Traumatized, Between a Parent & a Child

The adults’ careless words that impacted a child into the adulthood years, this showed the extent of your words, and their effects in your children’s lives, translated…

When I was five, I’d always, slept, with upside down on my parents’, bed, they couldn’t understand why I’d needed to sleep with them, and, they couldn’t, get me to stop climbing in next to them in the middle of the nights, but, because I’d, adjusted my sleeping postures soon enough, they’d, allowed me to sleep with them, and they’d, forgotten this, tiny interlude of my, childhood years.

But I still remember something that upset me during this period of time. 

Late one night, I suddenly woke, heard my parents in conversation, I’d not moved an inch, I’d not wanted to listen in on their conversations, just wanted to, fall back to sleep again, but, a sentence that’s stayed with me came into my ear canals, ‘if my daughter was so-and-so that would be wonderful!”

The person my parents were referring to was my older female cousin, very well-behaved, did excellent academically too, it’s only natural, that the adults, loved her so, but, am I, really, that awful?  I’d started, to cry in the darkness, until my parents finished their conversations, fell asleep, I’d, still, stayed, wide awake, shocked, at this “secret” I’d heard.

“So, mom and dad don’t love me”, this thought started, rooting itself down inside of my young mind, and after this long, even though, the vines that entangled me in were, already, cut off almost, completely, but, I couldn’t, uproot this thought one bit.

The adults may think, that children can’t understand, or that they forget easily, and sometimes, their, careless words, blurted out, had caused the traumas in your young’s mind forever.

And this is precisely W-H-Y, you FUCKING (don’t pardon me here!!!) adults need to WATCH what you say in front of your kids, because even IF you think they’re not listening, their eyes are still, watching G-O-D, with their ears, tuned IN to your words, so, DO take this into consideration, the next time you want to blurt something out, even IF you don’t mean it so seriously, your young will, take it to heart, ‘cuz that’s, what we, children, ALL do!!!

The Worst in History, the Canadian Gunman Murdered Sixteen People

Massacre of innocent people all around, that shocked the local communities, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Suspect Falsified Himself as a Law Enforcement Official, Committed Arson First, Then, Gunned Down Those Who Tried to Escape, Went on a Shooting Rampage, Until He Was Finally Gunned Down by the Police

The police of Canada on the nineteenth stated, in Nova Scotia, a gunman in just twelve hours, gunned down sixteen victims continually, one of the victims who’d died was a female officer, this was the most serious of the larger scale massacre in all of Canada’s history.

The fifty-one-year-old gunman, Wortman was a dental technician who’d made the false teeth, has an office in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, he has residences in Nova Scotia and Portapique, then, committed arson at the local community, and, shot the residents who were running out of their houses caught on fire, then, continued on his shooting rampage along the way.

The police stated, that there were bodies discovered in and out of a residence in Portapique, that the houses close by were all burned up, and, there were bodies found in the other locations too.

The police pointed out, that the gunman had opened fire at various locations, that he was finally, gunned down at a gas station in a standoff with the police north of the capital, Halifax.  Aside from the gunman, there were, a total of sixteen shooting victims who’d died.

The royal calvary of Canada officer, Bergman told, “This is a truly shocking day for everybody in Nova Scotia today.”

The police stated, that the gunman was wearing police uniform, driven a car that looked like a squad car, they believed he was alone in committing the shooting rampages, he’d driven across the northern part of the state, and committed multiple shooting murders.  The police are still trying to figure out the motive of his shooting, believed, that he may have a set target in mind, but, later he’d started shooting at random, and from how he’d worn the uniform of the police, the police believed he’d, planned the shootings, that it wasn’t on a whim.

The governor of Nova Scotia, McNeil stated, “This was one of the most pointless act of violence in the history of Nova Scotia, in trying to keep MERS-CoV contained, this was, a heavy burden on its own!”

And so, this just showed, how the accessibility of guns can, make these situation happen more frequently, and, for whatever reasons there may be for this man going gun-wild on the crowd, we don’t know, but one thing we do know is, that these sorts of incidents makes us fee less safe in our white-picket-fence neighborhoods, after all, it happened in the world, which means, it can, happen in the neighborhoods that we live in too!

