Category Archives: Vicious Cycle

Temporarily Escaping from the Volcanoes the Neighbors Became a Key Helper to Prevention of Domestic Violence

The ABSOLUTE necessary SAFETY net that needs to get set up that’s for sure!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The associate professor of Minchuan University’s Crime Prevention Major, Dai pointed out, that the American scholars conducted a survey of up to a thousand individuals who bore witness to child abuse, found that a-third of males are inclined to model after their fathers and become abusers themselves, two-thirds of females modeled after their mothers, became victim/enablers.  There’s a lacking of this sort of research data here in Taiwan, what’s worrisome is, that even though there’s more focus on women’s rights, the Taiwanese women still couldn’t break away from the traditions, and, the young children who bore witness to abuse still continued to hide behind their helpless mothers, trapped in fear.

Dai said, the American child neurologist, Perry discovered, that children as young as two years and nine months can feel the conflicts in the atmospheres, and this will affect their frontal lobes, which is in charge of focus and cognition the most, as well as the hippocampus, responsible for interpersonal relations and intimacy.

Dai found that for children who bore witness to violence develop that sense of shame, and as adolescents, they wanted to escape from home, and would act out by becoming truant.  The more the children bore witness to violence, once they get lost, it’s easy, that these children will join gangs.

photo from UDN.com

各縣市政府委託民間團體投入目睹兒關懷輔導服務,社工依據個案年紀等需求安排遊戲治療,引導年幼孩子表達內心感受,也撫平心中的傷。圖/善牧基金會高雄中心提供
the way the neighbors can help keep a child safe…

Two yeas ago the case that shocked the entire society in Chien-Zhen District, Kaohsiung, with the bodies on ice, the ignition point was the man, Ting’s long-term abuse on his wife and children, his wife got so furious, told their son, “you need to make him (her husband) disappear from our lives for good”, and in the end, the mother and son murdered the man together.  Dai stated, that in recent years, the cases of murder by children are mostly caused by domestic violence, the children saw their mother get abused by their father, and, accumulated the anger or in a moment of anger, crimes were, committed.

The Kaohsiung Teachers’ College associate professor, Wei told, that when parents used violence to control everything, the children will learn, that violence is the only way to resolve things, and some of children raised in such an environment become abusers.  The social workers needed to give counsel to those who bore witness to these acts of violence, but currently, there’s only, limited resources the government puts into this.

Dai suggested that the schools, the communities, the medical facilities can all work together, to have a stronger effect, to set up an attachment relationship of trust.  The teachers should NEVER carry the attitude of “once you’re out of school you’re not my responsibility!”, they are the keys to keep the children’s minds and bodies safe.

A lot of people would turn a blind eye to the neighbors’ business, but the protection of children exposed to abuse, the neighbors can step in at the right time, when the parents start fighting, the children can temporarily head over to the neighbors to work on the homework, and the neighbors would do a great job in protecting these children.

And so, because of the prevalence of these domestic violence cases, and children being raised under such an environment, it’s not healthy for the children, this is why the neighbors need to be a sort of a safety net, because if you don’t look out for someone who’s in need, when you’re in need, nobody’s going to care about you either, and it still, goes, both ways!

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Abuse, Awareness, Childhood, Domestic Violence, The Education of Children, Vicious Cycle

A Woman Spied on Her Husband Who was Having an Affair, Followed Him from Taichung to Fujian, Case Solved

Women are great private investigators when it comes to things like this that’s for sure, as this loser still attempted to WEASEL, and he was unsuccessful, because his WIFE is, too intelligent!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Chen found it odd, that her husband often went to China, once she’d followed him there on the ships, and forced him to admit, “I have another woman, with kids” I needed to deal with; she’d wanted to just turn a blind eye, but as her husband had the webcam chats with the other woman in front of her, she got furious, sold the land, and pressed charged against him.  Although Chen’s husband told, that “I’d admitted to having another woman to get under her skin”, but the courts used the voice recording files, and mandated that he needed to pay his wife $300,000N.T. for the emotional distresses.

In 2018, Chen found her husband had gone to China quite frequently, and every time he’d not told her he was going off, and took a ton of cash away, she’d started suspecting that he had another woman in China.

At noon on August 19th, Chen found her husband, after waking up, rushed in the shower, and headed off in a hurry, she’d asked, “Where are you going?”, he’d, dodged answering her, and told her to butt out, then, rushed off.  She’d shockingly thought, that he may be off to China again, and checked and found her husband’s passport gone, decided to follow behind him.

