Category Archives: Marriages

Threats, a Short Prose

How the younger generations still, take after their elders’ behaviors, and, that’s how this cycle keeps on, repeating, itself, nonstop, and all of you still get, trapped, and you don’t even realize it!  Translated…

My mother-in-law has her own way of coping with the hard-to-use electric appliances.

“You get stuck again, I shall throw you out, and get a brand new one!”

“So hard to use, guess I’ll just, go out and, buy me, a brand new one!”

“The XX dehumidifier can warm the quilts up in less than half an hour, way better than this one we have at home here!”

But it’s odd, when these appliances get scolded by her like so, all the problems, they’d, vanished out of the blue, and start functioning normally for a bit, it’s, as if these machines can understand her words, worried of, getting, disposed of.

My wife told me that when she was young, she’d seen it many a times, that it’s, nothing new to her.

And that was why it’d dawned on me, why my wife always, threatened me with divorce all the time too.

Yeah, that’s still, emotional blackmailing, except, that your mother-in-law is doing it to the mechanical appliances, and your wife’s doing it to you.  And, there’s, nothing you do about it, you just, fall back into the cycles of her threatening to get rid of you, you behaving yourself better for a little while, until you start, misbehaving yourself again, and, she threatens you, again, and this vicious cycle still, rolls…………..

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Filed under Abuser/Enabler Interaction Style, Awareness, Family Dynamics, Karma, Life, Marriages, Modeling Behaviors, Properties of Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Wake Up Calls

As My Husband Got, Possessed

The ELECTRA complex, coming full-circle again, and this time, her ass didn’t get, kicked by it!  Translated…

To tell the truth, if my husband got possessed, there’s, nothing I can do.

After my father passed, his things weren’t what I could handle, thankfully, I’d only needed to hint at my husband, he’d, understood me, and, went to my mother’s home to sort out my father’s things with me.  Those things that remained, were of my mother’s, too, and what us, sisters, left behind at our parents’ home after we were married and moved out.

Lost track of how many days it’d taken for us to clear things up, only that my husband saw this, and that, and told me, that we could use them in the futures.  To thank him for helping me out, I can only ask, “you sure?  Don’t stack the items all over the places at home.”  He’d patted his chest, “don’t worry about it!”

A lot of things, by first look, I’d known, wasn’t my mother’s, must’ve been the “treasures” my father discovered somewhere.  My father became demented in the elderly years, I’d guessed at his path to collecting the items, guessed that maybe what he’d, picked up were those, lost dreams of his.  But, I suppose, my husband won’t have those, symptoms, thankfully, all he’d brought back from my parents’ home were put up nice and neat.  It’s, just that afterwards, things became, a bit, weird.

When there were the large items taken out by the curb that’s waiting to get, recycled, my husband would study them, to see if they’re, worth, something, even if there were the parts that he’d found useful, he’d, taken the things apart, and brought it back home.  But he’d not stacked these junks all over the place, so I’d, turned a, blind eye to his ways, and, not nagged him over them.

One day, he’d made him home earlier in his early morning exercises, entered in from the driveway, with a few iron rods on his arms, strutted in like a warrior who’d won some prizes.  Because of the angle of the sunlight, I couldn’t see him.  He’d called out before I said anything to stop him, “You’re only getting up and going to the markets now?”, I got awakened suddenly, “WHAT is it this time?”, he’d stayed calm, “this is good metal, it’s zinc plated, it wouldn’t become rusted up”.  He’d strutted forward without stopping, and, brushed by me, and pressed the elevator button to go upstairs.  And, my useless awakeness, left me, speechless then.

He was about to take in a preowned desktop, and, there were already, the occupants on his desk and I became troubled where to put it, and it was like he’d, suddenly remembered the location of a treasure he’d stashed somewhere, long, ago, flipped out the board he brought from my parents’ home, the parts he dissembled of the machine from the side of the roads, took him two days, he’d actually, made a computer desk with the extensions that’s the flexi sort.  Although, it wasn’t an original that fitted with the computer, but, he’d spent nothing on the parts, and, what he’d made actually, worked, how can I not, hooray him?