Found Not Guilty for Selling Illegal Substances, Because the Officers Didn’t Use the Right Measures to Make an Arrest

This is why it’s, important, for the law enforcement officers to do everything BY the B-O-O-K!!!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Two Years Ago, the Hsinbei Police Arrested a Woman, Chen for Using Heroin, Chen Claimed She’d Bought the Drugs from a Man, Cheng, and, Complied with the Police, Called up the Dealer to Get Him Out, Helping the Police to Arrest Him; in the Trials, Chen Testified, that the Station Manager Had Forced Her to Make the Calls to the Dealer, that the Police Had Coached Her on What to Say to Him, the Judge Believed that the Police were Framing & Abetting, that They’d Gotten the Evidence in a Flawed Manner, Found Cheng Not Guilty.  This Can be Appealed.

The verdict pointed out, two years ago at eleven in the morn on June 12, he’d met up with Chen at the restroom of a hospital, later, Chen was abusing drugs, and was found by her husband, he’d reported her, she’d claimed that the drugs she was abusing was sold to her by Cheng; at around one in the afternoon on that same day, Cheng received a call from Chen, he’d gone to sell her more illegal substances, and was arrested, and the police found 35 grams of heroin on him.

Cheng admitted to possession, but denied that he had intent to sell, that the illegal substances were for his own usage.  He said that Chen had borrowed $10,000N.T. to buy a scooter from him, that morning she’d paid him back $3,000N.T., that in the afternoon, she’d told him she had another $5,000N.T. for him that’s why he’d gone to meet up.

The Collectivist Courts investigated, that Chen wasn’t accurate on the details of the drug deal, in the interrogations she’d claimed that she’d paid $2,000N.T., and paid $1,000N.T. for what she’d owed, in the trials, she’d changed it to $3,000N.T. for paying back the debts, then, she’d, switched back to what she’d claimed in the interrogations; and the Highest Courts already had their understanding, that the supplies of the drugs by the drug addicts should NOT be the sole source of evidence, there’s NO other evidence that proved that the source of the drugs that Chen was abusing was from Cheng.

And, Chen claimed, that both her husband and the manager of the substation had forced her to call Cheng up, she’d told them, that unless she’d promised to pay him back, otherwise, he was, not going to show, and the station manager had, handed her the money, told her to carry it with her.

The Collectivist Courts asked Chen again, “The police asking you to call your dealer, to have him come out to sell you the drugs, did you provide that information, or, did the police want you to say it that way.”  Chen testified, “The police had, coached me on what to say……perhaps, they’d needed to crack another case in illegal substances, told me to tell the man that I am to pay him back, to pick up the stuff.”

In the end, the judge believed, that what made Cheng sold the drugs, was because how Chen went along with the police, to lure him out, that it fitted to “Framing and Abetting”, that the methods to which the evidence was obtained was, flawed, and Cheng was found not guilty.

And this just showed, of how the right things done the wrong way is still, WRONG, and these officers were too eager to arrest this man, that they’d, coerced the woman who abused the drugs to comply, and, the judge found the flaws in their methods of approach, of how the evidences were, collected, so he’d found the vendor not guilty, and now, he’s going to, continue, dealing drugs to more, and had the officers done this by the book, then, the dealer would be in PRISON!!!  But they hadn’t, and, there goes, another big fish caught, release, back into the oceans here!

The Police Searched without a Warrant, and Insulted the Woman Verbally

Because you’re a cop, therefore, you get to, abuse the person you’re, taking in, is that it???  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

As the patrol team of Taoyuan stopped a woman, Huang, the officers thought she’d, cussed them out, and took her into custody, but the district attorney found, that the two officers who’d made the arrest didn’t have a warrant, and they’d, cussed the woman out too, carried an awful attitude, believed, that Huang felt taken, that was why she’d, cussed the officers out, that she’d not intentionally offend a law enforcement official, dropped the charges; and, toward the officers’ abusing of their power in the arrest, the district attorney’s offices asked the supervising department of the officers to look into the matter more.

The safety squad said, they respected the D.A.’s dropping the charge against the woman, that they do concur with how the officers had gone overboard, and they will train them better from here on out.

