How fast the children grow up, one day, they still need you, and the very next moment, they no longer, needed you, to watch over them anymore! Translated…
Having to go to school out-of-district, to the big-eyed girl who’d lived, quite simply, was a huge leap out of her comfort zone, a passageway into, an alternative, realm; while her first obstacle was, take the bus. For this, she’d asked her classmate to accompany her, and, looking at her animated as she returned, sharing her experiences, I’d thought, she should have, no problems then.
“You will, go with me tomorrow, right?”, the night before the summer sessions, I’d received that, helpless inquiry, which alerted me. The following morn, I’d gone with the big-eyed girl, to the sidewalk with the huge flamegold, and saw a tour bus, parked by, with the LED lights of “XX Student Shuttle”, I’d said hello to the driver, “I shall be driving this route from here on out”, he’d told me.
Then, going to the bus stop, the two of us, mother and daughter, became our, routines.
how we started…photo from online
And one day, my big-eyed girl did NOT go right up the bus, but instead, traded whispers with the driver, I’d questioned it, but didn’t feel proper to inquire her about it then. As she’d returned home, she’d told me what the driver told her, “he’d said, you live so close, and you still have your mom accompany you, you need to, learn to get to the bus stop on your own!”, as those words came, the air, froze, “So, will you, still, accompany to the bus stop?”, I’d fallen, silent.
On this night, the darkness draped over us, my daughter didn’t get home, I’d called her cell, she’d not, picked up, which made the wait for her to come home even, longer; then, “CLACK!”, cut open that heavyset air of night, the sound of key turning, my daughter dropped her backpack, mumbled, “I’d accidentally, fallen asleep on the bus, and rode it to the terminal station by accident, there was only, me………….” “How did you get home then?” “The driver gave me a lift, and he’d told me, ‘young lady, don’t fall asleep again on the bus.’” And, I’d heard the steady voice of the driver, “tell mom, that you will be very safe, there’s nothing she needs to worry about.”
We’d gone from the summer into the winter, I’d thought, that we would, keep on, walking like this, but my big-eyed daughter blocked me from exiting the house with her, looking at her tiny frame, going farther, and farther, and farther, away. “It’s just a few steps out, why are you, worried?”, her words echoed in my mind, seemingly question my faith in her. Don’t I trust the characters of the driver? And, will I give her time, space, to discover who she is, how she is to, become, what and who she wants to, become………….
Then, “Pop”, that thought was, interrupted, I lifted my head, it was the flamegold rain tree’s seed, popping out, the seeds, worked so very hard, to break away out of the shells that once, kept them all, safe, looking back, the shells are still, full but they’d now become, emptied on the inside. I’d come to understand, that the tree used an entire year, to birth out its, own offspring, and as the seeds are matured, they’d, broken out, and away, far off, and yet, the trees can’t just, let go easily. Isn’t this, the way of nature, just like how my big eyed daughter will, eventually need to, shoulder her own life, to learn the lessons she would need, and if she’s ready, what right have I, to hold her, back?
“Don’t worry, she’ll be, safe”, the driver’s words echoed between the trees, and the, skies.
and it’d become…like this, as they gained, more independence from us, the parents! Photo from online
And so, this is, watching your own daughter grow up, and, you feel a bit, sad, because she no longer needed you, to watch over her, to take care of everything for her, she is, learning to grow up strong, to take care of herself, and you should be glad, that you’d, taught her well, it’s just, that you feel, a bit, sad, that she’s, needing you, less and less each and every day, but that’s just how life goes. Children will become, independent of their, parents, and the parents must learn to effectively deal with the sense of, empty nest…
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