As Chen took her passport to the Port of Taichung, bought the fare, and she’d found her husband for sure; he’d refused to tell her why he was heading over to China, she’d decided to tag along behind him, followed him to Fujian, as they reached shore, her husband told her, “I’m with someone else in China, I have a child too, I need to take care of it.”, asked her to give him time so he can, try to get rid of the child, and take care of the other woman.

Chen was forced to accept it as a fact, but cherished her marriage too, decided to give her husband a second chance. But, she’d found that he’d gone to China again, to cohabit with the other woman, and had webcam conferences with the other woman with her right there, she’d decided that she was done with forgiveness, sold off the land that her husband gave to her as a gift, and sued him for encroachment, and demanded that he paid her in court.

Her husband claimed, that during the time he was away in China, she took up with another man, after they couldn’t communicate, to get his wife angered, that was why he’d lied about how he was having another woman too, but he didn’t.  He said, that he’d lied about the other woman a long, long, long time, that his wife was suing, to cover up the fact that she wanted the assets left by his families to him, to divert the attention.

But the judge reviewed over the voice files provided by Chen and found Chen stated, “it’s you!  You’re the one taking up with another, and have a child too, and you asked me to prove my faithfulness to you, how do you plan to handle this?”  Her husband answered, “I will deal with the other woman.”  Chen stated, “You have another woman”, and he’d stated, “I’d already, broken it off with her…………”, and based off of that, the judge believed that the infringement claims were, true.

And this still showed???  Oh yeah, we women keep on forgiving, and forgetting, while you MOTHER @$!%ERS keep on humping around, with your whores, and now you have an illegitimate child, you still ask us to put up with your FUCKED (don’t pardon me here!) up ways?  And we’re all what?  Just supposed to look the other way, and feel blessed that you LOSERS still come crawling back?  Well, I got NEWS for you FUCKERS (don’t pardon!): we won’t, because we’re all done, forgiving, and we will, NEVER forget, as in, E-V-E-R.  Not in this sort of a serious betrayal.

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Filed under Commiting Adultery, Divorces, Downward Spiral, Everyone Else's Fault, Excuses, Getting Even, Immoral Behaviors, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Issues on Gender, Letting Go, Life, Punishment Doesn't Fit the Crime, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Issues, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

Until the Darkness Swallowed Us, Whole…

Until the darkness swallowed us, whole, we will, NEVER be aware enough of what the darkness entailed, and, by the time the darkness takes us over, it’d be, too late!  Until the darkness swallowed us, whole, until we have, NO more light, we won’t, know just, how precious, light really is, as we’d, taken it, for granted, all this time…

查看來源圖片when this, is all you’ll, EVER, see!  Photo from online

Until the darkness swallowed us, whole, but, that would be, too late then, we would’ve, sunk, too deep, into, that darkened, abyss, to even, get our selves, back out to the surfaces again.  Until the darkness swallowed us, whole, it’s always, until the darkness swallowed us is, took that light away, would we, finally realized, just, how precious, light is, in our lives, but by then, we have, NO way of, getting it back.

Until the darkness swallowed us, whole, until, we lived in the darkness, for a long, long, long, long time, we won’t, realize, just how important, that light we’d, once had was, and then, we can’t, EVER, get it back, it’s, already lost…

They don’t call it HINDSIGHT for nothing you know???

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Filed under Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Expectations, Hindsight, Lessons, Losing Sight of What's Important, Loss, Observations, Story-Telling, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Ambassador of Peace on LINE

Trying to keep the peace, when members in your group are at each other’s throats, when they get on each other’s nerves, what can you do?  Try to mediate, in a round-and-about sort of a way, so you don’t end up, as the common enemies, but it’s, not that easy!  Translated…

My daughter-in-law one day, chimed excitedly, to the Family LINE group, how there’s, a night market close to her home, and the photo she’d sent to the group was a street, lit up with the lights during the nights, with a world of fried food stands, the arcades, I’d immediately replied back, “be careful as you don’t know the quality of oils the owners used to fry the foods, and the kids shouldn’t be allowed to play those arcades, as they may be easily addicted to these games…………”

As soon as I’d typed all of that, my daughter who’s away on another continent immediately added on, “it’s fine that you go and take that stroll every now and then.”  I was shocked, I’d, immediately recycled my message back.  Thinking about this calmly, if someone rained on my parade, it naturally would, make me feel, awful, and it wouldn’t matter if the words that someone was saying to me was right!  I’d, contemplated, and felt grateful for my daughter’s round-and-about-way of reminding me, so I slammed on the brakes before damages are done.