Based off of the squad that took Huang into custody, at around five in the afternoon on October 3^rd of last year, Huang (age 37) was suspicious, and the police stopped her on Shijien Road of Zhongli District, she’d started, cussing the officers out, and was taken into the police station on publicly insulting a police officer.

As the district attorney found the secret camera, they’d found, that the two officers didn’t have the right to search her car, and that they had no valid foundation for the searches, but they’d, gone through Huang’s backpack, cigarettes, her makeup, and asked her, “what did the judge give you the last time?”, ‘Did you miss us?”, and “!@#$ your mother!”, with the improper spoken verbal insults and tones of voice, Huang felt offended, called out, “I’m making my !@#$ING delivery you mother !@#$ERS!”, and, the police believed that she’d, threatened them, and she was, taken into custody.

The D.A. pointed out, that as the officers searched and found nothing suspicious on Huang’s identification, they’d demanded to search her home too, and said, “I’m certain, that you have a stash (drugs) in your home”., Huang believed, that the officers didn’t have a signed warrant, and the officers claimed, “We’ll have the district attorney write one up later”, Huang replied, “What do you think I am?  Three?”, the officers shouted back, “Watch your tongue”, “We’re calling in a female officer to search your body now!”

Back then, they were at a standstill, the officers told Huang, “I think you’ll, offend again!”, Huang felt insulted, and turned around to leave, and, the officers cuffed her, for cussing them out, demanded her to apologize, Huang couldn’t hold it in, and stated, cussing them out, then, she was, taken into the squad car, and taken back to the precinct.

The district attorneys pointed out, the two officers conducted an illegal search from the beginning, and used the cuss words that were, improper, how do they expect Huang keep her cool when they took her in?  And as they’d found nothing, they’d, kept her from leaving, in the process of the search, they’d, repeatedly, insulted, threatened the woman, and, used a set of cuffs to threaten her, and clearly, this was, an abuse of their power as police officers.

The D.A. told, that Huang took almost seven-minutes’ worth of improper treatment by these officers, and although she had, cussed them out, but considering how she was, angered, and, upset by their insulting her, there’s no clear intentions of her obstructing justice, the charges were dropped against her.

Yeah, this would still be, an ABUSE of power, just because you’d arrested her the last time, that still does NOT mean that you have the right, to do the illegal search of her car, and verbally insult her, and these officers should get punished for it.

Lonelier than Alone

I’m, lonelier than alone, wrapped myself, in your, loneliness here.

Lonelier than alone, this, was how you’d, left me, and, I HATED it, being so, disconnected, so separated, from the rest of what’s, formerly, known to me, and now, reconnecting won’t be, so easy, been, too out of touch.

Lonelier than alone, you’d, kept me, wrapped me in your, misery, as, misery LOVED, company!  Lonelier than alone, this is, what you’d, given to me, since we wed, I thought I found someone to share my heart with, someone who’s, willing to, give ME his heart too, turned out, he was only looking to TAKE, and NOT give!

like, this???  Photo from online

Lonelier than alone, I don’t want to be, but, I’d been kept, by this man who said he loved me, inside, this, gilded cage, the confines, of these, four-walled, high-end, white-picket fence prison.  Lonelier than alone, I want to, break free from this, but, I got kids, and I can’t, leave them, NOT when they’re, so little, and still need their mommy to care for, to love them…

Lonelier than alone, I will, always be, with you around, and I still, would choose to be, lonely by myself, but what I got was, lonely with Y-O-U!!!

Helping Someone in Need in Times of the Outbreak

Helping some random stranger in need out, in times of, the “plague” here, teaching a very important lesson to your own young here, translated…

Seeing that man who’d fallen down, with blood covering over his face, I’d, tightened my hands on my twins’ hands, and the hesitation, gone in a, split second, I’d, walked up quickly towards him………

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, the springtime sun shone just right, I’d, decided, to take my kids out to the Youth Parks, to see the turtles, to see how many squirrels we can spot, to throw the Frisbees, to let my children who’d been kept, indoors, in their boredom, to run and to, play a little.  They got tired of running, and we’d, walked to the local shops, planned to find something to eat, at this time, an elderly man not far from where I was, fell down.