One day he’d come home from his walk, and, he’d gone into the bathroom as he’d come in.  I had my back to the door, felt him, stealthily, behind me, but, I was into my book and didn’t care, then, the water running from the faucet in the bathrooms, and there’s the rustling of scrubbing something.  Turned out, he’d made his way back out of our home, to bring in a screen door he’d found.  I’d thought about my mother’s complaints when she was still alive, “your father NEVER dared bring home the things he’d found, and, as he saw me busying in the kitchen, then, he’d, opened the door, to move what he’d picked up on his walk in.”  I’d caught him all right: “hey!  Why are you, moving this screen door in?”, he was working hard, scrubbing away, without lifting his head, “I’d already measured the size, this is the exact fit for the window frame of our front balcony, that way, the bugs can’t, get in.”  that screen door we had, was blown off by the typhoons many, many years ago, and now, he’d feared that the bugs would get into our home, it’s for my benefit, and I should, thank him.

Two days ago on the way home by bus from my grocery trip, I’d stared out the windows to see the views along the way.  Half way up the mountains here was, a man in a white shirt, loose casual pants with his wrists together behind his back—that stature, those clothes, is it, dad?  What, it’s past the month of the opening of the gates of hell, thankfully he’d, took that baseball cap that belonged tour son, for me, to confirm that it was, my husband.  SHIT!  Is it, possessed now?

Thinking on it, both him and my father were, tall men from the north, and both were of the same ranks in the armed services too.  When the left sock had a hole, my husband would switch the sock to wear on his right foot for a bit, then, toss it out, when my father was in his eighties, he’d had me use the threads and needles to patch up the holes in HIS socks too.  He’d worn those two outfit at home, and, always silent at home like that shadow that lurked, and, as they both met some stranger and chatted it up, they couldn’t, stop talking to the unknown strangers they just, met.  Both enjoyed noodles, and traditional Chinese buns, never picky on food, as the purpose of food served the only purpose of satisfying their, hungers.

Did I, use my father as a prototype, and I’d, found my, husband?  And, that figure that looked EXACTLY like my father, who was actually, my own, husband, and I’d, thought about how he was, possessed by my own, deceased father from before, then, my lips, curled up into a, smile.

So, the Electra complex still came full-circle here, we select our husbands, based off of the prototypes of our own father, and we can NEVER escape this, and this woman found the “shadows” of her own father in her husband, and, it’s like she still has her father with her, even after he was, gone, because her husband IS the exact replica of her own, dear old, dad!

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Filed under Because of Love, Life, Marriages, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Theories & Applications

The Most Precious Thing of Our Marriage is the Gratitude We Feel Toward Each Other

The SEXIST belief of how women are in charge of what happens within the household (all the chores are up to us!!!), while you losers (not name calling!) are all in charge of working your nine-to-fives out!  Translated…

Because of my children are growing up fast, they’d gotten a ton of energies in them, and naturally, it’d made me busier at home, recently, my wife had been working in and out, sweating like crazy, and, the accumulated stresses that she’d had, became, that final straw that’s, cracked her, back, one day, she’d gotten furious over something, stated, that she’d been working from the beginning, and we didn’t not only thanked her, we’d, taken her for, granted, that she’d become, completely, drained.  Suddenly, the air froze at home, the smokes are rising up then, without the joys of motherhood, with that added, crisis of losing my, marriage now.

Based off of the estimates of the offices of internal statistics, the rate of divorce was up to 47,888 pairs in 2021, second, only to China, second in all of Asia, while, the age group that’s found to be most prevalent for divorces are from ages thirty-five to thirty-nine, and suddenly, it’d dawned on me, that I’m, right at the highest risk of the divorce groups.

