How the Father Became the Son…

Call it a role reversal if you want to…

The father will eventually, become the son, because as he aged, he’d become, less and less capable, of caring for himself, and slowly, he’d started, relying on his own son, to care for him, and now, the son became the father, and the father, became the son.

It’s a very slow progression, because, in his former years, the father worked really hard, to provide, for the livelihoods of his sons, bought them houses, watched them all get married, and have kids.

The father, however, became deteriorated, he’d slowly, deteriorated away, by the day, it wasn’t long, before the son can no longer care for him on his own, and so, an outside helper is hired, and yet, the father still remembers the son, NO matter how much he’d forgotten, and asked for his son all day long.

And so, the son would drop his own father off, at daycare, just as the father had done, when the son was quite young, because the son now has to work, that, is how he keeps HIS ends meet, and, paying the bills, for his elderly father’s care too.

And one day, the nursing home sent the son a notice, that they can NO longer care for his father, and so, the son went, picked his own father up, and, got him home, was ready, to care for his aging, ailing, deteriorating father on his own.

And that, would be H-O-W, your father turns into your sons, and, your sons became, your fathers, it’s all, age regression, because as we all age, we all become more and more like children, especially with how much longer people ARE currently living, there will be, a LOT more of the elderly population who became their children’s children in the future too…

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Filed under Cost of Living, Dementia, Despair, Family Matters, Observations, Old Age, Parent-Child Interactions, Perspectives, Properties of Life

Peter Pan is Gone…

So, where did that LEADER of the Lost Boy go???  Did he finally, GROW UP?

Peter Pan is gone, Wendy woke, to her younger brother’s hollers, and, soon, she’d gone with them, to search, for that final, lost boy!  They first, searched the pirates’ ship, that they took, to ride back, into the REAL world, nope, he wasn’t there, not on deck, NOT below!

Peter Pan is gone, and, he can’t be found, because, the LEADER of the Lost Boys had lost HIS purpose, for he no longer lives, in NEVERLAND anymore.  Wendy took HIM back, into the REALITY of things, her WORLD…

Peter Pan is gone, now, where’d that little boy who REFUSED to let reality tie him down go?  We’d all wondered.  And, we searched, hi, and lo too, for him, but, still, he was, NOWHERE to be found, it’s, as if, he never even,, existed, at all, but, we ALL remembered him, don’t we, boys and girls?  We sure do!

Peter Pan is gone, perhaps, it was him, who got eaten, by that crocodile, in that very LAST duel with Hook, and, the croc stopped being so stubborn, on his diet, he’d settled, for Peter Pan, instead of waiting endlessly, for Hook?  Who knows.

Peter Pan is gone, and, nobody knows where he went, and, when we’d asked around, nobody seemed to remember him at all, so, how come, he is still remembered, by Wendy, and her younger brothers???  Peter Pan is gone, and, in HIS place, stood that AWFUL pirate, who took children’s dreams, to FEED them, to the crocodile!

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Filed under Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Lives Lost, Loss, Properties of Life, Queen Tina's Fables

When Your Dementia Became My Punishment

STRAINS on the primary CARETAKER here!!!

When your dementia became MY punishment, but, what’d I EVER do???  I had always be the child who gave you NO troubles at all, and now, as you’d become demented, you’re left in my care?  What of my other siblings?  Oh yeah, they all made the excuses of having to work, having too much to handle, but, what about ME?  I have a LOT to handle too, just because I’m unwed, without a family I needed to care for, that still doesn’t make me the BUTT of everything, does it?

When your dementia became MY punishment, but, I didn’t even DO anything wrong!  So, why am I being punished, by your dementia?  Because my older siblings won’t take the responsibilities of caring for you, and, I don’t feel right, just, dumping you in that darkened nursing home, and so, I’d, shouldered it all on.

When your dementia became MY punishment, sometimes, although I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but, I do, I wish, that you can just, DIE, but, you just won’t, you’re still healthy, in ALL other sense, it’s just, that you’re slowly, declining, in your mental capabilities is all…

When your dementia became MY punishment, I really don’t want to shoulder the responsibilities, and, my older brothers and younger sister all come to visit, sure, but, I’m the one who’s there, to STAY, they all get to go home, at the end of the day, but, I can’t, because this, IS my home, and, you’re living WITH me!!!

 

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Dementia, Despair, Expectations, Family Matters, Issues of the Society, Observations

A Couple Met by “Accident” Using a Friendship App, the Girlfriend Loved the “New Man”, Was Planning on Dumping the Real Him

Problems with not interacting with your dates, face-to-face, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

An engineer, Chen used different names to look for girlfriends using a cell phone friendship app, he’d managed to find the same adolescent girl, after Chen had sex with her, he was suspected of using his false identity, claimed that he had the sex footage of her, threatened the victim to take ten nude photos of herself, to shut him up every single day, the adolescent girl ended up, notifying the police, the police tracked his IP address, and found, that Chen had taken two roles online, and, busted his lies.

