A Letter Written by His Daughter, the Father Who’s Sexist Was Mandated to Divorce

Sexism, in practice, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

A woman, Huang, accused her husband for playing favorites with their seven-year-old son, and not loved their sixteen-year-old daughter equally, she couldn’t put up with it, asked for a divorce.  The judge based the letter written by the daughter that stated, “You’d never put your heart on me…you’d told me, that there are a lot of other relatives who looked out for me, that you didn’t need to take care of me anymore…”, and, on the stands, she’d stated that “the verbal exchanges my father had with my younger brother is MORE than the number of words he’d exchanged with me my whole life”, believed, that Huang’s accusations are valid, and, allowed for the divorce.

Huang accused, after her daughter was born, her husband didn’t show ANY care or concerns, and refused to pay for the daughter’s schooling or living expenses, that all the related costs were paid for, by her side of the family, the two had lived together, separately now; the husband said, “you owe me a son”, she’d immediately gotten impregnated by him, but, after her son was born, her husband started playing favorites with her son, it’d hurt her daughter so.  She said, that because of the pressures of her marriage, she’d put her heart and soul into religion, last year, after her daughter went to Canada to study, she’d decided to move out, and made her mind up on divorce.

Huang’s husband rebutted, he’s just not really comfortable at showing care and concern, but, in his daughter’s growing up, he’d accompanied her, and had given her a cell phone, as well as a laptop as presents, and that after the son was born, he’d become better off economically, that, was why he’d started providing for his own son’s education.

The judge called on their daughter to the stand, the daughter showed a letter she’d written to her father last August, “You’d probably not known how I’d dated a younger boy back in middle school, because I’d longed to be loved by a guy, after I’d broken up with him, I’d cried for so long, because I actually thought, that no guy can ever love me, you’d once told me, that there are, a lot of other people who loved me already, that your love would not be necessary, it’s really shocking, that parents would think, that they’d given too much love to their own children…”

The daughter took the stand, and confirmed, that since she was growing up, her father never talked to her in depth more than five times, when her classmates came over, her father would stay in his room, and wouldn’t come out to meet them, but he’d accompanied her younger brother every single day, given a ton of toys to her younger brother, “The verbal exchanges my father had with my younger brother is MORE than the verbal exchanges he’d had with me”.

The judge believed, that Huang’s accusations were valid, that it did, cause their marriage to break up, and the two had slept in separate rooms for a very long time, granted the divorce.  The daughter clearly stated that she wanted to live with her mother, and her husband had no objections, and so, the custody of the teenager went to the mother.  From the social workers’ home visit notes, Huang would often gone abroad to attend functions of religious matter, couldn’t accompany the seven-year-old son long-term, and so, the custody of their son was given to her husband.

So, this, is how FAR favoritism got!  And, the man did it, too obviously, I mean, yeah you are excited to have a son, but, you still should NOT ignore your daughter completely, you’d shown a lack of care AND concern toward her, and, what kind of a father ARE you, to play favorites like that!

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Filed under Abandonment of Children, Awareness, Bad Parenting Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Life, Properties of Life, Re-Experiencing the Trauma, Socialization

The New Home for the Elderly

Observations made from life, translated…

Awhile ago, after I’d gone for my workout at the park, I’d taken a rest on the benches, the heated summer days, with that gentle breeze, an elderly couple was sitting there, in the resting place, I’d heard the elderly woman tell the elderly man, “Let’s go to the new place to check it out later.”, I think to myself, they must have a huge sum in retirement funds.

Sitting close to them, we’d started in conversations, as we talked, the “new home” that the elderly were talking about, were the dual burial place that they’re going to be sharing after they die.  They don’t have any children, just had each other, and, had made their future plans a very long time ago.  They said, that they’d go to their “new home” to clean it up every single week.

“If you don’t have worries far off, then, you have worries nearby.”  Being able to set up one’s own funeral arrangements beforehand, and so in love, that after death, wanting to be buried together, it’s really rare to see, it’s truly, moving.

