Hey Pop,It’s been awhile. It’s been 31 years to be exact. In fact it was 31 years ago today when you left us. I’m sorry it’s been a little while since my last letter. Not sure if you can see the news where you are but the world is in a little bit of a tailspin. […]Letters From A Son: A Note To The Old Man — The Written Addiction
Category Archives: Adult Children
The problem here, is still NOT with the daughter, but with the mother, but, does she realize it??? Of course N-O-T, translated…
From awhile ago, on the news, a certain organization had been losing money by the year, the second-generation owner decided to sell of the office building, for cash, the founder, as he was, interviewed, stated, “My heart ached as my son did it, but now, I’d, trusted in his decisions entirely!”
This pair of father and son made me so envious, and at the same time, I’d, felt heartache for them both, because how I’d, wished that my own mother, can trust me like this father had his own son too.
From the views of the world, I guess, I’m, the pride of my parents: made high grades, gone to an all-star institution, and, managed to pass the exams for a public office on my very first try, I’d never needed my parents to worry over my school performances or my work.
Although my mother stated verbally, that I’d, done well for myself, but she’d, never had faith, that I can, handle things on my own, whether it be how I’d spent my money, how to treat others I meet, whether to have children after I married, who should care for my child if s/he was born…………my mother’s criticisms came at me, never-ending, “it’s for your sake”, was her most widely used phrase, and her weapon.
She’d never understood, that what she’d believed to be a show of care and concern, her nagging, was interpreted as how she didn’t trust me enough, I’d tried to tell her, but her response was always, “Those with your last names, can’t take any criticisms from others!”
When I was interning, I’d, lived at home, I’d had a crash on a rainy day, and, as I’d, bent my knees, my injuries started bleeding, but I’d not let my mother know, I’d, bent down, holding the pains in, as I’d helped clean up the house, until my mother rode out to get the groceries, and found the head of the motorcycle dented, that, was when she’d, found out. I’d gotten into another, serious crash after I was married, and, it’d been years to this very day, I’d still, not told my parents what had happened to me.
Of the two wrecks I got in, I was, very scared, but I knew, that other than feeling anxious over me, and nagging me, my parents couldn’t do anything for me, and they’d, surely, blamed me, for being, too careless too. And so, no matter how painful, I’d much rather, hide the truth from them.
I’d never doubted the love my mother had for me, but every time, as I’d, wanted to show affection towards her, she’d started, lecturing me, and in the end, she’d added, “Nobody else is going to tell you this, I’m your mother, that was why, for your sake, I’m, telling, you the truth!” in my mother’s mind, I’ll never be, enough, there are, always things, I can, improve, and, all of my good performances are, matter-of-fact, and yet, the imperfections, are what pricked at her, and she’d needed to, get rid of them.
But, my dearest mother, you know what? Your daughter may not be perfect, but, she’d always tried very hard, worked hard, can you just, let go, and trust in me?
And, hopefully, this woman’s mother can see this article, and change the way she interacts with her daughter, but, I’m still, NOT holding MY breath, because parents like these, they think what they’re doing, IS for the good of their young, and they just keep on, doing whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they’re doing, using their same old ways, probably because they were, treated as such by their own parents (‘cuz these sorts of SHITS still gets passed down, from one generation to the next, like D.N.A.???) and this daughter is going to, have a very difficult time, getting closer to her mother that’s for sure…
The Parents Were Dodging the Collectors, Abandoned Their Two Young Sons, and Found Guilty of Abandonment
The SELFISH ACTS of these parents, but then again, if we can’t save ourselves, how the F*** (maxed out???) can we possibly save our own young, right??? From the Front Page Sections, translated…
A woman, Shen who has a teashop in Wanhwa owes over millions of dollars in debt, because she could no longer withstand the collectors coming repeatedly to her home to collect, she’d escaped home, and two days later, her husband “ran away from home” to, leaving only the Indonesian nurse’s aide, with their twin eight-year-old sons with cerebral palsy. The Taipei District Attorney’s Offices believed that the twins weren’t capable of taking care of themselves on their own, they’d charged the couple with abandonment.
The D.A.’s investigations showed, that Sheng (age 52) had monetary and debt difficulties, and last June, the collectors came repeated to her home to collect, she was pressed, she’d taken the time when the Indonesian nurse’s aide went out to pick her twin sons from school, and escaped to the south to dodge the collectors.
Two days later, her husband, the elderly Su (age 72) also followed suit, and while the Indonesian nurse’s aide went to school to pick up the two young sons, he’d, made his way to his relatives in Hsinbei City to hide out. And, the nurse’s aide waited until midnight, and still no signs of him and his wife, she’d, immediately, notified the police; the police notified the Hsinbei Social Services Department to step in.