First, he’d, lost his, foothold, then, fell hard to the ground, he’d, instinctively, tried to get back up, but, didn’t steady himself and, tripped, fell harder.  I’d, screamed loud, as the elderly man, barely, sat back up, as he’d, lifted his head towards me, I saw blood coming from his head, he’d, started, making sounds, that I couldn’t, quite understand.  Some of the passersby instinctively, dodged his way, there were even more people, who’d, just, stood by, and watched the elderly man bleeding, like they were, watching a street performer.

like this???  Photo from online

A father with a child, came up to the elderly man, handed him a tissue, signaled him to press it onto his head to stop the bleeding, I’d, had my children wait for me right where they were, rushed forward, and, dialed emergency, for the, very first time in my life.  On the other end of the line came, a steady and stable voice, other than having me make sure of the elderly man’s consciousness and his willingness, the individual also reminded me, to wear a mask, to protect myself.  I’d, subconsciously, pressed down on the edges of my surgical mask, to make sure that my face is, sealed underneath it, lifted my head toward my twins who were, about two meters away, and I’d be lying, if I say I wasn’t, the least bit, worried.

The ambulance rushed over shortly enough, after the call I’d made, and, in the basic first-aid measures being taken, the paramedics also checked the elder’s glucose and temperature— “he’s feverish!”, these words, made a ripple inside my mind, suddenly, the crowd that gathered had, vanished, I took out the alcohol I had to sanitize myself, and tried to remember if there were, any open wounds on either one of us when we’d interacted?

“Mommy, will the man get better?”, my daughter pulled on my shirt.  “Yes he will, because we both helped him out.”, I’d, squeezed my twins’ hands tightly, told them I was so proud of them.  Life may be fragile and unexpected, but I believe that humans are, innately, good, that we’re all, working, to make this world a better place, I hope that my twin daughters can, remember this very moment, that no matter what the circumstances, we should all, try to, help someone who’s in need out.  This unsettling time is, a test for human nature, and love, is the answer to all of these, trials of, all our lives.

And so, this, is quite, altruistic, because you saw someone in need, and, you’d, not thought twice, because the elderly man had fallen down, and was in need of assistance, and, you’d not allowed, the bystander effect, the diffusion of responsibility, to prevent you from helping the elderly man out, and, you’d, also show by example, to your twin young children, how important it was, to offer someone a helping hand too.

MERS-CoV was Found on U.S.S. Roosevelt, the Captain Sought Help, Got Stripped of His Leadership Post

Just looking for someone, to, HANG, for this, could-be, DEADLY error!!!  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The current captain of the ship, U.S.S. Roosevelt, parked at Guam, awhile ago, because his crew members had been found of contracting MERS-CoV, he wrote a four-page memo, asking his superiors for help.  The press told, that the assistant director of the American Navy pulled the captain off of his duties, reason being how he’d, not used a proper methods to communicate to the department on the matter of how he’d, handled the cases of MERS-CoV discovered on the ship he was commanding.

The assistant director, Modly stated, that the captain shouldn’t sent copies of his emotional-filled memo, describing how close to 5,000 Navy servicemen and women are threatened by the outbreaks in print to so many people, causing the information to leak out to the press before the Department of Defense had a hold of it.

CNN reported that the captain handed the memo out to twenty to thirty people.  Modly clarified for the captain’s sake, that he didn’t get reprimanded because he’d, leaked the information out, but how he’d not gone through the chain of command like he was supposed to on the matter.

Modly stated, that there are, 114 members of his crew with the confirmed contraction of MERS-CoV, but the outbreaks are not really serious yet, that Crozier had didn’t follow the protocols of reporting the matter up the chain of command, that he’d, increased the risk of the news getting out to the press before the Department of Defense knew about it.

Modly told, that the way Crozier handled the memo, showed that he’d lacked the judgment needed in times of crises.  He said, “this letter falsely showed how it was on the U.S.S. Roosevelt, causing the unneeded minor panics.”  He said, that he wasn’t pulling Crozier because of how Crozier made the government, or the Navy looked, incompetent.

Modly told, that he wasn’t, pressured by his own superiors, because he’d not discussed pulling Crozier off his post with the White House, but after he’d made the decision, he had, told the Secretary of Defense, Esper, and Esper said, he’ll, back him up on whatever he decided.