And so, you can see how close these two elderly are to one another, to want to be buried together after death, and, it’s a good thought too, because they wanted to keep each other company, even after death, and, this, is a hard-to-come-by, once-in-a-lifetime, very deep, kind of love that these two elderly share.

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Filed under Expectations, Life, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

Grateful Toward the Free Umbrellas, He’d Used One, and Returned Five Back to the Place

Kindness flowed around in this neighborhood all right, from the Newspapers, translated…

The umbrellas provided for those who need, either that the umbrellas would get forgotten somewhere, or that they don’t get returned back at all, and, the number of these free-for-use umbrellas are declining in the numbers, but, the free umbrellas for the use of those who may need in Shi-Chiu Borough, Keelung kept growing in number, the locals not only would return the borrowed umbrellas, they’d even, donated some from their homes too, a local person because he was very grateful for the compassion umbrellas, allowing him to not get wet on a rainy day, he’d returned FIVE back to the office, everybody there chips in, in this effort to show compassion.

Lin, the man in charge of the borough had placed a row of compassion umbrellas out by his office, and, a year ago, there were only one-digit number of the umbrellas, but now, there are, over twenty, and the ones that got broken, would be recycled, and on the rainy days, the locals would borrow it away, and when the weather gets better, they’d returned them.

Lin said, it rains a lot in Keelung, and there would be the local residents who’d gone to the marketplaces that were rained on, and couldn’t get home, he’d had the thought of placing the “compassion umbrellas” so everybody can get home without getting wet.

And because the office is on the way to the marketplace, when the man in charge of the borough saw a person without an umbrella, he’d bring one to her/him, and said, “Don’t get wet, you’ll catch a cold!”, it’d made the locals feel warm inside.

“The compassion umbrellas are very practical”, a resident, Yu told, once he’d forgotten to take his umbrella and was drenched, thanks for the umbrellas, he didn’t get too wet.

Most of the users would usually return the umbrella the very next day after they took it home, and there were a lot who showed their gratitude by bringing an extra umbrella to return back to the office.  A local, Lai said, “Everybody is a part of this kindness, I’d donated an umbrella too.”

Lin said that there were locals who’d donated five umbrellas at a time, and not left her/his name, just told him, “it’s to help those in need”, it’d moved him so, and so, he’s passing on the program.

A lot of the volunteers at the points all brought their extra umbrellas, so this work of kindness keeps on rolling.

So, kindness is also infectious, because someone was aided, and so, the person showed gratitude by returning the “favor”, so those in need would have it available to them, and, this is just in ONE small borough here, but, imagine how much good this could accomplish, if several boroughs start doing this, kindness is still, cycling here…

 Still NOT my photograph…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, News Stories, Properties of Life, Stories of Hope, Trends

The Dangerous Thing About Trust…

It’s either make, or BREAK, and, when you BREAK, you REALLY, REALLY, R-E-A-L-L-Y DO B-R-E-A-K!

The dangerous thing about trust, is that if you’d placed your trust into the wrong people, then, you’d be, totally SCREWED, and, there’s ALSO that GOD DAMN problem of T-R-A-N-S-F-E-R-E-N-C-E (hello, hello, hello, Uncle Siggy, anyone???).

Trust is a dangerous thing, especially in this world, filled with a TON of SHIT, how do you know, WHO you can trust?  I mean, lookin’ ‘round here, you’ll see, ALL those GOD damn BUSINESSES that put people’s lives in danger, because they’d wanted to save up on the dollar, and, you ALSO have people, who are still ABUSING one another’s trust, everywhere.

The dangerous thing about trust, you can’t just, TRUST anybody, especially strangers, because you don’t KNOW what their intentions are, and, more often than not, their intentions are NEVER good!

So, what, do we do?  Do we, become skeptics, in the realms of trust?  Do we, still keep that faith, that people are naturally good, and, how, can we, make sure, that the environment won’t get to us, with ALL those bad news that are still currently, playing, playing, playing, AND replaying out there?