The Taipei District Attorney’s Office yesterday prosecuted Chen based off of threats, and laws against safety of youth and children; as for the accusations of rape, the D.A. believed, that it was, consensual, they’d dropped the charges.

The D.A. investigated, that last May, Chen used the nickname, “Wei”, through a friendship app, met a high school girl, they’d started dating, became a couple, and, had sex.

But Chen used another false identity, “James Wei”, and started another friendship account, found another female high school girl, after they’d shared a couple of conversations, Chen realized, that it was, his girlfriend, in order to know if her heart for “Wei” was for real, he’d used the name of “James Wei” to pursue her, and, he was able to get her to like him, although they’d never met up, they’d started referring to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Chen later found, that his girlfriend had fallen for “James Wei”, and was planning on breaking up with “Wei”, last year in June, he’d made threats using the identity of “James Wei”, “I have footages of you having sex with other men at the hotel, you must send me ten nude photos of yourself, or, I will, disperse the video footages.” The adolescent believed him, and had taken shots of herself, nude, sent it to him, other than photos of her, completely nude, and zooms on her privates, she’d gone with his instructions of taking nude shots of herself in her school’s bathrooms, she’d taken over a hundred pictures; the adolescent feared, that her photos will get distributed, and asked “Wei” to help her out, without knowing, that it’s all his work.

Last year, in July, the girl mentioned breaking up, Chen used the photos to threaten her, the adolescent first went to the Songshan Subprecinct, to accuse “Wei” for rape, threats, then, went to Xinyi Subprecinct and accused, “James Wei” for threats; the police checked the IP addresses, and found, that the two men were actually the same person, and, that, was when the adolescent discovered, that “Wei” and “James Wei” are actually the same guy.

This still shows, how you should NOT believe everything that people are telling you, especially in the areas of online dating, friendship, etc., etc., etc., because, for ALL you know, the person you’re chatting with, the one you feel that strong connection to, might be someone who’s way too old, to keep his own body well, and is just, phishing for the young AND the naïve, and, if you’re that stupid, then, surely, you WILL take the baits, and, end up like this girl, getting taken advantage of.

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Filed under Cost of Living, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Life, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, STUCK in a Cookie Jar, Stupidity

Taken the Hard Road to Conception

Infertility issues here, and, it is, especially hard, for those in the Eastern cultures, translated…

I thought, originally that getting pregnant and having a baby would come naturally after I married, without knowing, that it was, actually, the beginning of MY nightmares.

I was a little over a month into my first pregnancy when the doctor believed, that the child didn’t have a heart beat, I’d gone to three separate doctors, and, they’d confirmed, that, it was, “a malformed fetus”, and so, I’d taken the advice of the doctor, had an abortion, and, because I was still quite young, I’d taken a few days of, then, headed, straight back to work again.

Without realizing, that that, was only the beginning of my trials, first, I had a hard time, conceiving, waited for a year, when I’d finally gotten pregnant, I’d taken extra care, but, two months in, I’d miscarried again.  Still recalled how rushed I was, to get to the hospital, and the doctor told me, that I couldn’t keep an unhealthy pregnancy, that I shouldn’t take it to heart too much.  Although I understood what he was telling me, but, I’d had to, swallowed down hard, those tears, it felt, like a bitter glass of alcohol, the sense of loss, was beyond my verbal expressions.

This time I’d miscarried, it’d waken me up, I’d decided, to take good care of my body, on the one hand, I’d gone to see the Chinese doctors, to get my body well, and on the other, I’d sought out western ways, to help me with infertility, during which time, I’m grateful to my husband, going everywhere with me, and, I’d gone to the Chinese doctors regularly by the week.  Because there were so many patients, we’d often had to wait for the entire evening, by the time I’d finally gotten home, it was, past ten o’clock, the very next day, I’d headed over to the Chinese medicine shops, to get the medications, and cook the meds myself.  In the morning and evening, I’d pinched my nose, and managed, to drink down the bitter medication.  On weekends, I’d rushed to the OBGYN’s office, to try an assortment of ways to help me conceive.

My mother-in-law’s side of the family also worked hard, to find an assortment of ways, and, they’d even done a ritual called, “exchanging flowers”, hoped that I can have a trouble free birth.  In all of our working hard together, finally, four years after we wed, I was, able to, have a son.