The social workers found, that this family was listed as a high-risk family a long time ago, plus the Indonesian nurse’s aide’s term was about to be up, and needed to leave Taiwan, they’d needed to place the twins quickly; the couple had an active arrest warrant out on them by the police, and, after the few months of on the run, they were, finally, caught.
As Sheng was taken in by the police, she’d claimed, that because she couldn’t pay her debts, the collectors kept coming to collect, and she was at her wit’s ends, so she ran; she thought that her husband would, take care of their twin sons, and didn’t guess, that her husband would, escape home like she had too; and the elderly, Su claimed, that there was still the Indonesian aide left at home to look after their sons, that it didn’t, constitute as abandonment.
Based off of understanding, in the time that they were dodging the collectors, they didn’t have any contact with one another.
The D.A. pointed out, that after Su made his escape, and although there was the Indonesian hired help, but she’s not the legal guardian or the caretaker legally, and her work visa was about to expire, and she’d needed to leave, and believed, that the couple’s behaviors constitute as abandonment.
And see, how SELFISH these two god DAMN adults were! They’d just, left home, because they couldn’t take whatever the F*** (maxed out???) they started, and left the nurse’s aide, all alone at home, to take care of their two handicapped children, and if that’s not irresponsible, I don’t know what is!
Whatever happened to the values of “you do the crimes, you do the times”, or “TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES for YOUR OWN bad behaviors”??? Apparently, this woman had missed out on that “memo”, from NBCNEWS.com, copyrighted on Associated Press…
A woman admitted on Wednesday that she helped two of her children conceal evidence of a gang-related double slaying that occurred at her home, where the bodies were buried in a yard.
Arnetta Welch pleaded guilty to hindering apprehension, Camden County prosecutors said. The 42-year-old is expected to get a two-year probation term when she’s sentenced in March.
Welch bought cleaning supplies and helped with the removal of evidence following the February 2010 killings of Michael Hawkins and his girlfriend, Muriah Huff, prosecutors said. The couple was tortured, beaten, shot and buried in the backyard of Welch’s Camden home, prosecutors have said.
The bodies of Hawkins, of Mount Holly, and Huff, of Cinnaminson, weren’t discovered for three days.
Hawkins, 23, was killed over a gang dispute and a stolen bottle of liquor, authorities say. Huff, 18, had accompanied Hawkins to the home and was killed to prevent her from identifying the attackers, they say.
Welch’s children, 19-year-old Shatara Carter and 24-year-old Dennis Welch, were among 10 defendants who have been convicted or pleaded guilty for their roles in the slayings.
Dennis Welch pleaded guilty to aggravated manslaughter in 2013 and was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Carter, who was 14 at the time of the killings, pleaded guilty as an adult to aggravated manslaughter last year and was sentenced to 22 years in prison
So in the end, who, did you help out, mom??? Did you help your son dodge HIS punishment for the crimes he’d committed? Uh, HECK NO, and now, you’d implicated yourself too, because you attempted to cover HIS ass, and, was it worth it? And, what sort of a value, would YOU be teaching your “of age”, ADULT son? Oh, I know, my mama will wipe up my FUCKED up mess FOR me, which means that I will NEVER need to STEP up, and take the responsibilities for my own behaviors, yay me!!! Are you FUCKING (and don’t pardon me this time!!!) shitting me here???
You are, the company you keep! Or, once again, this, may just be another “rationalization” the parents made…
She’s not a bad person, she just got caught up with the wrong crowd, she used to be such a well-behaving child, I don’t know what went wrong, we’d given her a good education and everything too, believe or not!
She’s not a bad person, she just got caught up with the wrong crowd, and, we tried, really hard too, to help her, but we just couldn’t, she was already, under those bad influences. She’s not a bad person, really, there was a time, when she was so very sweet, and yet, somewhere along the way to growing up, something changed…
She’s not a bad person, she just got caught up with the wrong crowd, there’s no way, that you can work your way around that, it’s already a fact, that she’d fallen, under bad influences these days here.
A Q&A, translated…
Q: Madam H, who’s been married sixteen years, with two children wrote…
H, who had nothing but animosities toward her husband and her marriage, the main reason being that eight years ago, the husband quit his government job to go for his doctorate. At first, in the beginning, he would moonlight by teaching, and, all he earned, was merely enough for his spending, a little over a year ago, he’d quit that, said that he needed to focus on his graduation, and started doing NOTHING at home.
H had already had all the pent up displeasures about her husband, which made her refuse to have intimacies with him, and now, there’s this part, the economics (in the eight years’ time, he’d spent over six million dollars on his education, and H, because she must put all her wages into keeping the household intact, she couldn’t save a single penny, she’d felt dangers), which made their relationship even worse. And, the forty-something husband had the problem of not moving forward, and plus, he saw, that his parents has two properties, and a couple million dollars in saving, and so, he’d not look for a job actively anymore.
