Hobbies, the Haiku of Light


How I Loved

Collecting Everybody’s Laughter

So I Can Open it Back Up

On My Funeral

So, this, is how you want everybody to remember you after you’re gone, you don’t want others to mourn for you, instead, you wanted them, to remember the happier times you had shared with them, that, is a great way to leave a legacy behind.

and no, still NOT my photograph…

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Filed under Coping Mechanisms, Expectations, Life, Loss, On Death & Dying, Philosophies of Life, Properties of Life, Values

The Air, My Friend

taken from the papers here…


They all thought I was playing, actually, I’m, crying.

This, is the mindset of loneliness, that lack of understanding from the outside world, that longing to be, accepted, by the group…

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Filed under Awareness, Being Alone, Loneliness/Solitude, Self-Images, Socialization, Story-Telling, STUCK in a Cookie Jar

Getting Out from Postpartum Depression


Upon hearing recently, that a woman committed suicide due to postpartum depression, after work, my husband inquired, if I’d felt okay lately?  If something’s up, I needed to let him know.

Compared to three years ago when my firstborn got here, my husband had metamorphosed from that self-centered big boy, into a man who puts his family first.  That year, my first child came, my husband’s “living life his way” made me feel so very helpless and alone, the “active participations” from my in-laws made me feel even MORE pressures; plus the economical burdens, I’d washed my face with my tears every single day.

Even after my month long recuperation is up, the anxieties, the self-mutilations, even the thought of taking my child with me to suicide, still circled around my mind again and again.  I’d told my husband of it, and, he’d blamed me for being too anal.  What’s most impressive was, when I’d told him I’d wanted to get professional medical help, he’d replied, “You should go to Africa instead, fighting to survive there every single day, that’ll keep your mind away from feeling depressed!”

Whether or not it was a joke, I’d still can’t believe, that someone who’d educated as he, a dentist, graduated from a public university, can say something so awful.  And, if my husband, who had medical trainings behaved as such, then, what trials must the other women who are also dealing with postpartum depression be faced with, would they be able to, receive the understandings of their separate families?

Thankfully, I have a supportive group of church friends, they’d helped take care of my child, took me to the free counseling sessions offered by the church; the counselor, after knowing my situation, encouraged me to see a professional.  In the seeing of the psychiatrist, I’d found, that other than the medications, the national health insurances also covered the talk therapy sessions as well.

Through the talking therapy session, I’d slowly felt better, learned to introspect and gotten some techniques to help me get along better with my husband.  From the three to four times fight a day, to one fight every three to four months, and now, we have two babies, and are expecting a third.  My friends joked about how intimate I must be getting with my husband, driving us to have so many children.  Yeah, certainly, compared to the postpartum depression experiences, we are now, interacting, so much better.  Postpartum depression may be a crisis of a marriage, but it can also be a chance, to better your interactions with your partners too.

And so, this woman worked, very hard, to get herself OUT of her own postpartum troubles, and, postpartum depression is still NOT a myth, you LOSERS, it’s real, and so, the next time your separate ladies start showing signs after they gave birth to YOUR young, DO show us some kindness!

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Filed under Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Being Alone, Family Matters, Healing Process, Life, Loneliness/Solitude, Obstacles in a Relationship, Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Psychosis & Other Problems from After Birth, Properties of Life

Brought Up that Way

“You can’t blame him”, she’d told, all her friends, as they all showed their condolences toward how she got that shiner on her eye, along with those bruised cheeks, again!

Brought up that way, that, was the sorry excuse that she’d used, to rationalize why he would take the downs of his life out on her!  Brought up that way, excusing his bad behaviors, how long, can you keep on, lying to yourself?  I know how much you wanted to believe in his FALSE promises of how he’ll change, how he will NEVER lay a hand on you, but, by NOT taking actions against HIS abuse, you’re only, getting yourself deeper…

Brought up that way, you’d been, using that, to EXCUSE his bad behaviors, and how many times had he hit you?  Gosh, I dunno, let me C-O-U-N-T………Brought up that way, yeah, so, let’s, examine the situations, shall we?  So, based off of that way of logic, shouldn’t ALL men who were raised under abuse, BE abusive?  But, NOT all MEN raised by abuse are abusive to their spouses (although the occurrences of abuse is higher, than the occurrences of not!).

Brought up that way?  So, I can BEAT the SHIT out of someone, when I feel awful about me, if I saw my father, beating on my mother every single night of my childhood?  Or, can I say those “accidental” hurtful words to you, because I heard daddy, yelling those mean things to mommy, and, they actually thought, that I was, already, asleep, as their arguments occurred, LATE in the nights?

Stop making excuses already, brought up that way?  Yeah, I too, WAS raised up by VERBAL, EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL abuses, as well as SEXUAL molestations, and for that, I’d taken it all out, on my D-O-L-L-S, ‘cuz they can’t fight BACK, so, don’t tell me I don’t know SHIT ‘bout scapegoating here!








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Filed under Abuse, Awareness, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Excuses, Family Dynamics, Lives Lost, Loss, Properties of Life, Vicious Cycle, Wake Up Calls

The Debris of Childhood

We’re all, impacted by this, because they (whoever they may be???) still don’t call it “growing pains” for nothing, do they?  Nope!

The debris of childhood, we’re all, feeling the impacts of the destructions, at various stages in our lives, and for some, because they refused to acknowledge, that their childhoods are so FUCKED up (and your point being???), that they needed a lie to live in, and so, they’d made up this HUGE wonderful lie, that they actually had amazing parents who loved them.