As Crozier got pulled from his post on the USS Roosevelt, the Military Committee member of the House of Representative stated, that although Crozier was careless, but, switching him out during the key period of fighting the outbreak, may put the servicemen and women in greater risks, affecting the preparedness for battle, that pulling him off the post was, an emotional move.

The press told, that the U.S. Navy’s pulling Crozier off his post may cause the chilling effect for all who are currently serving who saw a problem and wanted to report on it, and that the U.S. Department of Defense’s refusing to disclose more about the outbreak, fearing that it may affect the way the servicemen and women viewed the possible crises, and how prepared they actually are.

And so, they’re, spinning it, because it’s an election year, and, this commander of the ship is only, a SCAPEGOAT, because someone needs to hang, and it doesn’t MATTER if they caught the right person responsible, so long as, someone gets, H-A-N-G-E-D, it’ll make the general public feel, more secure, and this is still, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!

The Epidemic Will Blow Over, and We Have to Be Practical in Restructuring of Everything

What we should be, taking from this outbreak of MERS-CoV as it, blows over, slowly…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

As we’re, weathering through the current outbreak, and the war of man, when did our lives became the songs, “I’m Dream Walking”, and “As I Wake from Dreams”?

Today, the various industries are faced with the crises that came with the outbreaks, especially in the movie, the tourism, as well as the food industries, almost, completely, halted; no matter where we go, all that we see is, heartbreaks, and, the worries.  Surely, as the government officials started setting up the cases, to offer assistance to the various performance arts industries, but, the biospheres of these, of the unfair pays, is still, hidden in plain sight today.  Everybody in the industry knows it, that this is, bad, especially in the younger generation of, performers, surely, they’d, made a ton of progresses in their, creativity agencies, but, the returns of their shows, falters away from the creative presentations, this huge gap, unless you work in the industry, you can’t, even begin, to imagine it.

The dreams of the younger generations, that is, the new sort of production line that the future generation can find; but, in the process of filing for government assistance, they’re, the lesser, not only will the asking price get slashed, they’re also, forced to hire the famous performers that cost them more;  The three generations, surviving together, prospering together, to make, the more practical of the presentations; but what did the, younger generations gain at the very end?  As they’d, waited for their shares, it’s the older generations’ “leftovers” that they’re, accepting, and this hardworking generation of creative performers, are treated like, cheap laborers; the older generations tell them, to learn more, not asking much, so they will have their own chances later on; and, under this mindset, how can the younger generations have an equal ground for competition?

Comparing to internationally, Taiwan loved offering the contribution awards; it’s just, does the country consider, what sort of a push, do these, awards have toward the future of the performance arts industries?  Or, are these awards, past tense, with only, the imagined values assigned to them.  There are, a ton of musicians that I know, that as they were living, they’d not received, anything from the community, and after they’re, gone, they were, awarded, the “life-time achievement” awards, what they wanted, as nothing more than support, to keep creating, on Taiwan’s, behalf.

The prize money for the mother tongue music, is multiples of the pop music awards, but, does offering a higher prize guarantee, that the mother tongues will, get passed down?  Do these songs, actually stay on the charts?  And now, the cancellations of the shows are occurring, how will these, artists, survive?  The only option being, canceling the shows, and counting up the losses; how can the younger generations, keep on, losing the money they’re, supposed to make, when they’d, already, tapped into, the ticket sales that they don’t even, have.  Why not, raise up the prize money, and, spread it, among more categories of, winners instead.

Although Taiwan is small, but, don’t forget, how the people here are, hardworking, and how kindly we’re, treating others.  Like how we’re, currently coping with the world’s outbreak right now, wen can still, survive, by our own, self-restraints, and thank god, that the outbreaks will, come to an end eventually.  After the outbreaks had, ended, the impacts on economics is to be, imagined, if the government doesn’t discuss and come up with a good plan, on how to put on the more meaningful shows, and not gloating on how well it’s done it?  And the local regions don’t set up those, large-scale amphitheaters, that were only used, once or twice, but to, keep the dreams of the performers, the artists, the restaurant, the tourist industries, keep going…and focusing on whether or not they are all, able to, make comebacks?