The husband blamed H for not acting her duty as his wife, because she couldn’t satisfy him physically; and H blamed him for NOT making a dime, causing her to want to separate from him. They’d gotten into numerous arguments, and, there’s still NO conclusion, H had plans to move out, to see IF she could get her husband, to realize the importance of her in his life.
H’s marriage IS in a jam all right, but, not to the point that she need to move out. Based off of what the letter said, the two had just dated a couple of months and decided to marry, and, to date, the marriage had gone on for sixteen years. From the start when the husband had his tempers and started throwing things, to now, he’s helping her around the house.
Only on the subject of NOT working, H should NOT start by complaining about how hard she’d worked, how much stresses she’s been under, she could start by changing the relationship between them, and, take a discussion attitude in talking about money; When the couple is getting along well, everything CAN solve itself. Change the tone, the use of words and your attitude, up ‘til now, I believe, that this marriage still hadn’t reached its potentials yet, first, mend, then, rebuild!
And so, because this L-O-S-E-R is a L-E-E-C-H, after all, he’d only studied, and now, he’s finally graduated, and he still does NOT look for a job, and, the wife’s slaving her life away, no wonder she feels unfair, and this is really bad, because when one of you changed and the other didn’t, the distance between the two of you will get wider, wider, and wider until it can’t be crossed.
And that still makes you an UNFIT parent!!! From the Front Page Sections, translated…
A man, Jiang, who’s been diagnosed as emotionally unstable, was displeased at how his wife kept ignoring him, he’d set his house on fire, then, used a screw driver, took his daughter hostage, and jumped, with her, into a deep ditch, and was in a stand-off with the police for two whole hours; and the police took advantage of the time when they’re handing him a cigarette, to carry the little girl who’s shocked away, and forced him into the hospital, after he was charged with public endangerment.
“Would daddy burn us to death?”, every time the child spoke of her uncertainties, the family would also fear; in order to prevent any more threatening behaviors from Jiang to his family, the families hoped he could get the complete care and hospitalizations he will require. The Sanitary Department stated, that they will get a medical doctor’s opinion on the matter, then, see if there’s a need for forced hospitalization.
The man in charge of the Center for Domestic Violence Prevention, Lin pointed out, that last year, they’d listed the Jiang household as a high-risk family, and had sent social workers to visit them regularly, and giving them counsel and the situations are improving, and that Jiang had lost it two days ago, they’d already helped Jiang’s wife and kids by filing an emergency restraining order against Jiang.
The police investigated and found, that the thirty-eight year-old man had been unemployed and stayed at home for awhile now, and the household relied on outside charity, along with government assistance to get by; recently, Jiang’s personality had changed, and every time he’d gotten into a disagreement with his families, he would start throwing things, and had multiple times, set fires to his own place of residence.
Even though, the family had multiple times, scheduled him for hospital stays, but he’d always manage to sneak out. The nurses from the public sanitations department had three-times, helped him to get hospitalized, but, he’d locked the bedroom doors from the inside, and, the nurses considered that he might be emotionally unstable, and so, they’d left him alone, and didn’t force their way into his room.
At the start of the month, Jiang first used a knife to threaten to kill his own wife, on the 24th, he’d set his own house on fire, the D.A. allowed him to make bail. Two days ago, in the morning, Jiang was displeased at how his wife ignored him when she was cooking, he’d committed arson once more, and had used a screw driver, and forcefully took his own five-year-old daughter, and jumped into the ditch next to his house, claimed that he will take his own daughter to die with him.
Jiang had several times, pushed his daughter’s head under water as threats. And, the patrol officers who were called to the scene worked hard to console him, wanted him to think more on his own, along with his daughter’s behalf, and asked his wife and made communication between the couple possible, but they’d still argued nonstop.
The police saw how shocked the little girl was, and was struggling and wailing in her father’s arms, and the police pretended to hand Jiang a cigarette, wanting him to calm down so they can talk; as Jiang reached for the cigarettes, the officer managed to get the child, and, the rest of the crew rushed up, and pulled him onto the ambulance that took him to the city’s care facility, and the child who was still under shock was sent back with Jiang’s eldest brother.
And so, because you were unstable, you jeopardized your own child’s life, what SORT of a father are you? And, you SHOULD be forcibly hospitalized, whether or NOT you like it, because something IS wrong with you, after all, you’d made your families live in fear for their lives every single day, and that, is how there are still so many unstable adults, and, the ones who suffered the most are still the kids!
Here Comes Another “Round” of Abuse…
The Younger Brother Just Got Engaged, and Had a Car Wreck, Became Depressed, Could This Be Why He’d Committed Suicide?
