, and this woman took out how she was grilled by her superior at work on someone unrelated to her work, and that just shows how low emotional control this woman has.

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Filed under "Professional" Opinions, Belief in a Just World, Choices, In the Workplace, Life, Scapegoating, Socialization, Values, Vicious Cycle

Brought Up that Way

“You can’t blame him”, she’d told, all her friends, as they all showed their condolences toward how she got that shiner on her eye, along with those bruised cheeks, again!

Brought up that way, that, was the sorry excuse that she’d used, to rationalize why he would take the downs of his life out on her!  Brought up that way, excusing his bad behaviors, how long, can you keep on, lying to yourself?  I know how much you wanted to believe in his FALSE promises of how he’ll change, how he will NEVER lay a hand on you, but, by NOT taking actions against HIS abuse, you’re only, getting yourself deeper…

Brought up that way, you’d been, using that, to EXCUSE his bad behaviors, and how many times had he hit you?  Gosh, I dunno, let me C-O-U-N-T………Brought up that way, yeah, so, let’s, examine the situations, shall we?  So, based off of that way of logic, shouldn’t ALL men who were raised under abuse, BE abusive?  But, NOT all MEN raised by abuse are abusive to their spouses (although the occurrences of abuse is higher, than the occurrences of not!).

Brought up that way?  So, I can BEAT the SHIT out of someone, when I feel awful about me, if I saw my father, beating on my mother every single night of my childhood?  Or, can I say those “accidental” hurtful words to you, because I heard daddy, yelling those mean things to mommy, and, they actually thought, that I was, already, asleep, as their arguments occurred, LATE in the nights?

Stop making excuses already, brought up that way?  Yeah, I too, WAS raised up by VERBAL, EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL abuses, as well as SEXUAL molestations, and for that, I’d taken it all out, on my D-O-L-L-S, ‘cuz they can’t fight BACK, so, don’t tell me I don’t know SHIT ‘bout scapegoating here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Excuses, Family Dynamics, Lives Lost, Loss, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Debris of Childhood

We’re all, impacted by this, because they (whoever they may be???) still don’t call it “growing pains” for nothing, do they?  Nope!

The debris of childhood, we’re all, feeling the impacts of the destructions, at various stages in our lives, and for some, because they refused to acknowledge, that their childhoods are so FUCKED up (and your point being???), that they needed a lie to live in, and so, they’d made up this HUGE wonderful lie, that they actually had amazing parents who loved them.

The debris of childhood, had you been impacted yet, I had, my life was sent, on that CRASH course, and, I was tossed, from that rollercoaster called my own life, but, I’d held on, refused to let go, and that, was how I was able to survive!  The debris of childhood, are you ready, to face it, up front?  Can you, handle the truth, that your parents may be like mine: abusive AND neglectful?  Because NOBODY can choose her/his family of origin, that, is why all families of origin is a SOURCE of pain for all!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Being Exposed, Childhood, Children Murdered, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Properties of Life, Things Left Behind, Vicious Cycle

A Good Man Who Don’t Mean NO Harm…

Another “lesson” in SELF-DECEPTION here, if you want to call it that…

She’d shown up late, to a luncheon with her friends, with her dark shades on, and her face is, powdered, MORE heavily than usual too!

She sat down, took her dark shades off, so she could read the menus, and that, is when her friends realized, that there were, shiners, bruises, on her face and around her eyes.

They all looked at her, in that way, you know, like they got something to say, but before the words came, they’d, swallowed them hard, back down, and so, she’d started explaining to them, what had happened to her…

She said, “He’s a good man who don’t mean no harm, it’s just that his best friend got laid off, and they worked in the same positions in the company, and, he’s stressed out over that, because he feared, that he’ll be the among the next ones, to get the ‘boot’, and, being the sole economical provider, if he’s out of a job, then, we’re, ALL screwed!  He’s just, under, a TON of stress lately………”

A good man who don’t mean no harm, but here are the facts, he DID harm you, with his words, his emotions, or with his fists, and feet too, even, and, each time after he’d said those harsh words, used his emotional blackmails on you, he’d always feel oh so god DAMN remorseful, looking at you, with those, sad puppy eyes, and that, is when your god DAMN maternal instincts (and yeah, that, is EXACTLY what’s screwing you ALL over, it’d screwed ME over too, but no more!), kicks in, and he knew damn well that is the way to go too, and so, he’d buttered you up, fed you mouthful after mouthful of his sweetened lies, and, you just, gobbled it right down too (are you god damn FUCKING retarded here???).

A good man who don’t mean no harm?  Yeah right, get REAL, if he IS a good man, then, he wouldn’t have taken it all out on you and your children, would he?  But, because you watched YO mamas, getting BEATEN up, SHOUTED at, by YO daddies, you in turn, learned from watching, and all of this is still ongoing, without YOU being AWARE of it, wow, how god DAMN FUCKING (and no, NO need to “pardon” me this time!) RETARDED CAN you get, ladies???

 

 

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Filed under Abuse, Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Vicious Cycle

The Assistant to the Coach of a Youth Baseball League Molested Over Ten Members of the Team

And no, I still did NOT make this SHIT up, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

There were cases of sexual molestation that occurred in an elementary school and middle school youth baseball team, the eighteen-year-old assistant coach’s rape on a total of ten victims, the detectives, the social services department, as well as the Department of Education set up a specialty squad to investigate in secrecy, after they’d inquired all the students on the team, yesterday, they’d charged Chen, the assistant coach with obstructions to sexual freedom.