Any of the countries has that competitive edge, and the abilities, to influence, the arms, the music, the humanities, are still, the best language used, in diplomacy; the ultimate goals of the arts, the final pursuits should be truth, kindness, and beauty, and, does this country still, deserve its, formal name of, “Formosa”, after this, strong wave of things, how to use the taxpayers’ hard earn dollars, Taiwan needs to, find the means of, being practical back again.

And so, this, is a criticism of how the current government is, squandering the money that the taxpayers paid, on bullshitting night market vouchers, travel vouchers, to give the “smaller sorts of blessings” back to the citizens, instead, the government should have a wider field of vision, and put that money (which WE paid into!!!), to better use, and yet, does this freaking government do this?  HECK no, because the current president is busying away, spending ALL of our, hard earned dollars, in giving these, god damn, USELESS “smaller blessings” back to its people.

This is what happens, in a government, when the officials, don’t have a farther, field of vision, and only see the trees, and, MISS out on that fire that’s, burning UP the F-O-R-E-S-T!

My Daughter’s Response, on Parent-Child Interactions

Allowing your own young to experience, so s/he knows, that MOMMY is, RIGHT!!!  Translated…

My daughter woke up late this morn, I’d placed her breakfast into a box, for her to bring to school.  At this time, she’d told me she’d not wanted to eat it at school.  I’d hollered, “Why?”, she’d, minced her lips, refused to tell me another word, I’d thought for a bit, and asked, “do you want to take the time before classes to finish your assignments?”, she’d nodded, “it’s too time consuming to have to eat breakfast at school, it takes away the time from me doing my homework.”

I had to admit, I’d felt, a bit, emotional as she’d told me this.  I thought it’s, defeating the whole purpose of things, thinking of finishing her assignments on time, not caring about her health.  Besides, “homework’, is supposed to be work, taken home to complete, and yet, she’d been, rushing through the assignments in the mornings as she arrived at school, to the point of, giving up breakfast, this is, so totally, not, understandable.

As I was about to go into lecture at her, suddenly, I thought of myself.  In the elementary years, I’d gotten too busy with the various kinds of contests and competitions; in middle school, the pressures of academic made me buried in books; entered into high school, I’d, insisted I could, handle both my academia and my extracurricular activities; as I started n college, I’d, burned off my youth like crazy—but, during those years, my mother never said anything.  Surely, she’d, nagged, it’s just, she couldn’t, do a thing, as her daughter is, very much an, independent thinker, and, finally, allowed me to, be.

Many years later, in the mornings, I stood before my daughter, and, suddenly understood, my own mother’s, nagging back then.  Toward the young, mothers always showed their care and concerns, there were the, worries, always wanting to, offer the best answers for her life.  But, because I’d been a kid myself, I knew, that a lot of the lessons in life, you must learn, personally, for you, to come to realize, what is, the correct answer, and so, I’d come to understand, that the best thing for me to do right now, is, just zip it up.

Finally, as I saw her off into the school, I’d stated, “mom believe you are, able to decide correctly for yourself, breakfast, or not breakfast!”

I can even, give, the correct answer, and then, justify my claims of why my answer is correct, and yet, no matter how perfect I’d, argued my case, it won’t, do a thing for my daughter, because it’s not the answer she’d found by herself.  The only thing I can do, is to give her room, to discover, to hit, for her to, persuade herself, at the same time, having the faith, that she is, able to, persuade herself.

Turns out, what’s harder in caring for our young, is letting them go, to allow them, to make their own, choices in life.

In the evenings as she came back home, she took out the packed breakfast box.  I took a look, nothing’s inside.  She stuck out her tongue and told me, “I was so hungry, and so, I couldn’t help, but eat it.”

Maybe, these lessons of our young, rather than, drying up our own tongue, why not, allow their, rumbling stomachs, to teach them what’s correct.

And so, this, is how a child learns, that her mommy’s, right (and of course, us mommies, are ALWAYS and FOREVER right!), but for our young to understand that we ARE right, sometimes, we need to, stop worrying about them, to just, let go, and let them touch the FIRE, so they get burned, and that hurt register inside their brains, OUCH!  It’s hot, and I shouldn’t touch, like this mother did, for her own young, to LEARN, that HER mother, is R-I-G-H-T!!!