There’s a joke: at age thirty we see others around us marrying, start panicking because we didn’t have anyone; at age forty, we see, that everybody around us is, divorcing, and we’d felt glad that we never, tied the, knots.  Looking at today, less and less are choosing to get married, and more and more are, getting, divorced; the experts and scholars tried to find the reasons behind all of this, and, as the studies, research results showed, it was due to how “one side gave too much, and the other side not being, grateful enough”, it’d made me think hard.

how it used to, be…illustration from online

After we’d fought, I’d started, introspecting, if the household chores are split up unevenly, or that I’d, taken my wife’s giving to the family for, granted.  And further, all of these accumulations from long ago, maybe, it’s, the problems of the ordinary marriages, that we’re always, grateful for those who are outside of the realms of family, but not enough thanks given to those who are closest to us, and giving to us, selflessly.

Thought about how I’d, boasted to my wife, how I’d, automatically, did the laundry, hung them up in the closets after they’re all dried, and did the dishes too, and hoped to get a praise, but my wife was confused, because she thinks the household chores are originally, both our, responsibilities, why was I the one, “helping” her out?  Her words were a, rude awakening, so, I’d, believed that it’s a woman’s work, doing all the, household, chores.

Based off of the study of Harvard University, the 724 adults the school followed up since 1938, as the participants of the study are all in their nineties, they’d discovered, that the key to happiness, is originally built on “an amicable relationship”.  In sum, through scientific proof, the key to happiness is, “gratitude”.

It’s never too late, as they say, first, we must, learn to, verbalize our gratitude, then, act on it, toward the household chores, stacking up at home, we must, work in them too.  It’s never late to save your marriages, start offering one another the verbal thank yous when you were younger, and keep that heart of gratitude, say thanks, do more household chores, you will, live in the marital bliss!

and this, is how, it SHOULD, be! Comic from online

And so, this is still based off of the sexist beliefs of how women ARE, in charge of what’s in the house, while all of you, LOSERS (not name calling!) are supposed to be the “bread winners”, but that may be true, in the CAVEMEN days, these days, we women are also, working our separate five to nines (instead of nine-to-fives), and when we clocked out from our offices, we go home, and work some more around the house, because, if we don’t, then, who will, and most of us preferred our homes to be, neat and, tidy, that’s why, we women are, slaving ourselves, and you men don’t even help out enough, because, it’s etched in your BRAINS that you’re only in charge, of, “winning the breads”.

WAKE up!  This is NOT the CAVEMEN days, when all you losers (not name calling!) go out hunting with your god damn, oversized, clubs, leaving us women at home, tending to the “hearth”…

and this, is what we’re, or should, aim, at!

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Filed under Gender Roles, Issues on Gender, Marriages, Messed Up Values, Obstacles in a Relationship, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Relationship, Saving a Marriage, White Picket Fence

Two Cases of “Untreatable Illnesses” as Causes for Divorce, One Was Approved, the Other Tossed

Reasons W-H-Y, a divorce should be, allowed, by the courts, off of the Newspapers, translated…

The Civil Law stated that of the ten reasons for divorces, one was “with untreatable illness” but, there were the two couples, one in Taoyuan, the other in Yunlin with the wives filing for divorces on the reason because both husbands had strokes and became, paralyzed, and one couple was allowed to divorce, the other, wasn’t, the legal experts stated, that on reviewing over the decree of divorce, the justices would not just see the illness that one party has, but whether or not the marriages can keep going.

The couple, Wang in Yunlin had been married for twelve years, the husband is an alcoholic, later he’d suffered a stroke, became bedridden, the wife filed for divorce on the fact that he can’t get better, she said, she kept consoling with him to stop drinking, but he’d refused to listen, that was why he’d ended up having a stroke, became paralyzed, and so, her husband played a major part of damaging the relationship; and the husband’s legal representative, the mother-in-law, went to court, and, agreed with the daughter-in-law’s, claims.