“The assistant coach molested me!”, during the middle of March this year, the primary coach of the team asked the students “do you have any comments or questions?”, one of the students raised up his hands, and others followed, and stated, that they were all, sexually molested too, and that, was when the victim students learned, that they were not, the only one who was victimized, the coach believed that this was serious, he’d immediately notified the authorities, and, as the investigations continued, the D.A. and the Department of Education found, that there were, a total of ten children who fell victim.

The victim students told the D.A., that during January and February of this year, at the dormitories of the team, at the assistant coach’s home, in the hotels, Chen the assistant coach had fellated, had anal sex, and, fondled them.  After the case bust open, Chen wrote out a confession, apologizing to his students and the students’ families.

The D.A. found out, that Chen, the assistant coach, because he was an adult, had sexually molested and raped six students, and, after he came of age, he’d forced his students to have sex with him, seven times, and forcefully sexually molested them three time, sexually harassed them twice, the victims were mostly still in elementary school.  As the D.A. went to conduct a search at Chen’s residence, they’d found there was a collection of kiddie porn in his collection from online, and, on the fifth day upon being notified of Chen’s bad behaviors, the D.A. believed that he was at flight risk, and that he may destroy the evidence, asked the courts to take him into custody, which the courts allowed for.

And so, this is a man with priors, and yet, god knows HOW many young victims had there been already, and this time, someone decided to speak up (finally!), and thus, end this losers rape, sexual molestation on the younger children.

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Unending questions of a girl child

Gender Discrimination, Happening, in the Unnoticed Places…

The First Assertion

As I walk towards my house, I see her tottering behind her mother. She is completely oblivious of her surroundings. Her mother is holding her younger brother in her hand. At times she tries to keep up with the fast pace of her mother and at times of her aunt who is also walking along with them. Although the baby is secure in his mother’s arms, no one is bothered if the girl child is indeed trailing them. Maybe she also knows it. Her speed becomes even more. The poor child deprived of nutrition seems weak. She is making every effort to silently grab the attention of the ladies clattering in front of her.
As we reach a fork road, the family turns towards left and I turn towards right, I am bound to think. Maybe I am making things up. But it is evident in everything everywhere that the…

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Filed under Awareness, Discriminations, Gender Inequality, Life, Loss, Observations, Social Awareness, Socialization, Vicious Cycle, White Picket Fence, Women's Issues

The Japanese Teenage “Part-Timing Girls” Walked Along the Borderlines of the Law

Look how easily they’d all SOLD!!!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

On Hara Street in Tokyo, you see an assortment of adolescent girls, wearing uniforms from so many high schools, shoving the small flyers, into the hands, of the male passersby, “This, is what’s called the JK (High School Girl) industries I suppose.”, I’d thought to myself.  Based off of the small flyers, there are, pricings for massages, cleaning the ears, lying on your thighs, carrying on in conversations, with the separate price ranges.

The representative of the Colabo Group, Nito Yume gave a speech at the specialist organizations, estimated that there were, about 5,000 adolescent girls who are involved in the JK industries, “The government does nothing.”, the workers are wandering at the borderline of the law, like when those high school read your fortunes, hears you pour your heart out, and recently, there’s the shops, with the girls, folding origami in a glass room, with a single-direction binocular, the chairs are set up, for the customers who are peeping, to see what’s underneath their skirts.  But, because of the legislations, it makes the police hard to enter into the places, to do a search, to collect the related evidence.  In the whole of Japan, only Aichi Agata set up the bans for these JK industries this February.

Nito, who’d once wrote out her experiences into “High School Refugees”, in 2011, set up Colabo, to offer cares and concerns for girls in the high school level; she said, a lot of people believed, that those girls in the sex industries are from lower economic statuses, but they actually only made up one-third, “the other third was from well-to-do-families, but the students don’t get along well with the members of the families, or the classmates, and, another third came from children from good backgrounds”.  A lot of the teenage girls believed, that they’re not selling their bodies, they’d earned the easy money, working these easy gigs, and at the end, they were, PUSHED into the slave trade.

The way that Nito saved these girls is head to the streets, and strike up conversations with these girls on the streets, the very first line was usually, “You want to eat together?”  she’d told, that some of the adolescents never even had hot pot with the families, or had never even seen their parents cook.  She’d cooked with the girls, and sat with them, laughing and talking at the supper table, to give them a place of comfort.  Not everybody would immediately open up to her right away, some, after six months of hanging out with her had, told her about their own sexual abuses from the childhood years.

Nito said, that unlike how the U.S. would punish those who’d solicited sex from the younger children severely, the Japanese culture had, encouraged the adults, to seek out younger girls, and the society carried the attitude of how it’s the families, or the girls’ own fault”, and even the teens felt, that they’re to blame, so they couldn’t reach out for help.  A lot of the young adults feared getting sent into government facilities, Nito pointed out, she’d heard, that the “protection center’s” workers aren’t professional social workers, she’d heard, that all the children there should not maintain eye contact with each other, no exchange of names, no talking in private, and they go to the bathrooms, brush their teeth, under strict surveillance, “This, is not care and concern, it’s managing”.

She said, “It’s a shame, that those who are willing to show ‘care and concern’, providing them with food, shelter, and work, even afterschool tutoring, are the workers in the JK industries, no wonder the adolescent girls are so faithful to them.”

And so, because these teens can’t feel accepted by their families, and in school, that, is why they’d turned to the first ones who’d offered them that place that felt like “home”, and, oftentimes, those places that “felt” like home, are so far from home, that once they get in, they will NEVER have the chance of getting out again.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Issues of the Society, Issues on Gender, Messed Up Values, Nowhere Is Safe, Properties of Life, Self-Images, Sex Sells, Social Awareness, Socialization, Trends, Vicious Cycle