Here’s a little BIT more about the family, from the Front Page Sections, translated…
The brothers the Chens who committed suicide yesterday, because their father died when they were real young, their mother left home, and they were given to their grandparents who were farmers to raise, after the tragedies, everybody who knew them felt very sad over the matter. The distant regions in Nantou are filled with these cross generation upbringings, and the problems that will arise out of these families are becoming more and more alarming for the society.
This May, the grandmother who was diagnosed with hypertension was found dead in the tea plantation, and the siblings who were so reliant on her had felt a harder blow than everybody else did. The neighbors all told, that the siblings were very courteous toward others regularly, the older brother works as a chef, and the youngest just got out of the armed services and was engaged in May. And, based off of understanding, back in May, the younger brother had a car accident, and had disclosed how strained he felt because of the matter, and asked the grandparents to stop worrying, but, it still didn’t stop this tragedy from happening.
The Lifeline Foundation CEO of Nantou, Lu said, that there are many incidences of cross-generation upbringing in the distant regions in Nantou, a lot of the grandparents who “raised their grandkids up” all claimed, “we’re only responsible for keeping them fed and warmly dressed, it is difficult, for us to instill the right kinds of values in them”. In families that are well economically, getting the kids fed was hard enough, and so, nobody can blame these grandparents. “These two brothers just met a fork in their roads, and couldn’t pass through it, it’s really heart aching”, Lu believed, that the MOST important matter, is how to help counsel these families out of their difficult times.
And so, this tragic accident is still a combination of how the young men wouldn’t tell anyone about their troubled minds, and the LACK of the supports from the government, and the lack of resources, to offer them the assistance that they were needing, is all involved, in the causing of these two young men’s deaths, and yet, this, is still ALL hindsight…
A Mother Was Unhappy with the Test Scores that Her Daughter Made on Her High School Entrance Exams, She Leapt Off the Building in Front of Her Own Daughter’s Eyes
Overbearing parents, your children ARE the ones who are (or rather, should be) TROUBLED by the examinations, and you can’t handle it??? From the Front Page Sections, translated…
An emotionally unstable woman, Liu, because her daughter performed badly on her examinations recently, she’d gone up to the twelfth floor roof yesterday morning, to jump, even though the daughter found her mother in time, but she wasn’t able to stop her, she’d still taken the leap right in front of her child, the daughter had a mental breakdown right then and there.
As the police came to understand the facts, the family told, that because Liu had been diagnosed with depression, she’d been on medication for five years, and had suicidal behaviors and thoughts from before; and recently, she was troubled by how her daughter didn’t perform well enough on her middle school exam, she got depressed again, the family was already on high alert, yesterday, when they discovered that she was not in the house, they’d gone up to the top floors of their building immediately, but, they were still, a bit too late.
Based off of understanding, early at nine in the morn, Liu walked up to the roof of the building, as the daughter found that the mother wasn’t at home, she’d gone up to the roof to find her, she’d found her mother, sitting by the fences, she’d called out to her mother, “mom, don’t jump”, the mother replied, “Don’t come any closer”.
The girl ran to call the security guard, and, as she’d climbed back up, the mother took the leap right in front of the daughter’s eyes, landed on the second floor balcony. The fire department and the police had about to go up to try to console Liu to not jump, as they’d gotten to the top floors, the security guard told them, “She just jumped”, and, everybody who was there was so shocked, especially the adolescent girl who bore witness to her own mother’s suicide, she was so shaken up.
The school instructor mentioned, that the mother had hoped that the daughter would take the specialized examinations or to retake the exams again, but the girl wanted to go to the school she’d gotten in yesterday, the mother couldn’t accept the outcomes of the child’s scores, and, that, combined with her depression, may have been what caused her to suicide. The female student blamed herself, just cried nonstop, this made everybody who saw her, feel the heartaches. The school stated, that they’d already assigned professionals to her house, to counsel her, and will keep an eye on this girl in the future.
Liu’s husband is a regular nine-to-five worker, yesterday as he was called, he’d rushed home, heartbroken, thought about how broken his family became, the father and daughter held on to one another and cried.
The senior doctor of psychiatry, Su said, that this patient would think about all the negatives of life, and has a low handle on stress and pressure, even though, she was taken medications, but she’d still magnify the effects of some events.
Su believed, that the mother, taking the leap in front of the daughter, it would cause serious traumas in the child, and she’s carry the guilt inside, and that someone should show her constant concerns and guidance.
And so, what DOES this mother leave behind? Pains, sufferings, guilt, and loss, among other things, and, because of her prior diagnosis of depression, that is probably what made this woman cracked, and this, is when a parent cared too much, so what IF your kid didn’t do well on her/his exams, it’s her/his life, let her/him handle it, STOP carrying it ALL on yourselves, STUPID parents!!!