 

 

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Filed under Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Downward Spiral, Expectations, Perspectives, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life

The Elderly Woman Was on a Cart, Being Transported to the Hospital in the Hot Weather, the Passersby Were Extremely Kind, Put Up Shades So She Won’t Get Overheated

Help from strangers, goodness in the world here, from the Front Page Sections, translated…

The owner of the roadside food stand, the truck driver, the young man who volunteered for the local worships put up the money and gave the assistance, were reported for doing good?  “There’s no need to put our good deeds out there.”

The eighty-year-old elderly woman, Lin two days ago, lay on her flatbed transport, her daughter rode her motorcycle, and dragged the flatbed, with her on it, to the hospital, the oyster-fry shop owner, the truck driver, and a young man who volunteered at the temple celebrations witnessed this, they’d put up the money, to get the elderly woman to the hospital, and installed warning lights on her flatbed, and this once again, showed that heartwarming stories are still, occurring throughout Taiwan.

The elderly woman, Lin, lived on the third floor of a housing unit with her fifty-eight year-old daughter, they’d picked up recycle materials to make ends meet, and because it’d become hard, for the elderly to climb up the stairs, she’d often slept in the cart that she’d used to haul off the recycling materials with.

The elderly woman has a debilitating condition, every two months, she’d needed to go to Changgang Hospital in Chiayi to see her physician, but, they were without money for a cab, each and every time, the daughter would ride on her motorcycle, pulling along the flatbed, and she’d ride for eighteen kilometers, to get her mother to her doctor’s appointment.  And because her elderly mother is sitting on the flatbed, she’d ridden her motorcycle very slowly, and, each time, the trips took them over an hour each way.

Two afternoons ago, around five, the mother and daughter showed up as they’d passed through the Chingtien Temple, and was spotted by the oyster fry stand owner, Hou, and the truck driver, Chen.

“I could tell, by one look, that they’re not well off!”, the driver, Chen told, the mother daughter were parked by the side of the road, the elderly woman was without any mobility, lay, slanted, on the cart, and, other than the quilt that was beside here, there was also, a store-bought packed lunch; the elderly woman’s daughter was sweating like crazy, panted, told that she’d ridden for forty minutes, she’d become overheated and tired, she stopped, to rest.

The owner, Hou and the pickup driver, Chen decided to put up the money, so the elderly woman could be transported via a cab, and, a couple of the young men from the temples saw, and they all went to help out.

The youth from the temple, Huang said, everybody worked together, some flagged down the cab, some accompanied the elderly on the ride, some rode alongside the daughter, to help the elderly cross the streets, he’d bought a flashing light, placed it at the tail of the flatbed.

Huang said, that the cab driver was kind too, kept waiting for them at the hospital, and then, he took the elderly woman home.  The trip cost five hundred dollars, but the men gave the driver an extra hundred dollar bill.

The group of young men were asked, “Can we mention your act of kindness on the papers?”, everybody frowned and said, “This, is what we can do to help out, there’s no need, to make it known to the world.”

And here, we still have kindness from strangers, because they saw this elderly woman who was in need, and, they all chipped in, to offer her assistance, and, this, is a heartwarming story, in this world that’s growing colder every single day, as there are so many awful things happening in the world right now, and we need MORE stories like this one, to keep our faiths up.

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Filed under A Cycle of Kindness, Helping Behaviors, Kindness Shown, Life, News Stories, Perspectives, Properties of Life, Social Awareness, Social Issues, Trends

My Turn to Take Care of You This Time

From the mind of a son, translated…

The year that I’d interned at the emergency room, I’d always feared that my father would become one of the patients, every time I’d heard on the announcement system, that there was an unknown male patient, I’d always gone to check.  My father had been ill a long time, one morning, he had a stroke, was found by a neighbor, to be lying at the park, having a seizure, but after being treated, he’d gotten stabilized, and can now, live on his own.