The mother-in-law told, that her son had been an alcoholic for more than a decade, three years ago, he’d had a hematoma, and became paralyzed and was placed in a care home, that her daughter-in-law wanted a divorce, and, she would be willing to set her daughter-in-law free.  The judge based off of the diagnoses, confirmed that Wang couldn’t care for himself in daily living, that he couldn’t communicate with the outside world, causing the marriage to only be valid in the form, that there’s no way of affirming if his stroke has direct relation with his long-term alcoholism, and so, the courts approved the divorce on “other major reasons”.

The couple, Liu in Taoyuan, the wife also used the fact that the husband had a stroke, and became untreatable in his condition, to file for divorce, but the judge tossed the case, based off of the verdict, the man suffered a stroke two years ago in February, causing him to become paralyzed, and because of the increase in care expenses, plus the woman had conflicts with the means of caretaking, and the assets, she’d started having depression, and wanted to divorce.

But the judge based off of the diagnostic confirmation from the hospital, that although the man had a stroke and is paralyzed, he’s still lucid, and after physical therapy and medication, his movements, responses are, improving, that there’s still the possibility of him recovering, and found that the husband’s conditions aren’t bad enough, that the woman’s not getting along with her in-law’s side of the family isn’t related to the husband, tossed back her divorce claims.

The legal experts analyzed, that the judge would consider on two levels the reasons of divorce was “untreatable conditions”, one, the illness itself, two, does the illness affect the marriage, what’s defined as untreatable illness doesn’t mean that it has to be terminal, normally, it means that there’s no curing the person in the futures to come; as for the untreatable conditions means the diseases that would cause harm to the spouses’ body, like the STDs.

But, with the advancements of medicine, practically, the definitions of the clause needed to get updated too, the highest courts had a newer explanation, that “the untreatable illness” should be interpreted as “enough to impact the maintaining of the marriage, and an illness that’s hard to treat”.

And so, this still showed, that you can’t find your way out of a marriage, just because your spouse is ill with something as these cases showed, that the cases are decided separately, that each case with its own unique situations, and that should be considered.

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Will I, Take YOU, as My, Lawfully Wedded, ASSHOLE???

Yes, we’d, arrived to the SITE of a SUICIDE here…

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  Uh, say that again???

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  Just to make sure, I am, at my own, funeral (‘cuz that’s what all weddings are???), right???

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  To serve for all of eternity, ‘til death do us part?  Taking out that tiny gun I have inside of my bride’s dress right now here…

as they stand at the altar…photo from online

Will I take YOU, as my, lawfully wedded, ASSHOLE???  HECK no!  ‘cuz, for all I know, you’re just, looking to “score” that FUCK, and after you’re done with that shit, I’ll be struck off your list, right?  And, let me tell you something, “honey” (yep, sarcasm’s still INTACT here!!!), I ain’t that easy, and for all I know, of your long track records (since your first WHORE from high school, continuing until, present day I’m thinkin’…), how can I be sure, that you don’t have any STDs, or STIs, ‘cuz I know I got myself, super, duper “clean”, as the ONLY THING that’s ever gotten shoved UP you-know-where, was that ultrasound from back in ’07 here, and, yeah, there’d been TWO men with whom I’d “slept with” continuously up until 2012 to 2013-ish???  And none after that.

And now, I will not, lawfully be “wedded” to an ASShole here still, ‘cuz, got enough of those in my life already, and ain’t got no need for any more, and besides, as a QUEEN, I know that none of y’all, idiots who are still, riding ‘round in this fairytale forest o’ mine, slaying MY pet dragons (and that constitutes as MURDER!!!), settin’ fires to all them wooden cabins, breaking the princesses’ coffins, wakin’ ‘em up before they’d had enough sleep (and we should ALL know by now, how the QUEEN gets, if she didn’t get enough sleep!) already, so…

like the lives animals, getting slaughtered for a sacrifice! Illustration found online

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Filed under Humor/Sarcasm, Life, Marriages, Observations, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Wake Up Calls

Come Back Home Soon, Dad Invincible

As the handyman of your house, is on leave for work, and you can’t wait for him to come back, and fix up the things that are, malfunctioning in your homes, and until then, you can only, manage to fix these items on your own, ladies!  Translated…

My husband was the one called on, constantly in my home, by me, and our two daughters, but this year in May, he’d gone abroad for a trip, and, leaving us three ladies on our own, to, fend for, our, selves, and this would be, a major exam for us all.