My friend was once the head of a certain club, he’d shared things on LINE quite a lot.  He’d told, that often, as a subject of discussion was opened for debate, some of the group had started, firing those cannons, some, quite stubborn, to one’s own beliefs, some swayed with how the winds were blowing, some agreed to others’ words, and the words were sharpened, ready for war.  The most often was the fight for the parties in the politics, some debated on the policies, some toward the incumbents, and, it’d, made it difficult, for my friend, who wanted to try and mediate between those who are then, engaged, and, he’d, spoken of his “New Year’s Resolution” aloud via LINE.

He’d said, “from here on out, no talks of politics, no personal attacks.  When we have a difference of opinions, DO delete those emotional words, to keep the conversation flowing smoothly, rationally”, and, for the six months that followed, there’s, more harmony within the group of LINE.

getting into an argument on LINE

illustration found online

With the inventions of the high-tech gadgets, it’d, made people leap into an alternative world, the parents are, disregarding the needs of their children more now, and the problems between the couples, the parents and children, worsened, as our heads, lowered to our high-tech gadgets these days.

But, think on it, it’s not the gadgets that are awful, it’s the mindsets of the users, and the timing.  If one can use the gadgets, and not let these high-tech devices control us, then, we won’t become, slaves.  Like how those who’d retired who don’t live with their children, sliding on their tablets or cell phones, sending the messages, their emotions found a viable outlet, and they’re, able to get some news and new information from everywhere around.  Sometimes, they’re even, having a webcam conference with the children and grandchildren who don’t live close by, the comfort from interaction with one’s own loved ones, although they’re, separated physically, but they’d become, more than, connected psychologically.  To the point when there’s an emergency, the high-tech devices are, very good for sounding off the alarms.

illustration from UDN.com

圖/Tai Pera

My friend’s older sister-in-law didn’t get along with her parents, although one live up north, the other, south, they’d still gotten on each other’s bad side over miniscule matters, and, as the two sides were getting heated on the group on LINE, she’d, privately texted her youngest nephew, told him to commend his mother on her cooing, how he’s, looked after so well, so the grandparents who lived faraway, in the southern parts of the island know, that they have a good daughter-in-law.  And, other than posting the messages on how to live well, my friend told her older sister-in-law that her parents had, commended her in their circles of friends, how they’re, so proud of her.  And naturally, the problems between this mother and daughter-in-law pair, slowly, resolved on their own.

Working hard, being the middleman of peace, at first, you may feel, tried, because you couldn’t make the results of the changes you want to see happen faster, but, after awhile, the results will, show.  The communications apps are of various sorts and kinds, with the members numerous, and, it certainly isn’t by chance, that we’d, found each other, in the vastness of the ocean-full of people.  If you can cherish this affinity, and, work hard, as a connector in every group you’re involved in, keeping the peace, for everybody’s sake, as you turn on the apps, it can only bring you joys in the days.

This is on, being, THE middleman, and, this woman has some valid points, but, I don’t, necessarily agree with her on everything.  I mean, it’s important, that you want to keep the peaceful flow of conversations on your LINE accounts, sure, but sometimes, you just, can’t ignore how someone’s words made you flare up, and, if you don’t find a valid way to get the angers you feel out, then, it will surely, damage you, and not just your relationship with that other person.  And yeah, a middleman who will help, diffuse this, lit up bomb, may be necessary in these cases, but not always.

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Filed under Awareness, Being Exposed, Cause & Effect, Choices, Communications, Connections, Interactions Shared with the World, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, Socialization, Story-Telling, Technologies, The Observer Effect, Translated Work, Values, Vicious Cycle

The Night, Withering, Away

The night withering, away, and there’s, nothing we can do ‘bout it, no matter how much we wanted it to last, it just, can’t and won’t!

The night, withering, away, it just, faded, into black, like those, old memories we once hold so very close to our hearts.  The night, withering, away, and, it’s still, tick-tocking, on that countdown of the clock, and it won’t slow down, nor stop, ever.

the night, fading into day…photo from online

The night withering, away, how can we, make sure, that these nights last forever, huh?  Is there, any way, we can, just live inside, this, freeze frame of our own, imagination, and never age one more day?  Because, oh, how I longed, to stay in your arms, forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever………

The nights, withering, away, and there’s, NO stopping this process of time, and, we’d, run short again, as that sunlight, came through those dusted curtains once more, you are, leaving again.