I can’t believe, that my father who’d always been so strong, how he’d missed the signs of him growing weaker, back then, I’d spent all of my waking hours on my post, learned to ask the patients what was the matter, and how to treat their difficulties, and, in this busyness, I’d gotten a call, as I’d dialed back, it was, a stranger, telling me about my father’s conditions, how ironic!  My heart became twitched and tangled, I’d immediately rushed to the other hospital, saw my father, panting hard, at a corner of the emergency room; what’s worse was, I’d worked through the days and the nights, and neglected to ask him how he was, and was completely clueless about his mental and physical health.

I should’ve known, that my father had concealed his condition from me, because he didn’t want me to worry, I should’ve gotten that something wasn’t right from how fatigued he looked, all those knowledge I’d learned from medical school allowed me to look at every patient’s situations subjectively, but, I couldn’t see clearly what was going on with those I loved………I’d started doubting my love toward my father now, compared to those who’d kept me up all night long, thinking over their conditions, I don’t even know when was the last time my dad went to his doctor’s appointment, must there be a give and take between a greater kind of love and the love you have for those who are close to you?

There was a time, when I’d gotten trapped in the emotions of self-blame, before my father’s bed, I’d looked over his charts hard, trying to find a way, to make this love I have for him complete; but, what surfaced into my mind was not the medical knowledge, but the days my father and I spent together.  The tears of regrets stained my white robe, and, it was, as if my father heard my helpless cries, he’d worked hard, opened up his eyes, and told me, to not worry so much, word by word.

My father couldn’t control his drool, and, it’d slowly overflowed from the corner of his lips, I’d wiped it up lightly, I didn’t want someone else to look after him again, even as my father ushered me to head back to work, I’d still told him no.  This time, I want to, keep watch over my father, as his son.

And this, is how someone had become too focused on his job, that he’d forgotten about how important family is, but gladly, he’d gotten that wake up call just in time.

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Filed under Despair, Family Dynamics, Family Matters, On Death & Dying, Parent-Child Interactions, Professional Opinions, Properties of Life, Socialization

My Father & the Symphony of Life

On death, translated…

A few minutes later, the workers flipped my father’s still limp body to the side, he was like a well-behaved child, asleep, not moving at all.

My father had never allowed anybody to do him like this ever, he’d been a serviceman his whole life, he was the forward when he was younger when he’d played basketball, before he’d retired from the army, he worked as a head of a certain department too, a very respected man by all, I suppose.

After he’d gotten out of the services, he’d started making his own way, volunteered for a Hakka magazine, and, when he was asked along, to perform the traditional Hakka skills, he’d gone, as he pleased, NEVER followed anybody’s requests………

But this time, it was, out of his hands, we saw how our father, whose body was weakened by the cancer cells, got lifted onto a gurney………

Pushed, toward the morgue………

Outside of the ICU, the doctor handed me several forms, said, my father was actually kept alive by the machines, that they’d needed the agreements from the families, in order to pull the plug on him, I, being his eldest son, if I agree, then, I should sign on the forms, later on, the medical staff would unplug him, and, allow his heart to stop on its own.

All of a sudden, I felt this heaviness on the pen that I was holding, it’d become, as heavy as a steel blade………

Like the judges of the ancient times, I’d imagined, that if I’d pushed the pen across the “verdict”, and, immediately, I will hear the sounds of sharpened cries from all around.

Every word I’d spoken to the medical staff was like coughing up blood for me, I’d pleaded to the paramedics: to up the dosage, but don’t do CPR on him, I feared, that his ribs may get broken, and my father who can’t speak anymore would have to weather through even more pains.

That was, passed the autumn season, into the winter of 2013.  The Northern Hemisphere was either covered with yellowed leaves, or covered in the first layers of snow.

On an afternoon in the bottom of November, I’d gotten an emergency call from overseas from my younger sister, said that my father’s heart had stopped in his sleep, and the nurses asked her if she wanted to keep him alive

Considering that she’d wanted me to see my father again, she’d signed the papers to resuscitate, which was very difficult for her to make.

And just like so, my father’s heart resumed beating again……

And, I’d immediately bought a non-transfer flight back to Taipei that very night, with the mindset of how the world is covered with the first layer of snow…

Knowing that that was, the last time I’d touched my father’s body, I’d known, that there was still, an old soul, hanging on, because he’d miss us, and I just wanted to feel the last heat from that soul, to this body, because, the snow had gotten thicker, and heavier!