The first month he went away, we’re faced with the halting of the in-class sessions, as a mom, I’d had to “shape-shift” into a delivery person, taking the packed lunches to my children at school, and during my lunch hour, I’d traveled to and from home and office, and had to head over to the afterschool care program on Fridays to get the lesson plans for the week that followed, and every Monday, turn in the work to the instructor at the afterschool care program to be graded………this life of, one against two, truly had made me into, a busybody.

Dad, the handyman!

the fixer-upper of our homes! Illustration from online

Then, the phone went out of whack too, we’d first, tried to reset it, and couldn’t resolve the problems, and so, my daughters and I became, electricians, moved the furniture away in our living room and the tables in the bedroom, to make sure that the jack wasn’t loosened, but nothing was up, later, we’d, unplugged the power switch, then, plugged it back in, voila!  It worked!  Then, my youngest’s ancient wii started its strike too, dad was on webcam conference, teaching my youngest to use an assortment of measures to try and resolve the issues, unfortunately, we can’t find what’s wrong with it, so, for the time being, she couldn’t, play her, favorite games.

The handyman was only out of the country for no more than a month thus far, we’d come across the problems that we had to solve on our own, and, it’s five more months until dad is home again, and we can only, take whatever comes our way, and try to resolve them as they come towards us.

So, this is when the man of the house is the handyman, and, now he’s on leave, and you are all, clueless of how to fix this and fix that, but, you will learn, to manage, because you have to, and your husband being away, will teach you all the lesson of not being too reliant on him, to become, more independent, and learn to problem-solve on your own.

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The Woman Gone Back on Her Promises of Marrying, Refused to Return the Six Million Dollars N.T. in Dowry, Lost the Case for Being the Other Woman Long-Term

This is precisely why, you need to, get EVERYTHING in writing, preferable, with a live witness who can sign off on the means, off of the Newspapers, translated…

An elderly man, Lai in Taichung hoped that his girlfriend, Wu for many years marry him, gave her the offers of giving her $16 million N.T.s, as the woman agreed, but not long after that, she’d, left him, and Lai sued the Wu for going back on the promises of marrying him, and demanded that she pay him the six million dollars N.T. out of the total he’d given to her, but, because they’d not set the date physically for when they were to get wed, there’s no way of confirming that the woman had, gone back on the “contract”, the elderly man lose, Lai filed for an appeal for a second trial, and this time, he’d won, the key being, that Wu had been Lai’s long-term spare.

The experts in the legal realms pointed out, that the pact of marriage becomes valid if both parties agreed to marrying, as for the details of the dates and others, no need to list them out in detail, but, for the cases on the claims of “going back on the dates of marriage as agreed upon”, the forefront of this is that there needed to be an exact date set, and, based off of the precedence of the Highest Courts, the second of the seven major reasons for going back on the agreement of marrying, “intentionally delaying the date”, means that one of the party keep on delaying the time of marrying, and the other party will be allowed, to file the claims in court.

The elderly, Lai and Wu started dating back in 2006, Wu was responsible for taking care of Lai’s living means, a decade ago, Lai wanted her to care for him until he dies, and agreed to give her a mansion, as a forefront for her promise in marrying, Wu told her she didn’t want the mansion, that $16 million N.T.s in cash will do, of the $10 million N.T.s, Lai gave her a check for, the rest, he’d gone to pay her the remain six million dollars N.T. in cashier’s check, but later, Wu went off without a goodbye.

Lai claimed to the courts that Wu went back on the promises of the marriage, but because the gifts of six million N.T. was a part of the agreement of what she would receive had she married him, but Wu refused, and so, he wanted the money back, but Wu stated that the six million dollars N.T. were the gifts for her from him, that it wasn’t from the contractual agreement of marriage that she’d made with him before, and, Lai had never hurried her in marrying him, she’d not, broken any contracts for agreement of marrying him.