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Filed under Being Exposed, Betrayals, Broken Promises, Excuses, Infidelities/Being Unfaithful, Issues of Morality, Life, Moods, Emotions, & Feelings, Properties of Life, Story-Telling, Vicious Cycle

Naked Girls, L-I-V-E!!!

Like I give a, flying FUCK!!!  Those of you interested in knowing, I got them TITS on top too.

So, why the FUCK (no need to pardon me still!!!), you still, comin’ on to me, huh?  And, you DO realize, that even if I were into that sort of shits, I still, wouldn’t FLASH my “needs” to the “general public”, right?  So, why you ladies, screwing your selves over like that, huh?

And, don’t you got something, better to do, than to, sit in front of that webcam, and wait, for someone, to TURN you on?  This is still, S-H-I-T, if you ask me (but HECK, W-H-O asked you???  EXACTLY!!!

like, this???查看來源圖片photo found online

Naked girls, L-I-V-E!!!  That’s what “we” (don’t ask who “We” are!!!) are, advertising, ‘cuz, we all know this, god damn, FUCKING (like I’d already said???) “market economy” way too well, ‘cuz we (more like me, myself, AND I, collectively!!!) are still, operating on the basic principles of, SUPPLY AND, D-E-M-A-N-D, and it’s just, that even as there are, NO demands, we still, supply, UN-conditionally, UN-endingly…

You have, GOT to be, shitting me here!!!

And, those of you interested in knowing, I’m a WOMAN, even though, I might have, changed my “sex” on my profiles to a D-U-D-E, ‘cuz I’m still, a BIOLOGICAL, W-O-M-A-N here, and no, for the, UMPTEENTH time, I still don’t have the “problem” of, G.I.D. (gender identity disorder anyone???)…

查看來源圖片 and, this, is ALL you’ll, EVER need, to “set up shop”!!!  Photo from online

Naked girls, L-I-V-E!!!  Wouldn’t you like, to come and watch all of us, WHORES, do our, striptease for ya, huh?  And, if you pay extra, we’ll, let you, touch (yeah right, and IN your FREAKIN’ god DAMN, dreams, L-O-S-E-R-S!)_

So, STOP soliciting S-E-X, you BITCHES and WHORES, or ELSE!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Downward Spiral, Expectations, Getting Exposed Too Young, Innocence Lost, Nowhere Is Safe, Observations, Perspectives, Pimping, Sex Sells, Trends, Utilizing the Internet, Vicious Cycle, Violence Against Members of Opposite Sex, Violence in the Media

Why is it Important We Figure Out Where the Virus Came From???

Oh, I know, so these, unjustified, untested “proofs” of statements can finally be, valid.

Why is it important that we figure out where the virus came from???  It’s already been, “released”, and it’s, causing a whole lot more damage that we can contain, and, isn’t it more important, that we quickly, develop a working treatment, so nobody else, suffered?

Why is it important, that we figure out where the virus came from???  It’s already been, “released” in the world, and, causing, major damages here, there’d been rumors, that it came out of a laboratory setting from before, but this latest showed, that it’s, naturally, forming, and, we’re, unsettled on, which one to believe, and as we try to decide which version of the truth is, actually true, many more are, contaminated by it.

So, should it NOT be important, to start developing a working cure for it, I mean, it’s not like, we can, put that, genie, BACK in the bottle, now that the bottle’s been, cracked, wide open, is it?  No.

So why are the leaders of this, “free world”, still trying to, figure OUT exactly, where this virus came from?  I can’t think of a reason, other than, because we ALL need, someone to BLAME for what’s currently, happening…

But as I’d stated before, this is still just, ONE woman’s opinions, on “stuff”…

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Filed under Awareness, Cause & Effect, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Excuses, Expectations, Government, Policies, & Politics, Hypocrisy, Issues of the Society, Life, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Nowhere Is Safe, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Scapegoating, Values, Vicious Cycle

Lonelier than Alone

I’m, lonelier than alone, wrapped myself, in your, loneliness here.

Lonelier than alone, this, was how you’d, left me, and, I HATED it, being so, disconnected, so separated, from the rest of what’s, formerly, known to me, and now, reconnecting won’t be, so easy, been, too out of touch.

Lonelier than alone, you’d, kept me, wrapped me in your, misery, as, misery LOVED, company!  Lonelier than alone, this is, what you’d, given to me, since we wed, I thought I found someone to share my heart with, someone who’s, willing to, give ME his heart too, turned out, he was only looking to TAKE, and NOT give!