My father had been troubled by gout for a very long time, from the year before, when he was diagnosed with fourth stage lung cancer, his gout came over, back then, there were stones, growing inside of the joints of both his hands, I’d rushed back to visit with him, other than eating his meals, he’d spent his entire days in bed.

Recalling once, as my father sat up, to change into clean underwear, he couldn’t lift his arms up, so the clothes could fit onto him, he’d sighed, “There’s nothing I can do.”

As I’d helped him, I’d consoled with him, “You’re no longer young anymore, dad!”

Actually, I felt very fake, my father’s getting weakened, was the result of the attacks of his cancer cells and his gout combined!

If taking away the cancer and the gout, my father is pretty healthy, he’s already eighty years old, and was still reporting the news for the Hakka magazines, I saw him several times, with a camera in front of him, with a notebook in hand, riding to the place where he was interviewing someone, looked like he was really enjoying himself, and, his son who works in the reporting industry, I just couldn’t say anything, he’d told me proudly several times, “my reporting abilities don’t pale by comparison to you, younger generations at all.”

I’d smiled and nodded, “You get better with time!”

He’d smiled, and gloated even more, “Must have been all the running on the courts when I was younger!”

At the start of this year, my gout started, the doctor saw how my right elbow swelled up like a volleyball, he’d managed to drain a lot of yellow fluid from my joints, and found that my white blood count was over, worried I might be infected, and didn’t know if I had a bone fracture, so, he’d done a complete CT scan on me.

And, it was, a white elderly person who was in front of me.

Because I only had to get my one arm scanned, it was over very quickly.

As I came out, I saw the white elderly man lying in the bed, waiting for the staff to finish filling out his forms, then push him back to his room.  I’d needed to wait for my results from the CT scan, and so, I sat down next to him, and struck up a conversation with him.

I’d asked him, what he had?

“Cancer of the larynx!”, he’d replied in a light voice

“Oh!”, I’d become stumped, didn’t DARE ask him for the stage.

Then, I’d asked him, “How old are you?”

“Eighty-one.”

“Are you scared?”, I thought, at his age, he’s probably not afraid of dying.

“Yes!”, his voice was shaking, which shocked me, “I love life very much, I fear leaving those I love behind.  If cancer is only painful to me, and I won’t die from it, then, I’m more than willing to put up with it, because, I love this world way too much, I can’t let go of my loved ones, those whom I love and love me.”

A very good friend of mine, fell ill, and started going in and out of the hospitals a lot.

The very first night he was admitted, his heartrate and pulse had stopped, for over twenty minutes, and was found by the orderly who was checking the rooms, they’d performed emergency resuscitation on him, and he didn’t die.

That day, I’d gone to the hospital to visit with him, and we’d held a very lighthearted conversation.

I was very curious of the time his heart had stopped for around half an hour, I’d asked him, if he’d had the near-death experiences like in the movies, seeing how his life flashed before his eyes, how his deceased loved ones smiled at him, and a lighted path………

He shook his head, smiled and told me, “It was like I was in a deep sleep, no feelings at all.  When I woke up, I saw the doctors and my wife by my side.”

“So, that was, a sort of an outer body experience?”

He’d nodded:

I know, that if I’d died, I will bring so much pains to my loved ones.  But, in that condition, it’s just, no joy, no sorrow, no ecstasies, no worries……then………life, had finished, one more cycle.

My father’s body and his coffin were, pushed in, and we stood outside the walls, hearing the fires roar, like hearing the fourth movement of Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony, silently, stared at the black smoke outside the chimney, coming out, rushing, toward the skies.

I saw, my father, smiling at us, through the rising of the smokes, it though……

And, it was like, I didn’t, see anything, at all!

And so, this, is someone’s final passage of life, to the moment that he’d died, and, the families are still the ones, left with the pieces to pick up.

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Filed under Awareness, Family Matters, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Perspectives, Properties of Life