The judge investigated, that Lai used the forefront of marriage, Wu told that she only wanted $16 million N.T. in cash, that they’d already made that pact to get wed, that Wu is responsible for caring for Lai until he passed that this was, the unspoken agreement, that was the added clause of the gift, Lai also admitted that he’d never hurried Wu to upkeep her end of the agreement, so the judge found that Lai had lost the case.

Lai was upset, filed for an appeal to the high courts, and, the courts found Wu lost, reason being, that Lai claimed he wanted to marry Wu, but he was still married himself, that Wu was the spare, and so, because of how this marriage was against the means of normal marriage, it was null and void, but Wu got six million dollars N.T. for no reasons, and it’d caused Lai to sustain the losses in assets, found that Wu needed to pay back the $600 million N.T.s that she’d received from Lai, the case can still be appealed.

And so, this still just showed, how important it is, to have everything in writing, oral agreements won’t be worth SHIT, because it will become a he said she said, and, if there are no witnesses in the cases, it would be harder to prove if the promises were made or not.  The woman lost, because she was paid the six million dollars N.T. by the man, and it didn’t matter if the man was still married in status, that she was, his spare, and that’s still just, bullshit!

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Game Over, in the, Marriage

And no, there’s no, “extra life” given as a “bonus” either!

Game over, in the, marriage, so, just sign the papers, why don’t you!  Let’s not make this SHIT uglier than it already became.

Game over, in the, marriage, and there’s, nothing we can do ‘bout it, we can’t, shock this already DEAD and gone (not to mention, flatlined for more than, a whole DECADE!) marriage of ours, back to life, besides, the kids are already grown, I know they can damn well, handle mommy and daddy getting their divorce.

Game over, in the, marriage, and, we both lost, because, this is, a no-win situation, don’t matter who wins the case, we still, both, lost.

It just amazes me, how we were, able to, drag this SHIT out this long, well, guess, that the kids are, the primary motives for me to stay in the marriage, I mean, I had to make sure, that they’re, adults (18???) that they have the skills they need to live, that they no longer, needed me, and they’d become, very independent on their own.

like this! Found online

It’s like in that video game we used to play together (yeah uh, still don’t play those!), how the two of you had, battled out the bad guys together as a team, then, somewhere along the way (in that game!), we’d, gone on, our, separate trips, I found my pursuits of what’s important to me, and you found what was, vital to your, wellbeing, and we became, separated.

And this is still, a “no-fault divorce” as neither one of us had done anything wrong to betray the other, and so, for the reason (and there MUST be one, as mandated by the courts, right???) we put down, “Irreconcilable Differences”, but, it’d made me wonder: what the HECK happened to us, to make all our differences, irreconcilable?  Is it the little things in life, how you’d never lift up the toilet seat (go do your business outside, Mr.!), how I always, hogged the quilt at night (Yeah, am aware of doing that!), what is it, that’s, broken us, to beyond, repair?  Or, were we never right, to begin with, but we just, failed to end this SHIT, and dragged both our miserable lives out in this too long?

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Filed under Because of Love, Divorces, Excuses, Life, Marriages, Observations, Properties of Life, White Picket Fence

A Type-A & a Slowpoke

One will, drive the other, CRAZY that’s for sure, and yet, they are, members of a family!  Isn’t that something???  On how the opposites complimented one another, how they work things out, and stay in love for the long haul, translated…

Awhile ago, pops because of buying a car, got the vouchers to stay at a hotel, he’d planned a three-day trip to Kaohsiung with mom, my older sister who is experienced with these things, helped them plan the trip, made a form for them, so our parents can, see everything.