In the past, I’d had a smooth ride, in school, and at work, I’d thought, that everything I got, I worked hard for, and after going through this arduous process of getting pregnant, I’d understood, that other than believing in myself, and my own persistence, I’d relied even more on other people’s help and encouragements.

My son is truly, a gift from god, without this difficulty in conceiving, I couldn’t have gained the understandings I have for life, and I couldn’t have learned, to be humble or grateful, nor would I cherish what I have right now.

And so, this, is just, a lesson, that fate had you learn, the HARD way, because you’d had a smooth ride all the way, fate tossed you a curve ball, so you’d learned to not take things for granted, and, you’d learned your lesson well, which, is why things have worked out for you.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Cost of Living, Despair, Expectations, Family Matters, Fate, Issues on Gender, Lessons Learned, Maturation, My Thoughts on Various Issues, Observations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Values

My Father-in-Law’s Mentality, Reduced to a Three-Year-Old, and We Need to Record Everything for Him

On the progression of dementia, translated…

My father-in-law is currently ninety-one years old, my mother-in-law, eighty-eight, they have three children, all grown with families and careers.  When my father-in-law was seventy-eight, he’d become ill, had surgeries on his heart, his gall bladder, to remove the stones, and on his small intestines, the caring of the elders were left, on the shoulders of the sons, but, the brothers kept evading their responsibilities, and, nobody wants these two hot potatoes.  My mother-in-law shouldered it on her own, and I feel awful for her, and, I’d asked my husband, who was the second born son to retire early, so he could get my in-laws to live with us.

But, my father-in-law slowly showed signs of forgetfulness, forgot to turn off the lights, or the faucets a lot, or often repeated the same words, and, has the delusions of someone stealing his money away, and, the doctors diagnosed him with dementia, and so, we took money out of our own pockets, to pay for his medication, hopefully, to slow down the progression.

Because we live close to the beach, my father-in-law would often take long strolls by the beach, but, he’d always bring back a large bag of garbage, and, there were piles and piles of trash, outside our doorsteps; even if he’s at home, he’d often packed his things, and called that he wanted, to “go home”, and, when we’d stopped him from going out, he’d thrown a temper tantrum.

Several times, we weren’t watching him closely, he’d slipped out,  gotten lost, and, broken his arm, gladly, the neighbors and the friends had helped; and, he’d tripped and fallen, and, bleed from his face, as he sat by the side of the road, but gladly, we’d signed him up for the demented elderly registry, and, we were notified by the police, and, we got him home.

When my father-in-law’s conditions became very serious, and can no longer take care of himself in daily living, and would go to the bathroom all over the places.  In order to take care of him, I needed to record down the time when he’d urinated and defecated, and check his diapers constantly, and, when I had to give him meds, I’d grinded the medication up into powder form, and mixed it in with his food, and, clean him up in the privates daily, to prevent urinary tract infections, and, I’d brushed his teeth gently, and put mittens on his hands, so he won’t scratch himself.

And now, my father-in-law’s mentality is no more than a three-year-old, and, would cry, wanted his mom, and, in the colder nights, his cries seemed even more sorrowful.  Looks like we’ll ALL be losing sleep tonight!

And, this, is toward the E-N-D, when you have absolutely NO control over your bodily functions, you can’t even remember your loved ones, and, there’s just NO dignity in that, but, the family still did the BEST they possibly can, to care for this demented elderly person the best way they can…

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Cost of Living, Dementia, Despair, Family Matters, Life, Observations, Old Age

When Our Dreams Stopped Paying the Bills

This, is a recent thing, I suppose, but we ran out of money, and, honeymoon was, OVER, in an instant!  When our dreams stopped paying the bills, there’s NOTHING we can do, and, all that’s left for us, IS these empty memories, that our dreams left behind, this void, inside of both of us…

When our dreams stopped paying the bills, and, you DO realize, how the living expenses are, and, it wasn’t long, before we realized, that we needed to be realistic, and, we’d, abandoned, our dreams.  When our dreams stopped paying the bills, then, what GOOD is there, keeping them around?  I mean, we need money, to buy food, to put into our stomachs, so we don’t starve, right?  And, all we have are, these useless dreams, piling up, and, they don’t DO shit!

When our dreams stopped paying the bills, we decided, to sell them all, we were very young, and naïve, believing, that if we’d sold now, we could always dream up more later, without realizing, that we only, get one chance, to dream, and, after we’d sold our dreams, to make the ends meet, well, we dropped downward, toward hell, and, we found ourselves, in the midst of this, icy, frigid, cold reality that surrounded us, without our dreams, to keep us warm………

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Filed under Cost of Living, Expectations, Life, Properties of Life, Reality Clashes with Dreams