The debris of childhood, had you been impacted yet, I had, my life was sent, on that CRASH course, and, I was tossed, from that rollercoaster called my own life, but, I’d held on, refused to let go, and that, was how I was able to survive!  The debris of childhood, are you ready, to face it, up front?  Can you, handle the truth, that your parents may be like mine: abusive AND neglectful?  Because NOBODY can choose her/his family of origin, that, is why all families of origin is a SOURCE of pain for all!


Filed under Abandonment of Children, Abuse, Being Exposed, Childhood, Children Murdered, Cost of Living, Growing Up Too Fast, Innocence Lost, Life, Properties of Life, Things Left Behind, Vicious Cycle

The Husband Died, the Son is Ill, the Girlfriend Scammed the Woman for Forty Million Dollars

Vulnerability is the cause of being scammed here, from the Newspapers, translated…

A woman, Chen saw that her childhood best friend after she retired from the banks, she’d weathered through the death of her husband, her eldest son’s divorce, and she had a stroke herself, claimed that she knew a “master”, attempted of scamming her best friend for money using that she wanted to help her get rid of her bad luck, and, as her former colleague realized that something wasn’t quite right and called the police, that, was how this scam got busted, and the D.A. asked for Chen to be taken into custody, which the judge allowed for.

The police pointed out, that the sixty-seven year-old Chen grew up with the victim, and so, she’d trusted Chen, but, Chen too advantage of the victim’s husband dying, her eldest son fallen ill, her younger son in the U.S., working, she felt lonely and empty, in a year’s time, she’d managed, to scam her for about forty million dollars.

The police stated, that last year in August, Chen told the victim, that she knew a “master” who knew how to turn her luck around, to ward off her bad luck, but she must put up the money for the procedures, Chen used the fact, that the victim’s husband had died, because there was something bad in her karma, her eldest son’s divorce, as well as her stroke, are all, due to difficulties in her life, wanted the woman to pay a huge sum of money, to have rituals performed for her.

Later, Chen told the victim, that she was hexed by a former coworker, and that she must pay some money, to have the hex removed, or, she will lose her life, and her offspring will have bad luck too.  The victim had, given thirty million dollars N.T. to Chen, and Chen said, that she is in charge of manipulating the prices on the sales of properties, that she could make sure that the victim gets her property’s value increased, and the woman had signed over a house that she has in a very highly-priced neighborhood, to the bank, for ten million dollars N.T. for Chen to use.

Last month, Chen asked the woman to take her retirement pension which was very good from the banks out, to give it to her in cash, and the woman’s former colleagues realized that something wasn’t quite right, he’d notified the police, and, got the victim to use $100,000N.T., to lure Chen out, and, the police busted her.

Chen stated, that she was looking out for her old friend, that it wasn’t fraud, the police booked her on fraud, and, the judge allowed for her to be taken into custody after the D.A. pleaded the case.

So, this, is the downside of trusting someone too much, like this woman, who’d trusted the scam artist, and ended up, losing almost everything she had, but gladly, she didn’t, and this scam artist used her friendship with the woman, and she knew the woman’s state of mind, how she felt she was having a good run of bad luck, and that, was how she was able to scam her.


Filed under Abusing Someone's Trust, Awareness, Bad Behaviors, Betrayals, Cause & Effect, Criminals, Current Events, Emptiness of Modern Man's Souls, Issues of the Society, Knowing the Law and Breaking It, Messed Up Values, Observations, Properties of Life, Scams, Slaps on the Wrist, Social Awareness, Story-Telling, Wake Up Calls, White Picket Fence

Hiring Adolescent Girls to Strip Online, Only Pays Them $8000N.T. a Month

Because???  Oh yeah, SEX still SELLS!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

A man, Chien was suspected of working with an agency and illegally recruited twenty-six young men and women to work as strip reporters, and hold webcam conferences with the clients completely nude, and, the workers got scammed by the layers, and, only managed to get paid just three-percent of what the audiences paid to the company; some of the employees changed their minds about working there, and were threatened to get exposed if they don’t keep on working by the agency, some wanted a name-brand bag, and, had webcam conferences with clients with her top off, and only managed to receive a little over $8,000N.T.s for working a little over a month.

The Detective Department two nights ago, separated into teams, went to Kaohsiung, Yilan, Changhwa, Chiayi, Tainan, and Pingdong, etc., etc., etc., the studios, as well as the members’ residences, arrested Chien and the twelve agents, they’d confiscated the computers, the tactic manual, along with other times, the police booked the individuals based off of laws against sex trade of children, human trafficking,, and other laws; the police said that of the twelve agents, one of them was a transgendered person, and, of the twenty-six underage platform sex news reporters, at least two of them were just teens.

The website runs on memberships, and, there were over four hundred strip reporters, and the one-on-one sessions with the news casts via webcam or by phone sex would cost $2N.T.s a minute, and one sex reporter to multiple audience is $5N.T per minute, and for the top off, completely nude, topless, sexually illicit behaviors, the website would change anywhere from $500N.T. to $1,500N.T.s, the station would earn anywhere from four, to five million dollars N.T. per month, but the agency, and the website took about ninety-seven percent of the total earned, and only three percent would be given to the strip reporters.

And so, IF you have a brain, then, you’d see, that it’s NOT a good deal, after all they’re asking you to go all O-U-T in front of a CROWD, and, what do you get?  Almost NOTHING, compared to how much the agents are getting, and this is still happening because???  Oh yeah, SIMPLE economics: supply AND demand?  Hello, hello, hello?  Sex still SELLS, but the cash goes into the pockets of, NOT those who are topless, and, that, is just what you get, if you’re DUMB enough, to think that it’s EASY money!


Filed under Abuse of Power, Bad Behaviors, Being Exposed, Cost of Living, Early Exposures, Innocence Lost, Loss, News Stories, Scams, Sex Sells