The night before departure, mom started nagging on, “there’s something wrong with the GPS on your dad’s car, I’d told him to go figure it out, he’d refused, I’d told him to have the systems checked out by the garage, he wouldn’t, that day, your older brother-in-law taught him to use the GPS navigator on his cell phone, and I don’t know if he got it down!”, pops half-jokingly replied, “What’s the hurry, huh?  It’s not like I’m going to, drive you off somewhere, and sell you off, even if I sold you off, you wouldn’t be, worth, that much!”, although, dad was able to use his sense of humor, to dissolve my mother’s displease, but, to prevent them getting into argument on the trip again, my husband and I worked out a plan, I’d used a pop-quiz to test my dad’s knowledge of the GPS system, while my husband went to check my dad’s car, fixing up all the problems that he could find with the GPS install in my father’s car, then, set up all the sights to see into the GPS, so they can select at their will.  After this was finished, my parents thanked us, and my mother seemed, relieved.

The two of them are, completely opposites, my dad preferred to go at it slowly, he is fitted for those, French restaurants that served the meal course by course; while my mother focuses on speed, she is fitted for the regular food shops where you go in and eat, and get out, and so, I’d felt, that they were a slow-poke, and a type-A personality, meshed together; but after close to forty years of marriage, they were still, very much in love, and, we the children came to understand, that these minor disagreements that they have, are ways they show each other I love you!

And so, this showed, how the opposites attracted, the mother was quick, the father, slow, and, they complement one another, perfectly, and, surely, there would be the disagreements from day to day, but, these members of the family knew, that they loved each other, and so, they will, work out their differences, in getting along with one another.

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The Paradox of Alimony for Men, by Louise Rafkin

On the matter of alimony, and who should be paying for it!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

When it comes to alimony, the law is blind to gender.  “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, that’s how family law works,” said Laura Wasser, the California lawyer representing singer Kelly Clarkson in her high-profile divorce.

Even though the Supreme Court ruled that alimony is gender neutral in 1979, Wasser said that women have still been surprised to find themselves doling out spousal support.  “What amazes me is that many bright and sophisticated women don’t realize they will have to pay,” said Wasser, declining to comment directly in Clarkson’s case.

Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock, an entertainment agent, split in 2020 after seven years of marriage.  Despite a prenuptial agreement recently upheld in a Los Angeles court, Blackstock has been awarded temporary monthly spousal support of nearly $150,000, half of his initial ask.

In addition to the monthly spousal support paid by Clarkson, Blackstock also receive child support of around $45,000 per month, despite Clarkson having been awarded primary physical custody of their two children.

This might seem like a lot, but according to documents filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Clarkson’s monthly income is $1.9 million.  She follows in the wake of other female stars whose settlements were way steeper.  Madonna, Elizabeth Taylor, Rosanne Barr, Kirstie Alley and Janet Jackson have all paid hugely in their divorces.

Public response to the breakup has not been favorable to Blackstock who on Twitter, has been called out as a “parasite”, and “an opportunist,” among other unprintable names.

Part of the shock over such settlements, according to Alexandra Killewald, a sociology professor at Harvard who studies the effects of unequal earning on relationships, may be influenced by preconceived notions about gender.  “Our culture expects men to be the primary breadwinners and there are simply more options for women for part-time work or to take time for child rearing,”  Killewald said.

Another reason that men being awarded alimony can come as a surprise is because it doesn’t happen that often.

According to a 2019 study of census data by the Urban Institute, a nonprofit research group, half of United States households are headed by women, on average.  Despite an increase in stay-at-home husbands, far more women than men seek and receive spousal support.

So, this is a debate on WHO should pay for spousal support, and, like in Clarkson’s case, the prenup worked in favor of the man, and, the primary thing at work is still greedy, because the man or woman you’re getting a divorce from, is very rich, look at how much s/he is making, I might as well, get more $$$$s from the divorce, that, is why these cases are, occurring, and, prenup is, ineffective here, because, the other party can also, have it, overturned in court, the one caring for the children SHOULD be the one receiving the spousal support, and, if you have two kids, and you each takes one, then, the two of you should pay for the education costs, of that kid that’s not living with you, as everything should and ought to be, split down the middle, evenly, in these nasty battles of divorce.

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