查看來源圖片like, this???  Photo from online

Lonelier than alone, I don’t want to be, but, I’d been kept, by this man who said he loved me, inside, this, gilded cage, the confines, of these, four-walled, high-end, white-picket fence prison.  Lonelier than alone, I want to, break free from this, but, I got kids, and I can’t, leave them, NOT when they’re, so little, and still need their mommy to care for, to love them…

Lonelier than alone, I will, always be, with you around, and I still, would choose to be, lonely by myself, but what I got was, lonely with Y-O-U!!!

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Awareness, Being Alone, Being Exposed, Excuses, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle

The Husband is Abusive & Threatened to Dismember Her, She’d Filed for Divorce & the Courts Allowed

A “specimen”, of a perfect LOSER who got into the HABITS of, always blaming someone ELSE for his own problems!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

A couple had been married for over forty years, the husband had abused the wife long-term, and even threatened his wife that he’ll dismember her like the story on the news, after many years of holding it in, the woman filed for divorce with the courts, at the trial, the husband repeatedly stressed how he’d, given it all to keep his family well; the judge believed, that the husband disregarded his wife’s feelings, always rationalized his behaviors to the ideals of patriarchy, that he’d not worked hard to patch up their marriage, signed off on the divorce, this can be appealed.

The wife testified, that her husband holds himself on a high pedestal, did what he wanted to, had often verbally and physically abused her.  She’d originally not wanted to give up on the marriage, due to the years they’d shared, however, two years ago, as the case of dismemberment of the wife by the husband came out in Taoyuan, once as her husband was abusing her, he’d, threatened her on it, “I’ll make you into the woman from Taoyuan!”, signaled that he was going to, murder then dismember her too.

The wife stated, that her husband’s words and actions caused her to be on edge by the day, besides he was constantly suspecting that she wasn’t faithful to him, as the scam artists called her number, her husband suspected that she was, cheating.  She’d lived under the shadows of domestic violence too long and finally had it, she’d filed for divorce.

The husband stated, that his wife had left home for days on end, and, used the excuse of having a new male friend, to not come back home, that he’d focused on making a living to provide for his own family, that he wasn’t like his wife had said.  To keep his family running well, he’d, not complained, besides he’s getting older, couldn’t withstand the stresses caused to his children if they were divorce, or the gossips from others around them.

The courts investigated, that the wife had been abused, and there had been a restraining order issued by the courts, the injury reports from the hospitals, and his wife’s mother testified, that she saw her son-in-law beaten her daughter up, that her daughter had a concussion once from getting beaten by him.

The courts believed, that during the trial, the man stressed on how much he’d loved his family, wife, how he’d, wanted her back, but his actions, showed how distrustful toward his wife he was, that he’d even, physically abused her repeatedly, that he’d not changed his behaviors, and blamed his own actions on the ideals of patriarchy.

The courts pointed out, that the husband disregarded how his wife felt, kept blaming others, making his wife helpless and disappointed time and time again; in the final testimonies, the husband didn’t do anything to prove that he loved his wife, that the courts doesn’t believe that anything will change in their relationships, and, signed off of the divorce.

And so, you’d, beaten the SHIT out of your wife multiple times, and still, somehow, managed to, rationalize your own fucking bad behaviors as love?  Yeah, uh, get REAL here, and thankfully, the courts saw right through that, and saved this woman’s life, allowed her to finally, DIVORCE this, L-O-S-E-R!!!

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Filed under Abuse, Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Crime & Punishment, Divorces, Domestic Violence, Improper Misconducts, Vicious Cycle

I Need You…

I need you, I’m desperate here, won’t you, help me out, come, to my aid, rescue me???

I need you, uh, that’s, nice, but, I don’t, have any need, for anything (instead of anyone, ‘cuz of the “downgrade”???) like you, and beside, nobody was EVER there for me when I needed someone to help me out, so, why the !@#$ (maxed out???) do I need to, be there for you right now, huh?

not an order like this…查看來源圖片image from online

I need you, but I sure as hell don’t, the only one I’ll ever need, is me, and I got me all right!!!  I need you, why?  ‘Cuz, you’re, supposed to, love me, for rich or for poor, in sickness & in health, ‘til death!  And, you can’t, break that promise you’d made to me!!!  Why not?  ‘Cuz you say so???  That’s NOT REASON enough, not for me!!!

So, this ends in then?  Let’s not have this god DAMN !@#$ING (maxed out???) discussion EVER again.

but more like, this, I suppose…查看來源圖片image from online

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Codependence, Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dependency, Excuses, Loss, Vicious Cycle